pairing: producer!beomgyu x producer!femreader
part 1 // part 2 // part 3
summary: you and beomgyu have been at each other’s throats since day one at HYBE. both of you are producers, both of you are talented, and both of you absolutely refuse to lose to the other. whether it’s competing for the best demo, fighting over studio time, or bickering in team meetings, everyone knows one thing: you and beomgyu cannot stand each other so, of course, your boss decides to put you two on the same project—producing ENHYPEN’s next album. together. as in, sharing a studio, making creative decisions, and not murdering each other in the process. and suddenly, the tension isn’t just about work.
genre: enemies to lovers, coworkers to lovers, slow burn, angst with a good payoff // w/c: 26k // warnings: not proofread, MDNI!! smoking (reader and beomgyu smoke), drinking, angst, jealously, overworking characters, making out, petnames, dry humping
author's note: you guys loved part 1 so much that i decided to drop part 2!! i wasn’t originally planning on posting this so soon, but all the love and reactions made me wanna share it with you asap. hope you enjoy <3 READ PART 1 HERE //
out of tune's playlist <3
The night was quiet, but Beomgyu’s mind wasn’t.
It had started with a question. A simple, stupid question that he never should have asked.
Waiting for your boyfriend to pick you up?
You had blinked at him, caught off guard, before letting out a soft laugh—so casual, so oblivious to what you had just done to him. "Yeonjun? No. God, no. He’s just—" You shook your head, still smiling. "He’s not my boyfriend."
Beomgyu had scoffed, looking away before you could see how tightly his jaw had clenched.
It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that you weren’t with Yeonjun. It didn’t matter that you had laughed, like the thought had never even crossed your mind.
And yet, by the time he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment that night, exhaustion was settling deep into his body, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He rarely did these days, not properly, anyway.
The hallway to his apartment was quiet, dimly lit, the familiar flickering of the overhead lights casting long shadows against the walls. It wasn’t a bad place. Spacious, modern enough. But it felt empty.
As soon as he stepped inside, he tossed his bag onto the couch and went straight to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. His shoulders ached from hunching over his desk all day, his head heavy from staring at screens for too long.
Still, instead of going to bed, he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his call log. His thumb hovered over the contact labeled Mom, but for some reason, hesitation rooted him in place.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to her. It was just that… sometimes, it was easier to pretend things were fine when he didn’t hear how tired she sounded. Still, after a few moments, he forced himself to dial.
When she picked up, her voice was soft, laced with the kind of exhaustion that came from being sick for too long. "Gyu-yah."
His chest tightened. "Hey, Mom."
"You’re calling late," she murmured, a small smile in her tone.
"You’re awake late," he echoed his earlier words to his brother.
She chuckled lightly. "Guess it runs in the family." Another beat of silence. "You’ve been working a lot, haven’t you?"
Beomgyu leaned against the counter, closing his eyes briefly. She always saw right through him. "Yeah. Big project."
"Hm. And how’s that going?"
He exhaled, rubbing his fingers over his temple. "It’s—" He hesitated, searching for the right words. "Harder than I thought."
"Isn’t it always?"
He huffed a quiet laugh. "Yeah."
His mother’s voice softened. "What’s making it difficult?"
Beomgyu rolled his shoulders, shifting against the counter. He could lie, say it was just the usual stress of production, deadlines piling up, expectations weighing on him. That was part of it, sure. But there was something else. "She’s… challenging," he admitted before he could think better of it.
A pause. Then, amusement slipped into his mother’s voice. "She?"
Beomgyu regretted his wording immediately. "I meant the project is challenging." His mother hummed knowingly, and somehow that was worse than if she had outright called him out. He sighed, tipping his head back. "It’s just—I don’t know. I’m used to working on my own. Or at least, if I do work with other people, I don’t have to think about them all the time."
"All the time?"
He gritted his teeth. "Not like that."
His mother just laughed softly, as if she had already heard this story before. "That means they’re good, doesn’t it?"
Beomgyu scoffed. "More like they piss me off."
"That’s the same thing sometimes." He rolled his eyes, but a small, unwilling smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Does she make your job harder?" his mom asked after a moment, more thoughtful now.
Beomgyu exhaled slowly. "She makes my job better."
It was the truth. And he hated that. Because you did. Even when you were annoying, even when you were frustrating, even when you made him want to slam his head against the mixing console, you still made the music better.
And that should be the only thing that mattered. Should be.
His mother hummed softly, as if she could hear everything he wasn’t saying. "Some people just have a way of getting under your skin," she murmured. "And sometimes, that’s not a bad thing."
Beomgyu didn’t respond to that. Because he wasn’t sure he liked where his thoughts were heading. After a while, he let her rest, hanging up the call and tossing his phone onto the couch. He should go to bed. But instead, he found himself standing in his kitchen, staring at the dark city skyline through the window, mind circling back to the same damn thing. To you.
To the way you had looked at him earlier, confused by his mood. To the way your voice had softened when you told him you weren’t having a good day. To the way you had laughed at the idea of being with Yeonjun, so casually, like it wasn’t even a possibility.
He didn’t know why that last part stuck with him the most. And he really didn’t like that he cared enough to wonder.
And now, standing in the middle of a crowded party, staring at you across the room, he realized: You had never really left. You were looking at him.
Even with the haze of alcohol buzzing in his system, even through the blur of shifting bodies and flashing lights, Beomgyu felt it—sharp and unmistakable. The way your eyes found him, held him, even for just a moment. The way your expression flickered, unreadable, like you were trying to piece together something that neither of you had the words for.
And for the first time that night, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to smirk or swear. Because he liked it. He liked that you were looking. He liked knowing that, no matter how much you fought him, no matter how much you denied it—there was something there.
But then, you looked away. Like it hadn’t meant anything. Like he didn’t mean anything.
And something twisted deep in his chest, hot and sour. So, naturally, he did what he always did. He let his mouth run before his brain could catch up. "But don’t worry," he said, voice light, almost lazy, but aimed with precision. "I don’t care either way. After all, like you said… I’m just your coworker."
The words landed exactly how he intended. He saw it—the way your shoulders tensed, the way your lips pressed together. The way something flickered in your eyes, so fast that if he blinked, he might’ve missed it.
Then he smirked. Just a flash of teeth, just enough to make your stomach twist.
And before he could second-guess himself, before he could let the alcohol-fueled honesty catch up to him, he turned on his heel and walked off, leaving you standing there, heart pounding, head spinning, caught between wanting to kill him and—
No. You weren’t even gonna finish that thought.
You let out a slow, frustrated breath, running a hand through your hair. You needed to get out of your own head. You needed a drink. And after that, you needed Yunjin.
The party was still buzzing when you stepped back inside, the room warm and crowded, laughter spilling over the music. You spotted her near the bar, leaning against the counter, drink in hand, mid-conversation with some guy you didn’t recognize. You marched straight up to her, grabbing her wrist.
“I need to talk to you.” Yunjin barely had time to react before you were pulling her away from the noise, past groups of people, through the doorway leading to one of the quieter lounge areas.
Once inside, she gave you a look, raising an eyebrow as she took a slow sip of her drink. “Damn. No ‘hey, how are you?’ Not even a ‘you look great tonight, Yunjin’?”
You groaned, dragging a hand down your face. “Not now.”
She studied you, then smirked knowingly. “This is about Beomgyu, isn’t it?”
You stiffened. “No.”
“Uh-huh,” she said, completely unconvinced. “Go on…”
You exhaled sharply, slumping onto the couch, rubbing your temples. “I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.”
Yunjin sat beside you, kicking off her heels, posture casual. “Alright, let’s hear it.”
You hesitated, staring at the floor, feeling strangely vulnerable all of a sudden. It took a few seconds before you found your voice. “I—” You stopped, frowning. “I don’t even know what I feel right now. I’m just… frustrated.”
She hummed. “At him?”
“At everything,” you admitted. “At this whole fucking project. At the way he gets under my skin so easily. At the fact that—” You cut yourself off, clenching your jaw.
Yunjin, sharp as ever, caught it immediately. “At the fact that what?”
You hesitated, gripping the edge of your seat. “I want his approval.” The words came out quiet. Frustrated. “I don’t know why. I just—I hate how much I care about what he thinks. Every time we work on something, I catch myself waiting to see how he reacts. Like, I tell myself it doesn’t matter, that I don’t need him to validate me, but then—” You exhaled sharply, shaking your head. “But then he does. And it fucks with me.”
Yunjin listened, her expression unreadable. “Do you want his approval?” she asked. “Or do you want him?”
Your head snapped toward her. “What?”
She shrugged, completely unfazed. “I mean, you’re so worked up over him, and yeah, some of it is because of work, but…” She tilted her head, giving you a look. “Is that all it is?”
Your stomach twisted. “Yes,” you said immediately. Yunjin just stared at you, unimpressed. You crossed your arms. “It is.”
Silence. Then she smirked, slow and knowing. “Liar.”
You groaned, shoving your face into your hands. “Oh my god, shut up.”
She laughed, nudging your foot with hers. “I mean, come on. This whole thing screams unresolved tension. You two have been circling each other for months, pretending you’re just rivals when clearly there’s more to it.”
You lifted your head, glaring. “There isn’t.”
“Okay,” she said, amused. “So if he kissed you tomorrow, you wouldn’t think about it for the rest of your life?”
Your brain short-circuited so violently that you actually choked on air. “What—”
Yunjin grinned. “Exactly.”
You scowled, but the damage was done. The thought was already planted in your head, unshakable. Beomgyu, close. Beomgyu, leaning in. Beomgyu, looking at you with that stupid, unreadable expression of his before—
Nope. You refused to entertain this. You grabbed her drink, downing the rest of it in one go, ignoring the way she laughed at you. “I hate you,” you muttered.
“No, you don’t,” she teased. “But you do have a thing for Beomgyu.”
“I don’t.”
“You do.”
“Shut up.”
“Denial isn’t a good look on you, babe.”
You groaned, sinking further into the couch, your mind an absolute mess. Because no matter how much you wanted to deny it, Yunjin wasn’t completely wrong.
The music pulsed through the party, deep bass reverberating in your chest as you let yourself sink into the moment. The weight of the conversation with Yunjin still lingered in the back of your mind, but you shoved it aside, focusing on your friends instead—on the warmth of Yeonjun’s arm slung over your shoulder as he dramatically belted the lyrics to whatever song was playing, on the way Taehyun shook his head at him, on Hueningkai laughing so hard at something that he nearly dropped his drink. You let yourself get lost in it.
And then, eventually, the night began to wind down. People started leaving in waves, slipping out the doors in pairs or groups, laughter and goodbyes trailing after them. Your own friends were still lingering, but you were exhausted, drained from the long week, from the constant push and pull inside your head.
You needed sleep. You told them as much, earning dramatic protests from Yeonjun that didn't want to leave with you, a teasing “boring” from Yunjin, and an understanding nod from Taehyun. Hueningkai just patted your shoulder. "Get home safe," he said, voice warm.
Near the entrance, just a few feet away, Beomgyu stood against the wall, shoulders tense, arms crossed over his chest. He wasn’t talking to anyone, wasn’t laughing, wasn’t even pretending to enjoy himself. He was just there, like he had been standing in that same spot for too long, stewing in whatever storm was brewing behind his unreadable expression.
And he was looking at you. Even in the dim lighting, even from across the room, you could feel the weight of it—heavy, unwavering, pressing against your skin like static before a thunderstorm. There was something sharp in his gaze, something unsettled. Irritated. His jaw was tight, his fingers flexing slightly against his bicep, like he was holding something back. But from what? From you?
The noise of the party faded into the background, drowned out by the heavy thrum of your own heartbeat. You didn’t know why you were still standing there. You didn’t know why the sight of him like this made something twist sharply in your stomach, something restless, something uneasy.
You exhaled sharply, breaking the moment before it could turn into something you weren’t ready to name. Without another glance, you turned on your heel and walked out of the party.
You didn’t know what you felt.
But whatever it was, you hated it.
Just like you thought you hated Beomgyu.
You woke up feeling like absolute shit.
The kind of headache that pounded behind your eyes, the kind of dryness in your throat that made you regret every decision from the night before. You groaned, burying your face in the pillow, willing the pain to go away.
It didn’t. Of course it didn’t.
Memories from last night filtered into your mind slowly, fragmented, like puzzle pieces that didn’t quite fit together at first. You remembered the warmth of the alcohol in your veins, the steady bass of the music vibrating through your chest, the feeling of actually having fun for once—until you saw him.
Beomgyu.
You squeezed your eyes shut, as if that could make the memory disappear.
Beomgyu, drunk and loose-limbed, flashing you that easy, lazy grin that made your stomach flip before you could even process why. Beomgyu being nice, too nice, his words softer than usual, his teasing edged with something warmer.
And then, just as quickly as it came, it was gone. The shift. The way his smile dimmed when he saw you talking to Yunho. The way his fingers curled slightly around his drink, his jaw tightening just enough for you to notice. The way his gaze darkened, cold and distant again.
And right before he walked away, he had turned to you with that unreadable look in his eyes, that frustrating mix of amusement and distance, and had said— "After all, like you said… I’m just your coworker."
Your stomach twisted. You threw the blanket off you, forcing yourself to sit up, because if you laid here any longer, you were going to start throwing things.
The apartment was dead silent, except for the faint sound of someone snoring in the living room. You got up carefully, wincing at the headache that pulsed through your skull, and padded out of your room. Yeonjun was passed out on the couch, one leg hanging off the side, his face smushed into a pillow. You sighed, grabbing the nearest blanket and draping it over him.
Then, as you turned toward the kitchen, you nearly tripped over two bodies sprawled out on the floor. Hueningkai and Taehyun. Both dead asleep, Kai using a hoodie as a pillow, Taehyun curled up in the most uncomfortable-looking position you had ever seen.
You stared at them for a long moment, then sighed again, rubbing at your temples. You needed coffee. You needed out of this apartment. That's why you decided to grab coffee somewhere else.
It was still too early for the world to feel real. The streets were quiet, the sky dull with that soft, overcast light that only came on hungover Sundays. You wrapped your jacket tighter around yourself as you pushed through the doors of the coffeeshop, craving caffeine more than you had ever craved anything in your life.
You were so focused on getting to the counter that you didn’t even notice him at first.
"So we really had the same idea, huh?" You blinked, turning toward the voice. Soobin was sitting at a corner table, hoodie pulled up over his messy hair, looking just as wrecked as you felt. His iced coffee sat half-finished in front of him, condensation dripping down the sides.
You stared. "Holy shit. You look like hell."
He scoffed. "Thanks. You’re glowing this morning."
You snorted, finally ordering your drink before sliding into the seat across from him. "Didn’t expect to see you here."
Soobin hummed. "Didn’t expect to be here. But I woke up with a headache from hell and figured coffee might bring me back to life."
"Same." You took a slow sip of your drink, wincing as the cold hit your stomach. "Last night was… a lot."
Soobin huffed a quiet laugh. "Yeah. Some more than others."
You narrowed your eyes. "What’s that supposed to mean?"
He just smirked, shaking his head. "Nothing. Just… Beomgyu was in rare form last night."
You stiffened slightly. If Soobin noticed, he didn’t mention it. "That drunk?" you asked, voice carefully neutral.
"Drunk enough to be nice," Soobin mused. "Which, you know, is when you should be really concerned." You huffed a laugh, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. Soobin watched you for a moment, something thoughtful in his expression. "You know," he said eventually, stirring his drink with the straw, "he’s not as much of an asshole as he tries to be."
You raised an eyebrow. "Could’ve fooled me."
Soobin chuckled. "Yeah, he’s good at that. But—" He tilted his head slightly, studying you. "—he respects you."
You hesitated. It wasn’t that you didn’t believe that. You knew Beomgyu took you seriously, he wouldn’t compete so hard with you if he didn’t. But respect wasn’t the word that had been echoing in your head since last night.
Soobin leaned back in his chair. "And maybe he likes your work a little too much."
Your heart skipped, just once, just enough for you to feel stupid. You forced out a scoff, shaking your head. "Right. Sure. That’s why he spent half of the night treating me like shit."
Soobin’s smirk barely twitched. "I never said he handles it well."
You stared at him, trying to figure out if he was messing with you. But there was nothing teasing in his gaze, just knowing amusement, like he had already seen how this story played out before you even knew what page you were on.
You hated that. You hated that something about it made your stomach twist.
So, you stood up, grabbing your order. "I need to go before you start giving me life advice."
Soobin grinned, unfazed. "See you Monday, then?"
"Yeah, yeah," you muttered, already heading for the door.
But even as you stepped out into the cold air, the caffeine still not fully kicking in, Soobin’s words stuck with you. Maybe he likes your work a little too much. Whatever that meant, you weren’t sure if you wanted to know.
The walk back to your apartment was slow, the cool morning air doing little to clear the fog still lingering in your head. The coffeeshop bag swung gently at your side, filled with coffee and a few pastries, not because you were feeling particularly generous, but because you knew the three idiots waiting for you would need it just as much as you did.
When you finally pushed the door open, the apartment was still a disaster.
Yeonjun was awake now, sprawled across the couch in the same position you had left him in, scrolling through his phone with half-lidded eyes. Taehyun and Hueningkai were still on the floor, looking like they had barely moved.
You let the door shut behind you with a soft thud, and all three of them flinched.
"Jesus," Yeonjun muttered, rubbing his face. "Not so loud."
You rolled your eyes, tossing the bag onto the coffee table. "Brought coffee. If any of you die, it’s not my fault."
Hueningkai groaned, blindly reaching for the bag without sitting up. "You’re an angel. A mean one, but an angel."
Taehyun sat up with effort, running a hand through his already-messy hair. "Where’d you go?"
"Coffeeshop," you said simply, grabbing your own cup before sitting on the arm of the couch. "Needed air."
Yeonjun stretched his arms above his head, then let them drop dramatically. "Did we ever figure out what happened to Yunjin?"
"Yeah," Taehyun answered, taking a sip of his drink. "We got her home safe. She passed out halfway there."
"Typical," Yeonjun muttered, shaking his head.
Hueningkai yawned. "We were too drunk to go back to our own places, so we crashed here. Hope you don’t mind."
You shrugged. "I figured. You were taking up half my floor." You shook your head before speaking again. "Ran into Soobin there, in the coffeeshop."
That got their attention. Hueningkai snorted. "Damn, everyone had the same idea."
"Yeah," you mused, stirring your straw through your drink. "He looked just as bad as me. Maybe worse."
Yeonjun hummed. "He drank a lot last night."
"Yeah," you agreed, then took a slow sip of coffee before adding casually, "But he said Beomgyu was worse." You expected some reaction. A laugh, a sarcastic remark, maybe even an exaggerated groan. What you didn’t expect was the subtle way Yeonjun and Taehyun exchanged glances. You frowned. "What?"
Yeonjun exhaled, setting his drink down. "Nothing—just…" He hesitated before continuing, "after you left, Beomgyu and Yunho got into it."
You blinked. "What?"
Hueningkai nodded, chewing slowly. "Yeah. Not, like, a full fight or anything. But they were arguing. And it wasn’t friendly."
You sat up slightly. "Over what?"
Yeonjun shrugged. "No clue. Heeseung and I stepped in before it got worse, but they were both pissed."
Your mind raced, replaying the night. Yunho had been fine when you left, normal, flirty, acting like he always did. And Beomgyu? Beomgyu had been weird. The shift had been so sudden, one second he was being nice, playful, softer than usual. The next, cold, distant. And now, apparently, he had also picked a fight with Yunho. None of it made sense.
You drummed your fingers against your cup. "What did Yunho even say?"
Taehyun shook his head. "Dunno. But whatever it was, Beomgyu hated it."
You scoffed lightly. "So what? He was already pissed at me."
"Was he?" Yeonjun asked, raising an eyebrow.
You frowned, opening your mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Because, honestly? You didn’t know. He had been acting off all week, distant and unreadable. And then last night, he was the opposite, warm, teasing, close. And then, again, the shift, cold. Your head hurt just thinking about it.
"I don’t care," you muttered, standing up and stretching. "I’m taking a shower. If you guys are still here when I’m done, I’m kicking you out."
Taehyun smirked. "Love you too."
You rolled your eyes, but as you walked toward your room, the weight of Yeonjun’s words lingered. Whatever it was, it clearly got under Beomgyu’s skin. But why did that matter? And why the hell did you care?
The car ride to work on Monday was quiet, but not in a peaceful way.
Yeonjun was dropping you off like usual, his music playing softly in the background, but you weren’t really listening. Your thoughts were elsewhere, circling, looping, pulling you into an endless spiral of what the hell is going on with you and Beomgyu.
You had spent the entire Sunday trying not to think about him.
Trying not to think about the way he had been so warm, so teasing, so himself, until he wasn’t. Trying not to think about Yunho, about their argument, about the way Beomgyu looked at you when you left.
And yet, here you were, staring out the car window, still thinking about it. Because now you had to see him again. And you had no idea which version of Beomgyu you were going to get. The smug, infuriating one who lived to push your buttons? The cold, distant one who had barely acknowledged you all week? Or the version from the party, the one who looked at you like he knew exactly what he was doing to your head?
Which was exactly why you didn’t want to talk about this. Because if you said it out loud, then it would feel real. Instead, you just turned back toward the window, watching as the HYBE building came into view.
You made it to your studio without seeing Beomgyu. Thank god.
You hadn’t even realized you had been holding your breath until you shut the door behind you, exhaling slowly. The last thing you wanted was to run into Beomgyu in some awkward hallway moment, trying to pretend like everything was fine when clearly nothing was.
So you did what you did best. You threw yourself into work.
The hours slipped by, your fingers moving almost mechanically over your keyboard, your mind hyper-focused on mixing, arranging, tweaking. It was easier this way, easier to pretend that nothing had changed, that your work was all that mattered.
You didn’t see Beomgyu once. Not in the hallway, not in the break room, not even in the usual spaces where he always seemed to be. Maybe he was avoiding you too. You tried not to care. Tried not to think about it.
But then, just as the day was winding down, just as you were finally about to pack up and go home, there was a knock at your door.
You frowned, pushing your chair back. "Come in."
The door swung open, and standing there, looking as serious as ever, was Baekhyun. "Hey," he said, stepping inside. "Got a minute?"
You straightened slightly, your pulse kicking up for no reason at all. "Uh… yeah, of course."
Baekhyun shut the door behind him before turning to face you. His expression was unreadable, calm, neutral, but with a weight behind his eyes that made your stomach churn. You had a bad feeling about this.
"Listen," he started, crossing his arms. "I wanted to tell you this before you heard it from someone else."
You swallowed. "O…kay?"
Baekhyun exhaled, then said, "Beomgyu dropped out of the project."
The words didn’t register at first. You just blinked at him, waiting for him to say something else. But he didn’t. Because that was it.
You sat up straighter, confusion flashing across your face. "What?"
"He asked to be reassigned," Baekhyun clarified. "You’re the sole producer now."
Your stomach dropped. "He what?"
Baekhyun sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don’t know what happened, but it wasn’t about work. His excuse was weak as hell. He just said he ‘wasn’t the right fit for the project’ and left it at that."
You stared at him, your brain struggling to process. Beomgyu, who never backed down from anything, had quit? Beomgyu, who had spent the last few weeks going head-to-head with you, challenging you, pushing you, had walked away?
Just like that? Your pulse roared in your ears. "Why?" you demanded.
Baekhyun shook his head. "I have no idea. And honestly, I don’t have time to figure it out. The album still needs to get done, and now it’s all on you."
You barely heard him. Because all you could think about was him.
The way he had been acting all week. The way he had been acting at the party. The argument with Yunho. The distance. The sudden shift. And now this.
Beomgyu didn’t just quit. Not unless there was a reason. But what the hell was it?
Baekhyun sighed, checking his watch. "Look, I have to run, but if you need anything, let me know."
You nodded stiffly, barely registering as he left the room, shutting the door behind him. And then you were alone. Alone with the news. Alone with the confusion. Alone with the sharp, twisting feeling in your chest that you refused to call anything other than frustration.
Your brain spiraled. Your hands clenched into fists against your desk, your pulse hammering in your ears. Beomgyu quit? Just like that? Without saying a word to you? Without even giving a proper reason?
It made no sense. None of it made sense. You sat there, staring blankly at your screen, but you weren’t processing anything. All you could think about was him.
You exhaled sharply, pushing back from your desk. You weren’t going to sit here and let your thoughts drive you insane. If he wasn’t going to come to you, then fine. You’d go to him.
The building was nearly empty. Most people had already gone home, leaving only a few scattered producers and trainees still working. The silence felt heavier somehow, like even the air itself knew something was wrong.
You walked straight to his studio first. Locked. No lights inside. Empty.
Your jaw tightened as you turned away, moving faster now. Fine. Maybe he was in the break room.
You checked there next, stepping inside and scanning the area. Nothing. Not even a half-finished cup of coffee or an abandoned snack, things that always seemed to be left behind whenever Beomgyu was around.
Your fingers twitched at your sides. You were already walking before you had fully decided to, heading down the hallway toward the smoking area outside. You shoved the door open, stepping onto the dimly lit balcony. The cold air bit at your skin, but you barely noticed. Because the space was completely empty. He wasn’t here.
You let out a frustrated breath, running a hand through your hair. Where the hell was he?
After a few more seconds of standing there uselessly, you turned back around, forcing yourself to accept that you weren’t going to find him tonight. Maybe he had already gone home. Maybe he had been home this whole time, avoiding everything and everyone. Maybe you were wasting your energy trying to chase after someone who clearly didn’t want to be found.
Defeat sat heavy in your chest as you trudged back toward your studio, exhaustion sinking into your bones now that the adrenaline had faded. You should just let it go. Just let him go.
But when you stepped inside your studio—
You froze. Because there he was.
Sitting in your chair, arms resting on the desk, staring at you like he had been waiting. Like he had known you’d come looking. He had that look on his face. That stupid, pathetic, guilty expression—like a kicked dog, like he knew exactly what he had done, like he was bracing himself for the storm he knew was coming.
You shut the door behind you harder than necessary, your heartbeat roaring in your ears. Beomgyu swallowed, his hands tightening slightly where they rested on the desk.
"Listen—"
"Listen what?" Your voice snapped through the air, sharper than you even intended, but you didn’t care. Because after everything, this was what you got? A half-hearted listen? No. Not happening. You crossed your arms, glaring at him. "Go on, Beomgyu. I’d love to hear it."
The words hit the air like a match against gasoline. Beomgyu exhaled sharply, rubbing his palms against his jeans before leaning forward, elbows on his knees. His gaze flickered up to meet yours, hesitant, cautious. "I just—" He ran a hand through his hair, frustration leaking into his voice. "It wasn’t working."
"What wasn’t working?" you demanded. "Because from where I’m standing, the only thing that wasn’t working was you deciding to disappear without saying a damn word to me—"
"Would you just let me talk?" Beomgyu snapped, his voice cutting through yours.
You froze. He never raised his voice at you. Not like this. Not with something heavy sitting behind it, something too close to something real. You set your jaw, arms tightening over your chest. "Fine. Talk."
He let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head. "You think I wanted to leave the project?"
You blinked. "You literally did."
"Yeah," he snapped. "And maybe if you weren’t so stuck in your own head all the time, you’d realize why."
Your stomach twisted. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Beomgyu scoffed, pushing himself up from your chair. "It means," he said, voice low, controlled, "that I warned you about people you let in in your life, and you didn’t listen."
And there it was. The shift. The argument that had started as one thing—the project, his sudden absence, your frustration, suddenly becoming something else. Your hands clenched at your sides. "This is about Seungcheol?!"
He let out a sharp laugh, running his tongue over his teeth. "Wow. Look at that. You do listen sometimes."
You took a step closer. "And what exactly is your problem with him?"
Beomgyu’s jaw ticked. "My problem," he muttered, "is that you’re so damn naive sometimes—"
"Excuse me?"
"You think everyone is exactly what they show you," he continued, voice rising slightly. "You think people don’t have their own reasons for the things they do, for why they pay attention to you—"
You felt something sharp crawl up your throat, something dangerously close to real anger. "And why the fuck does that matter to you?"
Beomgyu’s breath hitched, just for a second, just enough for you to see it. And then, just as quickly, his face hardened again. "It doesn’t," he said flatly.
You let out a sharp, humorless laugh. "Right. Got it. So, you threw away an entire project, left me with all the fucking work, because you suddenly don’t care?"
Beomgyu’s hands curled into fists. "I left because I knew this was going to get messy."
"It’s already messy, Beomgyu!" you exploded. "You made it messy! I thought we were a team—I thought, for once, that maybe you weren’t just trying to be better than me, that maybe we actually worked well together, but no—of course not, because you had to fucking run the second it got complicated—"
"Are you even hearing yourself?" His voice was sharp, eyes blazing. "Do you really think I left because of the fucking project?"
You opened your mouth—then shut it. Because, no. You didn’t believe that. Not for a second. Because if this was just about work, then Beomgyu would’ve fought harder. He always fought harder.
Your breath was shallow now, your heart racing against your ribs. There was only a foot of space between you.
You could hear his breathing, sharp, uneven. You could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his fingers twitched at his sides like he was fighting the urge to do something. And you could feel it, how the air between you had shifted, thickened into something neither of you knew how to name.
This wasn’t just about work. This wasn’t just about Yunho, or Seungcheol. This wasn’t just about Saturday night. It was about everything. But neither of you were ready to say it. Neither of you knew how.
You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to keep your expression neutral. "Then why did you?"
His jaw clenched. "I told you—"
"No," you cut him off, stepping even closer, your anger outweighing your restraint now. "You didn’t. You keep talking in circles, Beomgyu, but you haven’t told me shit. You just keep—acting like I’m supposed to read your fucking mind."
Beomgyu exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through his hair. "Because you don’t get it!"
"Then make me get it!" you snapped.
His eyes flashed, dark and burning. Then, suddenly—
"You drive me insane."
The words hit the air before he could stop them, before you could process them, and for a second, the room froze. Your breath caught.
Beomgyu’s lips parted slightly, like he couldn’t believe he had actually said it out loud. His chest rose and fell unevenly, like he had been holding onto those words for too long, like they had just ripped their way out of him.
You felt your stomach twist, your skin heat, your pulse roar in your ears. Because he wasn’t looking at you with anger anymore. He was looking at you like you were something dangerous. Like you had the power to ruin him. Like you already had.
"Ever since we started this fucking project," he continued, voice rough, "I haven’t been able to think straight. I go home, and I still hear your voice in my head. I wake up, and I’m already wondering what kind of mood you’ll be in, if we’re gonna fight, if we’re gonna work, if—" He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. "It’s you. It’s always fucking you."
Your pulse slammed against your ribs. This, whatever this was, it had been bubbling under the surface for so long, hidden under sharp words and competition and a rivalry neither of you had ever actually needed.
"You fucking ran." Your voice was quieter now, but not softer.
Beomgyu’s brows pulled together. "I had to."
"No," you countered, stepping closer. "You wanted to. Because it was easier than—than whatever this is. Because you can’t handle anything you can’t control."
Beomgyu let out a sharp breath, tongue running over his teeth. "You think I’m the only one running?" You hesitated. That second of hesitation was all it took.
Because then, suddenly, Beomgyu’s fingers curled around your wrist, not pulling, not forcing, just grounding, and you felt the warmth of his skin burn into yours. "You tell me to stop running," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper now. "Then tell me to stay."
Your heart nearly stopped. The challenge in his tone, the weight behind it, felt like stepping off a ledge. You stared at him, your throat tight, your head light, your pulse a fucking mess. Because this wasn’t how things were supposed to go. This wasn’t the plan.
And yet, your fingers tightened slightly around his. Barely, just enough for him to feel it. Just enough for something inside him to snap.
You barely had time to process it before Beomgyu moved.
His hands found your face first, warm, calloused fingers cradling your jaw like he needed to hold you in place, like he was afraid you’d pull away before he could do what he had been holding back for too long.
The space between you disappeared, and then his lips were on yours.
The first press was firm, almost hesitant, like he wasn’t sure if you’d kiss him back, if this was something he was allowed to take. But then you gave in. A sharp inhale, a slight tilt of your head, the way your fingers fisted into his hoodie, yanking him closer. That was all he needed. Because once Beomgyu realized you weren’t stopping him, that you weren’t pushing him away, he lost it.
The kiss got harder, deeper, his lips parting against yours as his hands slid from your jaw to your waist, fingers gripping your sides like he was pissed off—at you, at himself, at the entire world for making him wait this long.
You made a sound against his mouth, but it wasn’t protest. It was frustration, relief, disbelief that this was even happening. Because fuck, he kissed like this? Hot and desperate and messy, like he had been waiting for this for longer than even he was willing to admit. Like he had no idea where to put his hands because he wanted to touch you everywhere.
You felt his teeth graze your lower lip, just barely, just enough to make you gasp, and he took full advantage of it, deepening the kiss, pressing himself into you until your back hit the door behind you.
All you could process was him, his lips, his warmth, the way one of his hands slid up, fingers curling around the back of your neck, angling your head so he could kiss you even deeper, even dirtier. Your fingers dug into his hoodie, tugging him forward, not willing to let him have all the control. He groaned at that.
A soft, frustrated sound that sent a thrill through your body, because you had never heard him sound like that before, had never imagined that you could pull that sound from him. And then, just when the heat between you had grown unbearable, just when his hands started to wander, gripping at your waist like he wanted to pin you there forever—
You both realized what was happening. Realized that this was you and him. That this was real. That this wasn’t something either of you could take back. So you pulled away first. Barely, just a few inches. Just enough to catch your breath. Beomgyu didn’t move.
His forehead pressed against yours, his breath warm and uneven against your lips, his hands still gripping your waist like he couldn’t let go. Your chest heaved, heart hammering so loudly you swore he could hear it. Neither of you spoke. Neither of you could. Because whatever line had been there before? You had just obliterated it.
His breath was uneven, and the silence between you both stretched longer than either of you had anticipated. The air in the studio felt thick now, charged with something neither of you quite knew how to handle.
Finally, you broke the silence. Your voice came out rough but firm as you looked at him. "You… you can’t just walk away."
Beomgyu’s hand twitched at your waist, his grip still there, like he was trying to hold onto something real in the middle of all the chaos between you two. His lips parted, but he hesitated, like he wasn’t sure what to say next.
"You want me to stay?" he asked, his voice quieter now, more vulnerable than you expected. "You really want me to stay?"
You swallowed hard, a knot forming in your throat. It wasn’t that simple. But then again, it was. "I do," you said, your words coming out with an honesty you couldn’t take back.
The air seemed to crackle around you both, and Beomgyu finally let go of his tight grip around your waist, but not completely. He just let his hands fall to your sides, his touch lingering as though he was afraid of pushing too far.
And there it was. The line had been crossed. The weight of your words hung between you, settling like something inevitable. Neither of you moved, but there was something different now, something undeniable that shifted in the space you shared.
Beomgyu’s eyes softened for the first time, he leaned in again, his hand gently cupping your cheek this time, as though he was finally allowing himself to believe that this wasn’t just another fleeting moment, another mistake. His touch lingered for a moment longer, his hand soft on your cheek as though he were afraid that if he moved too quickly, everything would fall apart. His eyes searched yours, the intensity of the moment hanging between you, thick with unspoken words. His lips parted slightly, as though he was going to say something, but the words seemed to get stuck in his throat.
For a long moment, all that was heard was the sound of your breaths, his shaky, yours quick. But then, just as quickly as he had leaned in, Beomgyu pulled back.
The change was immediate. His hand dropped from your cheek, and there was a flicker of something in his eyes, something almost… regretful. You could feel the tension in his body shift, a quiet storm brewing in him that you couldn’t quite understand.
"Beomgyu…" you started, but before you could get another word out, he turned away from you.
Without a word, he walked toward the door. Your chest tightened, confusion and frustration flooding your senses as you watched him move. You didn’t know whether to call out, to beg him to stay, or to just let him go and pretend that this whole mess hadn’t happened. But no matter what, you felt a pit in your stomach, a weight you couldn’t shake off.
Beomgyu reached for the handle, his back still to you, and for a brief second, you thought maybe he would say something—anything. Maybe he would explain himself, finally tell you what was going through his head. But instead, he opened the door. The sound of the hinges creaking was like a cruel reminder of what was happening.
He stepped outside, and for a heartbeat, the door remained open, leaving you to watch him through the gap. His expression was unreadable, his body stiff. Then, without looking back, he closed the door behind him, the sound echoing through the room like the finality of everything.
And just like that, you were left alone.
Your heart pounded in your chest as you sat down, staring at the door, still hearing the faint click of it locking in your mind. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t breathe. It felt as though the world had tilted on its axis, leaving you floating in the aftermath, unsure of what had just happened. What had changed? Why did it feel like you were left with nothing?
Everything was so… messy. You had never felt so raw, so exposed, and yet, Beomgyu had walked away without a single word. The silence that filled the room now was deafening. You wanted to scream, to shout, to demand answers, but all you could do was sit there, trying to make sense of it all.
Had you been wrong to ask him to stay? Did you push him too far, too soon? Or was this all just another part of that complicated dance you two had been doing from the very start?
You didn’t know. All you knew was that the studio felt emptier now, quieter. And Beomgyu… Beomgyu had walked away. The silence in the studio was suffocating.
You sat there, unmoving, eyes still locked on the door even though Beomgyu was long gone. Your hands were trembling in your lap. The lump in your throat tightened, and before you could stop it, a sharp, broken breath escaped you. Until the tears spilled over, hot and relentless, blurring your vision and burning your cheeks.
You sucked in a shaky breath, gripping the edge of your desk like it was the only thing keeping you grounded. You never cried over shit like this. Not over work. Not over him. You hated this. You hated feeling like this.
You blinked rapidly, wiping at your face with the sleeve of your hoodie, but the tears wouldn’t stop. Your breath came out in uneven gasps, the weight in your chest growing heavier by the second.
You needed to leave. Your fingers scrambled for your phone, your vision still blurred with tears as you unlocked it and pulled up your messages. You barely even thought before typing.
[you]: can you pick me up
The response came within seconds.
[yeonjun]: on my way. stay there.
You let out a shaky breath, gripping your phone like it was the only thing keeping you from completely unraveling.
The second you slid into Yeonjun’s car, the dam broke.
The moment the door shut behind you, the sobs you had barely been holding in ripped out of you, raw and unfiltered, shaking your entire body.
Yeonjun didn’t hesitate. Didn’t ask any questions. Didn’t push. He just reached across the console, one hand on your back, grounding you. "Hey, hey, hey," he murmured, his voice low and calm as he rubbed small circles. "I got you, okay? Just breathe."
You shook your head violently, pressing your palms into your eyes, trying, and failing, to stop crying. "I—I don’t—" A sharp inhale, a choked-out sob. "I don’t even know why I’m crying."
Yeonjun let out a soft breath, like he already knew that was a lie. You sucked in another shaky breath, leaning your head back against the seat, staring up at the roof of the car. For a few minutes, neither of you spoke. Yeonjun just drove.
The car was quiet, save for the steady hum of the engine and the occasional sound of your sniffles as you tried to get your breathing under control. Yeonjun didn’t say anything right away. He didn’t press, didn’t demand answers. He just waited and held your hand while he drove. Slow, steady, like he had done this a hundred times before. Like he knew you needed the silence before you could find the words.
And when you finally did, your voice came out small. Tired. "He quit the project." Yeonjun’s grip on the wheel tightened slightly, but he stayed quiet, letting you continue. "I don’t—I don’t get it," you said, shaking your head as you wiped at your eyes with your sleeve. "I was working all day, and then Baekhyun came in and just dropped it on me like it was nothing. Like it was some casual decision Beomgyu made, and now I’m just supposed to deal with it—"
Yeonjun exhaled sharply. "Wait. He just left? No warning? No explanation?"
You let out a shaky breath. "Nothing. I—I went looking for him, but he wasn’t anywhere. Then when I finally gave up and went back to my studio, he was just there, like he had been waiting for me or something." Yeonjun frowned, but he didn’t interrupt. "And I was so fucking mad," you admitted, voice thick with frustration. "I just—I don’t understand him. He always has to push my buttons, always has to act like he doesn’t care about anything, but then he turns around and does this. Like it means something, but then he—he just—"
Your breath hitched. You squeezed your eyes shut, your chest aching. "And then he kissed me," you whispered.
Silence. Yeonjun inhaled slowly. "What?"
Your hands clenched in your lap. "I don’t even know how it happened. We were yelling at each other, and it just—it happened."
Yeonjun didn’t respond right away. His fingers flexed around the steering wheel, his brows furrowing as he processed what you just said. "And then what?" he asked, quieter now.
Your throat tightened. "And then… he left."
Yeonjun let out a slow, controlled breath. "What a dick." You let out a weak, wet laugh, shaking your head. "Yeah, well, I mean it." He tightened his grip on the wheel before exhaling, forcing himself to soften.
Then, carefully, he reached over, his fingers curling around your knee, grounding you. "Hey." You sniffled, not looking at him. Yeonjun’s voice was softer this time. "Did it mean something to you?"
Your breath caught. Because, fuck. It did. It did, and you hated that. You let out a shaky exhale, running a hand over your face. "I don’t know," you lied.
Yeonjun hummed like he didn’t believe you for a second. He didn’t push, though. Instead, his thumb rubbed slow, calming circles into your knee. "Look, Y/N… I don’t think Beomgyu ran because he didn’t care. I think he ran because he does."
Your chest ached. "Then why not just fucking say that?"
Yeonjun sighed, turning onto your street. "Because people are dumb. Men are dumb. And Beomgyu’s spent years convincing himself that he doesn’t care about anything. You think he’s just gonna wake up one day and admit that he cares about you?" Your breath stilled. Yeonjun just shook his head. "He’s an idiot. That’s all it is."
You let out a weak laugh, leaning your head against the window. "Yeah," you murmured. "That makes two of us."
Yeonjun pulled into your apartment complex, shifting into park before turning to you. He didn’t say anything for a second, just watched you carefully, his eyes warm and steady. Then, gently, he reached out, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "You’re not an idiot," he murmured. "You just care too much, and you’re scared."
You scoffed. "No shit."
You swallowed hard, your throat tight. He let that sit for a second before shaking his head. "You know what I think?" Yeonjun hummed, thoughtful. "I think he’s scared, too."
You stiffened slightly. "He didn’t seem scared when he left me standing there."
"Yeah?" Yeonjun mused. "Then why did he leave at all?"
You frowned, glancing at him. "What do you mean?"
Yeonjun sighed. "Think about it. If Beomgyu was just messing around, if this was just another game to him—he wouldn’t have left. He would’ve stayed. Would’ve laughed it off, made some cocky comment, pretended like it meant nothing." Your stomach twisted. Yeonjun turned toward you, his expression softer now. "But he didn’t, Y/N. He ran."
You let that sink in. Because maybe Yeonjun had a point. Maybe Beomgyu leaving wasn’t just some asshole move. Maybe he had been just as freaked out as you. The thought made your chest tighten all over again.
Yeonjun reached over, squeezing your hand once before letting go. "You don’t have to figure it all out right now," he murmured. He gave you a small smile before reaching over, pulling you into a hug. "You’re gonna be okay," he murmured against your hair. "I promise."
You let out a shaky breath, gripping onto him a little tighter. You weren’t sure if you believed him. But for now, you needed to. You sighed, leaning back against the seat, exhausted. But even as Yeonjun turned off the car, even as you sat there, trying to steady yourself, one thought wouldn’t leave your mind.
Beomgyu had run. But what the hell was he running from?
The question rattled in your mind, looping over and over as you stepped into your apartment, your limbs heavy with exhaustion.
You barely remembered saying goodnight to Yeonjun. You barely even registered the moment you locked yourself in the bathroom, turning on the shower and stepping under the scalding water.
Steam filled the space around you, thick and hazy, but it did nothing to quiet the storm in your chest. You tilted your head back, letting the water soak through your hair, tracing down the curve of your spine. Your breathing was still uneven, your mind still too loud.
You were supposed to be fine. It wasn’t a big deal. So what if he had kissed you? So what if he had left? You and Beomgyu had been dancing around each other for years—this was just another part of the cycle.
Right?
You squeezed your eyes shut, inhaling deeply through your nose. Then why does it feel different this time? Your fingers curled into fists.
You could still feel his hands on your waist, his breath against your lips. Could still see the flicker of hesitation in his eyes right before he pulled away. Could still hear the sound of the door clicking shut as he left.
You sucked in a sharp breath, forcing yourself to push the memory away. You weren’t going to do this. You weren’t going to sit here, overthinking every second, every glance, every fucking thing about Beomgyu.
So instead, you stayed under the water until your skin was raw, until the ache in your chest dulled into something you could ignore.
And despite everything—despite the storm in your chest, despite the weight in your head—you managed to fall asleep. But you woke up feeling like your body was still stuck in yesterday.
Your limbs were sluggish, your mind groggy, and the second you remembered why, your stomach twisted unpleasantly. You groaned, dragging a pillow over your face, trying to will yourself back to sleep.
But outside your door, you could already hear Yeonjun moving around the kitchen. You forced yourself out of bed, padding into the living room to find him standing by the stove, frying eggs like he actually knew how to cook. You frowned. "What are you doing?"
Yeonjun glanced over his shoulder. "Making breakfast."
"You don’t cook," you pointed out.
"Yeah, well, desperate times." He nodded toward the table. "Sit."
You sighed but obeyed, rubbing at your temples as you slumped into a chair. A minute later, Yeonjun set a plate in front of you, eggs, toast, and a coffee. You blinked. "You’re really committing to this whole overbearing best friend thing, huh?"
Yeonjun smirked, plopping down across from you with his own plate. "You love it."
You rolled your eyes but took a bite of the eggs anyway. They were… passable. Yeonjun watched you carefully between bites, waiting. You sighed. "I will be fine, you know."
He hummed. "Yeah, I know." He took a sip of his coffee, then added, "But are you fine right now?" Your fingers tightened slightly around your fork. You didn’t answer. Yeonjun just sighed, reaching across the table to squeeze your wrist. "You don’t have to be fine yet, Y/N."
Your throat tightened. So instead of answering, you just nodded, pushing your food around your plate. Yeonjun didn’t push. Just let you sit there, existing, until you finally managed to eat something.
When it was time to leave, he drove you to work again, filling the silence with easy conversation, talking about his projects, making fun of bad drivers, anything to keep your mind off of what was waiting for you at HYBE.
But the second you stepped out of the car, the weight returned. The anxiety crept back into your bones. Because today, you had to see Beomgyu. And you had no idea what was going to happen.
You made it to your studio without running into him. You didn’t know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.
But instead of sitting there, drowning in your own thoughts, you pulled out your phone. Your fingers hovered over the screen for a moment before you typed.
[you]: taehyun, i need to talk to you
[taehyun]: About what?
[you]: just… when you have a second. come by my studio
[taehyun]: Be there soon.
You exhaled, setting your phone down. You didn’t know why you needed to talk to him. But right now, Taehyun felt like the only person who could give you some kind of clarity. And clarity was exactly what you needed.
It didn’t take long for Taehyun to show up. You barely had time to fully gather your thoughts before there was a soft knock at your door, and then he was stepping inside, hands in the pockets of his hoodie, head tilting slightly as he studied you.
"Alright," he said, shutting the door behind him. "What’s up?"
You opened your mouth, then closed it. Because now that he was actually here, you weren’t sure where to start. Did you tell him about Beomgyu quitting? The fight? The kiss? Did you tell him about the way your heart had completely fallen apart when Beomgyu walked out of that room?
You exhaled, rubbing your temples. "This is stupid."
Taehyun raised an eyebrow. "Well, now I definitely wanna hear it."
You shot him a dry look, but he just crossed his arms, waiting. So you told him. Everything.
How you found out that Beomgyu had quit. How you had gone looking for him. How he was already waiting for you when you got back to your studio. The argument and then… And then the kiss.
Taehyun listened carefully, barely reacting at first. Just nodding, humming occasionally, letting you spill everything you had been holding in since last night. And when you finally finished, slumping back into your chair with a deep breath, he exhaled slowly, shaking his head.
"Jesus Christ," he muttered. "You guys are exhausting."
You let out a short, humorless laugh. "Tell me about it."
Taehyun was quiet for a moment, thoughtful. "He’s an idiot," he said. You blinked. "He is," Taehyun repeated, sitting on the edge of your desk. "Beomgyu is… complicated. He’s impulsive, and reckless, and sometimes he doesn’t think before he acts. But he’s not bad, Y/N."
You frowned, shifting in your seat. "I never said he was bad—"
"You didn’t have to," Taehyun interrupted. "You’re pissed, and you should be. He left you with an entire project and just disappeared. That’s a dick move."
You scoffed. "Glad we agree on that."
"But," Taehyun continued, leveling you with a look, "you also know that if this was just about work, he wouldn’t have left."
You stiffened. Because, yeah. You did know that.
Taehyun sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Look… I’ve known Beomgyu for a long time. And I can tell you one thing for sure—he’s confused as hell about you." Your stomach twisted. "Beomgyu’s not used to… feeling things like this. You know him—he jokes, he messes around, he acts like nothing ever really matters to him. But this? You? This is probably the first time something has actually gotten to him in a way he doesn’t know how to handle."
You looked away, fingers tightening slightly around the edge of your desk. "He looked at me like…" You hesitated, searching for the right words. "Like he regretted it."
Taehyun hummed. "Maybe he did." Your heart sank. Taehyun must have noticed your expression, because he shook his head quickly. "No—not like that. Not in the I wish I never kissed her way. More like… Fuck, what did I just do?"
Your breath hitched. Taehyun leaned forward slightly, watching you carefully. "Y/N… if Beomgyu didn’t care, he wouldn’t have left. He wouldn’t have pulled away. He wouldn’t be acting like this at all."
You swallowed hard. "Then why didn’t he just say something?"
Taehyun sighed. "Because he’s a coward."
You blinked. "Wow. That’s blunt."
"Yeah, well." He shrugged. "Someone has to say it."
A short silence stretched between you, the weight of everything still settling in your chest. And then, Taehyun’s voice softened slightly. "I know you want to see him." You inhaled sharply, but before you could argue, he continued. "But you won’t," he said simply. "Not for a while, at least."
"What do you mean?"
Taehyun rubbed the back of his neck. "I overheard Baekhyun talking to some of the staff this morning. Beomgyu asked for a week off before getting reassigned to another project." Your stomach dropped. You opened your mouth, closed it, then opened it again. Taehyun hesitated. "He’s not ot gone. Just… off the grid for a bit."
You swallowed hard. A week. You had a week without him. A week to focus on work. A week to stop feeling like this. A week to—
To what? Forget about him? Pretend none of this ever happened? Pretend that the past twenty-four hours hadn’t completely flipped your world upside down?
You clenched your fists in your lap, nodding stiffly. "Okay."
Taehyun studied you for a moment. Then, finally, he sighed and reached out, squeezing your arm. "You’ll be okay," he murmured.
You let out a shaky breath, forcing a nod. "Yeah."
But as he walked out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts, one thing was clear. You weren’t sure if that was true.
The first day without Beomgyu was easier than you expected.
Maybe because you were still fueled by frustration. By anger. By the exhaustion of the past few days. It was easier to channel all of that into work, to drown out the silence with layers of sound, synths, drums, melodies, anything to keep your mind occupied.
You convinced yourself that you didn’t need him here. Didn’t need his input, his annoying commentary, his stupid smirk when he knew he was right about something. And for a little while, you almost believed it.
But then the second day came. And the third.
And by Wednesday, you realized just how much space Beomgyu used to take up, physically, mentally, emotionally. The studio felt different without him. Too quiet.
You had spent so long being annoyed by his presence, by the way he was always around, always making some offhand comment, always pushing your buttons just because he could. And now it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. Like the silence was mocking you. You tried to ignore it.
Tried to focus on the album, on the endless meetings with Baekhyun about tracklists, on your studio sessions with the Enhypen members.
Jake had mentioned that they were excited about the project. Jungwon had suggested a few ideas for the second track. Heeseung had even sat with you for over an hour, working through some of the melody transitions.
It was good. The work was getting done. Everything was moving forward. So why did it still feel like something was missing?
By Thursday, Yeonjun had stopped asking if you wanted to talk about it. At first, he had tried, little things, subtle attempts to get you to open up.
"You seem really focused on work this week," he had mused over dinner on Tuesday. "Trying to distract yourself?" You had rolled your eyes, shoving a bite of food into your mouth just to avoid answering.
By Wednesday, he had simply given you a long, knowing look before sighing. "Okay. I get it. You don’t want to talk about it."
And you didn’t. Because what was there to say? That you missed him? That you had caught yourself glancing at his empty chair during meetings? That every time you pulled up a demo, you could still hear his suggestions in the back of your mind? That you had started a dozen text messages, only to delete them before even finishing the first word? No. You weren’t going to do that.
You weren’t going to let Beomgyu live rent-free in your head while he was off doing whatever the hell he was doing.
So by Friday, you had convinced yourself that you were fine. That you were moving on. That you had finally, finally stopped thinking about him. At least, until you walked into your studio that morning.
And saw the letter sitting on your desk.
At first, you thought it was just another memo from Baekhyun. Or maybe some notes from one of the Enhypen members. But then you got closer. And you saw his handwriting.
For a moment, you just stood there, frozen in the doorway, staring at the folded piece of paper like it might disappear if you blinked. Then, cautiously, you stepped forward. Your fingers hesitated before reaching for it. The paper was slightly creased, as if he had folded and unfolded it multiple times before finally deciding to leave it here. No greeting. No explanation.
Just one simple sentence, scrawled in messy, familiar ink.
i think this fits for track 1
Your heart pounded in your chest as your eyes flicked down to the lyrics below. And the second you started reading, your breath caught.
Just the two of us, getting deeply moonstruck
Oh, you make me go crazy over you, you, baby
Let me hold you close, I want to feel you until the end of the night
Fly this night above the rising moon
Crazy over you, you, baby
We can take it slow
Moonstruck in ecstasy
Your fingers clenched around the edges of the paper. This wasn’t just a song suggestion. This wasn’t just another track for the album. This was Beomgyu, talking to you the only way he knew how. Your pulse roared in your ears.
Because, fuck. You weren’t stupid. You knew exactly what this meant. And now, you had no idea what the hell you were supposed to do about it.
You sat at your desk, gripping the paper so tightly it was a wonder it hadn’t torn yet. Your eyes kept flicking over the words, tracing the messy, slightly smudged ink of his handwriting. Moonstruck.
You read the lyrics again. And again. Each time, they felt heavier.
I'm so intoxicated, getting more and more into you, baby
What the fuck was he trying to say? You tried to rationalize it. Maybe he had written it before everything that happened. But that didn’t make sense, did it?
Your fingers curled into the fabric of your hoodie as your mind looped back to that night. The way he had kissed you. The way he had run. And now, instead of an explanation, instead of a conversation, he left this? A song?
You exhaled sharply, forcing yourself to push it aside. If Beomgyu wanted to talk in lyrics, fine. You would make sure they were heard.
The Enhypen members were already lounging around their practice room when you arrived. Sunghoon was sprawled on the couch, lazily scrolling through his phone. Jungwon and Jay were flipping through notes on the album’s concept. Jake was throwing a crumpled-up piece of paper at Sunoo, who swatted it away with an exaggerated groan.
The second you stepped in, Heeseung perked up. "Oh, hey, you’re here. What’s up?"
You inhaled deeply, clutching the paper in your hands. "We have a song."
That got their attention. Sunghoon sat up properly. Jay leaned forward, brows raising. Ni-ki, who had been half-asleep in the corner, immediately straightened, eyes flicking toward you.
You placed the lyrics down on the table. "It’s called Moonstruck," you said, keeping your voice steady. "Beomgyu wrote it."
A beat of silence. Jungwon blinked. "Wait. Beomgyu?"
You nodded stiffly. "Yeah."
Jake leaned in, scanning the paper. "When the hell did he even—?"
"I don’t know," you admitted, arms crossing over your chest. "But it’s good. And I think we should use it."
They didn’t argue. Instead, they took the next few minutes carefully analyzing the lyrics, murmuring about which parts fit their vocal tones best.
"Pre-chorus has to be Ni-ki and Sunghoon," Jay noted, nodding to himself. "Their voices will carry this section perfectly."
Ni-ki grinned. "I do sound good under moonlight."
Sunoo groaned. "God, shut up."
Jake chuckled, shaking his head. "The first verse has a nice flow. Maybe Heeeseung and Jay can split it?"
You nodded. "Yeah, that works."
As they discussed vocal distribution, you quietly worked on the arrangement, playing with some of the melodies on your laptop. And as much as you hated to admit it, the song was beautiful.
The harmonies, the depth, the longing in the lyrics—it all weaved together into something intoxicating. Something that felt like Beomgyu. And, more terrifyingly, something that felt like you and Beomgyu.
You poured yourself into it. Every ounce of frustration, every unanswered question, every lingering moment of that damn kiss, you put it all into the music. If Beomgyu wanted to communicate this way, then fine. You would answer him in the production.
By the time the first rough demo was put together, the entire room had shifted. The members listened intently, nodding along to the beat, already humming harmonies under their breath.
And when the final note played, Heeseung let out a low whistle. "Okay," he muttered. "That was… insane."
Jake leaned back against the couch, arms crossed. "This might be one of the strongest songs on the album."
Ni-ki grinned. "It’s sexy."
Jungwon rolled his eyes. "It’s romantic, you idiot."
Sunghoon smirked. "Both."
You stared at the screen, fingers still hovering over the controls, heart pounding in your chest. You had lost track of time, lost yourself in the production, in the process of turning Beomgyu’s words into something real.
Heeseung stretched his arms over his head, glancing over at you. "How the hell did this come together so fast?"
You hesitated. Then, before you could think too much about it, the words tumbled out. "Because Beomgyu wrote it."
The room fell quiet for a beat. You swallowed, suddenly feeling exposed under their stares. You ignored the pointed looks, turning back toward the screen.
You had done what you needed to do. You had taken Beomgyu’s song and made it something real. And yet, as you sat there, staring at the lyrics again, one thought lingered.
This was his way of talking to you. But when—if—you finally saw him again… Would he have anything else to say?
The weekend arrived quietly, slipping in like a breeze through an open window. For the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to exist outside of work, outside of the chaos, outside of the constant hum of him in the back of your mind.
You spent Saturday sprawled across the living room floor, limbs tangled with Yunjin’s as she attempted (and failed) to beat Hueningkai in a Mario Kart tournament.
"HOW is this fair?!" she screeched, gripping the controller like it personally offended her. "This little shit has been in first place for the entire race—"
"Skill issue," Hueningkai mused, barely sparing her a glance as he executed yet another flawless turn.
Taehyun cackled from his spot on the couch. "Face it, Yunjin, you’re bad at this game."
"You’re supposed to be on my side!"
"I would be," Taehyun said easily, taking a sip of his soda. "If you were winning."
Yunjin let out an exaggerated wail, flopping back onto the floor in defeat as Hueningkai crossed the finish line with ease. You laughed, stretching your legs out, your shoulders relaxing in a way they hadn’t all week.
This was nice. No tension, no overthinking, no lyrics folded neatly onto your desk like an unanswered question. Just this. Just them.
Yeonjun, who had spent the afternoon attempting to make cocktails, only to get tipsy himself after "taste testing" every single one. Hueningkai, who had somehow convinced everyone to build a fort in the living room, resulting in a half-collapsed mess of blankets and fairy lights that no one had the energy to fix.
Taehyun, who had made it his personal mission to bother you at all time, poking your cheek, stealing your hair tie, purposefully messing up your playlists just to get a reaction out of you. And Yunjin, who was now lying dramatically across your lap, still mourning her loss. "I hate this game," she mumbled into your hoodie.
"You say that every time you lose," Yeonjun reminded her, nudging her foot with his own.
She groaned. "Because I do."
You chuckled, resting your head against the couch cushions. For the first time in days, your mind felt quiet.
Maybe Beomgyu was just a phase. A storm that had come and gone, leaving only a few stray raindrops behind. Maybe by Monday, you would go back to work and it wouldn’t hurt anymore. Maybe.
It wasn’t until Sunday night, when the apartment had finally settled into silence, that something shifted. Everyone had gone home. Yeonjun had retreated to his room, muttering something about a deadline he had been procrastinating. And you were alone.
The weight of it settled over you slowly, like an old sweater you hadn’t worn in years but still fit perfectly. You weren’t sure when you reached for your guitar. Hadn’t even realized you were doing it until you were sitting cross-legged on your bed, fingers ghosting over the strings. It had been a while.
Too long since you had written something for yourself. Too long since you had let yourself sit in the mess of your own emotions, instead of tucking them neatly into productions meant for other people’s voices.
You plucked a few chords aimlessly, letting the melody come to you naturally. Something soft. Something slow. And then—without meaning to—you started to hum. A tune that wasn’t meant for the album. A tune that wasn’t meant for anyone.
The words slipped out like a confession, too quiet for anyone else to hear. You didn’t even think about them. You just sang.
Your fingers stilled. The room felt too small. You closed your eyes, exhaling through your nose. And then, with trembling hands, you picked up a pen and started to write. Not because you wanted to. But because some things were too heavy to carry in silence.
The first chord rang out soft and hesitant, barely louder than the steady hum of the city outside your window. You pressed your lips together, fingertips finding the familiar weight of the strings, the slightly worn frets beneath them.
And then, you started to sing.
This is the first day of my life
Swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach
The words came slowly, carefully, like they had been waiting for you to let them out. Your voice was quiet, almost unsure at first. But as the melody settled into you, as the lyrics unfolded with each passing chord, something in your chest loosened.
Yours was the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
And I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go
Your breathing evened. Your fingers moved more fluidly. And suddenly, it wasn’t just a song anymore. It was him.
The memories bled into the music, uninvited but unavoidable. The late nights in the studio, the sharp bickering that always gave way to something deeper. The way he looked at you sometimes, like he knew you, like he saw through every wall you had ever built and wasn’t afraid to push past them.
So if you wanna be with me
With these things there's no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides, maybe this time is different
I mean, I really think you like me
The realization settled slowly, creeping in like the soft glow of headlights through your window. You missed him. Not just as a producer, not just as a coworker, not just as the person who had spent years getting under your skin.
You missed him. His presence, his voice, the way his eyes flickered with something unreadable when he looked at you. The way you had always convinced yourself that the tension between you two was nothing but competition.
But now? Now, as you sat here with a guitar in your lap and a song that tasted like confession on your tongue, you weren’t so sure anymore.
The words hung in the air, delicate and fragile. And for the first time in weeks, you stopped running from the truth. It wasn’t just a rivalry. It wasn’t just frustration. It wasn’t even just a stupid, fleeting crush.
You liked him. And that was terrifying.
The car ride to work felt different today.
You weren’t as anxious as last week, your chest wasn’t as tight, your hands weren’t as clammy, but there was still something unsettled in you, something quietly nagging at the back of your mind.
Because today, Beomgyu was coming back.
And you had no idea what that meant. No idea which version of him you’d be facing. No idea if he’d pretend like nothing had happened, if he’d be cold again, or if he’d acknowledge it, that stupid, reckless, earth-shattering kiss. Or, if you'd even seen him today.
The HYBE lobby was already buzzing with early-morning energy. You kept your head down as you made your way toward the café, deciding that you desperately needed caffeine before facing the rest of the day. When you stepped inside, the familiar scent of espresso and vanilla filled the air, the quiet hum of conversation washing over you like white noise.
You spotted Taehyun near the counter, casually scrolling through his phone as he waited for his order. "Morning," you greeted, sliding into line beside him.
Taehyun glanced up from his phone as you slid into line beside him. "You’re here early," he remarked, taking a sip of his coffee.
You shrugged, adjusting the strap of your bag. "Figured I’d try something new. Maybe if I start my day with caffeine instead of stress, I’ll live longer."
Taehyun smirked. "Doubt it. But I respect the effort."
You hummed, stepping forward as the line moved. "What about you? Thought you weren’t a morning person."
"I’m not," he admitted, stuffing his free hand into the pocket of his hoodie. "But some of us have obligations."
You snorted. "Right." You huffed a quiet laugh, shaking your head as you reached for your phone. And just as you unlocked it, a notification popped up at the top of your screen.
[baekhyun (HYBE)]: meeting on the 18th floor. 10 minutes.
Your stomach twisted slightly. Taehyun must’ve noticed the shift in your expression because he raised an eyebrow. "Everything good?"
You exhaled, locking your phone and slipping it back into your pocket. "Yeah. Just got called into a meeting."
He hummed, sipping his coffee. "Just you?" You nodded, grabbing your drink from the counter. Taehyun studied you for a beat before smirking. "Well. That’s suspicious."
You shot him a flat look. "Everything is suspicious to you."
"And yet, I’m usually right." Taehyun smirked. "Good luck, warrior."
You shot him a dry look before turning to leave. But as you made your way toward the elevators, your chest tightened slightly. You weren’t nervous. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.
But the moment the elevator doors slid open, your breath caught in your throat. Beomgyu was already inside.
He stood toward the back, hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, the sleeves pushed up just enough to reveal the veins in his forearms. His dark hair was slightly tousled, messy, like he had run his hands through it too many times this morning.
Your heart did something stupid in your chest.
You hesitated for half a second, debating whether you should just wait for the next elevator, but then Beomgyu’s eyes met yours. And you couldn’t run. Not again. So, stiffly, you stepped inside.
The doors slid shut behind you, and the silence pressed in like a heavy weight. You swallowed. Beomgyu said nothing. You could feel him there, standing just a few feet away, but he didn’t look at you. His jaw was set, his gaze fixed on the doors in front of him, his entire body wound tight.
The tension was unbearable. So, stupidly, you spoke first. "You’re back."
His lips pressed together slightly. "Yeah."
You exhaled slowly, nodding. The elevator climbed higher, the numbers blinking above the doors, but the silence remained.
"I saw the tracklist update," Beomgyu said, voice even. "You kept Moonstruck."
Your breath hitched. For the first time since you stepped inside, he looked at you. And suddenly, you were back there. Back in the studio. Back in the moment he kissed you like it meant something. Back in the moment he ran.
You swallowed hard, gripping your coffee cup like it could anchor you. "Yeah," you said, keeping your voice steady. "It’s a good song."
Beomgyu’s gaze flickered, just briefly, just enough for you to see something shift. But he didn’t respond.
The elevator slowed. And before either of you could say anything else, the doors slid open. 18th floor. You stepped out first, pulse hammering against your ribs. But just before the doors shut behind him, you heard Beomgyu exhale a quiet—
"See you around."
And fuck. You were not ready for this.
Your legs carried you toward the meeting room, but your mind was still in that elevator. Moonstruck. He had noticed. You didn’t know why that made your stomach turn. Why it sent a hot, prickling feeling down your spine.
You had convinced yourself that the song was just work, just another track, just another piece of the album puzzle. But hearing him say it? Knowing that he knew?
It made it real. And the way he had looked at you when he said it, like he was waiting for something. Like he wanted an answer. But you didn’t have an answer. Because what were you supposed to say?
You inhaled sharply, pushing open the door to the conference room. And the second you stepped inside, you regretted it. Because sitting at the table, next to Baekhyun, was Seungcheol.
His eyes flicked up to yours immediately, and his lips curled into that same knowing smile he had given you at the HYBE party. "Ah," he mused. "Finally, our star producer has arrived."
Your stomach twisted. You forced a polite smile, slipping into the seat across from them. You had no idea what this meeting was about. But suddenly, you had a feeling it was going to be a lot.
You sat down, adjusting your posture, trying to ignore the sudden unease creeping into your chest. It wasn’t like you had anything against Seungcheol, he had always been perfectly pleasant whenever your paths crossed.
At the HYBE party, when Baekhyun introduced you, he was polite, curious, asked questions about your work that felt genuine. A few days later, in the hallway, he reinforced that same interest, saying he wanted to learn more about your creative process, that he admired what you were doing. It made sense, he was HYBE’s creative director, after all. It was his job to connect with the producers.
But then he happened. Beomgyu. With his endless stubbornness, his unwarranted judgment, his obvious disdain for Seungcheol.
He didn’t trust the guy. And he made that very clear, not just at the party when he interrupted your conversation, but later, in the hallway, with the way he threw out casual, cutting remarks, as if it was obvious that Seungcheol had ulterior motives.
You had ignored him. Because Beomgyu was always like that, poking, provoking, saying things just to get under your skin. But now, sitting across from Seungcheol, watching the way he smiled at you, the way his gaze lingered just a little too long, something inside you hesitated. And that was when you realized, that voice in my head isn’t mine. It’s Beomgyu’s. The thought irritated you. You didn’t need him planting ideas in your mind. Seungcheol had done nothing wrong.
He had never been inappropriate, never crossed any lines. If you were uncomfortable now, it was only because Beomgyu had convinced you that you should be.
Seungcheol leaned forward slightly, resting his hands on the table. "I was really pleased when I heard you’d be leading the production on your own," he said, his voice smooth, effortless. "I think you deserve it—this is a great step forward in your career."
You blinked, keeping your expression neutral. Something about the way he said it bothered you. Because the truth was, you hadn’t minded producing the album with Beomgyu. He was a good producer. One of the best, actually. And despite all your frustrations with him, you couldn’t deny that the work had been better when he was there.
You licked your lips, choosing your words carefully. "I never had a problem sharing the workload," you replied smoothly. "Beomgyu is incredibly talented. The album was going really well with the two of us working together."
Seungcheol didn’t react immediately. Instead, he just smiled a little, as if he had been expecting you to say that.
Next to him, Baekhyun, who had been flipping through some papers, glanced up. "Beomgyu’s decision to leave was personal," he noted, sensing the tension. "He requested to be removed. It had nothing to do with the quality of your work together."
You nodded, but Seungcheol simply let out a quiet, almost amused chuckle. "That sounds like something he’d do," he murmured, almost to himself.
You frowned. "What do you mean by that?"
Seungcheol met your gaze, tilting his head slightly, his expression unreadable. "He’s impulsive," he said simply. "Always has been. He doesn’t handle things well when they don’t go his way."
Your jaw clenched. Something about the way he said it bothered you. It wasn’t what he said—it was how he said it. His tone was too calculated, his words too deliberate, like he was trying to implant something in your mind without directly stating it. And maybe you were being paranoid, but it almost felt like he was waiting for a reaction from you.
You kept your face carefully blank, but you couldn’t stop the words from slipping out. "Or maybe he just had a valid reason for leaving," you said, keeping your voice light but firm. "Whatever it was, he’s one of the best producers here. He always delivers, and he knows exactly how to handle pressure when it matters."
Seungcheol raised an eyebrow, like he was mildly surprised by your defense. But instead of pushing, he just smiled again. "If you say so."
Baekhyun cleared his throat, flipping to another page. "Anyway, now that you’re leading the project, we need to finalize some decisions about the album direction. We have to lock in arrangements before we move forward with recording."
You nodded, relieved that the conversation was shifting back to work. The meeting had gone on longer than expected. You had been so focused on the album’s direction, discussing arrangements and potential changes to the tracklist with Baekhyun, that for a moment, you managed to forget about Seungcheol entirely.
Until you didn’t. Because at some point during the discussion, as you were leaning over the table, flipping through some production notes, Seungcheol’s hand landed on your arm.
Not aggressive. Not too much. Just enough. Enough to make your shoulders stiffen, enough to make your fingers freeze mid-page, enough for that cold, uncomfortable feeling to creep down your spine.
It was subtle, an easy touch, light pressure on your forearm as he leaned in slightly. "I really admire how dedicated you are," he murmured, his voice smooth, casual. "It’s rare to find someone so talented and hardworking."
Because now, you saw what Beomgyu saw. Maybe he had been dramatic. Maybe he had been exaggerating. But Seungcheol was flirting with you. And for the first time, you couldn’t ignore it.
You swallowed, keeping your eyes on the papers in front of you, pretending not to notice the way his fingertips lingered a little longer than necessary before he finally pulled away.
This was work. This was a meeting. You weren’t going to make a scene. You shifted slightly in your chair, tucking your arm out of reach, nodding stiffly. "Thanks," you said, your voice carefully neutral.
If Baekhyun noticed anything, he didn’t react. He simply continued walking you through the album structure, his focus locked on the material in front of him. But your focus was gone. Because now, every single word out of Seungcheol’s mouth sounded different.
When he agreed with your ideas, it wasn’t just professional, it was deliberate.
When he smiled at you, it wasn’t just friendly, it was calculated. And Beomgyu’s voice, the one you had sworn you wouldn’t listen to, was ringing in the back of your head, loud and unshakable.
You should be careful with him.
By the time the meeting wrapped up, you were exhausted, not from the work, but from everything else. You had barely finished stacking your papers when Seungcheol stood up, stretching his arms with an easy smile. "Well," he said, buttoning his blazer, "this was productive."
You hummed noncommittally, hoping that was the end of it. But as he reached the door, he paused, glancing over his shoulder at you. "Oh, and by the way—" You looked up. "The invitation still stands," he said, that same smile playing on his lips. "You should drop by my office sometime. I’d love to go over more of your work."
Something about the way he said it made your stomach twist. Before you could respond, he was already walking out, leaving you alone with Baekhyun. The second the door shut, you let out a slow breath, pressing your fingers to your temple.
Baekhyun sighed, setting his notes down. "Alright," he said, leaning back in his chair. "I know that look. What’s on your mind?"
You hesitated for half a second before deciding—fuck it. If you didn’t say something now, you were going to explode. "Look," you exhaled, straightening. "You’re my boss. I respect you. I like working with you. But I need to be honest—"
Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. "Go on."
You licked your lips, forcing yourself to meet his gaze. "That whole meeting just made me really uncomfortable."
His expression shifted slightly, his features smoothing into something unreadable. "Because of Seungcheol?"
"Yes." You didn’t hesitate. "It’s not just today. It’s been happening for a while. I didn’t want to make assumptions, but now I—" You shook your head, exhaling sharply. "I don’t know. The way he talks to me, the way he acts… It doesn’t feel like it’s just about work."
Baekhyun didn’t answer immediately. He watched you carefully, considering your words before finally sighing. "Yeah," he muttered. "I figured as much."
You blinked. "Wait, what?"
Baekhyun rubbed his temple. "I had a feeling this might happen eventually. Seungcheol has a reputation—he doesn’t always separate work from… other things."
Your stomach sank. "So it’s not just me," you muttered.
Baekhyun hesitated before shaking his head. "No. It’s not just you."
You exhaled, leaning back in your chair, processing. Baekhyun watched you for a moment before continuing, his voice lower now. "Listen, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If he makes you uncomfortable, I’ll back you up. But I also know how these things can be tricky, so… what do you want to do?"
You stared at him. You hadn’t expected that. You hadn’t expected someone to actually ask. You swallowed, gripping the edge of the table. "I just… I just want to do my job."
Baekhyun nodded. "Then that’s what you’ll do."
And for the first time that day, you felt like someone was actually listening. You sighed, rubbing a hand over your face. "Honestly… I didn’t want Beomgyu to leave the project."
Baekhyun leaned back in his chair, watching you closely. "Yeah, I figured."
You hesitated for a moment before continuing, choosing your words carefully. "It wasn’t perfect, working with him. We fought a lot. We had different approaches. But the album was better when we were both on it. And now, I don’t know… it just doesn’t feel the same."
Baekhyun hummed thoughtfully, tapping his fingers against the table. "You know," he started, "when he asked to leave, I thought it was weird too."
Your brows furrowed. "Weird how?"
Baekhyun exhaled, tilting his head slightly as if trying to recall the exact conversation. "For starters, the excuse he gave me was bullshit. He said he just had ‘other priorities,’ but it didn’t add up. He didn’t have anything urgent lined up. He wasn’t being reassigned yet. If anything, he was in the perfect position to stay on the project."
Your stomach twisted. "Then why did he do it?"
Baekhyun studied you for a moment before answering. "Because of you."
Your breath hitched slightly. "What?"
"He told me you were the perfect person for this album," Baekhyun said simply. "He said that if anyone deserved to take full control of it, it was you. That you understood the vision, that you had the best instincts for the sound, that this was your project."
You blinked. Baekhyun smirked slightly. "He also said he’d still be available if you needed anything—which was interesting, considering he was insisting on stepping away."
You swallowed, shifting in your seat. "So… he didn’t leave because I was in the way."
Baekhyun raised a brow. "No. He left because he thought he was."
Your chest tightened, your fingers clenching slightly over your notebook. Beomgyu thought he was in the way? That didn’t make sense. That wasn’t how this worked.
You had spent years competing with him, matching his energy, pushing yourself to outdo him the way he pushed himself to outdo you. You thought he saw you as a rival, as someone to challenge, someone to beat.
This didn’t sound like someone trying to win. This sounded like someone stepping aside. And suddenly, for the first time since that damn kiss, you wondered— Had you misunderstood everything?
The meeting wrapped up soon after, but your mind was far from settled. Baekhyun left first, offering you a knowing look as he walked out. Seungcheol was already gone, thankfully, leaving the room feeling a little lighter.
You stayed behind for a moment, fingers tapping restlessly against the table, thoughts still tangled in everything Baekhyun had just told you. Beomgyu thought he was in the way. He stepped back because of me?
The idea felt foreign, almost ridiculous. But the more you sat with it, the more you replayed every interaction, every lingering glance, every almost-argument that dissolved into something softer. Maybe it wasn’t ridiculous at all.
You exhaled sharply, pushing the thoughts aside as you gathered your things and made your way back to your studio. By the time you stepped inside, something had already shifted in you. Because for the first time in days, you wanted to write. Not because of deadlines. Not because of expectations.
But because something inside you was begging to be let out.
You locked the door behind you, took a deep breath, and crossed the room, fingers reaching for the guitar propped against the wall. It had been there for a while, untouched, gathering dust in the chaos of everything else. But the second your fingers curled around the neck, something inside you settled.
You didn’t know why, but you wanted to record this song you wrote on Sunday night. First Day of My Life. You knew it wouldn’t fit the album. It was too raw, too stripped-down, too honest. It wasn’t meant for Enhypen’s project—it wasn’t meant for any project.
But still. You adjusted the mic, positioned the guitar properly, and pressed record. And then, you played.
Your fingers moved over the strings carefully at first, but then muscle memory took over, and suddenly, it was effortless. The chords flowed easily, filling the quiet studio, wrapping around you like something safe, something familiar.
And then your voice followed. The words came soft, steady.
“Yours was the first face that I saw…”
You thought about the way he looked at you when he didn’t think you’d notice. The way his lips parted like he wanted to say something but never did.
“I think I was blind before I met you.”
Your breath hitched slightly, but you kept going, pouring yourself into every note, every word. The melody washed over you, unfiltered and vulnerable, and for the first time in a long time, you weren’t thinking about what came next.
You were just feeling. And when the last chord faded into silence, you opened your eyes slowly, exhaling shakily. You sat there for a moment, staring at the blinking red light on the recorder. Then, without hesitating, you saved the file.
You stared at the tape sitting on your desk. And it stared back.
You had written a post-it, your handwriting slightly messier than usual, because your hands had been shaking when you wrote it.
wanted the opinion of the best songwriter i know.
Your stomach twisted. This was stupid. It was so stupid. And yet, you grabbed the tape before you could overthink it.
The hallways of HYBE were quieter now, most people already heading out for the evening. You didn’t know where Beomgyu was, but you hoped, prayed, that he wasn’t in his studio right now. Because you weren’t ready to see him. Not yet.
Your footsteps were light as you reached his studio door. It was closed, the small light inside turned off. Empty. Good. You slipped inside quickly, ignoring the way your heart was pounding against your ribs. You set the tape down gently on his desk, smoothing the post-it out with your fingers. And then you stepped back. You stared at it for a moment longer, your pulse hammering in your ears.
He might not even listen to it. He might throw it away. He might ignore it completely. But still, you left it there. And as you walked away, your chest felt lighter. Because for once, you weren’t running. You were giving him a chance.
You were late.
Not catastrophically late, but late enough that you were definitely pushing it. Yeonjun had texted you when he woke up, asking why the apartment was unusually quiet, only for you to send back a half-panicked “I overslept, don’t judge me” before practically rolling out of bed.
You hadn’t meant to stay up so late the night before. But lying there, staring at the ceiling, replaying every single second of the last few days in your mind?
That was apparently more important than sleep.
By the time you rushed into HYBE, coffee was your only priority. You barely had time to breathe as you dodged people in the hallway, some of them calling your name, others trying to get your attention.
"Y/N, do you have a second?"
"Hey, I sent you that file, did you get a chance to look at it?"
"Oh, Y/N—can you check in with the Enhypen team later?"
The words blurred together, the weight of everything pressing against you as you nodded, mumbled vague acknowledgments, and kept walking. Because, in the end, none of it mattered. Not right now.
Not when the only thing on your mind was getting to your studio and catching your breath before the day swallowed you whole. You reached your door, exhaled sharply, and pushed it open.
And froze. Because there, sitting casually in your chair like he belonged there was Beomgyu. Holding the tape.
Your stomach dropped. The scene was so eerily familiar that for a split second, you thought you had hallucinated it. The way he was slouched slightly in the chair, the way his fingers turned the tape over slowly, like he was still processing it.
The way his dark eyes flicked up to meet yours, and how, in that exact moment, you saw it. You saw the feeling written across his face. Soft. Open. Maybe even a little wrecked. You sucked in a sharp breath and, without thinking, shut the door behind you. A beat of silence passed.
"You wrote this," Beomgyu murmured, his voice quieter than you expected.
It wasn’t a question. You swallowed hard. "Yeah."
His fingers tightened around the tape slightly. "Was it for the album?"
You shook your head. "No. It doesn’t fit the concept. I just… wanted to record it."
Beomgyu exhaled, slow and measured. "It’s beautiful."
The words hit you in a way you weren’t prepared for. You blinked. He wasn’t teasing. He wasn’t throwing in a sarcastic remark, or a smug smile, or anything that would make this easier to brush off. He just meant it.
And it made your chest ache. You shifted slightly, gripping your coffee cup a little tighter. "You listened to it?"
Beomgyu nodded, still looking down at the tape. "Twice."
Your breath hitched. "Twice?"
His lips twitched, just barely. "Maybe more." You let out a short, breathy laugh, shaking your head. A pause. "What made you write it?"
Your fingers curled slightly over your cup, heat pressing into your skin. You could lie. You should lie. But you didn’t. You licked your lips, shifting your gaze to the floor for a second before looking back at him. "I don’t know. I guess I just… needed to."
Beomgyu studied you for a long moment, the weight of his gaze settling over you like something heavy. And then, so quietly you almost didn’t catch it, he says: "It felt like something you needed to say."
Your heart stumbled. Because maybe it was just your imagination. Maybe you were hearing things that weren’t there. But the way he said it, like he understood, like he knew.
Beomgyu’s fingers drummed lightly against the tape, his gaze flickering between you and the guitar leaning against the wall. The silence between you felt fragile, like if either of you moved too fast, it would shatter. Then, without a word, he reached for the guitar. You raised an eyebrow as he adjusted it on his lap, fingers testing the strings before looking up at you again. "Pass me the chords?"
You hesitated, but eventually nodded, grabbing a piece of scrap paper and jotting them down quickly. When you slid it across the desk toward him, his fingers brushed yours as he took it, sending something electric up your spine.
Beomgyu studied the chords for a moment, then started playing. Slow, tentative, like he was feeling out the song in his own way. And before you even realized what you were doing, your lips parted—
"This is the first day of my life…"
The words came out softer this time, more intimate. You weren’t just singing anymore, you were sharing something. Beomgyu kept playing, his eyes locked onto you now, his expression unreadable.
"Swear I was born right in the doorway…"
You swallowed hard, voice faltering slightly when you saw the way he was looking at you. Like there was something he wanted to say. But he didn’t. He just kept playing. And so you kept singing.
"Yours was the first face that I saw… I think I was blind before I met you."
Something shifted in the air. You weren’t sure if it was you, or him, or just the weight of everything that had been left unsaid between you two for so long.
But for the first time, it felt like neither of you were trying to fight it.
When the song finally came to an end, the last note fading into silence, Beomgyu exhaled slowly, letting his fingers rest against the strings. And then, so quietly you almost didn’t catch it—
"I’m sorry."
You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden softness in his voice. "For what?"
He looked down at the guitar, running his thumb absently over the wood. "For dropping the album."
Your chest tightened. "You didn’t have to," you murmured. "I never wanted you to."
He let out a dry chuckle, shaking his head. "I thought… I thought you’d work better without me."
You frowned. "That’s not true."
Beomgyu hesitated, his jaw tightening slightly. "I didn’t want to leave you alone." He inhaled sharply, like he was steadying himself. "But I didn’t want my feelings to get in the way."
Your breath hitched. Your heartbeat pounded in your ears. Slowly, carefully, you asked— "What feelings?"
Beomgyu tensed. For a second, he looked like he wanted to say it. Like he might say it. But then something closed inside him. His shoulders stiffened, his fingers gripping the guitar a little tighter. And when he finally spoke, his voice was quieter. More distant. "It’s hard for me."
You furrowed your brows, confused. "What is?"
Beomgyu swallowed, looking down. "This. Talking. Saying things out loud." His lips pressed together for a moment before he let out a soft, humorless laugh. "It’s easy to write about it. To turn it into lyrics. To make it rhyme and feel poetic and beautiful."
He shook his head, exhaling through his nose. "But when it’s real? When it’s not just a song?" He shaked his head. "In real life, it’s harder."
You stared at him, heart twisting. Because this was him. This was Beomgyu without the smirks, without the teasing, without the carefully crafted walls. And for the first time, you realized, maybe this wasn’t just difficult for you.
Maybe he didn’t run because he didn’t care. Maybe he ran because he did.
Your heart pounded, your throat felt tight, but you forced yourself to breathe, to steady your voice. "What did you mean by that?"
He exhaled sharply, rubbing a hand over his face. "You know what I mean."
"Do I?"
Beomgyu let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. "Come on, Y/N."
There was something in his voice, frustration, exhaustion, something too tangled up in itself to pull apart. You frowned. "I don’t want to assume."
"Right," he muttered. "Because assuming things with me has always worked out so well."
Your chest tightened. "Beomgyu—"
"I—" He exhaled, running a hand through his hair, then finally, finally, looked up at you. And god, you hated the way it made your breath catch. The way his eyes, dark and searching, made you feel like you were standing at the edge of something.
Like if you took one more step, there’d be no turning back. But before you could say anything—before he could say anything—the door creaked open.
Both of you turned at the same time.
"Hey," a familiar voice broke through the tension. "Think I left my pen with you earlier."
Seungcheol. His voice cut through the tension like a blade, sharp and unexpected. He stepped inside, eyes flickering between the two of you, taking in the scene—the guitar in Beomgyu’s lap, the tape on the desk, the way neither of you seemed to be breathing.
You turned toward the doorway, blinking as he leaned against the frame, his usual easy confidence settling into the room like he belonged there. Beomgyu’s entire posture shifted. It wasn’t obvious, no clenched fists, no outright glare, but you saw it anyway. The slight stiffening of his shoulders, the way his fingers curled subtly against the guitar.
You exhaled, stepping toward your desk. "Yeah, I think you did."
Seungcheol grinned. "Knew it."
You grabbed the pen and handed it to him, your fingers barely grazing before he pulled away. "Thanks, sweetheart," he said, easy, casual. "See you later."
And just like that, he was gone. The door clicked shut.
The silence that followed was worse than before. You turned back to Beomgyu, and immediately knew something was off. He put away the guitar, his arms crossed, expression unreadable, but his jaw was tight. "You going along with him?" His voice was sharp, cutting.
You frowned. "What?"
"Seungcheol," Beomgyu said, eyes locking onto yours. "You going along with his shit?"
Your frown deepened. "No. What the hell are you talking about?"
He scoffed, shaking his head. "I told you not to trust that guy."
"And I didn’t," you snapped, "I just gave him back his damn pen."
Beomgyu’s jaw clenched, his frustration spilling out in waves. "Yeah? Well, maybe you should know what your old friends are saying about you before you act like I’m being dramatic."
You stared at him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
He exhaled, running a hand through his hair, like he was trying to decide if he should even tell you. But then, his eyes darkened, and whatever hesitation he had burned away. "You remember Yunho?"
Your stomach twisted. Of course you remembered Yunho. Beomgyu didn’t wait for your answer. "After you left the party, he came up to me," he said, voice tight. "Started making conversation—asking if I worked at HYBE, shit like that. And then, out of nowhere, he says he knows Seungcheol."
Beomgyu watched your reaction closely, but he didn’t stop. "And then, Yunho tells me he used to fuck around with you," he continued, voice growing harsher, "but dropped you because, in his words, you were ‘too desirable.’"
You flinched. Your fingers curled into your palms, nails pressing against your skin. "What?"
Beomgyu let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "Yeah. And apparently, Seungcheol’s been waiting for his turn. ‘Dying to get a piece,’ is what he said."
The words hit like a punch to the gut. Your heart pounded. "You’re lying."
Beomgyu’s gaze snapped to yours, sharp, furious. "I fucking wish."
You felt sick. But Beomgyu wasn’t done. "And then," he continued, voice low, "this motherfucker—this piece of shit—starts talking about how he doesn’t go for ‘girls who get around’ because he has standards." Your breath hitched. "That’s what he called you," Beomgyu said, voice flat. "A girl who gets around."
A sharp, ugly silence settled between you. Your pulse was roaring in your ears, rage and humiliation coiling together in your stomach like poison. "You fought him."
Beomgyu scoffed, shaking his head. "No. We talked."
You frowned. "Talked?"
"Yeah," he said, jaw tight. "He was acting like he had some kind of moral high ground," Beomgyu went on, voice sharpening. "Like he wouldn’t go for a girl who’s ‘too easy’—but oh, Seungcheol? Seungcheol was dying for a chance with you. And the way he talked—" Beomgyu exhaled sharply, shaking his head. "It pissed me off."
You swallowed hard, something ugly and bitter crawling up your throat. "So what, you argued with him?"
Beomgyu’s eyes flickered with something unreadable. His expression darkened. "Don’t do that."
"Do what?"
"Act like it doesn’t bother you," he snapped. "Act like it’s nothing when people say shit like that about you. I know you, Y/N."
Your breath caught. Because he wasn’t wrong. But you weren’t about to admit that. The air between you crackled with tension. His expression flickered. You should’ve let it go. Should’ve walked away. But something about the way he was looking at you made something snap inside you.
You shook your head, frustration burning beneath your skin. "You’re exhausting," you muttered, voice sharp. "One second you’re quiet, then you’re nice, then you’re picking fights, then you act like I’m just some coworker—"
Beomgyu’s expression flickered, something dark flashing in his eyes. "You think I treat you like that?"
"You tell me, Beomgyu," you snapped. "Because I have no fucking clue what you want from me."
The words hung in the air like a threat. His jaw tightened, his fingers flexing at his sides. "Don’t act like you don’t know," he said, voice rough. "Act like this is just me playing games—like I’m trying to play with you just for fun."
You let out a sharp, humorless laugh. "Aren’t you?"
Beomgyu’s entire body tensed. "Are you serious right now?"
"Yes, I’m fucking serious!" You took a step closer, rage bubbling up from every place you had been shoving it down. "You kissed me, Beomgyu. And then you disappeared for a fucking week. No texts, no calls, nothing. And then you show up at work like it never happened—like I should just be fine with that."
His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. "It wasn’t like that."
"Then what the fuck was it like?"
He ran a hand through his hair, fingers tugging slightly at the strands, like he was trying to pull himself together. "I needed time."
You exhaled sharply, shaking your head. "Bullshit."
Beomgyu scoffed. "Oh, so now I’m the bad guy?"
"You’re not the fucking victim," you shot back. "You don't get to kiss me like that, make me think—"
You cut yourself off, biting down hard on the words before they could spill out. But it was too late. Beomgyu was already looking at you like you had just punched the air out of his lungs. Like he knew exactly what you were about to say.
The air between you was too thick, too charged, suffocating and electric all at once. His hands curled into fists at his sides, his chest rising and falling unevenly. "You think I don’t fucking feel it too?" His voice cracked slightly, rough and raw. "You think this is easy for me?"
Your breath caught. "Then why do you keep running from it?"
Beomgyu exhaled sharply, something desperate in his gaze. "Because I don’t know what to do with it!"
Silence. His confession settled between you like an exposed wire, dangerous and crackling with heat. His jaw clenched, like he hated admitting it, like he hated feeling this much. But then, his expression shifted, morphing into something sharper, something wrecked.
"Fuck, Y/N," he muttered, voice strained. "You don’t get it. You don’t fucking get it."
"Then make me get it!" you yelled, frustration boiling over. "For once in your goddamn life, just say it!"
Beomgyu’s breath hitched. For a second, he didn’t say anything.
"Because I can’t fucking want you this much and still pretend it doesn’t matter!"
Your entire body locked up.
Beomgyu exhaled sharply, chest heaving, his eyes dark and so fucking serious it made your stomach flip. "I can’t—" He dragged a hand over his face, voice lower now, wrecked. "I can’t pretend that this thing between us doesn’t fucking kill me every time I try to ignore it." Your heart was a wildfire in your chest. Beomgyu let out a sharp laugh, one that sounded more like frustration than amusement. "I don’t know how to fucking want you without ruining everything else."
The words hit harder than they should have. The words hit harder than they should have. Because that was it, wasn’t it? That was why he ran. Why he pushed, pulled, disappeared, came back. Why he kissed you and then left.
Because he wanted you. But he didn’t trust himself with you. The realization sat heavy in your chest. And for the first time, you saw it, the fear beneath the anger, the hesitation beneath the frustration.
Beomgyu didn’t just want you. He was terrified of wanting you. And you didn’t know what scared you more. The fact that he was afraid. Or the fact that you weren’t.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. The air between you was stretched too thin, humming with something neither of you knew how to control. Then, Beomgyu exhaled, deep, uneven. His gaze flickered downward, his fingers flexing at his sides like he wanted to reach for something but couldn’t bring himself to do it.
"I’m sorry," he said.
The words were quiet, but they landed with the weight of something long overdue. You swallowed. His lips parted, then closed. He let out a slow breath, shaking his head slightly, like he didn’t even know where to start. "For kissing you," he murmured. "For leaving. For not talking to you for a week like a fucking coward." His jaw clenched. "For making you think that it didn’t mean anything."
You stared at him, heart pounding. "And did it?" you asked, voice barely above a whisper.
Beomgyu lifted his gaze then, something wrecked behind his dark eyes. "You already know the answer to that."
Your breath caught. He was looking at you differently now. Not with frustration, not with hesitation, but with a kind of certainty that sent heat curling in your stomach.
Then, before you could even process it, he took a step back. "Come with me," he said.
You blinked. "What?"
Beomgyu turned, already heading toward the door. "Come on," he repeated, glancing back at you. "I wanna show you something to prove it."
Something in his voice made your pulse jump. Still, you hesitated. "Show me?"
He didn’t answer. Just held the door open, waiting. And for some stupid, unexplainable reason, your feet started moving.
The walk to his studio was silent. Not tense, not uncomfortable, just charged. You could feel it, the way he was holding something back, something big. His pace was quick, purposeful, like if he didn’t move fast enough, he’d lose his nerve.
When you reached his studio, he pulled out a keycard and swiped it, unlocking the door before stepping inside. You followed hesitantly, eyes flickering over the dimly lit space.
Beomgyu didn’t say anything at first. Instead, he walked over to the soundboard, pressing a few buttons, adjusting the controls. A small red light flickered on in the recording booth.
Your stomach flipped. "What are we doing?" you asked, voice quieter now.
Beomgyu turned to face you, his expression unreadable. "I want you to hear something."
And then, he pressed play. A soft, melancholic guitar filled the room. Your breath caught immediately. You recognized it before he even started singing. Moonstruck.
But it wasn’t the version you had heard before. It was him. Beomgyu’s voice. Low, warm, just slightly raspy—vulnerable.
Your mind had barely caught up to the fact that he had recorded this himself when he spoke again. "I think you know why I wrote this," he said, voice quiet, steady. Your head snapped toward him, but he wasn’t looking at you.
He was looking at the recording booth. And then, he moved. Slowly, purposefully, he reached for the door handle and pushed it open, nodding his head for you to follow. "Come here."
Your pulse stuttered. You should’ve stopped. Should’ve said something, anything to break whatever the hell was happening right now. But you didn’t. Instead, you stepped inside. The door clicked shut behind you.
Beomgyu pressed a button near the panel, locked. He finally turned to face you then, and, fuck, he was close. "I don’t want anyone interrupting this time," he murmured.
Your breath caught. The air inside the booth was thick, the music still playing softly through the speakers. Beomgyu took another step forward, and this time, you didn’t move away. "You know what this song is about," he said, voice lower now.
You swallowed hard. "Beomgyu—"
"You know," he repeated, softer.
You couldn’t breathe. Because he was right. You knew. You had known since the first time you read the demo, since the first lyric. This was about you. And now, standing here, locked inside a booth with him, his voice bleeding through the speakers, warm and raw and real, you had never been more aware of it.
Beomgyu reached up then, fingers barely grazing your wrist. Not pulling, not pushing. Just there. A question. A hesitation. You didn’t know who moved first.
Maybe it was him. Maybe it was you. But suddenly, there wasn’t space between you anymore. His hand slid up, over your wrist, your forearm, until his fingers curled gently around your jaw. Your lips parted slightly, breath uneven, your pulse roaring in your ears.
Beomgyu’s gaze flickered down to your mouth. And then, he kissed you.
It wasn’t rushed, wasn’t messy, just slow, lingering, like he wanted to memorize the way you felt against him. His fingers curled tighter against your jaw, tilting your head just enough to deepen the kiss, to let himself drown in it.
And you let him. Because right now, nothing else mattered. Not the past, not the fear, not the things left unsaid. Right now, there was only this. Only the music, still playing softly in the background. Only him.
The kiss deepened before you even realized it was happening. Beomgyu wasn’t hesitant anymore. He wasn’t uncertain, wasn’t holding back, he was in it, pressing into you with a kind of desperation that made your head spin. His fingers dug into your jaw, tilting your face just the way he wanted, his lips parting against yours, taking.
Your back hit the wall of the recording booth, and he was on you in an instant, one hand braced against the panel behind you, the other sliding down, grazing the side of your neck, the bare skin of your arm, like he needed to feel you.
You barely had a second to breathe before he kissed you again, harder this time, almost rough, a low sound slipping from his throat as you pressed up onto your toes, your fingers curling into the front of his shirt.
"Fuck," he muttered against your mouth, voice already wrecked. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this."
Your breath hitched. "Then why did you run?"
His teeth grazed your bottom lip, his fingers tightening around your waist. "Because I’m a fucking idiot," he murmured, pressing another kiss against your jaw, then lower, dragging his lips along your neck. "Because I didn’t know if you—"
You cut him off, pulling him back to you, kissing him harder, more insistent. Beomgyu groaned against your lips, his body pressing flush against yours now, his hand slipping down to grip your thigh, hiking it up against his hip. His touch burned, warm and firm, like he needed you closer, needed to close the space that still existed between you.
"Tell me to stop," he muttered, his mouth trailing down, lips brushing the sensitive spot just below your ear. "Tell me to stop, and I swear I will."
You swallowed hard, fingers digging into his back. "I'm not telling you to stop."
That was all it took. Beomgyu made a low, almost guttural noise, like something inside him had just snapped. The next kiss was different. Messier. Hungrier. His hands were everywhere, sliding up under the hem of your shirt, skimming over bare skin, gripping your waist tight enough to leave bruises. Your body arched into his touch, your breathing uneven, heat pooling deep in your stomach as his fingers dug into your hips.
"Say it," he muttered against your lips, voice rough with something you couldn’t quite place. "Say you want me, too."
You let out a shaky breath, barely able to think. "I want you, Beomgyu."
He groaned, pressing his forehead against yours for a split second before kissing you again, slower this time, but deeper, like he wanted to drown in it. Then, suddenly, his grip tightened. He lifted you effortlessly, guiding you up onto the small ledge of the booth, your legs wrapping around his waist, his body slotting between your thighs like it was meant to be there.
Your pulse roared. He was so close now, every inch of him pressed against you, his breath uneven, his fingers tracing slow, deliberate circles against the skin just above the waistband of your jeans. "You drive me fucking insane," he muttered, his lips brushing over yours between each word. "I can’t think straight when I’m around you."
You barely had time to process that before his mouth was on your throat again, biting, sucking, dragging his lips down and down and down. Your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging just enough to make him groan, his hips pressing forward on instinct. The friction made you gasp, your legs tightening around him. "Shit," Beomgyu swore, his forehead dropping against your shoulder.
For a moment, neither of you moved. Your breathing was uneven, your body burning, your skin thrumming with heat where he touched you. Then, slowly, Beomgyu lifted his head. His gaze met yours, dark, unreadable. His hands flexed against your waist, like he was trying to ground himself. "I don’t want to fuck this up," he murmured, voice strained. "Not with you."
Your chest ached. Because he wasn’t saying I don’t want this. He was saying I don’t want to ruin it. Your fingers traced lightly along the back of his neck, your breathing still shaky. "Then don’t," you whispered.
Beomgyu swallowed hard. "I’m trying." He was still close. His forehead was still resting against yours, his hands gripping your waist, his body pressed between your legs like he wasn’t ready to pull away yet.
Your breathing was uneven. So was his. And then, like some invisible force snapped between you, his lips were on yours again. This time, there was no hesitation. He kissed you like he had been starving for this, like he was finally letting himself have what he had wanted for so long. His fingers dug into your waist, pulling you against him, his body heat swallowing you whole as his mouth moved against yours, deep and urgent.
You gasped slightly when he tilted your chin up, angling the kiss deeper, his tongue teasing against yours just enough to make your stomach tighten.
You felt like you were burning. Everywhere he touched, everywhere he pressed, lit up. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, fingers threading through his hair, tugging just enough to make him let out a low, almost desperate sound against your lips. His hips pressed forward, instinctive. "Beomgyu—" you breathed against his mouth, barely able to think.
"Mm?" He didn’t stop. Just kissed along your jaw, down your neck, biting down lightly at the sensitive skin there before soothing it with his tongue.
A shiver ran down your spine. "We should—"
He kissed you again, cutting off your words, his hands gripping your thighs, holding you steady against him. "Say it later," he muttered, voice rough, lips brushing against yours. "Say it after I kiss you again."
And then he did. Harder this time. Deeper. Your body arched into his without thinking, heat curling in your stomach, your hands gripping onto his shirt to keep yourself steady. You could feel everything. His heartbeat, heavy and uneven against your chest. The way his fingers flexed against your skin like he was trying to memorize the way you felt. The low, unsteady sounds he made every time you moved against him, every time you kissed him back just as desperately.
It was too much. You broke away first, chest rising and falling, trying to catch your breath. Beomgyu didn’t move. He stayed close, lips still brushing against yours, eyes dark and heavy-lidded. Your fingers were still curled in his hair. His hands were still gripping your waist.
"We should stop," you murmured, forcing the words out before you lost your grip on reality completely. "Beomgyu, we’re— We’re at work. It’s not even noon."
Beomgyu let out a slow, shuddering breath. "Fuck." He still didn’t move. You could see it, the way his jaw clenched, his eyes flickering over your lips like he was debating whether to listen to you or keep going anyway. Then, finally, he exhaled sharply, resting his forehead against your shoulder for half a second before stepping back. "Yeah." His voice was strained, rough. "You’re right."
The air felt thin without him against you. You took a slow breath, trying to calm the racing of your pulse, trying to ignore the way your body still buzzed from his touch. His fingers brushed over your thigh before he pulled away completely, straightening his shirt, raking a hand through his hair.
You slid off the ledge, steadying yourself as you smoothed out your clothes. "I should get back to work," you muttered, voice still slightly breathless. "The album—"
Beomgyu gave a humorless chuckle, rubbing a hand over his face. "Yeah. Right. The album."
Neither of you moved. Neither of you looked at each other. Because you both knew, work was the last thing on your minds right now. But still, you turned toward the door, reaching for the handle. "I’ll see you later," you mumbled.
Beomgyu hummed in response, something unreadable in his expression. "Yeah."
You pulled the door open, and then, just as you were about to step out, his hand caught your wrist. Before you could even process it, he tugged lightly, just enough to make you turn back, and pressed a soft, lingering kiss against your lips. It was barely a second. Barely anything. But it hit you like a fucking meteor. He pulled away just as quickly, his eyes flickering over your face, watching your reaction. You didn’t move. Couldn’t move.
Because what the fuck was that? Not the heat, not the urgency, not the kind of kiss that made your head spin and your knees weak, but something softer. Warmer. Something that made your stomach tighten in an entirely different way.
Beomgyu’s lips quirked upward slightly, like he could see the way your brain had short-circuited. "Go work," he murmured.
You blinked. "Right." And then, without another word, you turned and walked out, your heart still pounding.
You spent the rest of the afternoon in your studio. Hours passed. You barely noticed.
The only thing grounding you was the music, the way it pulsed through your headphones, the way it filled every inch of your studio. The way it made everything else, the tension, the heat, the weight of Beomgyu’s touch, fade just enough for you to breathe.
Your fingers moved instinctively, layering melodies, adjusting levels, smoothing over instrumentals. Every track you touched felt electric, the ideas spilling out of you faster than you could process them. Maybe it was adrenaline. Maybe it was something else. But whatever it was, you let it take over.
The hours blurred together, stretching into one long, unbroken moment of creation. A new beat took shape, fast, sharp, pulsing with urgency. You molded it into something heavier, something alive. You adjusted the bass, the synths, the vocal layers, adding a deeper texture, something that ached in all the right ways.
Then another track, smoother, melancholic, intimate in a way that made your chest tighten. You let the guitar linger in places it normally wouldn’t, let the reverb stretch out just enough to make it feel like the song was breathing.
Another, this one bold, unrelenting, filled with heat and confidence. It demanded attention, crackled with something fierce. You didn’t stop. You couldn’t stop. Your eyes flickered to the screen as the tracklist took shape in front of you:
XO (Only If You Say Yes)
Your Eyes Only
Hundred Broken Hearts
Brought The Heat Back
Paranormal
Royalty
A solid foundation. A damn good foundation. By the time you finally leaned back in your chair, exhaustion was creeping in, settling into your limbs, but there was a different kind of satisfaction sitting beside it. Because you had done it. Most of your work was done. And maybe, just maybe, you had needed this. The music. The escape. The chance to turn everything swimming in your head into something real.
With a deep breath, you saved the files, powered down your setup, and began gathering your things. Your jacket, your bag, your phone, shoving everything into place as you checked the time. Late.
The sun had already set by the time you stepped outside. The air was crisp, the streets quieter now, the city humming with the distant sounds of life. You exhaled, adjusting the strap of your bag over your shoulder as you turned toward the metro station.
And then—
"You took your time."
Your steps faltered. Beomgyu was waiting. Leaning against the side of the building, hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket, his head tilted slightly as he watched you.
Your brows furrowed. "What are you doing here?"
Beomgyu smirked. "Told you I had until the album dropped for you to change your mind."
You blinked. "Change my mind about what?"
His smirk widened. "About getting a drink with me."
You stared at him. "Are you serious?"
"Dead serious," he said, pushing off the wall, stepping closer. "You spent the whole day in that studio. You need a break."
Your lips parted slightly, caught between irritation and something closer to amusement. "And you decided you’d be the one to provide it?"
Beomgyu shrugged. "Obviously."
You shook your head, exhaling. "I was planning to go home."
"Okay," he said easily. "You can still go home."
You frowned. "What?"
"After one drink," he clarified. "Then you can go home."
You let out a short laugh, shaking your head again. "You’re impossible."
"And yet," he mused, rocking back on his heels, "you’re still standing here, considering it."
Your jaw clenched. Because he wasn’t wrong. The exhaustion was still there, but so was something else, something that made you hesitate, something that made you want to say yes. Beomgyu noticed.
And so he tilted his head, lowering his voice just slightly. "Come on, Y/N. Just one."
You stared at him for another long moment. Then, before you could stop yourself, "Fine."
Beomgyu smirked, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets as he led the way. "You know," he mused, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, "you’re a lot more fun when you don’t overthink things."
You scoffed. "I’m not overthinking anything."
He grinned. "Then why do you look like you’re already regretting this?"
You huffed, shoving your hands into your jacket. "I’m not."
Beomgyu just hummed, like he didn’t believe you, but didn’t feel like arguing. Instead, he turned down a quieter street, leading you toward a bar tucked between two buildings, a cozy-looking place, warm light spilling from the windows, the scent of grilled meat drifting through the air.
You hesitated. "This is where we’re going?"
Beomgyu glanced at you, amused. "Why? You don’t like barbecue?"
Your stomach growled at the thought. You sighed. "I do, a lot."
He just smirked, pushing open the door. Inside, the atmosphere was just as inviting as the smell. Low, warm lighting. Laughter. The quiet clinking of glasses. The faint crackle of meat sizzling on the built-in grills at the tables. It was comfortable. And you hated that it made you relax a little.
Beomgyu led you toward an open table near the back, sliding into the seat beside you instead of across from you, leaning back like he had done this a thousand times before. Which, knowing him, he probably had. "You come here a lot," you muttered, glancing around.
He grinned. "I have good taste."
You rolled your eyes. A server appeared, and Beomgyu barely had to glance at the menu before ordering beef short ribs, pork belly, a few side dishes, and two cold beers.
You raised an eyebrow. "Ordering for me now?"
Beomgyu shrugged, tapping his fingers against the table. "You like barbecue. You like beer. I connected the dots."
You leaned back, crossing your arms. "What if I suddenly decided I hate all those things?"
Beomgyu smirked, resting his chin in his hand as he looked at you. "Then you’d be lying." You narrowed your eyes at him.
The beers arrived first. Beomgyu picked up his glass, tilting it slightly toward you. "To finishing most of the album in one day."
You huffed, clinking your glass against his. "To having nothing better to do than drag me to a bar."
Beomgyu just grinned before taking a sip. The beer was cold, smooth, the kind that went down easily after a long day. And as much as you hated to admit it, this, the warmth of the place, the comfort of the food, the quiet hum of conversation around you, felt nice.
You set your glass down, glancing at him. "Alright," you muttered. "You win. This isn’t terrible."
Beomgyu smirked, leaning in slightly. "High praise coming from you."
You scoffed, taking another sip. "Don’t get used to it."
And then, the food arrived. Plates of sizzling meat, steaming side dishes, the aroma so good that your stomach twisted with hunger. Beomgyu grabbed a pair of tongs, flipping the short ribs on the grill, moving with too much ease.
You eyed him. "You really come here a lot."
He smirked. "Told you."
You sighed, watching as he expertly cooked the meat, barely thinking before reaching for the lettuce wraps, stacking up the perfect bite, then placing it in front of you. Your eyebrows lifted. "Are you seriously making me food right now?"
Beomgyu shrugged, sipping his beer. "What, you want me to feed it to you, too?"
You scoffed. "I can make my own wrap, Beomgyu."
"Yeah, but I already did it." He nodded toward the plate. "So eat."
You rolled your eyes but took it anyway, biting into the warm, flavorful wrap. You weren’t sure if it was the exhaustion, the hunger, or the fact that Beomgyu was sitting so close, watching you eat with an amused expression, but something about this moment made your chest feel too full. You pushed the thought away.
"So?" he asked, watching you chew.
You swallowed, setting your chopsticks down. "It’s fine."
He snorted. "You are so bad at compliments."
"No," you corrected, taking another sip of beer. "I just don’t like boosting your ego."
Beomgyu grinned. "Too late for that."
The conversation flowed easier after that. The second beer turned into a third. The food disappeared, leaving just the sound of clinking glasses, the occasional glance that lingered too long, the way your shoulders brushed when you leaned forward to reach for something.
Somewhere between another drink and another teasing remark, you realized something: You were having fun. And Beomgyu knew it. His smirk never wavered, his eyes never left yours for too long, his voice never dropped that teasing lilt that made your pulse stutter more than it should. And maybe it was the alcohol. Or maybe it was just him.
But as you sat there, half-listening to him ramble about some ridiculous story, you realized, you didn’t really want the night to end. And by the time the last plate had been cleared and the third beer had been emptied, you were warm all over. Not drunk. Just loose.
The world felt a little softer around the edges, your limbs lighter, your thoughts slower but comfortable. Beomgyu, across from you—no, beside you, because he had sat next to you like it was the most natural thing in the world—was in the same state, his body relaxed, his usual sharp-edged energy dulled by alcohol and good food.
You tapped your fingers idly against the table, staring at the condensation on your glass. "So," you muttered, "you never told me—what do you think of the album name?"
Beomgyu blinked, then frowned slightly, turning his head to look at you properly. "What album name?"
You exhaled, stretching your arms over your head. "The one Baekhyun’s thinking about. ‘Files of Romance.’"
His reaction was instant. Beomgyu made a face like you had just told him the worst news imaginable. "Nah, not my personal taste."
You raised an eyebrow. "You hate it that much?"
"Hate is a strong word—" he paused, reconsidering. "—but yeah, I fucking hate it."
You laughed. "Why?"
Beomgyu turned in his seat, facing you fully now, one arm resting on the back of your chair. "Because it sounds like some 2010 Wattpad fanfiction. ‘Files of Romance’—what is this, a collection of love letters? A secret diary? An unfinished manuscript?*"
You smirked, tilting your head. "It’s poetic."
"It’s cheesy," he corrected.
You rolled your eyes, taking another sip of beer. "Okay, then what would you call it?"
Beomgyu hummed, thinking for a moment. Then, he looked at you. And something in his gaze shifted. His smirk faded, not completely, but enough for you to notice the way his expression softened slightly. "Romance: Untold."
The words settled between you like something heavy. Your fingers stilled against your glass. "Untold?"
He nodded. "Because that’s what this album is, isn’t it? All these songs, all these stories—" he tapped his fingers against the table, voice dropping slightly. "It’s about things people don’t say out loud. Feelings left unsaid. The in-between moments, the things you can’t admit, the things you only let yourself feel when no one’s looking."
Suddenly, this wasn’t about the album anymore. Beomgyu wasn’t looking at you like a producer talking about work. He wasn’t critiquing an idea, wasn’t just throwing out another title. He was talking about you and him.
Your lips parted slightly, heart picking up speed. "That’s…" you hesitated. "That’s actually not bad."
Beomgyu grinned. "Not bad? Come on, admit it—you like it."
You exhaled, shaking your head. "You’re impossible."
"And you’re predictable," he countered easily, taking another sip of his beer. "You act like you hate everything I say, but deep down, you know I’m right most of the time."
You scoffed. "Most of the time?"
"Mm-hmm." He leaned in slightly, his smirk turning just a bit more smug. "Like right now."
Your eyes narrowed. "Beomgyu—"
"Say it," he murmured, voice lower now, the playful edge still there but thicker, like something else was creeping beneath it. "Say you like the name."
You exhaled sharply, pressing your lips together. He was so annoying. But also, he was right. You sighed. "Fine. It’s… a good name."
Beomgyu smirked, triumphant. "See? I always win."
You rolled your eyes, taking another sip. "You don’t always win."
"Pretty close to always," he teased, nudging your leg under the table. "And anyway—" his gaze flickered over you briefly before settling on your lips. "I get the feeling you like it when I win."
You swallowed, shifting in your seat, trying to ignore the way your skin felt hot under his gaze. "You’re drunk."
Beomgyu smirked. "Tipsy."
"Same thing."
"Not even close." His fingers tapped against his glass, his smirk lingering. "You just don’t wanna admit I’m fun outside of work."
You snorted. "Fun is a strong word."
"And yet," he murmured, leaning in slightly, "you’re still here."
He wasn’t wrong. You could’ve left at any time. You could’ve said no to this drink. You could’ve cut this conversation short the second it started feeling like more than just talking. But you didn’t. And now, sitting here, so close to him, so aware of every movement he made, every glance, every shift in his voice, you couldn’t pretend that it was just because of the album anymore.
You cleared your throat, forcing yourself to look away. "We should probably head out soon."
Beomgyu hummed, like he knew exactly what you were doing but didn’t feel like calling you out on it. "Yeah, yeah."
Neither of you moved. Instead, he let his arm stretch across the back of your chair, fingers tapping against the wood in a slow, easy rhythm. "Romance: Untold," he repeated, more to himself now. "Yeah. I like it."
You exhaled. "Me too."
And somehow, you knew, this wasn’t just about the album. This was about you and him. The story neither of you had told yet. But one that, deep down, you both knew was already being written.
The night air was cooler now, a crisp contrast to the warmth still buzzing under your skin from the drinks. The street outside the bar was quiet, only the occasional car passing by, headlights flickering against the pavement.
Beomgyu stretched his arms over his head, then shoved his hands into his pockets. "Alright, let’s get you home."
You raised an eyebrow. "You’re not driving."
"Obviously not," he said, rolling his eyes. "I’m not a fucking idiot."
You let out a breathy laugh. "So what’s your plan?"
Beomgyu tilted his head, smirking. "Gonna take the subway with you."
You blinked. "You don’t have to do that."
"I know." He started walking. "Come on."
You hesitated, but ultimately followed, falling into step beside him. The subway station wasn’t far. The streets were quieter here, the hum of neon signs flickering against the damp pavement. It felt… nice. Comfortable. Like the two of you had slipped into something easier than usual.
The train arrived just as you stepped onto the platform. You both boarded, sliding into a seat near the back of the car. "So," you mused, resting your head against the window. "Tell me something I don’t know about you."
Beomgyu hummed, stretching his legs out in front of him. "Something good or something stupid?"
"Good," you said. "And don’t say something obvious."
Beomgyu smirked, tapping his fingers against his knee. "I’ve wanted to do music since I was ten."
You blinked. "Really?"
"Yeah." He leaned back, gaze flickering up toward the train ceiling like he was remembering something. "I used to listen to my older brother’s CDs all the time—Nirvana, Radiohead, The Strokes, My Bloody Valentine. I’d sit in my room with those shitty little wired headphones and just obsess over the sounds, the production, the way the lyrics hit different when you were alone in the dark."
You tilted your head, watching him. "I never took you for a rock band guy."
Beomgyu scoffed. "What, you think I only listen to industry shit?"
"I mean… kinda."
He clutched his chest dramatically. "Wow. The disrespect."
You laughed. "Okay, okay. What’s your favorite album of all time?"
Beomgyu exhaled, tapping his fingers against the seat. "Damn. That’s hard."
"Come on," you nudged his knee with yours. "You’re a music guy. You have to have a number one."
He thought for a second. "‘Loveless’ by My Bloody Valentine."
Your brows lifted. "Shoegaze?"
"Shoegaze," he confirmed. "That album changed me."
You smirked. "Oh, so it’s that serious?"
"It’s life-changing serious," he said. "I mean, listen to ‘When You Sleep’ and tell me that shit doesn’t make you wanna dissolve into the floor."
You chuckled. "Okay, fine. I’ll listen."
"You better."
The conversation flowed easily after that. Beomgyu rambled about different albums, breaking down the exact moment he fell in love with certain sounds, which producers he admired, which live performances made him feel something real.
And you listened. Really listened. Because even though he talked a lot—too much, sometimes—this was different. This was Beomgyu talking about the thing he loved. And it made you want to know more.
By the time you reached your stop, the train car was nearly empty. The streets were quieter now, the air even cooler. Beomgyu walked beside you, hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his usual smirk still tugging at his lips. And then, without warning, his arm slung over your shoulders.
You stiffened. "What the hell are you doing?"
Beomgyu grinned. "Relax. You looked cold."
You scoffed, but didn’t pull away. "You just wanted an excuse to be annoying."
"And?" he teased. "Is it working?"
"Always."
Beomgyu chuckled, squeezing your shoulder lightly before letting his arm stay there, draped over you like it belonged there. And, for some reason, you let it. By the time you reached your apartment building, the air between you had shifted again, lighter, charged, something humming just beneath the surface.
Beomgyu turned to face you, his smirk softer now. "Well, that was fun."
You raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You admit I’m fun now?"
"I didn’t say that." He grinned. "I said that was fun."
You rolled your eyes, stepping toward your door. "Whatever."
But before you could reach for the handle, Beomgyu caught your wrist. You turned. And suddenly, he was right there. Closer than he had been all night. The teasing was gone from his face. His eyes flickered between yours, his fingers still wrapped loosely around your wrist. And then, he leaned in. Slowly. Deliberately. Like he was giving you time to stop him.
But just as his lips were inches from yours, the door swung open.
"Well," Yeonjun’s voice rang out, amusement laced through every word. "What do we have here?"
Your stomach dropped. Beomgyu’s entire body went rigid. Yeonjun grinned, stepping onto the porch, holding a tied-up trash bag in one hand. "I was just taking out the garbage, but this is much more interesting."
You groaned, pulling away from Beomgyu instantly. "Yeonjun."
"What?" Yeonjun feigned innocence, looking between the two of you. "I didn’t know we were having late-night meetings outside the apartment."
Beomgyu exhaled sharply, pressing his fingers against his temple. "Great timing, dude."
"I try my best." Yeonjun smirked. "So… are you gonna kiss, or should I give you some privacy?"
"Yeonjun, I swear to God—"
"Alright, alright, I’m going!" He held up his hands, stepping off the porch with a laugh. "But we will be talking about this later, Y/N."
You shot him a glare as he disappeared down the walkway, humming to himself. The second he was out of earshot, you huffed. "Unbelievable."
A beat of silence passed. "So…" Beomgyu shifted, glancing at you. "Where were we?"
A slow smirk tugged at Beomgyu’s lips. His head tilted slightly, his eyes flickering down to your mouth, just for a second, just enough for your breath to catch. He was waiting. Waiting to see if you’d push him away, if you’d roll your eyes and disappear inside, if you’d cut this tension off before it turned into something real.
But you didn’t. And that was all he needed. Beomgyu took a slow step forward, closing the space between you with the kind of confidence that sent your heart slamming against your ribs. His fingers brushed against yours, hesitant for only a moment before he tilted his chin down, leaning in. And then, finally, he kissed you.
It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t urgent or rough or anything close to what you had before. It was gentle. Soft in a way that made your stomach flip, slow in a way that made your knees feel weak, like he had all the time in the world to memorize the way you felt beneath his lips. Beomgyu wasn’t pushing. He wasn’t taking. He was giving. And you let yourself take it.
Your fingers curled against the front of his jacket, tugging slightly as you kissed him back, sinking into the warmth of it, the quiet rightness of it. Beomgyu let out a soft sound against your lips, half a sigh, half a laugh, before tilting his head slightly, deepening the kiss just enough to make your stomach tighten.
His hand came up, brushing against your cheek, fingers tracing the line of your jaw, slow and deliberate, like he was trying to remember this. Like he had wanted this for too long. You could feel his smile against your mouth, feel the way his fingers flexed slightly, like he wanted to pull you closer but was holding back.
And then, someone cleared their throat. Loud. Pointed. Beomgyu stilled for half a second, then pulled back, blinking like he had just been shaken out of something. Slowly, almost painfully, you turned toward the sound.
Yeonjun. Standing in the hallway. Arms crossed. Smirking. "Really?" he mused. "Right outside the door?"
Your stomach dropped. "Yeonjun—"
"You guys didn’t even wait five minutes after I left?" he continued, shaking his head. "Damn, Beomgyu. You work fast."
Beomgyu groaned, dragging a hand over his face. "For the love of God—"
Yeonjun just grinned as he stepped inside. "Don’t let me stop you. I was just coming back."
You wanted to die. You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. Beomgyu exhaled sharply, muttering something under his breath before taking a small step back, running a hand through his hair.
You cleared your throat, trying to ignore the way your skin burned. "I should go inside."
Beomgyu looked at you, his expression unreadable for half a second before he smirked. "Yeah. Probably."
You hesitated. "Goodnight, Beomgyu."
He tilted his head. "Goodnight, Y/N."
And then, because he couldn’t help himself, he leaned in one last time. A quick, teasing peck against your lips. Barely a second. Barely anything. But it sent your stomach spiraling.
Then, before you could even react, he turned toward the stairs, shoving his hands into his pockets. "See you at work," he called over his shoulder. And with that, he disappeared.
The second the door shut behind you, your back met the wood, and you let out a sharp breath. What the fuck just happened? Your fingers hovered over your lips, the ghost of Beomgyu’s kiss still lingering, the warmth of his touch still burning on your skin. Your heart was still racing, your mind still spinning, and—
"Oh, this is so good," Yeonjun’s voice cut through your spiral, full of glee.
You groaned. "Please. Shut up."
author's note: i hate to do this… but we’re getting a part 3. there was just too much to fit into this chapter, and things are about to get tense next time. if you want to be on the taglist for the next part, let me know in the comments!
ALSO i wrote this fic way before beomgyu even announced PANIC 😭😭 so pls go give him all the love bc he looks AMAZING the song is perfect and i swear the beomgyu i wrote is the same beomgyu who wrote panic did i just win????? 😭💘
synopsis: beomgyu is the absolute worst best friend to have a crush on. he’s loud, clingy, and always in your space—flopping on your bed, stealing your snacks, and treating your personal bubble like it owes him rent. the worst part? he’s recently gotten hot. like, dangerously hot. and lately, messing with him has become your new favorite hobby, especially when a little harmless teasing leaves him red-faced and malfunctioning.
you were just having fun testing his limits. until you accidentally pushed too far… and he pushed back.
genre: best friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff, comedy, suggestive content
warnings: heavy making out, suggestive content(no full smut), partial undressing, swearing, whiny!beomgyu, reader being a menace
note: first installment of my 2k celebration yayy! also this is based off beomgyu's part in "brain empty, just you". enjoyy!
word count: 4.6k
if you liked it please reblog or comment to give me your feedback! <3
2k event | next
the absolute worst part about having a crush on choi beomgyu is that he makes it impossible to not have a crush on him. which is ridiculous, because he’s also the most annoying person you’ve ever met. loud, clingy, and constantly in your space like a human shaped parasite. he flops onto your bed like he owns it, steals your snacks without remorse, and treats your personal bubble like it’s public property. and yet—here you are, stuck pining after your best friend like some tragic rom-com side character.
it’s a perfectly normal weekend afternoon, the kind meant for lazy reading or mindlessly scrolling through your phone, when your bedroom door flies open with a dramatic bang. you don’t even have to look up to know who it is.
"i’m dying," beomgyu announces, like he’s delivering breaking news, before collapsing face first onto your bed. the mattress dips under his weight, and you barely manage to save your phone from being crushed under his flailing limbs.
"you’re heavy," you grumble, shoving at his shoulder.
he doesn’t budge. instead, he rolls onto his back, arms spread wide like a starfish, stealing even more of your space. his hair is still damp from a shower, tousled and slightly messy, and—god, why does he have to smell so good? it’s unfair. like, illegally unfair. fresh soap and something faintly citrusy, mixed with that stupid cologne he swears isn’t for anyone’s benefit but his own. you hate that you notice. you especially hate that it makes your stomach do a stupid little flip.
"how’d you even get in here?" you mutter, trying to sound annoyed instead of painfully aware of how close he is.
"your mom let me in, duh," he says, grinning up at you like he’s won something. "she loves me."
"she has terrible taste," you shoot back, but there’s no real bite to it. beomgyu knows it, too, because his grin only widens.
without asking, he snatches your phone right out of your hands, thumb already swiping through your notifications like he has every right to. "who’s texting you?" he asks, squinting at the screen. "is this junho? since when do you talk to junho?"
you lunge for the phone, but he holds it just out of reach, laughing when you half-climb over him in your attempt to grab it. "give it back, you nosy loser—"
"make me," he taunts, wiggling the phone above his head.
you huff, resorting to digging your fingers into his side, right where you know he’s ticklish. beomgyu yelps, jerking away, but in the chaos, your fingers brush against the bare strip of skin where his shirt has ridden up.
the second you make contact, his whole body tenses like he’s been electrocuted. his breath hitches, just barely, and his cheeks go pink. not just a little flushed—full on, unmistakably red.
you freeze.
beomgyu, who’s always the one invading your space, who slings an arm over your shoulders without thinking, who leans into every casual touch like it’s nothing, just short-circuited because you touched him.
and oh.
oh, this is interesting.
a slow, dangerous grin spreads across your face. beomgyu’s eyes widen like he already knows what’s coming. "what?" he asks, voice slightly higher than usual. "why are you looking at me like that?"
"like what?" you ask innocently, letting your fingers trail lightly over his waist again, just to see what happens.
he jolts, nearly falling off the bed. "hey!"
you can’t help it. you laugh, delighted by this newfound power. "what’s wrong, gyu? you’re always all over me. can’t handle it when it’s the other way around?"
"shut up," he mumbles, but he’s not meeting your eyes anymore, his ears still burning.
and just like that, a game is born.
because if there’s one thing you love more than anything, it’s messing with choi beomgyu. and if there’s one thing he apparently can’t handle?
it’s you.
it starts as a game—just harmless teasing, really. you don’t even mean for it to become a thing. but the way beomgyu reacts every single time your fingers accidentally brush his skin, or when you lean just a little too close under the pretence of looking at his phone screen—it’s addictive. like poking a sleeping bear and watching it startle awake, all clumsy limbs and flustered noises.
at first, you tell yourself you’re just doing it to annoy him. payback for all the times he’s invaded your space without permission, flopped onto your bed like he owns it, stolen bites of your food with that infuriating smirk. but then you notice the way his breath hitches when your knee bumps his under the table. the way his fingers twitch like he wants to reach back whenever you "fix" his collar, your touch lingering a second too long. the way his voice goes just a little higher when you whisper something close to his ear, like you’re sharing a secret.
it’s fascinating.
beomgyu, who’s always been the clingy one, the one who drapes himself over you without a second thought, suddenly can’t handle it when you initiate contact. and the more you test it, the more obvious it becomes that he’s not just flustered. he’s affected.
so you escalate.
you start "accidentally" letting your hand rest on his thigh when you’re sitting side by side, pretending not to notice the way his entire body goes rigid. you lean against him more than necessary when you’re tired, tucking your face into the crook of his neck just to feel the way his pulse jumps under your lips. you play with his hair while he’s trying to focus on something, twirling the soft strands between your fingers until he groans and swats at your hand, his cheeks pink.
and the best part? he never stops you.
he complains, sure. he whines and calls you annoying and shoves at your shoulders halfheartedly. but he never actually pulls away. if anything he leans into it, like he’s trying to prove he can take it, like he’s determined not to let you win.
which is how you end up here: beomgyu sprawled across your lap like an overgrown cat, his head heavy on your thighs as he scrolls through his phone. you’re both supposed to be studying, but neither of you has opened a textbook in at least an hour. instead, you’re absentmindedly running your fingers through his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp the way you know makes him melt.
he’s trying so hard to act unaffected. but you can see the way his fingers have slowed on his screen, the way his breathing has evened out like he’s fighting not to sigh.
"you’re like a dog," you murmur, grinning when he cracks one eye open to glare at you.
"shut up," he mumbles, but there’s no real heat behind it.
you hum, dragging your nails gently down the back of his neck, and there—the full body shiver he tries (and fails) to suppress. you bite your lip to keep from laughing. "you good?"
"you’re the worst," he mutters, but he doesn’t move. doesn’t even try.
you’re about to tease him more, maybe poke his side, just to see him squirm, when suddenly, his hand shoots up and catches your wrust. your breath stutters.
beomgyu’s grip isn’t tight. it’s not rough or demanding. but the way his fingers circle your wrist, warm and firm, sends a jolt down your spine. your pulse jumps under his thumb.
for a second, neither of you moves.
then beomgyu tilts his head back to look at you, and—
oh.
his eyes are dark. not playful, not exasperated. just intense, in a way that makes your stomach flip.
"you’ve been messing with me all week," he says, voice low.
your throat feels dry. "i don’t know what you’re talking about."
he raises an eyebrow. "really."
"really," you say, but it comes out breathier than you mean it to.
beomgyu holds your gaze for a long, long second. then, slowly, he tugs your hand down—not away, but closer, until your palm is pressed flat against his chest. you can feel his heartbeat, rapid and unsteady, under your fingers.
"then keep going," he challenges, voice barely above a whisper. "since it’s nothing."
your brain short circuits.
because this—this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. he’s supposed to blush and sputter and shove you away like always. not dare you. not look at you like that.
your fingers twitch against his shirt.
beomgyu’s lips curl into a smirk. "what’s wrong?" he taunts, echoing your words from earlier. "can’t handle it when i push back?"
oh, it’s on.
you lean down before you can second guess yourself, your nose brushing his as you stop just short of his lips. his breath catches. "who said i was stopping?" you whisper.
beomgyu’s grip on your wrist tightens.
and then—
your mom calls your name from downstairs, and the moment shatters.
beomgyu jerks back like he’s been burned, nearly rolling off the bed in his haste. you yelp, grabbing his arm to steady him, but he’s already scrambling upright, running a hand through his hair like he can’t believe what almost happened.
"i—" he starts, then stops, his ears burning red. "we should—your mom’s calling."
you stare at him. he stares back.
then, slowly, a grin spreads across your face.
beomgyu groans, covering his eyes with one hand. "don’t."
"don’t what?" you ask, all innocence.
"you’re insufferable," he mutters, but he’s peeking at you through his fingers, and his lips are twitching like he’s fighting a smile.
you kick his shin lightly. "you love it."
he doesn’t deny it.
the thing about beomgyu is that he's always been tactile—always reaching for you, always in your space, always treating your personal boundaries like mild suggestions rather than actual rules. lately it’s gotten worse, with every touch feeling like something more. like there's electricity humming just beneath his skin, sparking where your fingers brush against him. and you can't stop poking at it, can't stop testing the limits of this new, fragile thing between you.
it's been days since the almost-moment on your bed, days of careful avoidance and pointed teasing and lingering touches that neither of you acknowledge. and now here you are, curled up in your room watching some b-list horror movie because beomgyu had whined until you gave in, his eyes doing that stupid, pleading thing you've never been able to say no to.
"this is so dumb," you mutter as the protagonist on screen wanders into yet another obviously haunted room. "why would anyone—"
"shhh," beomgyu interrupts, nudging your shoulder with his. "you're ruining the atmosphere."
"the atmosphere of what? bad cgi and worse acting?"
he gasps, pressing a hand to his chest like you've wounded him. "you take that back. this is cinematic gold."
you roll your eyes but don't protest further, settling back against your pillows. beomgyu shifts beside you, his arm brushing yours, warm and solid. you try to focus on the movie, you really do, but it's hard when he's right there, smelling like laundry detergent and that stupidly expensive cologne he pretends he doesn't carefully pick out. when he's close enough that you can see the way his lashes cast shadows on his cheeks in the dim light of your laptop screen.
then—
a sudden, earsplitting shriek comes from the movie, a grotesque face filling the frame, and you're lurching sideways before you can think, fingers digging into beomgyu's arm as you let out a startled yelp.
and beomgyu—
beomgyu squeaks.
it's high pitched and undignified and absolutely ridiculous coming from someone who spends half his time trying to act cool, and for a second, you're too stunned to even process it. then the sound registers, and you're turning to stare at him, mouth already opening to tease—
but the words die in your throat.
because beomgyu is frozen, his breath caught, his eyes wide and dark and fixed on you. your fingers are still wrapped around his arm, your nails pressing crescent moons into his skin, and you can feel the way his pulse jumps under your touch. the air between you is thick, heavy, the silence stretching taut like a wire about to snap.
your own breath stutters.
beomgyu's gaze drops to your mouth, just for a second, so quick you might have imagined it—but you didn't. you know you didn't, because your heart is suddenly pounding loud enough that you're sure he can hear it, your skin buzzing where you're touching him.
then—
the moment shatters.
beomgyu clears his throat, jerking his arm away like he's been burned, his cheeks flushing pink. "you—you scared me," he mutters, avoiding your eyes.
you blink. then, slowly, a grin spreads across your face. "i scared you?" you echo, leaning closer. "beomgyu. you squeaked."
"i did not—"
"you did," you crow, poking his side. "like a—like a mouse or something—"
beomgyu groans, covering his face with his hands. "oh my god, shut up—"
"a tiny, terrified little mouse—"
"i will end you," he threatens, but there's no real heat behind it, not when he's peeking at you through his fingers, his lips twitching like he's fighting a smile.
you laugh, bright and loud, and something in beomgyu's expression softens, his shoulders relaxing as he drops his hands. "you're the worst," he grumbles, but he's leaning into you again, his arm pressing against yours.
"you love me," you sing-song, nudging him with your knee.
beomgyu doesn't answer. just rolls his eyes and turns back to the movie, but you don't miss the way his fingers flex against his thigh, the way his breath hitches when you shift closer.
the movie plays on, the tension between you easing back into something familiar, something comfortable. but beneath it all, beneath the teasing and the bickering and the easy touches, there's something new. something fragile and unspoken and achingly sweet.
and you can't wait to poke at it some more.
the moment your selfie goes up, you know it's trouble. not because there's anything particularly scandalous about it—just you in your favourite going-out top, hair styled a little more carefully than usual, lips shiny with that gloss beomgyu always says smells like candy. but something about the angle, the way the light catches your collarbones, the hint of a smirk playing at your mouth—it feels dangerous. like you're dangling bait in front of a very specific, very excitable predator.
your phone vibrates in your hand before you can even set it down.
beomgyu: ????
beomgyu: where are you going looking like that
the message burns through you like a live wire. you can practically hear his voice—that particular tone he gets when he's trying (and failing) to sound casual, the way his pitch jumps just slightly when he's flustered. your fingers fly across the screen before you can think better of it.
you: why? you wanna come with?
beomgyu: thats not—
beomgyu: i was just asking bro
you bite your lip to keep from grinning. the three dots appear and disappear three times before you finally get:
beomgyu: ...are you meeting someone?
there it is. that tiny crack in his usual bravado. you're about to respond with something suitably teasing when your doorbell rings, an insistent, impatient buzz that could only belong to one person.
when you swing the door open, beomgyu is standing there looking unfairly good for someone who supposedly rushed over on a whim. his hair is slightly damp, curling at the ends like he just showered, and he's wearing that stupid tank top that shows off his arms, the one that makes your mouth go dry. in his outstretched hand dangles your charger—the one you're 90% sure you didn't leave at his place.
"you forgot this," he announces, pushing past you into your apartment and into your bedroom, like he owns it. the scent of his cologne, something warm and expensive that clings to all your hoodies after he wears them, fills the space between you.
you raise an eyebrow as you shut the door. "did i?"
"yes," he says, too quickly, already making himself at home on your bed. "you're so forgetful. it's a miracle you function without me."
you don't call him out on the obvious lie. instead, you lean against the doorframe and watch as he tries (and fails) to look casual, his fingers tapping an uneven rhythm against his thigh. the neckline of his tank top slips slightly with every movement, revealing more of his collarbones than strictly necessary.
"so," he says, eyes scanning your outfit with poorly concealed interest, "where are you going?"
"nowhere special," you say, moving to sit beside him. the bed dips under your weight, forcing his knee to bump against yours.
"then why do you look like that?"
"like what?" you lean in closer, watching with satisfaction as his breath hitches.
beomgyu's throat works as he swallows. "like... like you're trying too hard."
you gasp dramatically, pressing a hand to your chest. "rude. maybe i just wanted to look nice."
"for who?"
the question comes out sharper than he intended, his fingers twitching against the pillows scattered on your bed. something warm and pleased curls in your stomach at the possessive edge in his voice.
before you can answer, beomgyu suddenly flexes his arms, his biceps straining against the thin fabric of his sleeves. "you see this?" he says, grinning that stupid, cocky grin that makes you want to kiss it off his face. "this is what peak performance looks like."
you roll your eyes. "please. i could bench press you."
his eyes light up with that competitive gleam you know all too well. "oh, you wish."
"prove it."
the challenge hangs in the air for all of two seconds before beomgyu grabs the nearest pillow and smacks you square in the face with it. you shriek, more out of surprise than actual pain, and immediately retaliate by grabbing another pillow and swinging with all your might.
beomgyu blocks it effortlessly, laughing as you growl in frustration. "weak," he taunts, dodging your next swing. "come on, is that all you've got?"
in a flash of inspiration, you toss the pillow aside and lunge at him instead. beomgyu's eyes widen comically as you collide with him, sending you both tumbling across the mattress in a tangle of limbs. you end up straddling his hips, immediately going for his most vulnerable spots; his sides, just above his hips, where you know he's ticklish.
beomgyu shrieks, actually shrieks, his whole body jerking beneath you as he dissolves into breathless laughter. "s-stop—fuck—" he gasps, trying in vain to squirm away, but you've got him pinned, your fingers dancing mercilessly along his ribs.
"give up," you demand, grinning down at him.
"never," he chokes out between laughs, his face flushed pink, his hair a wild mess against your cushions.
you're both laughing so hard it hurts, the sound filling your apartment, and for a moment everything feels perfect. light. easy. like this is exactly where you're both meant to be.
then you realise.
your hands are splayed across his stomach, his abs flexing beneath your touch with every ragged breath he takes. his own hands have somehow found their way to your waist, his fingers pressing into your skin through the thin fabric of your top. the warmth of him seeps into you, his chest rising and falling rapidly beneath you, and suddenly you're hyper aware of every point of contact between you.
because—
oh.
oh no.
beomgyu is hot. like, stupidly, unfairly hot. the kind of hot that makes your mouth go dry and your thoughts scatter. his lips are parted as he tries to catch his breath, his eyes dark and fixed on you with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. the muscles in his arms are taut where they bracket your thighs, and suddenly all you can think about is how badly you want him to choke you.
before you can finish the thought, beomgyu moves.
in one smooth motion, he flips you over, reversing your positions with embarrassing ease. your back hits the plush mattress of your bed, his weight pressing into you just enough to make your pulse skyrocket. then his arm slides around your neck in a playful, but surprisingly firm chokehold, his biceps flexing against your throat.
your mind whites out.
your mouth, unfortunately, does not.
"god, that feels so good," you moan, the words slipping out unbidden, your voice embarrassingly breathy.
beomgyu freezes.
you freeze.
beomgyu stumbles back like you’ve just set him on fire, his entire face burning so red it’s a miracle he hasn’t spontaneously combusted. his mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, his hands flapping uselessly at his sides as he chokes on air. you’ve never seen him like this—beomgyu, who’s always so loud, so obnoxiously confident, reduced to a stammering, malfunctioning mess because of you.
your own heart is hammering so hard you’re surprised it hasn’t burst out of your chest yet, but the longer he stands there looking like his brain has short-circuited, the more the initial panic starts to melt into something dangerously close to amusement. because god, he’s such a loser. your loser. and before you can chicken out, before you can backtrack and play it off like a joke, the words are tumbling out of your mouth—
“i think i like you.”
beomgyu’s jaw drops. like, actually drops. his eyes go comically wide, his entire body freezing like you’ve just hit him with a stun gun. for a second, you’re terrified you’ve broken him completely, that he’s going to turn around and bolt out the door and never speak to you again. but then—
“what?” he chokes out, voice cracking embarrassingly.
you swallow, suddenly feeling exposed. “you heard me.”
“i—no, say it again.”
“no.”
“please.”
“beomgyu—”
he makes a noise that’s half-groan, half-whine, dragging his hands down his face before pacing across your room like a caged animal. his fingers keep tugging at his hair, his breathing uneven as he mutters to himself, and you can practically see the gears turning in his head, smoke nearly coming out of his ears from how hard he’s thinking.
you should probably be more nervous, but mostly you’re just endeared. and a little annoyed.
“you’re freaking out,” you point out, trying to sound casual even though your palms are sweating.
“yeah, no shit,” he snaps, spinning to face you with wild eyes. “you can’t just—you can’t just say that and expect me to be normal about it!”
“i didn’t expect anything! i was just—”
“just what? just casually dropping the bomb that you like me after moaning when i choked you—”
“oh my god, shut up—”
“no, because what the fuck—”
you groan, flopping back onto your bed and covering your face with your hands. this is a disaster. a nightmare. you should’ve just kept your mouth shut, should’ve played it off like a joke, should’ve—
“i like you too, idiot.”
your hands drop.
beomgyu is standing at the foot of your bed, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his cheeks still flushed but his gaze steady now. your breath catches.
“...what?”
he exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair again. “i like you. like, like like you. have for—fuck, i don’t even know how long.” his voice drops, softer now. “i just didn’t know how to deal with it. thought you didn’t see me that way.”
you sit up slowly, your pulse roaring in your ears. “...are you serious?”
“yes, i’m serious,” he mutters, looking away. “you think i’d be this much of a mess if i wasn’t?”
you stare at him. he stares back. the silence stretches between you, thick and charged, until—
you burst out laughing.
beomgyu’s face does something complicated, caught between offence and confusion. “why are you laughing?”
“because you’re such a disaster,” you wheeze, wiping at your eyes. “all this time, and you were just—god, you’re pathetic.”
“excuse me—”
“you heard me.”
he growls, actually growls, before closing the distance between you in two long strides. his hands cup your face, rough but gentle, and then his lips are on yours—hot, insistent, perfect.
you melt into it immediately, your fingers tangling in his hair as you kiss him back with all the pent up frustration of months of pining. beomgyu makes a noise low in his throat, something between a whimper and a groan, his grip tightening as he nips at your bottom lip. you gasp, and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours in a way that makes your stomach flip.
his hands roam your sides, slipping under the hem of your shirt to trace the bare skin of your waist. his fingers are warm, calloused from playing guitar, and the way they dig into your hips sends shivers down your spine. you arch into him, pressing closer, and he lets out this noise—this pathetic, whiny little sound that goes straight to your core.
you freeze for half a second. “bro, you good?” you whisper, half teasing, half wrecked yourself.
beomgyu groans, hiding his face in your neck. “do i look good?”
“fuck,” you breathe against his lips.
beomgyu pulls back just enough to look at you, his pupils blown wide, his lips swollen and shiny. “you—you’re killing me,” he whines, his voice wrecked already.
you grin, dragging him back down. “good.”
he kisses you again, messier this time, his hands sliding up your back to fumble with the clasp of your bra. he’s terrible at it, his fingers clumsy, and he groans in frustration when he can’t get it undone.
“help me,” he mumbles against your mouth, his cheeks burning.
you laugh, reaching behind you to undo it for him, and the way his eyes darken when he realises what you’ve done is priceless. his hands slide up your bare back, his touch hesitant at first, like he can’t believe he’s allowed to do this.
“you’re so pretty,” he murmurs, his voice shaky as his fingers trace the curve of your spine. “fuck, you have no idea—”
you cut him off with another kiss, rolling so you’re straddling his hips. his hands immediately fly to your waist, gripping you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go. you grind down experimentally, and the way his breath hitches, the way his fingers dig into your skin—god, you could get addicted to this.
“please,” he whimpers, his hips jerking up involuntarily. “please, i—fuck, i can’t—”
you lean down to nip at his earlobe, grinning when he shudders. “can’t what?” you whisper.
“you know what,” he groans, his hands sliding up your thighs. “you’re evil.”
you laugh, kissing him again, slower this time, savouring the way he melts under you. when you finally pull away, his forehead rests against yours, his breathing ragged.
“fuck, fuck—” he’s babbling now, his usual eloquence completely gone as he kisses down your neck, your collarbones, his teeth scraping lightly over your skin. “you’re—shit, you’re so pretty, i can’t—fuck—”
you tug at his hair, pulling him back up to kiss him properly, swallowing his desperate noises. his hands are shaking where they grip your thighs, his breath coming in ragged pants against your lips.
“beomgyu,” you murmur, your voice low and teasing. “you’re such a mess.”
he groans, dropping his forehead to your shoulder. “you did this,” he mumbles, his lips brushing your skin. “you turned me into this.”
you hum, running your fingers through his hair. “and you love it.”
he lifts his head just enough to glare at you, but there’s no heat behind it—just fond exasperation and so much want it makes your chest ache. “yeah,” he admits, his voice rough. “i really fucking do.”
☕︎ genre: fluff, friends to lovers, mutual pining, slowburn, jealousy, café au
☕︎ synopsis: years of working at the café have left you hopelessly in love with your co-worker, beomgyu. unbeknownst to you, he's been hiding the same feelings, but neither of you dared to make the first move. when a job offer threatens to pull you away, the delicate balance between you and him is put to the test. will you risk taking the chance or let it slip away in regret?
☕︎ a/n: mainly inspired by the song take a chance with me by niki and also a thousand miles by vanessa carlton. repost because i accidentally deleted the original (╥﹏╥)
☕︎ taglist: @bamgeutori @bamgyt @woncheecks
The chime of a bell caught your attention as the front door swung open. Your head jerked up as Beomgyu walked in. An apologetic smile adorned his face, his hair was slightly disheveled, and his backpack hung off one shoulder, wrinkling his tee.
“Look who finally showed up.” Soobin said.
“Sorry, I'm late. Some errands got in the way.” Beomgyu sheepishly said as he hurriedly made his way into the kitchen, flashing you a smile before disappearing behind the door.
“Hey, Y/N, could you finish up this order for me?” Soobin asked. “I'm running late for class so I'll just count the cash in the register before turning it over.”
“Yeah, go ahead. I’ve got you covered.” You said, swapping places with him at the coffee machine.
He had already finished preparing the ingredients for the hazelnut frappe and all that was left for you to do was assemble the drink together. After four years of experience working at the café to fund your college education, you’ve memorized all the recipes like the back of your own hand. Making them was just like clockwork.
You grabbed a plastic cup, drizzled it with syrup before filling it with ice. Then you carefully poured in the coffee, followed by milk, and lastly, the whipped cream—which was nowhere to be found inside of the fridge.
“Soobin! We’re all out of whipped cream. Why did you let a customer order a frappe and then forget about the whipped cream?!”
“What?! Didn't you do inventory earlier?” He asked, pausing from counting.
“Is the sky blue? Of course, I did! But sometime during your shift, you used up all the whipped cream and didn't tell me! Or even bothered to make some!” You were stressing out and it took every ounce of restraint in your body not to hit him upside the head.
“Calm down, tiger. Let me take care of that.” Beomgyu finally emerged from the kitchen in his apron and wrapped an arm around you as he gave your shoulder a squeeze. “I'll talk to the customer while you go grab the heavy whipping cream from the stocks. Breathe, okay? I don't want you to get an aneurysm over whipped cream.”
You inhaled sharply and sighed before walking off into the kitchen. Beomgyu turned to Soobin, who lowered his head, feeling guilty over the mishap.
“Sorry about that.” He said.
“Don't take it personally. Y/N just really cares a lot about working here. That's why they get worked up when something goes wrong.” Beomgyu reassured him.
“I know, but…” Soobin trailed off, glancing at the kitchen door before continuing his sentence. “Don’t you think Y/N has been super stressed lately? They're always so tense while working.”
Indeed, Beomgyu noticed this. He started working at the café a year after you began. He was the third trainee you had supervised and the second longest-serving employee after you. Due to this, the both of you were extremely close and even considered each other best friends. He quickly caught on to your quirks which made it easy for him to read your mood. So every little detail and any slight change would never go unnoticed by Beomgyu.
However, he knew this wasn't just any change of mood. You finally graduated from college four months ago but you were still working at the café. Despite sending out numerous job applications you could no longer count, not a single one had called back to say you were hired. To say you were anxious or troubled would be an understatement.
Beomgyu was well-aware that underneath the tough exterior, you were threatening to fall apart any moment. Another minor inconvenience too heavy to bear and it would tip off the entire tower. It was only a matter of time, like a fuse burning low. He had to make sure he was there to keep you from shattering under the weight of it all.
“I know, but don't worry about it. I'll talk to Y/N.” He said, patting Soobin on the back. “Just focus on that. You wouldn't wanna make a mistake with the money. The boss is the last person you'd want to get on the wrong side of. Also, could you point out who ordered the frappe?”
Soobin directed the other boy's gaze to a woman sitting in the corner of the café. Beomgyu approached her to apologize for the delay in her order and ensured that you were all working on it as promptly as you could. She didn’t seem to mind, smiling graciously before he left. As he returned to the counter, you walked out of the kitchen with a carton of heavy whipping cream in one hand.
“Great, you found it.” He said.
“Yeah but it’s staying in the freezer for a few minutes. I’m gonna have to put the hazelnut frappe in there too.” You said, turning around to reach over for the cup but Beomgyu was already handing it to you. As you took it, your hands brushed and what felt like a jolt of electricity shot up your arm, hot and sudden, causing your heart to skip a beat.
“Thanks.” You mumbled, swiftly turning your face away from him before he could catch the shift in your expression.
“Well, I’m clocking out now. Everything is balanced and double-checked.” Soobin shut the cash register with a click and took off his apron. “Sorry again about the whipped cream, Y/N.”
“It’s all good, just don’t forget next time.” You said before he headed off into the kitchen to grab his stuff from the lockers.
You shut the refrigerator door and dusted your hands off. Beomgyu was leaning against the counter, resting his weight on his elbows, silently watching you with an unreadable look. It made you uncomfortable, not in a creepy way, but more like nervousness that you were unable to tell what he was thinking.
It wasn’t the first time—and lately, it had been happening more often. Like he wanted to say something but couldn’t despite the pressure bubbling, building up inside of him. Although the silence between you was thick, whatever was holding him back was growing thinner by the day. It was only a question of when it would burst.
Soon, Soobin walked out of the door and all the tension in the air dissipated. He waved goodbye as he left and now, it was just you and Beomgyu in charge of the café. You went to clean the coffee machine while he took charge of bussing the tables before disappearing into the kitchen for a few minutes to wash the dishes.
In the meantime, a couple of customers came in and you took their orders. Beomgyu assisted you in preparing and serving them as soon as he came back, then eventually moved on to making the whipped cream.
This is what you liked about working with Beomgyu. The two of you were just so in sync with each other that it made working at the café seem like a piece of cake. Maybe it was the years of experience or the number of shifts you worked together, but either way, nothing could go wrong with Beomgyu around. He was your right hand.
“Excuse me!” Called a voice from the pickup side of the counter—it was the customer who ordered the frappe from about fifteen minutes ago.
“I’ll be with you in a sec!” Beomgyu said, finally topping the drink with a swirl of whipped cream and some more syrup. Then he sealed the cup with a dome lid, slipped it and a straw into a takeaway holder before handing it to her. “Thank you for waiting, we’ll make sure it won’t take this long next time.”
“You know, if the wait always ends with you handing me my drink, I wouldn’t mind waiting again.” She said and your ears sharpened, zeroing in on them like the instincts of a guard dog. She took the drink with a smile that lingered a little too long for your liking.
Beomgyu blinked, caught slightly off guard.
She giggled, then tilted her head. “Wait… have we met before? Oh, I know! Did you take Introductory Biostatistics last semester? Professor Hong’s class?”
“Oh… um… yeah! I-I think so…” Beomgyu blinked again while stumbling over his own words. “You’re um… sorry, I forgot your name.”
“It’s Doah. Beomgyu, right?” She tucked her hair behind her ear, still smiling coyly.
You felt steam coming out of your ears as you gripped way too tightly onto a dishcloth, scrubbing aggressively on an already spotless counter. Her voice was laced with honey, a little too sweet to be casual, but hearing it filled you with venom.
“Lucky guess! You just read that off my nametag, didn’t you?” He chuckled, shifting on his feet as he shot you a look. The kind that screamed ‘HELP ME’ with his eyes.
But you dared not to look in their direction. Not when you wanted to grab the kettle and toss it in her direction.
Doah laughed again. “Yeah, I actually never got your name. But I remembered your face. Pretty impressive how I pay attention to detail, huh?”
“Didn’t pay enough attention in class, clearly.” You muttered under your breath, moving on to cleaning the portafilter, nearly dropping the filter basket. Fortunately, you caught it in your hand. Unfortunately, it was piping hot and you instantly threw it in the sink where it clanged loudly against the metal surface.
“You okay?” Beomgyu asked, turning around to check on you.
“Oh, I’m fine.” You said and waved a hand dismissively.
Doah cleared her throat and leaned closer. “It’s really nice seeing you around again. Mind if we exchanged socials? We could follow each other on Instagram.”
Boy, was she persistent. It was pretty admirable yet so aggravating.
You took a peek from the corner of your eye and saw Beomgyu hesitate for half a second. Then he smiled faintly, the kind that was shown to others as a gesture of politeness rather than interest.
“I guess we could.” He said but before he even got to finish his sentence, Doah was already handing him her phone.
The moment their fingers touched, you bit back your irritation as Beomgyu keyed his Instagram into her phone.
“There. I just sent a follow request,” she said while taking her phone back. Then Doah smirked. “And maybe next time, you can forget about my whipped cream on purpose.”
Beomgyu gave a tight-lipped smile. “Hopefully not. We're actually trying to do better in that department.”
That made her blink, smile faltering and charm wavering for a split second. But she recovered fast. “Well… see you around then.”
And with that she scurried out of the café, bell above the door chiming as she left. Beomgyu stepped away from his spot and stood next to you, letting out a breath he had no idea he had been holding in.
“You certainly handled that well.” You said, fidgeting with the check spindle on the counter.
If you weren't seething with jealousy right now, you'd have told him she was cute and he just blew it. But you'd never say it to his face because that would only mean having to come to terms with your feelings. And it was scary to admit it out loud, even to yourself, that you had fallen for him sometime ago.
“Handled? What's that supposed to mean?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows at you.
“Come on, she was ogling you. And she gave you her Instagram! You can’t be this dense.” You rolled your eyes, accidentally tearing off a receipt from the check spindle a little too hard.
He let out a short laugh, not buying your faux casual act. “I knew what she was up to. I was just being polite to the customer.”
“Yeah… real polite.” You forced a lightness into your tone that didn’t quite reach your eyes.
“You sound like you didn’t want me to be polite.” He grinned playfully and snatched your hand to keep you from tearing out more receipts. “That’s enough.”
“That’s not what I said!” You scoffed, yanking your hand out of his grasp.
“No, but maybe it’s what you meant.”
“Alright, this conversation is over. Since you’re soooo polite, maybe you should follow her back. I don’t care what you do, Beomgyu.” You walked away to find a new pointless task to do and settled with restacking the coffee cups.
Beomgyu chortled, following you from behind. “Really? Because it seems to me like you do care, though.”
You turned to him sharply. “I said this conversation was over.”
“Fine, I’ll drop it.” He said, raising his hands in mock surrender, but the smirk on his lips said otherwise.
You huffed, directing your focus on aligning the stack of cups so perfectly it could have passed a military inspection. He lingered for a while, watching you with that same undecipherable look from earlier, then sighed.
“I’m deleting her follow request.” He said and took out his phone from his jeans. “She wasn’t my type, anyway.”
You froze mid-stack, the corner of your mouth twitching before you forced it back down to frown.
“Well, you’re pickier than I expected.” You said snarkily.
His lips curved slightly. “I guess I am.”
He was too close for comfort and you wondered if he could possibly hear your heart thrumming in your chest.
“What are you doing just standing there anyway? Go help out in the kitchen or something. Go away.” You hissed, pushing him out of the way as you marched off to the cash register.
Beomgyu knew he had gotten to you. You were too easy to read, much to his amusement. Although he enjoyed poking holes in the facade you put on, just to catch glimpses of the feelings you kept hidden, he knew all too well that he was wearing one of his own. His was woven from careful smiles and harmless teasing, a shield to keep his real emotions from spilling out. If he let even one thread loose, he feared everything would unravel—and you’d see just how much he felt for you.
Later that night, you closed up shop and got ready to go home. You waited for Beomgyu while he dragged down the metal gate over the café and secured the lock in place. Then he got up and dusted his pants as you handed him back his backpack.
“I can’t wait to sleep. My back is killing me.” You yawned, stretching your arms above your head.
“Me too. Want me to carry your bag for you?” He offered.
“No, you don’t have to. I’m good.” You said, but he was already pulling it off of you and though you resisted initially, he was too stubborn and you caved in. You muttered, “Thanks.”
The two of you walked in silence, exhausted from all the work you accomplished today. It was a pleasant night, the cool air against your skin, and the faint hum of the city enveloped you like white noise. Your footsteps against the pavement echoed into the dark as bats flitted overhead, casting shadows underneath the glow of the streetlights.
You arrived at the nearest bus stop and sat down, Beomgyu taking the seat right next to you. It was ten minutes until the next bus rolled up, the arrival time blaring brightly on the screen. It was quiet, save for the occasional car passing by and the faint ambulance siren from a distance.
Beomgyu leaned back, hands tucked in the pockets of his hoodie. His shoulder brushed against yours—too light to be deliberate, yet too lingering to be accidental. You stiffened, feeling the tension in the air rise. There it was again—the jolt of electricity that made your heart skip a beat. You were beginning to think he would make a very good defibrillator.
“I almost forgot to tell you, I got an email a while back and I have a job interview tomorrow!” You said, a wide smile blooming on your face.
“Really? That’s great! I hope you get it.” He said, beaming at you. “But what about your shift, though? Do you need me to take over?”
“Oh no, that’s taken care of. I talked to Yeonjun and he said he’ll handle it.” You replied, but you sounded way too casual about it for Beomgyu’s liking.
“You asked Yeonjun? Why him?” He pouted, realizing that he wasn’t the first person you considered, moreover, not the first person to receive the good news either.
“Well, he was the only one out of everyone else who won’t be busy tomorrow.”
I’m the last one to find out?! He wanted to say, but bit his tongue to keep it from spilling out. “But you could have asked me. I’ve been with you the entire time.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you mention that you have a quiz first thing tomorrow morning? You should be focusing on passing that instead of covering my shift.”
“Like I can't do both? You underestimate me.” He huffed and crossed his arms.
“It's not like that.” You chuckled, amused at how mopey he was being. “It's your last year in college. You can't afford any distractions this time around.”
“Who said you were distracting?”
“What?”
“Who said I was distracted?”
Silence stretched between you, as if time had frozen, and your gazes met. Beomgyu was still, his eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights—he dared not move a muscle, as if doing so made him invisible. Meanwhile, you blinked, unsure if you heard him correctly the first time. Then he shrugged, feigning nonchalance, before playfully bumping into your shoulder.
“I mean—” his voice cracked and he cleared his throat, stretching back as if he wasn’t internally panicking. “I’m perfectly capable of juggling my studies with work. It’s never been a problem for me before. What? Like it’s hard?”
He said it so whimsically, even adding in a quote from an excellent movie. But buried beneath his laughter, he was desperately hoping you would catch the bait he just threw. You couldn’t be fooled, though.
“What did you just say?” You asked, not ready to move on from his Freudian slip.
“I said I can multitask. It’s not a distraction if I’m helping you out.” He said nonchalantly as he ran his fingers through his hair and looked at the time on the bus schedule, anxiously bouncing his leg and praying you would just leave his little blunder alone.
You sighed in defeat and decided to let it go, although feeling a little frustrated. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Am I?” He turned to you with a smirk and nudged you with his elbow, suddenly in a teasing mood. “Then next time you’ve got news, maybe tell me first… before Yeonjun.”
His tone carried a subtle edge that you certainly didn’t miss, the pout reappearing on his lips.
“Noted, I’ll do better next time… but why does this bother you?” You asked, tilting your head, eyes searching for answers in the expression on his face.
“Because,” he said simply, “I like it when I’m the one you call first. Not after Yeonjun… or anyone else.”
This time, he locked eyes with you, his gaze steady and unflinching. A warmth swelled in your chest and crept up to your cheeks while chills ran down your body. His words echoed in your head, crossing a fine line between a plea and a confession, leaving you wondering if you should read into it or let it slip quietly away.
“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” You said in a low hushed whisper, almost as if you were too afraid to acknowledge the elephant in the room.
“Like what?” He asked, lips twitching into a smug yet gentle smile.
You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Nevermind.”
Before he could press you for an answer, the bus rolled up with a loud hiss and the doors slid open. You both got up from your seats and climbed aboard, leaving the moment full of unspoken feelings to linger at the bus stop, tucked away in the past where it would stay. However, the tension between you was stubborn, refusing to dissipate and remained with you for the rest of the ride.
It was early in the afternoon the following day when Beomgyu clocked in at work. Your absence at the café shadowed him like a raincloud hovering above his head. It’s not that he was against you being away for an important job interview—in fact, he was so ecstatic about it that he wished you luck over the call early this morning before leaving for class. He just missed having you around to spend time with and work like a ‘dynamic duo’ (a term he coined sometime ago). How he dreaded the day you would finally resign. Working at the café wouldn’t be the same without you.
“Looks like we’ve got an order on the delivery app.” Yeonjun said, taking a look at the POS device. “Two iced caramel macchiatos, a breakfast croissant, and… rose pasta.”
“You take the kitchen, I’ll handle the drinks.” Beomgyu said, already positioned at the coffee station.
Yeonjun hummed in approval and left the room. Just then, the bell above the door chimed and Beomgyu instinctively turned to greet the customer—only for his brain to system crash. Doah walked into the café, instantly locking eyes with him, and his mind blue-screened so hard it needed a forced reboot. Internally panicking, he bolted for the kitchen door, muttering about Yeonjun burning the pasta.
“Change of plans. I take the kitchen, you handle the drinks.” Beomgyu said, attempting to snatch the ladle out of the other boy’s hand.
“No way. I was here first!” Yeonjun shot back, shielding himself with his arm to keep the former from stealing it.
“Come on, just let me have this.” Beomgyu made another grab but Yeonjun stretched his arm far from his reach.
“Why are you acting so crazy? You broke the coffee machine, didn't you?” Yeonjun’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.
Beomgyu relented and sighed. “There’s a customer outside that I’d rather not deal with.”
“Why not?”
“She asked for my Instagram yesterday and followed me.”
Yeonjun raised a brow. “And how is that a problem?”
He hesitated, squirming. “Let’s just say Y/N isn’t fond of her.”
“Ohhh.” Yeonjun nodded knowingly, a mischievous grin spreading like wildfire on his face. “They’re jealous.”
“What?! That’s not what I said.” Beomgyu retorted.
“Trust me, it’s obvious. Still not my circus, not my monkeys.” Yeonjun said, turning the stove off and grabbing the other boy by his shoulders, then shoved him out of the kitchen. “Deal with it yourself.”
With that, Beomgyu was sent stumbling back to the counter where Doah was eyeing the pastries in the display case. Upon hearing him return, she glanced up with a bright smile as he straightened his apron, as if it somehow made him look less flustered.
“Find anything you like in there?” He quipped, shuffling behind the cash register like it was a shield, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process.
“Actually, there is something I like over…” She drawled as her fingers tiptoed across the counter and stopped just short of him, “here.”
Beomgyu let out a small squeak, mentally scrambling for words but coming up with none.
“Aha! Yes,” Doah cut in smoothly, her index finger sliding down the menu lying on top of the counter. “I’d like a hot pumpkin spice latte. To go, please.”
“Great taste!” He chuckled sheepishly and tapped a few buttons on the touch screen pad. “Would that be cash or card?”
Doah fished through her wallet, took out her money, and handed it to him. Beomgyu took it—indifferent to the way her hand brushed against his—opened the drawer to the cash register, and then handed over her change.
“This will probably take a while, we just have to finish up an order for delivery. Why don’t you take a seat first?” He said, stepping away from the cashier and returning to the coffee station.
“Yeah, take your time. I’d love to watch how you make the drinks.” She sat on a chair by the pickup side with her chin propped up in her palm.
Beomgyu pressed his lips together into a thin line. Doah’s flirting game was strong but he had no interest in playing along. Without you around, it wasn’t the same. Seeing the look of jealousy on your face, the sarcasm dripping off your words like venom, the way you distracted yourself with insignificant tasks—it was half the fun. No, all of it.
Without it, it just felt hollow. Like there was a you-shaped hole in his heart and he needed your presence to patch it up. Your attention was far more captivating than Doah’s and he knew he was hopeless if he still kept his feelings to himself.
But alas, he couldn't risk upsetting the perfect balance of the universe that allowed him to exist in the same time and place as you. He couldn't stand the thought of you pulling away should he cross the line beyond being friends. So instead, he swallowed it down, but it was like drowning at sea, the saltwater burning in his lungs.
“Watch out! Hot stuff coming through!” Yeonjun scurried out of the kitchen, holding a takeout box of freshly cooked rose pasta in his hands.
He set it down on the counter then went over to the display case to grab a breakfast croissant with a pair of tongs. Beomgyu gave the drinks a neat drizzle of caramel and capped them before carrying them over to the counter. He fit the cups into a takeaway holder as Yeonjun stood next to him, placing the food into a paper bag before sealing it with a stapler.
“Delivery rider should be here in about…” Yeonjun read off the screen of the delivery app, “three minutes.”
“Well, time for me to make that pumpkin spice latte.” Beomgyu wiped his hands dry on a dishtowel and returned to the coffee station.
Meanwhile, the other boy stood by the cash register, waiting for someone to arrive and claim the order. He glanced to the side and caught sight of Doah, who had been patiently waiting in her seat, scrolling through her phone but peeking every now and then at Beomgyu. It did not take long for him to piece two and two together. A cheeky smirk formed on his face as he sauntered towards his co-worker.
“Is that her? She is pretty cute.” Yeonjun teased, nudging him.
“Cut it out.” Beomgyu muttered, pouring milk into a steel cup and turning on the steamer, releasing a sharp hiss. He purged out the excess water before lifting the cup to the nozzle, the milk frothing and a sweet scent filling the air.
Yeonjun took one more glance at Doah. She had lost interest in her phone and was now watching them curiously. He turned back to Beomgyu whose eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as he carefully tilted the cup, the milk swirling in a gentle vortex.
“You know, I can see why Y/N would feel threatened.”
“Threatened?” Beomgyu let out an incredulous scoff. “The only threat here is this boiling milk to your face.”
Before Yeonjun could clap back at him, the bell chimed and a man walked in. Outside was a motorcycle with a delivery box parked by the curb.
“And that's my cue.” He stepped away to hand over the takeout order to the delivery rider.
The cup in Beomgyu’s hand grew warmer, the milk slowly rising to the brim. He held it in his hands for a few more seconds until it was almost too hot to touch and set the cup aside. He twisted the knob on the machine and turned off the steamer.
Once the drink was blended, he grabbed a paper cup from the neatly stacked pile you had unnecessarily fussed over yesterday—he giggled at the image of you with a pout etched on your face, eyebrows knit together as you refused to look his way—and poured the warm pumpkin spice latte into it, topping it with whipped cream and a dash of cinnamon powder.
“Here you go. Be careful, it’s hot.” Beomgyu slid the cup across the counter towards Doah.
“Funny, I was about to say the same about you.” She said with a playful glint in her eyes and took the cup.
Beomgyu quickly pulled his hand away and tugged at his apron, straightening it again like he always did when he was nonplussed by her flirty remarks. This did not go unnoticed by Doah who giggled at his reaction, stirring her latte idly.
“So… I’m guessing you must have had a busy day yesterday?” She asked.
“Well, we were quite preoccupied. Lots of customers—especially in the evening.” He answered. “Why’d you ask?”
“Well…” she tilted her head, the kind of move that might have made his chest tighten if it had been you. From Doah, though, it fell flat. “I understand work must have been so hectic and you probably forgot to follow me back.”
He never intended to. In fact, he had already deleted her follow request immediately after she left the café yesterday. Doah showing up again only proved how impressively persistent she was. Beomgyu’s ears tinged with pink, realizing she must have found out.
“I–uh… yeah, I totally forgot all about it,” he stammered, taking a dishrag and wiping the counter clean. “I was just so tired, I went right to sleep as soon as I got home.”
“It’s fine… I was just hoping to wake up to your cute face on my feed,” she said and brought the cup to her lips before stopping short a few millimeters. “But I guess seeing you here in person is even better.” She winked and then took a sip.
“Oh, don’t waste your time.” Yeonjun appeared out of nowhere, casually slinging an arm around Beomgyu’s shoulders, a teasing grin on his face. “He’s already taken. That barista he was with yesterday? Yeah, they’re totally dating. Aren’t you, Beomgyu?”
Doah’s eyes went wide, taken aback as she stared at him, waiting for his response. He stood there for a moment, blinking and utterly appalled at Yeonjun’s sheer audacity to lie. There was a smirk on his face so wide as if he had just dropped the juiciest gossip. Before the awkwardness could thicken, Beomgyu knew he had to take matters into his own hands.
He opened his mouth and all he could come up with was, “Yeonjun!”
“Oh, shit!” He slapped a palm to his forehead, feigning shock. “I forgot you guys were still keeping it a secret,” then he lowered his hand and turned to Doah, the smirk returning to his face. “But between you and me, they weren’t exactly subtle about it. He still blushes when he gets a text from Y/N. He’s completely smitten—”
“Alright, I think you’ve said enough.” Beomgyu snatched a napkin from the dispenser and slapped it over Yeonjun’s mouth.
Doah laughed, yet the sound of her voice quickly wavered and her smile did not reach all the way up to her eyes. She took another sip of her pumpkin spice latte, but longer this time, as her gaze drifted to the side in thought. Once she set the cup down, she stood from her seat and slung her bag over her shoulder.
“Well, I guess that explains a lot.” She glanced one last time at Beomgyu, wearing a smile that dimmed at the edges. “Lucky Y/N. I’ll just have to settle for my latte then.”
Then she grabbed her cup and left the café, like a soldier retreating from a lost battle. The bell clinked and then there was silence. Beomgyu whirled around immediately, seizing Yeonjun by the shoulders.
“Are you crazy?!” He shrieked, shaking the older boy so hard his head bobbed. “You told her I’m dating Y/N! What if they hear about this? They’ll kill me!”
Yeonjun laughed, prying the younger boy’s hands off. “Relax. You can’t be more wrong. Did you really think I was making all of that up?"
Beomgyu froze, his already pink ears glowing into a bright red. “W-What the fuck do you mean by that?”
“Seriously, Beomgyu?” Yeonjun crossed his arms. “Anyone with eyes can see that you and Y/N like each other.”
Beomgyu scoffed and ran his fingers through his hair, pacing behind the counter. “You can’t be more wrong. Just because we’ve been working here the longest, it only makes sense that we’re really close friends, but it doesn’t mean we like each other.”
“Sure.” The older boy rolled his eyes. He held his arm out to the counter, blocking Beomgyu from moving any further. “Deny it all you want but we’ve seen how you look at Y/N with those heart eyes. It’s disgusting!”
“Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe you’re reading too much into it?”
“Am I also reading too much into it when you two cover for each other every time one of you makes a mistake? Or when you take the bus with Y/N until they get home even though you live on the opposite side of town? Or how Y/N immediately volunteers to take over your shifts when you can’t?”
Beomgyu’s mouth opened and closed, like a fish out of water, but no words came out. He wracked his brain for a response—an excuse—but each one died on his tongue. Yeonjun was right but he was too proud to back down and admit it. Even though it was the truth, saying it out loud would make it feel too real. If you found out he had been harboring a deep affection for you for quite some time now, how would you react? Would it make things different between you? He was afraid of what might happen next.
“We’re co-workers.” Beomgyu said at last, his voice cracking halfway through. “We’re supposed to have each other’s backs. You know… teamwork.”
“Oh, cut the crap!” Yeonjun snorted so hard it bounced off the walls of the café. “Teamwork, my ass. Then I guess I should start offering to carry Soobin’s bag and hold his hand every time we cross the street.”
Beomgyu’s jaw dropped to the floor, his face flushing. “I do not hold Y/N’s hand!”
“I never said that,” Yeonjun shot back with a wolfish grin.
The younger boy groaned, collapsing against the counter with his forehead in his hands. Meanwhile, his teasing co-worker just laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.
“You do a really bad job at denying it,” he said, then the expression on his face shifted into a more serious one. “But how long do you plan to keep on pretending? Y/N is bound to move on—to a better job, maybe even someone else—and then what? Stop stalling before you lose your shot for good.”
A chill ran down Beomgyu’s spine as realization dawned upon him. Yeonjun gave him a reassuring pat on the back before pulling away to go back into the kitchen. As soon as he left, Beomgyu eventually stood up, regaining composure as he resumed carrying out his duties at the counter. However, he could not seem to brush off Yeonjun’s words that echoed in his head incessantly throughout the day.
“And then what?”
He may not know what would happen next, but surely enough, he did not want to risk losing his chance at something real all because he was too scared to try.
The next few days went by normally. You were back at the café, working full-time, while Beomgyu and the rest of the part-timers rotated shifts.
The first thing you talked about when you got to work together was your job interview. You were brimming with excitement and a newfound confidence he had never seen in you before—and he loved how it looked on you. Your energy was so infectious that he could not help but give in to it, ignoring the anxiety prickling in his heart.
Today was a particularly busy day. The café was bustling with customers; seats were taken and tables were full, but that did not stop more from coming. Takeout sales went up for those who could not be seated.
The workload was too hectic for two people alone. Due to this, you called for backup and thankfully, Soobin showed up to lend a hand. With three of you on the job, it was much more manageable. Soon enough, the swarm dwindled to a murmur and you finally had a moment to catch your breath and sit down.
“The sink is overflowing with dishes but I really don't feel like doing them now.” Beomgyu dragged a stool next to you and plopped down on it.
“Let Soobin take care of that.” You said with a yawn.
The boy next to you stretched and the bones on his back released a series of satisfying pops. You chuckled in amusement then mimicked him, unable to resist the temptation of cracking your back. Somehow it helped ease the tension in your body and you felt much lighter than before.
The two of you sat in silence, simply taking the time to rest in the absence of chaos. You fished your phone out of your pocket and turned it on. Thumbing through the notifications flooding your screen, you swiped them away one by one, stopping when you came across an email.
It was from the company that interviewed you a few days back. You held your breath, already bracing yourself for rejection, just like all the other jobs you applied for.
Each time, you hoped for good news but wound up with disappointment after seeing those dreaded five words. “We regret to inform you…” and that was all you needed to read. Why go on? You got the message. The rest of their explanation was irrelevant.
Beomgyu noticed your stillness. His eyes lingered on your face before dropping to the phone, which trembled in your grasp. Without second thought, he cupped your hand with both of his and the warmth of his touch was surprisingly comforting.
“You did your best. Whether you get that job or not, things are going to work out. Rejection doesn't define your self-worth. Don't let the cruel world of employment snuff out your spark. You've got potential and a promising future. Believe in yourself, Y/N.” His brown eyes bore into yours while he spoke, in a voice so gentle, as if raising it even slightly would disrupt the calm.
His genuine sincerity made your heart swell in your chest and something within you shifted. You could no longer hold onto your pride if it meant not taking a chance on Beomgyu. He was one of a kind and you would be a fool to let someone so sweet and caring as him slip away.
“It’s a good thing you're here with me today. I don't know what I’d do without you. Thanks, Beomgyu.” An earnest smile bloomed on your face along with the courage to open the email sitting in your notifications.
You bit your lip in an attempt to steady your nerves as you read through the message.
“Oh my god.” You gasped, slapping your free hand over your mouth. “I got the job. What? We are pleased to inform you… oh my god, I got the job! Beomgyu, I'm hired!”
You jumped up from your seat and squealed, catching the attention of some customers in the café. Beomgyu immediately stood up, joining you in your revelry. You threw your arms around each other and bounced up and down like little kids behind the counter.
He giggled in delight. “Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!”
“What's going on here?” Soobin asked upon walking in and you paused from jumping.
“Y/N passed the interview! They're hired!” Beomgyu exclaimed.
“That's wonderful news. Congratulations!” The taller boy rushed over for a group hug, squeezing both of you in his arms. After a few seconds, he let go when Beomgyu started squirming and pleading for air. “We should throw you a farewell party. A proper send-off before you step into the real world.”
“Of course! We should ask Ms. Jung to join us too. After all, this café, and her, carried me through college.” You said.
“She has helped us out a lot.” Soobin nodded thoughtfully and briefly patted you on the shoulder. “Anyway, I’ve got to clear the sink before the next rush hour.”
With that, he gave one last smile before turning away and slipping into the kitchen, leaving you and Beomgyu alone behind the counter. The café seemed to quiet just a little, but you were still bubbling over with excitement. You glanced at the boy next to you and beamed, his heart skipping a beat, he could have sworn he saw stars twinkling.
“Hey… want to celebrate after work?” You asked, trying not to sound too hopeful. “Just the two of us,” you added.
Beomgyu grinned like an idiot. “Of course, I do! Where are we going?”
You chuckled softly, pleased by his uncontainable enthusiasm. “There’s this new diner I’ve been wanting to try for some time now. Their dessert menu looks interesting. What do you think?”
“I do love diners and desserts,” he said—and you, he almost added. “I’m sold.”
“Then it’s set!” You said, clapping your hands together. “We’ll head there right after closing.”
You promptly went back to work, unable to hide the giddiness in your grin. Beomgyu found it endearing, his eyes reluctant to leave you before he finally forced himself to look away.
“And then what?”
He may soon have to find out. It made him nervous, but nevertheless you were worth the risk.
Once the café was closed and Soobin had gone his way, you and Beomgyu set off together toward the diner. The streets were lined with traffic, the noise of horns and engines drifting in the background. LED signages and street lights colored the night aglow, the pedestrian light flashing green as you felt Beomgyu hook his fingers to the strap of your bag, tugging you close to his side while you crossed. Upon reaching the other side, he tugged slightly stronger on your bag, trying to get it off your shoulder.
“You don’t always have to carry my bag for me, you know.” You said, though there was no hint of protest in your tone.
“I know,” he replied simply. “I just want to.”
“Why?” You asked, eyeing him curiously.
His answer was quick, made without thought, a deflection disguised as nonchalance. “Why not?”
You tried to read the look on his face, as if it were much easier for him to show than tell, but he was just like a starless night—full of secrets. He locked eyes with you and smiled, the kind that meant he knew what you were up to. Then he looped his arm around yours and steered you ahead with a gentle but eager shove.
“Come on. I’m hungry! Where is this diner, anyway?” Beomgyu whined and you could practically hear him pouting through his words.
“We’re almost there—hey, not too fast! I might fall!” You laughed as he tugged you along.
“Then hold on tight because I’m not slowing down.” He teased as you struggled to pick up the pace.
Seven hundred meters, ten minutes, two crosswalks, and a single detour down the wrong street later, you finally stood before the diner. And to your dismay, it was closed. The lights were out, the doors were locked, and the sign out front read “Sorry, we are CLOSED”.
“No, this can’t be. I swear I checked their page and it says they’re open until midnight.” You said, taking your phone out to double check. As your eyes scanned their latest post, you frowned and let out a dejected sigh. “Well, shit. They’re under maintenance… for three days.”
“Don’t fret. The night is still young.” Beomgyu said in an attempt to cheer you up as he rubbed circles on your back. “You and I can still celebrate.”
You gazed forlornly at the diner. “I don’t know where else to go. I was really looking forward to trying their brownie sundae!”
“I know a place. Come on.” He held out his hand for you to take.
For a moment, you stared at him. The gesture was simple yet so tender, causing something tacit to tug at your heartstrings. Your heartbeat was thumping loudly, you could hear it, tuning out the rest of the world. For a split second, you wondered if Beomgyu was being his typical self, casually sweet and good-natured. But one look into his eyes and you could see right through. Smiling, you finally slipped your hand into his, letting him lead the way. Your palms pressed against each other, filled with warmth and an unspoken longing. It felt like catching starlight—fleeting, but achingly surreal.
Beomgyu warned you that it was going to be quite far, but with nothing else to do tonight and tomorrow being your day off, you didn’t mind. It took one bus ride away from the suburbs, you and Beomgyu sitting side by side, sharing a pair of earphones. You stared out the window, watching the city lights guide you to your destination as you allowed the music to quiet your thoughts.
Twenty minutes went by unnoticed until you felt Beomgyu tapping you on the shoulder, signaling that you arrived at your stop. As you alighted from the bus, a cool breeze drifted by and you were instantly hit with the scent of moss and fresh earth. The trees rustled gently in the wind and the shrill buzzing of cicadas drowned out everything else.
He pointed at a convenience store across the road. “Let’s go in there and grab some food first.”
You nodded, humming in agreement. He took you by the hand again as your heart violently skipped a beat, and then you walked across the road and into the convenience store.
Even though tonight went differently, you were happily living in the moment. Beomgyu sat across you, his hair falling over his eyes as he hungrily slurped the last of his ramyeon. Meanwhile, you were chewing on your food while popping open a can of soda. It fizzed and the smell of sweet carbonated cherry filled your nose as you lifted the drink to your lips to take a sip.
“So, where to next?” You asked before taking another swig of cherry soda.
“You’ll see,” he said, showing you his palm and making grabby fingers—a gesture that meant he wanted to try what you were having too. Despite the moue of disapproval on your face, you passed him the can anyway. He drank down a few gulps, much to your annoyance that you began pinching his arm until he stopped and gave it back.
“Don’t finish it!” You said, snatching it from his fingers.
He only chuckled before letting out a small burp. He said, “Wanna grab some ice cream?”
“Finally, dessert!” You stood up from your seat, collecting your trash and discarding it in the bin.
“But I'm paying this time.” Beomgyu said with narrowed eyes and you shook your head dismissively. “You paid the bus fare for both of us and all the food we just ate. At least let me pay for the ice cream, please?”
You smirked and pinched his cheek, teasing him. “Fine, but if you're paying, I'm getting the most expensive one they have.”
Then you let go and slid the freezer open in search of a sweet treat. His fingers brushed the spot you had pinched, a tingling sensation lingering on his skin, as he gazed at you fondly. At last, you chose one in your favorite flavor and held it up with a big smile on your face. It was a sight to behold that had Beomgyu thinking that he would happily buy it for you everyday, even if it cost him his whole paycheck, just to see you smile.
“What? Is there something on my face?” You asked.
Beomgyu snapped out of his thoughts, realizing he had been staring a little too long. “I was just thinking since I’m paying for it, would you at least let me have the first bite?”
You shrugged coolly. “Sure, why not?”
“Actually, forget it.” He said and grabbed another ice cream. “I’ll just buy the same one so we can match. Besides, anything you like has to be good.”
He said it so casually yet it made you blush.
“I guess it’s decided. Let’s pay for it now.” You said and walked to the counter in haste, hoping he wouldn’t catch the flustered look on your face.
After Beomgyu added a bag of chips and paid for everything, you both stepped outside again. The air smelled sharper and greener, the cicadas still singing under the soft glow of the moonlight. He guided you to the other side of the street, and you easily fell into stride beside him, eating your ice cream along the way.
Past the foliage of trees and down the stone steps, you found yourself at a park by the riverside. It was quaint and tranquil, with so few people around you could count them on one hand. There was a vacant bench facing the river and Beomgyu went over to it with you in tow, taking a seat once you stood before it.
At first, it was silent. The both of you simply basked in each other’s presence as you watched the river steadily drift by, the reflection of stars and city lights sparkling in the water. Though your mind began wandering elsewhere, it could barely ignore the feeling of Beomgyu’s leg pressed up against yours. Rather than tensing up, this time, you allowed yourself to feel comfortable. You had always liked the warmth of his touch, even if your feelings made you jump at every brush of contact. However, tonight, with the truth lingering on the edge of your tongue, you chose to welcome the closeness instead of shying away.
“This is certainly better than going to that diner.” You said, gazing moonily at the scenery before you, half-distracted by the haze of your thoughts
“Really? What about the brownie sundae you were talking about?” Beomgyu teased, but he couldn’t help himself from grinning at your words.
“I’m still going to try it someday,” you giggled, then turned to him and smiled tenderly. “But I’d love to come here more often with you.”
Beomgyu returned your smile, the tips of his ears turning pink. “Yeah, me too.”
I should tell him now, you thought but the second you opened your mouth, all your courage went down the drain together with your words. You mentally scolded yourself for hesitating, but you miscalculated your confidence and were at a loss for what to do next. Soon, you both finished consuming your ice creams and Beomgyu tore open the bag of chips.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving the café so soon. I’ve gotten used to working with you there.” He said, digging into the bag and tossing a chip into the air before catching it in his mouth.
“Me neither. I’m going to be a real adult and start doing adult things,” you said, sticking your hand into the bag, the wrapper crinkling as you dug for a chip. “Filing taxes, paying bills, building my career… I’m going to be adulting.” Your voice was filled with dread as you dramatically shuddered.
“You’ll be fine. You always figure things out,” he said. “Remember that time a customer ordered a blueberry muffin and I punched it in, forgetting we were sold out? And instead of refunding them or asking them to order something else, you sent me to the nearest grocery store to buy blueberry compote. While I was out, you chatted up the customer to keep them from growing impatient. Then when I came back, you grabbed a plain muffin, cut it open, and filled it with blueberry compote before serving it to the customer.”
“Yeah, that was actually a clever move. After that, Ms. Jung promoted me to team leader.” You smiled fondly at the memory.
“Clever.” He nodded in agreement. “Resourceful and charming too. The world needs more people like you in it, Y/N.”
“Aw… thanks.” You ducked your head, hiding the way your cheeks warmed at his words.
Beomgyu smirked knowingly, watching you from the corners of his eyes before playfully bumping into your shoulder. “I’m just telling the truth. You’re reliable and people don’t just like you—they lean on you.”
“Like you’re doing right now?” You teased and he rolled his eyes, but his smile betrayed him.
Then you poked your finger into his side, causing him to yelp and jump away before he seized you by the wrists to keep you from tickling him any more. You both laughed in glee as he held you tightly while you struggled to free yourself from his grasp.
“Will you stop wriggling so I can finish?” he said with a grin, but something in his tone drew the mischievousness right out of you, grounding you in the moment.
“You were saying that you can lean on me.” You said with his hands still firmly wrapped around your wrists.
And if you didn't notice before, you were now highly aware of how close you were. Beomgyu’s face was mere inches from yours, you could feel his hot breath fanning over your skin. His hands trembled nervously but his gaze was fixed on yours, heavy and lingering. It messed with the rhythm of your heart, beating much faster than you thought was possible.
“It’s because you’re strong,” Beomgyu said, voice low, loosening his grip on your wrists but not letting go. “You don’t back down from a challenge, even the ones that make others give up. You find a way around it. You’re a good listener, but you don’t just help people feel seen, you make sure they’re understood.”
He spoke almost too earnestly, it was hard not to believe he meant more than he was saying. Hope surged in your chest, wild and frantic, coalescing with the fear that you were only imagining it. Beomgyu let the silence stretch as he thought of his next words very carefully. Meanwhile, your pulse hammered in your ears as you prayed he would speak again.
After one long minute that felt like an eternity of waiting, he said, “You’re the type that makes people believe they can get through the day… because you make me believe I can. You—”
His voice faltered, breath hitching as he broke eye contact. For a moment, he looked like he was on the verge of saying more, his lips parting—but he caught himself, pressing his mouth shut before the words could escape.
“Y-You make me wish you w-weren’t leaving the café.” He sputtered out quickly and let go of your wrists to rub the back of his neck. All the sincerity and courage he mustered up instantly shattered, replaced by timidity. “Anyway, I’m really going to miss working with you.”
Oh.
You were quite frustrated with how that turned out, but you couldn’t blame him. You were just as reluctant. There was nothing else you could do but soften at his words and allow a small smile—half warmth, half the ache of words left unsaid, a bittersweet feeling sitting in your chest.
“Yeah, me too, Beomgyu.” You reached for his hand and squeezed it reassuringly, “me too.”
Later that night, you would find yourself in bed, laying wide awake and staring at the ceiling above. The quiet of your apartment amplified the restlessness inside you. Questions raced in your mind as you replayed everything that happened earlier.
Confusion surrounding Beomgyu’s real intentions and feelings grew, but it only sharpened the ache in your heart. He could lie to you all he pleased, but someday he would have to face the truth. Although you understood his fear, you hoped he trusted you enough to know you’d still be by his side when his walls finally came crumbling down.
Day after day, Beomgyu went to his classes with his hands in his pockets and headphones in his ears, but his thoughts were always louder than the music. The lecture hall faded around him as he spun a pen in his hand, his mind circling back to the night by the river. In his hands, he held your wrists and felt each pulse drumming against the pads of his fingers. He recalled the way you looked under the moonlight, your eyes wide and bright, keenly listening to his every word like it was gospel.
The moment you shared was very sentimental that he nearly drew back his facade, as though it were a veil of clouds dissolving into a mist, faint starlight peeking through. However, as soon as he was about to say it, his throat tightened and fear held him back. He caught a shadow of disappointment flicker in your eyes, which was quickly masked by a forced and subtly pained smile.
Beomgyu cursed himself for hesitating. The timing was just right, perfect even, yet he could not bring himself to tell you the truth. He hated being such a coward, especially when he was so close to finally opening up his heart to you. But he didn’t, and the weight of his regret felt much heavier than the years of longing he carried for you.
“Earth to Beomgyu. Earth to Beomgyu!” Soobin snapped his fingers in front of his face.
Beomgyu blinked, realizing class had already been dismissed while he had been staring absentmindedly at a blank page on his notebook. He hopped out of his seat and picked up his bag, flinging it carelessly over his shoulder.
“You okay?” Soobin asked, chasing after Beomgyu as he walked down the steps, in a rush to exit the lecture hall. “Hey, wait up!”
“What?!” He whipped around with a scowl on his face. Although he didn’t mean to sound so harsh, it came out that way, the taller boy visibly flinching at his tone.
“Dude, I just wanted to check in on you.” He said, raising his palms in front of him like he were approaching a wild animal. “I’ve noticed you’ve been out of it lately. Are you alright?”
Beomgyu noticed the way his own shoulders were tensed up. He rolled them back and sighed.
“I’m fine… yeah, I’m good.” He lied; it was lazy, but he didn’t care enough to make up a more compelling argument or even try to sound convincing.
“Seriously, you’re gonna have to do better than that if you want me to stop asking.” Soobin crossed his arms and eyed him skeptically.
“You’ll tire out eventually because I don’t want to talk about it.” Beomgyu’s reply was curt as he tugged on the strings of his hoodie and tightened it.
Then he began to walk away when Soobin said, “It’s Y/N, isn’t it?”
Hearing your name alone was enough to stop Beomgyu in his tracks. He stood rigid, like a tree rooted to its spot.
“You’re anxious about them resigning, and it’s been eating at you for a while now.” Soobin didn’t wait for him to reply and continued, “You don’t think I’ve noticed how you have trouble paying attention in class lately? And you’ve been messing up a few orders this week. You poured milk in a customer’s black coffee for fuck’s sake.”
Beomgyu’s jaw tightened, but he mustered up a scoff as he finally turned to face Soobin.
“Look, I haven’t been sleeping well these days because I stay up until three in the morning to study,” He said, knowing all too well that he’s been sleep-deprived because he spent nights overthinking things between you. “I’m bound to make a few mistakes which I am taking accountability for, but it’s no big deal. I’m just tired and I really want to go back to my dorm now.”
Soobin raised a brow. “Tired enough to pour milk into straight black coffee?”
“Leave it, Bin.” He grumbled, tugging his hood lower over his face. “It’s not about Y/N. You’re reading into things.”
Before his friend could say another word, Beomgyu dashed off, disappearing down the hallway.
“And then what?”
It rang in his head, over and over, like a broken record he couldn’t shut off. It was also a gnawing reminder that his time was running out and he had to act sooner before his chance could slip away.
By the time a week had gone by, the day of your farewell party arrived, and Beomgyu’s nerves were shooting through the roof. It was a Friday and Ms. Jung shortened the café’s business hours, closing two hours earlier than usual to make time for the celebration. She invited all of you to dinner at a Korean barbecue restaurant across town.
While you bickered with Soobin and Yeonjun over who would be in charge of the grill, Beomgyu could hardly hear a word, too absorbed in his own thoughts as he bounced his leg restlessly. The fact that you were all celebrating your farewell felt strange. He truly was happy for you achieving a new milestone in your life, but the trepidation creeping in his bones made it hard for him to be in the moment.
“Why don’t you help out by cutting up the meat?” Yeonjun said, shoving a pair of scissors into Beomgyu’s hands with a pointed look.
“Uh… yeah, sure.” He stuttered, reaching over to snip at the beef strips sizzling in the grill.
Meanwhile, you stole glances at him every once in a while. It was hard not to notice that Beomgyu wasn't being his usual self. He seemed to fade into the background, sitting across you wordlessly with glassy eyes. If your suspicions were correct, it was safe to assume neither of you have moved on from the night by the river.
The table buzzed with chatter and laughter, empty dishes clattering as you stacked them near the edge of the table, smoke and the warm, savory aroma of meat filled the air. Beomgyu did his best to laugh at all the jokes and stories, watch the others congratulate you, and join in on the conversation, but as the night went on, the more he grew anxious. Soon, the drinks came and you were now taking shots. He swallowed down the alcohol together with the words burning in his throat, desperate to escape.
“Ah… this takes me back to when Y/N had their first sip of alcohol,” Ms. Jung said, turning to you with a fond grin. “You already started working at the café in your second semester of freshman year. You were so preoccupied with studies and work, leaving no time for friends or parties. I thought to myself, ‘this kid works really hard that it makes me proud, but they need to loosen up,’ so I took on the mantle of introducing Y/N to college drinking culture.”
“You’re a terrible influence, Ms. Jung.” You joked.
She picked up the bottle of soju and poured some more into your shot glass. “Just drink up and let me finish the story.”
“You guys are seeing this, right? Unbelievable.” You threw your hands up in mock despair, earning a round of laughter from the table.
“At that time, Y/N was the youngest of my staff, being the only freshman there,” Ms. Jung said. “We went to a bar to celebrate the birthday of a previous employee—”
“Eunbi.” You supplied.
“—and then we ordered some cocktails and beer. Beginner drinks,” Ms. Jung continued. “Y/N tried the cocktails first, figuring they’d be the easiest way to ease into the taste of alcohol. After a few glasses, they grew confident and wanted to try beer next. So we poured them a glass and then… and then…”
Ms. Jung’s words dissolved into a fit of giggles as she recalled the memory, pounding the tabletop with her fist as she grew red in the face.
“Get yourself together, Ms. Jung! Don’t leave us hanging! Tell us what happened next!” Beomgyu egged her on, already a bit tipsy after downing more shots past the point of keeping count.
“They took one swig and spat the beer back out into the glass. Then they started coughing like they’d choked on a fish bone! The look on Y/N’s face was priceless!”
The table roared with laughter, you included. Tears were prickling in the corners of your eyes and you couldn’t even be mad. It was indeed a hilarious memory and it was nice to finally see Beomgyu filled with mirth that night.
Soobin decided it was his turn next. He recounted a time when the café ran out of condensed milk and you asked him to make a run to the nearest grocery store. But to your surprise, he was afraid of crossing the street on his own, something he revealed to you quite bashfully. It ended with you on the run, leaving him alone to take charge of the café.
“Boy, was it a relief to see that he hadn’t burned the place down while I was away.” You teased.
“How are you six foot one and afraid of crossing the street alone?” Yeonjun said, looking at him incredulously.
“The crosswalk light was broken!” Soobin retorted, hitting him with his elbow.
After that, it was Yeonjun’s turn. He recalled when he was the only employee during the morning shift on a chill day. It was raining hard and he was dealing with a bad stomachache. When there were finally no customers around, he temporarily closed the café and locked the front door before using the restroom. By the time he was done, he saw you glaring at him from outside the door, shivering and drenched from the downpour.
“They stood there, shaking like a wet dog! I felt so bad, but now I just laugh whenever I remember it.” He grinned, trying his best not to burst out laughing again.
“You’re mean.” You pouted and gave him the stink eye.
Throughout the entire time sharing stories, your eyes kept finding Beomgyu’s in the laughter. Each glance was like a silent reassurance, despite the words left unsaid by the river, that neither of you had pulled away. Whatever tension lingered between you gradually softened into a dull ache, small enough to ignore but impossible to forget.
“How about you, Beomgyu?” Soobin asked and everyone’s heads snapped towards him.
“Yeah, you and Y/N are the closest out of all of us. You must have thousands of fond memories together.” Yeonjun said, nodding in agreement.
You leaned forward, eyes fixed on Beomgyu and eager for whatever story he might share. Caught in the weight of your gaze, he struggled to decide where to begin. He thought of everything and nothing all at once. How could he just pick one when all his memories of you were his favorite? Especially not when the phantom of the confession he never gave by the river still haunted the corner of his thoughts.
Beomgyu thought back to the first day he met you—a memory that always stuck in his mind. He chanced upon the café on a hot day in search of a good iced americano. When he finally reached the front of the line to place his order, it was like love at first sight. You were cute and charming, causing him to develop a crush on you instantly. Thus, he came back occasionally and finally built the courage to ask you out, but the moment he stood before you, his words fell flat. Instead, he asked if there were any job openings, consequently leading to him getting hired at the café. But after ending up as co-workers, and eventually best friends, every second spent with you was special.
He recalled when you came crying to him once. You were convinced that you were going to fail a class and feared losing your scholarship. Seeing you in pain like that pained him too, so he provided you with emotional support, delivering words of comfort and reassurance. Little did he know, that was the day you started seeing him in a different light.
Suddenly, you found yourself looking forward to Beomgyu’s presence, hoping to work more shifts with him. Every brush of your fingers sent electricity surging through your veins. His laugh was an angelic melody which was enough to make you believe heaven was a place on earth. His gentle manner drew you in, like a warm sunrise over the horizon at dawn, and his silly personality lit sparks that made every moment with him feel alive. It was an unlikely blend, but fit so seamlessly. And that made you fall hopelessly in love with him over time.
“Well… Yeonjun is right. There’s just too many,” Beomgyu admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “But maybe the one that stuck with me most was when I was a bit too clumsy and scalded my hand with the steamer. I tried to act tough, saying it was nothing to worry about, but Y/N wasn’t having it.”
He let out a short laugh and glanced at you, reading the expression in your eyes. You gave a curt nod, as if to say, “Go on.”
“They marched over and dragged me behind the counter then shot me in the leg—no, I’m kidding.” Beomgyu waved his hand before him as the table erupted in snickers.
“You should thank your lucky stars that all I had was patience and burn cream, not a loaded weapon.” You remarked playfully.
Beomgyu grinned, his gaze softening before he continued. “Y/N made me run my hand under cold water and refused to let me move. I was just stuck by the sink and if I offered to help, they barked at me to stay out of it. And mind you, it was quite a busy day. After that, they shoved my ass onto a stool, grabbed the first-aid kit, and patched me up while still keeping an eye on the counter. Just imagine Y/N juggling a bandage in one hand and the café in the other. Honestly, it was impressive and terrifying at the same time. Kinda like a tiger.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. For a fleeting moment, his eyes lingered on yours again, and the table caught a faint flicker of something unspoken. It was like a flash of lightning—charged and burning, but gone in the blink of an eye. Before anyone could point it out, he quickly looked away, clearing his throat.
“After that, I couldn’t go back to work one-handed and Y/N called for backup to send me home. And honestly? It was the first time I realized just how stubborn they are. So stubborn they’d single-handedly run the café while also making sure I was taken care of.” He said, drawing his story to a close with a soft smile.
Everyone seemed to agree, nodding their heads and murmuring amongst themselves. Your heart brimmed with a pleasant warmth as you began to tear up.
“I always thought of the café as my second home. I’m really going to miss you all.” You bit down on your lip, quivering as you attempted to stifle the sobs.
“Man, you’re such a drama queen.” Yeonjun said with a shaky voice and not-so-subtly wiping the tears in his eyes, causing everyone to have one last good laugh.
“This calls for a toast.” Ms. Jung declared and grabbed the bottle of soju, refilling each of your shot glasses. Then she raised her glass in the air as everyone followed suit. “To Y/N, we wish you nothing but the best as you explore a new chapter of your life. I hope you know we’re all proud of you. Here’s to all the success waiting for you. Cheers!”
“Cheers!” The rest of you responded in unison, clinking glasses before you tipped them back.
After everyone sobered up and Ms. Jung paid the bill, you walked out of the restaurant and said your goodbyes. At first, she offered you a ride back to your place but Yeonjun discouraged her, insisting it was for the best while shooting Beomgyu a look. He knew what that meant. Time was ticking and his feelings could no longer wait. If not now, then when?
After Ms. Jung drove off and Yeonjun and Soobin headed for the subway, it was only you and Beomgyu left walking down the sidewalk. There weren’t many people around as you reached the bus stop. The night pressed in around you and the world felt smaller—just you and him in the afterglow of shared smiles and lingering warmth.
Beomgyu tucked his hands in his pockets, rocking gently on his heels as he worked up the courage to do or say something. Anything. It had to be now.
Though you sought his eyes all evening, now they were the one place you couldn’t bring yourself to look. Instead, you took interest in the cracks on the pavement, tracing them with the tip of your shoe. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, not exactly, but it was taut and stretched thin—like Cupid had an arrow drawn too long against the bowstring, longing to strike true.
For the billionth time that night, your eyes met and it felt like you were crashing into the situation you had been dodging for far too long. This could be the last time things would be the way they are and it scared you shitless. Nevertheless, what you felt was real and you had to give it a voice before it was silenced forever.
“Beomgyu,” you said, the tone in your voice delicate and shaky, “I have something to tell you.”
“Me too.” He said, like a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
“But… you have to promise me that you won’t hate me after this,” you said.
The corners of his mouth tugged upwards as he gazed at you tenderly. “Nothing in this world could ever make me hate you, Y/N."
“But I need you to promise me.” You tried to sound firm but the words trembled out of your lips.
Beomgyu shook his head and stepped closer. His hands reached for yours and gently closed over them. The warmth of his touch was both exhilarating and grounding, making you blush and calming your nerves at the same time.
“You don’t have to make me promise that. Allow me to go first. Let me be the one to carry the weight of it.” He said and you felt your shoulders relax, suddenly aware of how tense you had been this whole time. “If this ruins anything, then I’ll take the blame for it.”
He drew in a shaky breath, his smile wobbly and faltering as his gaze flickered between your eyes in search of courage. Then, he let out a laugh that sounded almost self-mocking and said, “I thought I’d never say this out loud, but every day that you’re here reminds me that it’s impossible for me to keep it a secret forever.” He paused and swallowed hard, his throat burning from all the time he spent straining to keep the words from coming out. “I’m going to miss you so much, and not because we’re co-workers. I like you, Y/N. I really like you—no, I’ve had enough of being hesitant. I love you, Y/N. More than I should and for such a long time now. I’m sorry I was too afraid to tell you before, but then it scared me more to think about how different things are going to be once we lead separate lives. And now I can’t let you walk away without knowing.”
Your mouth hung agape as you stood there, stunned. His eyes glimmered with utter sincerity and you searched for any hint of mischief—but there was none. He was telling the truth and you found yourself smiling, unable to contain the rush of overflowing joy. You threw your arms around him and pulled him into a tight embrace, catching him by surprise, but he was quick to respond and reciprocated the gesture.
“I love you too, Beomgyu. I’m sorry it took so long, but I knew we’d finally come around. I was also so scared because you’re my best friend and I didn’t want to lose you over this. But it pained me every single day to think I’d lose you for not being honest about my feelings.” You blurted through tears of joy while sniffling.
Then you pulled away and giggled. “Oh, this makes me so happy!”
Both of you stared at each other, grinning from ear to ear and fingers intertwining. Then you noticed Beomgyu’s gaze drifting down to your lips before finding your eyes again.
You smirked and lifted an eyebrow. “What are you planning?”
“Oh, you know,” he said in a low voice, leaning dangerously close to your face, his breath fanning over your skin, “just another thing I’ve been wanting to do for some time now.”
His lips pressed against yours, soft and reluctant, as though giving you one last chance to pull away if you happened to change your mind. But when you leaned in, sufficing as a clear response that you wanted this too, the kiss deepened and all restraint broke.
He drew you nearer, his free hand cradling your cheek as if he was afraid you’d somehow fade away, desperate to make sure that this moment was real. Your fingers found the back of his head, threading through his soft locks, urging him closer even though there was hardly any space left between you.
The kiss was tender and sweet, yet strewn with desperation, like a ravenous appetite you were dying to finally satiate. Your lips moved in a rhythm where every missed chance and swallowed word were pacified to stillness, instead replaced by an inevitable craving for more. You could feel his pulse racing through the press of his lips as well as your own, echoing the same cadence. Every breath, every gentle brush, every lingering pause carried an intense longing for this moment and neither of you were holding back anymore—and it felt like time and space had come to a standstill for this very moment.
By the time you parted, faces barely an inch away, you were breathless. Your face was hot, your lips tingled, and your heart was threatening to burst out of your chest. Beomgyu spent a few seconds trying to catch his breath, chest heaving and hair slightly disheveled.
“Wow… if I had known kissing you would be this amazing I would have done it sooner.” He said with a goofy smile plastered all over his face.
“Lucky for you, there's plenty more where that came from.” You said, growing bolder as you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into another kiss.
His lips landed clumsily on yours and he laughed, nearly breaking the kiss until you pressed harder, tugging him closer to muffle out the noise. This time, there was nothing graceful about the way you moved. You bumped each other's noses and teeth, but neither of you cared. The messiness of it all only made it sweeter and intimate, as though the walls you put up were finally coming down, allowing both of you this moment of vulnerability.
When you broke away, Beomgyu laughed again, giddy and breathless. Then he rested his forehead against yours and all you could see were his warm brown eyes. You giggled with a wide smile spreading on your face that mirrored his. The joy was simply too infectious.
“I guess that makes you all mine now.” You said, more as a statement than a question.
“I was already yours long before this moment.” He said, threading his fingers with yours and clasping tightly onto your hand. “And I'll always be yours for as long as you want me.”
His answer was more than enough and you were glad. All those missed opportunities and bouts of hesitation, though they were frustrating, led to this very moment and you wouldn't have it any other way. It was perfect in your own special way.
“Still got an appetite for a brownie sundae?” He asked, the tone in his voice making it sound more like a suggestion.
You jolted back and gasped, eyes going wide as saucers. “The diner is back in business?!”
“They sure are.” He said, unable to keep himself from grinning at your adorable reaction. “I say we head there tonight and order one brownie sundae for two.”
Just then, the bus rolled in, coming to a halt with the brakes hissing. The doors opened as light spilled onto the sidewalk, illuminating the bright smiles on your faces.
“Is it a date?” You asked.
“Consider it our first.” He said.
With your hand in his, he pulled you towards the bus and guided you up the steps. The doors shut as soon as you boarded and the driver pulled away. You and Beomgyu slipped into a seat at the back, still hand in hand, your head finding solace in his shoulder while he rested his lightly atop yours.
This was only the beginning, a risk that promised change, but grounded in the familiar bond that tethered both of you in comfort.
this picture will be the DEATH of me 🥲 i mean, look at their SMILES. satoru's eyes are full of hope and excitement, ieri's genuine expression AND DON'T START ME ABOUT MY MAN SUGURU. THAT DAMN SMILE THAT HAD ME ROLLING OVER. they're so fucking precious i want to cry i can't believe it was fun while it lasted :((
genre: sorcerer geto during his teen days, fluff, angst
word count: 600+
a/n: on my silent days, i miss suguru a little bit more ❤🩹
people treat suguru’s curses like pets. whenever they are bored, suguru will show off his new collection. you can definitely see shoko and gojo riding on it and maybe haibara chasing it across the school’s field to play fetch. it became one of their sources of entertainment after the long day of sparring training.
some of suguru’s martial arts skills came from watching his tekken characters move. he'll play with satoru on friday night in the arcade near the school and secretly practice the moves he can remember during the weekdays. even principal yaga is surprised that suguru always has some new moves up in his sleeves during practices. the principal said that suguru has a lot of potential for growth and might even surpass the strongest sorcerer in hand-to-hand combat if this continues.
he’s definitely a pokemon master. he'll spend time hunting down those shiny versions of pokemon characters. heck he spent almost a month hunting for eevee’s shiny and satoru called it ugly in front of him lmfao. he fought with satoru about this but the prick told him that “it’s fucking ugly to see eevee in blue rather than pink” and it made suguru’s heart bruised for a few days.
likes collecting keychains and cute souvenirs. whenever he goes to missions alone, especially on out of country missions, he'll buy the cutest keychains for his best friends. he'll specifically pick those that has something to do with their personality or appearance. he once bought satoru a blue straw doll because it reminded him of satoru’s eyes.
he never really intended to grow his hair long. it was shoko’s idea that long hair suits him well and he just decided to grow it to test her theory. he ended up liking it so much that he never cut his hair ever since.
his hair smells like floral musk. very feminine yet manly at the same time.
he never studies for any exam. he can easily get A+ and 100 without even reviewing for a test. he can also easily connect and apply what he learned theoretically into real life practice of being a jujutsu sorcerer. that's how he can get out of any situation mostly unharmed.
has a pile of books inside his room. wasn’t really a bookworm but it became his habit to carry some books with him whenever he goes to missions because it can get boring sometimes and he prefers to pass time by reading a few pages. he ended up finishing a book one time because the curse he was about to exorcise decided to play hide and seek with him instead.
definitely a tea over coffee man. but he started drinking black coffee recently. he once tried satoru’s black coffee that was loaded with sugar cubes. he vomited it because it’s too sweet for his liking.
he once dreamed of moving out of japan and living overseas. he felt like there's more out there rather than just being a jujutsu sorcerer and protecting innocent people from cursed users.
he secretly keeps a journal and writes his thoughts when it goes spiral. he rarely talks about how he feels, even with his closest friends but his journal is full of the unspoken thoughts that kept him insomniac.
there's a part of him that accepted even before he entered high school that he might die anytime while saving the weak and without living his life to the fullest.
he told people that curses tasted like a rag covered in vomit and shit but it’s worst far more than that. he'll continuously get nightmares and cold sweats of him swallowing it whenever he consumes new curses, especially those grades 1 to special grades. no matter how hard he tries to rinse off his mouth, he'll always taste the hell of those curses stuck in his throat.
after leaving tokyo’s jujutsu high school, satoru, shoko, and even principal yaga could feel some of suguru’s curses’ presence lingering around them. it’s his way of telling them that he'll always be thankful for everything he learned and memories he shared with them. it’s his way of showing off and telling them that no matter what he became, there's always a part of him that remained inside the school’s corner and will always be regardless of what he became.
genre: sorcerer geto during his teen days, fluff, angst
word count: 600+
a/n: on my silent days, i miss suguru a little bit more ❤🩹
people treat suguru’s curses like pets. whenever they are bored, suguru will show off his new collection. you can definitely see shoko and gojo riding on it and maybe haibara chasing it across the school’s field to play fetch. it became one of their sources of entertainment after the long day of sparring training.
some of suguru’s martial arts skills came from watching his tekken characters move. he'll play with satoru on friday night in the arcade near the school and secretly practice the moves he can remember during the weekdays. even principal yaga is surprised that suguru always has some new moves up in his sleeves during practices. the principal said that suguru has a lot of potential for growth and might even surpass the strongest sorcerer in hand-to-hand combat if this continues.
he’s definitely a pokemon master. he'll spend time hunting down those shiny versions of pokemon characters. heck he spent almost a month hunting for eevee’s shiny and satoru called it ugly in front of him lmfao. he fought with satoru about this but the prick told him that “it’s fucking ugly to see eevee in blue rather than pink” and it made suguru’s heart bruised for a few days.
likes collecting keychains and cute souvenirs. whenever he goes to missions alone, especially on out of country missions, he'll buy the cutest keychains for his best friends. he'll specifically pick those that has something to do with their personality or appearance. he once bought satoru a blue straw doll because it reminded him of satoru’s eyes.
he never really intended to grow his hair long. it was shoko’s idea that long hair suits him well and he just decided to grow it to test her theory. he ended up liking it so much that he never cut his hair ever since.
his hair smells like floral musk. very feminine yet manly at the same time.
he never studies for any exam. he can easily get A+ and 100 without even reviewing for a test. he can also easily connect and apply what he learned theoretically into real life practice of being a jujutsu sorcerer. that's how he can get out of any situation mostly unharmed.
has a pile of books inside his room. wasn’t really a bookworm but it became his habit to carry some books with him whenever he goes to missions because it can get boring sometimes and he prefers to pass time by reading a few pages. he ended up finishing a book one time because the curse he was about to exorcise decided to play hide and seek with him instead.
definitely a tea over coffee man. but he started drinking black coffee recently. he once tried satoru’s black coffee that was loaded with sugar cubes. he vomited it because it’s too sweet for his liking.
he once dreamed of moving out of japan and living overseas. he felt like there's more out there rather than just being a jujutsu sorcerer and protecting innocent people from cursed users.
he secretly keeps a journal and writes his thoughts when it goes spiral. he rarely talks about how he feels, even with his closest friends but his journal is full of the unspoken thoughts that kept him insomniac.
there's a part of him that accepted even before he entered high school that he might die anytime while saving the weak and without living his life to the fullest.
he told people that curses tasted like a rag covered in vomit and shit but it’s worst far more than that. he'll continuously get nightmares and cold sweats of him swallowing it whenever he consumes new curses, especially those grades 1 to special grades. no matter how hard he tries to rinse off his mouth, he'll always taste the hell of those curses stuck in his throat.
after leaving tokyo’s jujutsu high school, satoru, shoko, and even principal yaga could feel some of suguru’s curses’ presence lingering around them. it’s his way of telling them that he'll always be thankful for everything he learned and memories he shared with them. it’s his way of showing off and telling them that no matter what he became, there's always a part of him that remained inside the school’s corner and will always be regardless of what he became.
problems arise when your tattoo artist boyfriend starts getting too cozy with the girls that wanted him to do more to their bodies than just inking their skin. the thing is, they knew what he wanted and they knew what you couldn’t give.
pairings. ryōmen sukuna, fem!reader
genre. florist x tattoo artist au, mild angst, opposites attract
tags. nudity, insecure!reader, virgin!reader, dry humping, mentions of needles, mentions of cheating, slutshaming
notes. if you’ve been here for a while, yes this is a repost from an old hq fic :’D i rewrote and remodeled it for sukuna bc i feel like he fits this au!
part 2 | part 3 | epilogue
Sukuna had seen it all.
He wasn’t dumb and he most definitely wasn’t oblivious to the fact that he was attractive, bringing him a clientele of adoring women who would frequently visit his tattoo parlor. Who could blame them? He was handsome, had a good physique, and an overwhelming aura that pulled the attraction of many women, single or not, who were desperate to vie for his attention. His tattoos and his dyed hair even added to the overall bad boy persona that he had which, to be fair, was a girl’s guilty pleasure.
The women were very assertive, it seemed, to try and lure Sukuna into their little seduction game. Was he getting tempted into it? No. He was loyal and he’d like to stay loyal to his kind and beautiful girlfriend. After all, winning you over wasn’t as easy as it would with any other girl.
However, there were certain moments that almost tested his loyalty to you, especially when some of the women would ask to have their tattoos done on the most intimate places of their bodies.
Take yesterday as an example: one girl asked to have a tattoo on her buttocks and she was certainly more satisfied at the feeling of Sukuna’s palms on her bum rather than the actual tattoo she was getting. And to top it all, she bluntly asked if he offered more service rather than just giving tattoos. Crazy.
He had previously mentioned it to you that as part of his job, he was obligated to give his clients the tattoos they requested, regardless of where on their bodies they wanted them. It was strictly business. Ironically, despite dating a tattoo artist like himself, you had no single trace of inked art on your body. You were an untouched canvas that had never been painted on. Still, Sukuna respected your choice and he surely respected your boundaries even more.
He knew that you had always been a gentle girl when he first met you at the floral shop across the street. You were always prim and proper, always dressed modestly, always following the rules, and always doing the right thing. All you cared about doing was to express your love through the delicate petals you arranged in your flower-scented haven. You were happy to be in your own little bubble, content in the company of fragrant blossoms and soft-spoken solitude. Introverted. Reserved. Pure. Unassuming. He was the exception to your goody-two-shoes nature, because he ended up winning your heart despite being the complete opposite of you. It wasn’t an easy task, either. Deciding to get to know you was on a whim at first, since he was intrigued about your simple joys in life and how you weren’t the type of girls that would visit his tattoo parlor. Something about your demure nature pulled him in until he realized that there was nothing else he wanted in this world but to make you his. He began by greeting you every morning from across the street, then giving you the same bouquet of flowers he purchased from your shop, followed by sending you texts complimenting how beautiful you looked as he watched you from his store, and finally asking you out on spontaneous dates.
It may be a bit peculiar to see the two of you together, but Sukuna pursued you because liked you. He was undeniably in love with you. He liked your smile, liked how cute and adorable you were, and liked how a simple look at you made him want to be a better man. He loved the idea of being with a girl he could protect.
The main issue was, Sukuna dropped out of college and just decided to open a tattoo parlor business because he simply didn’t want to waste his years studying for something that he wasn’t passionate about. But that was the source of your parents’ distaste. They told you that you had no future with a guy like him. They said that they would disown you as a daughter if you decided to choose him. They called him dirty, rebellious, and uneducated.
At that point, he thought that you would leave him after learning his rather reckless choices in life, but you stayed.
You left your parents' home and stayed with him.
And he was grateful that you did.
So to ask the question again, would he ever do something to betray you after everything that happened between you two? Of course, not. Not in a million years, no
But then again, he was also just doing his job and it wasn’t like he was purposely flirting with the girls that often flocked him during work hours. He was simply accommodating a client. Nothing more, nothing less.
And on one of those typical days, he had to work overtime when one of his returning clients asked for her fifth tattoo to be done by him. He just finished picking up the tools he needed as she walked towards the recliner seat asking, “Should I sit here?”
He nodded once, turning around to face the girl who looked at him with her alluring eyes. “Yeah, just let me know when you’re ready.”
Oh yes, she was surely ready. She even had a smirk displayed on her face when she slowly unbuttoned her shirt, keeping her gaze at him while teasingly revealing her busty pair.
He didn’t really pay attention to the size of her tits but instead, just casually pointed to a certain part of her body, “Is this where you want it?” he asked, referring to the lower left part of her breast.
With a very flirtatious grin, she nodded, clearly knowing that her assets were her biggest weapon. “Yes. Would it be easier if I took off my bra, yeah?”
“You don’t have to. I can work it out,” he casually responded, reaching for his glove and busying himself with all the tool preparations.
The girl let out a silent giggle along with her best friend who sat on the side, waiting for her turn. Waiting to be the recipient of Sukuna’s full attention. Sigh.
“No, I can take it off for you,” the girl insisted, unclasping her bra and setting her huge breasts free for him to ogle at. They were perfectly round, probably a 40D, and a light pink shade for her nipples. With how firm they were sitting on her chests, she had probably gotten them done.
He cleared his throat, averting his eyes as he asked her to sit on the recliner chair. Sukuna had seen women half naked in his shop before, but this was the first time someone willingly got naked in front of him, most especially with other intentions rather than to simply get a tattoo.
Because of the awkwardness, he went ahead and blasted some heavy metal music to distract his mind. He had to think of something else and not stare at the girl’s luscious tits. He had to shift his mind to somewhere else like, for example, why the girl chose a calligraphy of the words ‘la douleur exquise’ on her skin this time.
“Is this French?” he nonchalantly asked, motioning for her to rest her back while he wiped the chosen area with a damp cotton pad. He specifically avoided brushing his hand on her breast, but it looked like the girl was actually angling herself to make him touch it more.
“It means exquisite pain,” she purred, batting her thick eyelashes at him.
His lips formed a smirk, impressed at how much of a skank she was willing to be for him. It wasn’t new, as established before. He’d also had a fair share of women who tried to get into his pants last week, but none of them were successful. He actually found it entertaining to watch them do all sorts of stunts to make him give in. To make him submit himself to his carnal desires. He was a man after all. He had needs, he had to get some form of release, otherwise it could pose a problem in his masculinity.
All while she was getting her tattoo done, the other girl got up from her seat to walk closer to her best friend. Sukuna decided to refer to them in his head as Slut 1 and Slut 2 because he had no intentions of knowing their names. He knew slut-shaming was terrible, but he never said he was a man of virtue and truthfully, how else could he describe them?
“Hey, Sukuna,” the other girl called, sitting at an empty stool with a smile. “You’re single, right?”
He kept his eyes focused on the skin he was inking on. “...No.”
Even from the corner of his eye, he knew that both girls looked surprised, “No way? You have a girlfriend?”
Was it really that much of a shock?
“Yeah, she owns the floral shop across the street,” he mumbled, wiping the trace of blood on the girl’s skin after he finished another letter.
There was a visible pout on Slut 1’s face as if learning that Sukuna had a girlfriend was more painful than the needle pricking at her skin. “So, what’s she like?”
Sukuna thought for a while because he didn’t know where to begin. It was too much of a long story for them to hear about. You were everything he wanted in a woman and that was all he knew. “She’s cute and kind.”
His words earned a giggle from Slut 2. “Is she like the good girl type?”
“She is.” He figured it would be okay to converse about you like this. Besides, he would rather be talking about you than to have these girls just try to flirt with him relentlessly.
“How much of a good girl, though?” Slut 1 egged on, “I bet she’s a virgin and a prude.”
That was obviously none of their business, but damn. They hit a nerve that they shouldn’t have. No one else had managed to bring up a topic like that to him, more so a topic that he himself knew not to cross. His sex life wasn’t as fruitful as anyone thought so, yet not once in his life did he complain. Not once did he talk about it to anyone. Not once did he tell anyone that he had been dating you for a year now and you two never really went further than making out.
“I respect her,” was his answer, much to the two girls’ dismay.
“That’s kinda boring, though,” the other girl claimed, draping her arm around his shoulder before leaning close to his ear. “You’re still a man and you have needs. If I were her, I’d sleep with you every day. In every position.”
The girl on the recliner chair grinned. “Totally! Like, you’re so hot and I feel like you’re good in bed.”
Fuck.
He almost messed up one of the letters because his mind just flew to somewhere unforgivable. It was a sin to even think about, but shit, he definitely missed the feeling of fucking someone. He couldn’t even remember the last time he did so.
“Sukuna?”
He snapped out of his trance and looked up upon hearing the familiar voice, only to find you by the door, your eyes filled with hurt.
“Hey—”
Your voice was caught in your throat as you avoided his gaze. “I just... I thought you were done.”
In a swift motion, you hurriedly walked out of the room before dashing out the door. You didn’t even bother to look back, dead set on leaving him alone with the girls. Your footsteps were far too quick to even catch and he was hoping that you would at least slow down.
“Babe!” he called, unable to chase after you as you shut the door. An exasperated sigh followed.
This was going to be a big problem
Just what was he thinking?
He had a half naked girl in front of him and another girl clinging to him like he didn’t have a girlfriend. It must have hurt you a lot. No, it definitely wrecked you.
“Uh-oh...” the girl mocked. “I can sense trouble”
He decided to leave it be for now and get his job done as soon as possible, even thinking of banning the two girls from going into his shop just to avoid further trouble. He had a lot of explaining to do and he couldn’t wait to go home to make sure that you would listen to him, not overthink the whole thing and place your assumptions because hurting you was the last thing he would do.
At least, he hoped you knew that.
You were washing the dishes when Sukuna came home and the first thing he did was to wrap his arms around you. He had your waist caged in his tight embrace, his chin resting on your shoulder as he whispered sweet nothings to you. To be real, you weren’t in the mood to see his face after what you saw this afternoon. You get it—he was exposed to all sorts of people with his line of work and most of them probably couldn’t just ignore his physical appearance. You were aware that some girls were only getting a tattoo to get close to him. Heck, you were aware that they all wanted to be with him.
But the only reason you were hurt wasn’t because he was desired by women, but because those very same women were all better than you in more ways than one. They fit his type more than you did and you were sure that they could give him exactly what he wanted.
Still, it awfully tugged at your heartstrings.
He was yours, not theirs. You had the right to be jealous when a girl was getting cozy with your man, but to see him letting them have their way? That was a different story.
“Baby, talk to me,” he mumbled, planting a soft, apologetic kiss on your neck.
You gave him the silent treatment as you walked away and dried your hands with a towel. What else would you say? He should already be aware of why you were acting that way. He should be the one to try and talk to you, not the other way around. And with your stubborn mind, you did your best to keep your insouciance, pulling his tattooed arms off of you and heading towards the couch.
You could hear his sigh as he followed you, but you were determined to keep your eyes glued on the TV screen. If he wanted to talk, he should do the talking, you reminded yourself over and over.
“You’re really pissed at me, huh,” he spoke as soon as he sat next to you, a hand carefully placed on your thigh. “I’m sorry.”
“They’re pretty hot, aren’t they?” The bitter question left your mouth before you thought of holding back.
He scooted closer and hooked an arm around your shoulder this time. “Definitely nowhere near as hot as my girlfriend.”
What a load of… You rolled your eyes, remembering how the girls looked and how comfortable he was with them. “Yeah, right.”
You couldn’t explain the tightness on your chest every time you recalled the scene earlier because you knew, you just knew, that there was more that could have happened if you didn’t check on him. You saw it in his eyes, even for a split second, that he almost gave in to temptation. How could he not? You were a prude just as they described—just because you didn’t have any sexual experience like they did. Perhaps when they called you boring, they were right and Sukuna wanted to agree.
He couldn’t be stuck with a girlfriend that he couldn’t even have sex with, could he?
“I shouldn’t have let them put their hands on me like that,” he admitted, showing his dire attempt to look apologetic. “Only you can.”
You took a deep breath and shook your head. “I don’t even know why you’re still with me, Sukuna. I put so many boundaries between us. Don’t you get tired of me?”
“Fuck no,” he quickly answered, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Never. You’re the only one for me.”
Truth be told, you did feel bad that he couldn’t fully experience you as a girlfriend, but he had been very patient and respectful towards you. He never crossed the line and never forced you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with. He said he was doing that because you never gave up on him even when you had the choice to. He said that you were worth waiting for. He said that he was satisfied with what you two already had.
Maybe you could let this one incident go, after all, he was never really a bad boyfriend to you. Sure, he looked like a bad boy, but when it came to you, he was surprisingly soft.
“Okay,” you muttered, sighing in defeat and finally meeting his eyes. “Just don’t do it again. I don’t care if they get naked in front of you. Please set some boundaries and don’t entertain them too much or you’ll give off the wrong impression.”
Your leniency earned a smile from him, delighted to earn your trust again so he made an effort to peck your lips. “Yes, ma’am.”
“You’re annoying.”
“You love me.”
“I do,” you professed, placing a hand on his cheek, “so much.”
Pleased with your words, he leaned in again to give you a much, much deeper kiss. He knew it was all he could do with you, but he wanted to make you feel that his kisses were satisfying enough for the both of you. Just with the way he moved his lips against yours and how your tongue rolled around his—it was almost impossible to breathe at one point, but he softened the kiss to allow yourself to catch some air.
Gosh, you were jealous again. You were becoming annoyed as your mind ran at full speed, thinking of how those girls thought they could put their hands on your man. You were livid at how they tried to steal him from you.
“You’re mine, right?” you asked for reassurance, pulling away to look at his dominating eyes.
The smirk on his lips was replaced by a cheeky grin. “All yours, darling.”
You didn’t know what gave you the sudden confidence to straddle his lap after he said that, but it just felt right. You wanted more of his physical affection and felt like you couldn’t get enough. Both of you were taken aback, obviously, because this wasn’t something you would normally do, and so the heat on your cheeks was mixing with the surprised look on his face. You were sitting directly on his crotch and he was having a hard time to control himself.
“Babe,” he breathed on your neck. “You don’t have to force yourself.”
He was right, but the thought of the other girls constantly seducing him behind your back just gave way to your deepest insecurities. You didn’t have the most perfect body in the world and you most definitely didn’t have the skills in bed that he expected—you were scared that you might lose him because of these facts. Or that he would find someone better, even at the cost of having them on the side.
“Hey,” he spoke again, making you look at his eyes as you relaxed into his touch. “It’s fine. If you want it, I can be gentle. We can go slow.”
“I-I don’t know... I just,” you hesitated, not knowing exactly how to put it into words.
You didn’t know why sex intimidated you. It should be as easy as 1-2-3, just him putting his member inside you, right? But you weren’t really scared of doing the act itself, you were scared that once you did it, he would leave you because he already got what he wanted. Losing it to the wrong person sounds like a nightmare and that was why you were having trouble coming into terms of losing your virginity before marriage.
You could feel the hardness on his crotch pressing against your core and you didn’t expect a moan escaping your lips when you moved at the slightest. The fabric of your shorts were thin enough for you to feel the outline of his hardened member, displaying a prominent bulge on his sweatpants. You haven’t seen how big he was, but you could tell just by looking at his bulge that he was huge. Could you even take that?
He held your waist and guided you to move again, this time urging you to move your hips back and forth, allowing you to feel the friction from his hard erection. Lust was clouding his eyes and it made you feel weak.
“How does it feel?” he asked, his hot breath tickling your ear.
You continued grinding on him with your lips parted, releasing your silent moans, “G-Good.”
He leaned forward to kiss your neck, eventually sucking the soft skin to leave his beautiful marks. “I wanna eat you down there, baby,” he growls under his breath, squeezing your right breast, “You’re gonna taste so good, I bet.”
“Suku—” you whined, gripping his hair while he started matching your movements with his own. It was a foreign feeling for you to feel his bulge rubbing against your untouched core.
“Fuck,” he cussed in a low voice, squeezing your ass with his huge hands in growing excitement. “Let me get a condom.”
This was it.
It was happening.
Or was it?
Your eyes widened in panic as you pushed him back onto the couch. It was as though all of your senses were awakened and your body was telling you that you shouldn’t be doing all this. “N-No, I... I’m not ready.”
You didn’t mean to always chicken out when you two were almost about to do it. You just didn’t feel confident enough to give yourself yet and even if you badly wanted to, you just couldn’t make yourself do it.
You could see the hint of disappointment on his face and he was trying to hide it.
“Right,” he exhaled deeply with his head thrown back on the headrest. “It’s alright. Maybe next time,” he convinced himself.
“I’m sorry,” you softly mumbled, hand gripping on his shirt.
He gave you a quick peck on the lips before pulling you out of his lap and getting up from the couch. “Yeah, yeah. It’s fine.”
You stayed seated as you watched him walk away. “Where are you going?”
“I have to finish this off on my own,” he answered without looking back. You realized he was referring to the act of touching himself because you just couldn’t do the job for him. It was obvious how frustrated he was and for goodness sake, you did feel guilty, but then again, he didn’t act like this before. When you told him you didn’t want to do it further, he would simply laugh it off and say he would wait for you.
This wasn’t the same Sukuna that said that.
You became a little paranoid.
Considering that girls would still pay your boyfriend a visit at the tattoo parlor, you always ended up overthinking about what he was doing while you were supposed to be busy at the floral shop. In the middle of arranging a bouquet of beautiful peonies, your mind was on haywire. You just didn’t feel at ease. You felt like anyone could easily snatch him away from you because you weren’t particularly a striking girl to begin with. You were leaning on the simple, conservative side rather than the rebellious, liberated women that swarmed his shop in hopes of sleeping with him.
Because your thoughts were eating you alive, you decided to head to his tattoo parlor after closing the shop to make sure that he wasn’t doing any funny business.
And you were somehow right.
About three girls were in there this time, two of which you had already seen a couple of days ago, and they were already leaving the parlor just as you arrived.
“You’re really amazing, Sukuna,” one of the girls told him in gratitude, “I might get another one soon.”
You watched them walk past you with a smug expression on their faces as they left the shop. Sukuna had then seen you standing by the door with your arms crossed.
“Really?” you questioned, walking inside with a frown. “They’re here again?”
He sighed and walked back to his station while cleaning the mess from the tattoo session. He wasn’t even trying to win you over anymore. “I can’t just ask them not to come anymore. They’re still clients.”
“Let me guess,” you continued, “Did one of them get naked in front of you again? Did you let them put their hands all over you again? Did you perhaps forget that you had a girlfriend again?”
His brows, now furrowed in annoyance and his mouth, thinning in displeasure. “No. We talked about this.”
You held your breath, raising a brow in return. “I’m starting to think you’re doing more for them than just giving them tattoos.”
“Like, what? Sell my body?” His question was clearly a taunt. A spasm of irritation crossed his face, but he still managed to display a mocking smile. “Is that what you’re suggesting, angel?”
“That’s not what I—”
“Then, what?”
“You know what I mean,” you replied, trying to get your point across while keeping your composure. “You’re an attractive man and they’re the type of women you would willingly sleep with.”
“Jesus. You’re so insecure, it’s crazy,” he retorted, rolling his eyes at you.
Insecure? You couldn’t believe, just couldn’t believe he called you insecure. The air crackled with tension as your jaw tightened, muscles twitching with every suppressed urge to lash out.
“I wonder why!” Your voice rose hysterically. “If you weren’t busy flirting with those girls, maybe I won’t be so insecure.”
“I said I’m not flirting with them!” he argued, slamming his gloves on the floor. His face contorted into a mask of rage and he looked at you with frustration that you had never seen before. It hurt. It certainly hurt. He had been acting distant since the night you didn’t give in to him and you knew that his exasperation towards you was rooting from that.
Your breathing became unsteady. “But you know you’d sleep with them if given the chance. Since I couldn’t do it with you.”
“Then, just fucking do it with me instead of bitching about it every day!” he snapped, voice thick with insinuation. “I don’t wanna be stuck acting like I give two shits about your interest in flowers and whatever nonsense you like to talk about. I wanna be with someone I can have sex with, not sit on the couch all day with a boring person like you!”
His hurtful words left you frozen like a statue, unable to move while being dominated by the shooting pain inside your chest.
You knew this day would come—that he would eventually get tired of waiting around for something that he could easily get from others. However, what hurt you most was the fact you believed he wasn’t that type of guy. That he wasn’t with you solely for what you could give, but rather, for what you just had. You thought he sincerely understood your boundaries and respected your choices the very same way you respected his, but it seemed that he had another thought in his head all along.
After seeing the look on your face, Sukuna had softened his gaze and walked closer to you in reproach to his words and actions, “I’m sorry... I didn’t mean that.”
A tear fell from your eye as you looked at him with both anger and pain building inside of you. Your eyes glistened with unshed tears. “You wanna have sex? Is that what you want?” Your voice cracked in the middle of your sentence. “You wanna do it so bad, let’s fucking do it, then!”
Your fingers forced their way to spitefully unbutton your blouse despite his desperate efforts to stop you. You must be going crazy. But also, he drove you to this point.
“Baby, no,” he said in remorse, grabbing your wrists tightly. “No, I’m sorry. I’m content with you. I really am, I’m sorry. Please.”
Your chest heaved as you cried, unable to stop your emotions from exposing all of your vulnerabilities. “It’s obviously not enough for you.” Your voice quivered, each word a fragile whisper trembling with the weight of unspoken sadness as you sniffled and wiped your eyes. “You knew what kinda girl I am when you dated me.”
He pulled you for a hug and kissed your temple way too many times that you lost count. He felt absolutely sorry for ever hurting you with his words, but they just hit you so painfully to the point that your gaze grew distant and your face was clouded with resignation.
“I know what kinda girl you are and I’m in love with you for it,” he reaffirmed, as if trying to get it through your head but his words were beginning to feel empty. “Please, believe me. I really didn’t mean what I said. You’re enough for me, baby. You’re all I want.”
You didn’t feel comfort from his words, but you still returned his embrace because you loved him. Because you knew, even if he said more hurtful words, that you would still love him. Sure, you would be angry, but your love for him ruled higher than your pride.
You were just scared of losing him over something like this.
“I love you so much,” he whispered in your ear before placing a soft, apologetic kiss on your lips.
When he pulled away, your heart still felt heavy, but you managed to conceal your face with an agonizing smile.
“I love you, too.”
He ran his thumb across your cheek and held your waist on his other hand. You just couldn’t get his words out of your head even after he apologized, because you never knew he was seeing your relationship that way all along.
The girls were right. He was a man after all and he had needs.
The fact that he was staying with you despite not fulfilling his needs must be a work of charity for him, and eventually, he would get sick of waiting around. He would desire you less and less the more the days passed by and it wasn’t absolutely crazy to think that he could potentially meet another girl he liked that was willing to give it all.
The mere thought of it scared you.
“I’ll do it with you tonight,” you offered, your voice breaking, hoping that you could finally break the barrier and be enough for him.
SYNOPSIS...you see your ex at a party two years after a messy breakup, sparking conversation and reliving memories, you’re met with the harsh truth of reality
INFO...ex bf!gojo x fem!reader, reader and gojo are near their mid 20s, italics indicate readers thoughts and flashbacks, angst angst angst, messy relationship, messy breakup, kinda toxic?, talks of engagement, gojo is in a relationship, talks of arguments, reader is still in love with gojo, no happy ending, read at your own risk
OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated
You shouldn’t even be here right now, standing in the corner of the crowded kitchen with a red solo cup in your hand filled with a cheap and bitter tasting alcohol. The pop music blares over the speakers, lightly tapping your foot to the beat while you glance at everyone around you. Couples, friends, random strangers who don’t have a care in the world and are having the best time of their life right now. You only came here for your friend, it was her graduation party, her way of celebrating for finally getting her degree. But you weren’t even sure where she was and truthfully you were starting to regret even coming as harsh as it sounds.
A deep sigh left your lips, placing the half empty cup of alcohol on the kitchen island, leaving it stranded. You pulled your phone from your back pocket, noticing the message from your boss asking if you could come in earlier tomorrow to help with deadlines. You bit the inside of your cheek, thumbs hovering over the screen, deciding if you should even respond. It seems like your life now is nothing but work, home, sleep, and repeat. You’ve gotten so used to it unfortunately that this party has thrown you out of your comfort zone, but you only dragged yourself here in hopes to have fun and get away from the depressing reality. No relationship, barely any friends, and not even a pet to come home to and hang out with. You were quite literally alone, cooped up in your studio apartment from beginning to end.
Eventually, you put your phone back in your pocket, leaving your boss on delivered. It wouldn’t be hard to at least try and have fun, talk with people, hell maybe even a one night stand will get you out of the funk you’ve been in. You needed some type of push, but who else to do it besides yourself? You glared at the abandoned cup on the counter, eyes narrowing, contemplating if you should down the disgusting liquid in one shot. Before you could even think, the rim of the cup was at your lips and the alcohol hit the back of your throat, leaving a burning sensation. You winced, letting out a small cough as you put the cup back down on the counter. “Gross,” you muttered, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
“She said there should be more drinks in the fridge,” a familiar voice spoke.
You looked up to see a man with long silky black hair, and snakebite piercings to complete his look. It was no one other Geto Suguru, your ex boyfriends best friend. Though you never really spoke much to him, you still knew him well enough that seeing him here brought some sense of comfort compared to the strangers you were around. But just as you were about to say hi, behind him is a taller man with snow white hair and gleaming blue eyes, walking in with that charming smile you remembered so clearly. Gojo Satoru.
Two years. It’s been two years since you’ve last seen his face. Since that night when he walked out on you, left you in street with tears on your face. Your heart sunk, all the memories from good to bad came crawling right to the front of your brain, disregarding anything else you were thinking of. You quickly looked away, trying to avoid any contact with him. Retreating back to your corner in the kitchen, you brought up your phone, sticking your face in it and mindlessly clicking and scrolling through any apps in hopes he wouldn’t look your way. Why was it so much hotter all of a sudden? And why did the walls feel like they were closing in? Leave. Leave. Leave. Please, leave. A shadow cast over you, the mixed scent of cologne and alcohol filling your nose.
“Y/n?” And it was like everything around suddenly stopped. The music. The people. Time. And as much as you wanted to walk away, you didn’t. You looked up at him and smiled. Such a fake smile.
“Hey! Gojo!” You cheerfully spoke, tucking your phone back in your pocket. You gulped, your hands clammy, wiping them against your jean skirt. “How’s it been?”
“It’s been great,” he chuckled. “How have you been? I didn’t expect to see you here.” He took a sip of his drink, taking place beside you.
“Oh, yeah. I know the party girl. Her graduation day, so she invited me! Thought it would be good to get out.” You shrugged, a fake smile still turned at the corner of your mouth.
“That’s good, that’s good,” he murmured, nodding his head.
The tension was thick and awkward and you wanted to walk away, maybe even scream at him for leaving you in the street that night, completely ghosting you and blocking you instead of being an actual man and breaking up with you.
“You look great, by the way. I like, uh, your outfit. It’s something different than what I’m used to.” He cheekily smiled.
Your brows furrowed. “And what exactly are you used to?” You asked, turning to face him.
“I don’t know!” He laughed. “I just remember your style being different. Always wearing jeans or something like that.” He pointed at your skirt.
“Well, it’s been two years since you’ve last seen me, I’d like to think I changed at least a little bit.” You looked down at your outfit, fixing your shirt. “You still look the same, though.” You rolled your eyes.
“Oh, wow! Do I?” He held his arms out. “I didn’t change at least a little bit?” He turned around, giving you a show of his outfit.
Hopefully as a person.
“Nope! Still the same old Gojo!” You shook your head, smiling. Why are you still standing here? Why are smiling? Why is the conversation going so well as if nothing happened?
“Awe, come on don’t be like that.” He playfully nudged you. “You know you don’t have to call me Gojo either, right? I mean we dated for two years, I’m not a stranger.” He smirked.
Yes, you are.
“Oh, I remember. I remember very clearly.” You nod, fidgeting with your hands.
“Remember our late night 7/11 runs? And when the slushee machine broke and it wouldn’t stop coming out? We literally ran out the door while the guy was yelling at us!” He laughed.
“Oh my gosh, yes! It went all over my shirt and my shoes were so sticky! That shit was the worst!” The memory played in your head like a movie, so clearly you could still hear you and Gojo’s childlike laughter as you ran out the store. But you also remember the days when he would act like you didn’t even exist. Not a single call or text from him for days.
“All I’m asking is for you to communicate with me! I get that you’re busy with school but a text would be fine! I never said you had to talk to me twenty four seven!” You shouted at him.
“Sometimes I don’t feel like texting anyone! Is that so damn hard to understand? Not everything is about you, y/n!” He furrowed his brows at you as if what you were saying was bewildering, like you had the most unhinged thought.
“What? What the fuck are you talking about? And don’t even lie to me either because I see you with Geto out at parties, drinking and having fun all night! So I know it ain’t just about school. You’re just fucking ignoring me at this point. I’m so sick of fighting for attention from my own boyfriend!” You bite the inside of your cheek, stepping closer towards him.
“Then don’t.”
“We had the best times.” He let out a sigh, obvious he was reminiscing.
No we didn’t.
“Yeah, we did,” you quietly replied. There was a few seconds of silence between you two before gojo spoke up again.
He cleared his throat, his smile now faded, a serious look on his face like he was scared to say something. “I wanted to say sorry as well. That night, where I left you in the street, I should’ve never done that. I’m…I’m really fucking sorry. I was immature for blocking you and ending things that way. It was…I guess I was just so confused and overwhelmed by everything.”
“Yeah, I was too. I think it was probably best that we ended things off that way now that I think about it. It was harsh, but it’s what I needed,” you admitted.
“What do you mean?” Gojo asked.
“Gojo,” you sighed, “no matter how bad the relationship was, I willing to stay regardless and ruin myself. It sounds pathetic to say, but I truly loved you so much I wanted to do anything. I wanted you to try with me, at least show me you still wanted me. So, that might where you left and blocked me was the best thing. No contact, right?” You chuckled, like it was some natural thing to say, like it didn’t make your guts turn to think about how much you cried for months on end wondering where everything went wrong.
Gojo stared at you and it’s like he could see the tears on your face from all those times he made you cry, but now you were just brushing it off. Deep down, he still sees it hurts you, he knows you too well. “I loved you, but you deserved better.”
You looked him in eyes. “I wanted you to be better. It’s too late for that, right?” You weren’t really asking, more of a rhetorical question, but Gojo didn’t take it that way.
“It is…I’m engaged…I have a fiancé,” his words were quiet and his bright blue eyes somehow dimmed.
“Oh.” Suddenly those words seemed to turned your whole world upside down. Those simple words had such an impact on your life. The world felt dizzying, like it was spinning faster than you could keep up. “Congrats.” And those genuine smiles you were giving quickly turned fake again. “Did you propose?”
“Yeah…” He answered, blinking.
“Wow, that’s…how long?” You raised your brows in shock. Your mouth felt dry and that shot of alcohol you took just minutes ago felt like it was ready to come back up.
“It’s been a year and a half,” he plainly spoke.
You truly had no other words to say. While you were sat at home, dealing with the worst heart break of your life, mending yourself together piece by piece, he was having the time of his life with someone else. It took you a year to finally start feeling like yourself, to realize that it was going to be okay. In just a few months, he was willing to give another girl everything he couldn’t give you.
He never truly loved you.
Why couldn’t it have been you? Why were you always the girl before the one? Why were you never someone true love? Fairytale? It always ended in a nightmare. And now the man that you loved so deeply is getting married to someone else soon. “I’m happy for you, Gojo.”
“I’m sorry, y/n.” And gojo could tell you weren’t happy for him, yet you lied to him and to yourself to keep your true feelings from coming out. And he didn’t do a thing to stop you from walking out that kitchen, instead he watched you leave.
“Excuse me, ‘scuse me.” You pushed through the crowd of people, your chest starting to tighten and the music ringing in your ears. Fresh air, you needed fresh air. It felt like you were going to pass out. Why was everything moving in slow motion? You stumbled to your car, unlocking the door and quickly sitting down, slamming the door. The cool air hit your skin, your chest rapidly moving up and down with each shaky breath.
You turned to look towards the party, hoping by some miracle you’d see Gojo coming after you instead of just leaving you like he did before. And with each passing second, tears welled up in your eyes because you knew he wasn’t coming. A sob escaped your throat, hot tears pouring down your cheeks. You sucked in a breath, quickly wiping those tears away, afraid to show any sort of emotion towards him again. He didn’t deserve any more of your tears. But no matter how many tears you wiped and how much you tried to hold it in, it was inevitable. So you sat there, alone in your car, wiping your own tears and mending yourself back together before you had to go back home and restart your routine again tomorrow.
“is he bothering you, ma’am?” the kind stranger asks as he approaches your table, a concerned look on his face as he eyes Satoru up and down, who so casually leans against the table with a smirk.
for the past hour, while you were busy typing in your laptop, Satoru happened to simply drop on the chair in front of you, rambling your ears out even though he knew you were not listening, “you’re gorgeous, do you have a boyfriend?” he asks, no response.
“oh, hard public, hm? that’s okay, you are still gorgeous, can I give you my number?” no response. yet his stupid little smirk stays present.
“your boyfriend is not worth your time, baby, you should date me instead”
“what are you drinking? want a refill?”
“did it hurt when you fell from—”
until the kind stranger interrupts, his eyes are cautious as he keeps them on the blue eyed, this time you speak with a sigh and little polite smile, “i’m fine, thank you, he’s my husband”
i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever
dang,, it's been like almost a year since i stopped writing because i became busy with my board exam review. now that i finally became a license holder in my country and is now working in healthcare,,, maybe i should go back to writing???
andulkaphoto
kianamaiart
germansingergirl
janainaart
origamiaround
