🦁lioncircus🎪 @lioncircus - Tumblr Blog

Hiii 🦁🌈🎪🎉

My primary art and personal blog is @maxpawb

my name is maxwell/max/ari, this is my side blog/diary for talking abt my life, documenting travel/study, sharing doodles and photos, and complaining ♡

You will probably mostly see posts where I complain about my chronic pain or talk about stuff happening in my life because this is my diary. sometimes i also post about my interests which mainly include furry art, milgram, and perhaps other things like project moon and furbys etc.

#lionclowning #pinned post

Ohh okay. I didn't realize it could get even worse but it did. I cant live here anymore. And the process of moving again is going to be miserable but it has to be done. And then ill have to go back to the US and live with my mom which will also be miserable. I kind of expected that to happen anyway but I didn't expect this current living environment and the other person im currently living with to suddenly become so incredibly unstable and unsafe to be with . Maybe i should have expected it. Well. Okay . Okaaayy.

#lionclowning #ventposting #everything is going badly and i am afraid #and i just have to keep living and get through it anyway #okayy

PARAPARAPARIRA... 🎉🌈

#lionclowning #amane....AMAANEEEE

im not gonna be home when amane music video drops because im gonna be at the psychiatrist talking about my autism diagnosis WHAT THE HELL

#lionclowning #the irony here is that milgram has been a special interest/fixation of mine for 5 years now #and amane is one of my absolute favorites

i just got my autism and C-PTSD+dissociation officially diagnosed/recognized for the first time yay

#lionclowning

I finally got to try the elusive pink sprinkle sandwich today. Life is beautiful guys.

(The cream is really good but unfortunately the aftertaste is just like chocolate bread and not super pleasant. Overall worthwhile though and very happy to finally find it)

#lionclowning #food #photo

I've been having migraines almost every day again lately for some reason.... I listened to an audiobook of Klara and the Sun in two 4 hour sittings ... its such a beautiful book and dear to my heart.

#lionclowning

dermatillomania

(content warning for depictions of self injury & blood)

#art #dermatillomania #excoriation disorder #(content warning for depictions of self injury & blood)#vent art but ok 2 rb!!

stuffedsand

for his birthday i measured the nuis purity of heart.

throw down shidou gets: EXECUTION

triage shidou gets: to live another day

#I really like this #shidou kirisaki

slowly catching up on really overdue commissions feels so relieving... i wish i could have gotten more of them done this week but even some progress is better than none

#lionclowning #it feels like i totally wasted my days off except for today bc ive been frozen doing mostly nothing due to on and off anxiety #but today was a really good day. i got to see friends for the first time in a while which was really nice

Just 30 minutes ago I was pacing in circles on the brink of tears but now I feel absolutely nothing. All over again. Why . Why is this all happening. When will it get better please god

#lionclowning #ventposting #vague

Haha I thought the crisis was taken care of and getting better but today I learned it's gotten worse. And there's really nothing I can do.

#lionclowning #ventposting #and it's triggering/reminding me of when my brother tried to do the same thing #I had forgotten entirely about that #vague

Imsooo strong medication withdrawals is nothing to me (guy who successfully didn't throw up at school today)

#lionclowning #ventposting #emeto #emetophobia #@my classmate friend if ur reading this that's why I may have been acting dismissive or weird this afternoon lol

does anyone know if the pain ever ends lol

#lionclowning #ventposting #im beginning to think it doesnt #ive already gotten used to the headaches since i was young #and now the joint pain since its been years #but somehow even just 3 weeks of stomach pain has gotten me adjusted to thinking that this is just part of the norm now #and also realizing that ive always had stomach problems anyway but just havent been aware of it because it wasnt as bad before

o_O I just realized I think the reason I have been feeling so sick for weeks is that I haven't been taking my meds at consistent times anymore bc I was skipping school bc I was going through a traumatic event and that means I've been in and out of medication withdrawal which is why I've had stomach pain and bathroom struggles for weeks now <- he has already made this realization twice in the last week and subsequently forgotten. The cycle continues 🚲

#lionclowning #ventposting #I'm so nauseous and shaking and going from hot to cold #yyyaaaay

My creation.... more to come once I get more supplies and also actually figure out how to do the adjustment mechanism and length correctly lol

#lionclowning #photo #crafts #collar #trans

Sometime in 2023 or 2024 my mom threw away almost all of my childhood artworks (excluding my sketchbook collection from ages 8-13). Which really hurts my heart because it feels as though my memory and my life was stored and preserved in those works and now they will never be recovered. I wonder how many memories I'll never get back. Evidence of my existence and how I saw myself and the world, all lost. Because as a child I struggled immensely with words and never kept a journal or wrote stories or anything. It was all drawings. And I wish I could get them back. But I have to accept it.

I asked why she didn't take pictures of them all before throwing them away and she said it "didn't occur to her"

#lionclowning #ventposting

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