Famous Love series - 1 2 3 4 5 -(Reader is part of Sherlock cast and meet Jensen in a Comic Con)
Mentions of Love -(Jensen always blush when the fans ask about the reader)
She's (not) confident. - 1 2 -(Reader is part of Supernatural cast and have a low self esteem and a huge crush on Jensen)
Finding Jensen -(Reader and Jensen talk about their future)
Daddy Issues- 1 2 -(Reader is a teenager actress that works in Supernatural, with some trouble with her dad)
You're my home series - 1 2 3 4 5-(Reader is a young single mom and meet Jensen in a Supernatural convention)
Far from home - (Dad Jensen and uncle Jared go to Marvel studios to visit the reader and her boyfriend, Tom Holland.)
L.A Nightmares - (Jensen and the reader are co-stars and travel to L.A together, just to pass throught a series of unfortunate events.)
Dean Winchester
Who's in control? -(Demon!Dean try to kill his pregnant girlfriend)
Don't leave me -(Dean and the reader are having huge fights and she almost die.)
Just the way you are -(Reader tries to tell her boyfriend, Dean, that she is bisexual)
Blue - (Dean finds out about the reader's true feelings about their ‘friends with benefits’ relationship. Song fic: Blue - The Neighbourhood)
Jared Padalecki
Missed -(Reader is feeling a bit sad from having her boyfriend and dad away) (Cole Sprouse x Reader, Dad!Jared)
Hero - (Jared steps up in a Con when see the reader being harassed by a volunteer for something stupid)
Always keep fighting - (A very meaningful intimate conversation with the one who helped you overcome your depression many years ago. Jared Padalecki) (Platonic!Jared x Reader / Jensen x Reader)
Sam Winchester
Family -(Sam and the reader have a little surprise in her labor)
The one where Sam is a dom - (Dean finds out about the secret relationship between Sam and the reader)
HWC 1 - (Sam winchester x reader, Sam winchester x ruby)
Castiel
69 - (Reader and Cas have just begun a relationship and everything the reader says Dean turns it to sexual)
Winchester brothers
You're safe now -(Reader has a abusive boyfriend and she ask the brothers for help)
She was 17 and never learn to smile -(Charlie Bradbury discover a huge secret about the Winchester family)
Winchester Sister
I won't lose you- 1 2 -(The little Winchester tries to kill herself)
Speak to big brother -(Dean finds out that his little sister is not a virgin anymore)
Mad World - (Reader is the one to struggle with Lucifer’s hallucinations instead of Sammy)
HWC 3 - (“There’s an interesting story behind that”)
Drabbles
Dean - My costume came two sizes smaller. Is it too revealing?
Sam -You’re the one who wanted to put his complicated costume, now you take it off by yourself. I don’t even care if i have to enjoy myself with own hand.
Sam - I’m too drunk to go back home. You mind if I crash on your couch? Or your bed…?
Balthazar - 1 2
Would Include
Being Jared's daughter
Being Jensen's daughter
Being Misha's daugther
Being Jared's little sister
Being Jensen's little sister
Being the Winchester's little sister
Sherlock Holmes
Sucker for pain -(Sherlock finds out that his little sister is self harming)
Marvel
Mistaken 1 2 - (Robert Downey Jr finds out that his daughter is dating his co-worker.)
Personal Mutiverse - (Reader goes to ‘No Way Home’ studios to keep her brother, Tom, company. But end up falling in love with another Spider Man.)
Brooklyn 99
Work this out - (Jake and the reader have a friends with benefits relationship and suddenly she starts to act strange.)
Harry Potter
In the Shadow of the fifth floor - (Sebastian Sallow is mad that the reader keeps getting herself hurt on missions. He knows exactly how to help.)
The magic in my bones - (The consequences of protecting your ancient magic leave you a mess. Sebastian finally realizes that he has been asking you to take the pain away from the wrong person.)
Attack on Titan
Bloody Nightmare - (Levi Ackerman wakes up from a nightmare to an empty, bloody bed and you nowhere to be seen.)
Wildflower - (Reader needs to face the feeling of falling in love at the same time of dealing with the ghost of an old friend. Songfic: Wildflower -Billie Eilish)
Checking out ao3 after few days away and there are already so many new fics (without even mentioning updates!) 😻 So I wanted to post a reminder to support creators - our fandom gets so many amazing works but due to lack of support, a lot of authors get discouraged. Kudoses and comments matter! Sometimes even one person who lets the author they enjoyed their fic makes the difference! ⭐️
Chapt 14 is up :) Thought I’d remind you guys that this story actually exists lol It’s been a while since the last update, but here’s a little visual for you: some of my inspirations, the music I listen to while writing, and plenty of spoilers (~ wink wink ~)
If you don't know the story yet:
"You wake up in a hospital bed with needles in your arm and a bandage on your left wrist.
A suicide attempt that you remember nothing about.
It's already decided. You're going to the Marleyan Military Psychiatric Unit.
And your psychiatrist waiting for you there is the man whose name has been haunting your dreams for months: Dr. Levi Ackerman."
DID YOU KNOW that sometimes characters lie. out loud to others and internally to themselves, and it'll happen right there on the page. other times they are just flat out wrong and don't know it. oftentimes they don't ever find that out. a sizable portion of any story is decidedly not cold hard fact.
Notes: These are my thoughts on how the events following the end of the main game would unfold. This can be read as a second part to my one-shot, 'In the Shadow of the Fifth Floor,' or it can be read as a standalone :) I wrote it as if the events of the game took place during their final year at Hogwarts.
Summary: The consequences of protecting your ancient magic leave you a mess. Sebastian finally realizes that he has been asking you to take the pain away from the wrong Sallow.
The Slytherin dorms didn’t have any windows.
But you could tell that it was raining outside.
Because the snakes’ common room was practically inside of the great lake, it was normal to hear the soothing sound of water sometimes but even worse than that - it was always so freaking cold. Even inside of the covers, you could feel your feet freezing. In some other time, for sure Sebastian would roll his eyes and get you fluffy socks without you asking. Sebastian. Just the thought of him made you curl up further in bed, clutching the blanket tighter to yourself.
You knew it was raining outside because it was raining inside of you too.
It was impossible to not wonder if it had something to do with the magic running in your veins. Since Isidora’s repository has been opened, the weather hasn't been the best. Grey clouds covered the sky, and you could feel the ancient magic still lingering in the air. Sometimes, waves of warmth just randomly ran through your body, pumping through your veins - just like it did when you gathered all of that power just to lock it in once more. Sometimes, echoes of voices whispered in your ear - just like it always did when you approached a concentrated spot of that magic. Not magic, no… a fucking burden.
You never asked for any of this. There wasn’t anything special about you. So why, Merlin, why you of all incredible wizards out there, were cursed to carry that responsibility.
The fate of the wizard world counted on you and because of that, Professor Fig was dead.
The familiar sound of the cracking of your old door opening made you slightly peek your head to see who had come into the room.
“You missed dinner.” Ominis’ voice shattered the silence. “Again.”
Your head fell back in the bed and an annoyed huff left your lips as you tightened the covers around you. Maybe if he thought you were sleeping he would leave.
“I know you’re not sleeping.”
Yeah, he could be blind, but sure wasn’t stupid.
“I’m not hungry.” You mumbled quietly. Quite a few seconds followed your statement, when you thought you actually succeeded in scaring him away from there, you felt the edge of your bed sink, and you could sense the care Ominis took to avoid crushing your feet. “What do you want, Ominis?”
“I brought you an apple and some biscuits.”
Every little one of his unsuccessful tries of reaching you kind of made you irritated but poor guy… you knew he was trying his best to look after you. Because that was the type of friend Ominis were. Deep down, you knew that guilt must have been eating him away as well - and his care towards you maybe was him trying to make up for his failed attempt of helping Sebastian.
You slowly sat on the bed, for a moment being grateful that Ominis wouldn’t see the disheveled hair of a person who has barely gotten out of bed lately.
“Thanks.” You whispered out. Taking the napkin-wrapped treats from his hands, you took a small bite of one of the biscuits. Your stomach growled.
“You haven’t been eating… haven’t been out of this room.” Ominis started to list. “Have you even been showering?”
“...eventually.”
“(Y/N).” He called out making you immediately let out an angry sigh, entering defensive mode.
“If you’re here to lecture me…”
“I’m not.” He stated. “I’m not. I’m just… trying to look out for you. For Merlin’s beard (Y/N), it’s not fair that you keep treating one of my best friends so poorly out of guilt.”
Ouch. That one hurted.
You knew it wasn’t fair to him. To keep splitting himself into your dorm and Sebastian’s, trying to put you both up back on your feet. To see his two best friends entering a black hole of sadness and trying to be the person to save you. But you never fucking asked for any of that.
“I heard you crying the other night.” He continued gently, sensing your silence. “It’s alright. I’m not here to make you talk… I just didn’t want you to be alone with it all.”
Immediately you felt the uninvited hot tears blurring your vision.
“I don’t know what to do, Ominis.” You confessed in a small straightened voice, already hoarse from the uncontrollable cry you were holding.
“C’m here.” He opened his arms inviting you in.
You collapsed into your best friend's embrace, letting all the stored-up tears pour out. He held you close, offering you all the comfort he had. It was more than enough, way more than you deserved.
“You did what you thought was right.” He eventually murmured, caressing your hair. You denied with your head, pulling back from his shoulder to meet his gaze.
“Was it, tho?” You shrugged, wiping the tears that were stuck to your cheeks. “Right… Trying to protect that stupid power killed Professor Fig-”
“His death was not your fault.” He interrupted. “It was Ranrok’s.”
“I’m not sure it was.” A dry laugh escaped your throat. “I don’t know what to think anymore. This power… it speaks to me, Ominis. I can hear it in my head.”
“And what does it say?”
This made you reflect for a moment. “It’s not exactly it. It's more a.. them. I can hear the hurting that Isidora took out of the people, the whispers, the mumblings… I don’t know if keeping them locked was the right thing to do. Maybe she was right, maybe it deserved to see the daylight.”
“(Y/N)...” Ominis started softly, interlacing your hand in his. “Are you telling me that you would prefer to be totally numb right now than feeling this sorrow?”
You weren’t expecting that reflection.
You were burdened to carry Isidora’s legacy. The ancient magic that allowed the wizards and witches who had it, to take away pain. In theory it was a lovely practice but taking away someone’s ability to feel hurt was more complicated than it seemed.
“Your grief for Professor Fig makes him alive in your memories.” Ominis said. “You’re only hurt by Sebastian’s actions because… because of your love for him. I don’t think any of it would exist without the pain, darling.”
Your heart twisted, ached, pounded fast in your chest.
“Oh Seb.” You titled your head to the side, remembering the boy. “I wanted to be there more for him, I really wanted to.”
“He says the same about you.” Ominis chuckles humorless. “He has been doing better, (Y/N). We even went to Hogsmeade last weekend. I honestly think he’s just embarrassed of it all. And of you. He knows what he did was wrong, he’s dealing with it.”
“Right, wrong.” You rolled your eyes so fucking tired of that speech. “Is there even a line between them? The world isn’t black and white, Ominis.”
He stayed quiet, surprised with your sudden anger for the world but not judgemental, no. Just attentive.
“Harlow is in jail. But Rookwood is dead.” You shut your eyes, not wanting to remember everything that had happened to you. “I killed him, Ominis. Just because he was bad, does this make killing fine? This makes me any different than Sebastian?”
Ominis’ lips turned into a fine line, knowing how delicate the whole situation was. He wanted to say ‘yes’, but it wasn’t that simple. You and Sebastian both used the killing curse on someone. You both took someone’s chance to do different, to do better.
“I’m not here to point fingers.” He sighed. “And I don’t have the answer. All I know is that you both have people worried about you, who are giving you a chance to move on. You still have each other, for Merlin’s sake. But you’re about to lose all of that too if you keep treating yourself like this. You have to get out of this room, (Y/N).”
His harsh tone made your eyes widen. But you knew he was right.
“Ok.”
“Ok?” He repeated, surprised and suspicious of your defeat.
“Yeah, ok.” You whispered. “I’ll do that.”
“I’m always here for you, darling.”
“I know.” You said painfully, giving him a slight kiss on the knuckles. No matter how bad the situation was, Ominis was and was always going to be, there for you. “Tomorrow we leave for breakfast together, my friend.”
..
“You’re a little troublemaker, aren’t you?”
The baby mooncalf stared at you with those big wide eyes and tilted his head.
“I believe you’re mistaking who is the real troublemaker around here, love.”
The sound made you snap your head quicker than if you were in the middle of a fight. You would recognize that voice no matter where. Sebastian leaned against the wall, arms crossed, his smirk barely touching his mouth.
Although you hated to admit it, Ominis intervention did in fact give you enough strength to take small steps back towards the world outside your blankets. The morning after it, when you stepped into the mess hall for breakfast, you could swear everyone stopped everything just to look at you. Maybe that kind of interaction was way too soon. So in the next few days, you decided to settle down by coming down to the snake's common room to have afternoon tea with your blind friend and some other colleagues. Then you started to attend classes - Professor Weasley never spoke a word about your absences. And one day you even decided to accompany Natty to see a round of the crossed wands (a bad idea, because when Lucan saw you, he made sure to hug you strongly and thank you for being the Hero of Hogwarts).
Urgh, that title made you nauseous.
Poppy has been visiting your room of requirement to take care of the rescued beasts, even though you never asked her to. But you were grateful. You discovered that hanging out in there with her and the beasts was actually kind of therapeutic.
“Just crossed paths with Poppy on my way here. She said you accidentally left the Vivarium’s doors open and the beasts turned the place upside down. I had to see it for myself.”
You rolled your eyes with his words.
It wasn't the first time you heard his voice since your quarantine period was over, but it was the first time he was speaking directly at you. Every time you crossed paths with Sebastian, in the mess hall or in classes, your heart would miss a beat. He would stare at you like he wanted to say something more, but before he could open his mouth, you were already leaving. Distancing your way as far as possible.
“For your information, it was them that found a way of breaking the enchantment and traversing the door ok?” You defended yourself, getting up off your spot. “And since you’re here, maybe you could actually help me take them back to the Vivarium?”
He pushed himself off the wall with a lazy shrug. “If you insist.”
It took you some minutes of cursing and running around, until you could finally guide all of the animals back to their place. The unspoken awkwardness between you even disappeared for a while, it felt almost… normal.
“And we’re done.” You said satisfied, when you pushed the last runaway toad frog back to their Vivarium swamp.
At the lack of response, you frowned your eyebrows looking at Sebastian. He was frozen up, staring at your Threstals.
Oh.
“Seb-”
“I hate...” He interrupted you with a gulp. “I hate the fact that even if you weren't able to see them before, you would now because you watched me kill my…”
You sighed, looking away, and surprised yourself with how quiet and dark your voice turned.
“He wasn’t the only one I saw dying these last weeks, Sebastian.”
You got out there in silence, choking on the defeating silence. He trilled behind you downstairs to the second floor of the room of requirement.
He frowned. “You conjured a bed in here? Have you… been sleeping here?”
You shrugged. “Sometimes.”
Sebastian sat by the edge of it watching as you started watering the plants, putting some books back on the shelf in an agonizing slow pace. He knew you were doing to stall whatever interaction was going to happen between you. He rolled his eyes, unable to stop himself, and in a sweep of his wand, everything magically straightened out.
“What was that for?” You cried in indignation.
Sebastian almost laughed at your annoyed face.
He patted the spot beside him in the bed. “C’m here.”
As you approached, he scooted his body further toward the center. As you braced yourself, placing one knee and an arm on the mattress to climb on, he tugged your arm, making you lose your balance and sending both of you tumbling down to lie side-by-side, facing each other.
You huffed, blowing away a few strands of hair that had fallen across your face.
“I forgot how much of a dick you are.”
He chuckled, helping you by putting the remaining unsolicited strands behind your ear. You froze, stopping squirming when you finally realized how close he was. His soft touch, his hazel eyes staring at yours… Merlin… you missed him.
“I’m sorry.” Sebastian whispered softly after some seconds just looking into your eyes.
“What are you being sorry for?” You answered in the same tone, slipping an arm beneath your head to cushion it. He did the same.
“Everything.” He admitted with a sorrowful expression. “But mostly… for not being there for you. I know these last weeks have not been easy, I didn’t give you the support you needed after Fig’s death and… well, all of it.”
You blinked, eyes burning with the mention of your old dear late professor.
“We’re not so different, you and I.”
“Don’t” Sebastian said with a sharp voice, surprising you. “Don’t you dare compare yourself to me.”
“Why not?” You frowned, shifting your gaze from one eye to the other. “I haven’t been there for you either, Seb.”
“How can you still be thinking about me with all of that shit going on?” Sebastian cried. “I… I killed him, (Y/N). He was my uncle and I killed him”
You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath.
“... and that proves that we’re not so different.”
Sebastian stared at you for a few seconds. “Deep down… I always asked myself if Solomon wasn’t the one responsible for Anne’s curse. Sometimes I comfort myself with this though as the reason why it was so easy to do it. But you, love… you killed the real person who cursed my sister. I will be forever grateful for that. I’m just so sorry that it had to be you… I know what kind of burden that is and I didn’t wish that on you.”
You twisted your lips feeling the twist in your chest for listening to those words falling out of the lips of the boy your heart ached for.
“You know that even if Anne hadn’t run away… I couldn’t have helped her, right?”
Sebastian sighed, rolling onto his back and looking up at the ceiling.
He nodded slightly. “Yeah I figured it out with what Ominis told me you told him about your magic.”
You raised an eyebrow. He continued.
“You have been listening to it, haven’t you?”
“After I entered in touch with Isidora’s repository, yes..” You gulped. “I hear the voices. All of those people. They were suffering, but inside. It was a loud pain. Anne’s problem has never been emotional, it’s physical. It’s way beyond what my power can reach.”
He nodded again. It took him a moment to finally turn to his side once again and stare at you. Looking at his hazel eyes, you were sure you could lose yourself for eternity on them. “You’re only hurt by Sebastian’s actions because of your love for him” Ominis’ voice invaded your mind. Fuck you already had loosen yourself in Sebastian, didn’t you?
One night before he lost his mind, going to that damned Catacomb, Sebastian gifted you - or ruined you - with your first intimate act together. He kissed you like you were the only girl in the fucking universe and you let him own every single part of your body. It was already his anyway.
“I’m glad you don’t hate me.”
“I could never, Seb.” You whispered feeling his hot breath in your skin because of his closeness. “We’re the same.”
It was late at night when Ominis decided to check the room of requirement. He hadn’t heard from you, nor Sebastian for hours now and the quiet triggered something in him - you two were up to something. After summoning his desire to find you, the door of the seventh floor showed its way. Ominis entered, going down the stairs and thought his wand was deceiving him when his seismic vision showed… you two laying together in the bed?
Not only sleeping side by side, but actually… cuddling?
Ominis opened a small smile. He conjured a heavy blanket for both of you and got out of the room.
..
Since he opened his eyes, Sebastian knew it was going to be a hard day.
The last two weeks have been - he dared to say - good. The void in his chest was starting to get a little smaller since you restarted speaking to him. The wounds were still stinging, don’t get it wrong, but the desperate agony got quieter knowing that there was hope for your relationship.
He had been sleeping with you in the room of requirement, most nights. Comforting himself with the warmth of your body and the lingering touches under the sheets. You were both passing through a hard moment so he hadn’t dare make a move, how could he? Kiss you again after… after using the sparks of your power that remained in his body after sex to activate the relic.
But yes, although he selfishly longed, during those mornings you woke up together, for you to realize he was rock hard cuddling against you - and that you would finally bless him with the feeling of being inside you once again - he contented himself with long hugs and whispered goodnights.
Unfortunately, your care could cure him only to a certain point, he bitterly realized. Your soft touch couldn’t stop his nightmares of his own voice screaming one of the forbidden curses. Not the same kind of love of course, but your company would never replace the familiar company of his own twin sister.
“You’ve seen (Y/N)?” He asked Ominis when he popped down in his usual spot on the Slytherin table in the mess hall, not seeing you around for a bit now.
His best friend shrugged.
“Sometimes she still needs moments away from everyone, I wouldn’t worry much.”
Sebastian narrowed his eyes. He knew Ominis well enough to recognize when something was off. “You’re hiding something.”
“I’m not.” Ominis said too quickly, shifting uncomfortably.
“Yes, you are. Tell me.”
Ominis stayed silent, staring at a piece of chicken on his plate for long enough to make Sebastian start shaking his leg anxiously. Had something happened to you? Had you finally realized that Sebastian was a horrible person and decided to cut ties?
Then he let out a long, tired breath. “I… I received a letter from Anne.”
Oh.
Sebastian’s heart lurched in his chest with the information he wasn’t expecting. His fork slipped from his hand, clattering against his plate. “What did it say?”
“She’s been… struggling. I’m worried about her. I’m going to see her this weekend.”
Sebastian’s pulse thundered in his ears. “Let me go with you.”
“You know I can’t, Sebastian.”
He knew.
But it didn’t make it hurt any less. The words cut deeper than he expected. His throat burned, his eyes stung, and for a terrifying moment, he thought he might break down right there in the middle of the Great Hall.
That haunted day in the Catacombs when he lost his uncle, he also lost his sister.
Anne couldn’t stand the sight of Sebastian anymore. Now, she was suffering alone, and he knew getting Cruciated would have been a mercy by comparison. Ironic how he never even knew what that pain felt like. Sebastian had flirted with danger, casting Unforgivables as if they were nothing, hurting everyone around him while remaining completely unscathed himself. He wanted to return on that day in the Scrythorium, beg you to cast the malediction on him instead, to curse him like you truly mean it and-
A sudden realization struck him. He pushed back from the table and left without another word, although Ominis tried to call him back, the clamor of students faded into nothing behind him. He didn’t know where he was walking until his feet brought him to the one place he knew you would be.
The Undercroft.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
You sat cross-legged on the cold stone floor, your gaze fixed on the Triptych. You didn't even bother to look away when Sebastian’s voice resonated through the chamber.
“I keep thinking… there has to be more, Seb. Some reason for all of this. Some way it could have ended differently.” You admitted quietly. “I wish Isidora would show up and explain me her side of the story, explain me how the fuck control this burden.”
Sebastian frowned as he took a seat beside you on the floor, licking his lips thinking about the most careful ways to approach you.
“Don’t call your magic a burden, love.”
You scoffed. The two of you passed some minutes in silence looking at the empty painting on the wall.
“How… Did it make you feel? Getting in touch with the repository.”
You frowned at his question. “I already told you that.”
“No, you told me the consequences of it. But never how it felt at the time.”
The thought of it immediately made your throat close, overwhelming panic growing inside.
“Warm.” Your tongue let it slip before your mind could reflect. “I thought it was going to explode me. It was so so strong.”
Shame flushed your cheeks with the devious thought that followed, a whine escaping your lips. “But Merlin, I’ve never felt so good. It was powerful, it made me feel untouchable. It numbed me to anything else, just left the feeling that anything was possible.”
Sebastian’s lips parted with your confession. Oh he could imagine what that felt like. He remembered the taste of it when he was inside of you.
“What kind of twisted person am I to have enjoyed the feeling of the thing that killed Fig?”
He was quick to cup your cheeks with his hands, thumb wiping a single tear that fell off your eye. He noticed his fingers were already trembling a little.
“No, no, no…” Sebastian whispered. “Darling, his death was an accident. Don’t blame your magic.”
He didn’t let go, his knuckles caressing your face with a devastating tenderness. His thumb dipped lower, tracing the contour of your lips. His eyes were wide - filled with softness and a deep, aching hurt all at once. In the heavy silence, he wondered if you could listen to his heartbeat.
“You’re so good, my love.” Sebastian praised with a whisper. “I’m amazed by you, by what you can do, how you fight. You have a gift, you hear me? You’re so good.”
The praises made your eyes close, for the first time in weeks, relaxing into the promise that you weren’t evil. You felt Sebastian drop his forehead into yours, the closeness making you melt into him.
“What if you could still do good with it?” He suggested, shallowing dry, heart racing. He quickly continued when felt you backing away a bit, confused. “Ominis told me that Anne sent him a letter, that she’s been struggling…”
You almost rolled your eyes, a bitter taste crawling up your mouth.
“I’ve told you that I can’t take away her pain-“
“I’m not asking you to take away her pain” Sebastian denied with his head, staring you dead in the eyes. “Take mine.”
Of all the things you expected to hear from him, nothing could have prepared you for this.
You pulled back, forcing yourself to meet his hazel eyes, and a cold tremor shook your body. You found yourself staring at the exact same desperation in his expression he had worn in the Catacombs.
“What-”
“Listen to me.” Sebastian interrupted turning his whole body to ours. “We’ve both been fucking miserable after everything. You think I don’t hear you mumbling in your sleep? That I don’t hear you crying in the shower? I know it cause I’ve been the same fucking way. It’s never going to pass, (Y/N). Not really.”
Sebastian hooked a hand behind your knee and drew you inward. He sat back with his legs parted, adjusting your position until you were tucked against him, your legs resting heavily over his own.
“Take our pain… think about it, getting rid of this agony, of this guilt. (Y/n), we’re almost graduating, we can run away together. Start over, away from these feelings.”
Every fiber of your being urged you to pull away, you were well aware of how masterfully he could manipulate a situation. Yet, the promise of an easy escape from this miserable state was intoxicating. Perhaps, you could finally understand Isidora’s choice.
“Seb, I can’t… I-”
“Yes, you can, love. You can.” He was growing desperate, his hand squeezed your shoulders then they slipped to squeeze your hands. “Today when Ominis told me about Anne… I feel like drowning. Fuck-” He was trembling. “It’s fucking killing me. I can’t do this anymore.”
You hated seeing him in that situation. You hated being in that situation.
In your mind, you could see the pity looks everyone in Hogwarts threw at you when they saw your state. Of course you wanted to get better, it was killing you too… suddenly, a warm wave of ancient magic started to grow in your belly as the voices restarted mumbling in your head.
“Please, sweetheart.” His right hand brought yours up to his lips. He kissed your knuckles first, then the back of your hand, his breath warm against your skin. “Please.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, overwhelmed. Your heart was a frantic beat in your chest, and your mind raced a mile a minute.
“I’m afraid Seb…”
“What are you afraid of, darling? Hm?” He shushed you, his voice a low, vibrating murmur against your skin. He began to trail slow, feather-light kisses from your cheek to your jaw, then down to the sensitive curve of your throat. “Look, the Pensieve is still here. There’s goblin silver in it, isn’t there? We can put our sorrow in there... and forget it ever existed.”
‘You’re only hurt by Sebastian’s actions because of your love for him. I don’t think any of it would exist without the pain.’
You gulped when Ominis’ words invaded your head.
“I’m afraid that taking away the hurt in me, it will take away my love for you as well.”
It was enough to make Sebastian freeze.
He slowly pulled back from your skin, his breath hitching. This was the first time you had ever told him you loved him. His eyes were a mirror of admiration and surprise, flickering with an aching love that seemed to battle the hurt he still carried.
Fuck, you loved him.
A few weeks ago, he would dream about those words coming out of your mouth. You were a good team, worked well together. But there was a bitter taste in hearing them now… how could he have fucked you up so bad that you were doubting the solution of getting better just because if would take away your feelings for him? After everything he’s done… Sebastian definitely did not deserve a love like that.
Suddenly, his expression hardened, a much darker glint reflecting in his gaze.
“If loving me hurts you like that, then just get this fucking over with.”
He started to tap his hands around your boots, searching, and pulled your wand out handing it to you.
“Take it.”
The voices in your head grew louder, to a point that was almost insufferable. Like the power wanted you to do that.
Sebastian got up off the floor, helping you up as well. He guided you to be in front of the pensieve near the Triptych and nodded his head, encouraging.
“C’mon you can do this.”
Your hands were cold and trembling when you looked down, your wand already responding to your magic.
Right… Wrong… was there even a line between them?
As if by instinct, you raised your phoenix wand. Threads of white and dark light started weaving from both of your chests, intertwining and pulling. Every nightmare, scream, heavy guilt… the blinding grief….
Gone.
You both gasped as the threads found their way into the Pensieve. Sebastian was on you the next second, his hands cupping your face so tightly it almost hurt.
“How do you feel?” You whispered.
“Light.” A relieved, hoarse laugh bubbled in his chest. There was a strange glint in his eyes. “Powerful. You?”
Before you could even think about it, a tired smirk started to form on your lips.
I was just thinking how easy it is to get discouraged from writing and continuing fics. I don’t know if it’s this fandom in general that’s like this, or if many are but 🥲
When I started posting my fic a little over a year ago, I spent six months without getting a single comment. The views kept going up, I had subscriptions, bookmarks, a few kudos, but absolutely nobody took the time to let me know if they liked where my story was going or that they were excited for an update. Nothing. I really love the story I’ve come up with, and I think I’m going to see this thing through because finishing it would be something I’m so proud of, but I write it just for myself honestly.
I feel like fanfic is one of the only spaces where you can directly communicate with an author, let them know what you think of their writing, and it feels a lot like I am just presenting my works to invisible people. Ive had people tell me they loved a oneshot of mine, or my fic, were rereading it, and I was just SHOCKED bc they had never commented on it, liked it, left a kudos…
Nobody has ever really talked to me about being excited about my fic, telling me their theories on what they think might happen, and idk it just feels so lonely to me (im not talking about the art side of things at all lol). Maybe it’s a reciprocal thing…I try to comment and reblog and read thing when I have the time, but my tbr keeps growing and im such a slow reader bc i spend so much time writing the comments i leave😭 and my writing updates get slower bc I feel like I’m just writing it for myself.
Btw this isn’t me begging for comments or interaction, it’s just feelings I’ve been having and I wonder if it’s normal to just like. Not get any engagement or interaction whatsoever on my writing even though the views keep going up a lot. I just share my story and my art bc I love talking with you all, connecting…I try my hardest to spread the love and give more visibility to the stories I love and cool things I come across♥️ and I also understand being shy and I NEVER expect comments😭 they’re always just a surprising and amazing bonus, but when I don’t get ANY I start to wonder what I’m doing🫠
give them a variety of exes. give them relationships that shaped who they are but did not last. give them people they tried very hard to love but it didn't work out. give them situationships that taught them things. give them something deep that was real but could not endure. things that hurt. things that ended amicably. people with whom hot passion cooled to warm affection and became undying friendship.
no more first and only. give me the context of what made them know the next or one after was final and right.
I truly truly believe that the most important thing you can do in fandom is be a cheerleader. comment on fics. reblog art and rave in the tags. support the people making the things you want to see. this is how you keep a fandom alive. this is how you get more of what you want. you never know: that person could have decided to make more just because you liked it.
(Art posted by @shalom on Pinterest - but not sure if it's AI or not? Anyways...)
Friday - 16:20 p.m
You couldn’t stop your own feet from pacing around the room, anxiously.
It was already time for your session, wasn’t it? Obviously you didn’t have a clock to check, but you could sense it was. When you asked Historia about it, she told you to wait; she was going to come get you when ready.
Everything that happened recently was playing like a loop in your head. It felt like all of it was somehow connected but still missed a piece to start making sense. That weird speech of Reiner’s was making your left wrist burn from behind the white bandage. Should you be-
The sound of the door opening made you stop.
Levi slowly entered the room, closing the door behind him while avoiding your gaze.
All of your racing thoughts suddenly went quiet just from looking at him. Levi was… stunning. He’d always wear suits but this one was definitely the most expensive one you had seen him wearing. It was black and carried a small green medal on the left side of his chest. Instead of a tie, there was a white jabot hanging out of his collar. His hair damp as if he’d just showered. He was already dressed up to go to the Gala.
The first time he was in your room, he was saving you from the pool of your own blood after breaking the chair. The second, putting a camera to watch you, making you attempt to punch him. You couldn’t anticipate what was going to happen in the third one.
Your throat dried and even if you wanted to let out a clever comment, your mouth went shut as you observed him leaning against your table on the other side of the room, facing you.
Finally he lifted his gaze to lock his grey eyes onto yours.
“Our session is going to be here today?” You found yourself asking, not being able to look away from his stare.
“I’m not here for our session, Eight.” Levi said with a hard, hoarse voice. “I’m just here to let you know that I’m transferring your case to Erwin.”
Your ears started ringing with the phrase.
What?
His words hit you like a punch. Actually no. You would prefer if he had actually punched you. He was… giving up on you? Why did it physically hurt? The ache on your heart left you feeling like you were being dumped.
“You wouldn’t dare.” You whispered betrayed.
Levi held your gaze for a few seconds, before looking away for a moment and sighing.
“It’s going to be the best for us both.”
“The best?” You could feel the rage starting to form in the pit of your stomach. You advanced a few steps closer to him. “Where is this even coming from?”
He stared at you with a firm intimidating look. “You know exactly where.”
You wanted to laugh. A bitter ironic chuckle escaped your lips.
“Is this your way of admitting you saw me get off?”
Levi’s jaw locked.
“God, I should have known. You’re just a fucking coward-”
You abruptly stopped your angry steps towards him when you noticed the faint scar crossing his right eye.
“-what happened to your eye?”
Levi eyebrows flickered slightly seeing you interrupting yourself.
“None of your business.”
The scene of him running towards Paradis yesterday invaded your mind.
“It was Eren wasn’t it?”
Levi fought the urge of widening his eyes, straightening his posture when listening to your correct theory from something that was extremely confidential.
“Oh don’t be that surprised.” You rolled your eyes. “Everyone already knows that that devil is locked up in Paradis. The psychopath that killed his parents, his sister Mikasa…”
A gasp escaped your mouth with the speed of the situation, leaving you dizzy. This time, it was Levi that suddenly advanced in your direction with quick steps. Before you could even understand what was happening, you were pressed against the wall with his face just inches away from yours. His nostrils flared in anger. His hands pressing the wall on either side of your face. The scent of his cologne filled your senses, but all you could focus on was the pure, unadulterated shock in his eyes.
“How the fuck do you know about this?” He growled in a low intimidating tone. “Mikasa’s name has never been released to the media because of the relevancy of her real biological family.”
Your breath was ragged, still surprised with his reaction but mostly from his proximity.
“Stranger things have been happening to me…”
“I agree.” Levi interrupted, his voice laced with venom. “First you fumbled into my drawers to find my uncle’s name, now this. Care to explain what the fuck have you done to stole Eren’s folder?”
You furrowed your eyebrows, altering your gaze between his grey eyes and his mouth, trying to understand the situation.
“Fumbled in your drawers…” You echoed confused. “This was what you were talking about in the last session? You think I went through your things?”
“Stop messing with me, Eight!” He slammed his wrists against the wall, making you flinch at the sound. This was the most out of control you had ever seen him, and you never thought it was possible.
“I’m not!” You screamed. “I’m telling you the truth. You have to believe me!”
“I really don’t.” A quiet, bitter smirk touched Levi’s lips. Suddenly, he moved his face closer, and at that point you could practically feel the shadow of his lips on yours. He was so close. “I’m here to make you better. Not to believe in your madness.”
It was the first ever time he had used the word ‘mad’ to describe you.
You let out a loud ironic laugh. “You’re been doing a fucking great job at that, doc.”
Levi scoffed, rolling his eyes as his hands slid from the wall.
“Oh fuck you calling me doc like it doesn’t turn you on just to say it.”
A silent shock fell in the room.
You were both painting, looking at each other surprised.
It was out there now.
The confession.
You both wanted each other.
You gulped, tilting your head. Levi wanted you. You could see it in his eyes. You wanted him so fucking much. If you'd only lean in a little, your lips would meet, and you would kill the thing that was killing you.
As if he had noticed your intentions, Levi shook his head, stumbling two steps away from you. He looked scared, like the proximity to your body physically burned him.
Levi took his pocket watch from his suit, mentally cursing when saw the time.
“Where are you going?” You whispered confused when saw him already moving towards your door.
Levi shut his eyes closed, holding your doorknob, reflecting on his decision.
“To a fucking ball.” He said bitterly. “Got another Pixis to deal with now.”
Extracted of Chapter 10 of Echoes of Violence - Psychiatrist!Levi
