purveyor of niche aus

twiae, she/her! not a minor!

[dogsdayilya]

Loyalty (1869)

— by Briton Rivière

Loyalty (2025)

— by Ilya Rozanov

[lesbianrozanov]

toddler shane refusing to talk after his hockey team lose a game. yuna & david are trying to be encouraging like “bud!! you played so good!!” and shane is ignoring them while climbing into his car seat where he’s going to angrily drink his juice box and then chew on the straw.

[rabbittush]

He’s had a rough day…

[px41]

It's june

[snaillesnaille]

streets and sodium lights

[lavenderprose]

To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.

[russianblush]

#happypridemonth

[dishvnored]

I was never with you.

[lionleonora]

seeing a lot of really valid takes about how horrible Bear is to Nikki, how he forces her into a situation where she’s trapped in a body and desire she doesn’t want, and how he refuses to let her escape it. i really agree with those takes.

but did anyone also see it as a representation of bpd? maybe it’s just me, but the desperation of having the “favorite person” love you, the mood switches, the fear of abandonment - i totally thought that was what was happening.

i even thought that the moments where Real Nikki broke through that it was a sort of moment of clarity - someone with bpd going “wait a minute, this isn’t what i want, this isn’t me, i don’t want to be like this.” that maybe on an allegorical level, his was a person with bpd allowing a relationship with a favorite person to become romantic even though that’s not what they really want.

and of course Bear, who is deeply depressed and isolated, is drawn to the idea of obsession and complete devotion. he’s fine with it, for a time. it doesn’t make what he did better, though - if anything, it makes it worse. two deeply unhealthy people using each other as coping mechanisms.

idk, i’m not a bpd/depression expert. what did other people think?

[kuviraissues]

not your nikki

[ticklefighthockey]

the real fantasy of heated rivalry isn’t that the hot cocky sex god will fall in love with the uptight socially awkward virgin… the real fantasy is that you can be sooooooo fucking annoying & avoidant & allergic to intimacy and someone who is securely attached will nevertheless doggedly pursue you, make you feel your feelings, and then marry you

[theereboseffect]

rewatched taskmaster series 7

[ticklefighthockey]

go away hollander! we are not anything! guy who can't even look at shane in case shane does his shane eyes at him and ilya is FORCED to kiss him about it. that would ruin his whole brooding phantom of the rink act he cannot risk it

[shaneybby]

#hislingerie

[zombofgreenz]

Uninfished Harry sketch

[montrealmetros]

i feel like the first few months to a year of being in a fandom im usually like trying to stay closer to canon and live in the canon universe before i branch out into AUs and i can now feel that shift starting to happen for me in heated rivalry. like lets make them astronauts lets get weird with it

[scarymonsters-andsupercreeps]

I’ve had enough

[lavenderprose]

Things that are ACTUALLY in the Shane Hollander Mic'd Up compilation that we all wish we could watch through the portal:

- "Hey, how was your summer? Good, good."

- "Mic'd up. I'm mic'd up. Don't."

- "Have you ever been to Greece? Told Ilya I would ask you."

- "What? No, man, he didn't say that. He said he was gonna get your ass. Yeah, man, he only fucks one ass. Yeah, I mean, I would say fuck you too but--"

- "Heeeey, davai, davai. Great assist. Hah, no, don't come closer, I'm mic'd and you know I don't trust you."

- "The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal--"

- "HEY MATHESON. You ever been to Vegas? I said, you ever been to VEGAS? I hear they let the good hockey players go there in the summer but I feel like you wouldn't know that."

- "FUCK. Hey, ref, what the fuck was that? Oh, you didn't see that? Fuck you. No, you stay there, my husband's gonna talk to you--fuck you, put me in the bin then, this is bullshit--"

- "You have the smelling salts? Yeah. FUCK--"

- "I am mic'd. Remember I am mic'd. Nope, not even in Russian."

- "Oh, yeah, the pickle video was funny. Harris said it got a lot of views, so. Yeah, no, he actually really does love pickles that much."

- "Sinclair, you got something to say? Yeah, I'm better at hide the pickle than you are at hockey. You want to ask another stupid question?"

- "You know, I run a charity too. Oh, I just assumed that you were doing some kind of Make-A-Wish thing out here with your wingers, since it looks like this is your first day on the ice."

- "Oh, hey, look. Jackie and the kids are waving at us. Okay. Okay, Rozanov, that's enough."

- "Mic'd. Mic'd. Mic'd."

- "Hello Hockey Night, welcome to my husband's shoulder pads--" "Fuck OFF, Rozanov."

- "Great goal. Great goal. Lyublyu tebya. Yes, baby, you did that."