Two birds, one stone

[ Life in plastic - Roleplay only ]- Your #1 folk singer songwriter & drag queen,;;; Trixie Mattel (Brian F)

[lifeinmattel]

wtftaissa:

I would say I keep forgetting that Coachella is happening, but it’s hard to forget when it’s the only thing I’m seeing on social media. If you’re at Coachella - have fun and be safe. I, however, will be sitting alone in my house with my dog eating M&Ms and probably watching Star Wars, though my mind isn’t set on it yet, so if you have any suggestions, I’m open to them.

Honestly? you probably chose the better plan. But to be honest i’m just petty the Walmart yodel boy was invited to sing on stage before i was.

[lifeinmattel]

soddl:

I feel like if I stole some empty luggage that’s exactly what I’d use it for, dead bodies. Stolen luggage would be the perfect place to put dead bodies, I’ve watched enough forensic files to know you never want to put it in your own luggage, that’ll come back and bite you on the ass.  But either way, they’re idiots for going through all that trouble. I bet they were pissed when they got home and there was nothing good in them. They’re probably now getting shunned by their thief friends for being idiots. 

Wow, you could easily make me believe it was you who stole it, but if you told me it was for a dead body, i’d honestly be okay with that? just once it didn’t bite me in the ass, and you burnt the luggage afterwards. But if they actually thought something was gonna be inside something they took out of a brand new box? then i’d be pointing and laughing too.

[lifeinmattel]

wolfiecindz:

you’re right a lot of people believe i should invest into a fake i.d. and maybe they’re right. and i already dress old enough and i leaned over at one bar far enough that my tits near fell out and that didn’t faze the guy. it’s a little harder to get served then i thought. my looks have always gotten me pretty far so i feel like i’m a little out of my element. i guess the people sending me away have just seen far hotter in life.

Oh honey, sometimes you just get lucky with looks depending oh what bar you try it out on, even in Vegas. I would say use charm, or just go get that Fake ID, but there’s still a 50% you may end up with a mugshot.

[lifeinmattel]

ffsaaron:

Maybe there’s a new type of klepto where they just steal luggage and leave everything else, so someone needs to pick a new label for those who do. I’d be the same way, especially if I didn’t pay for it in the first place. A fancy sign and everything too, I can see it now.

Oh wow, do you think there’s certain specific categories  like that within the klepto range? cause someone who just goes around stealing luggage sounds likes like something you’d typical see in LA anyway, but someone who steals just boxes? thats what i wanna see. I wanna see a whole show dedicated to all this.

[lifeinmattel]

elizajanetc:

Clearly they had a very last minute trip to go on or something. I do like the dead body idea though, that’s an exciting thought. That sucks though, sorry someone did that to you.

Between that, and carrying a dead body, both are incredibly possible. I wouldn’t be surprised if whoever seen the box just got a call about a last minute trip and needed to improvise -- If it was literally anything else, i would’ve been pissed...but i’m just amused

[lifeinmattel]

text: trixie 💅🏻

Adore: hiiii just wanted to let you know that i have fully moved into shangela's box and she's a better mother to me than u and katya ever were

Adore: because she tells me when she's sleeping with someone

Trixie: Oh wow, you should’ve sent a postcard if you were enjoying her box that much, but i’m slightly hurt by that statement.

Trixie: are you ever gonna let this go? or are you just gonna be petty forever..

Trixie: Someone needs to get laid

[lifeinmattel]

tfkeegs:

That’s pretty random honestly, but then again stranger things have happened I’m sure.

To be fair, i’m sure i live near a lot of people who would’ve stolen just the box, its LA, that doesn’t even seem that weird, but wow, out of all the things i could’ve gotten stolen

[lifeinmattel]

yoemilybett:

So Arrow gets another season and that means that I get to play my favorite girl Felicity once again and I’m happy. Hey, I’m Emily and I’m probably the clumsiest, weirdest person you will ever meet and you gotta love me! Plus I’m very humble.

I might have to fight you over the “clumsy” title, or we can share it? But i feel if thats gonna happen, you have to tell me your most extreme clumsy story? but oh wow hi, i’m Trixie

[lifeinmattel]

sobethanymota:

I don’t know why but all these Disney movies I’ve been watching lately is seriously making me wanna go to Disneyland. Who wants to come with me?

I would much rather have the option to go to Disneyland right now then be working, but oh wow, go live up your best life. Just completely move yourself into the park itself.

[lifeinmattel]

steveamelly:

I think you just started a conspiracy theory. Leave you with that.

Should i be worried? I feel like the person who normally starts the theory dies soon after?

[lifeinmattel]

ffschemsworth:

In the end i was able to make my man bun 

To be fair, your man bun is probably more powerful then anyone else’s, that’s the real tea here.

[lifeinmattel]

ffsgigi:

If you’re going to commit some felonies, go big, go classy. Did you get replacement luggage or is Ru being cheap?

Oh girl, drag him. I’m sure they reimburse it, but i literally haven't had time to even be bothered so lets just go with Ru being cheap. Plow twist tho, he was the one who stole it.

[lifeinmattel]

stfudarren:

Ouch. Sorry to hear about that. The fake that the person stole in general obviously makes them not too bright so not taking the whole box thing makes a little sense there. So much effort though, wow. I hope they are doing something shady though. A risk like that has to come with a reward bigger than just regular luggage. 

They probably saw the huge box, and thought, maybe there’s someone worth taking in there? then ripped it open to see it was literally just luggage and took it anyway, i’m sure that’s the real story, but my mysterious dead body one is better. I’d be shook if they brought it back with the note that said sorry, if they were low-key trying to frame me.

[lifeinmattel]

biiiig-z:

That sounds pretty gutless. Does that fall under the federal offense - like if someone were to tamper with your mail? Not that you know who did it, but.. that’s such a shitty thing for someone to do. You really have to be some special type of scum to steal someone else’s package, let alone opening a box to take empty luggage, just to leave the box. Well, if it’s being used to transfer a dead body, hopefully it’s their own body - and they get what they deserve.

I would imagine? In fairness tho, i’d only report it out of curiosity to know exactly what it’s being used for. Unless someone stole it to live inside, then that’d defiantly be a plot twist....but they would’ve taken the box? but oh wow, now that would be the gag of the century.

[lifeinmattel]

hcurly:

Imagine that. Should I let the authorities know you’re innocent?

I wanna say yes? but i there’s a possibility i could end up on a “making a murderer pt 2″ Netflix documentary, and i wanna see what that brings me.

[lifeinmattel]

soguddy:

I don’t think you transfer dead bodies on the black market though, because I mean who would want a dead body? Wait, don’t answer that, what I mean is, I think they’d more be transferring like body parts or something to the black market, right? That’s what people buy on the black market. I assume? I’ve never dealt with the black market so I wouldn’t really know. Either way, sucks about your luggage being stolen.

Oh honey, i know people who’d love to buy a whole dead body on the black market, but they probably buy it off Craigs list for cheaper. I’m also suspicious that you’re trying too hard to not have me believe you have in fact, dealt with the black market before...you’re not that great with being subtle here.

[bluegrassed]

Trixie Mattel in UC Santa Barbara, 12th April 2018 - @rose_rome_ on instagram x x