Harry Potter

[lighntningboltpotter]

"I don't...but I think that's more about my abandonment issues than anything else." He tries to joke, but not really sure how much of that statement is just in humor. With a deep sigh he pulls her back to where they were sitting before. This time not as close but still sharing the same space.

"I'm not sure where to go either, but I think...well I think I need to really look at what my marriage means. There's a lot about it I've been ignoring because it was easier to. Again, that's on me."

[ohluna]

Luna lets him bring her in closer if only to reassure him that she really isn't going anywhere. It's hard to be in this space. Trying to be careful in a way she never really has been. But it seems safe enough at least to lace their fingers together as the move plays on in front of them. "We should go on a walk in the forest tomorrow. Time in the forest always helps me think more clearly."

[lighntningboltpotter]

Harry smiles, thankful that she isn't...lashing out or running away.

"I think that would be great. Really."

[ohluna]

"I'll stay," Luna assure softly, "But if we don't pretend it never happened, then I don't really know how to move forward. You won't lose me, you'll never lose me. You know that, right?"

[lighntningboltpotter]

"I don't...but I think that's more about my abandonment issues than anything else." He tries to joke, but not really sure how much of that statement is just in humor. With a deep sigh he pulls her back to where they were sitting before. This time not as close but still sharing the same space.

"I'm not sure where to go either, but I think...well I think I need to really look at what my marriage means. There's a lot about it I've been ignoring because it was easier to. Again, that's on me."

[ohluna]

Luna feels the warmth of his hand, and for the first time his touch hurts. It spreads an ache through her because she has ruined things. She's cut herself open and now that it's out there they can't just go back to how things were. Not when he knows how she feels.

"I'm sorry, Harry." Her voice is soft as she finally looks up at him, "I shouldn't have said anything. Please just forget I ever did. We'll just never speak on it again and pretend it never happened." He's still her best friend, she'll shove these feelings down for the rest of her life before she risks losing him again.

[lighntningboltpotter]

It's the smart thing to do. Luna is one of the brightest people he knows (and his best friend is Hermione Granger) -she doesn't use her intelligence like a weapon. He knows deep down, she just...shares it. Like the gift she is. If she is telling him to do something, it's only because it's the right and smart thing to do.

Yet, he stands there unwilling to agree.

"I can't. I don't want to. To forget." Harry says, voice steady. "I'm not...sure what anything means. I just know I don't want you to leave and I don't want to pretend none of this happened."

[ohluna]

Luna shakes her head, still keeping her eyes down. "No, you're not. I am. I shouldn't have said anything, I just- I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry. Maybe I should just go."

[lighntningboltpotter]

"No, no please." Harry is quick to say while gently reaching for her hand. His panic is fueled by the idea of her leaving and not coming back. He's never been in his position before. His relationship history consists of a rocky depressing short time with Cho Chang who was mourning Cedric and then jumping into marriage with Ginny straight after the war. They hadn't even dated before he popped the question.

-he thought his lack of irrational emotions was normal. That they were comfortable. Wasn't that what he wanted? Peace after the war? Ginny was fine, she was a good laugh and pretty, what more could a battered and cracked soul like him want?

He didn't need anything else.

And yet, he feels the gnawing overwhelming need to keep Luna rise with every second.

"Luna, please. I...You have to understand that..." He pushes himself to think. He could fight his way out of an army of death eaters but god forbid he had to collect himself to express emotions. "Well, frankly I don't understand anything myself. I just...don't want you to leave thinking this ruins anything."

[ohluna]

"It means that I can't stop thinking about kissing you right now." Luna stared down at her lap, not ready to see what his reaction will be.

[lighntningboltpotter]

"Oh." Harry stupidly replies with, or rather breathes. The word floats out and he feels lightheaded at the thought. Luna...liked him? Like that? He suddenly feels thirteen again with his first crush and every conceivable normal thing to say leaves his brain. "I mean that's nice. No wait. Not nice but not bad. I mean..." Gods he wishes he could just...pause the world and take a moment.

"What I am trying to say is, that...isn't a bad thing but...well." It feels weird. To blurt out Ginny. She's his wife but, it feels like he's simply trying to use the idea of her as a barrier. It should be, more instinctual. He should politely but firmly turn Luna down because...he is married.

He hates that it feels like that might be the only thing stopping him.

It should be more. It should be because he loves Ginny or finds the idea of kissing anyone else abhorrent. It should be easy to say 'no thanks' -but it fucking isn't and why the hell is wrong with him?

"Shit. I'm...I'm a terrible person aren't I?"

[lighntningboltpotter]

He continues to frown, except now it has delved into pout territory. "-but I'm not. I liked it how we were before. Did you not?"

[ohluna]

"Harry..." Luna sighs, shoulders sagging. Her options are be honest or get close again and drive herself insane. "I did. You know I did. It's just...I liked it too much."

[lighntningboltpotter]

"What does that mean?" Harry asks bluntly because...well what does it mean. Does she mean she was about to fall asleep on him? He wouldn't care if she did. Hell he would just take a nap too.

[lighntningboltpotter]

Harry looks at her, looks at the distance and frowns.

"..Do I stink or something?"

[ohluna]

"What? No, of course not. I just- I don't know. I thought maybe you'd be more comfortable like this." It's the only lie she can come up with quickly.

[lighntningboltpotter]

He continues to frown, except now it has delved into pout territory. "-but I'm not. I liked it how we were before. Did you not?"

[lighntningboltpotter]

"Sure." He moves away, allowing her to get up and feels slightly regretful. Watching her get up before mentally clocking himself and forcing his eyes to the screen.

[ohluna]

She takes her time. Pouring out the old bowl and refilling with fresh popcorn. Taking several deep breaths before going back over. This time she sits down and keeps a little room between them just to keep herself from doing some horrible friendship ruining thing.

[lighntningboltpotter]

Harry looks at her, looks at the distance and frowns.

"..Do I stink or something?"

[lighntningboltpotter]

"What? No. Of course not. I mean, unless you want to?"

[ohluna]

"No, no I don't, I- nothing. It's nothing. Maybe I should refill our popcorn though." The bowl most of the way full, but it's as good an excuse as any to get some space.

[lighntningboltpotter]

"Sure." He moves away, allowing her to get up and feels slightly regretful. Watching her get up before mentally clocking himself and forcing his eyes to the screen.

[lighntningboltpotter]

"Huh? Y-Yeah. Of course." Harry lied, because he literally couldn't even tell what was going on the screen. Had it even been playing this whole time?

[ohluna]

"Good. That's good." Any second now she keeps telling herself she'll find the strength to put some space between them. After a few minutes through she hasn't managed to move an inch and instead finds herself turning up to look at him again. "We can change it if you're not." It's a weak excuse but she has to say something otherwise she'll just look a bit mad just staring at him.

[lighntningboltpotter]

"What? No. Of course not. I mean, unless you want to?"

[ohluna]

Luna feels painfully aware of him right now. Every shift, breath, all of him. She knows she should move. Put a little distance between them for her own sanity. "Are you enjoying the movie?" She asks in an attempt to distracted herself, but her voice comes out tighter than expected.

[lighntningboltpotter]

"Huh? Y-Yeah. Of course." Harry lied, because he literally couldn't even tell what was going on the screen. Had it even been playing this whole time?

[ohluna]

Before she can do something stupid, she rests her head again and stares at the movie still playing cheerfully in front of them and reminds herself that this is just a friendship.

[lighntningboltpotter]

The moment breaks, thankfully by her. Harry isn't sure he could have. He wasn't even sure what it was...only that he didn't hate it. And would be just as powerless if it happened again.

[lighntningboltpotter]

"Never. I mean that Luna...I could never get sick of you. Promise."

[ohluna]

For just a moment she considers what it would be like to close this small gap and press her lips to his. "Good. Because I could never get sick of you either."

[lighntningboltpotter]

The moment lingers, soft by heady in a way that Harry isn't sure what to do with...it's almost...romantic is the first word that comes to mind but then he mentally kicks it away because this is Luna -and she is literally the kindest, sweetest person he knows.

[lighntningboltpotter]

"We could also explore the Forbidden Forest...I mean I don't know why it's called that any more. It really just is a magical forest, but it's a lot safer these days. I recently spotted a unicorn grove last time I was out there."

[ohluna]

"That would be wonderful, I've always loved the forest." Luna looks up to give him a warm smile. "It's settled then, you'll be seeing a lot more of me. Just promise you won't get sick of me too soon," she teases.

[lighntningboltpotter]

"Never. I mean that Luna...I could never get sick of you. Promise."

[ohluna]

"I'm never bored with you." She assures, thumb stroking gently across his knuckle. "And spending a weekend here would be nice every once in a while. The candy store in Hogsmeade is still my favorite, it'll give me an excuse to feed my sweet tooth."

[lighntningboltpotter]

"We could also explore the Forbidden Forest...I mean I don't know why it's called that any more. It really just is a magical forest, but it's a lot safer these days. I recently spotted a unicorn grove last time I was out there."

[lighntningboltpotter]

Harry smiles and happily holds Luna's hand. It's a simply touch really, innocent but it feels like so much more in the moment. He doesn't do this, not often anyways. Not in a long time. Too long.

"Thanks again. For coming out here Luna."

[ohluna]

"You're welcome, Harry. I really did miss you. If you want, I can come out more often. It would be nice to see you more."

[lighntningboltpotter]

He mulls the idea over. If he really wants to be honest to himself, there's been a strict drop in hangouts. He sees his friends he does...but it's harder when he's at the castle and they've all got wildly different lives. "I mean, if you don't mind. I feel like I'd be boring in any other setting."

[ohluna]

The movie is so familiar that she barely has to pay attention to know the next line. Which leaves her focus elsewhere. Mostly the sound of his heart beating as she rests her head on his chest. On instinct she reaches for his hand and laces their fingers comfortably together.

[lighntningboltpotter]

Harry smiles and happily holds Luna's hand. It's a simply touch really, innocent but it feels like so much more in the moment. He doesn't do this, not often anyways. Not in a long time. Too long.

"Thanks again. For coming out here Luna."