My main is @lils-of-the-valley so if you leave anything in the replies section and I decide to answer you, you're getting my main
My writing blog is @lils-writes so you can easily find just my fics here (but I sometimes forget to reblog so it might take some time before they show up)
My AO3 is LilsJ though I'm pretty sure everyone here knows that at this point
My IG is @lils.of.the.valley and I'll definitely be interacting a lot there, especially regarding what I should work on next, be it prioritize a certain fic or write a dumb drabble (perhaps even from your creative ingenious!)
Urbain stares at the bottle Harmony is holding up as she lets herself into his apartment. It’s a decently nice bottle from the little he knows, something he knows he’ll be able to drink without wondering why he’s doing it, which is never a good sign; if Harmony’s bringing something she knows he’ll drink, then something is up. She wants something or something happened, and by the look on her face, it’s the latter.
His mind is on autopilot as he clicks the door shut and turns the lock. His feet bring him to the kitchen, his hands already pulling the cabinet door open as he pulls out two wine glasses, but his eyes stay glued on the woman crashing down on his couch and opening the bottle. It should be concerning to him that she has a corkscrew opener among her gaggle of keys, but Urbain would rather not think too hard about it. There are far more concerning things about Harmony to think about than what she carries on her person at all time.
“So…” He’s careful, putting down the wine glasses onto the coffee table, his eyes still glued to the woman tossing aside the cork and pouring glasses that are far too full to be classy and proper. “What brings you here today?”
“Can’t I just want to see you?”
Harmony’s eyes are dull as she puts the bottle down with a little too much force. She hasn’t been around in a few weeks; most of their interactions have been accidental bump-ins at work, borderline awkward small talk as neither one of them needs anyone knowing that they’re intimately familiar with one another since that would bring up far too many questions and assumptions. They’ve barely spoken in far too long; Urbain had started to wonder if maybe Harmony was finally starting to move on and that he should maybe follow suit. But here she is, sunken into his couch, gulping down a nice wine that should probably be savored but is being consumed like a cheap vodka at a house party.
“I mean,” Urbain is slow to sip the wine, though it’s mostly because he’s ever so slightly on edge, “you can. But also, you don’t just show up at my place at nearly 10 with a bottle of wine to just see me. Or rather, you don’t sink into the couch with half a bottle in a wine glass if you’re here to just see me.”
Harmony sighs as she sets her glass down. Urbain follows suit, though he isn’t sure why. He’s grown accustomed to mirroring her movements; he’s got to start doing things of his own accord again. But as soon as his glass touches the table, maroon liquid crashing against the walls of the stemmed glass he never uses except when Harmony is over, he remembers why he’s the way he is. Her unpredictable nature can only be predicted by the one who’s been by her side for as long as he can remember, even if he has to remain invisible.
Arms wrap around shoulders that threaten to shake; a cheek is pressed against a shoulder tailored perfectly to her. Urbain holds Harmony close as she buries her face in the crook of his neck; she’s seeking comfort that he’s willing to give for free.
“D’ya think I’m a stone-cold bitch?”
“What?”
Something flares in Urbain’s chest as Harmony shifts against him. She’s not quite looking at him, but he sure is staring at her. He watches as her eyes dull, those gray eyes he’s known to shine under the light turning to something almost dead; she’s staring straight ahead, at nothing at all. Her mouth is moving, but the words don’t make any sort of sense.
“You can be honest with me: do you think I’m a stone-cold bitch?”
“You’re not a stone-cold bitch.” There’s a little too much anger in his voice; he needs to recompose himself. “Why the hell would you think you’re a stone-cold bitch?”
“That’s the last thing he said to me before I stormed out.”
The silence falls heavy in the room as Harmony pulls back to pick up her glass again. Her fingers curl around the widest part of the glass, her palm pressing against the pristine surface, but they quickly fall aside as Urbain grabs her shoulders and forces her to look at him. He can see his own reflection in those deep gray eyes; there’s fury pulling at every one of his features.
“Tell me you’re joking. Tell me he didn’t actually call you that.”
She doesn’t answer. Urbain’s hands fall aside as he pushes himself off the couch. Everything feels too forceful; he needs to calm himself right now. He needs to get a grip on himself before he does something stupid; Harmony’s grip on his wrist draws him back to the here and now.
“Where the fuck are you going like that?”
“To punch a motherfucker.”
“Urbain.” He sinks back into the couch; he’s not acting like himself, is he? “Don’t bother.”
Harmony is back in his arms. He wasn’t actually going to go do it; furthest he probably would have made it would have been to his car before chickening out. He knows he can be impulsive at times, that the wrong things can come out of his mouth, but Urbain has never been one to actually hit someone. He probably wouldn’t even know where to start, and he is in no position to start learning.
“You’re not stone-cold.” He buries his face against her hair, leaving a soft kiss right there. “Nor are you a bitch.”
“I’m a bit of a bitch, though.”
So Harmony is a bit of a bitch, but she’s always been one. It was a running joke between her and Lida, back when they were younger, though Urbain had walked in on them both agreeing that the biggest bitch was Naveen, winning by a landslide. But from the way they said it, it always seemed like a point of pride between the girls; why did it matter so much now? And why is Urbain so bothered about it now? Neither he, nor Harmony, ever really cared about how others referred to them. Why is he being so protective of a woman who does not need his protection?
Harmony’s cheek rests against Urbain’s shoulder; normally, she would have pushes she way out of his embrace or turned it to something else. She’s not one to stay put, but tonight, she just lets herself melt into his side. She lets him pepper kisses to the top of her head, whispering reassurances that she’s not a horrible monster or anything else that could have been said. She just stays there, breathing slowly, as Urbain promises her that she’s wonderful and that anyone who doesn’t realize that is a complete idiot who can’t see a good thing when it’s right there in front of them.
“You’re just saying that ‘cause you don’t like the guy.”
“I’m saying that because it’s true, Harms. You should be cherished.”
She shifts, sinking her knees into the couch as she turns to face Urbain. Had she been crying? She’d never admit to such a thing, but as Urbain instinctively runs his thumb along her cheekbone that seems stained with fading mascara, he can’t help but wonder. It just looks as though she had hurriedly scrubbed her makeup off, but missed a spot; it wouldn’t be unlike her to hide this from Urbain. It wouldn’t be unlike her at all, but asking her flat out won’t bring Urbain any closer to the truth. Instead, he just presses a kiss to the corner of her eye, a kiss that has her squirming but not moving away either.
“You deserve to be treated like you’re the only person who matters in the world.” A kiss to her cheek. “Like every moment with you is the best moment in the world, because it is.” He’s pulling her into a hug. “You deserve to be treated as if nothing in the world matters if it’s not you.”
Harmony’s cheek is pressed to Urbain’s shoulder; he can feel her steady breathing against his neck. Not a word leaves her lips, but she doesn’t need to say anything for Urbain to know what’s going through her head; he has known her long enough to be able to read her moods. She doesn’t believe him. She doesn’t dare believe him. She’s too flighty to let herself be treated like she matters; it’s a mystery as to how she has stayed by his side this long without disappearing.
“You deserve to be loved and nothing less than that.”
“And who in their right mind is going to love me like that?” She straightens herself out, reaching for her glass and holding it as she holds Urbain’s gaze. “You?”
Urbain doesn’t dare answer. He doesn’t dare ignite the spark. A loose cannon is never a good idea. So he keeps his head down; he takes a slow sip from his own wine glass, averting his eyes. He cannot love her; Harmony is not his to love. At least, not the way he wants to love her; all he can do is be her friend, and he can do that. He can, at the very least, be her best friend.
The silence is long; Harmony’s head finds its home against Urbain’s shoulder once more. Her whole body presses into his side, heavy and tired. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t hold the kisses back. Perhaps it’s just second nature to him, pressing his lips to her temple and reminding her that he’ll always be there for her. Maybe he knows nothing other than how to praise her, remind her of all her qualities. Most likely, he doesn’t want to think of anything but how much he adores her.
“We both know none of that is true.”
“Are you calling me a liar, Harmony?”
She relents; just as Urbain cannot bring himself to point out her flaws, Harmony doesn’t utter his. She just shifts once more, sinking her knees into the couch cushion again, facing him. She stares at him, maybe taking him in. She’s reaching out to him; Urbain melts as he always does. He is but a simple moth, drawn to the flame that is Harmony. He is but a simple man, unable to deny her anything.
“I would never.” She still uses the same detergent, the scent of lavender clinging to her clothes and hair. “If anything, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone quite as honest as you.” She still uses the same lip gloss, the one that smells sickeningly sweet. “Urbain.” She’s always that same Harmony, the one he cannot quit, no matter how hard he tries. “Please.” She is always the same one Urbain yearns for as her knees encase his hips. “Please make me forget about him.”
He shouldn’t. Urbain knows better than to fall for this, but time and time again, he finds himself in the same position. Time and time again, he’s pulling Harmony close, closing whatever little distance they had created. They both know better than this; they both break the unspoken promise. Regret will coat their morning, but bliss invades their night. Nothing but the here and now matters; nothing but Harmony matters to Urbain.
A kiss quickly turns to three, then to five. A moment last forever; for a split second, maybe Harmony can be his. Maybe in these trying times, in these broken moments, Urbain can find what he’s been looking for; for a moment, he can pretend this is their day to day. As hands climb into his hair, as kisses are presses to his mouth, he can let himself believe there is a world out there where they belong; there must be a place where this isn’t every type of wrong.
“Harms…” Her lips are ever so addictive. “I… You—We probably shouldn’t—”
Half-lidded eyes come into view; parted lips call for Urbain’s affection. They really shouldn’t. They never should; they always end up like this. Except this time, maybe Urbain can be stronger. Maybe this time, the guilt of the past will haunt him enough to stop him in his tracks. Maybe this time, Harmony’s rolling eyes won’t have his morals evaporating out of him.
“Never mind then.” A chill runs down Urbain’s spine as she pulls away. “I guess it was stupid of me to expect you to go along with whatever this is.” His resolve begins to waver. “Didn’t think you’d care that—”
Harmony is Urbain’s greatest weakness. Harmony can shatter him into a million piece and never will he complain. He’ll do as she says; desperation blurs his vision as he looks down at her, her wrist pinned to the couch. She’s beautiful, she’s gorgeous, she’s everything he wants; she’s always just out of his reach. Harmony is right there; can she stay here, just for a moment?
“Do you really want to forget about him? Even if it’s just for the next few hours?”
Urbain should pull away, forget about it all, stop indulging Harmony, but desperate times call for desperate measures. He’s no better than the scum of the earth; he falls back into old habits as Harmony pulls him close, laying kiss after kiss to his lips. He can’t bring himself to act rationally; he can’t bear the thought of refusing her anything and losing her more than he already has. If this is how he gets Harmony, then so be it. At least he has a part of her; better that than none of her.
Harmony is Urbain’s greatest weakness; Harmony knows exactly how to play him for a fool. It’s far from the first time Urbain has found himself in this position; it most likely will not be the last either. They’ll be here tomorrow, Harmony slipping back into her clothes and slipping back into her perfect life; Urbain will be here tomorrow, staring at his ceiling and wondering where it all went wrong for him. Tomorrow will come, but tonight is where they will stay. Just for the night, nothing but one another matters. Just for a moment, they can exist within the other’s life, exist as if there is nothing other than one another. Just for one night, they can pretend this is normal.
Urbain snaps back to reality. Everything looks hazy; Hotel Z’s kitchen is flooded with smoke. He can barely make out the shapes in this room that he knows all too well; there’s movement in the haze, but Urbain cannot figure out what is happening. His eyes are burning as he squints; dinner is burning.
“Shit!”
Everything is on autopilot; Urbain’s body refuses to cooperate. He knows he needs to open the windows, let the air flow through the kitchen, and turn off the stove. He knows every step to solve this problem; his body feels foreign, his feet melted into concrete. He can barely discern Lida through the smoke; he barely registers that she’s pulling the windows open, coughing. He barely realizes that she’s grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him back down into the chair he was sitting in.
“Urbain.”
Lida’s voice sounds so distant. She’s right there, right in front of him, but she seems so far away. Everything feels so far away, even himself. The only thing that is right there, pressing on his lungs, choking him, is that ever-present feelings of being useless. Because Urbain is useless. He’s completely useless. All Urbain does it cause problems, completely unhelpful. He can’t even bring himself to move and complete a simple task. He can’t even bring himself to move his hands. Wipe the tears away. He’s useless. He’s numb. Staring. Empty.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” So much. Everything. Everything is wrong with him. “You’ve been out of it for like a week and now you almost burn this whole place down!”
Urbain’s eyes fall to the ground. He deserves this. He deserves to feel so small and helpless. He deserves to be yelled at. Lida is completely withing her rights to be calling him out on his bullshit. Urbain has been nothing but a burden for the last week; he’s barely been able to keep his head above water all week. He’s just kept his head down and locks himself in his room; he’d done his best to keep up with his chores, but even that was a failure resulting in AZ scolding him. Urbain has become completely useless; now, he’s almost burning the whole building down with his failure of a meal.
“Urbain?”
“I’m fine.”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s…” A sigh. “Just… thinking of my mum.”
Uncomfortable silence engulfs the kitchen as the smoke begins to dissipate. Urbain can congratulate himself once more; he’s ruined yet another thing.
Lida just stands there, rocking on the balls of her feet. She’s pursing her lips; Urbain cannot make out the meaning of her expression. Is she pitying him? Angry at him? Finding the whole thing stupid? Urbain can’t tell; he can barely make out her facial features through the tears. Everything has gone blurry; for all he knows, she’s not even looking at him anymore. Maybe she’s looking at the burnt pot on the stovetop or at the open window. Maybe she’s just waiting for the smoke to clear to go close the window; the early winter weather leaves a chill in Urbain’s bones.
“Lida, who’s tryin’ to burn the hotel down to ashes this time ‘round?”
Urbain’s hand rises on its own at the sound of Naveen’s voice.
“Accident.”
A surprised huff jumps out of the boy; Urbain can’t quite meet his eye, but he can catch his blurry movements, the way he grabs a hand towel and waves it around. He’s saying something else, something about how the smoke will cling to his fabrics if they don’t air out the place faster, but the words don’t quite cling to Urbain. He still can’t bring himself to lift his body out of his chair and help his friends. He can barely pay attention to the sound of coughing that seems to be growing closer. He can’t do anything other than squeeze his eyes shut at the feeling of warm hands catching the tears that pour from his burning eyes.
“Urbain? Hey, are you hurt?”
Gray eyes. Freckles. A worried expression. Urbain is starting to catch the details of his surrounds as he blinks far too much, trying to stop the tears that feel like they’re stabbing him. His vision is starting to sharpen; is he starting to calm down? He can feel the ground under his feet; why is he so cold all of a sudden?
Urbain squeezes his eyes shut once more as Harmony wipes away more of his tears. He feels pathetic, caught crying after having burnt their food. If everyone could just forever about this, forget that their leader is a massive loser, then that would be awesome! It would also be amazing if they would just stop fussing over him! He’s fine! He doesn’t need to be coddled!
“I’m fine!” Urbain clears his throat, hating how scratchy his voice sounds. “I’m completely fine. Just… got distracted and accidentally burnt dinner.”
It’s really cold. It’s so cold as Harmony pulls her hands away from his face. It’s freezing as she pushes herself back onto her feet, moving away from between Urbain’s knees. And the further she gets from him, her fingers now reaching out and curling around Naveen’s wrist, the hollower Urbain feels. Why did she have to go? Not that Urbain would ever ask this of her, but couldn’t she have stayed just a little longer? Just a moment more?
“We’ll go buy something for everyone, then!”
How can she smile so brightly? How can she be so cheerful when all Urbain’s been is selfish? She should be pissed at him, scolding him like AZ, raising her voice at him like Lida. She should be disappointed in him; she should hate him for having messed up again. Because all Urbain does is mess up when it comes to Harmony. He ruins everything. And yet, she’s still grinning as she tugs a less-than-impressed looking Naveen along. She’s beaming as Urbain tries to protest, tries to argue that there’s no need for her to go out of her way to get food, that he can just start over. Her eyes sparkle as she tilts her head ever so slightly, her smile perfectly directed at him from the doorway.
“Hey.” Her smile is blinding. “It’s our turn to take care of you.” She shifts her weight onto one foot, pulling Naveen out from between her and Urbain. “Please, Urbain,” something twists in Urbain’s chest as Harmony maintains the eye contact, “lemme do this for you.”
Urbain’s mouth opens, but not a sound comes out. He doesn’t have the words to argue; Harmony’s scrunching her nose at him, still smiling, before tugging Naveen along despite his grumbling and disappearing into the lobby.
She wants to do something for Urbain; she’s already done so much for him. She’s done so very much for him: she’s been his friend, his very best friend, and she dedicates so much of her time to him. She’s always done far more than Urbain could ever ask for, more than he deserves. Harmony is always the first to jump in to help him; she’s always by his side whenever there’s a rogue mega evolved Pokemon. She’s done so much for him already; why would she ever go out of her way to do more?
“Hey.” Lida leans against the counter, her voice pulling Urbain out of his spiraling thoughts. “Did you wanna… I don’t know, talk about it?”
“Not really.”
Lida doesn’t push. She just shrugs; she knows when not to push. She’s not always been the best at letting things go when people tell her no, but she also knows there’s a time and place to be pushy. She knows she needs to push Naveen out of his comfort zone to get him to connect with anyone or anything; she knows not to push Urbain when he begins to mope. When it comes to Urbain and his never-ending list of grievances, Lida becomes the best listener he’s ever encountered, the perfect shoulder to lean on. When it comes to times like these, Lida really is just such a wonderful friend. Maybe that’s why she’s one of the few people Urbain has opened up to regarding his mother; there’s something about her that has always relaxed Urbain, letting him talk about things he’s never shared without ever feeling judged.
“Wanna talk about Harmony then?”
Urbain furrows his brow and blinks at the girl. She just stares at him with a deadpan expression; she’s expecting him to blurt something out, say something stupid, make a fool out of himself. She’s expecting him to spill secrets that have pool at the bottom of his heart; Urbain is too tired to be dramatic about the situation.
“What about Harms?”
“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.” Lida shifts from leg to leg, her eyes never leaving Urbain’s face. “Do you wanna talk about her?”
Why would they talk about Harmony? What even is there to talk about? Sure, Urbain knows what happened between the two of them, or rather, what almost but did not happen, but Lida is unaware of all of these things. He’s never hinted to her that there could be something going on between him and Harmony; the only thing Lida might know about are the hugs since Harmony isn’t shy with those. But other than that, there’s no way for Lida to know about the times he and Harmony have spent walking around, hand in hand, or the two times Urbain almost kissed her, or the time he actually did kiss her on the forehead before essentially ghosting her, and everyone for that matter, for the last week. There’s nothing to talk about, and even if there was, Urbain doesn’t want to talk about it. There’s only one person who deserves to know about everything that’s been bubbling inside of him, and she isn’t here right now.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Lida.”
“Oh c’mon! Do you think I’m stupid?”
She’s making a face, one that very clearly displays her displeasure. If there’s someone out there that despises being treated like a fool, it’s definitely Lida. And Lida is anything but stupid. She’s the exact opposite of stupid, actually. She is one of the smartest people Urbain has ever met; he can always trust that she will be able to come up with a plan unlike any other. If he’s having to face any type of problem, she is his go-to. Lida is, after all, his closest confidant, the one who will hold onto his secrets, the one he can trust with all of his problems. She’s the only person he knows will find a solution to whatever issue has been weighing down on him, even when it feels hopeless. Lida is a problem solver by nature, someone who has always been there by Urbain’s side, but for this particular problem, Urbain isn’t sure there is a solution to find.
A deep sigh leaves Urbain’s lips as he presses his forehead to the table. It’s not that he wants to keep secrets from Lida; the very thought of voicing everything that’s been haunting him is daunting. It already took everything in him to admit it to himself; how is he supposed to admit to someone else that he might like Harmony in a way that goes beyond the platonic bond they’ve already established? Urbain barely had it in him to figure it out himself; he most certainly doesn’t have the words to verbalize everything that’s been buzzing inside of him for the past few weeks.
“Seriously,” Urbain slowly lifts his head to face Lida who has gotten closer to him, keeping her voice low as if she’s approaching a scared animal who may flee at any moment, “do you think I haven’t noticed the way you two look at each other? Or how you both sneak around like you’re about to get caught? Or how you both burst into uncontrollable laughter over some inside joke no one gets the moment your eyes lock?” She pinches the bridge of her nose, giving up her cautious approach and letting out a sigh of her own. “Literally, it’s fine that you guys are dating. You don’t have to hide it or whatever. Legit, neither Navi or I care. If anything, I’m actually really happy that you’ve found someone to match your freak!”
Dating? Urbain and Harmony? And matching his freak? No—
“What?”
“What, ‘what’?”
Lida and Urbain stare at one another. They stare, waiting for the other to crack and say what’s on their mind. And Urbain is not the one who will crack first. He won’t react, because he can’t have possibly heard that right. Lida cannot seriously be suggesting that she actually believes that Urbain and Harmony are thing. That’s absolutely absurd. He and Harmony are nothing more than—unless that’s why Lida wanted to talk about Harmony all of a sudden? Does she really believe that Urbain has been hiding this from her and she was just pushing him to reveal it to her?
“We’re not dating.”
More silence. Lida tilts her head and raises an eyebrow. Her face is going through the motions, seemingly trying to understand extremely basic words; she looks absolutely ridiculous like that, but then again, when does she not? It’s a blessing that she’s dedicated her life to dance and not to acting; Lida’s expressions aren’t always the prettiest, but they are always honest. And with that honesty comes a little side dish of comedy. Her faces are always so fun to witness, at least until they pointed at Urbain, confusion and despair pulling at her features. Is she really still trying to process the fact that he isn’t dating one of his best friends?
“Lida.” Urbain’s voice comes out firmer this time. “Harmony and I are not dating. We are genuinely just friends.”
“Right.” She laughs. Lida lets out this loud, uncontained belly laugh, something that might scare anyone who isn’t familiar with how loud her snorts can get. “Right! You’re ‘just friends’!” She actually puts air quotes around ‘just friends,’ as if it’s some kind of inside joke and not the truth. “Just two besties who are totally not hooking up or—”
“No, seriously.” This time, there’s a hint of anger coating Urbain’s words. Why won’t she believe him? “Lida, there is nothing going on between me and Harmony. We aren’t secretly dating behind your back or anything. Harms and I are actually, genuinely just friends.”
Understanding seems to dawn on Lida. Her face goes through the motions again; she seems to finally be realizing that Urbain really isn’t messing with her or keeping something from her. She seems to be coming to the conclusion that he is serious when he says there’s nothing between him and Harmony, though that isn’t the full truth either. He and Harmony aren’t a couple, so much is true, but there is still something there. There’s Urbain’s stupid heart that beats out of his chest every time Harmony walks into a room. There are the butterflies that erupt in the pit of his stomach every time anyone mentions her. There’s his inability to bite back his smile whenever his eyes fall on her because she just means so much to him. There is nothing going on between Harmony and Urbain, no secret relationship, no lying to their friends; there’s only Urbain’s feelings threatening to break out of their cage at all moments.
“Wait.” Lida pulls her eyebrows together and scrunches her nose as she pulls out a chair of her own, sitting across from Urbain. “Wait, that’s… That’s impossible! You two, you’re like…” Deep brown eyes pierce through Urbain. “Urbain, you’re like an inch away from more than just friends!”
Urbain rapidly blinks at the girl. No. He must have misheard that. There’s no way that Lida seriously just—
“Did you just—” Urbain shakes his head. No. He is not going to dwell on this. It would be stupid to fixate on that of all things. He had bigger things to worry about than Lida’s unfortunate choice of words. “Whatever. Never mind. Just… Lida, there is legit nothing going on between me and Harmony. We truly are just friends.”
“But do you want to be just friends?”
Another sigh. Lida is not stupid; the answer is obvious. It’s clear what the answer is, but if Urbain answers truthfully, then there won’t be any going back from it. If he tells Lida the truth, he won’t be able to pretend that he isn’t simply resigned to the way things are at the moment. If someone other than himself knows how he feels about Harmony, then he won’t be able to convince the world that he really does only see her as his best friend anymore. If he confesses to Lida the shameful truth, that he does in fact have a stupidly massive crush on Harmony, then that’s the end of everything Urbain has worked so hard to achieve.
“Okay, look.” Lida’s hand feels heavy against his arm; Urbain wants to shake her up, retreat back into his shell, but he remains immobile, leaving the hand right where it rests. “For sure, staying friends is safe, but doesn’t mean you should. And I know you didn’t ask, but here’s my advice: always ruin the friendship. Better that than regret it for all time.”
“Stop quoting pop songs at me, Lida!”
Laughter fills the air once more. Urbain rolls his eyes as he shoves the snorting girl away from him. Admittedly, he is failing miserably at biting back his smile and seeming annoyed at her, but that doesn’t mean Lida can claim her victory so easily. She doesn’t get to feel smug about being the one who managed to cheer Urbain up after a week of moping. She doesn’t get to know that this is what he needed to go from feeling like shit to feeling ever so slightly more alive. But there’s no denying that for the first time in a week, weak laughter bubbles out of him. For the first time in what feels like forever, he’s smiling.
“So…” Urbain shoves Lida’s hand away from him again, preventing her from repeatedly poking him in the arm as she continues to grin at him. “Are you gonna ruin the friendship? Maybe switch it up a little? Cause a bit of trouble up in hotel rooms?”
“Stop!” He’s laughing now, loud and uncontrolled. Urbain is choking on his laughter, having forgotten how to breath as he continuously shoves Lida away, Lida who won’t stop being cringe, quoting pop songs at him. “I’m not doing any of that! I’m just…” He catches his breath, both finally settling down. “I really do mean it when I say that I like having Harmony as one of my best friends. I really don’t want to that end.”
“‘Kay, but… what if…” Lida clicks her tongue before leaning closer, whispering her words like they’re national secrets she can’t keep in any longer. “You continue being besties but you’re also dating? The whole friends to lovers thing, y’ever thought of that?”
Urbain rolls his eyes as he pokes the girl’s cheek and pushes her away.
“You’re way too invested in this. Anway, it’s not like she even likes me like that.”
“But you like her, right?”
Urbain’s eyes fall to his feet, to his fiddling fingers, to anything other than Lida. Why do feelings have to be so horrendously embarrassing? He absolutely hates that his face is burning and that he can’t look Lida in the eye anymore. Urbain wants nothing more than to say no, to lie to her, shut the whole things down and pretend there’s nothing there, but he despises lying to his friends. He hates it every time he hides something from them, but most of the time, there’s no other option. More often than not, there’s so much going on that he can’t bring himself to be honest with them. So he evades the questions, the accusations, the conversations. He dodges everything. He steers the ship elsewhere. It’s what’s best; it’s what he’s always done. What if he doesn’t want to do that this time around?
“It… doesn’t matter whether she likes me or not.” It’s technically not a lie: it really doesn’t matter whether or not Harmony likes him because Urbain has no intention on acting on his ever-growing feelings. “All that matters is that we stay friends. I really like being friends with her.”
It’s Lida’s turn to sigh. She lets out this deep, overdramatic, theatrical sigh as she slumps her whole body against the back of her chair and lets her head hang back. She’s demonstrating just how annoyed she is with Urbain; he is not taking the bait. It’s not because Lida managed to get him to crack a smile that he will let her claim every victory so easily; he will not appease her by handing her his confession on a silver platter. Urbain will not be admitting that he does in fact have feelings for Harmony that go far beyond the limits of friendship; if Lida hasn’t yet put two and two together, frankly, that’s on her.
“Why do you have to be so damn stubborn all the time?” She shoots him a glare, though it has no effect on Urbain. “Why can’t you just admit that you like her? Like a normal person!”
“Because you like meddling in other people’s private lives! And if I admit to you that I like Harmony, you would make it your life’s mission to try and set us up and I do not, under any circumstances, want that!”
There! Urbain’s said it! Sort of. One thing is for certain: Urbain has spelled it out more than enough for Lida to get it. Now there’s no wondering where he stands; he regrets it ever so slightly, but not enough to try to back track. In reality, it is kind of freeing, having let out the words “I like Harmony.” Voicing his feelings has lifted a weight from his shoulders, even if he now wants to curl up in a corner and die because of the way Lida is staring at him.
Her face is going through the motions, scrunching her nose and squinting her eyes before breaking into a grin that slowly softens. She’s moving faster than Urbain has ever seen her piece things together; her emotions play like a movie, tugging on every feature of hers. She’s always been so easy to read; it’s one of the many things that Urbain adores about her. He also loves that, despite her hunger for gossip, her need to know everything, her pushiness at times, Lida knows when to let things go. She knows there is a time and place for information to be given to her; she can be patient at times, even if it takes everything in her to not pry. And Lida will most probably tease Urbain relentlessly as soon as everything settles down, but for now, she just smiles that knowing smile of hers as she stretches her arms and tilts her head back.
“I promise to not meddle. I won’t even say anything.”
“Thank you.”
“But you,” she straightens out and locks eyes with Urbain, “better give me all the tea.”
Another small smile tugs at the corners of Urbain’s mouth as he kicks Lida from under the table. Nothing hard, just enough to push her leg to the side, but that doesn’t stop her from acting overdramatic as always. She’s clutching her shin as she moans and groans about how much it all hurts, about how he has betrayed her in the worst possible way; one would think he had just scored a goal with her leg from how hard he had kicked her. Lida is whining and putting on a show, only stopping to grin once laughter begins to tumble out of Urbain. She only puts a stop to her performance once she’s got Urbain laughing, loud and bright, a wonderful sound that has always been present around the hotel up until about a week ago; he really had forgotten how to do that over the last few days.
“I’ll—” He chokes, still laughing. “I’ll be sure to,” another snort, “to tell you when nothing,” he’s wiping tears from the corners of his eyes, “when inevitably, nothing happens!”
“You better, Lover Boy! And you better—”
“Dinner’s here!”
Both Lida and Urbain find themselves turning to the sound of a girl crashing through the kitchen door, holding up a large paper bag. Naveen is right behind, holding a paper bag of his own, though he’s looking far less enthusiastic than Harmony. Really, he looks like he would rather be anywhere but here, but then again, what’s new? Naveen has never been a fan of noisy, unpredictable friends, and yet, he still spends most of his time at the hotel, home of his three notoriously loud, noisy, and unpredictable friends. So truly, he can’t hate it all that much.
“The Alolan noodle place Harmony wanted to go to was closed so we got—”
“Sandwiches!” Harmony grins as she holds her bag up again for all to see. “Didn’t know what you guys wanted so I ended up just ordering one of each. Figured we could share ‘em!”
Urbain stares in awe as she starts pulling out way too many perfectly wrapped sandwiches. There’s far too many of them, way more than necessary to feed four people, but no one dares stop her as she lists everything she’s gotten. And as she continues on to the sides she also picked up because she, once again, was indecisive and didn’t know what everyone would prefer, Urbain and Naveen exchange glances. They don’t need to voice it; Naveen just shrugs, a gesture Urbain easily understands to mean “Well I wasn’t going to stop her.” Naveen is never one to stop his friends’ impulsive choices, as long as they don’t hinder him or drag him into something he wants nothing to do with. So everyone just watches as Harmony sets down the last of the food onto the kitchen table, filling it entirely of different things that Urbain wouldn’t be able to name even if his life depended on it.
“Harms, how did you… afford all of this?”
She grins again, large and bright, as she folds up the second paper bag and sets it on the floor.
“Royale money.”
She says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. And sure, the Royale does pay a pretty penny, especially a trainer as talented as Harmony, but there has to be better things to spend that money on. She’s bought enough food to feed a small army; there will be enough leftovers for a week if Urbain portions everything correctly for everyone.
“And…” She leans her shoulder into Urbain’s, her bangs tickling his cheek as she sways, something that has Lida shooting Urbain a glance he doesn’t even want to begin deciphering the meaning of. “I know you like your curry and your croissants, but no one except you thinks of mixing the two, so…” Naveen is rolling his eyes as he grabs a sandwich for himself, unwrapping it and showing no intention of sharing it with anyone. “I got you a croissant on the side. Naveen was being insufferable the whole time we were waiting in line, but I couldn’t not get you one. Wouldn’t be right to leave you croissant-less, even if we aren’t having any curry tonight.”
Heat flares across Urbain’s face and ears as Harmony giggles. He needs it go away; his heart needs to calm down and stop threatening to break through his ribcage. There really is no reason for him to be flustered; why is Harmony looking at him like that, her own cheeks dusted with pink, her smile sheepish as she continues giggling? No, it has to be the remains of the winter cold outside. She and Naveen had been out for a hot minute, fetching food for everyone. It has to be that. It cannot be anything else. Urbain will not let himself wonder if there’s anything else hidden behind that downward glance.
“Anyway!” Lida’s voice booms through the room, causing Urbain to jump. “Who’s down to eat? ‘Cause I’m starved!”
Everyone nods; Harmony curses herself, realizing she probably should have unpacked everything on the meeting table rather than in the kitchen. She’s groaning, defeat staining her features, but quickly calms as Urbain places his hand on her shoulder, reassuring her that it’s not that big a deal and they have enough hands to grab everything to bring it out to the other room. Her whole face lights up as she nods and follows suit.
A content huff escapes Urbain as he takes in the massive meal they’ve laid across the wooden table. It took more than one trip between rooms, but no one complained; laughter had filled the air as all four members of Team MZ bumped into each other, grabbing things and handing them off to each other. AZ had also been invited to join the group, but the older man simply smiled at the bunch and retreated to his quarters, assuring them that he didn’t want to impede on the lively group; a neatly packaged sandwich and side salad had been left on the hotel counter for whenever he would come back out for his nightly walk.
The meeting table is bursting with food. Naveen is the first to jump in, already filling his plate with what he has claimed for himself; he doesn’t even wait for Urbain to finish butting the sandwiches into smaller, shareable portions. A smile tugs on the corners of Urbain’s mouth; he should have expected this. He should have known only Lida, Harmony, and himself would be sharing the more unusual things that have been brought back; why Urbain thought Naveen would broaden his horizons instead of sticking to the foods he knows he will like is beyond Urbain. It’s not like the youngest of the four has hidden the fact that he is the least adventurous when it comes to his dinner plate, not that it has ever bothered anyone. If anything, despite the teasing, Urbain is eternally grateful that he at least makes an effort to take a bite of the curry croissant that’s offered to him, even if Naveen does spend the whole time going on and on about how it’s an absolute abomination. Urbain is far too aware that it’s not easy for Naveen to try new things, especially when they’re as uncommon as Urbain’s wonderful signature dish that is excellent.
“Oh!” Urbain’s eyes drift off towards Lida who is repeatedly poking Harmony’s arm before returning to the food on the table, scooping a heaping of salad onto her plate. “Girlie, you mind if I sit next to Navi tonight? I was hoping to get some advice on these sketches on a costume I need made for my next performance.”
Harmony nods as she piles food onto her plate. She’s smile and glowing as she always does; how is it that she is always just so beautiful? She’s so wonderful; Urbain’s eyes fall back onto his plate as he begins pushing things around with his fork. She means everything to him; part of him still feels as if she shouldn’t be in the same space as Harmony, sharing the same air, tainting the atmosphere.
“Is it okay if I sit here?”
Urbain stares at the girl before nodding. He doesn’t trust his voice; what abomination will come out of his mouth if he dares say something to Harmony, Harmony who is leaning ever so slightly over him, her hand on the back of the chair right next to his? She doesn’t need to ask for permission; anything she wants, Urbain is willing to give it to her. For Harmony, he’d be ready to cross the ocean; instead, he just forces on a smile as she pulls out the chair to take a seat.
“I hope,” her smile is bright as she pulls her chair closer to him than strictly necessary, “there’s at least one thing in there that you like. Y’know, I asked if they had any curry sandwiches, but the guy at the counter looked at me like I was absolutely insane, and I figured you’re not a really picky eater, so…”
“Everything looks great, Harms. Thank you.”
He means it. Urbain really does mean it. He is more than grateful that Harmony has brought something back to eat. He’s so thankful; despite what he had said earlier, Urbain really didn’t have the energy to start cooking again. He didn’t have it in him to gather ingredients once more and prepare everything from scratch; he lets himself be taken by the motions, reaching out to grab whatever is in front to him.
It’s a decently classic and ordinary sandwich. A smile curls at the corners of Urbain’s mouth as he chews; there really is no way to go wrong with a nice savory BLT, and the added cheese really does make for a more filling experience. Everything is perfectly balanced. He should take notes on how everything tastes; maybe he should try adding cheese in the next curry he makes. He should—
Urbain’s eyes catch on Harmony, Harmony who has now stopped chewing and has put her sandwich back down onto her plate. Her eyes are watering, but she’s quickly wiping them away as she does her best to swallow her bite. She looks absolutely miserable, a complete 180 from her previously sunny disposition.
“Are you… okay?”
Crystal tears cling to her lashes as she forces on a smile. “I’m—” She gags as she swallows the last of her bite. “It’s fine! I’m fine!” She looks anything but fine as she once more quickly wipes the tears away. “I’m okay.”
“What’s wrong with the food?”
Harmony shakes her head, but she’s not exactly convincing. She genuinely looks horrified as she stares at her plate again; her fingers hover above her sandwich, hesitating, looking as if she were afraid that her food was going to bite her back. Something is clearly wrong; just as she’s about to pick up her sandwich back up, maybe give it another try, she lets her hand fall aside, a sign leaving her lips.
“I just…” Gray eyes meet Urbain’s. “I know it’s stupid, but I just… didn’t know they slathered this thing in mustard. It looked so stupidly good, but then they had to go ruin it with disgusting mustard, and I just hate—”
“Wanna trade?”
Harmony furrows her brow as Urbain pushes his plate towards her. She’s staring at what’s being presented to her, at the sandwich he’s also clearly taken a bite out of; he understands if she refuses, not wanting to eat after him, but he might as well offer it to her.
“There’s no mustard in this one.”
“But that’s yours?”
It’s strange how easy it is to smile around Harmony. Light laughter threatens to break from his lips as he leans closer to the girl. Everything just feels lighter around her; Urbain feels lighter as he pushes a strand of her bangs out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.
“And you don’t like mustard, and I don’t really mind it.” His fingers linger a little against a warm cheek. “And I really want you to enjoy your food. ‘Specially if you bought it.” His heart flips as Harmony presses her cheek against his hand; he needs to get a grip on himself as he slowly pulls his hand away and stuffs it between his thighs. “Really, I don’t mind taking yours. And if you want, I can finish both of them if you don’t want mine. There are other ones and—”
“No!” Harmony’s eyes have gone wide and wild. “No, that’s not it at all! I—” Her mouth snaps shut as her eyes are cast aside. “I don’t want you forcing yourself to eat my leftover just ‘cause I’m being picky.”
“I promise I wouldn’t be forcing myself to do anything. Really, I’m offering, not forcing. And I also don’t want you forcing yourself to eat something you don’t enjoy.” Harmony really does make it so easy to smile; what is wrong with Urbain as her eyes flicker back up, her smile mirroring his, small and shy? “So… did you wanna trade?”
“Can we? Please?”
Urbain nods as he holds out his plate to the girl. She’s grinning as she takes it, sliding her own plate in front of him. She’s smiling, beautiful and blinding. She’s everything to Urbain as she nudges her knee against his thigh, leaning in closer and dropping her voice down to a whisper.
“Thank you.”
She’s so close. Harmony is so, so close. Can she hear Urbain’s heart beating out of his chest? Can she feel the heat radiating off of his face? Can she tell how badly he wants to lean in just a little close to her and kiss that smile that hangs from her lips? Because he really wants to. He wants to know what a kiss feels like, what her pink shimmery lip gloss tastes like. He wants nothing more than to feel her smile against his own; he’s not stupid enough to let himself fall in that trap. No matter how badly Urbain wants to close the little distance between the two of them, he won’t do it; he pulls away from the girl, leaving her with nothing more than a mirrored smile and a nod for an answer.
The mustard sandwich sits in what is now his plate. Urbain stares at the bite that’s been taken from the corner. He stares at it for what feels like a lifetime; what is wrong with his now? Why is he just staring at the plate? Why is he overthinking this all of a sudden? He’d never had any issues eating after his friends before; he’s finished drink and snacks that Harmony has left behind or handed to him in the past. There is no reason for him to hesitating now. There’s no reason for him to be staring at the food on his plate, staring as if he’s expecting it to jump out at him. There’s no reason for his heartbeat to be spiking as it is. There’s no reason for his heart to feel like it’s sinking as his eyes meet Lida’s, Lida who is flashing a demonic his way.
“I—” The chair scrapes against the hardwood floor as Urbain rises to his feet. Everything is staring at him. Harmony is staring at him. “Sorry, I just… I just…” Is it hot in here? Why did it suddenly get so hot in here? “You guys enjoy your meal. Imma just… I…” Urbain needs to get out of here. He needs to leave. Now. “I just realized I forgot to finish up a thing, so I’m just gonna go eat in my room. Just… Just leave your dishes in the sink. I’ll get to them later tonight.”
No one has time to answer; Urbain has already made his way out of the dining room, plate in hand. No one got to protest, but he did notice the looks they were all sending his way. Naveen was squinting at him as if trying to figure out what could possibly be going through his head as Urbain shoved his chair against the table with a little too much force. Lida was pulling her eyebrows together, her grin vanishing as a plate was being grabbed from the table. And Harmony. Her mouth fell open before being snapped shut. Her whole face had shifted, going from carefree to something heavier. Everything about her had shifted, but Urbain’s legs were carrying him out of the room before his brain could even catch up.
The metal plating of the elevator walls is freezing as Urbain slumps back. Why is he running? Why is his heart racing again? Why is he like this? Why can’t he ever calm down? Because he needs to calm down. He needs to get a grip on himself. He needs to stop running from everything good in his life. Or maybe, he should keep running. Maybe he should run before he ruins something beautiful once more. Maybe, just maybe, he should run as far away from the things he doesn’t want to lose but will ultimately ruin forever.
Three knocks on the door echo through Urbain’s room.
“Gimme a second!”
Urbain is trying his very best to sound cheerful, but the exhaustion of the day is finally weighing down on him. No, the exhaustion of the week. His emotions have been completely out of wack, and despite his trudging through life without many reactions, he’s been wired all week, on edge at every moment; he can barely stand on his two feet without swaying ever so slightly anymore. Truly, Urbain wants nothing more than to curl up under his sheet and let his head be swallowed by his pillow. He wants nothing more than to sleep the numbing exhaustion away, to make everything stop for just a moment, but he knows the world will keep spinning whether he keeps up or not.
Another knock reverberates against his walls.
“I said I’m coming!”
He mutters curses under his breath as he pulls his shirt over his damp hair and drags his heavy body to the door. For once, he’d have liked to be left alone. Just for tonight, he doesn’t want to talk to anyone. Just for the night, Urbain wants to cease existing for others.
His eyes catch on the plate he had set on his desk as he crosses the room, an untouched sandwich and wilting lettuce still laying there; he had gone straight for a shower, hoping the running water would fix whatever was broken inside of him. He definitely feels a little better, his heart not pounding out of his chest anymore, but the exhaustion is still there. That’s still weighing down on him. Maybe it will weight down on him for the rest of his life.
One last curt knock is cut short by Urbain swinging the door open as he returns to the present.
“Wha—”
Everything melts away. Urbain’s annoyance, his exhaustion, it all melts away, only to be replaced by a worried hollowness deep within his chest. There stands Harmony, Harmony who normally stands so tall. There stands Harmony, Harmony who seems so small in his doorway. She’s standing there, her fist still raised but slowly lowered to her side. She’s standing there, her hair loosely falling over her shoulders, framing her face that seems to have been scrubbed clean of the little makeup she applies every morning. She’s there, standing in front of Urbain, looking radiant as ever as his eyes climb the constellations that adorn her face; why does she hide those away? Why does she conceal the freckles that climb all the way to the corners of her eyes?
“Sorry, I… I hope I’m not bothering you or—”
“No.” Urbain shakes his head as he takes a step aside to clear the entrance. “No, you’re chill. D’you… wanna come in?”
Harmony nods as she takes a careful step into the room. She carefully turns her body away from Urbain, moving in a way to avoid any physical contact she might have with him in the narrow hall; it’s more than a little strange to be dodged like that when Urbain is so used to having her in his arms. It’s strange being avoided in such a way, but nowhere near as stupid as the very thought crossing his mind; it’s not like there’s anything going on between the two of them and Harmony doesn’t owe him any type of physical contact. If anything, shouldn’t he be relieved that she’s not jumping into his arms, finally giving his heart a break?
“So…” The door quietly shuts behind Urbain as he turns to the girl who has made her way to the middle of his room. “Was there… something I can help you with?”
Gray eyes. Freckles. A worried expression. Urbain is trying to make out the meaning behind those sad eyes, but nothing comes to mind. He’s desperately trying to understand what’s happening as Harmony lets her gaze bounce around the room without ever falling on him. It’s almost as if she’s afraid to look him in the eye. She looks scared, at least until their gazes meet; now, she just looks upset.
“Did I do something to upset you?”
Urbain blinks at her a few times. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out. Why would he be upset? And at her of all people? Why would Harmony ever think that she did anything to upset him? Sure, he knows he’s been acting off-kilter all week, but it’s not been that bad. Or pointed. Has he really been worrying Harmony all this time without realizing it?
“If…” Her nails dig into the skin of her forearm, a red mark starting to form, her skin threatening to break under the pressure, and Urbain wants nothing more than to take her hand in his and stop her from potentially hurting herself; he remains perfectly still, his eyes falling to his feet. “If this is about the hugs, or if it’s just that I’m too much for you, please, please just tell me. I promise I can stop, and I’m really sorry if I’m just too much and I know I’m not—”
He’s acting insane. He’s acting rashly. Maybe it’s a mistake. He really should be thinking things through before acting on all these feelings festering inside of him. Maybe if he had voiced what’s been buzzing in his brain for the last forever, maybe if he stopped bottling everything up until the ugly truth exploded, then maybe he wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe Harmony is finally sick of him. Maybe she will shove him away; she remains perfectly still as Urbain crashes against her, his arms wrapping around her neck.
“You’re not too much, Harmony. You’ve never been too much. Never, ever say you’re too much.”
“Then,” tentatively, she returns the hug, “why have you been avoiding me all week?”
Urbain wants to reassure her that he hasn’t been avoiding her, at least not her specifically, nor has it really been on purpose. He’s just been avoiding everyone and everything. He’s just been focusing on getting job after job done because the more he works himself to exhaustion, the less likely he is to think about her. If he’s working himself to the brink of exhaustion every day, then he doesn’t have the energy to let his mind run wild. And if he’s completely numb inside, if he’s devoid of all human interactions, then he doesn’t need to let the feelings break out of his dam.
“I’m sorry.” Urbain’s arms tighten around Harmony’s neck; he hopes he’s not choking her as he chokes back tears. “Harms, I’m so, so sorry. I’m… I’m sorry for making you think that you’re too much or that I’ve been avoiding you.” He can’t let her know that he’s nothing more than a pathetic loser who can’t stop himself from crying; he buries his face against his own arm, hoping the loose sleeve of his shirt will catch the tears that pour before they find their way onto Harmony. “I’m sorry for letting you believe you upset me. I’m sorry for upsetting you instead. I’m sorry for being a bad friend. I’m just… You’re… I…”
Something breaks in Urbain as Harmony tightens her grip on him. Her nails are digging into his back as she fists his t-shirt. She’s clinging onto him just as much as he is onto her. She’s pressing close, burying her face in the dip of Urbain’s collarbone. She’s staying right there when she could so easily shove him away.
“You’re my best friend.” A little more force and she might actually rip through his shirt with her fingers. “My favorite person in the whole wide world. Urbain, I…” Her grip loosens suddenly and a chill fills Urbain; she’s holding him at arm’s length, creating just enough distance between the two to hold eye contact with him. “I really thought I’d ruined everything.”
Ruined everything? If anyone is ruining anything, it’s definitely Urbain with his stupid, uncontained feelings. He’s the one who’s been toeing the line. The’s the one standing on the edge. He’s the one pushing every limit he’s ever known. Harmony hasn’t done anything wrong; she is the last person to have ever ruined anything.
“Why…” Urbain quickly clears his throat, forcing his voice back to it’s typical octave instead of that raw and broken sound that came out. “Why would you have ruined anything? You really… Harms, why would you think that?”
She shakes her head but a sliver of a smile still hangs on those pretty lips of hers. She’s pulled away completely now, leaving Urbain cold and wanting more but being unable to ask for that. It’s not like he can ask for another hug, ask her if they can just stay like that forever. He can’t ask anything of her; he’s already done more than enough to make things weird and tense between them. He has to respect Harmony’s space; he lets her take the lead on how things will go from now on.
“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I’m just happy to know that I didn’t do anything that was bothering you or making you upset, and that you don’t hate me or anything.”
There’s a beat of silence, as if she’s waiting for him to confirm that he does not, in fact, hate her; Urbain is jumping in, frantically assuring her that he absolutely does not hate her. And his agitation seems to amuse the girl; her smile is bright, brighter than any star in the sky, so bright that it leaves Urbain’s heart fluttering in his chest as he quiets down, shame and abashment heating his cheeks.
“I just… Don’t wanna lose you.”
There’s a finality to her tone, as if she’s relieved that she won’t be losing him but had resigned herself to the possibility, which is insane. She could never lose Urbain. No matter what Harmony does, Urbain will always be by her side. As long as she wants him there, no matter what happens, he knows he will be there with her. No matter what, he knows that Harmony is far too precious to him for him to ever walk away. As long as she makes room for him by her side, Urbain will be there; she truly does mean everything to him.
“You—”
“I don’t want to lose you, Urbain.”
She’s repeating herself. The same words leave her lips as she steps closer to him. The exact same words fill the air as she slips her fingers through his, something she’s done countless times before but that still send Urbain’s heart into a flutter. She’s lacing her fingers with his, staring at the floor, but the same words come out of her mouth once more. She does not want to lose him.
“I don’t want to lose you, but I’m gonna ruin everything anyway.”
Her grip tightens around Urbain’s hand; her free hand brushes against his cheek. His heart is pounding in his ears as his gaze meets Harmony. Nausea hits him as she tilts her head ever so slightly to the side, her eyes never leaving his.
“Tell me to stop.”
Everything comes crashing down. Everything is beating out of control. Harmony has pushed herself up onto her tiptoes, both her hands holding onto Urbain’s face as she presses her lips to his. This is everything he’s ever wanted. This is everything he’s dreamed up. This is not how things were supposed to happen. He’s not supposed to be nauseous and stiff. Why can’t he move?
The room is stuff and suffocating. Urbain is freezing as Harmony pulls back, letting her hands fall away from his face.
“I’m sorry! I thought—”
“I didn’t tell you to stop.”
She kissed him. Harmony kissed him. Harmony has given him his first kiss, something he’s been dreaming of for far too long, and he didn’t kiss her back. He—
His brain is short-circuiting. Urbain should be gentler, less forceful, but nothing in his brain is making sense. Sirens are going off as he pulls her back in, holding her face in his hands. Alarm bells are blaring as their noses brush together. Everything inside of him is screaming to stop, to take is slow, to take a break. This is supposed to be nice; Urbain reeks of desperation.
“Please don’t stop.”
They meet hallway this time. Urbain doesn’t know what he’s doing; he’s letting Harmony take the lead. He follows her orders to a tee, parting his lips as she instructs him. He’s chasing her mouth as she pulls away to catch her breath; he chases her as she takes a few steps backwards, her fingers curling around the collar of his shirt.
Urbain has no idea what he’s doing; all he knows is that he doesn’t want it to stop. He’s never been in this position before; as long as Harmony is there, he’s ready to go to the ends of the world for her. He’s following Harmony’s body; he’s taking the plunge as she lets her body fall into his mattress, dragging him along.
She looks ethereal, sunken into his mattress. She’s breathtaking; Urbain has a hard time catching his breath between each rushed kiss. He’s never felt this light; every bone in his body feels heavy, like gravity is pulling him down toward the center of the planet. He should probably stop, take a breath, slow down, but every time he pulls away, the pounding in his chest starts again. He knows he shouldn’t; those kiss-swollen, glistening lips keep him close. Every kiss draws him in; Harmony’s arms around his neck drag him back down as the warmth of a tongue touches the seam of Urbain’s parted lips.
His heart flips in his chest as Harmony hums against his lips. Her hands have their way to the middle of his back, nails dragging along the fabric of his t-shirt as Urbain clenches his fist around a handful of his duvet. It’s getting harder and harder to not let his body crash down onto Harmony; all of his weight is held up by his forearm and knee, both pressed deep into his mattress.
He should probably reposition himself, find a way to not feel like he’s about to crack under his own weight, but every time he pulls away, ready to find a new position, he’s leaning back in just as quickly, stealing more of Harmony’s kisses. Every time he’s on the cusp of making a rational decision, he’s acting stupid again. All he wants to know is Harmony; he’s back to letting her take the lead.
“You don’t have to stop.”
Heat floods Urbain’s face. Harmony’s voice is low and alluring, her tone a siren song in itself. His fingers are pressed back into her skin as he quickly tried to make an escape; he hadn’t meant anything from it, his hand instinctively reaching for her thigh in an attempt to push her up towards the center of the bed. There had been no intentions other than to get more comfortable; pretty sounds Urbain has never heard before left those parted lips he has now kisses enough times to have lost count as Harmony pulled her knee up. A warm hand finds more warm skin; Urbain is panicking as he presses clumsy kisses along Harmony’s jaw.
He shouldn’t; he can’t. He finds his way to her neck. His fingers make their way away from her thigh. She wants him there; his hand rests against her soft cheek.
“You’re beautiful, you know that?”
Rushed, clumsy kisses are replaced with something slow and deliberate. Urbain is buckling under his weight as Harmony pulls him close once more. She’s smiling into the kisses; he can’t help but mirror the expression. How is he to not smile when Harmony is right there, grinning against him? She’s just so beautiful, gorgeous, breathtaking; one last kiss is laid upon Urbain’s lips before pressing his forehead to Harmony’s.
“No one’s ever called me beautiful before.”
“Then everyone’s been a coward.”
Urbain’s body has finally given in; he flops down next to Harmony, his back melting into his thick duvet. It barely registers in his mind that Harmony is slipping her fingers through his again and holding his hand against her chest; he’s more preoccupied by his arms wrapping around her shoulders as he pulls her into a hug once more. It’s starting to sink in that he’s just had his first kiss as he presses one to the top of the girl’s head. Well, he had more than just a first kiss. He’s—
“I’ve been waiting for this since the night I caught Absol, you know.”
Urbain’s arms tighten around Harmony. She’s been waiting for this for that long? More impressively, she’s been able to function normally all this time? It’s actually not that surprising; Harmony has always been more put together than Urbain is. She’s just better than him at everything. She’s a better trainer, a better friend, a better person, a better kisser—Urbain shakes the thoughts burning twister of thoughts away. No. He’s not going to ruin this. He’s not going to talk himself out of this situation.
“Me too.”
Harmony shifts; Urbain’s hold on her loosens. His heart pounds in his chest as he finds those beautiful gray eyes, eyes he can fall for any day of the week. Another gentle kiss is shared; Urbain can get used to this.
“Then,” Harmony bumps her nose against his, grinning once more, “why didn’t you say anything? Do anything?”
“I was scared?”
Giggles fill the little space between the pair. How is it that Harmony just gets more beautiful with each passing moment? She’s giggling and snorting as Urbain tries to explain himself, explain that he had no idea if she felt the same way about him. She’s laughing so hard, wheezing out that she was being so obvious, or at least obvious enough that even Naveen had asked her about it. Tears cling to her lashes as she finally starts to settle down; she’s catching her breath as she lays her head back down on Urbain’s chest.
“Part of me was terrified that you didn’t feel the same, y’know? That’s why I thought I was gonna ruin everything tonight, ‘cause I don’t think there’d be much friendship left if I kissed you and turned out you found me gross.”
“You could never be gross to me, Harms. And no matter what happens, you’ll always be my best friend.”
She hums as Urbain runs his fingers through her hair. He watches as her silky hair slips through them, falling back onto his bed. Neither one says much anymore; the silence is comfortable as they remain in their little bubble of whatever this is. They stay there, basking in calm atmosphere; they stay there, not daring to move away from one another.
Exhaustion is finally catching up; the adrenaline has died down, leaving Urbain even more exhausted than before. A yawn slips out of him, a sound he tries to hide away, but it’s too late. Harmony is slipping out from under his arm that was resting lazily around her waist; she’s straightening out her clothes and hair, making herself look presentable again, not that she ever looks anything less than presentable at all times to Urbain.
“I should probably head back to my room. Can’t have anyone get suspicious about what’s going on in here, y’know?”
She says it so casually, still smiling. She’s erased any trace of the last few moments; she looks exactly the same as she did the moment she had walked into Urbain’s room, minus the worried expression. Really, from the looks of it, the only thing that seems to have changed is her mood, and even that’s only a subtle change. Really, other than the smile that now adorns her lips, she looks the exact same; does Urbain also look the same?
“Yeah!” He’s pushing himself off of his bed; it would be embarrassing to fall asleep right then and there. “Right, yeah. Lemme—” He’s not quite steady on his feet, but he’s pushing through the exhaustion. “Lemme at least walk you to the door.”
More giggles. That’s another thing that has changed: Harmony is giggling a lot more than she was before. She’s giggling as she reminds him that the door is a whooping ten steps away from the bed. She’s giggling until they reach the door, hands brushing together; this time, she doesn’t move her body to avoid touching him. This time, she reaches out to him, pulling him in for one last kiss.
“Don’t make yourself a stranger, okay?”
Urbain nods as Harmony pulls the door open. She flashes him one last smile before pulling the door closed behind her, leaving him all alone in his room. That smile is the last thing he sees that night. That smile and those lips are the only thing he dreams of that night.
She should probably stop him. She probably should not let Urbain touch another glass, but he’s smiling so big and his cheeks are flushed this pretty pink color. She really should stop him, but Lida is mixing another drink, and who is Harmony to stop her friends from having fun? Because they are having fun; they’re laughing and sharing stories and being stupid. They’re having the time of their lives; Harmony doesn’t want to be the reason it all has to come to an end.
“No, I’m tellin’ you, t’was wild bein’ up there! Like, I didn’t even know if I was gonna survive the whole thing! Yeah, sure, I knew Floette was there to keep me safe, and I knew you guys weren’t gonna give up on me, but man…” Urbain sways a little as he giggles into his glass; Harmony really should take it away from him. “T’was rough. Kinda terrifyin’.”
His glass clinks against the table as he finally sets it down. It’s half-empty, the murky contents crashing against the polished glass. It looks like a storm in there, not that Harmony’s eyes linger much on what’s on the table; her gaze is drawn to the boy who is leaning his head against her shoulder, his weight pushing into her side. Her eyes are drawn to the deep blue of his; her cheeks feel warm as he smiles at her, though Harmony cannot tell if it’s because of the alcohol or because of something else.
“But anyway…” More pretty laughter; more skin set aflame. “I don’t wanna talk about that anymore…”
“Did you… wanna talk about something else?”
“Oh!” Harmony jumps at the sound of Lida’s voice booming through the still air of the night. “Navi! Navi! Wanna help me out with this new routine I’m working on?”
A groan reverberates through the night; Naveen is the only one who hasn’t been drinking. He’s always been a lot more responsible than the rest of Team MZ, or maybe it’s just that he doesn’t like the taste of alcohol, or the looseness that comes with the fading filters. He’s always been so on top of everything; he is vehemently refusing to leave his chair as Lida tugs on his arm, begging him to be her dance partner.
“Ask Starmie to help you! I’m not doing your stupid dance!”
“But Navi!” She elongates the final syllable of the nickname, causing Harmony to giggle at the pair. “It’s only gonna be fun if it’s you!”
“You’re insane.”
“And you’re no fun!” Lida leans closer to the boy, grinning maniacally. “But I can make you have fun!” She leans back, pulling on Naveen’s arm with all of the force she’s got in her uncharacteristically uncoordinated body. “C’mon, Navi!”
It’s a game of tug-of-war: Lida is tugging on Naveen’s arm as he grips the armrest of his chair. Something is going to break, but Harmony is too busy being giggly to really think of the consequences of everyone’s actions. Right now, all she can think about is how much she adores her friends.
“Hey, Harms?”
The girl hums as she continues watching her friends bicker over some routine Lida is going to nail despite being drunk out of her mind. Harmony’s not as present and attentive as she normally is; she kind of feels like she’s floating down a river, bobbing alongside wild creatures she doesn’t know the names of. Everything is a little hazy, including Urbain’s voice.
“You know… As soon as I can, I will marry you.”
She’s drowning. Harmony’s heart has stop and now she’s sinking to the bottom of the river. She’s staring at Urbain, Urbain with his big blue eyes, Urbain who has had her heart in shambles since the day they met, Urbain who knows nothing of how she feels. Unless he does? Is he teasing her? Making fun of her? No, he’s not that type of guy. He wouldn’t make a complete fool out of Harmony if he knew how she felt about him, right? Urbain is sweet, not cruel.
“I’m going to marry you so hard and—”
Just as quickly as the words leave his mouth, he’s pushing himself up and lurching over the armrest of the couch before puking out whatever little is in his stomach. Sobriety washes over Harmony as panic overwhelms her; she’s usually the one pushing herself to her limits until it all comes out, burning her throat and dignity. Her hand hesitates over his shoulder blade as she calls his name, worry coating every syllable.
“Hey…” Her hand finally settles on his arm, warm skin meeting one another. “Hey, take it easy…” Harmony refuses to let him sit back up, afraid of what might happen if he moves too quickly. “Did you eat today?”
“Yeah…?”
Yeah, that’s not very convincing.
“A reheated croissant for breakfast doesn’t count as having eating something, Urbain.”
The boy groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. He’s a smart boy; he knows that he’s a light-weight, and that alcohol on an empty stomach is a dangerous game to play. He is, after all, the one who is usually telling Harmony to make sure she’s eating if she’s going to be getting drunk on the roof with Lida. He’s the one who is normally bringing snacks up for them to munch on and reminding them an obnoxious number of times that they need to also be drinking water. And yet here he is, drinking on an empty stomach.
“Hey, Urbain?”
Heat flares throughout Harmony’s face as Urbain lets his head drop onto her shoulder. His whole weight is once again pressed against her side, except this time, he’s not talking. His breathing is shallow and his eyes have fallen shut; maybe Harmony shouldn’t but she’s never been one to make the best decisions. She’s always been a mess when it comes to Urbain; soft hair slips right through her fingers as she nudges him again.
“Hey, Urbain? You still awake?”
He makes a sound, though Harmony isn’t sure if just him acknowledging that she’s talking to him or if he actually is awake. He doesn’t seem very awake, but then again, it might just be that he’s drunk out of his mind. Or that he feels like absolute shit because of all the alcohol that’s in his system. Because it would be impossible to sleep through the chaos that is Lida and Naveen; she’s somehow managed to pull him out from his chair and is swinging his arms around haphazardly, though Naveen is otherwise standing stoically still. And Harmony would adore joining the pair, but she’s a little stuck on the couch, Urbain suddenly snuggling closer to her.
“Hey…” He stirs as Harmony whispers low and slow, right by the shell of his ear. “How about we get you cleaned up and in bed?”
“Don’t wanna…”
“I promise you’ll thank me in the morning if we do.”
“But I don’t wanna go…”
It’s stupid. She’s stupid. Harmony is going to regret all of this in the morning. But maybe she’s also hazy from the alcohol. Maybe her guard is down too. Maybe her brain is completely shut off as she pushes a strand of hair out of Urbain’s face, revealing those gorgeous blue eyes of his. Maybe her brain has melted as she slips her fingers through his before giving his hand a squeeze.
“Please, Urbain? We can go together if you’d like?”
He blinks at her; his eyelids seem heavy, like he’s fighting to keep sleep at bay. He doesn’t seem keen on getting up, but as Harmony squeezes his hand again and begins pushing herself out from under him, he gives way. Urbain is staring at her as she stands before him, their hands still linked; he’s staring at her, his face flushed as she smiles at him.
“Well? Thoughts on calling it a night?”
There’s no resistance as Harmony pulls him off the couch. It would be cocky of her to say that he’s moving like he’s entranced by her, but he does follow her like a moth to a flame. He follows her, stumbling as Harmony throws her free hand up, waving good night to Lida and Naveen who have somehow ended up on the floor by the fire pit; thankfully, Naveen is keeping Lida away from the actual fire he’s started.
“I’ll be back later!”
Lida waves, an exaggerated movement that sways her body from side to side. Naveen, meanwhile, barely spares the girl a glance; he’s busy babysitting his drunken friend who is known for coming up with the worst ideas when her brain is a pile of mush in her skull.
“Don’t trip and fall and die because I’m not calling an ambulance.”
“Love you too, Navi!”
Harmony giggles as she tugs Urbain along with her. He gives his friends a little wave as well, a little gesture that seems more confused than confident; it’s almost as if he’s replicating what he’s seeing without knowing why he’s doing it. And he’s adorable as he waves before stumbling back into Harmony, her hand still in his. He’s way too cute as she presses his cheek to the cold metal of the hotel elevator, waiting for it to reach the second floor.
“How you feeling?”
“Like shit.”
That still checks out. It’s never fun after having puked out a stomach full of nothing but poorly mixed drinks. And given that it’s Urbain’s first time, it’s by far the worst time. The boy who always nurses at most one drink all night was downing them like they were tall glasses of fresh water. And the more he’d get into his system, the more he would talk. And while he’s always been very skilled at sharing stories, they’re almost never about him and how he feels about things; with so much alcohol in his system, he was spilling stories from his childhood to how utterly lost and useless he felt up in that tower of doom.
“We’re almost there.”
It’s honestly great that they drink up on the roof and not out at some bar. At least this way, they’re ridiculously close to home; getting to bed is easy-peasy! It’s a simple elevator ride away! And as Harmony tugs Urbain forward, enticing him to his room, she grows more and more grateful for how close everything is; she can’t even imagine what a mess this would have been had she had to drag him around the city.
The door of room 201 clicks open; they all stopped locking their doors after the first few weeks of living together. Urbain had been the most secretive of the bunch when it came to his room, but even he has given up on turning the key, especially when they’re all just going to the roof. And that is another thing Harmony is grateful for; thankfully, she doesn’t have to search his pocket for a key to get him to bed. Or even worse: settle him in her bed. She can just usher him into his room and sweettalk him into cleaning up a bit before crashing for the night.
“You’ll feel a whole lot better after you’ve cleaned your face and brushed your teeth. Maybe take a shower too?” Urbain doesn’t say anything; his movement seem mechanical as he makes his way to the center of the little room. “Well, regardless of what you do, at least go brush your teeth. And I’ll get you some water while you—”
A wildfire is set aflame under Harmony’s skin. The corners of her eyes burn as she dops her gaze to her feet; has Urbain forgotten that she’s there? Or does he just not care as he pulls his shirt over his head? Does Harmony’s presence mean nothing to him? Maybe everything he’s said tonight really did mean nothing to him; maybe Urbain can pull off his shirt and toss it into his dirty hamper because he only sees Harmony as a friend. Because she would never have the guts to do that around him; she’d be way too self-conscious about the whole ordeal!
“I’ll—” Harmony clears her throat, her voice having come out far too pitchy for her liking. “I’ll be back in a bit with some water, okay? So, take your time!”
Did she come off as stupid? She practically ran out of the room; Urbain didn’t even get a chance to respond, not that he’s exactly the most responsive at the moment. Wait, should she leave him alone? What if he’s sick again and chokes and dies? It would be all Harmony’s fault because she didn’t stop him earlier and now she’s left him all alone. Maybe she should head back in the room and make sure he lives; Urbain is capable of surviving a few minutes alone, right? She doesn’t have to baby him, right?
Harmony barely last 10 minutes. She tries to take her time in the kitchen, filling a water bottle and thoroughly searching for something to snack on, but her mind just keeps wandering back to what’s right above her head: Urbain. She’s not one to normally blush, but every time she catches herself drifting back to that moment, to those eyes, to that smile, Harmony can’t help the heat in her cheeks. She hates how often she goes back to him; she hates how desperately she wants to be close to him.
“Get a grip on yourself!” Her fingers tighten around the water bottle and bag of cookies she’s found in the pantry as she waits for the elevator. “He’s just a friend. Nothing more. He doesn’t think of you like that, you freak.”
Honestly, it’s the fact that she’s talking to herself in the middle of the night that makes her more of a freak than having a crush no her best friend. Harmony knows herself to easily fall in love; how many people before Urbain has she claimed to love only to have confused one feeling for another? How many friendships has she abandoned because of that confusion? Too many. She’s ruined too many good friendships for her to do it again with Urbain. She cannot ruin what she has with him just because it might be love. So she’s going to be his friend. She’s going to be the best friend she can be and nothing more.
“Urbain?”
Perhaps she should have knocked. This isn’t her room, after all. And yet, here she is, pushing the door open and calling out to the boy she cannot stop drifting back to. And as her eyes settle on him, she can’t help but smile at him; his hair is damp, droplets of water soaking through the collar of his old faded pyjama shirt. He seems a little more alert than before; his eyes fall onto Harmony as he mirrors her smile. He doesn’t seem as hazy as before his shower.
“I got you water and a snack if you want?”
She isn’t sure why she’s holding both things up to him; it’s not like Urbain can’t seem them in her hands when she’s holding them at her side. And yet, that little movement is enough to pull delicate laughter from Urbain; the room seems brighter as he smiles and pats the spot right net to him on the bed. Everything seems warmer and homelier as Harmony lets her body sink into the mattress and hands him the bag and bottle.
“Thanks.”
“I just filled a bottle with tap water. And grabbed a bag of cookies I think Lida forgot about.”
“I mean for earlier.” Urbain is so close that Harmony can smell the light floral scent of his soap on his skin. “For everything you’ve done.”
“It’s really the least I could do…”
Harmony is not one to normally feel so self-conscious. She’s normally so good at seeming cool in situations where she is anything but cool. But here, with Urbain’s head on her shoulder, Harmony can feel her heart pounding in her chest. She wonders if he can hear it too. Or if he can feel her quickening pulse as he takes her hand in his. How much of her secrets does this boy know?
“Harms? Did you know that you’re so pretty that sometimes, I wonder if I’m dreaming? Like, what if you’re not actually real? And I’m just dreaming of this pretty girl who is my absolute best friend in the whole wide world. But then…” Harmony needs to calm her heart; how can she do that as Urbain presses his lips to her knuckles? “You’re always there. And everyone else can see you. So you must be real.”
“Urbain…”
Her knows her secrets; he’s spilling his own. Harmony never would have expected him to lose all of his filters to a bit of alcohol; she had expected the shower to sober him up, and yet, here he is, telling her things he never would be telling her if he were sober. Urbain has always had his guards up so high; a couple of drinks in his system and suddenly, it seems like every wall he’s built has crumbled. Words are tumbling out of his mouth faster than Harmony can keep up with. He’s saying things she isn’t sure she can trust.
“And you know,” his voice has dropped down to a whisper, “that day we met,” his breath is warm against the back of Harmony’s ear, “when I first saw you,” her heart feels like it’s going to explode in her chest, “I just… Man, I just told myself ‘That’s the girl I’m gonna marry.’ Harms—” Why is he saying all of this now? Why is he saying all of this when she cannot trust him? “I swear, I’m gonna marry you. So damn hard.”
“Urbain.” This isn’t the time for this conversation. Harmony has to pull away, no matter how badly she wants him to keep saying everything she’s ever dreamed of. “You’re drunk. And talking nonsense.”
“No, I’m serious. Harmony,” his hands are so warm against her cheeks; his eyes are like sapphires, a color she cannot look away from, “I’m being so serious right now. You drive me completely insane. Crazy. Because you’re so pretty. And I’m so stupid for you all the time.”
It hurts Harmony’s heart to shake him off of her. It’s painful to back away from him, especially since she’s longed to hear these very words for so long. But she can’t take it much longer. She can’t let him keep saying things he won’t feel in the morning. She can’t let her heart shatter anymore. Urbain is sweet, not cruel; she can’t let herself fall for pretty little lies.
“If you’re that serious, then how about you tell me everything you’ve just said in the morning? When you’ll be sobered up and not talking nonsense?”
“I’m telling you, it’s not nonsense! I’m so serious right now!”
“Then tell me when you’ll be seriously sober.” It’s her turn to grab his face in her hands. “Tell me that you love me when you’re sober. And then I’ll give you my answer. But only once you’ve slept this off. That is,” her hands fall from his face, making their way back to her lap, “is you remember any of this in the morning. Tell me again tomorrow if you remember this conversation, alright?”
Big blue eyes follow her as she gets up from the bed; fingers tighten around her wrist, holding her in place. Urbain doesn’t need to speak; he’s pleading her to not leave. Harmony cannot stay; her heart cannot take it any longer. She cannot keep falling for those eyes; she can’t keep letting her heart be filled with false promises.
“Please, Harms. Stay.”
“You’ll be fine, I promise.”
“Don’t go. Please.”
She’s weak. She’s so stupidly weak as a sigh breaks from her lips. She’s stupid for nodding at him and letting the mattress cave under her weight again. She really should leave, go back to the roof or go to her room, but instead, she’s threading her fingers through Urbain’s hair again, falling for those pretty blue eyes for the thousandth time tonight.
“Fine. But promise me you’ll sleep. Otherwise, you’re going to feel even shittier in the morning.”
Urbain doesn’t argue; he lets himself fall back into his mattress, his head hitting the pillow. It’s not long before his eyes are falling shut and his breathing steadiest itself; maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s the exhaustion finally catching up to him, but he’s out cold in a matter of minutes. He’s drifted off to dreamland without a single protest; all it took was for Harmony to sit by him, playing with his hair and whispering softly that he is her best friend and that he’ll be better in the morning. It’s all it took for him let his body rest; it’s not long before she’s pushing herself off the mattress and making her way away from the bed.
Ok, but what if..... what if I do both? And I just start with 45. "What Do Want to Watch?" Would that be acceptable?
---
The door is closed; Harmony knows she doesn’t have to knock anymore, that she can just walk in as she pleases, but still, she stands there. She stands there, staring at the wooden door. She stands there, her hand resting on the door handle. Yeah, she can’t do this. She lets her fist meet the wooden panel, listening to her knocking echo through the door.
It’s not long before Urbain is pulling his door open. His smile is sweet as he cocks his head to the side. He’s really pretty to look at; he’s so pretty, it’s a little unfair.
“What’s up, Harms?”
She purses her lips, rocking on her heels. Maybe it was a mistake coming to Urbain. Maybe she shouldn’t be bothering him with this. She’s not his problem to solve.
“M’bored?”
His laughter is always so bright. His laughter alone can light up Harmony’s world; she can’t help but smile every time he laughs so openly. It’s such a lovely sound; she will never get enough of it. She will never not be mesmerized by it as he ushers her into his room.
“Lemme just finish up this email and then I’m sure we can figure out something to do.”
Harmony nods as he heads back to his laptop. She lets her body flop down on his bed; she stares at the ceiling as the soft sound of typing fills the air. How he does it, staying concentrated and on top of things, Harmony will never understand. He’s out all day, running around and following orders from every higher up at Quasartico Inc., then he heads back to the hotel to get cooking and continue working. And after all that, he still has energy to entertain Harmony; he always promises he will make time for her.
“And—” the mattress dips to Harmony’s left— “I’m all yours.”
It’s instinctual, rolling onto her side and wrapping her arms around his middle. His hand finds her hair, fingers twisting and playing with a stand of loose hair. How dare he be this sweet with her?
“Does your laptop still have power?”
“What?”
Harmony shifts; she pushes her whole body onto the bed, flipping onto her back and letting her head rest on Urbain’s lap. He’s looking down at her, smiling before poking her cheek and laughing. He always laughs so easily, so beautifully.
“If it’s not dead, wanna cuddle and watch something?”
Urbain’s eyes seem to sparkle; Harmony knows very well that he would adore to do so. It’s probably in his top three favorite things to do when he’s tired; she’s not crazy enough to say that she doesn’t also adore letting herself melt into his side, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders as they watch a movie or two until they both fall asleep. Honestly, any activity that involves Urbain counts as her favorite activity. She’s happily humming as a kiss is pressed to her forehead, Urbain slipping out from under her to go fetch his laptop.
“Did you have anything in mind, Harms?”
“What do you wanna watch?”
Urbain flops onto his stomach next to Harmony. He doesn’t bother trying to conceal his passcode as he logs into his laptop; Harmony has warned him to be more careful, that being so careless about security measures will eventually bite him in the ass, but at this point, she already knows all his passwords. There’s no point in him trying to hide them from her anymore. Instead, she just snuggles closer to him as he opens up a website and begins scrolling.
She already knows what he’s going to pick; whenever he gets to pick what they’ll watch, his first pick is always that old cringy romcom he claims is a cinematic masterpiece. At this point, he probably knows the whole script by heart; he could probably recreate it all on his own from how often he’s watched that movie. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that it makes him happy. All that matters to Harmony is that Urbain is happy as he hits play and pulls her closer. All that matters is that he’s pressing kisses to her cheek as they wait for the ad to finally become skippable, waiting for the moment Urbain can close all the pop-ups without too much trouble and they can watch for what feels like the fiftieth time the same movie. All that matters is that Urbain is there.
Can you do 67 on the list because 67 is friggin tuff
So I know you said to forget about this one, but what if.....? What if I also wrote this one?
---
A smile tugs at the corners of Harmony’s mouth as arms wrap around her waist. Urbain nestles his chin against her shoulder, pressing a tired kiss right there; he’s been hard at work all week, pulling more all-nighters than ever for some project Vinnie has put him on. It would be great if he could come to bed at a reasonable hour, but Harmony knows better than to ask that of him. She knows all too well that he will bend himself backwards to help others, even if it takes a toll on his own health.
“Whatcha doing?”
“The dishes.”
Urbain is not stupid; he knows that Harmony is doing the dishes, an easy deduction from the way her hands are plunged in soapy water, a sponge in hand. She knows that he’s asking more as a way of wondering why she’s doing the dishes; she is by no means a good dishwasher. If anything, she’s the exact opposite, leaving her dishes in the sink until they magically disappear; perks of having a boyfriend who is just so good at doing chores. So Harmony is not one to normally volunteer herself to wash dishes; her doing so is, in fact, a very jarring sight.
“Why?”
“Because,” a kiss is pressed to Urbain’s ear, water running up her arms and soaking the cuffs of her shirt, “you’re exhausted. And I didn’t want to let you do more chores after everything you’ve been doing.”
Urbain hums, burying his nose in the crook of Harmony’s neck. Giggles erupt from the girl as his hold on her tightens. Surprisingly enough, he’s not arguing with her, insisting that he’s not that tired and that he can do the dishes. Surprisingly enough, he just stays there, his breathing steady and warm.
“Thank you.”
A smile tugs at the corners of Harmony’s mouth once more. It’s always nice when Urbain accepts help. He’s pretty particular with the way he wants things done, always extra hard on himself, but this time, he’s letting Harmony do the dishes her way without correcting her or insisting to do it himself. He really is just staying there, cuddled up against her, letting his shoulders relax for the first time in days.
“Any time, Urbain.”
A soft snort is muffled by her shirt. A soft snort has Harmony turning the water off and turning in Urbain’s arms to face him. His cheeks are warm against the palms of her hands; his eyes are tired, but they shimmer nonetheless so beautifully. He’s exhausted after his never-ending week, but still, he manages to find the energy to laugh at her.
“What?”
A quick kiss is stolen before an answer leaves his lips. He’s still smiling, holding back his sweet laughter, but Harmony is no fool. And she will not be treated like one, especially not when she’s going against everything she stands for and washing the dishes for once!
“Sweetheart,” warm hands move down from his cheeks before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer, mirroring Urbain’s embrace, “we both know that you won’t be doing the dishes ‘any time,’ especially if it’s for me.”
Harmony huffs, now burying her face against his shoulder. Fine, maybe he’s right. Urbain has nagged her more times than she can count about cleaning up after herself rather than just tossing her dirty dishes into the sink, but can’t he let her sound sweet for once? Make it sound like she’s a perfect, amazing, flawless girlfriend? Just this once?
“Still, though…” Another squeeze at her waist, her feet leaving the ground momentarily before leaning her whole weight into Urbain’s chest as her heels find the kitchen floor once more. “Thank you. I genuinely don’t think I would have had the energy to clean up tonight.”
“It’s the least I could do. You,” a kiss to his shoulder, “always do so much for everyone. It’s only fair that I take care of you every once in awhile.”
He can accept that. Urbain can accept being taken care of, even if Harmony can feel him fight back the urge to fight back. She knows him too well: he’s the caregiver, not the other way around. Being taken care of means owing something, needing to pay back the care, and Urbain doesn’t want to be indebted to anyone. Not in any shape, way, or form. But when it comes to Harmony, she knows he’s trying to break those walls down. She knows he’s trying his best to accept the love and care.
If you're still doing the prompts thing, 48. "I'll Do It for You"?
Yes!!! Of course!!!! I'm always doing them!!!!!!! You're always free to send them my way!!!!!
---
Urbain groans as he presses the palms of his hands against his cheeks. This was a bad idea. This was a terrible idea. What in the world prompted him to decide to reorganize AZ’s entire bookshelf at this hour? It wasn’t even that messy! It just needed a bit of dusting and, well, if Urbain was going to dust the books, he might as well have pulled them up to wipe down the shelves, and if he was pulling the books out anyway, then why not reorganize them as well? Except he hadn’t realized just how many old dusty books AZ has hoarded over the years.
“Whatcha doing there?”
Gray eyes, freckles, and the kindest smile; Urbain buries his face in his hands as Harmony crouches down next to him. He can hear her picking up a book or two from the floor, probably flipping it her hands and inspecting the covers; hopefully, it’s one with a legible title and not one with some old, lost language scribbled on it.
“You doing some light reading or somethin’?”
Laughter spills out of Urbain, though he can’t quite tell if it’s genuine or if it’s just from his annoyance at himself. They both know all too well that he has never and will never read any of these books. No one has read them other than maybe AZ, and even that’s questionable.
“Nah, just picked up a new project way too late.”
There’s shifting next to Urbain. Harmony is pushing herself onto her feet. She shuffles around him, picking up a few scattered books; he watches her through his fingers, watching her pile them in her arms before placing them on the couch. She seems to making different piles, though the thought process behind them remains unknown to Urbain.
“What… are you doing?”
“If you need a break, then I’ll do it for you. You were putting them away, right?”
Urbain blinks at the girl. She says it so matter-of-factly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world and not like she’s taking up a massive project for no real reason. She doesn’t have to do this; this is Urbain’s mess. It’s his fault he’s here, so he should be the one putting everything away. Harmony doesn’t need to bother herself with his messes.
“Why would you do that? You could be doing a million other things, so why are you doing this?”
Harmony smiles as she kneels next to Urbain, placing her hand on his knee. She smiles softly at him, her eyes creasing at the corners. She doesn’t look mad or annoyed at him; it doesn’t seem like a chore to be here with him.
“S‘cause I wanna help you. You look tired, and you’re always taking care of everyone else. So,” she smiles even wider; she seems to almost glow, “please let me help you. Sit down and let me do this for you.”
Urbain stares as Harmony pushes herself back onto her feet. She hums to herself as she goes back to piling the books on the couch. He still doesn’t understand why she’s doing this, but he doesn’t have it in him to argue with her. He doesn’t have the energy to insist that he can do it all on his own. So he just sits, leaning his back against the wall, and watches. He watches as Harmony moves back and forth; Urbain lets his eyes fall shut as her humming turns to soft singing to herself. He can’t understand the words she’s mumbling out, but it’s nice nonetheless. It’s nice not feeling like he’s drowning for once. It’s nice not feeling like he’s crumbling under everything.
“Hey, sleepyhead.” Urbain stirs, rubbing his eyes. “You wanna go to bed instead?”
“What?”
The lobby is dark by the time Urbain is opening his eyes again. How long has he been out of it? Where did this blanket come from? What time is it?
“What happened?”
“You passed out like an hour and a half ago.” Harmony pokes his cheek; she’s still smiling at him. “Told ya you were tired.” She holds out her hand; Urbain hesitantly takes it. “But I’m pretty sure your bed is gonna be way more comfortable than the floor.” Harmony pulls him up; Urbain stumbles a bit, but he’s back on his feet. “So lets get you to bed, sleepyhead.”
The lobby is dark. His mess is all gone. The bookshelf is filled once more; books line the shelves, books who seem to be organized in alphabetical order. Was he really out that long?
“You did all this?”
“Of course I did. I told you I was gonna do it for you, and I don’t back out on my promises. And, as I said, you’re always the first one who’s there to help everyone else. You’re always the first one to help me when I’m struggling with something. And,” Harmony gives Urbain’s hand a squeeze before letting it slip out of her hold, “I wanted to take care of you for a change. As a thank you. And because you’re my best friend. But c’mon, lets get you in bed. I don’t know how much longer you’re gonna last before collapsing.”
Harmony is kinda right; Urbain doesn’t have the energy to do anything. He doesn’t protest; he just drags his feet towards the elevator. And he’s still accompanied by Harmony; she’s steadying him as he sways a bit from the exhaustion. She’s there; Urbain has never been cared for this way.
“Thanks, Harms. Thanks for everything.”
“It’s what friends do. We take care of each other.”
Rays of morning sunshine filters through the curtains, slowly stirring Harmony awake. The room is still dark, still conducive to sleep, but as a warm hand finds her ways, she can’t bear the thought of drifting back to dreamland. Why should she when she had a hot boyfriend cuddling her for real, running his fingers down her arm until they lace with hers? What dreamland could possibly compare to the reality she’s been blessed with?
Harmony hums as Urbain presses a kiss to the nape of her neck. He’s still half asleep, burying his face in her shoulder; he’s still half asleep, unlike Harmony who is fully enjoying the paradise she has found. How can she possibly go back to sleep when she likes it here to much? How is she to ever return to her own bed now that she knows what it feels like to wake up next to Urbain? There simply is no way for her to return to a life where she isn’t woken up by his sweet kisses and his gentle touch. There’s no way she’ll ever fall asleep anywhere that isn’t around Urbain; he’s just too warm and comfortable for her to find some place else to go.
Harmony bites back a grin as Urbain mumbles her name against her skin; it just sounds so nice in his sleepy voice. Declarations of love sound even lovelier, declarations that have her pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Everything that has to do with Urbain has her over the moon; every word of his has her heart melting.
“G’morning, m’Love…”
“Hey, baby…”
Truly, if Harmony can wake up every morning this way, flipping over and cuddling closer to Urbain, then she will forever be a happy girl. She’s more than happy as she buries her face against his bare chest, letting him wrap his arms around her and holding her close. She’s ecstatic at the prospect of more kisses being peppered across her face, one for every freckle that covers her cheeks and nose.
“You’re in a good mood this morning.”
“Well,” Harmony grins as she presses a kiss to Urbain’s collarbone, “I did get to wake up to my hot boyfriend kissing me and touching me.”
A squeak breaks from Harmony’s lips as Urbain holds her tighter before letting his warm hands travel down her back, all the way to her thighs. And as he trails his fingers back up before settling on her ass and pulling her closer, Harmony can’t hide the gasp; she did mention that he was touching her, though his touch had been ever so slightly more innocent just a moment ago. It’s always a surprise when Urbain gets handsy with her; Harmony is usually the one teasing him until he breaks. It’s always a surprise, but it’s also never unwelcome; Harmony would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy having his hands on her body, holding her close and showing the signs of wanting her as badly as she wants him. It feels nice being desired.
“Did you want something, Harms?”
Blood rushes to her cheeks as she buries her face in his chest once more. Of course she wants something, and Urbain knows that all too well. He’s obviously teasing her as he presses a kiss to her forehead and coaxes her to tell him how he can be of service to her. He’s being a tease; he knows very well that she wants his touch until she dies and his kisses until she can’t remember a single thing other than his love. She wants all of him, at all times. She wants nothing but Urbain coursing through her veins.
Finally, a kiss. Finally, Harmony is getting her first kiss of the day. It’s sweet, a smile pressed to hers; Urbain is just so addictive. Urbain is everything to her; she adores how soft his lips are, lips that quickly part to let his tongue meet hers halfway. And as the kiss is deepened, frustration begins to build; her hand is being pulled away from the waistband of Urbain’s pyjama bottoms, away from where she wants to be. Frustration builds deep within her; she wants to touch him, have more than just his tongue in her mouth.
Harmony’s breath hitches as Urbain pushes her onto her back, pinning her wrist to the mattress. Sleep has long left his eyes; they shine with something she’s never seen as he looks down at her. They’re so blue, so beautiful, so full of hunger. They sparkle until the sight of him disappears; a whine breaks from Harmony’s lips as Urbain nips at the sensitive skin of her neck. His breathing is already ragged as he drags his nose along her jaw before pressing a kiss to the back of her ear.
“Careful there.” His voice is low and so different from his usually chipper bright tone as he pushes her wrist deeper into the mattress. “I don’t think you realize what you’re doing to me.”
What she’s doing to him? Does he realize what he’s doing to her? He’s the one running his hands up and down her body, fingertips sneaking their way under her sleeping shirt and tracing along the hem of her underwear. He’s the one letting his hands wander around her body, nails grazing her skin and leaving her with tingling sparks in their wake. He’s the one pressing kiss after kiss to her neck, loving yet hungry.
A strangled sound catches in Harmony’s throat as Urbain’s fingers slip through hers; his grip tightens as he holds her there and leaves his mark on her shoulder. She’s not one to normally bruise, but she knows when those kisses will bloom under her skin for her to carry for the upcoming week; her boy is normally so gentle with her, until he gets greedy. And he’s being very greedy at the moment.
Finally, Harmony manages to pull her hand out from under Urbain’s. With both hands free, she’s not losing any time; her nails dig into his soft skin, holding him close, his body flush against hers. Whines break from her lips, whines that she muffles against his shoulder. If he pulls away, if he gets up, if he slips out of her hold, there’s no guarantee of what Harmony might do. She cannot bear the thought of not having all of Urbain right here and now.
“Urbain, babe…” He hums into her skin, smiling, but he doesn’t stop leaving his mark. “Please. Please, baby, I need you.”
“Yeah?” He’s a fucking tease, running his fingers up and down her upper thigh; it’s probably revenge for every time Harmony has teased him. “How do you need me, Sweetheart?”
“I need you inside of me.”
At this point, Harmony is ready to admit that she’s easy, at least when it comes to Urbain. All it took was one taste of Urbain for her to go crazy and want him at all moments; any opportunity to have his hands on her—or inside of her—is a good one. And it’s not like Urbain has many objections to her horniness, except maybe that one time at 4 in the morning. That time he had just rolled over, pulling his pillow over his head and shoving Harmony back to her side of the bed. He was probably barely even conscious and Harmony is absolutely not going to bring it up ever again, even if it’s just to apologize; it was embarrassing enough to realize what she was doing. Truly, it’s horribly embarrassing to be in a constant state of wanting Urbain, needing him like he’s the air she breathes.
Urbain is surprisingly good at following orders. He doesn’t need to be told twice: fingers trail down Harmony’s parting knees as she lets out another sigh. Nails graze her skin, the touch always feathery light; fingers hook around the elastic band of her underwear before tracing the natural lines of her body. And Harmony feels her body quake under his touch; it’s completely instinctual, the lifting of her hips.
Harmony’s mind had melted away as more kisses trail down her jaw and neck. All she can think of is Urbain as another strangled breath catches in her throat; she’s going crazy as a hand smooths the already wet fabric of her underwear.
“Urbain…”
He’s teasing her again. He’s teasing her as he lets his touch wander around without giving her everything she wants. He’s teasing her as he slips his hand into her panties, parting the slick wetness that has pooled between her thighs because of him. He’s teasing, dragging a finger from her opening to her clitoris before pulling his hand away; he seems to be taking pleasure in her pleading sighs.
“Urbain, please…”
“Please what, Sweetheart?”
Now he’s being an ass, and he knows it. He’s being an absolute asshole, and Harmony is not going to let him get away with it; her heel collides with his lower back, causing him to gasp as the full weight of his body crashes onto Harmony. And from the look in his eyes, Urbain seems to realize he took it too far; too much teaching won’t get him anywhere, a lesson he better learn very quickly.
“Fine! Fine! I’m sorry!”
He lays there for a moment, his head resting against Harmony’s shoulder. His eyes fall shut, a content hum filling the air as she threads her fingers through his hair; she still wants him, wants him deep inside of her, but they can start again, with less teasing this time. They can take it from the top and do it right this time.
Urbain is gentle with Harmony. He doesn’t tease her anymore, though his hands still wander. And it feels nice, the way he traces the folds of her sleeping shirt. There’s no rhyme or reason to his touch, but it still feels so nice. He’s not looking to pull gasps or pleas from her, waiting for her to beg for him to touch her; he just wants to have his hands on her. And despite the thin cotton separating his body from hers, Harmony doesn’t complain. Surprisingly, it almost feels better than if it hadn’t been there at all; it only makes the anticipation that much sweeter.
Sweet relief washes over Harmony as Urbain finally slips his hand back under her shirt. Again, he’s gentle. He’s sweet and considerate, simply running his fingers up and down her sternum as she presses a kiss to his hair. And as she tangles their legs together, making sure he cannot leave to start his day and leave her in this state, things feels like they’re finally falling into place.
His hands are warm against her skin. They’re so soft; he’s so perfect. Urbain is so perfect as he pushes himself up just enough to press a kiss to the back of Harmony’s ear, whispering to her about how much he adores her. He’s absolutely perfect as he tells her that she’s his everything and how badly he wants to touch her. There has never been someone as perfect as Urbain as he pulls a gasp from Harmony; his feathery light touch trails along her body, pulling her shirt up just enough to leave kisses along her ribs. He’s absolutely everything to her as her fingers find their way back into his fluffy hair.
“For real this time,” Urbain’s eyes are so blue; they shimmer like sapphires as he rests his chin against Harmony’s sternum, “what can I do for you, Sweetheart?”
No words leave Harmony’s mouth; she simply guides Urbain to where she wants him. And he’s more than happy to comply; a soft smile pulls at the corners of his mouth as he lifts her shirt a little more before pressing a light kiss to her breast. As always, he’s attentive and devoted; he’s not teasing her, waiting for her to beg him to give him more, though he is still taking his sweet time with her. There’s just no rush as his tongue meets her skin.
A squeak jumps out of Harmony as she grabs a fistful of Urbain’s hair; her grip quickly loosens, apologies tumbling out of her as he pulls back. Thankfully, a simple plea for him to not stop is all takes for him to go back to doing what he was just a few seconds ago. He diligently brings her back to seeing stars, his hand running up her thigh as he keeps working magic with his tongue.
A smile breaks across Urbain’s face as Harmony beckons him closer. Sweet hums are muffled by her kisses as she holds his face in her hands. There’s no denying that she wants him on her, in her, all over her, but she also wants his kisses. She wants every one of his kisses, from now until the end of time. She needs him to know that she adores him as her tongue meets his.
“Harms…”
Her name always sounds so good in his voice, especially when it comes out all strained, like he’s pleading her. It also sounds overwhelmingly good when he’s repeating it over and over again as she gets to pleasure him for a change. It drives her absolutely mad, the way he tries his best to not make a sound, stifling his sighs as nails drag against his bare back and her kisses keep him close. She goes a little crazier every time he gasps against her lips; she can’t help but pull at the waistband of his pants, loosening the drawstrings.
It’s always so intoxicating to feel his growing impatience against her. Giggles always erupt out of Harmony as she pulls him closer; giggle-filled kisses make their way along his jaw until she’s right by his ear.
“If you want,” she keeps her voice low as she lowers her hands under his waistband, “we can keep going.”
Another hitched breath is muffled by her shoulder; Urbain folds under her light touch grazing his bare skin. His breathing is a little raggedier than usual; a grin stretches across Harmony’s face as he presses his body against hers. That in itself is enough of an answer for her. The kisses that pull at her neck, pulling whimpers out of her, are also good indications of how Urbain feels about her proposition; her knees part once more, begging for Urbain.
There’s too much clothing separating the two; Urbain has too much on his body for Harmony’s liking. Thankfully, he doesn’t resist as she slips her hands back under the waistband, pulling everything down; thankfully, he’s coordinated enough to kick his pants off, letting them hit the ground as he returns to pushing Harmony’s shirt all the way up to her neck. This time though, she doesn’t just leave it there as Urbain returns to worshipping her body, kisses and bruises left on her collarbone, her breast, and her stomach; this time, she’s pushing herself up just enough to pull the shirt over her head and tossing it in the same vicinity as Urbain’s clothes.
It’s still a little embarrassing, getting naked around one another, but Harmony would be lying if she said she didn’t find Urbain beautiful. He’s still definitely shyer than she is; she can feel the heat in his face against her skin as she reaches out to touch him. More often than not, he still tries to hide, though there’s absolutely no way Harmony is letting him do that. She wants to see him, take in how breathtakingly gorgeous he is. She wants to see every part of him. She wants to the blue of his eyes, see the way they lose focus as her fingertips gently brush against his dick. She wants to see the way his breath hitches, the rise and fall of his chest. She wants to see the way his hips twitch under every teasing touch of hers, because every reaction pf his has her wanting more of him. She wants him so fucking bad.
“Harmony…”
Her hand falls away from him. There’s a flush in Urbain’s cheeks that has no business driving her as crazy as it does. He really is just so mesmerizing; would it be wrong for Harmony to touch herself at the sight of him?
Fingers slip through hers before she can make it into her underwear. Warm fingers tighten around her hand, pressing it into the mattress; even warmer kisses leave more of their mark against her neck.
“Harmony, please…” Her knees spread at the sound of her name, breathy and dripping with want. “You’re actually driving me insane right now…” Her hips lift as Urbain’s hand leaves hers to find the elastic band of her underwear. “I’m begging you…” Sweet relief washes over her as the last of her clothes are pulled off her body and tossed to the floor. “I need you, Sweetheart. I need you so fucking badly.”
No more needs to be said; Harmony’s knees are parted and pulled up. Her toes curl into the mattress as she guides Urbain into her. It’s a lot easier than she anticipated it to be; a gasp melts into a moan as Urbain takes his time, careful not to apply too much pressure. He’s making heavenly sounds himself, a song he’s muffling into Harmony’s shoulder despite her desire to hear him loud and clear.
The first thrust leaves Harmony choking as her nails dig into Urbain’s back. She need shim close. She needs him there. If he backs out of this, she might scream, and not the good kind. She cannot let him go; her thighs are squeezing around him as she sinks her teeth into his shoulder.
They move in sync; they always have and this time is no exception. And never could have Harmony imagined how good it would feel to have Urbain inside of her; how can she ever go back to taking care of herself in the shower now that she knows what Urbain feels like? If her head had once been filled with fantasies of him, she now knows what the real thing feels like. How long has she been craving this? How long has she wanted to feel him inside of her? Too long. She’s been wanting this for far too long; there’s no more holding his name back as she runs her fingers through his hair. There’s no more silence as Urbain grinds his hips against hers.
More gasps fill the air, though there’s no telling who they’re from. All Harmony knows is that her legs have wrapped around Urbain, holding him in her; all she knows is that his name is the only thing coming out of her mouth as he runs his hand up and down her body and presses kisses to her shoulder between heavy breaths.
“More!” She fists his hair, pressing him down deeper into her. “Urbain, I swear, if you stop, I will fucking kill you!”
“What do—”
“Please, baby! Please, I’m begging you, please do not stop!”
It’s not often that Harmony has to clasp her hand over her mouth, muffling the whines and cries as she tips her head back into the pillow. Her heels have found the mattress once more, digging deep to push herself up. She needs more of Urbain; she needs him so deep inside of her. She needs to swallow him whole; she’s waited far too long for this moment to happen.
“Harms, I—”
Urbain’s body jerks as he buries his face in Harmony’s shoulder. She can feel his body tense before relaxing completely; Harmony’s head melts back into the pillow he had been gripping as he thrusted his hips. Each breath of his is ragged, coming out as a choked pant; she hums contently as Urbain nuzzles her, not yet moving. Just a moment more of closeness before sliding himself out of her.
“I’m sorry, I—”
Harmony cuts him off with a kiss. Urbain will not be apologizing. There will absolutely be no apologies, not after he’s done such a good job at thrilling her. Harmony will not be hearing any of it; Urbain’s eyes double in size as she flips onto his back, now straddling him. They’re so wide, so blue, at least until he’s squeezing them shut as her mouth finds his once more.
“You did so good, baby. You did amazing.”
Their laughter blend together, giggles filling the air as Urbain pulls Harmony closer in a tight hug. Legs tangle together; bodies fit together perfectly. Kisses close the little distance between the two, kisses that are far clumsier than they’ve ever been.
“You’re the one who did good, Sweetheart. I barely did anything.”
“Lies!” Another quick peck is pressed to Urbain’s lips before Harmony rests her head against his shoulder. “You… you just felt really good.”
“And you even better.”
They can agree to disagree about who did better; in the end, Harmony knows she’s right because she always is. And Urbain can never deny her anything, so he won’t be telling her that she’s wrong. He did way better than she did; otherwise, how is it that he took her to the moon?
“I love you, Harms.” A kiss is pressed to her hair as she snuggles closer to him. “I love you so much.” Another smile is pressed to her cheek. “Especially when you’re moaning my name over and over again. It’s almost as if you, like, have a crush on me or something.”
Giggles fill the air again as she shoves him away. He’s back to teasing her, openly laughing, but this time, it’s not unbearable. This time, she can get her revenge, grabbing a pillow and hitting him in the face with it.
“How dare you!” Another hit with the pillow; Urbain’s arms protect his face. “You can’t tell me you love me and then pull that shit on me!” Urbain manages to grab the pillow as he pulls her onto him; Harmony’s cheek is pressed against his chest, muffling her words. “You can’t just… Not when you know that I also love you…”
“Glad to know it, my Love. Glad to know I’m not the only idiot in love here.”
“No, no. You’re definitely the only idiot.” She props herself onto her elbows to hold his gaze. “I might be in love with you, but I am no idiot. I just happen to love you and,” a grin pulls at the corners of Harmony’s mouth as she trails her hand down Urbain’s body once more, “your dick. Because you work miracles with that thing.”
Urbain really is just so pretty when he blushes. His whole face turns red, even if he tries to hide it behind a pillow. Thankfully, he doesn’t resist much as Harmony pushes the pillow out of his face; she still wants to see him. She still wants to kiss him. She cannot be stopped; Urbain doesn’t stop her as she whispers against his lips that she loves him. Because she does. She loves him so much. She loves every part of him, every quirk of his. She loves everything that makes him, him. She loves him; she hopes to get to love him for the rest of her life. May she loves him for many, many more years.
“Are you almost ready, Darling?” Urbain smiles as he carefully presses a kiss to Harmony’s shoulder. Their reflection stares back at them in the bathroom mirror as Harmony continues to apply her makeup. “I’d tell you not to forget to be stunning for tonight, but you just always are.”
A snort slips out of Harmony as she tries to stay as still as possible. Urbain doesn’t want to be the reason her hard work gets smudged, so he resists wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing kisses to her face. He just watches her for a moment, watches as she grabs her mascara from the drawer and brings the wand close to her eye. He watches her, admires her, falls for her all over again; every day he falls a little more in love with the woman in front of him. Every day he is reminded of why he wants to spend the rest of his life with her by his side.
“Welp,” he pops the p as he steps out of the bathroom, “I’ll let you finish up. No rush, alright, Love? There’s no timeframe, and I’m sure everyone will survive even if the CEO is an hour late.”
“No need to be passive aggressive about it.” He really didn’t mean for it to come out that way. “I’m basically done, so give me like 2 more minutes.”
“No, I…” A deep breath. “Really, Harms. No rush. It’s not even that important tonight. Just, take all the time you need. For real.”
Harmony sighs as she puts her tube of whatever down and turns to him. She’s gorgeous; Urbain can’t help but remind her that he loves her so much. And she repeats it back to him with a smile on her pretty lips, lips he wishes he could be kissing right about now. What if they stayed home? What if he dragged her to their bed and just covered her in kisses? What if the rest of the world disappeared, leaving nothing but them and the love Urbain has for Harmony?
“Give me like 10 minutes, okay? I promise, I’m actually almost done.”
“I’ll be up on the roof, okay?”
She nods before returning to the mirror. It takes a moment for Urbain to turn away from her and make his way up to where he said he’d be waiting. She’s just so beautiful; Harmony really is everything to him. He really does want to spend every waking moment with her.
The outside air is fresh against his face as he opens the door leading to roof. Lumiose City truly is a wonderful city; the streetlights shine beneath him, highlighting the people as they come and go. And Urbain has always enjoyed people watching; there’s something calming and comforting about watching all these strangers live their lives without noticing that they’re being observed by him. They’re living authentically; they don’t have to put on a show for prying eyes. They can laugh and run and cry as they see fit; their lives are for themselves only.
The moon is bright in the sky. It looks like it’s perched itself at the top of the ruins of what once was Prism Tower; a smile pulls at the corners of Urbain’s lips as he leans against the railing. He takes everything in, feeling grateful for everything he has. Sure, he’s lost a lot, and life hasn’t always been kind to him, but what he does have far outweighs his losses. How can he possibly not smile as he lets everything come back to him?
“Babe?”
The door creaks as Harmony pokes her head out. Urbain will have to grease the hinges or maybe straight up change the door, but that’s a problem for another day. Right now, he stares at his girlfriend; awestruck doesn’t even begin to describe what he’s feeling. She’s stunning, all done up like that. Her hair is pulled up, the way she always pins it up whenever they have a corporate event to attend; her hair is pulled up, that way that always leaves Urbain breathless. Her makeup is perfect; she glows as she approaches Urbain, her hand reaching out to his. And the dress she has on, that blue dress Urbain has always been weak to, it leaves him weak in the knees. She really is the most gorgeous woman in the world; there has never been anyone quite as beautiful as Harmony.
“Whatcha thinking about?”
Urbain blinks as she stokes his cheek. Her smile is bright and beautiful; it takes everything in him to not kiss the lipstick off of her.
“Nothing?”
“You’re always overthinking something when you stare off into the distance like that. Always on the roof, just staring at nothing as the gears are going crazy in that pretty head of yours.”
He can’t resist anymore; Urbain needs to steal a kiss of hers. He can’t hold back as arms wrap around his neck, Harmony tilting her head just enough for them to fit together perfectly. He needs to taste her lips, hold her close, whisper that he loves her more than anyone in the world. And repeat that, once again, he isn’t overthinking anything.
“Then why the roof?” Harmony presses a quick kiss to his lips before grinning. “Why not just wait for me downstairs? Or were you afraid that you’d be to tempted to open your laptop again and make us super late?”
“Hey!” Harmony grins, holding back her laughter as Urbain frowns. “I’m not that bad!”
“Of course not, Mr. President. It’s not like your job is your whole life or anything like that.”
“I can assure you that my job is not my whole life.”
“Then remind me why we’re going to a Quasartico-funded charity gala on a Saturday night instead of spending it in our pjs and watching shitty movies?”
Urbain sighs. Harmony does have a point; it would be a lot more fun to be cuddled under warm blankets, watching that shitty rom-com Urbain’s had in his watchlist for the past four months or letting a rerun of some sitcom play in the background as he shows Harmony a good time. There are a lot of things that are a lot more fun than work-related events, but Urbain isn’t exactly very good at saying no when it comes to Quasartico; hopefully, that will change with time, when people respect him a little more and he can actually afford to say no.
“It’ll be fun, I promise.” Harmony quirks her eyebrow at him; they both know that it won’t be as fun as just staying in. “They’re gonna have the fancy little bites of things I have never had in my life.”
“Fine. But no one better breathe a word about how I’m stuffing my face because I will walk out if I have to listen to one person tell me its not ladylike to be taking so much from the platter.”
Light laughter bubbles out of Urbain as Harmony presses her finger to his chest. She isn’t exactly known for her poise and gentleness; it’s no secret that the top trainer of the Royale is a bit of a brute who favors honesty over sparing feelings. She’s not one to lie just to make people feel better about themselves; she will never make herself small for others’ comfort. And that’s something Urbain adores about her; sometimes, he really wishes he was a little more like her.
“Hey.” Warm fingers brush against his cheek, drawing his attention back to sparkling gray eyes. “Babe, what’s bothering you?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. Tell me what’s going through your head.”
“That I love you.”
It’s the truth. Urbain really is thinking about how much he loves her. That very thought actually takes up a lot of his days; if he’s not trying to do damage control, or if he’s not busy trying to understand numbers, he’s thinking about how much he adores Harmony. He’s got her running through his head first thing in the morning, and she’s the last thing on his mind as he lets sleep take over.
“Hey, Harms?”
She hums as Urbain takes her hands in his. His heart is hammering in his chest as he holds her gaze. He can barely hear the city sounds from how loud it’s gotten in his head; there’s pounding in his ears and his hands won’t stop shaking despite Harmony’s grip tightening. Everything is too loud; he’s honestly suddenly feeling a little nauseous and stupid.
“Yes, baby?”
Harmony’s hand is warm and soothing against Urbain’s cheek. Everything will be alright. He can do this. He’s not stupid. He’s been wanting to ask for ages now. It’s now or never. He’s already taken the first step.
“You know I love you, right?” Harmony nods, not bothering to conceal her smile. “And that you’re my whole world?” She nods again. “And that I would do absolutely anything for you?”
“I know, Urbain. And you know that I love you too, right?”
He knows she loves him. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have said yes to a first date all those years ago, and she most definitely wouldn’t still be waking up next to him every morning. She wouldn’t be getting ready for a company event for him if she didn’t love him, and she most definitely wouldn’t be pressing a kiss to his lips as she repeats the words to him once again.
“I love you very much, babe. But,” another kiss is quickly pressed to his lips, “we should probably get going before we’re massively late.”
The opportunity is slipping away; Harmony is pushing her way out of Urbain’s hold. She’s turning away, ready to make her way back down to the ground floor. She’s ready to leave; Urbain cannot let that happen.
“Harmony.” His grip tightens around her wrist; she furrows her brow as she turns back to him. “Harmony Melodie Pax. You are the love of my life and I’m going to sound incredibly stupid right now if you walk away, but I need you to know that I love you. I love you more than anything in this whole world. And I cannot fathom a life without you next to me. So please, I’m begging you, please give me one more minute.”
Something in Harmony’s face shifts as Urbain lets go of her hand. She just stands there, staring at him; her breathing seems to have quicken, which is a little worrisome, not that Urbain has time to really focus on that. He’s a little preoccupied by his shaking hands as he does his best to curl his fingers around the little velvet box sunken deep into his pocket. If he drops it to the ground, he might die a little on the inside; thankfully, nothing falls as he pulls the box out and lowers himself onto one knee.
“Harmony, you are my best friend, the love of my life, my absolute everything. I don’t want to go a single day without you in it. So,” Urbain is shaking as he opens the box, “will you marry me?”
Thankfully, he doesn’t drop the ring box has he topples over; Harmony’s kisses are sweet as always as her arms wrap around his neck and she breaths her answer over and over again between each hurried kiss she lays on him. And her smile has never been bigger; she is absolutely breathtaking as Urbain slips the sapphire ring onto her finger. The cold of the metal feels nice against his cheek; the feeling keeps him from wondering if this is all a dream.
“It’s perfect.” Harmony holds her hand up to admire the ring as she gets comfortable in Urbain’s lap. “And it’s the same color as your eyes.”
That is a coincidence, maybe. It hadn’t occurred to him that the color matches his eyes; he just couldn’t help but notice the way her eyes has sparkled the last time they had walked down Vernal Avenue. He couldn’t help but notice the way she had slowed down, her eyes catching on the display window of the Stone Emporium. He couldn’t help but remember the exact set she had pointed out, calling it pretty. How was he supposed to notice anything other than the fact that his girlfriend was pointing out a bridal set and calling it gorgeous?
Another kiss is pressed to Urbain’s lips, bringing him back to the here and now. And as he tilts his head just enough to deepen the kiss, all of his excitement decides to come out at once. She said yes. Harmony said yes. He’s going to marry her! Not right this moment, but she’s going to be his wife!
“Holy shit.” Urbain can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of him as he buries his face in Harmony’s shoulder. “We’re gonna have to plan a wedding. And make a guest list. And a menu and—”
Urbain melts into the kiss. He doesn’t mind being silenced this way.
“Tomorrow. We can talk about that tomorrow. But right now, beloved fiancé,” heat rushes into Urbain’s cheeks as he grins at the new title, “I believe we have a fundraiser we’re extremely late for that we need to get to. And for once,” one more kiss is pressed to Urbain lips before Harmony slowly pushes herself off of him, “I kinda wanna go. I might wanna show off the pretty ring I got from Mr. President himself.”
Urbain is back on his feet before slipping his fingers through Harmony’s. He gives her hand a squeeze before pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.
How about 12. “Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.” for the "I Love You" prompts?
I had so much fun writing them be cute and silly, so thank you so much for the request 💛💛💛
---
The night has gotten surprisingly chilly; then again, what did Urbain expect? He had had to take shelter under an awning for a good half hour as it started pouring out of nowhere; he wasn’t brave enough to battle under the rain, no matter how badly he wants to make it to the top ranks of the Royale. So instead, he watched as trainers ran in and out of the battle zones, some laughing, their heads tipped back as water drips down their faces, others grumbling about the rain ruining their night. It’s always been so interesting to watch the people come and go; Urbain is normally so focused on winning as many battles as possible that he barely has time to see the people as people.
The rain has finally come to a stop; the summer air is stuffy once more, thick with humidity yet the breeze is chilling. Thankfully, Urbain’s clothes aren’t wet, so it’s not as bad as he tightens his jacket around himself. It’s far from the worst weather he’s ever dealt with; a light summer breeze has never stopped him before. He’s finally able to get back on track with his—
“Harms?”
Gray eyes find his in the darkness; they sparkle and shine like burning stars. Her hair is clinging to her face, dripping onto the floor. She, unlike Urbain, is soaked to the bone.
“Hey,” Urbain reaches out to her, his fingers warping around her wrist before tugging her towards him. “Get caught in the rain?”
The girl rolls her eyes, but her laughter is what really gets Urbain’s attention.
“Oh no. I just roll up to battle zones like this for funsies.” She grins, leaning closer. “Really catches my opponents off guard, y’know?”
Urbain shoves her aside, laughing along with her. Fine, the question was unnecessary. It’s quite obvious that she got caught under the rain, and once drenched, she probably didn’t see any reason to find shelter like he did. She’s probably won a lot more battles than he has tonight, but as a shiver runs down her spine, shaking her whole body, her winning streak might be coming to an end.
“Are you going back in?”
“Duh. Why else would I be here?”
A fair question. It’s not like any of the stores around here are still open. Anyone who is out is either on their way to a battle zone or stumbling home, half drunk. And given the focus in Harmony’s eyes, it’s obviously the former for her.
Urbain isn’t thinking straight; he’s shrugging his jacket off as he orders Harmony to take her blouson off. And of course she’s combative, tightening the garment around her; it’s never easy when it comes to Harmony.
“You’re going to catch a cold if you stay in that wet thing.” She still staring at him, still clinging to her wet clothes. “Here,” Urbain holds out his jacket to her, “take my jacket. It’s cold outside and I don’t want you to get sick.”
Reluctantly, Harmony takes her soaked blouson off before covering her shoulders with Urbain’s jacket. And something tightens in his chest as he watches her slip her arms through the sleeves; it definitely fits her better than it fits him. The cuffs don’t cut off above the wrists, and it’s actually a full-length jacket, not weirdly cropped at the waist. It looks good on her; it looks like how he remembers it to fit on a body that isn’t his own.
“What?”
“Nothing!” Urbain shakes his head as he takes Harmony’s soaked coat from her. “Nothing at all!”
The girl huffs as she steps closer. Her fingers slip through his, pulling his attention to where they meet before glancing up to her face. And she’s smiling at him. She’s smiling softly as her gaze holds his.
“You’re sweet, you know that, Urbain?” He doesn’t answer; he just lets his gaze fall to the floor before he says something stupid. “You’re so nice and selfless that you’re giving me your coat and letting yourself freeze to death instead.”
“I’m not cold!” Harmony raises an eyebrow at his interjection. “Really, I’m not cold. And I’m headed back to the hotel anyway, so I’ll be fine. I’ll take a warm shower and get into pjs and I’ll have completely forgotten about the shitty weather.”
“Then,” Harmony squeezes Urbain’s hand as she steps ever closer to him, “let me come with you. And if you get cold, then,” a kiss is pressed to his cheek which, in turn, is set aflame, “I can warm you up.”
86. “You’re important too.” for the "I love you" prompts.
Also I really enjoy reading your work! 🩷
Aah!! I'm so glad you enjoy reading what I write! I hope you'll also like this little drabble!!
---
“Oh! And for Naveen, I can try to find another recipe and make something different for him since he doesn’t like the curry I make. And for Lida, I can see if I have what it takes to make those Lava cookies she’s been missing. She’s been a little homesick these past few weeks.”
Urbain looks up from the pantry, his eyes locking with Harmony’s. She’s sitting on the countertop, as always, and looking at him with that unreadable look of hers. It’s a little bit freaky, being stared at like that, but Urbain knows she means no harm from it; she’s just really good at looking at him with a blank expression when he starts to ramble.
“Was there something specific that you wanted me to make for you? I don’t want you to feel excluded.”
Finally, the smallest hint of a smile pulls on the corners of the girl’s mouth. She’s sliding her body off her perch before crouching next to him. Her gaze softens as she leans into him.
“Don’t worry about what I want.”
Urbain furrows his brow.
“I’m always going to worry about what you want. If I don’t, then how am I supposed to make you happy?”
It doesn’t matter how long it’s been; every touch of Harmony’s still sends Urbain’s heart a flutter. And as she pushes a strand of his hair out of his eyes, as her thumb lingers against his warm cheek, he can’t help the smile that clings to his lips. He can’t help but smile at the girl; he really would do anything to make her happy.
“I promise I don’t need you to make me anything special. Just…” Harmony’s thumb traces along Urbain’s cheekbone before settling against his lips; he can’t help but press a kiss to the pad of her thumb. “What if you made something that would make you happy instead of thinking of what we all want?”
“And why would I do that?”
“Because you also deserve nice things. And we don’t get to complain when you’re the one always making sure that we always have edible food that doesn’t come from a takeout box. So, you should make what makes you happy.”
“Really, that’s not really important—”
“You’re important too, Urbain.” He blinks at the finality in Harmony’s voice. “You deserve to be happy and to make things that make you happy. So, how about we make something that you want to eat instead of what we would prefer?”
Urbain’s eyes drift to the side. He knows she’s technically right, but he hasn’t done things for himself in, well, he can’t even remember when’s the last time he did something purely for himself. Everything he does is for someone else; he strives to help as many people as he can, even if it means working himself to exhaustion. So, sitting here on the kitchen floor, next to Harmony who is asking him what he wants, Urbain doesn’t know how to answer her. What is it that he wants?
“I’m happy with whatever makes you guys happy.”
Gray eyes narrow onto Urbain. “Cop out answer.” Harmony’s gaze softens as she shifts, folding her legs under herself and resting her head against Urbain’s shoulder. “There has to be something you want. Even if it’s your monstrosity called Curry Croissant.”
Urbain leans his head against Harmony’s as he stares at the contents of the pantry. What does he want to eat? He’s never really thought of that; he’s always basing his meal plans on things Lida and Naveen have mentions in passing or what’s about to go bad in the fridge. Sure, technically Curry Croissant is something he makes for himself, but it’s also become more of a staple of Hotel Z than anything else.
“Do you think we have time to head to the store to get some ingredients?”
Harmony perks up, nearly smashing her head against Urbain’s; thankfully, no injuries occur as she bounces onto her feet. She holds her hand out as she grins at him.
“What’s today’s mission?”
The smile is easy on Urbain’s lips; his hand fits perfectly against Harmony’s as she pulls him off the ground.
“I need leeks. I wanna try making the curry my mom used to make when I was a kid.”
The girl squirms in her car seat as Urbain fiddles with the buckle. It’s actually quite unfortunate that Charlotte despises the safety feature this much; it makes going anywhere ten times more difficult than it needs to be. But still, Urbain is persistent; he breathes a sigh of relief as the buckle clicks closed, despite the squirming and kicking.
“Charlotte, please.” Exasperation coats his words. “I promise we won’t be in the car long.”
The toddler wails, kicking and hitting anything she can reach, but thankfully, they’re already at the easy part and Urbain tightens the harness. He doesn’t even want to imagine how much more difficult this would be if he had to adjust everything by hand.
“It better not be too long,” Urbain lifts his head, his eyes meeting exhausted gray ones from across the car, “because he’s about to wake up and—”
As if on cue, howls erupt from the infant carrier. Defeated sighs break from both sides of the vehicle; neither one will voice it, but in this moment, they might be regretting their life choices. At least, ever so slightly. How many years has it been since they’ve had a quiet car ride?
Despite the cries that flood the backseat, both Urbain and Harmony take their place up front. Harmony is hushing both Charlotte and Maxwell as Urbain turns the engine on, but they know it’s useless. Both children will be crying until they either tucker themselves out or until the car comes to a stop, whichever comes first. And given that both of them were magically down for a nap just before they had to leave, the destination is most likely going to be the place they stop screaming.
“Harms—”
“I know! I know!” She twists her body back into her seat. She looks absolutely exhausted, not that Urbain can blame her; he’s also on the verge of burning himself out from the lack of sleep. “I just—” More sighs as she contorts her body, reaching in the back to pick up a toy that has been tossed to the ground, something to keep both toddler and infant occupied for the next half hour. “I would just like to not have to deal with screaming until we get there.”
Maybe they should just call it quits. They can always go another day, when the kids are being babysat by Lida or Naveen for a few hours, but it wouldn’t be the same. This day only comes around once a year. And they’re already all in the car.
The drive is as frustrating as both parents expected it to be. Charlotte would not stop screaming that the harness was too tight and that her brother was hurting her ears. And Maxwell was just sobbing the whole time for whatever reason it is that infants sob. Even with toys or a movie, Harmony was not able to calm either one down. So both Harmony and Urbain suffered the whole drive there, too tired and agitated to speak to one another, other than Urbain scolding Harmony for unbuckling herself to reach out to the backseat, and Harmony telling him to pay attention to the road instead of concerning himself with what she’s doing in order to calm his children.
Both Harmony and Urbain are tired and annoyed as the car finally comes to a stop. And as Urbain pulls the handbrake with just a little more force than necessary, the wallowing also calms. The baby seems to have tired himself out which, in turn, calmed his sister. It would have been nice if they could have both stopped about 20 minutes ago.
“Papa, I wanna out.”
“I know, Charlie. Give me a second.”
Deep breath. In. Out. One, two, three. Urbain pulls his door open and makes his way to the back. If Charlotte made it difficult to buckle her in, thankfully it’s far easier getting her out of her car seat. She’s already trying to press the button to undo the buckle, but thankfully she’s not strong enough to unclip herself; Urbain doesn’t even what to imagine what it would be like if she was strong enough to get herself out of her seat and the problems that would cause. And as soon as the harness is loosened and everything unclips, the child is sliding out of her seat and tumbling out of the car before running to the other side to join her mother.
Everything is on autopilot from that point on: truck is opened, stroller is pulled out, diaper bag is stuffed in the basket, and baby is set in his cot. And for the first time since getting out of the flat, Urbain smiles. He smiles as wide blue eyes stare up at him, eyes that don’t show a sliver of sleepiness; Maxwell is going to be awake the whole time, for better or for worse.
“Charlie, you’re a big girl now. I know you can walk.”
“I don’t wanna!”
And there’s the tantrum. Charlotte isn’t screaming yet, but it won’t be long. At least not unless Urbain does something about it. And as he scoops the toddler up, perching her on his shoulders, he can’t even be bothered to defend himself from his wife’s glare.
“She needs to learn to walk on her own.”
“And she will. I just… don’t have it in me to deal with the screaming today.”
Harmony relents, especially as a kiss is pressed to her cheek. She also doesn’t have the energy to fight with a toddler today; despite the warm sun, the day is heavy. Every year, it’s heavy. Every year, for the past 15 years, they’ve woken up on this day with something hollow in their chests.
They have a block to walk before making to destination. Charlotte is singing from atop her father’s shoulders as Harmony pushes the stroller down the bumpy sidewalk; thankfully, Maxwell doesn’t seem bothered by this mode of transportation. Urbain is still catching glances of those big blue eyes staring at him; it will never cease to surprise him how dark they are, deep like oceans. And he knows they will lighten over time, just like with Charlotte, and that they might turn gray like Harmony’s, but this shade of blue is almost unsettling on the infant; it makes him seem so serious, paired with the fact that he only wails when he’s in the car.
“You think Navi or Lida are gonna have time to join us, or are they only coming over later?”
Urbain hums, thinking about it for a moment. Keeping track of Lida and Naveen’s schedule is like playing a game of chess; a single change of plans can mess absolutely everything up. It’s already a miracle that they’re both available and in town on the same day, but given the day, it doesn’t surprise anyone. They’ve all been making sure to mark their calendars for special events, like the yearly celebration of the formation of Team MZ. They all make sure to have these moments planned ahead of time; it’s the perfect excuse for everyone to get together, even if there are now tiny additions that have to tag along to these get-togethers. And today is another day to have everyone together, though it’s definitely less cheerful than the other days of the year.
“I think Lida should be able to make it before we head home. Not sure about Naveen though. I know he said he was gonna try, but he might go alone this year and then crash at ours.”
Harmony nods before turning her attention back to the now fussing baby. It’s crazy how much has changed in the last 15 years. It’s even stranger to think of the things that haven’t changed as the couple stand at the gates of Dormez Bien Cemetery.
Neither one dares say a word as they step foot into the cemetery. Only Charlotte remains cheerful, but even her cheery singing has died down to babbling as she sways left and right. Urbain has to steady her to make sure she doesn’t fall; he can feel her beginning to squirm, probably looking at every headstone, taking in every different shape, and at the quiet people standing around or planting flowers.
“Did you want to walk, Charlie?” She nods vigorously as her father lifts her high before letting her little feet touch the beaten dirt road. “But you have to hold my hand. I don’t want you to run off.”
She’s more than happy to hold her father’s hand, and he’s more than happy to hold onto her tightly as she tugs him around. Thank goodness she’s just a toddler and he’s a fully grown adult; who knows where they would end up if he were following her lead.
“I smell the flowers!”
“Charlie, those aren’t for you.” It would be quite mortifying to let his 4-year-old go pick flowers that were left as an offering for the deceased. “You’ll get to see more flowers when we go to the park later, okay?”
Urbain has to bite back his laughter as the toddler puffs out her cheeks and growls. It’s only cute because she’s his; he’s self-aware enough to know that it would get on his last nerve if this was someone else’s child. Or maybe he’s just too tired to be dealing with responsibilities that are not his own. But because it’s coming from his Charlie, he doesn’t mind so much. Harmony, however, is not in agreement.
“No growling, Charlie. You’re not a Pichu.”
The girl growls at her mother again, like some little rabid Pokemon; this time, Urbain lets out a snort which gets him a glare from his wife. He knows they’re trying to teach her to communicate with something other than animalistic noises, but it’s funny! Sue him! He finds it funny that Charlotte genuinely sounds like an angry little Eevee!
Thankfully, they make it to destination before anyone loses their patience any further. And as soon as Urbain’s eyes fall on the tall, circular headstone, he feels his grip on Charlotte’s hand tighten. He’s here every year, he knows that nothing will change, but it doesn’t make the pain less real. And as a gentle touch is placed on his arm, a soft smile sent his way, he can feel the prickling at the corners of his eyes; he knows he’s probably going to cry.
“You want a minute without the kids, first?”
Urbain shakes his head. Maybe later, but he won’t send Harmony on her way just yet. Anyway, she’s also allowed to be here; she, too, probably has things she wishes she could say to AZ, all these years later. So, they both stand there, leaning against one another, both their gazes flickering between the grave and the toddler who has wiggled her way out of her father’s grip and is climbing into the basket of the stroller.
“Careful, Charlie. Don’t hit your head.”
Fingers slip through Urbain’s, giving his hand a squeeze. He knows they’re all gathered here mostly for him; AZ was no stranger to Harmony, but they both know Urbain was closer to the man. Urbain is the one who had relied on AZ as if he were a parent to him; AZ is the reason Team MZ even is a thing. And though the true reason behind the formation of Team MZ has faded over the years, it’s still a nice way of remaining a tightknit group; without AZ, there’s no knowing if they all would have ended up meeting and becoming friends. Without AZ, Urbain isn’t sure he’d be where he is as he presses a kiss to his wife’s hair.
Maybe it’s giving the old man too much credit, but Urbain is fully convinced that he was the first stepping stone to having the life he has now. Without AZ, he wouldn’t have had a stable place to stay. Without AZ, he wouldn’t have been able to help Lida find somewhere to stay either. Without AZ, he never would have been forced into finishing his high school degree and meeting Naveen. And most of all, without AZ, without a hotel to promote, Urbain never would have met the love of his life, the mother of his children, his Harmony. None of this would have been possible if AZ hadn’t picked up a lost little kid who had nowhere to go two decades ago.
“Hey.” Urbain’s voice is hoarse; his cheeks are damp already. “It’s been a while.”
Harmony’s hand slips out of his as the man makes his way closer to the grave. He’s not quite sure what he’s doing until he’s lowering his body onto the ground, sitting there cross-legged. It’s not very long before Charlotte is scrambling into her father’s lap, asking her million and one questions; Urbain doesn’t have the energy to answer them all, but he’s more than happy to smile at his daughter and kiss her blonde little head. May she never have to go through what he has. He wouldn’t allow it, anyway. He would never forgive himself if he were to hurt her or Maxwell the way he’s been hurt.
“Why we sitting here, papa?”
“Because I’ve come to say hello to a man who was a little bit like my papa.” Charlotte’s little face scrunches; she doesn’t understand what Urbain is trying to say, but that’s okay. “See that big stone?” He points ahead of them, as if anyone could miss it. “It belongs to a man who took care of your papa when he was younger. That man, he’s not with us anymore, but he’s still very special to me.”
“Where is he?”
Teary laughter bubbles out of Urbain. How is he supposed to explain death to his toddler? She’s bound to learn about it someday, given that he does want to talk to her about her grandmother one day, but he didn’t anticipate explaining the concept right this instant. At least, not when he’s unprepared and on the verge tears.
“So you know how mémé and papi live far, far away? And they have to take a plane to come see us?” Charlotte nods, though Urbain isn’t sure if she’s fully following. “So this man—AZ—he lives even farther away. It’s so far away that we can’t go there. It’s just too far away. So instead, we come see him here. Because he left us with this big stone. And when we talk to him here, he can hear us, even if we can’t see him. Like when you talk to mémé and papi on the tablet, but the screen goes black. You know how you can still hear them, but can’t see them?” Again, Charlotte nods. “It’s like that, except AZ doesn’t talk back. He much rather just listen.”
There’s no way of knowing if Charlotte understands a word Urbain is saying to her; he’s not even sure if he’s making a lot of sense himself. But she’s staring at him with her big blue eyes, staring at him with the same look Harmony used to give him when he’d explain things from work to her; it really is a look he cannot, for the life of him, figure out.
“I can talk to Mr. AZ, papa?”
“If you want to.”
Charlotte pushes her way out of Urbain’s lap before toddling all the way up to the grave, nearly crushing the new bouquets that are left on the mantle. Urbain quickly tries to grab her before she gets hurt or ruins an offering someone has left, but as he scrambles to get up, she’s already there, her little hands pressed to the stone as she leaves a kiss right there.
Real laughter bubbles out of Urbain as he scoops Charlotte into his arms. She’s grinning, proud of herself. She’s grinning, a smile he recognizes as his own.
“Because Mr. AZ is nice to papa! And I like people papa likes!”
Silent tears are blurring Urbain’s vision as he holds his daughter close. He’s holding her tightly as she squirms in his arms again, giggling and kicking her feet. To her, this is a game; to him, she’s his whole world. Life didn’t end after losing those dearest to him; life began when he got to find new people to love.
“And AZ loves you, baby. He’d have loved you so much. So very much, Charlie.”
It barely registers in Urbain’s mind that the girl is being taken from him. He knows she’s safe; he knows it’s Lida taking her from him, given that the little one is squealing in his ear about how it’s Auntie Lida. He knows Charlotte will be safe; he knows he’s allowed a moment alone as Harmony presses a kiss to his cheek and tells him to take all the time he needs. They’ll be at the park a street corner away. They won’t be far away; they’ll be waiting him whenever he’s ready. He’s allowed to cry; he can finally let it all out without potentially worrying a child.
“You’d have loved them. I wish… I wish you could have met them.” The tears continue rolling as Urbain chokes back a sob. “Charlotte Grace and Maxwell Aiden. Both beautiful thanks to Harms.” He wipes his eyes, but the tears don’t stop. “I know you’re not here. I know you’re gone. But if you’re somewhere out there, if there is something after all of this, say hi to my mom for me? Tell her that I’m okay, but that I miss her dearly. And try to be her friend. She didn’t have a lot of those, and you were such a good friend to me.
“Please,” Urbain looks up at the monument that he can barely make out through the tears, “AZ, if you’re out there, please take care of my mother like you did with me. Because I’ll be fine. I’m always fine. I have Lida and Naveen, and more of all,” a sliver of a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, “I have Harms by my side, every day. But I need someone to take care of my mother if there’s something beyond this life. So please, say hi to her, be her friend if you can, and I’ll keep giving you life updates. I promise I’ll keep your memory fresh. I don’t think any of us could ever forget you. Ever. And thank you. Thank you for everything you did and everything you might do. Thank you. And I love you.”
He needs to focus. He needs to concentrate on the task at hand. And it really shouldn’t be that difficult! There’s a gigantic, frantic mega evolved Slowbro in front of him; his eyes should have no issues focusing on that. It should not be hard to keep his attention on the volatile Pokemon, and yet, here he is, his eyes always drifting to the side, falling onto the girl who is doing most of the work.
“Urbain! Do you mind?”
“Yes!” Urbain perks up, shaking his head, shaking his wandering thoughts away. “Right!” His cheeks stings as the palms of his hands collide with his skin. “Manectric! You gotta mega evolve, buddy!”
The Pokemon obliges, its body glowing as Urbain’s fingers tighten around his keystone. He needs to find a better place for it, stop having the precious stone dangle from his cluster of keys, but that’s a problem for a later time! He’ll figure something out when he’s not in the middle of a crisis; maybe Naveen can help him brainstorm practical ideas of where to keep that keystone so it’s within reach but also protected. But later! Right now, he needs to focus on the battle ahead of him. Right now, he needs to get a grip on himself and be helpful to Harmony who has been running around with Meganium, both avoiding the massive waves the rogue Slowbro has been sending their way. Urbain needs to stop being completely useless and constantly distracted.
“Spark, Manectric!”
Slowbro’s head snaps Urbain’s way. It charges at him, spinning like a top. Waves follow it, water that shimmers with electricity now. This is bad news. Urbain messed up big time. His feet feel like they’re covered in ice; he can’t move as the giant Pokemon flies his way.
“Meganium, bullet seed!”
Urbain’s heart stops; Harmony shoves him out of the way as Meganium’s attack throws their foe off balance. Its whole body tumbles to the side; Urbain finds himself on the cold, snowy ground. He’s on the floor, watching Harmony as she commands Meganium like she’s an army general; never has Urbain felt more useless than he does in the moment, weakly sending Manectric back into battle.
He hates that he feels so weak. He hates that he’s supposed to be the leader of Team MZ and he’s failing to do something as basic as lead his Pokemon in battle. He hates that he’s failing Harmony; what makes him think that he’s worthy of being a leader if he can’t even concentrate on the task at hand? What makes him think he can possibly call himself Team MZ’s leader if Harmony is the one doing all the heavy lifting? He doesn’t deserve that position. He deserves nothing but the weight on his chest, because he’s a fool. Urbain is nothing but a fool who thought he could play leader and get away with it, because, if he’s being honest, he doesn’t deserve the title. He doesn’t deserve to be leading this team, not when she’s there. Not when Harmony is clearly more suited for that title than Urbain ever has been.
“Bullet seed, again!”
Urbain has to stop staring at her. He needs to stop staring at her mouth, at the words she forms. He needs to stop staring at her, daydreaming about her. He has to get the image of her smile out of his head. Why can’t he think of anything other than the stain she left on his paper cup the last time they had stayed out too long, both nursing a hot drink to melt away the cold that surrounded them? He needs to stop thinking about that moment, stop playing it over and over again. Stop. He has got to stop thinking about the way her fingers had felt against his, the warm touch that had burned him as she stole his coffee away from him, taking a sip only to call it gross once more. He needs to stop letting Harmony invade every corner of his mind as he pushes himself off the ground.
“Thunder fang! Get its tail if you can!”
Manectric charges at its foe, its mouth already sparking with electricity. Its fangs are sharp; they pierce Slowbro’s soft fleshy tail like its room temperature butter. Its awful, watching the rogue Pokemon flail as sparks run up its body; it’s the perfect opening for Harmony and Meganium to strike once more. They work in perfect unison, neither one losing a second to jump onto this golden opportunity.
One last attack on Harmony’s part is all it takes for the rogue Slowbro to be defeated. A rainbow of lights blind Urbain as the Pokemon returns to its typical form. The colors pour down until Urbain is blinking, the world coming back into view; the once-frantic Pokemon now just sits there, exhausted, and Harmony and Urbain exchange glances. Both are left panting, exhausted from the running and dodging, wondering when things would be coming to an end. Both are grinning, overly proud of their achievement.
Urbain almost expects it; he’s ready when Harmony launches herself into his arms. He’s so ready, laughter falling from his lips as he spins the squealing girl around. The adrenaline is finally wearing out, exhaustion settling in his chest, but that won’t stop Urbain. He’s just as excited about this victory as Harmony is. He’s ready to celebrate surviving this just as much as she is. More than once did he think they were done for; more than once did he think that his end was right around the corner. But it’s not the end. It’s far from the end as Urbain presses his nose to Harmony’s cheek, Harmony with her arms tightly wrapped around his neck, Harmony who is resting all of her weight against him.
“You did it, Harms!”
“We did it.”
Silence falls; Urbain’s chest rises and falls. He wants to protest, insist that she did all the heavy lifting, and that he was, at most, the supporting cast of this battle, but as Harmony hugs him tighter before resting her head against his, showing no interest in breaking apart, Urbain can’t bring himself to ruin the moment. He can’t bring himself to start an argument, not when the girl seems so content where she is. So he keeps his mouth shut, just holding her for a little longer. He keeps his mouth shut as he lets his eyes fall closed.
It’s funny how a spur of the moment hug has turned into something far more frequent and casual. And while Urbain knows that Harmony has always been a physical person, someone who is always showering her Pokemon with kisses or giving them pets, he never thought that it would translate onto him. Never did it occur to him that he’d be the target for her warm hugs, but here they are, Harmony pressed to his chest, nuzzling closer as Urbain holds her closer than he’s ever held anyone before. Here they are, his nose pressed to her hair, biting the insides of his cheeks as a constant reminder to not press a kiss right there.
It’s here on the battlefield, and it’s back at the hotel. On more than one occasion, Urbain has jumped at the feeling of arms wrapping around his middle, of a chin digging into his shoulder, as he prepares yet another meal for everyone. On more than one occasion, Urbain has dropped what he was holding because Harmony had run up to him, excitedly rambling about another win, as she pulls him in for a bone-crushing hug. On more than one occasion, Urbain has found himself with the girl in his arms, holding her so close that he can still smell her shampoo on his cheek. Harmony, he’s so used to having her in his arms that she can’t even catch him off guard anymore; he’s steady on his feet, awaiting her body to collide with his with open arms.
“I absolutely could not have done this without you, Urbain.”
That’s a lie. Harmony can achieve anything on her own. She’s just that great! She’s that amazing, something Urbain absolutely adores about her, even if her greatness highlights his flaws. She is by far the most amazing trainer he has ever met, and she also happens to be an even better person, despite the extremely questionable and borderline rude things that come out of her mouth from time to time. But to him? Harmony is always so sweet, even when she’s yelling at him to pull himself together and help her avoid certain death. Harmony is everything to Urbain, which makes it just that much harder for him to not ruin absolutely everything they have built and blurt out how much he likes her. Because he likes her. He likes her so much. So stupidly much.
Urbain’s heart freezes in his chest as Harmony wiggles, loosing his grip and pulling away just enough to hold his face in her hands. She’s just being touchy, as she always is. She’s just being friendly as she grins at him. She’s just being Harmony, Harmony who doesn’t need to know how pretty she is; she doesn’t need Urbain doing something incredibly stupid because his heart has started again, hammering against his ribcage as she rubs soothing circles into his burning cheeks. She doesn’t need to know how close Urbain is to going insane.
“I couldn’t have done any of it without you. And,” Urbain’s breath hitches as she presses her thumb into his cheekbone, “you were really cool out there! And…” Her touch lingers, but it’s lighter as she traces the lines of his face and lets her gaze fall through the little space between the two. “And I really like battling alongside you. I also…” Does Harmony know how badly Urbain wants to touch her face or pull her back close and hold her there for the next eternity? “I just really like spending time with you.”
She’s out to get him. Harmony has to know that she’s driving Urbain completely crazy with her little smiles and shimmering eyes. She has to know that he’s weak for her; a pretty girl like her has to be aware of the effect she has on this poor fool. She has to know that she’s making it so terribly difficult to not ruin everything right here and now. And as a hand moves down his neck before settling at the collar of his coat, soft yet cold fingers never leaving his body, Urbain feels like he’s about to explode.
He’s so horribly down bad for this girl. He has it bad for this girl who truly is the sweetest and cutest person he’s ever met. He really hasn’t met anyone quite like her before; there’s no one else in the world who seems to shimmer in the light like Harmony does, sparkling snowflakes clinging to her brown hair. He’s an absolute goner when it comes to her; since realizing that it might not just be friendship he feels for Harmony, that there might be different feelings attached to how he sees her, those feelings have done nothing but grow exponentially at a very alarming pace. Since realizing that he likes Harmony, Urbain has not been able to look away from her. Since realizing that he likes her, he’s noticed so many little things that he hadn’t previously seen, like the flecks of brown around her irises that look like warm rays of sunlight, or the way her voice gets higher and breathier when she’s laughing. There are so many little things about her that he can’t help but notice; Urbain has spent countless sleepless nights staring at his ceiling, unable to close his eyes without dreaming of her and every new little detail he’s been collecting.
“And I was hoping,” Harmony’s fingers tighten around his collar, bringing him back to reality, only for him to notice her downcast eyes, “if you’re not too busy, of course,” gray eyes sparkle as they find Urbain’s once more, “maybe you could show me around a bit?”
Urbain tilts his head at Harmony’s request. She wants him to show her around? But she’s been in this city for nearly six months now; surely, there’s nothing else that Urbain can show her that will be interesting and new to her. She’s probably seen everything there is to see, and yet, there she is with her sparkling eyes and her warm breath, so close to Urbain, waiting for him to be her personal guide. She waits for his response, waits right there, and Urbain can’t bring himself to say no; has he ever been able to deny anything to Harmony?
“Sure!” Her smile lights up, a smile Urbain mirrors. “You know I’m never too busy for you.”
The girl grins as she lets her hands fall to her side. She seems ecstatic, bouncing on her heels and finding her place next to Urbain; it just feels so right to have her there, by his side. Until now, he hadn’t realized how empty it had felt. Now, he isn’t sure he wants to go back to a life without Harmony by his side.
The snow crunches under their shoes. It doesn’t often snow in Lumiose City, but when it does, Urbain is never prepared for it. Snow has never really been a part of his life; even back when he was a child, snow was a rare event that never really stuck around. Snowflakes would twinkle and dance in the sky, clinging to the freezing windowpanes of the stuffy apartment, but by the morning, it would have all disappeared, leaving nothing but memories of the snow in the form of wet streets. There was never enough snow to hear it crunch under his shoes or to really need more than an extra sweater under the coat he would normally wear during the cold months. But in Lumiosde City, Urbain has learned to bundle up when the ground would be covered in powdery white snow; he even got Naveen to make him a scarf out of thick scrap fabric because the boy had insisted that Urbain would die out there if he didn’t keep warm, which is a complete exaggeration. He’s more than strong enough to survive a light, chilling breeze. And even if he’s freezing, nothing can stop him; he’s always been able to handle whatever has been thrown his way, and he’s not about to change that about himself. That care and attention should be directed to others who truly need it, like Harmony who is rubbing her hands together.
“Did you want my gloves?”
Harmony perks up at the sound of Urbain’s voice. She blinks at him, her clasped hands frozen in place. The ends of her fingers are reddening from the biting cold, but she’s not saying anything. She’s just staring. She’s just staring before shaking her head vigorously.
“Oh! Oh, no! No, no! I’m fine!”
“But you’re cold.”
“I’m okay! Not too cold!”
Maybe Urbain is being too forward; he knows he can get a little carried away from time to time, and maybe he’s really overstepping as he grabs the girl’s hands and brings them close to his face. Maybe he shouldn’t be doing as he is. Or maybe he’s just gone insane as he blows warm air onto her freezing fingers. Maybe he’s lost his mind, but also, he can’t leave Harmony cold. He needs her to be warm and comfortable; she shouldn’t have to face the cold.
A smile tugs at the corners of Urbain’s mouth as he watches Harmony. She really is just so pretty with her cheeks all rosy. It’s most probably just the cold coloring her face that way, but it doesn’t take away from her beauty; Urbain needs to convince himself that the color in her face has nothing to do with him as he lowers her hands away from his mouth and presses his gloves into her palms. He needs to keep himself in check because if he lets it get to his head that she might potentially be flustered from his actions, then who knows where else his mind will wander off to. He can’t let himself imagine what it would be like to fluster Harmony; it would be the start down a very dangerous path.
“I just don’t want you to be cold, that’s all.”
Harmony begins to protest, to push the woolen gloves back into Urbain’s hands. She tries to assure him that she doesn’t need them, that she can handle a bit of now, that she’s dealt with much worse, and that worst to comes worst, she’ll just put her hands in her pockets to warm up, but as Urbain curls his fingers back around the gloves, pressing her hands shut, she gives in. She gives in; she’s moving in closer. She gives in; their toes are almost touching. Harmony gives in completely; Urbain isn’t thinking at all as he pulls her close, holding her tightly as she rests her head against his.
“I don’t want you to be cold either, y’know.”
“I promise you, I won’t be.”
A sigh breaks from Harmony’s lips, and Urbain’s heart shatters ever so slightly as she pushes her way out of his arms. Her expression is unreadable; Urbain is panicking as he’s never been looked at that way before. Her eyes, they’re filled with something that resembles worry, but it’s not quit ethe same look Lida gives him when he crashes through the door, panting from running under the rain. But it’s also nothing like the annoyed look Naveen gives him when Urbain teasingly insists the boy has to finish his whole plate of curry croissant if he wants to grow big and strong. It’s something different; it’s something that has Urbain’s heart melding back together and flipping in his chest as Harmony slips on the gloves and slips her fingers through his.
“Then at least let me share the warmth with you.”
Urbain nods despite the thumping in his chest. How many times now have they found themselves hand-in-hand? How many times have they walked around this way, Urbain’s cheeks and ears burning as he smiles at the girl whose shoulder brushes against his every so often? How many more times will they do this before he loses his mind and does something he will absolutely regret?
“Do you think that Slowbro is going to be okay? We kinda roughed it up…”
“I think it’ll be fine, Harms.” A smile tugs at the corners of Urbain’s mouth as he bumps his shoulder against her, drawing her attention towards him. “It’s probably in way less pain now than when it was Mega Evolved against its will. Probs just gonna go home and rest up.”
“You think it has a family to take care of it?”
That’s… a strange question to ask about a wild Pokemon. Surely, Pokemon also have families, and surely, depending on the species, they stick together for awhile. Like a pack of Tauros are surely more or less bred from the same parents until they go their own ways. Or a mother Pyroar is probably one of the most protective Pokemon when it comes her cubs, alongside Kangaskhan. Pokemon most definitely have their family dynamics, but Urbain is far from an expert on the subject. Actually, he’s not exactly an expert on family in general, but voicing that makes him seem a little sad and pathetic.
“I hope it has a family to go back home to that will help it heal. Or at least, maybe it’ll have,” Harmony’s shoulder brushes against Urbain’s her weight ever so slightly leaning into him, “another Slowbro to help it ease the pain. To care for it. To bring it food it found or caught until it’s all healed up. I hope it has another Pokemon out there that cares for it. I just really hope it’s not all alone. No one deserves to be alone, especially when they’re in pain.”
Urbain can’t disagree with the statement, but there’s also something that stops him from commenting on it. Something in his chest squeezes at the way she says it; is she talking about him? Because Urbain isn’t alone! He has his friends! He has AZ! And most of all, he now has his Harmony. He has gray eyes that twinkle like stars, and a smile he has found himself dreaming of on countless occasions. He has soft hands that fit so perfectly against his. And he has hugs; he has never had this many hugs before.
“I’m sure it’s perfectly fine now. But,” it’s instinctual, giving Harmony’s hand a squeeze, “if you’d like, we can go back and leave a few berries where the Slowpoke tend to gather? That way, maybe one of them will bring it to the Slowbro? Or it’ll come out and get them itself? And also,” Urbain hesitates for a moment, but his mouth is going faster than his brain, “I know you really wanted to walk around Aymlis Park when you first got here, but I never got a change to show you around, so maybe we could do that if you’d like?”
Harmony grins. Her smile is so wide, her eyes crinkle at the corners. She seems ecstatic; Urbain hopes he can make her this happy again in the near future. And as she tugs him along, the snow still crunching under their feet as they head over to the lake, Urbain wonders if they can od this every day. He wonders if she would allow him to hold her hand, let her drag him around as she excitedly tells him how wonderful an idea it is and how she wants nothing more than to help the Pokemon. He wonders if it’s possible or if it’s all just some silly fantasy; she would probably get bored of him, or at least, move on as soon as she finds someone more exciting than him.
The cold is finally catching up to Urbain. A shiver runs down his spine as he slips his hand out of Harmony’s, only to stuff it deep into the pockets of his jacket. He hates having to pull away, but the temperature has just become unbearable. And as he does so, the girl quirks an eyebrow; a smile tugs at the corners of her mouth as well.
“Have you finally accepted that you’re freezing?”
“So it’s a bit colder than I thought…”
Giggles fill the air as Harmony loops her arm with Urbain’s. There’s really no need for her to walk that close, but clearly, she chooses to. She wants to be near Urbain; his face burns as his mind lingers on that thought for half a second too long.
“Who know,” she leans in closer; Urbain’s face feels like a wildfire, “I’m surprised you even remembered that I wanted to check out Aymlis Park.”
“How could I forget?”
Truly, how could Urbain forget anything? When it comes to Harmony, he remembers it all: he remembers her coffee order, hoe she likes it with extra sugar to mask the bitterness of the coffee, he remembers that she likes peach tarts above all other desserts, and he remember how she likes her croissants in the morning, warm and flaky and dripping with strawberry jam and white chocolate. If it’s Harmony, he remembers even the smallest of details, but if for whatever reason he doesn’t remember those little details, or if he’s afraid he will forget them, his hand is immediately reaching for his phone, his fingers automatically opening up his notes app and jotting it down there. He will always remember the bigger picture, but he also memorizes the smaller details.
More giggles fill the air. More giggles and a yelp as Harmony pinches his cheek, teasing him for remembering such silly things, things she didn’t even really realize about herself. Because he also noticed how she always puts her right shoe before her left one, and how she always picks the green vegetables out of her curry croissant and eats them all at the end of her meal. Really, there’s little Urbain doesn’t notice when it comes to Harmony.
“You sound like an overly attentive boyfriend when you say it like that!”
More laughter bubbles out of Harmony; an unpretty sound breaks from Urbain’s lips as his cheeks flush to a deeper red. It’s really not like that! He’s just being a good friend who pays attention to his friends! Because he dos this with all of his friends! Not just with Harmony!
“No! I just—It’s not—I mean—I also know Naveen will spend his Friday nights locked up in his room at the hotel, watching Canari streams until he passes out because his grandmother nags him about it if he does it at home! And he also hates the sound of people eating crumbly cookies! Just makes him gag! And Lida! Her favorite color is actually orange but she pretends it’s blue to go with the whole water aesthetic since she moves like water! And she’s wickedly good at making pancakes and is actually the one who taught me how to make them extra fluffy!” Urbain hates how pitchy his voice is and how hot his face feels. “See? I know stuff about all of you guys!”
The giggles die down, being replaced by a soft smile as Harmony leans back against his arm. She’s so close, her fingers tightening around the many layers Urbain is wearing. She’s so pretty with her kind eyes.
“I know, I know. I’m just teasing you.” And she’s so warm; Urbain has almost forgotten about the snow and the cold breeze as they come to a stop by the water. “You really are an amazing friend, Urbain. To all of your friends. You’re just… You’re wonderful. And…” Her eyes are downcast and her voice has dropped to a near whisper; Urbain can barely hear her from the way his heart is pounding. “And you’re really important to me. I hope you never forget that or doubt it. Because you are. You’re everything to me.”
Urbain’s heart has to stop being stupid. It has to stop flipping in his chest’ he’s going to die at this rate. He’s going to die if Harmony looks at him like that again, through her lashes, her cheeks pretty and rosy. She’s going to kill him as he reaches out to her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Urbain will not make it as his heart hammers in his chest.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Most definitely.”
It’s stupid. Urbain is stupid. He is incredibly stupid. He’s doubting absolutely everything, but he’s also acting recklessly. Why the hell is he acting this way. Why is he turning to the girl and cradling her cheek? Why is he looking at her lips, taking in the way they shimmer from the gloss she reapplied right after defeating the Slowbro? Why does he feel so nauseous?
“Urbain, you good?”
“Peachy.”
She’s perfect. She’s beautiful. She’s his best friend. There’s nothing in the world Urbain is more about than that statement: Harmony is his very best friend. She is his best friend and he hopes she’ll remain his best friend until their next lifetime, even if he messes up big time. Because he’s bound to mess up. He wants to mess up. Urbain just know he will ruin everything.
Her breath is warm, or maybe it’s just the freezing temperature that’s got Urbain more sensitive to the heat. Her cheeks are burning under Urbain’s icy fingertips. Everything feels like it’s on fire despite the snowflakes that are dancing around the pair, sparkling in the sunlight.
“Harms, I…”
“Yes?”
Say it. He has to say it. If he doesn’t say anything, he will explode. And that is absolutely not the way Urbain wants to die. He has extensively thought of possible ways for him to go, but exploded-because-of-too-many-feelings is definitely not one of them. There are thousands of less embarrassing ways he’s conjured up, and those would be way more his speed than this. Urbain cannot die because he couldn’t bring himself to talk to a pretty girl.
Or maybe he doesn’t need to say anything. Maybe he just needs to act on it. Maybe he needs to get his brain to stop malfunctioning for half a second and do something about his heartbeat that’s going a mile a minute. Maybe he just needs to get a grip on himself. But at the same time, what is he supposed to do? What can he do when Harmony is standing there, looking so gorgeous, her head ever so slightly tilted? What should he do as everything inside of him melts at the sight of snowflakes clinging to her hair, making her seem even more ethereal than she already is? What is he supposed to do to as her lips stay parted, her eyes heavy lidded? What is he allowed to do as her hand finds its way back to the collar of his jacket, her grip tightening as their noses purposefully brush together?
She’s so close. She’s so ridiculously close, he can smell the vanilla sweetness of her lip gloss. She’s so close, Urbain might go mad if he doesn’t close the distance right this instant. But if he does, if he acts too rashly, will he not be ruining everything they have built up until now? What id he really is reading all the signs wrong? This isn’t exactly a language he’s fluent in.
“Harms—”
Urbain is going to smash his damn phone to pieces. No, he’s not, but he will curse it and its ability to start ringing at the most inconvenient of times. It has to stop blaring that generic ringtone that makes him jump as Harmony stumbles back. Because if it wasn’t for his damn phone, then maybe Harmony would still be close instead of taking a few steps back as Urbain scrambles to answer the call. Or at least, maybe if he had put it on silence, then he could have let Harmony have his—no. Now that’s utter nonsense.
“Hello?”
“About time you answer!”
Emma’s voice comes through, sounding more exasperated than Urbain has ever heard her before. He can’t help pulling his phone away from his ear even if he knows she’s still talking, no, lecturing him, but he needs to see his screen. It is only then that he understands the reason for her exasperation: 15 texts over the course of half an hour flash across his screen, all left unread. And as he presses his phone back to his cheek, ready to ask Emma about the reason for her call, she’s already scolding him about ignoring her, given that she has very important things to do.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Emma! I was just busy and didn’t realize you were trying to contact me!”
“Well,” she huffs, but at least she’s not scolding him anymore, “I don’t much time anymore, so hurry up and get to the Bureau. I need you here asap.” Another deep breath; her voice is back to its calm and quite soothing tonality. “I have many things to look into later, but I would really appreciate getting this done before sundown.”
“Did you find anything?”
“We’ll talk about it when you get your ass over here.”
Urbain sighs. He hears the cutting edge of her smile in the way she curses; it’s become quite a good indicator of when she’s particularly stress. He can hear her smiling through her teeth, trying her best to keep a professional composure despite their years of knowing one another and not needing that level of formality anymore; he can tell from her delivery that her stress levels are through the roof. She’s obviously freaking out about something, but it’s clearly unrelated to this case; it’s been dead for weeks now, without a single hint of a lead poking through the mist. There’s no way her stress is related to Urbain’s case, unless she’s discovered something terrible.
“I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”
The phone beeps in Urbain’s hand; Emma has disconnected the call. Harmony is staring at Urbain; her expression is unreadable, but still, Urbain feels his heart shatter. The air is sucked out of his lungs at the sight; he wants to fix everything right this instant.
It’s dumb, reaching out to her again. He’s stupid, extending his hand towards Harmony’s face, wanting to bring her back to where she had been just moments ago. He’s stupid and heartbroken as the girl pulls away; Urbain doesn’t insist. He just lets his hand fall to the side, settling where she will allow him to touch her. Really, he can’t complain; her arm will do.
“I’m… I’m really sorry, Harms. I just…”
“Go.” Her expression is still undecipherable, but her tone gives way to a hint of forgiveness. “It’s fine, really. Don’t keep Emma waiting because of me. I promise,” she pats the hand that’s still resting against her arm, “I’ll be just fine. I might get to sit with the Pokemon and feed them for a bit while you’re there.”
Urbain’s brain must be short-circuiting. It’s been doing that all day, after all. He’s been acting like an absolute idiot since the sun first rose. Urbain being an idiot is the only explanation he can come up with to justify his actions; it’s the only reason he can possibly think of as he pulls his scarf off and wraps it around Harmony and pulls her close. He’s finally lost it. He’s officially gone insane as she lets out a squeak and crashes against his chest. Urbain has gone completely mad as he presses his lips to her forehead, holding her close and whispering into her skin.
“I’ll be right back, Harmony. I’ll be back as soon as I can, and we can continue exploring the park together, I promise. I promise I won’t be long.”
---
“I’m here! I’m here!”
This time, Urbain can blame the icy streets as he skids and tumbles through the door of Looker’s Bureau. Emma is sitting at her desk, her brow furrowed, as her door swings open and a boy crashes through, nearly eating dirt but thankfully catching himself before his body collides with the ground. He might be late, but it’s only two minutes! She will forgive him for two minutes of tardiness, right?
“Didn’t bring your girlfriend with you?”
This time, Urbain can blame the freezing temperatures outside for the red in his face. And he can blame the fact that he ran here. His face is flushed because it’s cold and he’s exhausted; it has absolutely nothing to do with Emma’s unnecessary comment, or Harmony herself. Not that Emma was even referring to Harmony! Why would she be referring to Harmony, a girl who most definitely is not Urbain’s girlfriend! Because Urbain doesn’t have one of those! He has never—
“I—She’s—We’re—She’s not my girlfriend!”
“And yet you know exactly who I’m talking about.”
Emma chuckles lightly to herself as Urbain plops his body down across from her, in one of the chairs she’s set up for clients. Her eyes have drifted back to her computer screen, her fingers flying across her keyboard, but for the split second where she was looking at Urbain, for the brief moment where she was laughing at him, she looked a lot younger. Or maybe she looked her age before returning to her adulty façade.
“Why’d you even call me here, Em?”
Urbain can’t be too hopeful, but maybe she’s finally found something. Maybe there’s finally a lead, something having come up after months and months of searching. Maybe, please, she’s about to give Urbain some good news. She has to; he needs it. Why is Emma looking at him with such a defeated look?
“How much longer do you want us to keep looking for this mystery person, Urbain?” There’s a pause. Urbain wants to protest, tell her as long as they need to, but his voice is caught in his throat. “Because honestly, it’s been weeks—scratch that, months since our last lead which led to absolutely nothing.” She sighs, a sound that causes something nasty to flare up in Urbain’s chest. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been trying. I really have been, Urbain, but there’s just nothing.”
A surprised screech echoes through the room as Urbain pushes himself off his chair, slamming both his hands down onto the desk. “No! We can’t just give up!” His gaze falls onto an unfaltering Emma before drifting to the side, to where Mimi was once sleeping but is now glaring at him. “I can’t…” His body feels heavy as he falls back into his chair, his nails digging into the palms of his hands. “Not if this is the last piece of my mother… Of the only family I know…”
He’s not going to cry. Urbain swears he will not cry. Not in front of Emma, not in front of anyone. He’s too old to be crying; only little kids cry when they don’t get things their way. And he’s not a little kid. He hasn’t been a kid in years. Not since he left his mother. Not since he lost her. Not since she left him. Maybe he never really got to be a kid, having grown up far too quickly. Regardless, he will not cry, even if his eyes sting.
“Look,” Emma leans closer to Urbain, patting him on the arms as she’s done a million times before to comfort him, “I get it. I know what it’s like to want closure with parents, but sometimes you just kinda end up forgetting about them. You forget what they said, what they look like, and what they sound like.” Urbain shakes her off. His eyes burn as he glares at Emma who has thrown her hands up defensively. “Which I promise isn’t a crime! But I think it’s finally time to bury this case—”
“I’m not burying anything!”
Emma’s hands shoot up again. Urbain is knocked back into his chair before he can even get up again; Mimi is screeching again, making those angry noises at him from the sidelines. It probably doesn’t want Urbain disturbing it with a loud sound again. So he just sits there, heavy and glaring. And definitely not crying.
“Sorry, sorry, poor choice of words.”
“Emma.” Her name tastes like venom in Urbain’s mouth; how did he get so furious with her? “I am paying you to search, so do your damn job and find something. We’re going to find this person whether you like it or not and I will be getting my answers about my mother. So don’t you dare tell me to quit.”
Emma sighs. She and Urbain have gone through so many similar experiences, and yet, they couldn’t be any more different in the way they handled their situations. He just can’t wrap his head around how uncurious she is about her own parents. She has all the resources and the brains to find something about them, and yet, she focuses her energy on other people. She seems content with the memories she has, but that’s all. She doesn’t crave more like he does. And he knows she doesn’t have the fondest of memories of the people who put her in this world, that she rather let them fade away, but still, Urbain doesn’t get it. He cannot, under any circumstance let his mother die a second time. He cannot lose her more than he already has.
“Fine.” Emma clicks her pen as she pulls out a brand new notepad. She looks defeated and tired, but she can’t refuse the money Urbain has been bringing her. “Then take it from the top again. Try to give as many details as you can remember. Maybe we missed something.”
---
Everything smells like chemicals. It’s a sharp smell that has Urbain covering his nose as he walks through the revolving doors of the building, but the burn quickly fades away after a few deep breaths. His lungs fill with the smells of disinfectant as makes himself small against the walls; this has become his weekly routine. Urbain is far too used to the rushing of doctors and nurses, all hauling patients around as the boy quietly makes his way to the fifth floor.
It used to be scary, making his way through these giant hallways all by himself, but he’s used to it now. He knows the maze by heart: it’s on left at the second intersection, then a right before arriving to the big elevator door. Then he’s to wait exactly 38 seconds if he’s all alone, and the door should open to the fifth floor where he’s supposed to be. He knows the layout of this hospital better than he knows how to navigate his own school; he spends more time here, after all. And at least here, the staff recognize him.
“Hi, Ms. Erika. Is my mum in her room?”
The nurse at the station smiles sweetly at the boy. “Not yet, sweetie. But I’ll let you know as soon as she’s done with the doctor so you can spend time with her, okay?”
Urbain hates it when the nurses call him sweetie, but he just bites his tongue and smiles instead. He’s too old to be called baby names, but he doesn’t want to cause trouble. And he doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by telling them to stop calling him silly names. So he sucks it up and gets as comfortable as he can in one of the chairs in the waiting area, plopping his backpack next to him and pulling out a worksheet. The sooner he can finish this homework, the more time he’ll get to spend with his mother.
The minutes stretch into hours. Urbain feels his eyes grown heavy as he scans the page of a textbook again. Words blur together, but he needs to absorb them. He needs to memorize the contents. How else is he going to get a good grade? Because he needs a good garde. If he doesn’t get a good grade on his test, then his mother will worry, and if she worries, then she’ll have to go to the hospital again. And Urbain absolutely does not want to be the reason his mother is sick again.
“No! I can walk just fine on my own!”
“Ms. Lucille, please—”
“I’m not a helpless child! You’re all blowing this out of proportion!”
Urbain perks up at the shouts. A grin stretches across his face as he hurriedly shoves all of his books back into his beat-up bag. He doesn’t even zip it all the way shut before running down the hallway that leads to his mother’s room; she’s finally finished with the doctors for the evening!
“Mum!”
He knows he has to act more maturely. He has to act his age, after all; he’s a teenager now, not a little baby. He’s 13, and 13-year-olds don’t run down hallways, excitedly calling for their mothers. Actually, according to the other boys at school, mothers are actually the most uncool people in the world and they should be completely ignored, even if they’re dropping their sons off in the morning or packing them the best lunches Urbain has ever seen. Mothers are the bane of a teenage boy’s existence, but Urbain can’t bring himself to ignore his mother, no matter how much he wants to fit in with the other kids. He could never ignore the woman who turns to look at him, her smile weak yet so bright.
“Hey, baby.”
Urbain is careful to not hurt his mother as he hugs her. Her body is frail and delicate, even if she refuses to admit it. He knows that everything hurts, but he also knows that his mother is a fighter. She will fight until she’s standing and healthy again, something Urbain deeply admires about his mother. She is, after all, his hero. There really isn’t anything she cannot do.
“How were your test? Did the doctor say everything is okay? Can we go home tonight?”
His mother looks sad as she places her hand on Urbain’s shoulder. She looks sad despite her smile; he knows she’s faking it. Urbain has gotten really good at telling when she’s faking a smile, smiling through the pain, but he knows better than to point that out to her. She’d just assure him that she’s peachy, that this is all just one big misunderstanding, and that it’s nothing a little bit of rest can’t fix. So Urbain bites his tongue and smiles instead. He does that quite a bit.
“Everything is normal. I should be out of here in no time and we’ll get to do everything you’d like.”
Urbain also knows that’s a lie. He knows his mother will not be leaving this hospital anytime soon, at least not permanently. Even if they do manage to go home, Urbain knows better than to expect her to stay home for more than just a few days at a time. It’s always a matter of days before they’re back in the emergency room, doctors swarming around as Urbain waits in the same uncomfortable chairs for hours on end. He knows this cycle isn’t going to end any time soon.
“But enough about me!” Urbain watches as his mother tucks a strand of thin blind hair behind her ear. “Tell me about your day, baby. You had a test, didn’t you?”
The boy nods as he helps his mother back to her room. He smiles brightly at the nurse who looks absolutely defeated; he doesn’t protest when Urbain loops his arm with his mother’s, steadying her as they slowly make their way down the hallway. If anything, he looks relieved as the boy mouths a thank you to him.
“Yeah. I think I did okay.”
“Just okay?” Blue eyes fall on Urbain, eyes filled with worry. “Did you not have enough time to study?”
Urbain shrugs, but he’s unable to look his mother in the eye. He had more than enough time to study, and he really did try his best, but the notions just weren’t sticking in his brain. And, not that he would ever tell her, but it’s really hard concentrating with all the monitors beeping around him; it’s even harder concentrating on the paper in front of him when all he can think of is the way his mother is surrounded by hospital personnel.
A kiss is pressed to his hair, a kiss that pulls him back to reality. They’ve made it back to his mother’s room; Urbain eases her onto the bed despite her insistence that she can manage it herself, that she's still a young woman in her prime. And she is, sort of. She is still quite young, younger than most of Urbain’s teachers; he knows for a fact that she is far too young to be in the hospital this often. What is a 33-year-old woman doing here anyway?
“I’m sure you aced your test, baby.” She folds her legs under her body, sitting in a way that Urbain knows would have the doctors cringing, but he can’t tell his mother what to do. “You’re so smart and disciplined that I’m sure you could become a doctor in no time.”
She grimaces as the words leave her mouth; Urbain can’t tell if it’s because she’s in pain again or if it’s because of him. Because, again, his mother is young. And she had him when she was even younger. And knowing how young she was, knowing that she chose to have him when she had her whole future ahead of her, Urbain can’t help but wonder from time to time if she resents him. Does she hate that he ruined her plants? Ruined what could have been? Does she blame him for what’s happening to her? Is it his fault she’s always in the hospital?
“Mum?” Urbain scoots closer to his mother; she hums as she closes her eyes. “Did you want to become a doctor?”
The snort that comes out of her startles Urbain. He’s never heard that kind of sound come out of her, and he hopes to never hear it ever again. It sounded like she was dying, or perhaps just choking on something; she is absolutely not supposed to make a horrific sound like that.
“Nah, I’d never want to be one of those bastards. Requires way too many years of schooling and way too many non-stop hours.”
“But you’re still in school And you’re always at the university. So, what’s the difference?”
Urbain knows what the difference is: his mother would have finished her PhD years ago has she not had a child to care for. And she would be home far more often if she didn’t need the extra income to feed and clothe him. There’s no doubt about it: this is all Urbain’s fault. It’s all his fault that she’s in the hospital now. It’s his fault she’s so tired that she has hurt herself.
“Hey.” Urbain cuddles closer to his mother, letting her arms wrap around his shoulders. Behind closed doors, no one needs to know that he’s still a big baby. No one needs to know that he loves his mother. No one needs to know that he desperately needs her. “Everything is gonna be alright. But I want you to promise me one thing, okay, Urbain?” He can do that. For his mother, he will promise anything. “I want you to promise that you’ll always follow your dreams. Even if you think they’ll make me mad. Even if I disagree with them and tell you not to. I don’t ever want you to let me slow you down, okay, sweetheart? Never stop following your dreams.”
---
Urbain hums as he stirs the contents of the pot. It’s nothing fancy, but he knows it’ll put a smile on his mother’s face; curry is her favorite, after all. Or at least, that’s what she tells him every time he makes it. And though he knows that she’s constantly lying to him to make him feel better, she can’t possibly be lying about this. Why would she? She only truly lies when she’s assuring him that she’s perfectly fine.
“Dr. Howell said stress is bad for you.”
His mother looks up from where she’s sitting. Bills are scattered across the kitchen table, messy piles haphazardly made here and there. And Urbain knows what she’s doing: she’s trying to figure out which ones she can get away with a late penalty and which ones absolutely need to be paid. She’s trying to buy time with the smallest number of consequences possible. She’s trying to force every puzzle piece together, but it’s driving her insane. It always has, for as long as Urbain remembers. Now, though, he has learned how to take those pains away.
She doesn’t even fight him as he pushes the papers together into a neat stack. She just stares at him, stares at him with that blank expression she’s been sporting more and more as of late. Her eyes are dull and hollow, nothing like the jovial mother Urbain had once knew; it was scary at first, the transition into this shell of a woman, but he’s grown used to it. He knows that this is just what his mother looks like now.
“I still have to pay the bills.”
“I’ll take care of it.” Urbain tries to smile at his mother, but she doesn’t react. The smile quickly drops as he makes his way back to the stove. “Tell me about your day.”
A bitter laugh tumbles out of her mouth as she rubs her eyes. Urbain doesn’t always know what’s going through his mother’s head, but he knows that more often than not, it’s his fault. He doesn’t dare ask her what it is he did to put her in this state, but he knows he’s the one who has caused this. If he had never been born—
“I wish you could just be a damn fucking kid sometimes.”
Urbain recoils at the words. His mother never cusses, at least, never around him. He knows she does a lot of things she tells him not to do when he’s not around, that he should do as she says, not as she does, but what his mother does in her spare time is none of his business. She knows what’s best for her son, because that is what he is: he is her son. He’s not allowed to tell her to watch her language or to put down the glass of liquid poison. All he can do is keep his head down and make himself small when she throws a fit; that’s a lesson he learned very early on.
“It’s not fucking normal that my kid is acting more like a parent to me than my own fucking mother did!”
Tears scream down her face, her blue eyes already puffy and red, and all Urbain can do is watch from a distance. He just stands there, staring; as a child, he used to rush to her side, calling out to her, sobbing because he was terrified of the noise, but that had never helped the situation. If anything, it would just make things worse; he’d be shoved aside, told to go to his room, as she would scream into her pillow. So Urbain quickly learned to distance himself when she’d be in one of her moods, making himself small and quiet. Now, he just watches her quietly, giving her nothing more than the reassurance that dinner is almost ready and that they’d figure something out.
Her sobs slowly calm; she’d left hiccupping and sniffling after a few minutes of screeches. It’s just enough time for Urbain to scoop the contents of his pot into two bowls, carefully placing one next to his mother. A smile blooms, crinkling the corners of her eyes as she accepts the fork her son is handing her. She smiles as she places her hand on his arm.
“Please don’t worry about me, baby. I’m okay. See?” Urbain just watches her face, watches how she forces her smile to reach her eyes; he knows damn well that she’s faking it, giving him one of those fake smiles she offers doctors or anyone who looks at her with pity in their eyes. “I’m totally fine. I’m just…” She squeezes Urbain’s arm, but he doesn’t react. He keeps his breathing steady and his gaze glassy. “I love you, baby. I love you so much. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, you know that?”
Is he, though? Is he really the best thing that has happened to her? Is he not, in fact, the worst thing that has happened to her? Without him, she could have been a doctor. Or whatever it is that she’s studying to be. She could have been some grand inventor that could have changed the world! Instead, she’s stuck taking care of him.
Urbain nods at his mother. She loves him. His mother loves him. And he loves her. He loves her more than anyone else in the world. He loves her so much. To the ends of the Earth and back. To the moon and back. To the sun and back. He loves his mother, even if he doesn’t understand half of the things that are running through her head most of the time. He loves her, even if he doesn’t know what to do to make her feel better.
“And—” Urbain lets himself be pulled close; he lets his mother press a kiss to his cheek, but he doesn’t smile. He just lets it happen, unsure of what he’s feeling at the moment, or if he’s feeling anything, really— “I hope you never remember me the way I remember my mother. Baby, tell me you know that I love you. My baby, my brightest star, my sunshine, promise me you won’t ever forget me.”
There’s so much going through Urbain’s head. He wants to scream and cry. He wants to make a scene, tell her to stop talking like that. He wants to let it all out, everything he’s been bottling up for months, but his body doesn’t let him react. Not a single tear blurs his vision as he looks at his mother, at this woman who seems so small against the old wooden kitchen chair. He feels nothing as he nods, pulling a real smile from her.
“I promise, mum.”
---
Urbain’s heart is racing. His mind is completely blank. His fist curls around the neatly folded paper he’s picked up when he first walked in. And he stares. He stares at what’s before him.
He’s too late. He didn’t make it in time. His gut told him to go home sooner, but he didn’t listen. And now he’s lost it all. There’s no one left to love him. He’s alone. Urbain is completely alone as he turns on his heel.
His hands are shaking as he pulls the apartment door closed behind him. He needs to leave. He needs to get out of here. He can’t come back. Ever. If he stays any longer, they’re going to question him. If he stays any longer, he’s going to be forced to talk to someone about what he just saw. If he stays any longer, his life is over.
One train ticket. The last bill in his wallet is swallowed by a machine that spits out a piece of cardboard. Thankfully, his mother gave him a bit of money that morning, before he left for school, before she left him. Why did she leave? Why did she do this to him?
The air is still. It’s eerily quiet too. It’s too quiet. It’s so quiet that ever creak has Urbain jumping in his seat, covering his mouth to muffle the sobs that threaten to break out. Every little sound has his heart racing; what if they’re already looking for him? He swears he didn’t do anything. He swears he didn’t know. He couldn’t stop her. He didn’t stop her. It’s his fault. It’s always his fault. If Urbain had been a better son—no. If he had never been born, then none of this would have happened. If he didn’t ruin his mother’s life, she’d still be here. If he wasn’t cursed from birth, she wouldn’t be dead.
Soft hands. Little hands that hover. Careful hands that dab at the wound with a tissue.
Blond hair. Long blond hair. Hair that had been tied into pigtails until the elastic snapped.
“It’s okay! Here! Let me make it better!”
A kiss. It’s so gentle. It’s so careful. It’s tentative and loving. A kiss is pressed to a scrapped knee. A kiss is left in the place of pain. Is that all it took for her tears to stop blurring the child’s vision?
“Harmony!” The girl perks up at the sound of name, looking away from her friend. “Harmony, honey! Are you hurt?”
She sniffles as her father rushes to her side, falling to his knee. His hands are rough, nothing like the soft hands that had dabbed at the blood. His hands are big and rough, but Harmony doesn’t dare pull her leg away. She just watches as he fusses over her; he’s always fussing over her? Is that what a father is supposed to do? Harmony assumes so given that it’s all she’s ever known, but when the other child asked her what it was like to have a dad, Harmony didn’t know how to answer. Her dad is just her dad, after all.
“Taunie, what happened?”
Big blue eyes fall to the ground. The girl twists her body, unable to look at the man. She twists and pulls at her fingers. She can tell him. She can trust him. Harmony wants her friend to trust her dad because he’s a good dad. And Harmony loves her dad so much.
“It’s my fault, sir. We were playing and I run into Harmony.”
Is he mad? Harmony has never seen her dad get mad, except that one time she had wandered off in the grocery store and had gotten lost. He was furious when he finally found her in the bakery section, her face pressed to the glass of the cake display. He was so angry.
“It’s not her fault! Taunie didn’t do anything bad!”
The man sighs as he gets up. He’s mad, isn’t he? He shouldn’t be mad at Taunie. Taunie is too nice to do anything bad. And she’s Harmony’s best friend! And Harmony loves her best friend!
“Please just be more careful when you play, alright girls? Harmony, honey, give me a second. I’ll go get a bandage and then you two can go play again. Just,” he runs a hand through his hair, “be more careful, please.”
Both girls nod. They can be more careful. Harmony promises to try not to fall, but everyone knows that she will fall again. She is, after all, horrendously clumsy. Especially when she’s playing with Taunie. With Taunie, she can’t help tripping over her feet as she chases the girl up the slide or the ladder. With Taunie, she can’t help but forget where she’s putting her feet; with Taunie, Harmony just wants to be next to her best friend.
-------
“I always wondered what happened to that little girl.” Harmony sighs as she reaches out to the ceiling, stretching her arms before falling against her boyfriend on the hotel’s communal couch. A soft kiss is pressed to her cheek as arms wrap around her middle, pulling her closer. “We had so much fun, but then she just kinda disappeared.” Harmony contently hums as more kisses are pressed to her cheek and ear. “Like, poof! No more Taunie! No more best friend! And no more Torchic plush! I hope she at least got to keep it since she liked that toy so much.”
Harmony can barely remembers the child’s face, but she still remembers how big and blue her eyes were. She still vividly remembers how much she adored playing with the girl, and how she always had the wildest imagination. Giggles bubble out of Harmony as she recalls the way her mother had yelled at the two girls one night when they were supposed to be asleep, but had stayed up playing under Harmony’s blanket. It was a short time, but Harmony still holds such fond memories of that year.
“Did you have any childhood friends that you lost touch with, Urbain?”
The boy stares at her. He’s staring, but something about him is off. His lips are parted, but no words are coming out. And his eyes, those big blue eyes that are normally so sharp, they seem hazed and unfocused. What’s wrong with him?
“Taunie? Her name was Taunie?”
Harmony nods. Sure, it’s a pretty unusual name, but she also knew a girl called Thalassa, so it’s not that weird. And her mother was a little weird, so that’s probably why she gave her daughter such a unique name.
“Was she blonde? With blue eyes?”
Harmony nods again. Weird questions to ask, but maybe the world is smaller than she thought. Maybe, by some stroke of luck, Urbain’s crossed paths with this girl, given that he seems to know everyone in the world. And maybe he’d be able to tell Harmony how her childhood best friend is doing, if for whatever reason he has met her.
“And she arrived later in the year, like at the end of the first semester?”
“Maybe? I don’t remember? Urbain, why are you asking such specific questions?”
The boy has shifted, forcibly turning Harmony towards him. He’s staring at her again, staring with an intensity she’s never seen in him. Even when he’s focused on a task, even when he’s locked in or pissed off, he’s not like this. And never has he hurt Harmony before now; she has to shake him off, prying his fingers out of her arm.
“Was her mother in her mid-20s?”
“Urbain, I have no idea! Why are you asking all of this?”
His hands fall to the side; he pulls at his fingers, picking at his chipped nails. His chest is rising and falling at an unnatural pace, his breath ragged as if he had just run a marathon. And his eyes, they’re hazed over once more. What is wrong with him?
“I… Taunie. Her favorite color was sky blue. And she despised the skirt uniform and always tried to get away with wearing either the pants or the shorts. And you two used to climb the tree in your backyard until she fell out of it and your parents had to rush her to the hospital because they thought she broke her arm and her mother couldn’t bring her. It’s that Taunie, right?”
“Urbain, what the fuck—”
“You would share snacks at lunch despite the teacher always scolding you, and you promised to be best friends forever. You promised, but then she moved away to Galar and had no way of telling you because you had left for the summer with you parents by the time she knew she was leaving.”
Is Harmony having a stroke? Urbain is talking about so many things that are slowly coming back to Harmony as he unlocks the vaults containing all her childhood memories, but there’s no way for him to know any of this, unless she’s already told him about it. And as far as Harmony is aware, this is the first time she’s bringing any of this up. Most of the things Urbain is mentioning is things she had long forgotten about, actually.
“Harms, if it can make you feel better, she did keep that Torchic plush. It was her best friend—her only friend—for the longest of time. And it was the one thing that kept her from wondering if she hadn’t straight up made you up. Harmony, I… I still have that plush. I still have it somewhere in my stuff.”
“What?” He still has it? “Babe, I’m not following. What are you talking about?”
“My mom… The move was abrupt. I didn’t know about it until a few weeks before we were already on a plane towards Galar. My mom had gotten an offer from a university and we couldn’t afford for her to be picky about where she would work. So we packed everything up and we were halfway across the world. And I… Harms, I never got to say goodbye to you. And I was so miserable. And I thought of you every single day, constantly asking my mom when we’d go back.”
Crystal tears cling to his lashes, tears Harmony wipes from his big, beautiful sapphire eyes. And his hands are soft, always so soft as he places one over hers, pressing her touch into his cheek. His hands, they’re soft yet so strong. He’s always been so strong. Stronger than Harmony. So much steadier than her too.
“Urbain…”
“Y’know, my name is still legally Taunie on a couple of documents.”
Taunie… Urbain. It’s her; it’s him. They’re the same person; Harmony has found her best friend, even if she hadn’t realized it at first. The little girl that she always wondered about, she’s the boy Harmony is kissing now. Her beloved Urbain, he was once little Taunie who loved playing princesses and pirates with Harmony. Her adored Taunie, she grew up to be the handsomest boy Harmony has ever laid her eyes one.
“You’re… you’re her—him—Urbain!” Harmony crashes against his chest, knocking him over as her arms wrap around his neck and they fall back into the couch. “It’s you! You’re… Holy shit!”
Laughter fills the air as she clings to her boyfriend. The world really is tiny; who would have guessed they’d both end up in the same city over a decade later? Or maybe it’s destiny; maybe Harmony was meant to find Urbain, even if she lost track of him for a few years. Maybe she was meant to love him, all of him, every version of him. Especially the version of him who is holding her tightly, pulling her into his chest.
“I’m pretty sure I have a picture of myself before I hacked all my hair off with kitchen scissors.” A kiss is pressed to Harmony’s cheek. “If ever you wanted to double check or—”
“I believe you. Babe, I believe you. I… Holy shit.”
Harmony buries her face in his chest. She believes him. She will always believe him; she’s promised to always trust him. For as long as Harmony remembers, she has trusted Urbain. She’s always trusted that he would catch her when she inevitably falls. Because with Urbain, Harmony knows she will fall over and over again. With Urbain, she can’t help tripping over herself as her eyes fall onto him. With Urbain, she can’t help but forget where she’s putting her feet; with Urbain, Harmony just wants to be next to her best friend and the love of her life.
