pinned #about post for mobile, will be edited often (ā¹ā”ā¹)v
this is a mess tbh lol but hiii iām bea, adult from the ph, uses they/them pronouns. multiple interests, small list of fandoms i have been in (some ancient ones of which u may still expect*) below
~2025 current fixation is DR STONE lmfao. lol. LMAO
*(tumb has always been a mixed bag so idk whatever The Dash throws at me)
some of u may know me as coleen but iād prefer to be called bea now! ifĀ we knew each other back when i was active hereĀ and maybe wanna get back in touch, feel free to dm here or on twt!Ā <3
to friends i met on twitter fandoms (2017~onwards), hi lol this is the same tumblr iāve had since i was like. 15 or 16 so idk just take this [handwaves towards a decadeās worth of posts] as it is haha ><
this is mostly for me cos i go for months without opening this website and i always forget how i generally tag my stuff so, @ me:
u have a ā#liveblog tagā
tag non-anime shows with the format: "show: (xxx)", abbreviate if so applicable; tag everything else (movies, games, animanga, etc) with its whole title
tag animanga/non-english ips with their english language romanization as much as possible. don't abbreviate
tag kpop as such: <"grp abbreviation" "grp abbreviation: member name initials">, ie, "#nct #nct: hrj"
one day with ample free time re-tag ships with custom otp tags but for the meantime just tag as letters etc, or with "otp"
if unsure w anything, tag "to fix"
tag video and audio posts!
genshin tag: simply, "genshin impact"
mxtx stuff: "#mxtx, mxtx: (xxx)" [a lot of this to fix LOL cos i don't have the energy to fix all my mxtx reblogs now but yeah follow this format, and also your jc & wwx tag is "prides of yunmeng", and don't tag individual characters anymore]
I have a sinking feeling about Qifrey and where his story is headed.
MASSIVE spoilers and maybe slightly long-winded theorizing below the cut.
I believe quite certainly that Qifrey intends to reveal the complete truth to Olruggio very soon, and that while he seems to be accepting his fate, he is trying to maintain as much control over the terms of his inevitable end as possible.
Following the events of Chapter 88, after he reveals his nature as a Silverwood host to Coco, he asks to postpone his complete confession, wishing to be able to reveal the truth elsewhere, in a peaceful place beneath a wide open sky where his roots would have room to comfortably grow. He has described the land around the atelier in this way many times before.
Later, when the entire group is finally reunited and Olruggio tells Qifrey theyāre going home. Qifreyās expression looks pained for a moment, before he answers, āAlright then. Let's go home. Our atelier awaits."
His verbal recognition of the atelier as his home is a rather glaring signal that he is beginning to accept his imminent end and has chosen the atelier as his ideal final resting place. This is hinted at early on in a sequence during which Beldaruit spoke to Riliphin of the Silverwoods, and implied that he knew of Qifreyās condition as he privately worried that his beginning to think of the atelier as his home could be dangerous for him.
At a point during their journey home, we return to the group to find the girls all asleep, while Qifrey has distanced himself from the rest, sitting on the bank of a lake to write in his book. Olruggio joins him and points out how far heās sitting from the fire.
I think this was probably intentional in an effort to be closer to the lake to keep himself anxious, since it is my personal theory that here, Qifrey is actually writing a letter to Olruggio in which he tells him the entire truth, and that the narration through the next arc is comprised of excerpts from that letter. The lake is intended to be a failsafe of sorts, since of course, we know that vocalizing the truth to Olly is Qifreyās greatest comfort trigger, while water touching his skin is his biggest anxiety trigger. Given this, it makes sense for him to choose this particular spot to begin to release the truth so he has a means of keeping the Silverwood at bay readily available should he need it, which he evidently does later on.
In the segments that follow, Qifrey reminisces on how he and Olruggio crossed paths at the Great Hall and became close.
Through the end of chapter 91, we watch the story unfold neutrally as though it is happening in real time, with no narration, but in chapter 92, something shifts. As soon as Qifreyās recount reaches the part of the story that would have been lost to Olruggioās memory, a past-tense narrator voice begins to cut in, and suddenly, it becomes clear this story is being told to someone, not merely recalled, and not just to anyone, but to Olruggio by Qifrey. This is the strongest evidence that what weāre reading is actually the contents of a letter to Olruggio.
All of this indicates to me that Qifrey is not just reminiscing, but is actively preparing for the end. The telling of the story, the physical and emotional distance Qifrey has put between himself and the others, and his now repeated framing of the atelier as both home and the kind of place where he would want to be forever, are all supportive of that.
As far as we know, Qifrey hasnāt been the one to initiate a full confession since they were kids at the Tower of Tomes. Spilling his guts in a letter written under duress is probably a new tactic, and itās a smart one, as it ensures Qifrey can get the complete truth out on his terms without the usual interruption from the Silvertree.
We also know that Qifrey would rather die than have his transformation hurt the people he loves, so at this point, I wouldn't put it past him to leave the letter at home where the others will find it before going off to trigger his transformation alone, or waiting until the others are gone to trigger it.
This is what has me especially worried for him now, because Olruggio and the girls just left the atelier, leaving Qifrey there by himself. Maybe I'm projecting (probably), but the thought of Qifrey leaving a note and then going off to essentially kill himself makes my stomach hurt. Painfully though, it does feel in character, especially now that he's vocalized his trust in his students, particularly Coco, to carry on his mission. Olruggio, please go home now, your husband is an active danger to himself!!
Fortunately, Hiehart and Jujy pay the atelier a visit, but even upon greeting them, he does already seem on edge and uncharacteristically down.
Hopefully, whatever Hiehart has to say will get Qifrey out of his head and convince him to keep living for a little while longer. I'm guessing he's going to ask Qifrey to take on Jujy as his apprentice. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Anyways. To conclude, here is Qifreyās directed narration/possible excerpts from a letter to Olruggio compiled:
Every day I turned my gaze away from the encroaching dread, and for as long as I was in the dark, I was happy. I greeted each morning with excitement, for with the rise of the sun came another adventure with you. I thought if I could retrieve the past I lost, my joy would be as genuine as yours, and perhaps I would have a real chance to share in your happiness. A child can dream. Like ordinary boys, we would share our visions of tomorrow with each other and we would laugh at how far away it all seemed.
Little did I know that felicity came with forgetting. It was a bliss born of ignorance. If I knew what I wasā¦ If I knew that I was never meant to be saved, I would've stayed far away from you, the skyās kindest, most radiant star.
I once read an old poem that likened stars to boats sailing through the sky. But as far as I know, boats donāt twinkle like stars. The light doesnāt come from the vessel itself, but its guiding torch. Like your pyreball, it burns at the bow. A beacon of light in the dark.
After that fateful day, you would uncover my secret again and again. Each time you would respond with disbelief. Then your face would twist and turn in anguish. And after biting back a few words, you would show me grace, and comfort me and forgive me for lying to you. And then, without fail, the Silverwoodās roots would grow. You would offer me the same path back every time, and I would take it, adding to my mess of sins.
I had often considered leaving your side. I thought that perhaps traveling alone would save me from taking away your memories. But even that minute solace was enough for the Silverwood. I knew then that distance would do nothing but break my promise to you.
So I had another thought: A master never wants for worry with apprentices to look after. The selfishness behind my reason for taking on pupils made me ill, but theyād never have to know that. So I decided to put every fiber of my being toward becoming a good educator. If only I had known then what a joy it truly is to watch your students grow with each passing day.
Itās somewhat rare for a Silverwood to take root in people. Unlike animals, they tend to hold onto too much anxiety. Which is why the tree planted in Custus that gave him his legs raises some questions. My right eye was the only one to sprout during the experiments. It must have some connection to the Silverwood in Custas. For so long, I thought I was the only host, but now I'm not so sure. There could be more victims out there than I ever imagined.
Did I make the right choice?
Would it have been better to throw everything aside and hunt down the brimmed caps?
Doubts like these turn in my head, but the moment I see my atelier, I remember.
This is where my heart is. This is where I want to be.
The time has come to make your voices heard. Our Interest Check is now open
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfX1SIxUjvauB2NhjhUp7NcCF1foBTIx5fTEeVN9553d8Fbpg/viewform?usp=dialog
Oh, Kinsmen! We must meet the common foe;
Though far outnumbered, let us show us brave!
When Freedom is threatened, Mondstadt answers!
Will you heed the call and join the rebellion?
strangest circumstances to vocalise a love confession
- in the middle of the night, slipping out of Aās mouth with none of the usual urgency, without Aās control or permission, just a simple declaration of fact, shocking B but leaving A strangely uncaring of the consequences should B not return the sentiment, because Aās love does not hinge on reciprocation but rather exists as a solid, philosophical truth. A loves B. B is loved by A. Mutuality will matter in the morning, under the light of day, but for now, eyelids heavy and mind sleep-drunk, the sole statement of being is enough.
Fullmetal Alchemist Gaiden/Side Story- Nagaiyo/Long Night by Hiromu Arakawa
I know I reblogged a post of this story once, but I could not find it in my tags and it was very hard to find it via google (but I did!). It was also never officially translated or made available in the US. So I decided Iād just do a new post and properly tag it.Ā
This is a very sweet and heartwrenching little story everyone should have a chance to enjoy. These kids are the best family.
Fanart for Homuncular Nature by @otaku553.; a fmab x genshin crossover fic that I discovered (probably) November of last year. It had nine chapters at the time, and I read it backwards forwards and inside out so many times that I've lost count. Its probably the main thing that lead me to actually watch fmab with my friend this summer, though we're slow at it, but that's just been giving me time to go insane and read and take notes on a probably insane amount of Wikipedia articles.
Funnily enough, HN updated a little over last week for the first time since well before I was reading it really recently, meaning that me and my friend are somehow still outpaced by it. Which is just so surreal and it keeps making me laugh.
In the notes of the most recent chapter there was mention of fic fanart, and I've always admired them but never really thought of me doing it, so I just kind of thought- why not? I drew the chalk arm break scene because I couldn't really not, even if it was a bit of an obvious choice.
I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the annotations but my mind was fixed on what Ed and Al would be thinking, and I wanted some way to have both a visual representation of all the evidence flashing through their heads as well as the connections between them, though that was more just implied with proximity. Its really clear that its made by the same person who made my fmab conspiracy doc, but it is so I guess that just has to be okay.
Around the eyes they're... a little unclear, but the fic has put a really big emphasis on Albedo's eyes, and, intentional or not, when combined with the fact that he literally has alchemy circles in his eyes, and the emphasis that his eyes are the key to how he's feeling/reading past his faƧade just feels so damning.
