POISON AND WINE
Chapter One - Anticipation
He looked at her for the first time in seven years. She’d changed. Older. Harder. Still beautiful.
Pairing: Negan Smith x Maggie Rhee (#Neggie) Rating: Mature Status: In-Progress
Author's Note
Welcome to Poison and Wine! 🍷
I'm so excited to finally share Chapter One. This is a slow-burn Maggie/Negan post Season 10 AU story, so we're going to be taking our time with these two.
I hope you enjoy, and thank you for reading!
Negan stood in front of his bathroom mirror and ran his hands through his hair, tousling it a bit as he let out a big sigh. He leaned over the sink, studying his reflection. “Ah, fuck it,” he said after a moment before walking out of the bathroom, grabbing the bag that he’d left by the stairs the night before, and closing the front door behind him.
He had been in Alexandria for about eight years now. Granted, for seven and a half of those years, he had been locked up in a prison cell, but now it felt like he almost had a normal life…well, as normal as you can get in this fucked-up apocalypse. He was determined to prove himself an asset to the community, so he picked up work wherever he could, planting and growing crops, helping with the supply pantry, reinforcing the gates and walls around town. Anything he could do to fade into the background and be seen as any other community member. Maybe then, one day, the stares would stop being directed his way.
But he wasn’t like any other community member in Alexandria. He had caused this community pain, and he knew that he didn’t deserve their forgiveness. But that didn’t stop him from trying.
Negan had a lot of time to think and reflect when he was locked up in that prison cell. He had heard stories of prisoners in the time before the world went to shit, that when they were incarcerated, they had found a purpose in God. Unfortunately for him, no such thing happened…despite Gabriel’s efforts. The priest had come to his cell every week to read him scripture, and while Negan appreciated the company, he just couldn’t get into the whole religion thing. If there was a God, why would He let the world be like this? It was all a load of bullshit. Why would He let the dead take over the world, let children die, give Lucille cancer…
The thought of Lucille stopped him cold.
No.
He shoved the memory back where it belonged, into the dark corner of his mind he’d spent years walling off brick by brick. He wouldn’t let himself dwell on thoughts of his past. He continued to walk down the neighborhood road, pack slung over his shoulder as he made his way toward a pickup truck at the front of the community gates.
 It was five a.m. and the sun was just beginning to creep out over the horizon. The streets of Alexandria were quiet. Negan walked up to the truck and slung his pack into the backseat. Daryl, Carol, and Aaron were already there, loading up supplies into the bed of the truck.
Carol gave Negan a brief nod of acknowledgment, while Aaron just looked at him with disdain. Negan noticed Aaron’s look, but shrugged it off, determined not to let it bother him.
“Nice of you to finally join us,” Daryl grunted.
“It’s five o’clock in the morning. Give me a fucking break,” Negan muttered as he bent down to pick up a crate. “By the look of it, you guys showed up just a few minutes ago, too.”
“Well, we wouldn’t want to disturb your beauty sleep, princess,” Daryl shot back.
Negan didn’t reply, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he helped load the remaining cargo into the truck.
The four of them finished loading the truck in silence. The plan was to go out on a supply run early in the morning and hopefully be back by sundown. Negan had volunteered to go. It wasn’t because he particularly enjoyed scavenging, but because every supply run was another chance to make himself useful. Besides, Daryl wasn’t the worst company. Hell, Daryl had guts, and while he could tell Daryl hadn’t forgiven him for his past, Daryl was one of the few people who didn’t stare and who seemed to accept, although perhaps begrudgingly, his presence.
Once the truck was loaded, Negan opened the passenger door to get inside, but his head turned as he heard a “Hey! Wait, you guys!” from a small voice running toward them in the distance.
From down the street, a young girl in a cowboy hat that was too big for her ran at them. “Wait!” she called out again. She stopped running when she made it to the truck, placing her hands on her knees, breathing heavily.
 “What are you doing here, Judith?” Aaron asked.
“I… I wanted to come with you guys,” she huffed between breaths.
“Absolutely not,” Daryl said flat out as Aaron shook his head.
“But...” Judith began.
“It won’t be safe for you, sweetie,” Carol added.
Judith looked hopefully at Negan instead, eyebrows lifting beneath the oversized cowboy hat. “Negan?”
Negan sighed and walked over to her. He placed his hand on the top of her head, shifting the cowboy hat that used to be her brother’s. He knelt on one knee, so he was face to face with her. “Look little missy, this is a grown-up mission. If your dad ever found out that I let you come with us, he would beat the shit out of me,” he chuckled dryly. He wasn’t joking.
Judith scowled at him, but her expression softened after a second. “Fine…” she pouted, “I’ll just get out of your way then.” Judith turned away, shoulders slumped.
Negan gave a little smile, knowing that Judith was exaggerating her disappointment. “Hey, tell you what, kiddo,” he called out to her, “once we come back, I’ll let you help me put up some of the new fences.”
Judith turned around with a big grin on her face. “Really?”
“Really. As long as your Aunt Carol is okay with it.” He glanced over to Carol who gave a small nod.
“Okay!” she exclaimed. “Then you better get back soon!” She ran toward him and gave him a big hug.
“That’s the plan,” Negan said, wrapping his arms around her gently. “Now why don’t you go back to your house and get some sleep. We’ll be back before you know it.”
Judith let go and gave hugs to Daryl, Carol, and Aaron before turning to run back down the street to her house. When she was halfway down the road, she turned and did a quick wave goodbye to them before continuing on.
“It’s weird that you’re so good with kids,” Daryl muttered.
“What can I say? Kids like me,” Negan shrugged as he got back into the truck.
Carol took the driver’s seat and Aaron sat in the back. Daryl pulled up alongside them on his motorcycle. “Let’s go.” He waved the signal to the guards standing at the gate. They opened the gate to let the party drive out.
Negan looked out the passenger window, his face resting on his hand, as they made their way along the dirt road outside of Alexandria. After about ten minutes of silence, he heard a car coming toward them in the distance. Negan could tell it was one of theirs.
“Must be the supply run from a couple of days ago,” Aaron said from the back seat.
The truck slowed as the car passed them and what Negan saw made him hitch his breath. A flash of green. His stomach dropped. Piercing green eyes locked onto his. He knew those eyes anywhere. Christ, he knew them. They filled his nightmares every night. And before he could process it, the cars had passed each other. Negan turned his head to look back at the car. “Well, shit.”
Maggie Rhee.
***
Negan’s focus was nowhere near the mission he was on. Those green eyes refused to leave him. His mind drifted back to the first time he’d seen them. Back in the clearing, looking up at him with fear, defiance, and hatred. Then he remembered begging her to kill him in his cell seven years ago, only to be met with disgust.
Something churned in his stomach. Guilt, self-hatred…
Anticipation?
Christ.
What the hell was wrong with him? Whatever it was, he wanted it to go the fuck away. He tried to shove the feeling down. Compartmentalize it.
“Hey. Negan,” Daryl said to him.
Negan didn’t hear him.
“Negan…” Daryl tried again.
Still no answer.
“HEY! Earth to asshole!”
Negan was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts.
“Some help here?” Daryl hissed at him.
They had found an abandoned strip mall a couple towns over, and Daryl was trying to push open the back door to what seemed to be a former nail salon. Negan had been standing motionless, staring off into space for at least thirty seconds. He joined Daryl and pushed his weight against the door. They had split up from Carol and Aaron in order to cover more ground. This was the third store they’d searched, and they still hadn’t found much. Maybe Carol and Aaron had better luck.
The door finally gave way with a groan. The salon was dark and quiet but had already been picked clean. Two walkers shuffled between the overturned manicure stations. Negan and Daryl dispatched them without much effort. The only useful things left were a box of gloves and a roll of cotton. Negan’s thoughts drifted back to Maggie despite himself, and he wondered if she still wanted to kill him.
“So…that supply truck that we passed on our way in…” Negan said quietly.
“Yeah, what about it?” Daryl asked. Â
“It came from Hilltop, right?”
“Yeah,” Daryl replied.
Negan was silent.
“Why?” Daryl asked.
“Uh… I think the widow is back,” Negan said carefully.
Daryl froze.
“You sure?”
“Pretty damn sure.”
“Why didn’t you say anything sooner, asshole?” Before Negan could reply, Daryl pushed past him and headed out the back. “We’re leaving.”
“Woah, whoa, hold on, cowboy.” Negan turned after him.
Not yet.
He wasn’t ready.
“We came all this way.” Negan tried to reason with him, following him out into the parking lot.
“Don’t care.” Daryl climbed onto his bike.
Carol and Aaron came jogging into the parking lot from the other side of the strip mall. “What’s going on?” Carol called out.
“Maggie’s back,” Daryl replied.
There was a beat of silence.
“So, we’re leaving. Now.” Daryl ordered.
“You certain?” Carol asked, her voice wavering slightly. Carol rarely let her emotions show, but Negan could tell there was some hope in her voice.
Negan groaned. “Come on, guys. We don’t have enough to go back now.”
“Then you can stay here and walk home,” Aaron said curtly. Â
Negan could feel his chest tighten, but without another word, he climbed into the truck.
As the truck rumbled back toward Alexandria, all Negan could see was green.
***
By the time they made it back to the gates of Alexandria, it was around 2 o’clock in the afternoon. The sun was high and the midday heat was muggy and uncomfortable. The trip had been silent the entire way back, but there was a charged feeling hanging in the air. For everyone else in the car, it was excitement and hope. For Negan, it was a pit in his stomach.
Alexandria’s gates opened and Carol drove the truck inside, parking it off to the side. Daryl followed after them with his bike. Once parked, Negan got out of the truck, slung his pack over his shoulder, and tried to quietly slip away toward his house. He walked a few steps, head down, hands in his pockets, his boots kicking up dust as he went. But then he heard the safety of a gun click off behind him. He stopped but didn’t turn around.
“Why the fuck are you here?” Her voice was low and cold, but Negan recognized it immediately.
He still didn’t turn around.
“I asked you a question.”
By this point, people were starting to stare and gather around. Negan sighed as he slowly took his hands out of his pockets and raised them in a surrendering motion. “Why, hello sweetheart. I missed you too.” His voice dripped with sarcasm. “I think I should be the one giving you this warm welcome home.” Despite his outward demeanor, Negan could feel his heart hammering against his ribs.
Her eyes narrowed at him. “Is that a threat?” She steadied her pistol.
“No, no, I wouldn’t dream of threatening you, Maggie.” A smirk tugged at his lips. “Just saying we haven’t seen you in a while.”
“I asked what you’re doing here. Why aren’t you in your cell?” There was a biting coldness in her tone that could cut through metal.
“Cell?” Negan raised an eyebrow. He knew that was exactly where she wanted him to be. After a brief moment, he chuckled. “You’ve been gone a long time. Things have changed around here since you left.”
Maggie’s lip twitched, her hand shaking just a little.Â
Conversations around the square died almost immediately. Everyone’s eyes were on the two of them. Gabriel had stepped out of the supply pantry when he heard the commotion outside.Â
“Maggie, think about what you're doing,” he interjected softly.Â
“Shut up,” she snapped, shutting him down immediately.Â
Negan could feel the anger emanating out of the woman. He stood there, eyes locked onto hers, challenging her with his cocky grin, daring her to pull the trigger.Â
He took her in for the first time in seven years, realizing that she wasn’t the same Maggie as before.
She’d changed.
Older.
Harder.
Still beautiful.
Negan immediately regretted the thought. Hell, this woman had a gun pointed at his face, and all he could notice was how beautiful she looked.
After a tense moment of silence, Daryl stepped between the two. “Maggie, he’s right. Lots has changed,” he said quietly. “Put the gun down.”
“No! Daryl,” her voice quivered. “He killed…he killed…”
She couldn’t finish her sentence. The emotion was too much for her to handle. “I will NEVER forgive him,” she shouted.
“Nobody’s asking you to,” Daryl said simply.
Maggie’s lips tightened and Negan could see the fight of desperation and self-control in her face. She wore the exhaustion of a woman who’d spent years on the road. He felt a twinge of remorse inside him. He knew he was the cause of her suffering, and he didn’t deserve her forgiveness. He didn’t deserve anything from this woman…except maybe getting shot by her.
In the silence that followed, a small voice came out of the crowd. “...Negan? Are you okay?” It was Judith, her voice hesitant. She stood a few feet away from him, but he could see concern in her eyes. He knew Judith didn't recognize the woman pointing a gun at him. Sure, she had heard stories of her Aunt Maggie, but she didn't know what she looked like.
“I’m fine, kiddo,” Negan replied, his voice steady and calm, “It's just a little misunderstanding between friends. Isn’t that right, Maggie?”
Maggie looked at Judith, and something in her expression changed, softened. She lowered the gun slightly. She looked back at Negan, her eyes hardening once more. For a moment Negan thought she might raise the gun again.
Instead, Maggie let out a frustrated sigh, lowered the gun completely, and stormed off. “I swear to God, if I see your face around here…” she said pointedly to Negan as she walked away, letting the sentence trail off, but her intention was clear.
Once Maggie rounded the corner, Daryl looked over at Negan.
“I didn’t do that for you,” he said. “I just don’t want to clean up the damn mess if she killed you.”
“Yeah, I get it,” Negan replied tiredly. The whole encounter reminded him just how exhausted he was. He turned to Judith, “Daryl’s gonna take you home now, okay?” There was still concern in her eyes. “I promise you, everything is fine. Your Aunt Maggie will come around,” not quite believing the statement himself. He gave her a quick hug. “Now, go.”
He watched as Daryl and Judith walked towards the Grimes’ house, and then he turned back and slowly started to trudge toward his own house.Â
Seven years. And nothing had changed. So much for hoping she had forgotten his face.
Leaving Alexandria wasn’t an option for him. He already tried that. Despite everything, he felt like he had built at least a semblance of a home here.Â
And he wasn’t going to let this damn stubborn woman push him out.
[END OF CHAPTER]
Author's Note
Thank you for reading! ❤️ I've been having a lot of fun writing this story!
If you enjoyed the chapter, I'd love to hear your thoughts. This is my first fanfic, so I'm always happy to hear feedback!
And if you'd like to be notified when Chapter Two goes up, send me an ask or reply to this post to be added to the tag list!
Next chapter coming soon.
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