I got a notification a few days ago that I've liked over 200 posts. I only ever like fics; so what better time to compile a list to keep track of all the fics I've read and love.
Worldwide Handsome signing off his live after his historic performance as the first Korean soloist to headline a solo concert at Londonâs O2 Arena (250805)
I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM
đ 18+, minors do not interact âą masterlist âą submit a request
đš minors and blank blogs will be blocked
after a career drought full of dead end positions, you finally land a job you can be proud to include on your resumeâprestigious company, room for growth, and most importantly, a salary that will allow you and your boyfriend, soonyoung, to breathe a little easier. what you donât expect is the discrimination and vitriol youâre met with on the job. as office life gets harder and harder for you, soonyoung finds it increasingly impossible to sit back and watch you repeatedly get hurt like this. so he dusts off a mask he never thought heâd use again, and when your colleagues start dropping dead one by one⊠well, thatâs none of his business.
â« i did something bad taylor swift
pairing: ghostface!soonyoung x fem!reader
wc: 23k đ€š
tags: horror fic (kinda not really), scream fic, established relationship, alternating povs, normal (used loosely lol) lovers to crazy psycho lovers, screenwriter!soonyoung, corporate slave!reader, âhe hates everyone but herâ trope except make it âhe hates and brutally murders everyone but herâ â(ïżŁăïżŁ;)â
a/n: the platinum blonde spiky hair ghostface soonyoung brain rot had me in a chokehold. this all started just bc i saw a gifset of him looking soooo early 00s fuck boy pop star and immediately my brain was like âghostface hoshi.â so here we are. i do watch horror but like. iâm here for a good time not a critical time LOL. i am no expert on horror movies! i just like watching the more digestible ones, and if there are inconsistencies with the reasoning for becoming a killer or the relationship between killer and lover of killer or how realistically easy it would be to catch the killer⊠well, just pretend there arenât :) iâm just trying to eradicate this ghostface hoshi brainworm :) so enjoy it :) or donât :) this is more for me than anyone else :)
warnings READ ALL OF THEM!
content: murder⊠obviously (it wonât be overly gory, but it is described, so be careful. it wonât be anyone in svt), heâs a psychopath (again⊠obviously), blood, knives/stabbing, torture, domestic violence (not between mcs), traumatic brain injury, misogyny, daddy issues, eh mommy issues too why not, male use of the word âwhoreâ and âbitchâ against a woman, workplace harassment (bullying, hazing, finance tech red pill bro culture), sexual harassment in the workplace (inappropriate comments, sexualization of reader by male coworkers, etc. but no physical sexual assault takes place), no physical description of reader but sheâs called a diversity hire by her harassers (whatever makes her diverse can be up to you), murdered people could possibly share names with idols idk but if they do, thatâs a coincidence bc these are just random names, protectiveness to insane levels, possessiveness, codependency, jealousy, toxic and unhealthy relationship, reader is also crazy
smut: marked at beginning and end if youâd like to avoid, unprotected piv, creampie, roleplaying (kinda? like, is it roleplaying if theyâre roleplaying as themselves but one of them doesnât realize itâs themselves?), squirting, kink exploration, mentions of bondage, mentions of blindfolding, mentions of choking, mentions of degradation, mentions of knife play, light breeding kink, shower sex, oral (both receiving), face fucking, fingering, uh horniness supercharged by murder so⊠whatever tag that is, dirty talk except make it about murder, honestly donât look at me
đïž a portion from an early draft of the script for cult classic horror movie, âadoration,â by renowned screenwriter kwon soonyoung
IN AN APARTMENT
a man (jake) dressed in a disheveled suit returns home late at night presumably from work, though from his mannerisms, he seems drunk.
he takes his jacket off and lets it fall to the floor. he is grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge when his phone rings. the number is private. he declines it. when it rings again, he fumbles to hit the right button for several seconds but eventually answers, swaying drunkenly as he does.
JAKE hello? (he hears loud breathing) hello? (no answer) who is this? (hangs up and mutters to himself) fucking weirdos.
his phone rings again, and he watches his cell vibrate on the counter. he closes the fridge door and answers the phone, obviously ready to yell at whoever it is, but he is cut off by a raspy male voice.
PHONE STRANGER hi, jake.
jake freezes, too flustered to speak.
PHONE STRANGER oh come on, donât be rude. where are your manners? this is where you say hi back. go on, try it.
JAKE who is this?
PHONE STRANGER thatâs too easy, donât you think? and too easy is never any fun.
jake seems to deflate, his exhaustion too potent to argue with a stranger. he hangs up once more. the phone rings again. he answers it in an almost violent fashion.
JAKE leave me alone!
PHONE STRANGER hang up on me again and iâll take that pretty, little butcher knife (jakeâs eyes dart to the knife block on his kitchen island. camera changes focus to knives) and run it down the entirety of your torso until the floor is slick with your blood and organs.
jake looks around the apartment, understanding there is a large chance he is being watched.
camera angle changes to a shaky shot farther away from around the corner in a dark hallway, suggesting whoever is watching is already in the apartment with him. goes back to jake in kitchen.
jake inches forward, wrapping his fingers around the very same knife he was just threatened with.
PHONE STRANGER hiding it wonât help you, jake. and neither will using it. i promise.
jakeâs fingers immediately let go and he takes several steps back in horror as he realizes he is definitely being watched.
PHONE STRANGER good boy! (sounds genuinely excited) so you do listen after all. now. letâs start over. hi, jake.
JAKE hi. (voice cracks, clears his throat) what do you want?
stranger clicks tongue in disapproval.
PHONE STRANGER jake, jake, jake. didnât we talk about manners already? (jake inches toward the front door, stranger laughs) eh, i probably wouldnât go that way if i were you. (jake freezes, eyes flitting around the room wildly) what do you want to try next?
camera briefly shifts to a dark corner closer to jake now. goes back to kitchen.
JAKE who are you?
PHONE STRANGER my name is hoshi. (jake is very obviously surprised) didnât expect me to tell you my name, did you? thought iâd keep that a secret? you donât have to ask either; thatâs my real name.
JAKE why?
HOSHI why what?
JAKE why are you telling me your name?
HOSHI well, it doesnât matter if i tell you my name. itâs going to die with you anyway.
jake quickly takes the phone away from his ear and begins to dial the police. being drunk, he mistypes several times.
HOSHI i wonât try to talk you out of that. someone needs to find your body after all. i do want people to know youâre dead. i want her to know youâre dead. that youâre never going to hurt her ever again. so by all means, call the police. but i assure you. they wonât come in time.
JAKE (in a shaky voice) yes they will.
HOSHI no. they wonât. and you know how i know?
jake finally gets the call going, phone automatically putting hoshi on hold.
HOSHI i know because youâre a dumb ass and you never even put me on speaker.
camera focuses on jakeâs face front on as his eyes widen and he freezes. audience hears dispatcher answer the line.
DISPATCH what is your emergency?
hoshi appears behind jake in a white mask, face contorted into a permanent scream, and a black tattered robe. audience hears a squelch as jakeâs mouth falls open in pain and he stumbles. his phone falls out of his hand, ending the call.
camera angle switches to side view, where audience can see a hunter knife buried in the middle of jakeâs back. hoshi slowly slides the knife out of him, letting him fall to the floor, where heâs immediately crawling away.
hoshi makes no move to follow him yet. simply watches him kick and struggle to stand.
HOSHI i knew you were dumb, but i didnât realize you were this dumb.
he slowly walks after him, watching as jake pathetically tries to make it to the front door, blood trailing behind him. he crashes into most of his furniture as he stumbles past.
hoshi reaches him and kicks him in his stab wound, causing jake to fall back to the floor, screaming in agony.
JAKE god, why?! WHY?!
HOSHI question of the night, huh?
JAKE (sobbing, turns over and pulls himself away enough until heâs slouched up against the back of his couch) i donât even know who you are!
hoshi squats down in front of him, forearms on knees, eye level. he keeps his bloody knife threateningly close to jakeâs face.
HOSHI but i know who you are. oh man, i know exactly who you are. iâve heard all about you, jake. more than i shouldâve ever had to hear about you.
jake sobs harder as hoshi runs his knife gently across his neck, leaving his own blood on his skin.
HOSHI you couldnât just be the quiet coworker who came to work, minded his own goddamn business, and went home, huh? you had to be the red pill loser.
JAKE (weakly) whatâŠ? i donât⊠huh?
HOSHI you hurt her, jake. and when you hurt her⊠well frankly, you hurt me. and i donât let anyone get away with hurting me.
JAKE whoâs âherâ?! who are you?! i donât even know what youâre talking about, dude. please! please! i promise i wonât tell anyone! iâll do whatever you want! iâll give you whatever you wantâjust let me live!
hoshi doesnât say anything for several seconds. resembles predator watching prey. when jake starts blubbering and begging, he sighs.
HOSHI what if what i want⊠(tilts his head menacingly at him) is for you to die⊠(wipes his knife along the length of his sleeve, cleaning it of blood) an incredibly slow and painful death? hm? what if thatâs what i want? will you still give it to me, jake?
JAKE i donât get it, please, i donât get it. who are you? what do you want?
HOSHI god youâre a fucking moron, i literally just told you what i fucking want.
he drives his knife into jakeâs thigh. when he screams, hoshi backhands him to shut him up.
several seconds pass as jake tries to catch his breath.
JAKE why are you doing this?
hoshi removes his knife from his thigh, just to plunge it into his abdomen. jake doubles over, blood spilling past his lips.
hoshi lets go of the knife, leaving it buried inside jake. he tries to reach up and remove it, but hoshi gently presses a single finger to the hilt. jake screams and lets his hands fall away. hoshi removes his finger.
HOSHI (casually) honestly, itâs kind of futile explaining this to an idiot who gets off of shitting on women.
jakeâs breathing is labored as his screams subside.
HOSHI (comically scratches his head) like, how do i even explain love to a greasy little incel like you?
JAKE (incredulously, while stuttering) love?
HOSHI yes, jake. love. you know, itâs so funny. i really, really hated that word for most of my life, and then⊠one day that just⊠changed, i guess.
JAKE youâre killing me because⊠you love⊠me?
HOSHI (sputters/laughs) what?! are you fuckingâwhat?! (backhands him again) i canât even fathom how fucking stupid you are! what the fuck? (jake groans) no, you jackass, how could anybody love you? youâre like shit on the bottom of my shoe. (mutters again) what the fuck?
JAKE i donât get it.
HOSHI (sighs) i know you donât, dimwit. thatâs why iâm not going to bother explaining why youâll die tonight. youâll never understand what itâs like to love someone the way i love her. i fucking adore her.Â
he watches jake carefully, head tilting to the other side like heâs studying his looming death. or enjoying it.
HOSHI and jake (just barely skims one finger from where the blade disappears into flesh, up the hilt of the knife) one thing about me?
jakeâs eyes go up to meet the black holes in the mask, breathing coming out in short gasps now.
HOSHI my adoration is killer.
without warning, hoshi grabs his knife once more, other hand holding jakeâs shoulder down as he pulls the knife up his torso with alarming force. he makes good on his promise to cover his floors with his own blood and organs.
your life has become a sad routine of miserably crying monday through friday, suffering an emotional hangover on saturdays, and spending the entirety of sunday shaking with anxiety over the mere thought of having to go back to work and do it all over again the next day.
your job, for the most part, is predictable. you expect to come in and endure catcalls, unprovoked insults, glares, and lewd gestures all before you even reach your desk. you expect to have your workâas flawless as you know it isâridiculed and mocked, just for someone else to copy it word for word, claim it as his own, and receive endless praise for it. you expect your boss to sheepishly shrug and tell you boys will be boys and to be a âteam player.â you expect to be told youâre useless, youâre just a diversity hire, and all youâre good for is something nice to look at.
as the only woman on an all-male, all-asshole team, you expect pure torment.
what you donât expect is to be corralled into the company auditorium with hundreds of other employees first thing in the morning, where youâre all informed that jay, the psychopath you share a cubicle with, was not just playing hooky and skipping work like you and all his buddies assumed, but that he âtragicallyâ passed away earlier this week. youâre in a daze as they tell everyone grief counseling is available and that those close to jay can take bereavement effective immediately if they have to.
what you also donât expect is to return to your desk, google his obituary, and be met with several articles detailing a gruesome murder that took place in his apartment building. jay isnât directly named, but you donât need him to be to know itâs him. the executives were too dodgy about the announcement of his death for this to be about anybody else.
your eyes scan over words like âstabbed,â âbloodied,â âscreams,â âripped,â and âspilled.â the journalist describes it as the most grisly homicide to take place since the âprank call killingsââeven goes as far to make connections between jayâs murder and the string of deaths that took place years ago, in a small town not far from where you are.
both involved victims with multiple stab wounds.
both were indicative of a frighteningly large hunting knife with unique serrations used as the weapon.
both ended with the torsos being carelessly cut open down the middleâwhile the victim was still alive.
the one difference is that police found no evidence of calls made to jayâs phone before his death.
this begs the question: after nearly a decade, has the prank call killer made their return, or has a copycat ascended their throne?
the closing line sends a chill down your spine, but youâre not sure it feels bad.
in fact, thereâs one last thing you donât expect that comes of today: as you turn in your seat to look at jayâs desk, exactly how he left it, you find that you donât feel horrified about his death. contrarily, you find yourself feeling relieved. elated, even. and thatâs what horrifies you.
as the team that housed jay, your boss releases you all from work for the rest of the day, some for the whole week. not you, thoughânever you. you are expected to return first thing in the morning to begin sorting through jayâs work and figure out where you can fill in and what you can split amongst your coworkers. but you know that wonât be happening; no one on your team would lift a pinkie to help you even if you were on the floor dying. everything jay left behind will be your responsibility now, not that thatâs much of an issue. the man was already pawning all his work to you anyway.
âbaby?â
soonyoungâs voice filters through the noise of the coffee machine as you close and lock the door behind you. a head of blonde, spiky hair pokes out from around the corner. your boyfriendâs eyebrows are raised, mouth puckered into a cute, surprised o.
âhey, what are you doing back?â he asks as he completely exits the kitchen and walks around the corner. his hands are immediately pressed against your forehead and neck when he reaches you, eyes running up and down your body like heâs checking for injuries. âare you okay? do you have a fever? are you sick?â
you donât even have the energy to playfully slap him away and roll your eyes like you normally would at his overly worried behavior. you just shake your head slowly.
âwhatâs wrong?â he mutters, letting his hands fall to snake around your waist. soonyoung watches you so closely and so attentively, you almost swoon enough to forget why youâre so distraught.
âiâŠâ
soonyoung doesnât urge you to speak, patiently waiting for you to find the words you want to use. you shake your head again.
âjayâs⊠jay is dead?â you announce, sounding unsure and confused even though itâs literally just a fact now.
soonyoung snorts. âthat would be a dream. how would he die? whatâs the most satisfying way to imagine it? hit by a bus? fell into an open manhole? choked on aââ
âno,â you interject, gripping his forearms and squeezing. he moves to let go of you but you keep him where he is. âheâs actually dead, soonyoung. like⊠dead dead.â
he raises an eyebrow, still obviously hesitating. âokay, i want to say youâre joking⊠but your use of my government name is telling me youâre notâŠ?â
âiâm not!â you insist, slapping his arms away now.
âhey.â he pouts.
âwhy else would i be home right now?!â you point out. âpark told us to take the day off.â you toe off your shoes and push past soonyoung, further into the home you share. âsomething about grieving.â
you go straight to the couch, flopping onto it face down.
âoh my god?â your boyfriend murmurs in a daze as he follows you, brows furrowed into a deep frown.
he sits on the small sliver of couch youâre not occupying, automatically arranging you so that youâre laying face up against him between his legs. his arms find your waist once more.
âwhat⊠what happenedâŠ?â he asks, obviously trying to tread the topic carefully. he knows how much you hated jayâhell, as your biggest supporter, he hated him too. but for him to die? youâre full of complicated feelings. âis that why heâs been skipping work?â
you nod. âand itâs not just that⊠park and the other execs didnât say this, but⊠i looked up his name to see if i could read the obituary.â
âmmm,â he hums, nodding. âtracks for a nosy girl like you.â
ânot the time!â you whine, already pulling away. he tightens his arms around you, keeping you from moving.
âokay, okay! sorry! iâll be seriousâi swear! iâm sorry!â
you huff and relax against him once more.
âso you looked up his obituaryâŠâ he encourages you to continue, voice lower as he tries to be seriousâa feat for him, honestly.
âi⊠i think jay was murdered.â
you whisper the words without meaning to, like youâre scared of giving life to them. like if you say them loud enough, the prank call killerâor their copycatâwill come bursting through the door and shred you and the love of your life into ribbons of blood and flesh.
soonyoung remains quiet and you can almost hear the gears in his head turning as he tries to find the correct thing to say. you bet heâs trying to scour his brain for anything that isnât an inappropriate joke.
âmurderedâŠ?â he asks in a small voice. âwhy⊠howâŠ?â
you rest your hands over his on your stomach, pressing even further into him as you retell what you read.
a victim was found in his own apartment, stab wounds to his back and left thigh. it was clear he was attacked in his kitchen and that his assailant let him make it halfway to his front door⊠before they cornered him against his own couch. then, they gutted himâfrom lower abdomen to sternum, where his bones wouldnât give any more way for the knife. they didnât name him. they didnât even describe his appearance. all they said was that he was 28, and he lived alone.
but you knew, and from the way you spoke, you were confident soonyoung wouldnât question you about it. he was good at trusting you and believing in you.
âthatâs⊠fucking barbaricâŠâ he breathes out after you recount the story. âi mean, the guy was a fucking asshole, but⊠thatâs⊠i mean, itâs⊠iââ
âi feel happy.â you blurt out the words that have been brewing in your head since you left the office.
to his credit, your boyfriend has taken most of this information well despite the poorly timed jokes. but at this new revelation, his entire body tenses against yours, and you immediately regret being honest.
âyou think iâm a monster, donât you?â you ask quietly, ready for him to gently remove you from him. to admonish you. maybe even leave. âyou thinkââ
âi donât think youâre a monster.â
he says it with so much conviction, you believe it the first time he says it. soonyoung repeats it anyway.
âi donât think youâre a monster, baby. please donât say that. iâm just⊠surprised. i mean iâm definitely not mourning the guy, but i know how these kinds of things can upset you.â
you know heâs referring to all the times news headlines made you cry, or the times bleak documentaries pushed you into a weird episode of feeling like there was no meaning to life and everything was pointless. youâve always been easily affected by the world around you, so itâs fair for him to be surprised that being this close in proximity to a victim of such inexplicable violence doesnât send you straight into a panic attack.
âhe just⊠he made my life so hard, soonie,â you say, not expecting the tears that fill your eyes. your voice cracks on your boyfriendâs name and he immediately rests his lips against the crown of your head and whispers his love for you.
âi know,â he says after heâs told you he loves you at least a dozen times. âtrust me, i know.â
soonyoung actually knows best because heâs the one whoâs picking up the pieces when you come home broken and inconsolable. heâs the one who calms you down enough to explain what happened this time.
jay purposefully knocked your coffee over a report that took you a week. jay took credit for a project you were forced to collaborate with him onâa project you ended up doing all by yourself. jay was telling everyone you were a ditzy bimbo that couldnât do her job right. jay went out drinking with the boss and spent the whole night talking shit about you. jay wouldnât stop trying to convince you you were only hired because you had a pair of tits. that those tits are all youâre ever going to be worth.
heâs the entire reason the team is the way they are around you now. heâs the one who emboldened them to treat you the way they do.
and day after day, week after week, for almost a year now, soonyoung has had to endure all your rantsârants that were exactly the same because you didnât know how to stand up for yourself. the only thing you knew how to do was âbe a team playerâ in the hopes that you could find a promotion into another team or even better, a new job altogether.
being the best boyfriend there is, soonyoung never complained about your venting. even on nights he had to abandon the latest script he was working on, even on days he had to call in sick to the writersâ room because he had insisted on staying up until the sun rose, consoling youâhe never complained or even hinted that he was tired of you. not once.
even more meaningful to you, he never chastised you for being unable to find the strength to speak back or enforce your boundaries, something you were already plenty embarrassed about. he never made you feel less than; he knew you already had enough of that from the men in your work life.
soonyoung was the gentleness and softness you craved and needed so desperately in your life. he was safety and love and warmth and he was what continuously healed you as your job tried over and over again to break you.
he knew all of this. he knew how much you hated it and how much you hated jay, and it comforts you to know that he doesnât think youâre a monster for being happy heâs dead. it gives you the courage to be even more honest with him.
âiâm relieved,â you tell him, wiping away your tears. âiâm so relieved heâs gone, and that itâs over. that maybe now⊠maybe now, iâll be safe.â
his hold on you tightens and he leaves more kisses in your hair.
âand⊠i feel like a terrible person saying thisâŠâ
âwhatever it is, youâre not. so donât.â
itâs the push you need.
âiâm glad he suffered,â you admit, feeling lighter as soon as itâs out of your mouth. âiâm not just happy he died⊠iâm glad he died in the most heinous way. and iâm glad his killer made it hurt.â
once the words are out, you canât take them back. and soonyoung doesnât make you feel like you should. after a few seconds of silence, he just sighs and leans forward to kiss your cheek.
âthen i am too, baby. if youâre happy, then iâm happy.â
he says it like you didnât just tell him the grossest thing youâve ever said in your life. and when you look up and catch his reflection in the window opposite of you, unbeknownst to him, you find him smiling into your hair almost like heâs pleased with you. you believe that he really is happy when youâre happy.
and honestly, you love him even more for it.
âi love you, soonie.â
âi adore you,â he says, his favorite way to express his affection for youâeven moreso than âlove,â though he learned to return the four-letter word once you expressed how important it was to you. âendlessly.â he pauses briefly before promising: âiâll love you forever.â
it takes just one week, when everyone returns from their bereavement, for you to realize you arenât safeâthat jayâs death just put his friends on edge and made them more dangerous than ever. that for some fucked up reason, they felt that torturing you was the best way they could keep their sick friendâs memory alive.
and it makes you wish they were all dead too.
đïž a portion from an early draft of the script for cult classic horror movie, âadoration,â by renowned screenwriter kwon soonyoung
as hoshi stands over his bed, clean of the blood he shed just hours ago and watching his girlfriend sleep, a montage of traumatic events from hoshiâs childhood begins flashingâswitching between his memories and their bedroom until his memories win out.
FLASHBACK
a very young hoshi screams as he throws his tiny body against his fatherâs uselessly. his father has his hands around his motherâs neck, choking her mercilessly.Â
YOUNG HOSHI stop it! stop! get off my mommy! (begins punching but makes no headway) stop! please!
DAD you think i wouldnât hear about you coming around to that dead beatâs house under the guise of asking for sugar, you fucking whore?!
YOUNG HOSHI please! mommy!
hoshiâs father removes one hand from his wifeâs neck to shove his son aside. hoshi stumbles several steps before falling and hitting his head on the corner of the table and blacking out.
memory moves to hoshiâs recovery, when he is back home with a bandage around his head. blood blooms on the back of it. he is freshly woken up, in his pajamas, and his mother is changing the dressing on his injury.
there is something eerily blank about his face.
MOM (in a hoarse voice) let me know if it hurts, sweetheart.
YOUNG HOSHI okay. (pauses in what seems to be thought, though his expression does not change) will you let me know if it hurts too?Â
camera follows his gaze, focusing on the bruises around her neck. his motherâs hands still on his head before she continues in silence.
hoshi does not urge her to answer him, his eyes almost glazing over as he stares at her bruises. his mother finishes up changing the bandaging.
MOM you donât worry your cute, little head about mommy, okay? in factâ
she pauses to put the medical supplies away into the first aid kit resting on the nightstand and smooths her dress before crouching in front of hoshiâs bed. she takes his hands in hers.
MOM mommy doesnât want you interfering like that ever again, okay? (hoshiâs face remains blank as he meets her eyes now) when you hear daddy or mommy shouting, i want you to stay right here, in your bed, with the door shut and locked, and i donât want you to come out until i come get you, alright?
YOUNG HOSHI am i in trouble?
MOM no, no sweetie. youâre not in trouble. but daddy will be home soon. in the next day or so. and mommy needs you to be safe and healthy, so will you promise me that youâll stay out of it?
YOUNG HOSHI why does daddy hurt you?
MOM daddy is⊠heâs sick, sweetheart.
YOUNG HOSHI if someone is sick, is it okay for us to let them hurt us?
despite hoshiâs blank stare, his mother recognizes this will be a pivotal moment that informs the way her son sees the world. she blinks rapidly as her thoughts go into overdrive and she tries not to cry.
MOM (whispers) no. (she pauses, shaking her head and quickly wiping away her tears before returning her hand to hoshiâs) no, itâs not okay. you donât let anybody hurt you, sweetheart. not you. no one hurts you.
YOUNG HOSHI why do you let daddy hurt you?
MOM i⊠i love him, hoshi. i love your father. and he loved me once too. maybe he will again. but either way, i will still love him. he gave me you.
hoshiâs blank stare breaks at this, like the idea of any part of him being from his father bothers him. like he realizes he might be the only reason his mother stays with his father.
YOUNG HOSHI you love him⊠(his mother nods) i never want to love someone then.
memory moves years forward, when hoshi is 17. they remain in the same home, but messier and much sadder. colors are cooler than the past warmer memories audience has seen before.Â
hoshi is seated on the edge of a bigger bed now, in the same position as the previous memory, this time without his mom.Â
hands grip the comforter tensely. works his jaw anxiously as he stares, expressionless, at the door.
sound is muffled as camera zooms in on door. audience hears high-pitched whining sound as shots quickly flash between the door, hoshi on the bed, and the blood that spread on the floor from his head injury when he was young.
the whining gets louder as all the memories that flash now focus on young hoshiâs traumatic brain injury (blood, his mother screaming, blood, cops, stitches, bandages, blood, blood, blood).
the sound comes back full volume as the flashing comes back and stops on his closed room door.
MOM iâm sorry! iâmâ
his motherâs pleas are cut off with her own scream as the walls shake and boom with the force of her body being thrown against them.
hoshi relaxes his fingers and smooths the comforter where he wrinkled it. he stands calmly, making his way to the door. his hand hovers over the locked handle.
flashes back to his conversation with his mom.
MOM will you promise me that youâll stay out of it?
young hoshiâs face is blank but the way his eyes search his motherâs face in a way audience did not see before now implies that he possibly couldâve been weighing his options, even as a child.
YOUNG HOSHI why does daddy hurt you?
back to 17-year-old hoshi.
HOSHI (mutters to himself) you never promised.
audience sees he made it to the kitchen during the flashback. he faces the doorway from the kitchen to the living room.
camera focuses on door. mother is thrown across the living room, father stalks after her. the sounds of punching are heard but theyâre beginning to muffle again.
flashes back.
MOM you donât let anybody hurt you, sweetheart. not you. no one hurts you.
flashes back to memory from beginning of film.
MOM (both sprawled across grass on a sunny day) you and i, weâre one, hosh. youâre made of me, and iâm made of you!
YOUNG HOSHI iâm you and youâre me?
MOM hm. not quite but sure, yes! and weâll always have each other.
flashes to conversation after brain injury.
YOUNG HOSHI why do you let daddy hurt you?
MOM i⊠i love him, hoshi.Â
we come back to teen hoshi in the kitchen. his motherâs voice is still there, but as muffled as the rest of the sounds are.
he walks forward and calmly retrieves the biggest knife from the block on the counter.Â
MOM (muffled voiceover) i love your father. and he loved me once too.Â
he weighs the knife in his hand and flips it so heâs holding it blade up. he holds it like someone whoâs practiced this before.
he turns back toward the living room, walking to the doorway that separates it from the kitchen.
MOM (muffled voiceover) maybe he will again.Â
he watches as his father punches his mother wherever she canât block him. as he takes a step forward, the high-pitched whining returns, the camera begins to shake, and the house seemingly starts to crumble around him as he walks forward.
scenes once again flash between hoshi approaching his father, the conversation on the bed, and the blood pooling from his brain injury.
MOM (voiceover, warped by the whining) but either way, i will still love him.
the scenes flashing now show bits of hoshi reaching his father amongst the rubble of their home, grabbing him by the shoulder and yanking him off his mother and onto his feet.
whining and shaking reaches a fever pitch before going eerily silent and the scene shows sunlight filtering through leaves.
MOM (clear voice) he gave me you.
camera comes back to hoshi and his mother sprawled across the grass. the memory is different this time.Â
MOM (said less warmly, more an order now) you and i, weâre one, hosh. youâre made of me, and iâm made of you.
as dialogue progresses, sun disappears, covered by dark clouds. hoshi sits up and narrows his eyes at the sky. when he turns toward his mom, he sees they are now both in the living room, the house completely in tact again, and sheâs holding his small bodyâthe younger version of him, limp in her arms as he watches from across the room. sheâs covered in his blood, and so is the floor and coffee table.
MOM (blankly with no urgency) you and i. weâre one. someone hurts me, they hurt you. and what did i tell you?
HOSHI (voiceover as camera begins to follow the trail of blood gushing from young hoshiâs head) no one hurts me.Â
complete silence, camera still following young hoshiâs blood as it flows across the hardwood floor.
the flow joins the massive pool around two pairs of shoes, both facing each other. camera stays there for a few moments, before his motherâs screams pierce the silence.
camera slowly travels up hoshiâs legs from behind, until it reaches his head, where it looks like his dad is embracing him.
something heavy falls into the blood (presumably organs), creating a splashing noise, and shortly after that, hoshi shoves his father. itâs clear he had simply died and collapsed onto him.
his mother starts screaming and sobbing over his body for several minutes, but hoshi finds that he feels relieved, his face breaking out into the smallest smile for the first time since he hit his head.
when his mother gains her senses, she grabs his face between her hands, her own face bloody, puffy, and bruised.
MOM go! you have to go! they wonât understand, theyâll take you to jail, hoshi! you have to leave!
HOSHI (frowning) but weâre safe now.
his mother freezes.Â
HOSHI heâs gone. weâre safe now.
MOM (she swallows and nods shakily) we are. but i canât let them take you to prison, sweetheart.Â
his mom begins leading him through the house, quickly forcing him to change out of his blood-soaked clothes, gathering important belongings and food, finding yearsâ worth of hidden emergency cash she never found the courage to use, stuffing it into his backpack.
HOSHI mom⊠what⊠iâŠ
his mother brings him to the back door, weaving his arms through the backpack and smiling unconvincingly. she takes his face in her hands once more and kisses both cheeks as her tears start to fall.
MOM you be safe, okay?Â
HOSHI are you mad at me? do you hate me?
MOM what? no, no, sweetie. no. (said forcefully. pauses to think) iâve only ever felt adoration for you, hoshi. adoration and nothing else. iâm sorry i let this happen. iâm sorry i subjected you to this.
HOSHI momâ
MOM but you need to go now, okay? the neighbors will have heard all the screaming. take the cash, go far away, and whatever you do, donât come back.
HOSHI butâ
MOM go!
she all but shoves him out of the door. she lingers there for a moment, trying her best to let the last memory of his mom be one of her smiling. she whispers an i love you before slamming the door shut.
PRESENT
we return to present-day hoshi, who is now seated on the edge of his girlfriendâs side of their bed. he strokes her hair away from her face as she breathes softly, still asleep.
he smiles, obviously, genuinely in love.Â
HOSHI (whispers) adoration.
youâre back at work the next day, much to soonyoungâs chagrin. he had been hoping youâd get the rest of the week off, and maybe he could get out of going into the writersâ room and keep you company at home. but he knows that was wishful thinking, especially with how set your team has been on not only working you to the bone, but ruining your life. but at least you enjoy the rest of the week since no one else is there to bother you.
for the first time since jay entered your life, you start to look light again. you start to smile more freely, joke more, and come home with bright eyes. it brings him hope that this is how it will be nowâthat he did the right thing.
though, he already knows for a fact he did the right thing.
soonyoung canât describe the pure ecstasy that ran through his veins the moment you admitted you were happy that jay was deadânot only that you were happy he was gone, but that you were glad the killer made it hurt. you didnât say it, but he heard it loud and clear.
you were proud of him for what he did. you adored him for the way he punished jay, and he would do it again. no matter how many times it tookâhow many lives it tookâhe would spill gallons and gallons of blood for you, and he would do it happily. no one would ever hurt you again. not with him around, and he planned to be around until you were both buried six feet deep.
there wasnât anything that could beat this feeling, he had decided the moment you bared your heart to himâso naked and vulnerable, and still trusting him to hold it gently. you werenât horrified by his means of protection. you werenât running the other direction. you were grateful. and he doesnât know why he thought you would be any other way. thereâs a reason heâs with you, after all.
if thereâs anything even remotely similar to a soulmate, thatâs what you are. youâre meant to be hisâmade to be his. and he was made to be yoursâto serve you, to keep you safe, to kill for you. it doesnât matter that his habit started long before he ever even met you; now, his talents are only reserved for you.
and it made excitement bubble under the surface of his skin knowing you liked it. you didnât even know he was jayâs murdererâhell, you didnât even know he was the prank call killerâand you still admired his work anyway.
âwhat are you smiling at?âÂ
he startles and looks up to see jihoon peering at his laptop screen, still only half a page full although theyâve been in the writersâ room the whole day. his colleague and friend frowns.
soonyoung sighs. âjust daydreaming, man,â he says. itâs not dishonest. he shuts his laptop and stretches in his seat before standing and drawing the attention of the small handful of writers left. âgoing to head out now, everyone. got a pretty lady waiting for me at home. donât stay too late, okay?â
he gets the usual playful eye rolls and smiles and cooing from the others as he slaps jihoon on the back and promises to get dinner with him soon. at work, heâs only known for three things: the exceptional writing that got him his lead position on the show, his fixation on horror movies, and his âobsessionâ with you. he liked itâthe idea that when people thought of him, they immediately thought of you too. they know you belong to each other, and thatâs exactly how he wants it.
soonyoung barely has the car started and in reverse when you call. he answers immediately.
âhey, baby, iâm just leaââ
âsoonyoung?â
his heart stops at the sound of your voice. itâs clear youâve been crying. for how long, he doesnât know, but your words are still thick with tears. you sound exhausted and broken and worst of all, defeated. you sound like the day you came home and he decided he was going to kill jayâthe first person heâs killed since he graduated college almost 10 years ago.
he puts the car back into park, clenching his jaw for a moment so that his first response to you isnât tell me his name and iâll have his head in front of you in an hour.
âsoonie?â you whimper. âare you there? iâm sorry to call, i know youâre at work. iââ
ây/n, where are you?â he asks as calmly as he can.Â
âiâm home,â you answer, voice so small, it makes his rage burn hotter.Â
the fact that youâre home gives him at least some relief.Â
âi was hoping youâd be here,â you tell him, voice shaky. âi just need someone to talk to. i hadâŠâ you whisper your next words like if youâre any louder, youâll completely break down. âi thought work would be better. fuck, soonie, i thought work was going to be better.â your words devolve into devastated sobs as you repeat yourself.
soonyoungâs instinct is to race to you, to hold you until your tears stop, and to put you to bed and make sure that every time you wake up from a nightmare, heâs still there, arms tight around you, unyielding. protecting you and in turn, protecting himself.
but his mask, robe, and knife are still in the trunk from his visit to jayâs last week, and right now, he thinks that paying a visit to whichever idiot youâre going to tell him about is the best way he can help.
he forces himself to turn the engine off.
âtell me everything,â he says softly, though his body feels so tense, he thinks he might pop a blood vessel.Â
âyouâre not busy, are you?â you hiccup through your tears. âi can wait until youââ
âiâm not busy, love,â he says, eye inadvertently twitching from using the word.Â
soonyoung still struggles with it. he tries not to because itâs an affection that makes you feel comforted and, well, loved, and heâll do anything to make you feel that way. still, he doesnât know how to keep it from feeling like an insult to you.Â
love was what his father gave his mom. love was what made his mom stay with a monster. what he has for you isnât the same; itâs leagues beyond it. he doesnât think thereâs a word for what he feels for you at all.
âgo on,â he encourages you. âiâm listening. tell me.â
and you do.
soonyoung used to think he never had a control issue with his habit. it wasnât something he craved or thought about the way he read that other serial killers did. no, his murderous tendencies only ever reared its ugly, useful head when he needed a solution for an ugly, useless lowlife.
the first was his father. something about cutting his stomach wide open, feeling the warmth of him rush over his hands, hearing the sound of him fall to his feet in piecesâhe decided that would be the way it happened each time. he wanted to see a man who didnât know how to treat a person rightâand he wanted to feel the life flow right out of him. without meaning to, it became his M.O.Â
he found himself hopping city to city after being forced from his home, and there was no shortage of men who needed correctionâor, eradication. it was simple at first; heâd see a horrible interaction between lovers or a father and a child or classmates or even strangers, heâd follow the offender until they were alone, and heâd gut them like a pig. he didnât think about hiding or burying the body, leaving it in plain sight to humiliate his victims further. he didnât even have his mask yet, and in retrospect, heâs not sure how he didnât get caught because he was careless in those early days.
he took it as a sign from the universe that he was doing exactly what he was supposed to.
soonyoung was smart with the money his mom left him and picked up part-time jobs until he had enough to put himself through school. university was crawling with losers begging to be killed, but he was a little older and a little wiser, and he knew a serial killer on campus would draw too much attention. so he forced himself to focus on the worst of the worst. and that was when he realized his M.O. was evolving.
it started with a frat president rumored to drug and take advantage of girls at their house parties. soonyoung watched him for a whole semester, taking note of his schedule, his routes, his haunts, his friends. then, he started calling him. nothing more than heavy breathing at first. but when he could hear the manâs nerves frayingâand that didnât take longâhe started talking to him. he found that he liked psychologically torturing him as much as heâd tortured the girls heâd hurt.
hi, allen.
who i am isnât important.
i hear you canât get a woman to consent to having sex with you. whatâs the problem? is it small? well, even if it is, that isnât really an issueâjust gotta know what to do with it, right?Â
well, i mean, why else would you resort to drugging and assaulting women?Â
donât lie to me. i see everything.
one night, weeks after heâd started calling allen, soonyoung had one last phone conversation with him, one where he was no longer bluffing. he actually was seeing everything, standing in the dark corners of the kitchen in their fraternity houseâthis time in full disguiseâwhile allen and his brothers got drunk in the backyard.
oh, allen, itâs a bad night to be drunk, buddy.
why? because iâm going to free this campus of you tonight. gonna cleanse the floors of this horrid fucking house with your blood.
itâs too late for âsorry,â allen. besides, iâm not the one who needs to hear it.
the frat president tried to stay with at least one person at all times after the call, but as his brothers got drunker and drunker and started stumbling off to bed or passing out, allen found himself alone. and in the morning, his brothers found him the same way, except this time, with his insides all over the outside.
soonyoung killed two more people while in college, and even though they were far enough apart, he still got dubbed the prank call killer, a name he found childish and dumb. besides, he didnât want a name; he wanted men to be scared. at least scared enough to try to be decent.
then, college ended, he packed up to follow the shows he wanted to write for, and it led him to you. and he didnât have time to think about anybody else, let alone plot their demise. soonyoung was occupied by you, your smile, your laugh, your scent, the way you made him feel normalâthe way you made him feel at all, something he struggled with since his accident as a child. and once he actually had you? it was over. he knew there was no possible way heâd ever be able to let go of you ever again.Â
and the killing just⊠stopped. with you, he learned how to make friendsâmade a ton of them. he learned to enjoy other people and their company. he learned how to love, even if it sometimes made him want to plunge a knife into his own stomach. but he did it for you because he adored you, and nothing was more important than you.
so no, he didnât think he had a control issue. it was largely easy minding his own business and refraining from stabbing men left and right when he had you next to him.Â
but then, you started this stupid fucking job. you met jay and all his little cronies, and soonyoung realized it wasnât a matter of his control; it was a matter of your safety and happiness. because now that you were the center of his universe, you two were one. if someone hurt you, they were hurting him.Â
and the way he sees it, his only job is to make sure no one hurts him. no one messes with whatâs his.
itâs not about control. he has none now. itâs about you.
by the time you finish telling him everything that happened that day, he has a strange calmness about him he hasnât felt since before you. he canât do anything but stare blankly forward, watching as employees of the studio walk to their cars and pull away.
âiâm so over it,â you grunt, having passed from sad to angry fairly quickly. âi donât think i can do this anymore, soonie. i know money would be tight and i donât want to put that stress on us butââÂ
âno, donât be silly,â he says, feeling like heâs on autopilot. âplease quit, baby. iâve wanted you to quit since the first day; i just⊠didnât want to be that boyfriend.â he means every word and yet, he canât feel any of them as they leave his mouth. âweâll figure it out. please quit.â
thereâs a heavy silence between the lines until you sigh deeply. âokay, love. i will. iâll do it.â
he thinks he should feel relieved. he doesnât and he knows he wonât until he kills them. âyeah? you will?â he asks, hoping he sounds excited enough. âyou promise?â
your smile is loud and clear as you speak. âyes, i promise, soonie. iâm going to march in there tomorrow and quit without notice, and iâll tell them i hope they all drop deadâno!âÂ
you gasp and correct yourself.Â
âiâll tell them i hope the prank call killer comes for them just like they did for jay!â
soonyoung feels something then. he doesnât know what; he canât define it, but it quickly grows into something bigger the more you speak. it pulls both his spirits and the corners of his lips up. it kisses him and fills him with light. it makes him feel alive, more than a shell for a soul he isnât even sure he has.
âi donât even know if any of them realize what really happened,â you think aloud before sighing like youâre daydreaming. âugh, what i wouldnât pay to see them on the news like that. âgrisliest murders since prank call killings plague corporate hellâ! that would be nice, huh?â
soonyoung smirks. that, he can deliver.
âyeah, baby. it would. a headline like that⊠iâd die happy.â
âme too,â you agree before telling him: âno one gets me like you do, soonie.â
his heart soars.Â
đïž a portion from an early draft of the script for cult classic horror movie, âadoration,â by renowned screenwriter kwon soonyoung
after heâs done gagging howardâso tightly, the fabric is cutting into his skin, a punishment for the earlier kick to the headâhoshi stands in front of the two men, leaning up against the pool table and watching them.
they both have cuts and bruises on their faces, from the struggle to get them into the dining chairs, but hoshiâs knife is still nowhere in sight.
HOSHI (begins mindlessly and slowly pacing in front of them) i bet you want to ask me who i am⊠what i want⊠why iâm doing this, right?
howard glares at him but chris is already crying.
HOSHI and usually, iâd entertain the questions because prolonging the hope that youâre going to survive makes this more fun for me, but⊠(stops facing away from them) iâm tired. and i think iâm beyond having fun tonight. (turns head toward them and chris flinches at the mask) i think⊠(fully turns toward them with hunting knife in hand, catching the light) i just want to wipe you two off the face of this earth and be done with it.
howardâs glare falters and chris urinates on himself. hoshi snorts.
HOSHI (walks up to chris, who cringes away from him) chris, right? (leans down so chris is face to face with his mask) i asked you a question.
chris nods obediently and quickly, gag soaked in his own tears.
HOSHI so youâre the one who called my girl a bitch, hm? (chris frowns but he doesnât seem to know exactly who hoshi is yet) called her a bitch in front of the whole office⊠told her sheâd be better sucking your dick under the desk than trying to assign you work?
howardâs eyes widen as he realizes exactly who hoshi is talking about. chris starts sobbing loudly, begging for his life incoherently through the gag.
HOSHI (looks down at chrisâs soiled lap, points his knife at his crotch) you want her to suck this dick?
chrisâs begging becomes more desperate, thrashing in his seat as he realizes whatâs about to happen.Â
HOSHI (looks up at chris briefly and huffs a single laugh) what dick?
he shoves his knife into chrisâs crotch. chris screams in muffled agony and howard starts shrieking and flailing in an attempt to scoot his chair away from the other two.Â
camera is focused on hoshiâs upper half and audience can see his arm jerking quickly back and forth as chrisâs screams continue and howard finally starts crying. then, thereâs a dull thud on the floor, and hoshi straightens back up and takes a step away, knife disappearing in his robes as he tilts his head and views his work.
HOSHI looks like there isnât a dick to suck there, chris. shame.Â
chrisâs wailing continues as hoshi looks to howard now, who begins shaking his head and crying through his gag.
HOSHI and you, you annoying little fuck. (crouches in front of howard) it wasnât enough that youâre making her life a living hell, you wanted to piss me off even more and kick me in the head, huh?
hoshi rips his mask off, revealing his face to howard. thereâs already a bruise spreading across the top of his left cheek. he smirks.
HOSHI my name is hoshi, if youâre wondering. and yeah. iâm her boyfriend. and as her boyfriend, she tells me all kinds of things. iâm sure you can imagine.Â
he stands up and walks back to the pool table, resting his mask against the felt before turning, leaning up against it once more, and crossing his arms.
HOSHI and today, she had a lot to tell me. she told me that jakeâs two closest idiot friends were trying to continue his legacy as biggest asshole in the office. do you know how jake died, howard? wonât bother asking mr. no-dick, over there. seems busy.Â
camera goes to chris, who keeps fading in and out of consciousness, face soaked with sweat, tears, and drool slipping out of his open mouth.
HOSHI no guesses? (a gagged howard looks at him incredulously) okay, fine, fine, iâll tell you. i killed him.Â
even though his tone sounds prideful as he speaks, his face is blank. he stares at howard with soulless eyes, and it unnerves him further.
HOSHI i snuck into his apartment while he was out drinking with you guys. (howard makes a noise of surprise) yeah, thatâs right. you two were the last people to see that moron alive. i should probably thank you. (tilts his head up at the ceiling like heâs reliving the memory) his inebriated state made it a lot easier to tease and kill him. not a lot of fight in that one. surprising, donât you think? (head remains tilted at ceiling, but eyes flash down to meet howardâs) that someone who tormented a womanâs life the way he did would die so easily⊠so quietly⊠so⊠pathetically.
chris regains consciousness and starts screaming and sobbing again, head hung over where his member used to be
HOSHI (brings his head down and looks at chris now) how will you two die? (eyes slide over to howard) will you beg for your life the way jake did? will you⊠offer me meaningless apologies and promises? will you⊠tell me that youâll give me whatever i want?Â
he brings out his knife again and wipes it against howardâs pool table, smearing chrisâs blood against the green felt. he inspects it like heâs making sure itâs sharp enough. camera focuses on hoshiâs reflection in the blade.
HOSHI (shrugs, puts knife down) i guess weâll see in a few momentsâhow similar you are to jake. i will say, (pushes off the pool table, taking his mask with him) you two seem to be even worse than that deadbeat. do you agree, chris?
chris screams at the mere mention of his name, convulsing as hoshi walks closer to both of them. he stops just a couple of steps away from them, right in between the two.
HOSHI jake was a demeaning, narcissistic misogynist. and i tore him wide fucking open. let his intestines spill all over his own floor. made his living room a shallow sea of red.
both howard and chris beg through their gags.
HOSHI can you imagine what iâll do to you if i think youâre even worse? (puts his mask back on and looks at howard) can you imagine what iâll do to the man who told the whole office that he was gonna fuck the ambition and fight out of my girl, whether she liked it or not? what do you think iâll do to that man if i made a massacre out of the dumbass who said a few mean things?Â
howard desperately shrieks excuses against his gag, no success in saying even one understandable word.Â
HOSHI (sighs like heâs come to a decision) yeah, iâm beyond having fun tonight. (quickly slashes chrisâs throat, shallow enough that it will take a long time for him to bleed out. howard screams) at least with him. but with you? (crouches in front of howard again) the night has only started for you, howard.
IN THEIR HOME
TV NEWS ANCHOR authorities are doing their best to calm increasingly panicked citizens as fears that a serial killer is rampant on our streets spread. last week, 29-year-old jake lee was found brutally murdered in his downtown apartment (camera view switches to hoshiâs girlfriend as she tidies up around their living room. she looks pleased upon hearing that sentence), stabbed multiple times. last night, police answered multiple calls to 911 reporting the screams of a man in their high-rise apartment.Â
she stops tidying, turning to look at the news broadcast from where she stands. her eyes are wide and her mouth hangs open in surprise.
TV NEWS ANCHOR upon entering, they found 27-year-old howard wang and 25-year-old chris vuâs bodies in the formerâs apartment. authorities have not yet released details of the crime, but sources report that the nature of their deaths is comparable to that of jake leeâs. we have maya on the scene, reporting.
the tv turns off as she sinks into the couch, obviously in a dazed shock. the camera focuses on her from straight ahead, slowly zooming in on her for several, silent seconds until only the lower half of her face is visible. after a few more moments, she smiles.
you watch soonyoung carefully as he washes the dishes, something he insisted on doing since you cooked tonight. you think itâs the least you can do for the sole earner of the household now that youâre unemployed, but he refused to let you do it yourself.
from where you stand, you have a clear view of his sharp profile. the bruise he says he got from falling down the stairs at work earlier this week has become a deep purple, spreading across his cheekbone and toward his jawline. you suppose he couldâve gotten that in a fall. a fall that took place the same night hayden and charles were murdered. the same night you told him you wished jayâs killer would come for them next.
you want to say your boyfriend would never do something that insane. you want to say your boyfriend doesnât have the kind of temperament required to commit vengeful crimes like these. but after almost ten years together, you think there have been enough signs to make you take pause.
soonyoung almost never got visibly jealousânever paid any attention to men who looked at you a little too long or sent the server to deliver you a drink. he was confident in his trust in you. it shouldâve been comforting how unbothered he was by the attention you received, but sometimes, you felt offended that he wasnât at least a little bit jealous.
these thoughts were vanquished immediately when one night, someone grabbed you at a bar. it wasnât even inappropriate; the man just took you by your forearm and yanked you toward him in an attempt to keep you from getting crushed by a drunken patron who had zero spatial awareness.
youâll never forget the rage you saw in soonyoungâs eyes when they landed on the strangerâs hold on your arm. he didnât do anythingâsimply threw the hand off you and led you away, but the look stayed with you. it was a raw, all-consuming, unadulterated, and unchecked rage you donât think youâve ever seen with your own eyes before.Â
the kind of rage you think could be capable of murder, given the right circumstances.
it shouldâve scared you. just like the idea of soonyoung murdering your coworkers one by one should scare you. but it didnât, and it doesnât now. exactly like back then, it gets you wetter faster than foreplay itself.
soonyoung turns the faucet off and wipes his hands on the towel. when he turns, heâs so startled to find you standing so close to him, he stumbles back.
âoh shit,â he breathes, laughing a little. âi didnât realize you were so close. you move so quietly.â he notices the way you stare at him intently. like itâs second-nature, he wraps himself around you and pulls you into his chest. âwhatâs up, baby?â
âi want to try something,â you say softly, a little hesitantly.Â
you know what youâre about to ask for is depraved and worrisome and⊠inhumane. but you canât bring yourself to care right now, not when your panties are this soaked at the thoughts flying wildly around your head.
âokay,â soonyoung says, laughing a little. âcan you be more specific?â
âi want⊠to roleplay a little,â you say, gaze going down to soonyoungâs neck, then his chest. your fingers trace the edges and dips of his collarbones and his pecs.
his grip on you tightens. âis that right?â he says, smirking. âand who do you want us to pretend to be? are we strangers in a bar?â
you shake your head. âno, not strangers in a bar.â
âokay,â he acquiesces easily.Â
soonyoung is always eager to give you whatever you want, and it bolsters your confidence to ask this of him. he leans down to graze your ear with his lips.
âam i your sexy sidepiece youâre cheating on your boring ass husband with?â he whispers, running his hands down to your ass and gently squeezing, pressing your hips against his so you can feel him already hardening from this conversation alone.
you smile, eyes fluttering closed as he nips at your lobe. ânope, not that either.â
âtell me who you want me to be, and iâll be whatever it is, baby.â he subtly grinds into you and you try not to moan.Â
âyou promise you wonât judge me?â you whisper.
âi would never,â he promises, leaving open-mouthed kisses down your neck now.Â
âi want you to be him,â you say as he starts to bite and suck. âi want you to be the prank call killer.â
he completely freezes in your arms, mouth still against your skin. for a horrifying minute, you think youâve crossed the line. of course soonyoung is going to think youâre a freak for asking something so debauched and immoral of him. you have little to no evidence that he would ever enjoy something like this.
youâre about to push him away and start groveling for forgiveness and promising to seek therapy, when he grabs you by the face with both hands and envelopes your lips roughly with his own. his kisses are hot and wet and his tongue is in your mouth before you can ask if this means âyes.â
he presses you up against the kitchen island, and you can feel his entire length against your thigh, fully hard now and begging to be inside you. you groan just thinking about itâthinking about the murderer that took your tormentors off the street fucking into you viciously and relentlessly.
âand who are you?â he asks, breaking away from the kiss and lifting you so that youâre sitting on the counter.Â
soonyoungâs voice is rough and raspy with desire you havenât heard from him quite like this before, and you feel the wetness between your legs grow knowing heâs willing to do this for you.
âiâm exactly who i am right now,â you say, feeling a little shy, but when he moans at your words, you feel bold enough to be honest with your fantasy. âiâm your girlfriend,â you inform him, hands diving under his shirt and caressing the muscles there. âand youâre going around killing all the losers i fucking hate because you adore me so much.â
âfuck, youâre so goddamn hot,â he mutters as he takes both hands and rips your blouse open, buttons popping and fabric ripping. you gasp and he smirks at the sound, slipping the ruined piece of clothing off you. âshhh, donât be scared, baby. youâre the one person in this world i would never hurt.â
the sentence undoes you.
âoh god,â you breathe, diving forward and capturing his lips again.Â
soonyoung makes quick work of your bra, throwing it somewhere behind him once itâs off. he massages your breast for a few moments before taking your nipple between his fingers and tugging.
you break the kiss to tilt your head back and groan, and he takes the opportunity to bite and suck at the space where your neck meets your shoulder.
ârougher,â you breathe. âcâmon, youâre a murderer.â
soonyoung laughs a little at that, his love bites turning into gentle pecks up and down your neck.Â
âand you think this killer⊠heâd be rough with you?â
your eyes blink open a few times, staring at the ceiling and losing yourself in thought. in the days following your colleaguesâ deaths and your own resignation from work, youâve had a lot of time to thinkâand touchâabout this. when you envisioned soonyoung as your murderous protector, you saw him as vicious and wrathful and cruel. but when it came to you⊠his need was desperate and carnal, but always softer. gentler.
you realize itâs probably not so different from the way soonyoung already likes to fuck you: like youâre the only person in the world he cares about.
âhow aboutâŠâ soonyoung presses one last kiss to your neck before his hands are suddenly up your skirt. he pushes your panties aside and abruptly plunges his middle finger into your heat. your body jerks into his in response. âyou let me take the lead here, and if you donât like something, you just let me know, hm?â
every word youâve ever known escapes you as he fucks you with just one finger, the wet sounds of your arousal embarrassingly loud as he moves in and out. his thumb lands on your clit when you let out a particularly filthy moan for him, and you lean back on your hands and open your legs wider for him for better access. he gives you another finger as reward.
âoh, soonie,â you breathe. âyes.â
âso warm, so wet,â he rasps, other hand landing on your chest and flicking your nipple. âso beautiful.â
âbabe,â you whine, rolling your hips onto his fingers in frenzied movements. âtell me⊠tell me aboutâoh my god!â
âhm?â he hums before the sound of more fabric ripping fills the kitchen.Â
you frown and look down in time to see soonyoung bringing your panties to his nose. you have half a mind to scream at him to stop but his fingers are still inside you, rendering you absolutely speechless as he presses the lace against his face and inhales deeply. your instinct is to feel self consciousâto snap your legs closed and grab your ruined underwear back. but you watch as his eyes roll back into his head and his lips twitch up against the black lace, and you realize he loves it. he breathes in again, and this time, you feel the excitement it causes through his fingers. they move with renewed fervor, like theyâre thanking you for the gift youâve given soonyoung.Â
âsmell so fucking delicious,â he all but growls as he balls the panties up and pockets them.
before you can say anything back, heâs bending down to let his tongue taste your clit briefly before pressing his thumb back against you. your hips jerk and you canât help when your elbows give, making you collapse and lay all the way down on the counter.Â
his fingers pump in and out of you faster now, and he completely replaces his thumb with his tongue, guzzling and drinking you up so intensely, his face quickly becomes covered with the stickiness of you.
âtaste perfect,â he moans into you, tongue lapping you up eagerly. âtastes like mine.â
it pushes you over the edge quickly, and your back is arching off the island counter as your orgasm seizes you. the room is filled with your boyfriendâs name as you ride out the pleasure on his fingers.
âwhat do you want me to tell you about?â soonyoung asks once you come down, thumb going back to your clit. he keeps his face close to your pussy as he speaks, nose occasionally slipping between your folds and inhaling as he does. âshould i tell you about how i disembowelled that ugly, little douchebag, jay?â
your cunt spasms at the words and soonyoung huffs a laugh when he feels you clench around his fingers. he curls them inside you, easily finding the spongy spot heâs been purposely avoiding up until now. he slows his movements, rubbing you patiently and carefully.
you sigh at the sensation, unsure if itâs because you feel so good or because youâre frustrated heâs eased up.
âi ran my knife up his body until his bones wouldnât let me butcher him any further,â he whispers, moving so that his mouth is over your stomach, tongue slipping out to trace patterns on your skin between words. âand i made him bleed, baby. fuck, i made him bleed so much.â
âsoonie.â
âi made him bleed for looking at you, for breathing near you, for ever thinking he could make someone as perfect as you bend to his will,â he whispers, breath hot as it fans over your skin, fingers still working you to a second orgasm. âi painted his apartment red. and i made it hurt. i made sure to make it hurt. just⊠for⊠you.â
he pushes roughly at your spot as he says that last word, eliciting a lewd moan as the beginnings of your next orgasm start to settle over you. soonyoung smirks against your skin.
âas for charles, i cut his fucking cock off,â he tells you.Â
you gasp at that even though you know heâs just making shit up for the sake of roleplaying. still, you find it in yourself to hate how much you love the idea of soonyoung doing that to someone who told you to get on your knees and suck his dick. someone who wasnât your boyfriend.
âhe cried like a bitch,â he says, kissing your clit before straightening back up so he can properly watch you writhe under him. âcried all the way up until i slit his throat.â
you smile at soonyoung then, reaching for his free handâthe one not currently buried two fingers deep inside youâand bringing it over your tit and holding it there. he looks at you like youâre the reason heâs alive. like youâre the only good thing in the world.Â
he massages you, just as gently as he did when this first started.
âbut my favoriteâŠâ he says, eyes heavy-lidded as he takes you in. all his. all the time. until the end of time.
he removes his hand from your chest and shoves his sweatpants down just enough for his cock to spring out. your hips immediately start to buck at the sight, but all soonyoung has to do is shake his head at you once for you to immediately stop moving. thereâs something so demanding and powerful about his presence right now that youâre not willing to push the limits of his patience. the pleased look on his face makes your emptiness feel worth it. he takes himself in his fist, pumping a few times as he speaks.
âmy favorite was hayden. do you know why, baby?â he asks, moaning when you start playing with your nipple and breathing his name. âcan you imagine the shit i did to the loser who thought he could fuck whatâs mine?â
âi am,â you sigh, nodding desperately. âiâm yours.â
soonyoung pumps even faster now, but his fingers never falter inside you, intent on getting you to another high. and itâs close. you can feel it building almost painfully in your lower abdomen.
âi cut that ugly tongue of his out of his fucking mouth,â he grunts. you clench hard around his fingers. âand i started chopping him to fucking piecesââ
âsoonyoung, iâm going to cum!â you half-shout, twisting under him uncontrollably.Â
âi cut him up, and the entire time, i only thought of you,â he fucks into his fist harder as you start to lose yourself to your climax.Â
âsoonyoung!â
âand i thought that iâd kill the entire fucking world if i had to⊠just to keep you mine.â
you cum harder than you ever have in your life, near-screaming as you squirt all over soonyoungâs hand. the feeling reaches every, single corner of your body, making you convulse with pleasure.
âholy shit,â you hear from somewhere above you.
you donât have time to gather your senses, though, because immediately, your body is being dragged down to the edge of the counter until youâre flying right off it. your boyfriend catches you, standing you up and kissing you full on the lips as he shoves your skirt down enough for it to slip off you and pool at your feet. you take the opportunity to tug his shirt off too, hands all over his naked torso once it is.Â
âlet me cum in you?â he asks without leaving your lips.
âgod, please,â you whine, feeling the wetness soonyoung caused sliding down your thighs.
he wastes no time after that, turning you around so that your hips are flush against the kitchen counter. you feel the fabric of his sweatpants glide down the back of your thighs as he removes them, and thatâs the last thing you remember before the darkness overcomes you.
your eyes squeeze shut as soonyoung slams into you in one go, giving you zero time to adjust as he starts to immediately rut into you from behind. it burns and hurts so delectably, having him stretch you like this. usually, he takes even more time than he did tonight, making his way up to four fingers sometimes, but having him fuck you like thisâlike if he waits even a second longer, itâll be his ruinâit threatens to violently shove you into an abyss of pleasure you fear youâll never get out of. Â
soonyoung makes sure to hold you up, one arm across your chest with his hand on your breast, the other on your neck, forcing you to tilt your head back and rest on his shoulder.
you feel his eyes on you, his breath fanning your cheek as his gaze rakes you top to bottom, and you know he looks like a god, but you canât open your eyes to save your life right now. you think if you do, you might explode into a million little pieces, forever disappearing into the ether.Â
you feel his lips rest against your ear as he sloppily whispers, âdo you like it? knowing iâd do anything for you?â his voice is hoarse as he fucks you rougher than he ever has, the debased sound of skin slapping against each other filling the kitchen. âthat iâd kill anyone without a second thought if it meant keeping you forever?â
you moan loudly, eyes pathetically rolling when you attempt to open them. you give up, keeping them shut as you reach up and grab soonyoungâs hair. he groans as you tug.
âsoonie,â you sigh, shoving your hips back to meet his and making him curse. âi love it. i love it so much.âÂ
you donât know that youâre playing a role anymore. the idea that soonyoung would do any of this for you is so titillating, you feel drunk off it.
âfeel so safe with you,â you say in broken gasps, your boyfriendâs rhythm making it impossible to say more than two words smoothly. âknow youâll always protect me, soonie.â
soonyoung curses loudly and bites into your neck to keep from getting any louder. his hips snap to yours at an increasingly unforgivable pace.
âand iâll always protect you too,â you tell him.Â
you donât care if this is something you wouldnât be able to double down on when his cock isnât buried to the hilt inside of you; it feels like the right thing to say. it feels exactly like what you want to do for him too: everything and anything. just to keep him yours.
âi would do anything for you, soonie,â you whisper.
without warning, thereâs a burst of warmth inside your cunt, and soonyoungâs hand briefly tightens against your throat before immediately relaxing again, nothing but his moans and your name taking up the air in the room. he comes inside you hard, hips gluing to your ass like heâs trying to keep every, tiny drop inside you.Â
the feeling of his dick pulsing against your walls, pushing his seed into you, claiming you as hisâit pushes you to your third orgasm, a slow and rolling one, not as intense as the others, but impossibly more satisfying. because this one not only brings you pleasure and an endless well of love for soonyoung; it brings you clarity.
because as you finally open your eyes moments later, soonyoung whispering sweet affirmations, vows, and affections in your ear as he keeps his softening cock warm inside you, you realize with startling lucidity that it wasnât just a little fantasy.
the idea of soonyoung covered in blood and gore on your behalf was the stuff made of your dreamsâor, arguably, nightmares. the idea that you had someone who adored you so deeply, he would play god like that made your heart grow tenfold. and now that soonyoung has fucked the fantasy deep into places inside you you couldnât reach, you didnât have it in you to feel ashamed about it.
youâre happy those three are dead.
and youâll be even happier when the rest of them are too.
đïž a portion from an early draft of the script for cult classic horror movie, âadoration,â by renowned screenwriter kwon soonyoung
HOSHI (leaning forward on the table) whatâs your favorite scary movie?
YOUR ALIAS hmmm⊠(she buys herself time by taking a sip of her coffee) maybe⊠âsawâ? why? are you big on scary movies?
HOSHI (shrugs) i like âem. probably more than other genres, yeah. (laughs nervously) what, um, do you like about âsawâ?
she looks at him like sheâs endeared by his nervousness.
YOUR ALIAS i mean, it was a really lengthy and roundabout way of doing things, but i guess i just enjoyed the idea of someone delivering retribution to people who deserved it but escaped it, not that i agreed all the victims chosen shouldâve been chosen at all. just enjoyed seeing a few assholes die.
HOSHI (nods slowly) you like karma.
YOUR ALIAS (pauses with coffee at lips. she nods, maintaining eye contact) i do. (sips coffee) whatâs your favorite scary movie?
HOSHI i like any slasher movie with a good final girl. if i had to pick, iâd probably say âhalloween.â
YOUR ALIAS ahh, laurie, the final girl of all final girls.
hoshi visibly lights up at the comment, smiling widely at her.
HOSHI you know more about horror than you let on.
she nods, smiling back.
YOUR ALIAS just a little. i wouldnât say iâm knowledgeable but iâve watched a lot of the classics at least once. iâd call it a green flag that you root for the final girls. laurieâs a good one.
HOSHI iâll take it. (obviously pleased) but humor me. why is it a green flag?
YOUR ALIAS (shrugs) when done correctly, final girls are the perfect mix of vulnerabilityâ
scene suddenly and almost startlingly flashes to memories of hoshiâs mother for a brief second, accompanied by what sounds like a loud gust of wind. the memories are happy ones between hoshi and his mom.
YOUR ALIAS âand strengthâ
the memories become times his mother endured his fatherâs beatings.
YOUR ALIAS âand donât subscribe to traditional gender roles and ideals. iâm not a huge fan of some films making it so that a lot of final girls are, like⊠holier than thou virgins, but i think the trope has come a long way.Â
hoshi nods, seemingly satisfied with her answer. she laughs and adds:
YOUR ALIAS unless you like final girls because you like to see a woman struggling against a violent serial killer. then red flag.
hoshi forces a laugh and shakes his head, looking down at his coffee and tracing the mouth of his mug.
HOSHI no, no. definitely more in line with the first one. i, uh⊠(looks up at her and seems to search for something in her eyes. whatever it is, he finds it and has the strength to be vulnerable for the first time in his life) my dad was abusive. with my mom.
her face falls and reaches forward to hold hoshiâs hand. the feeling is foreign and odd but he lets her hold it, even curling his own fingers closed around hers.
YOUR ALIAS iâm so sorry.
HOSHI she made me get out. she forced me to leave and never come back so i donât really know what happened to her. i guess i just hope sheâs a final girl.
she takes her second hand and closes it over the top of his and rubs it comfortingly.
YOUR ALIAS she must have loved you so much. (hoshi visibly bristles at that but doesnât pull away) to be able to give you a better chance at life even if it meant never seeing you again⊠she absolutely is the final girl.
HOSHI (smiles) i like the way you described it. vulnerability, strength.Â
YOUR ALIAS (smiles back) tell me more about her.
the two talk until the cafe closes and kicks them out, and the audience sees a montage of the couple going on their second date, third date, until they are moving in together, and planning a future together. hoshi is the happiest the audience has ever seen him, and it seems the side of him that kills has been quieted, though we know that to be untrue from the murders happening present-day.
the montage moves into a scene where she comes home from work in tears. hoshi consoles her, but eventually, that same blank stare we first saw after his head injury comes back.
once sheâs asleep, hoshi visits a storage unit he rents a few miles away. he reels up the door, revealing just one trunk in the unit. he walks up to it and opens it.
inside, is a mask, a robe, and a knife.
sex with you after that night in the kitchen has become twice as intense as it ever used to be, and soonyoung knows itâs because a big part of him isnât holding back anymoreâheâs bringing his whole self into bed with you, not bothering to pretend he isnât completely eviscerating anyone who even looks at you funny in his spare time.
he tells you everything you want to hear, which funnily enough, is just the truth.Â
two more deaths to add to the list at your office, and he tells you exactly how he did it. he tells you what they said, how they begged, how he made them pay with their lives. between all of that, he never forgets to tell you he would do it time and time and again for you. he would do anything for you. kill anyone for you.
and the way you moan and gasp and cum at his words every time without fail is so goddamn addicting, he thinks he might die whenever heâs not inside you.Â
itâs dangerous, he knows that. as you start to tell him more stories you didnât bother to when you were still working there, the itch to go annihilate that entire office becomes overwhelming, and he knows if he doesnât control it soon, itâs bound to draw unwanted attention; he doesnât know how it hasnât already, with five dead bodiesâall on the same team at the same company.
so for a few weeks, he doesnât do anything about the mental list of names he has in his head, letting the headlines and panic die down.Â
you go out interviewing for jobs, he goes to work, you both come home and fuck each otherâs brains out, and he stifles the voice in his head telling him to go murder every last person on that team.
but then, you ask for something terrifying.
youâve been exploring your kinks ever since you first asked him to roleplay, and youâve found the things you like and dislikeâall things he agrees with so far. you like being tied up, you like blindfolding him, you donât like calling him daddy (he absolutely fucking hated trying that one), you loved when he spit in your mouth, and he loved when you spit in his.Â
and while he was open to all your suggestions, there were some things he hesitated with. you asked him to choke you and though he initially agreed, he couldnât, immediately getting soft when he tried to. you asked him to degrade youâcall you a bitch, a slut, a whoreâand he figured it was your way of coming to terms with what you experienced at your nightmare of a job. that maybe if it came from someone you loved and felt safe with instead of the asshole in the next cubicle, youâd slowly chip away at your trauma. but he couldnât do that either.
you always handled his rejections gracefully, assuring him that you could do missionary with zero kinks involved for the rest of your life, and youâd be âon your knees thanking him for blessing you with his dick either way.â and you do your best to prove that to him, taking kinks off the table for a while and seemingly giving him a break. the only thing that stays constant is the âroleplaying,â though thatâs probably more at soonyoungâs insistence than anything else. the intimacy he experiences from being himself in bed with youâtruly himselfâis unparalleled.Â
until one night, you ask him to use a knife on you during sex, and the panic attack it incitesâthe first soonyoung has ever experiencedâis so massive, you almost call 911. he calms down enough to convince you not to, and the rest of the night is spent in your arms as you cry and apologize profusely for suggesting something like that when you know how his parents raised him. he tries to find the strength to tell you itâs okay, and that he understands, and that thereâs no harm in asking, but each time he tries, nothing comes out of his mouth. he spends that entire time staring at the wall, and for the very first time, he experiences it: an undeniable thirst to plunge his knife into someone.Â
soonyoung isnât sure why, especially since he just suffered the most exhausting mental breakdown over the measly idea of even holding a knife anywhere near your vicinity. maybe itâs to take his mind off the gruesome, nauseating thoughts of his hunting knife sinking into your fleshâimages that flooded his mind against his will the moment you asked that of him. maybe itâs a need to recalibrate his brain, like if he kills another one of your tormentors, it will remind him of his devotion to you.
whatever it is, it nags at him day and night for the rest of the week until he accepts itâs something he needs to give into, no matter how callous and unwise it might be. in an attempt to convince himself itâs okay, he says this will be the last one; regardless of the handful of names left, heâll do this last one, and heâll move on. as such, he makes his last victim the one person who couldâve put an end to all of this from the start: your boss.Â
daniel park is a man of routine, soonyoung learns over the next few weeks. he leaves his home at a sharp 7 a.m., stopping by the same coffeeshop near his obnoxiously large house in the suburbs. he gets to the office around 8 a.m., a full hour after he required you (and no one else) to be in the office when you were still his employee. now that youâre gone, park is usually the first of his team in the office. he locks himself up inside his corner office doing fuck all while everyone else does his work for eight hours. he leaves the office exactly at 4 p.m., and from there, he either goes out for dinner and drinks with his team (something you were never invited to), meets equally old and ugly buddies for drinks, or goes to a bar alone for drinks. either way, the man is drunk by 6 p.m. every day.Â
then, around 10 p.m., heâll make his sorry way homeâdriving drunk while at itâand heâll stumble into his home, paying no mind to his already sleeping wife, who took care of the home and their child the entire day with no help from him.Â
soonyoung decides to be reckless one more time. itâs his last one, anyway. he wants this one to matter. he wants this one to be the one you think about for the rest of your lifeâenough to hold you over even if he never kills again.Â
he waits for a night when park drinks alone, usually around wednesday or thursday, when heâs gotten tired of his team and wants time alone with whatever stupid thoughts he has. soonyoung watches him from a corner booth at the bar, knocking back whiskey after whiskey like theyâre shots. and when he stumbles out of the establishment, he easily guides him to his own car instead of parkâs with little protest from the drunk.Â
he drives him right back to the office building that took so much energy and life out of you, using his badge to get them into the floor. heâs patient with park, letting the man nod off for an hour as he ties him up and prepares for the rest of the night.
when park finally blinks his eyes open, soonyoung is fully dressed in his usual disguise and standing before him in the darkness, only the moonlight filtering in from the windows to his left illuminating his shape. the way your boss startles so violently is deeply satisfying, and it takes everything in soonyoung to refrain from laughing in his face. park jerks his limbs, horrified to find them tightly bound to his own chair, wheeled out of his office and brought to the front of the team floor, where park keeps a whiteboard for their daily stand-ups.Â
âgood morning, sunshine,â soonyoung says from beneath his mask.Â
âwho are you?! what kind of sick joke is this?!â
ânone of you were raised with manners, huh?â he grumbles. âall of you skip straight to your stupid questions. why donât any of you know how to greet a fellow human being?â
he stills in the seat. ââall of usâ?âÂ
soonyoung nods slowly, taking his knife out of his robes, freshly cleaned and polished the way it is before and after every single death. he feels a jolt of dread twist in his stomach when he looks at the blade, picturing it buried in your stomach. he shakes his head to free himself of the thoughts, and thankfully, park doesnât notice, too busy blabbering all kinds of questions.Â
âshhh, shhh!â soonyoung shushes him, waving his hands erratically. âquiet, shut up, iâm irritable tonight and if you piss me off on top of that, iâll make this ten times slower than it needs to be.â
his mouth clamps shut at that and he presses himself back into his seat.Â
soonyoung usually pretends to inspect his knife at this point just to intimidate his victims, but he couldnât guarantee that he wouldnât throw up looking at his own weapon right now, so he lets the arm holding it simply fall to his side.Â
âall of you,â he repeats. âjay⊠charles⊠hayden.â he walks to park slowly, menacingly. âleo, ian.â
your bossâs eyes widen as he hears all the names of his slain employees from the last several months.Â
âdaniel,â soonyoung finishes his list. âyou.â
âwh⊠whatâŠ?â he sputters, shaking his head in confusion. his words slur and this close, soonyoung can smell the alcohol on his breath even from under his mask. âyou were actually targeting this office?!â
soongyoung scoffs. âwell, yes. the only victims have been from this office.â
âb-but authorities! they said there have been a few others that couldâve beenââ
park cuts himself off with his own scream as soonyoungâs knife pins his hand to the arm of his chair.Â
âoh my god!â he screams at the top of his lungs, entire body jerking against his restraints. âoh my god, you stabbed me! you fucking stabbed me! oh my god!â
âi told you to be quiet, right?â he reminds him. âare you going to be quiet⊠or not?â
your boss stops screaming, though his whimpering and sobbing is almost just as loud. he does his best not to look at his own hand like it helps him pretend it didnât just happen. he stares up at the ceiling, taking shallow breaths.Â
âdo you know what all of you have in common?â soonyoung asks.Â
âno,â park breathes, still blinking furiously at the ceiling.Â
ây/n,â he states easily. âthatâs what you have in common.â
parkâs eyes come down to soonyoungâs mask, wide and filled with tears.Â
âyeah, you know exactly why iâm here, donât you?â
âiâiââ his mouth opens and closes several times before he says, âiâm sorry.â
âwhatever for?â soonyoung asks sarcastically, pulling someoneâs chair out from their cubicle.Â
he notices a light blanket on it, yanking it off and throwing it over his shoulder before he sits down. he slouches, bringing one ankle to rest up on his knee and cradling his chin in his hand, elbow on the armrest. he tilts his head in mock interest.Â
âfor it all!â he shrieks. âi swear, iâm sorry, i know i shouldâve done more! iâm sorry! iâm a fucking coward, okay?! please! i know what they did to her was horrible!âÂ
âdo you? know that?â
âyes, yes! i swear!â
âname them.â
âwhat?â
âif you can name everything they said and did to her,â soonyoung says, watching the way his blood drips from the armrest and stains the carpet below. âmaybe iâll make this quick. stab you in the heart and be done with it.â
âwhat?!â he protests. âwhat about you let me live?â
soonyoung scoffs exaggeratedly. âoh no, daniel. no. thatâs cute, but no. the only way youâre coming out of this building is in a body bag. it really is just a matter of whether or not this will be quick and painless or⊠well, yâknow⊠the alternative.â
heâs bluffing. he already knows exactly what heâs doing with park. he just likes giving him the illusion of control. when he rips it away from him, itâll be all the more gratifying.Â
âyou have a minute. iâd start listing if i were you.â
âthey, uh, they bullied her!âÂ
soonyoung rolls his eyes beneath his mask.Â
âthey catcalled her! they took credit for her work! they made her do all of their reports! they, uh⊠theyââ
âtick tock.â
âthey made sexual jokes about her! talked shit about her during dinners! uh, theyâum, they spread rumors about her!â
âokay,â soonyoung says, waving a hand and nodding. âgood run.â park seems to sigh with relief. âhow about you, though?â
âwhat?â
âhow about you?â soonyoung repeats himself, and even though heâs still slouched casually in his seat, his change of tone makes your boss flinch. âwhat are some things you said and did to her?â
âi⊠i didnâtâŠâ
âuh-uh,â he laughs, wagging a finger at him. âi already know everything, daniel. donât try to lie to me.âÂ
itâs another bluff. you told soonyoung you told him everything, but something about the way you said it never convinced him. he knew you were leaving something out, and if this was his last time with any of your vile colleagues, he might as well try to see what it was you were hiding.Â
âwhatâs it going to be, boss man? are we going slow or are we making it painless?â
âi passed her up for every promotion!â he shouts immediately, wincing when his enthusiasm jostles his hand against the knife. âshe was the most qualified and i passed her up every time!â
soonyoung motions with his hand boredly. âokay⊠and?â
âi told her to suck it up! that boys will be boys! i told her if she wanted to move up, she needed to get used to it!â
soonyoung glares at him from beneath his mask.Â
âiââ he swallows hard, tears flowing down his face.Â
soonyoung sits up, sensing the revelation heâs waiting for on the horizon. he plants both feet on the ground, stands, and stalks over to park until heâs towering right over him. he whips the blanket off his shoulder, balling it in his fist before he rests his hands on your bossâs forearms and leans forward to meet his eyes, ignoring the way he gasps at the pain the movement causes.Â
âyou what?â he asks calmly.Â
âi⊠oh god, iâŠâ he swallows nothing again. âiâm sorryâŠâ
âwhat are you sorry for, daniel?â
âi⊠i told her if she did want a promotion⊠she could do me some favors.â
soonyoungâs blood runs cold in his veins. thatâs not something you ever mentioned to him, and he can imagine why. he wouldnât have just gone on a murderous rampage; he wouldâve blown this entire building up. he thinks he might break his own teeth from how hard he clenches his jaw. after a few moments, he forces himself to release the tension and open his mouth once more.
âwhat kind of favors, daniel?â he asks quietly.
âoh god, please donât make me saâSEXUAL!â he bellows when soonyoung presses a hand to the hilt of his knife, pushing down another inch. âSEXUAL FAVORS!â
âah, there it is,â he grunts, nodding.Â
he stands back up. soonyoung unceremoniously yanks the knife out of parkâs hand, flips it so that itâs blade up once more, and without hesitating, he brings the sharp side down on all four of parkâs fingers. before the man has a chance to scream, he shoves the blanket into his open mouth, muffling any noise he planned on making.
âshhh,â soonyoung mutters almost soothingly. âshhh, youâre fine. itâs just a few fingers. you donât need them where youâre going anyway.â
he pats parkâs head condescendingly two times before hitting the same spot with the blunt end of his knife.Â
âyouâre all just fucking assholes, arenât you?â he asks as blood starts running down your bossâs temple. âis that on the job listing? ârequirements: must be a misogynistic pervertâ?â
he grabs a fistful of parkâs hair, yanking back so that all he could see was the ceiling.Â
âiâm sure you know exactly what happened to the others,â soonyoung says, speaking so close to him, his mask presses up against the side of his face that isnât bleeding. âiâm sure you know all about what i did to them.â
park sobs through the blanket, drool escaping the corners of his lips the harder he tries to speak through the makeshift gag.Â
âi bet you didnât count on her having someone who adored her like this, did you?â he asks, voice low. âdidnât think someone would come punish you for hurting the person they love most in this stupid fucking world?â
âno. he didnât.â
soonyoung freezes at the female voice that cuts through the floor from behind him. your boss starts to thrash with renewed hope that someone has caught him red-handed. his fist tightens around his hair, yanking to shut him up. painstakingly slowly, and without letting park go, soonyoung cranes his neck to look behind him, heart stopping when he sees you there, standing in the moonlight looking as breathtaking as ever.Â
he doesnât dare say a word. under his mask, soonyoung frantically searches your face for any sign that youâll run screaming from him, leaving him alone, never to see you again. he doesnât find anything other than your usual, soft smileââresting lovely faceâ he would call it on his especially sappy days.Â
youâve pretended to be a murdererâs girlfriend dozens of times by now, but soonyoung had no reason to believe you thought any of it was realâthat you suspected him of all the heinous crimes heâs committed for you. as you let the large bag hanging on your shoulder slip off and fall to the floor and you start walking toward them, he weighs his options.Â
he could run, but then what? leave you with a crime scene youâll take the blame for? absolutely not. he could throw himself to the floor begging you for forgiveness, begging you to not turn him in but more importantly, begging you to stay with him. thereâs a tiny, ugly voice that suggests he could also kill you. he shudders, shaking the thought away. if he resorted to that, he would have to follow right after. that had to be his last option.Â
you reach them, and soonyoung knows heâs run out of time. whatever you do or say next will dictate the rest of your lives.Â
when he forces himself to meet your gaze, though, he sees nothing there but absolute fondness and veneration. you rest a palm against his back as he continues leaning over your former boss.Â
âmr. park,â you say, turning your attention to the man bound to the chair now. soonyoung follows your gaze back to the man, whoâs still being forced to stare at the ceiling. he releases his grip on him, allowing him to look at you. his eyes widen in what soonyoung suspects is fear. ânice to see you again under these circumstances. really nice.â
soonyoung feels his heart skip a beat. he straightens up to his full height now, eyes on you as you continue speaking. your hand snakes from his back to his arm, and down, down, down, until your fingers are intertwined with his.Â
âhave you met my better half?â you ask him. âthis is kwon soonyoung.â
he feels like his heart jumps into his throat at that moment, and he fights to keep from choking on nothing. you must feel the way he stills in your hold because you bring his gloved hand to your lips and kiss it gently.Â
your boss starts sobbing twice as hard, throwing what looks to be a restrained tantrum.Â
âiâm sorry,â you say, faking a wince. âyou must have thought i was here to help you, huh?â
soonyoungâs mouth twists into what heâs sure is the largest, most insane smile heâs ever had the pleasure of smiling in his life. the adrenaline and dopamine that suddenly releases in his system makes him feel invincible in a way he never has before. because if you, the adoration of his goddamn life, know who and what he is and you still love him⊠then nothing will ever be able to stop him ever again. nothing stands between him and the entire world now.
âmy bad,â you sigh. âiâm just here to watch you die.â
soonyoung takes that as his cue, lifting his knife toward park. but before he can do anything, your hand comes to his forearm, stopping him. he looks down at you, tilting his head in question. you look up and shake your head.Â
âi want to do it,â you whisper.Â
he doesnât know why he doesnât want to talk to you while his mask is on. whatever it is, he canât say anything as you try to take the knife in your own hand.Â
sensing his hesitation, you smile and nod. âyouâve done so much for me, soonie. will you let me be my own final girl now?â
without a second thought, the tension in his arm dissipates immediately, completely surrendering his weapon to you. you hold his knife in your hand, and seeing it in your grip demolishes whatever last walls he had up between the two of you. you stare down at it like youâre holding a relic, and it takes him a moment to realize youâre imagining the men heâs killed in your name with it.Â
he reaches out, wrapping his hand around yours and tightening your grip on the hilt. your gaze flick up to him and his other hand briefly caresses your cheek. your eyes flutter closed, smile widening for a short moment. when your eyes open, thereâs a fire in them heâs seeing for the first time, and he knows that whoever he walks out of here with is going to be a completely different person than the one he woke up next to this morning.Â
you give him a small nod before turning away from his hold and facing the man whoâs made your life a living hell this entire time.Â
soonyoung decides he doesnât want to watch parkâs face as the light leaves his eyes. instead, he walks around the chair behind him, holding it from behind to keep it still for you, his eyes trained on your face and only your face.Â
the smirk that graces it now is glorious, and it takes everything in him to keep from falling to his knees and kissing the ground you walk on.Â
âsorry, nothing personal,â you say, obviously reciting something heâs said to you before. âgirls will be girls, right?â
soonyoung barely hears the muffled screams that follow. all he can hear is his heart singing as he watches the life, light, and joy this job stole from you come back to you all at once. heâs never been more in love. and he thinks he understands now. this. this is love.Â
it was clear to you that something was escalating inside soonyoung for the last few weeks, and you knew he was gearing up to commit his last crimeâyou were sure of it.Â
you had your suspicions when you asked him to roleplay with you, but it was the week after that you became confident in your intuition. the week after, when authorities finally released the circumstances under which hayden and charles died.Â
you shouldnât have been surprised when you read the dirty talk soonyoung used to get you to cum over and over again practically word for word in the article that detailed their murders. there was no way he would have been able to know all this information before the public did, and lucky guesses were out of the question, especially when every, last thing he told you was listed.
after that, two more of your ex-coworkers died, ones that made particularly lewd comments at you, something you noticed angered soonyoung more intensely than any other kind of offense. it made you feel more flattered than it should haveâhow possessive and jealous he got because of these assholes who thought they had any kind of entitlement to you or your body.Â
soonyoung had ruined you for anybody else long before you knew this truth about him; he had no reason to feel jealous. still, it made you feel so special, and you didnât stop to question the toxicity and unhealthiness of everything youâve been feeling in the last weeksâin the last year.
for the first time in so long, you felt good and you felt safe, and you had no intentions of changing that. youâve been all in on soonyoung since your first date. this changed nothing.Â
so as he started escalating, you started watching. instead of attending job interviews like you claimed to be, you were following him. most of the time, it was just to the writersâ room, but a few times a week, it was to watch him tailing your ex boss.Â
between following him around and snooping through his things, it didnât take long for you to piece together what he was planning, and with how erratic soonyoungâs behavior had gotten since you made the stupid, thoughtless, grave mistake of suggesting knife play in the bedroom, you knew he was going to be prone to mistakes. so you started preparing right alongside him.Â
when his gear disappeared from the creaky floorboard he kept it hidden under, you knew it would be time to act soon. then, today, as your boyfriend kissed you goodbye in the morning, he told you not to wait up; the writers room was going to run late to meet deadlines for next weekâs episode.Â
youâll give it to him; soonyoung was a really good liar. after all, he has kept this secret from you for a good amount of time. and if heâs so comfortable doing this, you imagine it isnât his first time killing either. who knows how long heâs been lying to you?Â
but now that you were looking for the signs, it was easy to tell. he maintained eye contact too well, like he was actively telling himself to refrain from looking away and seeming suspicious. he smiled a little too hard. offered one too many details if you asked a simple follow-up question.Â
âoh okay, what time do you think youâll be home?â
âfuck, not sure, this episode has a lot of rewrites because one of the actors is throwing a bitch fit about his lines, and they want us back at the drawing boardâwell, writing boardâwith, like, three new options for this asshole by tomorrow morning, so. who knows how long that will take. iâll text you when iâm on my way, though, okay? i love you.â
as soon as he was out the door, you were moving.
you made a trip to your old workplace under the guise of needing a copy of your last paystub from HR, which happened to work right next to your team. while you were there, you made sure you were seen on every camera in the lobby, made sure to say hi to several peopleâeven if some of those people were assholes you wish soonyoung would waste too. you allowed stray hairs to fall from your travel hairbrush. you scratched wildly at your skin. you coughed openly. you gave a valid and proper excuse for your DNAâand trace amounts of soonyoungâs DNAâto end up here other than for a murder.
and when no one was looking, you helped yourself to a jay minionâs cubicle while he was away from it. alex. you pocketed his badge, which he had a bad habit of walking around without, and you scheduled an email from his account addressed to your former boss, knowing full well that a lazy idiot like him would not be noticing a scheduled message in his account.
if soonyoung couldnât kill him, life in prison was a good alternative.Â
once you were done with your part, you went home, dropped your phone off so that it couldnât be tracked anywhere but home tonight, and packed a bag of extra clothes. then, you followed your doting boyfriend from his job, and once you saw him tuck your drunken former boss into his own car, you raced back to the office, where you were 99.9 percent sure he would be bringing him back. you scanned in using alexâs badge through the backdoor, where there were no cameras, you made your way to your teamâs floor, and you waited.Â
not long after, when a tall, lean person dressed in the gear youâd found under your boyfriendâs creaky floorboard, walked onto the floor, practically carrying park on his shoulder, it took everything to keep from shrieking and giggling at how well you knew your own boyfriend.Â
you watched as he methodically and carefully tied him to his chair, rolled him to the exact spot he wanted him. you watched as he polished an already incredibly clean knife, shuddering uncomfortably a few times as he did. you wondered if it still bothered himâtaking life. if maybe he wasnât as seasoned as you thought, and the act still took something precious from him.Â
you hated the idea that something as generous as ridding the world of vermin like your ex-teammates could affect soonyoung like that.Â
what you hated even more was how turned on you were watching as he walked back and forth in his disguise, the muscles of his arms and his back still prominent through the tattered robes. but before you could debate jumping out of the shadows and convincing him to just leave and go home with you so you could ride him until dawn, your dumbass boss was waking up again.Â
you honestly didnât know when you were supposed to step out, but the more soonyoungâs love for you shownâthe clearer he made it that he truly would do anything for you, the less you cared about staying hidden.Â
and before you knew it, you were holding soonyoungâs very own knife, standing in front of a very dead daniel park, covered in his blood and laughing so hard, you thought maybe your nervous system was broken. but when the giggles died down and you didnât burst into tears the way you expected you would, you knew you were perfectly fine. better than fine. you were thrilled.Â
âfinally,â you breathe, reaching forward to yank the blanket out of your bossâs mouth, wiping the knife on a cleaner corner. âhere you go.â
you hand it over hilt first toward your boyfriend, whoâs still standing behind park, splatters of blood all over him too. he gently takes the weapon from you, tucking it somewhere within his robes. you watch him carefully, wondering what his face looks like, wondering what heâs thinking. instead, all you get is that permanent scream on his mask as it stares blankly back at you.Â
does he think iâm crazy? does it turn him off? would he rather be the one doing the saving?
you donât voice any of your insecurities, though. youâre far too happy and relieved to ruin this moment with those thoughts. instead, you take the blanket youâre still holding and you dip it in one of parkâs stab wounds until itâs soaked in his blood. you walk to the whiteboard behind his body and swipe at it in broad strokes, stepping back to view your work when youâre done.Â
you look back to your boyfriend to see him looking at the whiteboard.Â
FINAL
not for park or any of the other men soonyoung obliterated like a hurricane passing through, but for you. the final person standing, with the help of a man who loved you enough to make sure it ended this way. you hope he gets it and that heâs appreciating it the way you are.
while he continues staring at the board, you take the time to reach into the pocket of parkâs jacket, fishing his phone out of it. because he treated you like his executive assistant, you knew most of his passwords, and you were banking on it being the same.Â
when his phone unlocks, you breathe a sigh of relief. you navigate to his email, pleased to find alexâs email in his inbox just like you planned for it to be.Â
to: [email protected]
from: [email protected]
subject: ! emergency situation, action needed
body: mr. park, we have a dire situation at the office that requires your attention. a few of the other team members and i will be working late into the night to remedy this; please stop by the office when you can to discuss next steps.
once youâre sure the message is marked read, you wipe the phone free of your prints with the blanket before tucking it back into his pocket. when youâre done, you let the blanket fall to the ground, eyes going back to your boyfriend, whose gaze is back on you now.
soonyoung still doesnât say anything, simply walking to the duffle he left in the far corner. he removes his shoes, replacing them with a disposable shoe cover on each foot, before removing yours and doing the same for you, an act that feels so intimate, youâre tempted to take him right here, in the middle of this gore, effectively ruining all your efforts to keep him from getting caught.Â
he puts the shoes into spare trash bags and tucks them into his duffle before standing and holding his hand out for you to take. your fears that heâs mad you came here dissolve, and you take his gloved hand in yours.Â
he leads you away, picking up your own bag off the floor for you as you pass it. you think heâs leading you out of the building, but instead, you both end up in the showers, an amenity usually meant for commuters or people who went to the gym and worked out in the middle of their work day.
soonyoung sets both of your bags down on one of the benches in the locker room before nodding toward the showers. you follow him wordlessly, heat pooling in your stomach as you do.Â
he leads you into a shower stall, turning on the hot water and letting the water hit the both of you fully clothed. he turns around to face you, his mask wet with blood and water as it stares down at you. you hesitantly lift a hand up to rest on the jaw of it. you look up into the black holes of its eyes, hoping he understands youâre asking if you can remove it for him.Â
when he doesnât stop you, you push up on the mask, lifting it completely off his head. the first thing you notice is that soonyoungâs platinum blonde hair is matted to his forehead with sweat, all of his visible skin slick with it. and when you meet his eyes, youâre immediately rooted to the spot, robbed of all air. his pupils are blown, making his eyes darker than youâve ever seen them as they bore into yours. his mouth is parted, chest heaving as he breathes like heâs been running for hours.Â
without giving you a chance to think of your next move, he grabs the mask and chucks it somewhere behind you before wrapping his hand around the back of your neck and roughly pulling you to him. he cranes down to envelope your lips with his, wasting no time parting them and fervently shoving his tongue into your mouth.Â
it doesnât take long for him to get the both of you naked; youâre not even really sure when it happens, but suddenly, heâs kicking your soiled clothes away from the both of you, his hands going from cradling your face to softly running across your shoulders, your back, your ass, and you realize heâs rinsing the death off of you, all while peppering you with feather light kisses as he does.Â
you hang your head, resting it against his shoulder as you watch red swirl down the drain, until itâs pink, until itâs clear. you sigh deeply at the sensation of the water pelting your skin and soonyoungâs fingertips dancing across every part of you. he presses his erection in between your thighs at the sound of your breath, and it quickly turns into a moan.
you reach to grip his cock in your hand, fisting it tightly. his breath hitches, and you decide itâs time to thank him for everything heâs done for you these last few months. you lift your head up off his shoulder and reach up to press your lips to his once more, gentle and chaste.Â
âthank you,â you whisper. he runs a hand across his face to get water out of his eyes.Â
âfor what?â he asks, voice husky around the first words heâs said to you since the night started.Â
âfor loving me like this,â you answer, pumping your first slowly as you speak. âfor doing all of this for me⊠and for letting me be a part of it too.â
soonyoung closes his eyes, resting his forehead against yours, nothing but the sound of the water and his labored breaths as you stroke him filling the room.Â
âi love you, y/n,â he says in a voice you havenât heard from him before. it sounds small, vulnerable, and emotional, and when he opens his eyes, you arenât surprised to see tears gathered there. âi love you so fucking much.â
you donât think heâs ever said that to you like this. getting him to even use the word âloveâ was like pulling teeth in the beginning of your relationship. now, he says it like heâs free of the trauma heâs tied to the word over the years of his childhood. you tiptoe to kiss the tears out of his eyes.Â
âi love you,â you return. âand i adore you. forever. now⊠let me show you.â
you kiss every bit of skin you can on your way down his body, until youâre on your knees. you look up at him one, last time, melting a little at the affection he stares at you with.
âdonât hold back, okay?âÂ
he curses under his breath before nodding. he reaches one arm across the shower, planting a palm on the wall behind you to steady himself as you take his entire length into your mouth.
âfuck.â
you hollow your cheeks as you slide away, tongue swirling on the underside of his shaft and dragging across the veins of his cock. you wrap one hand at the base tightly before sliding him back in, knowing that taking his entire monster length wasnât going to be sustainable for you or your throat. you blow him like thisâpumping and twisting at the bottom of his shaft with your hand, your other one massaging his ballsâfor only a few moments before soonyoung absolutely loses it.
and ever eager to please you, he follows your instructions and holds nothing back. he palms the back of your head with his free hand and without warning, starts fucking into your mouth roughly. tears stream down your face, mixing with the hot water of the shower and the precum leaking out of soonyoung. the back of your throat starts to burn early on, but still, you want more.Â
your hands grab soonyoungâs ass, bringing him impossibly further into your throat on every thrust. he groans loudly, cursing in between shouts of your name.Â
ây/n,â he breathes, slowing his movements after a few minutes until his hips stutter to a full stop. you frown, looking up at him when he pops his cock out of your mouth. âi donât want to cum in your mouth, baby.â
âwhy not?â you ask dumbly.Â
he laughs, obviously not expecting the question. instead of answering, he pulls you up and onto your feet, steadying you when you realize theyâve fallen asleep from the lack of blood flow. he presses you against the wall, caging you in and pressing his thigh between your legs to keep you standing as you regain the feeling in your legs. you gasp when his quad rests against your clit.Â
âthere are better places to cum,â he finally answers, just barely moving his thigh against you.
the tiny movement is enough to coax another moan out of you, though. his fingers come down to dive in between your folds and trace your slit teasingly back and forth, gathering your arousal. he brings his fingers up to his mouth, shamelessly taking them in and tasting the way he makes you feel. his eyes close as he savors the taste.
âmmm,â he hums fondly like your lust is a five star meal. he opens his eyes, smirking at the way youâre staring at him. âwant to taste?â
you nod eagerly. at this point, youâd take whatever he wanted to give you. you reach forward to kiss him, but he pins your shoulder to the wall with a hand, making you squeak in surprise, and when his other hand comes up your neck and grabs your jaw, tilting it up toward him and forcing your mouth open, you realize what he means and what he wants.Â
you fight your own smirk as you open your mouth wider, letting your tongue hang out as far as it will go. he presses his cock against you at the sight, cursing before he takes your face in both his hands, leans over you, and aims, spitting straight into your mouth. you whine pathetically when you feel it hit the back of your throat, immediately grasping both his arms and grinding down against his thigh while itâs still pressed between your legs.
âsoonie, please,â you mewl, desperately and messily grabbing at whatever you can at this point just to get him closer to getting inside you, including his hair, his neck, his arms, his hipsâanything.
he grabs your wrists when you wonât stop, holding them tightly in between your bodies with one hand, the other cupping your ass and guiding one leg to wrap around his waist, the tip of his cock already teasing your hole.Â
âbehave,â he hisses, squeezing your wrists until they hurt. you donât dare wriggle against his hold. âare you going to be good?â you nod. he immediately releases you, guiding one hand to his shoulder to keep yourself steady.Â
when both of your hands are wrapped around his shoulders, he takes your other leg and wraps it around his waist too, lifting you up and pinning you between him and the wall. he kisses you harshly and recklessly, tongue wrapping itself around yours as his cock starts to push into you.
he doesnât wait until heâs fully buried in you the way he usually does. no, tonight, he canât seem to help himself when he breaks away from you to remind you: âyouâre mine.â
you nod, resting your head back against the wall, nails digging into his shoulders as he pushes in further. âyours,â you gasp. âalways.â
âgod, i love you,â he says for the third time tonight, making the burn feel all the better as he bottoms out. âyouâre so perfect,â he breathes, adjusting to the feeling of your cunt around him. âso fucking tight.â
âfuck me, babyâ is all you have the energy to whisper. and he delivers.Â
he easily bounces you on his dick in time with his own thrusts, the corded muscles of his arms hard, wet, and glistening as he holds you up against the wall. you donât care how loud you are, letting your screams out as they come. at this point, youâre not sure you even care if the police catch you like this and arrest you.Â
all that matters is how soonyoung feels inside of you, how his mouth burns everywhere they press against you, how his fingertips dig into your flesh so hard, you think itâll bruise. he rests his forehead against yours, holding unwavering eye contact with you as he fucks you like itâs simultaneously the first and last time.Â
âmarry me,â he whispers suddenly. âfuck. marry me, y/n.â
you gasp as he thrusts hard, tip kissing your cervix. âa-are you s-seriously asking right now?â
he smirks, kissing you quickly before thrusting even faster and harder. the sounds that come out of your mouth are a pitch higher and nastier. âiâve had a ring for a year. i canât fucking wait anymore. marry me. god, please marry me.â
you donât have to think twice. âyes,â you half moan. âyes, soonyoung. yes, iâllâfuck! iâll marry you!â
the thought does something to the both of you at the same, exact time, and youâre both shouting warnings at each other as you reach your highs. his teeth sink into your collarbone as he comes inside you, your fist closing around the hair at the nape of his neck as you reach your own climax on his dick too.Â
you stay in the same position for a few moments, both trying and failing to catch your breaths.Â
when you finally do, you tap soonyoungâs shoulder to let you down, but he refuses, stubbornly staying inside of you. you frown.Â
âwhat are you doing? we should shower and leave,â you point out, remembering thereâs an incredibly deceased man outside.
âthe longer i stay here, the longer my cum stays inside you, and the greater the chances i just got you pregnant,â he says cheekily.Â
you glare at him. âsoonyoung, iâm on birth control.â
he glares right back.
âokay, fine,â you relent, laughing. the sensation makes soonyoung wince as you clench around his overstimulated cock a little. âkinda hot, thoughâyou wanting to get me pregnant.â
he raises an eyebrow at you. âoh? another kink of yours?â
you blush, knowing youâve been somewhat of a sex fiend since discovering your fantasy of having a murderous boyfriendâyour reality now, you suppose. âmaybe,â you murmur.Â
soonyong grins, kissing the pout away from your lips. âgood. iâm going to keep trying.â
âokay, well, maybe we should try when weâre not in active danger of going to prison for life?â
âright.â
you both shower quickly, bagging the soiled clothes and changing into the outfits you both packed separately. you watch in awe as soonyoung takes out a blacklight and some kind of cleaning agent to get rid of any blood you both tracked into the shower. most of the evidence, it turns out, is right there in the stall, where his cum leaked out of you.Â
when heâs done cleaning, you both head to your cars, each parked in different lots, agreeing to meet at home after you pick up drive-thru dinner and he goes back to work to pick up his phone. and when you do get home, you find that soonyoung beat you there, the apartment dark save for a handful of candles. heâs on one knee when you enter, a small box open and turned toward you, the ring he claimed he got a year ago right there, staring you in the face.Â
âi love you,â he says. âiâll spend the rest of my days loving you the way you deserve to be. adoring you with everything i have. will you allow me the honor of doing that as your husband?â
you donât know how many times you scream yes at him as you drop the bags of fast food and throw yourself into his arms, the two of you collapsing into a pile of giggles and kisses.
TOP STORY âą 2 MIN READ
Copycat serial killer sentenced to life in prison on three counts of torture, six counts of first degree murder
By Gale Weathers
Police investigating the torture and murder of Daniel Park, senior vice president of marketing at Loomis, Inc. two years ago.
Two years after a spree of murders rocked the local community, Alex Cho, former Loomis, Inc. employee, has been sentenced to life in prison, despite pleading not guilty to all charges.
Dubbed the "copycat prank call killer" for the similarities in mutilation amongst victims, Cho was found guilty on all counts of torture and first degree murder for the deaths of six fellow Loomis, Inc. employees, including his boss, Daniel Park, former senior vice president of marketing. Arrested just days after Park's murder, Cho was the authorities' main suspect since day one, according to a statement made by Police Chief Macher following the sentencing.
"Cho's name was on the board since the tragic murder of our first victim, Jay Lang," said Macher, "but as his spree escalated and became more frenzied, he became careless. The evidence against him became insurmountable after the death of Daniel Park."
Though evidence left behind by Cho at the previous murders still has not been disclosed by authorities to this day, his involvement in Park's torture and murder is clear. On the night of Park's death, Cho lured him to the office after-hours under the guise of a work emergency. Once there, Cho ambushed and tortured his boss before stabbing him almost 30 times and leaving his body to be found by other employees the next morning.
Police were able to arrest Cho early on, thanks to his email trail and the use of his badge at the Loomis, Inc. headquarters, just minutes before Park entered the building himself.
When asked about the sentencing of their former employee, a Loomis, Inc. representative told TOP STORY:
"Even two years on, we continue to mourn our tragically lost employees. As such, Loomis offers all our associates ongoing mental health resources and grief counseling. We also honor these victims with annual donations to various campaigns, including cancer research, LGBT support, and anti-bullyingâall causes our former SVP of marketing Daniel Park championed. As for the sentenced individual, Loomis declines to comment, but ensures you that we are taking extra precautions and measures to vet all new employees, with annual mental evaluations of all existing employees. We are committed to the safety of our people, our clients, and all of our stakeholders."
As far as his "copycat" reputation goes, Cho denies drawing inspiration from the "prank call killer," though he continues to deny his involvement in the crimes at all. As of the publication of this article, the "prank call killer" remains an at-large, inactive serial killer, with the last victim dating back over 10 years ago.
Cho will be transferred to a maximum state prison later this month, where he will serve his life sentence with no chance of parole.
ââââ
Share this story on social media
đïž a portion from an early draft of the script for cult classic horror movie, âadoration,â by renowned screenwriter kwon soonyoung
HOSHI (clicks out of video news story of andrew's arrest) i can't believe you did all that for me.
YOUR ALIAS (smiles, scratching his scalp comfortingly with her left hand, eyes admiring the ring on her finger as she does) i told you, i would do anything for you. you protect me, i protect you, right?
HOSHI (smiles, leaning forward to press his lips to hers) always.
fades into black. credits roll.
...
POST-CREDITS SCENE
a long while later, audience finds hoshi and his wife in the kitchen of a much larger home now, seemingly as in love and as playful as they always were. they are interrupted by their teen daughter running into the room, with her backpack still on, screaming and crying. both of them immediately tend to her.
YOUR ALIAS baby, what's wrong? what happened?
DAUGHTER (shrieks) it's tiffany! she's going around telling everybody i'm sleeping with the entire baseball team! i've never even had my first kiss and she knows that!
hoshi stills, face becoming eerily blank. you both exchange a look.
YOUR ALIAS you're only 15... why on earth are they talking about those kinds of things?
DAUGHTER (throws mom an incredulous look) all of them have already lost their virginities, mom!
YOUR ALIAS (pinching the bridge of her nose) dear god.
DAUGHTER she gave my number to a bunch of dudes and now they're calling and texting and blowing up my phone asking me when i'm free to do... gross things! (wails)
YOUR ALIAS we'll change your number, baby, don't worry. and i'll meet with your principal and make sure she knows we won't tolerate this behavior, okay? are you alright if i talk to tiffany's mom?
DAUGHTER no, please don't, she's so vindictive. i know it'll just get worse.
hoshi exhales slowly.
HOSHI okay, we won't do anything you aren't comfortable with, but... you're also not going to let her treat you like that, do you hear me?
it's clear their daughter is a daddy's girl when her crying immediately stops and she nods.
HOSHI no one hurts you, understand?
YOUR ALIAS nobody.
DAUGHTER (whispers, still sniffling) nobody.
HOSHI if you won't let us talk to tiffany's parents, we're going to have to show you how to defend yourself, baby. how to stand up for yourself.
YOUR ALIAS (smiles) your daddy is really good at that. you'll let him help, right? (daughter nods) good, go get cleaned up and i'll order whatever takeout you want.
DAUGHTER (immediately) thai.
YOUR ALIAS thai it is. go on.
their daughter retreats from the kitchen, still sniffling as she goes up to her bedroom.
YOUR ALIAS we aren't going to stoop so low as to kill a teenager, are we?
HOSHI (snorts, wraps one arm around her waist) no, we aren't. but kids like that only learn behavior like that from one place.
YOUR ALIAS their parents.
HOSHI mhm.
YOUR ALIAS you have the key to the storage unit?
HOSHI mhm. (plants one kiss on her cheek before grinning and nodding to the front door) i'll drive.
cuts to black with the sound of a piercing scream.
a/n: credit for the news story photo goes to unsplash. all other photos taken from pinterest, ctto. okay bye, i don't want to talk about how crazy i feel LMFAO.
summary:Â 5 weddings in one year. 5 dates you saved for you and your boyfriend to attend â before he cheated. and now, you had to force your best friend, vernon, to go with you. but after losing a bet, mingyu agrees to take vernonâs place and be your date. this wasnât how any of this was supposed to go, but you guess you could settle going with your only one-night-stand from college.
warnings: oral (f!recieving), fingering, 69ing, unprotected sex, reader on top, praise, mingyu has boyfriend dick<3, sub-ish!mingyu, also power bottom!mingyu đ, multiple sex scenes, marijuana smoking/shotgunning, marijuana-induced horniness lol, one bed trope, forced proximity, miscommunication, HEAVY mutual pining. nsfw (minors / ageless blogs dni).
word count:Â 19.9k
note:Â first things first, APOLOGIESSSSS for this taking so long. I've had a lot going on (which I know just about everyone says) and I was lowkey struggling to write this, even tho I was so amped for it. nevertheless, I'm so glad I was able to focus and finish it, because I care so much for these two and I desperately wanted to share their story with you đ per usual, please expect angst with your smut, and if you cry, I will not judge you and honestly would love to hear it lol. enjoy friends! (taglist posted at the bottom.)
in rotation: bmf, sza / mona lisa, mxmtoon / gorgeous, taylor swift / moonstruck, enhypen / finally // beautiful stranger, halsey
Your mom had told you that the friends you make in your first year of college stay with you for life, but you didnât expect that when you met Vernon. He had been shy, refusing to speak to anyone in your orientation group, but knowing glances turned into sitting next to each other, which then had you both whispering jokes back and forth, until finally, he told you his name. Hansol Chwe to be exact, but he insisted on âjust Vernon.â By the second semester of freshman year, you both had become inseparable. He was your best friend, been with you through some of the toughest moments of your adult life, and you wouldnât trade him for the world.
Vernonâs friendship survived through many of your boyfriends, and you knew heâd outlast many more. He experienced some of the worst ones â a.k.a. the men who refused to believe you two were just friends â and also the boring ones â the one guy who used you to get to him. But none of them had pissed him off more than your most current breakup: the man who was three years your senior and cheated on you with a 22-year-old. You assumed by age 27, youâd know how to pick âem, but that was clearly wrong.
Now you were left to your own devices with five weddings to attend this year. In retrospect, maybe there was a few you couldâve skipped, but you hated saying no in situations like this. You had agreed to go to all of them with your now ex-boyfriend in mind, placing a 2 on the inviteâs attending line. Per usual, Vernon had stepped up and begrudgingly offered himself to be your date.
So why were you now meeting up with Kim Mingyu to discuss the dates of said five weddings?
You first met Mingyu when Vernon joined a fraternity in sophomore year to make more friends. âI canât just have you. I need to have at least some friends that are dudes,â he said, which made you reply, âThatâs the toxic masculinity talking.â And boy, had Mingyu been the epitome of that statement. Him and Vernon had connected instantly, sharing the same major and an affinity for art girls. You had never really gotten along with him like Vernon had hoped, but he was ⊠attractive, to say the least.
Okay, maybe you had a crush on him. You had eyes.
But it was college and you both were on the cusp of 20. It was so hard to confess feelings back then, especially to someone like Kim Mingyu. Who you didnât particularly enjoy talking to in the first place. However ⊠he was probably one of the hottest men youâd ever seen; made in a lab for every young girlâs fantasy. Sometimes you couldnât help but just stare at him, admiring his perfect teeth or the way his honey-gold skin shined in the afternoon sunlight. (You thanked your lucky stars that Vernon joined the college football team alongside Mingyu, just so you could secretly ogle him during practice.)
Suffice to say, you did eventually hook up. In the most cliche way possible, you had both gotten a little too tipsy at the first frat party of senior year and wound up in Mingyuâs dorm, locking out his roommate for the entire night. It almost felt weird, realizing your attraction had been reciprocated, but he hardly said a word to you come morning. In fact, he never mentioned it again, period, choosing to avoid you except in group settings with Vernon. You werenât a fool; you were quick to realize it meant nothing to him, just another notch on his bedpost.
Mingyu was every girlâs dream, but Mingyu was also uncommitted.
And he was walking towards you right now.
You looked up from your phone after stalking â looking through Mingyuâs Instagram. You never followed him, never checked in on him after graduation, but you knew how close he still was with Vernon. He even posted a picture with him recently. You rolled your eyes. Despite his long hair, you recognized Mingyu instantly as he went up to the barista and ordered a coffee. You studied him for a moment, noticing that there was a curl to his hair and the way those dark stands hung around his eyes. His skin was as perfect as ever and â goddamn, did he get bigger? He was wearing a jacket over his t-shirt and you could still tell how big his muscles were.
When he finally looked over his shoulder and your eyes connected, his face remained unchanged, if not a little awkward. He walked up to you, rubbing at the back of his neck, and said your name as if it were a question. âYeah. Hi, Mingyu,â you replied with a wave. âItâs been a while.â
âFive years since graduation,â he added, pulling out the chair across from you and plopping down. âSo you stopped putting those blonde highlights in your hair?â
Your eye twitched. Before you could spit out a response, a cute, dark-haired barista came over and set a fresh mug of coffee in front of him, completely ignoring that your own was practically empty. Mingyu flashed her a smile, showing off his pretty canines as she walked away. You frowned.
Vernon had told you last night that Mingyu wasnât the same guy you knew in college, but you begged to differ.
Turning back to you, he took a sip from his mug and asked, âWhy did you want to meet up again?â
âBecause my best friend is an asshole and you lost a bet.â
âOh, yeah. That.â He nodded.
You almost didnât believe Vernon when he told you. You knew he didnât exactly want to be your date to all these weddings and probably felt like he had to, but he did offer so you didnât think much of it. Until he told you last week that he put all his guest invites on the line while playing a drinking game with Mingyu, which the latter lost. So now Kim Mingyu, your college one-night-stand that was scared of commitment, was committing to being your date to several weddings this year.
Kill me now, you thought.
âI thought drinking games and making silly bets like this didnât happen once your frontal lobe formed,â you said, and his dark eyes flickered up to yours.
âThatâs where youâre wrong,â he cleared his throat and set the mug down again. âMen never really grow up.â
You crossed your arms over your chest and sat back in your chair. âApparently,â you muttered under your breath. âHow do you have the time to actually commit to this? Donât you have a girlfriend or something?â
âOne,â he held up a single finger, âI take bets very seriously and Iâm not a sore loser. Itâs only removing five weekends out of the year for me. No biggie. And two,â he lifted another finger, âNo.â
You raised a brow. âWell, I guess that answers all my questions.â
Mingyu stared at you for a moment, running those two fingers over his bottom lip. You suddenly had a flashback to that night, remembering his hands all over you, remembering his fingers plunging inside and curling â
Not the time.
âDonât you have a boyfriend? Why put down two people on these RSVPs you sent back and then force just anybody to be your date?â He fought the urge to smile, trying to dig a little deeper into you. You werenât falling for it this time. âI love the guy, but I know Vernon wasnât your first choice to accompany you.â
âMy ex and I broke up,â you replied. âNot much to it.â
Intrigued, he sipped his coffee again. âWhy?â
âItâs none of your business, Mingyu.â
âWell, as your new date ââ
âDrop it,â you said, voice taking on a new tone. âIâm serious.â
Mingyu raised his hand in surrender, and you shook off your anger. This was supposed to be a friendly, quick conversation, but it was seemingly moving off the rails. A sigh escaped your mouth before you asked, âSo you said this is only taking five weekends out of the year. What do you do with your time? Are you working?â
âI thought I answered all your questions.â
You narrowed your eyes.
He chuckled softly, exposing those canines once again. His smile was so ⊠ugh, you needed to stop getting distracted. âI work at a restaurant four days a week as a cook, and then teach flag football at a rec facility the rest of the time. Iâve been trying to save up to open my own restaurant for years, but I got the time to be a makeshift wedding date.â
You knew Mingyu had always loved to cook â you remembered when heâd been the resident chef at the fraternity â but to hear he was still passionate almost ⊠melted you a little. Almost. You were dedicated to not being too swayed by Mingyuâs pretty words. This was a deal and that was the end of it.
âI see,â you nodded, uncrossing your arms to play with the handle of your still empty mug. âIâve been working at the same marketing agency since college. Pays the bills, you know?â
Mingyu gave you a knowing look before running a hand through the long strands. âAlways so committed.â
Your lips pursed. âOne of us has to be.â
âSpeaking of commitment,â he said without missing a beat, pulling his phone from the pocket of his jeans. âWhat are the dates for those weddings again?â
Save the Date for the wedding of Choi Seungcheol and Holland Levine: February 28th
It was a rainy Sunday in February. Your coworker, Choi Seungcheol, was getting married today at a local venue on the outskirts. His girlfriend, Holland â otherwise known as, Hinge Holland, when he met her on the dating app 3 years ago â was a little kooky and asked for them to be eloped that morning. Seungcheol was too in love to say no; heâd do anything she asked. They were married early morning, and lucky for you and Mingyu, all you had to attend was a reception. It was a nice way to test the waters of this deal before anything got too crazy.Â
Mingyu had picked you up in his truck, and together struggled to help lift you inside with your dress and heels on. As he drove away from the city and into a more rural area, he commented, âYour coworker must be real whipped to agree to a reception here.â
âWhat are you talking about?â You looked through your phone for the address Seungcheol had sent you months ago. âI thought the reception was at some small venue.â
Mingyu said your name, and you glanced over, seeing the smile on his face. âItâs a VFW owned by someone in his girlfriendâs family.â
You realized just how right he was when he pulled up to a spot in a VFW parking lot, seeing a crowd of Hollandâs family pour into the post. You knew what the inside of a VFW looked like; you had your sweet 16 at one. But going to a wedding reception at one was a whole different story. Were the walls so old that theyâd crumble once the DJ dared to play Dancing Queen?
Rain pounded from the sky, making the cold February wind even more chilly. Mingyu rounded the truck and opened your door, making sure to hold an umbrella above your head as you slid out of the seat. He looked ⊠okay, he looked extremely handsome in his suit, tailored exactly to his body. You were in an old, off-the-shoulder black dress with mesh sleeves that were doing nothing in this wet cold. This wedding had crept up on you, and before you knew it, you remembered you didnât have any new dresses to wear. And while it looked nice, the dress just barely zipped and you had to keep pulling up the neckline. Clearly, you had grown a bit since the last time you worn this. Probably in college.
Mingyu was staring at you now, letting his eyes wander down, and you were yanking at the neckline again. He didnât deserve to see more of your cleavage. He whispered, âYou look âŠâ
âJust come on,â you cut him off, tugging him in the direction of the VFW. He struggled to keep up for a moment, rushing to hold the umbrella above both of you.Â
As soon as you both walked inside, you realized just how dressed up you were compared to the place. The building looked like it hadnât been updated since the 1990s. There was, at least, a huge buffet-style food setup in the corner and a man so old that he probably had one foot in the grave behind the bar. A sign in front of him said, OPEN BAR, written in thick sharpie. Various family members were congregating at tables, while the DJ â who looked like a Pitbull impersonator â was setting up at the head of the room.Â
Seungcheol ran over the second he saw you meandering through tables. He had the biggest smile on his face, tugging his new wife over to introduce her to you before wiggling his eyebrows at you when he noticed Mingyu on your arm. Even Holland couldnât help but ogle him. Seungcheol was one of your closest coworkers, so it wasnât weird when he asked, âWhoâs the beefcake?â
Mingyu was too busy dealing with Hollandâs questions to hear you reply, âDonât ask. Iâve cycled through many options before I was forced to bring him.â
âIâm sure it was quite difficult for you,â he snorted, before carefully pulling his wifeâs hand off of Mingyuâs and introducing himself. Not long after, he was ushering her away to start making speeches.Â
You and Mingyu found your seat quickly, and luckily enough, you were sat with most of your coworkers. Every single one was looking at Mingyu like he was a piece of meat, but he didnât seem to notice as he had a friendly conversation with each of them. You struggled to not roll your eyes. How was he perfect with everyone? Maybe your dislike of him was irrational and unwarranted, maybe he did change. But ⊠ugh, could he fuck up for once?
Your coworker, Minghao, sat to your left, watching Mingyu converse with the young assistant â Amelia, right? â who was very clearly batting her eyes at him. Leaning towards you, Minghao whispered, âI thought you were bringing Vernon?â
Minghao was one of the few people you told about your breakup, as well as Vernon and of course, your girlfriends. It wasnât like you to go around everywhere and post on social media about your breakup; it wasnât anyoneâs business. But Minghao gave great advice, and he was one of the first people that helped you get over the heartbreak. He wasnât just a coworker. He became a trusted friend.
Turning your head, you said, âWould you believe me if I told you that he lost a bet?â
âConsidering who you ended up with,â he chuckled, âIâd say itâs a win in your favor.â
âHeâs not that great.â
âThen you might want to pull Amelia off of him before she starts sucking his face.â
The reception ended at an early hour thankfully. Most of the elderly guests were falling asleep anyway. Mingyu was a class act, per usual, trying to get you up and out of your seat to dance with him, but the last thing you wanted to do was dance to Toxic by Britney Spears in front of your boss at the marketing agency. Instead, he took the lead to asking Seungcheolâs mom to dance, and made Ameliaâs day when he asked her to join. Minghao only continued to laugh when you rejected each of Mingyuâs advances.
Once 10 PM rolled around and you both were exiting the doors of the aging VFW, you noticed the rain hadnât let up. In fact, it seemed to have gotten even worst. You had to run to Mingyuâs truck with him holding the umbrella above both of you and almost trip over your dress as you hopped up inside the cab. Assuming it would be fine to drive, just a few minutes in the rain left you both realizing that it might be extremely unsafe to drive back to the city in this weather. You really couldnât argue with Mingyu when he suggested you stay the night at a motel right down the road.Â
The woman behind the front desk at the motel was chewing so loud that you thought the wad of bubblegum between her teeth might be larger than your palm. She informed you both that the only rooms available were ones with a single queen-sized bed. As much as you desperately wanted two, youâd take what you could get. She started grabbing both of your informations to check in when a loud bolt of lightning cracked, followed by a crash of thunder. You instantly gripped Mingyuâs arm, and he paused signing his name to look down at you.
âAre you scared of thunder?â He asked playfully.
Realizing how tight you were holding on, you quickly removed your hand. âNo, Iâm ⊠itâs fine.â
His bicep felt so much harder than anticipated. All muscle.Â
Stop that.
The front desk attendant gave you an actual metal key to open your room, the number dangling from a kitschy pendant. This was the kind of motel where you needed to venture outside to get to your room, and with your arms locked together, Mingyu led you both through the pouring rain to the right building. He shoved the key in the lock, immediately opening the door and allowing you to walk inside first.
The room was smaller than expected. The heat was hardly circulating and you were still shivering. A queen-sized bed was situated in front of an old RCA TV, decorated with a comforter that looked strangely similar to the one from the 80s that your mom had given you when you first moved out. The room smelled like bleach and all you could hear was the rain on the roof. Noticing you shiver, Mingyu walked over to the thermostat and adjusted the heat.
âMaybe this was a bad idea,â you said, hugging your arms around yourself.
Mingyu pointed to the large window by the door. âI canât drive in that. It takes an hour to get back to the city and I can hardly see the road.â
âOkay, well ââ
Lightning struck again, painting the window white, and you jumped. Mingyu shook his head and walked over, closing the shades over the glass. He looked down at you, and you were acutely aware that he was the kind of person who could say everything just with his eyes. âBetter?â He asked, a smile playing at his pink lips.
He was so close that you could smell his cologne and â god dammit, you were such a sucker for men that smelled good. He smelled like violets mixed with smokey sandalwood, spicy and musky. Whatever you were going to quip back died on your tongue, leaving you to reply, âI canât sleep in my dress. I have nothing to wear to bed.â
Walking over to the tiny closet, Mingyu spotted a robe hanging up next to the vintage ironing board. He placed it in your arms and remarked, âTake a shower and put this on.â
âAre you saying I smell?â
He laughed. âNo, youâre shivering and itâll help warm you up.â
You nodded, heading off to the bathroom and shutting the door. As you slipped off your dress and let it pool onto the tile, you realized how antagonizing you were being for no reason. Mingyu had been nothing but nice to you, but you were suspecting him to switch-up at any moment. Maybe Vernon was right, or maybe you just needed to take a chill pill.
Mingyu was helping you out, after all.
After taking the warmest shower of your life and probably using all of the hot water in the motel, you walked out into the room with your robe tied firmly around your waist. The cotton smelled like mothballs and you hardly left an inch of skin showing. Granted you werenât naked underneath, but you wouldnât give him the satisfaction of seeing your underwear. Again. After five years.Â
He was wearing only a tank top and boxers while setting up a makeshift bed on the floor. You struggled to maintain focus with him looking ⊠well, like that, and eventually spoke up, âWhat are you doing?â
He hardly jumped at hearing your voice. âI figured it would just be easier if I slept on the floor. Trust me, Iâve slept in far worse places.â
âMingyu, you donât have to do that,â you sighed, pulling back the covers and tossing the mismatching throw pillows on the floor.Â
âItâs not a big deal.â
âI know, but itâs just ââ
Thunder clashed outside, sounding like pots and pans clanging together, rattling your bones.
Your eyes connected with Mingyuâs, and you pointed to the empty side of the bed. âSleep in this bed right now.â
âYes, maâam.â
You both agreed â more like, you told Mingyu and he listened â to place a wall of pillows between you two, leaving you on the edges of the bed. You curled up into yourself, your spine facing him, as Mingyu laid on his back and pinched the bridge of his nose. The rain was so loud. The thunder was deafening. You considered plugging your fingers in your ears as you slept.
Mingyu was shifting on the small sliver of mattress he had, wishing internally that he brought a joint or two with him. This bed was so uncomfortable that he probably wouldnât sleep. But hopefully, you would. Although that was seeming highly unlikely from the way your back tensed with every boom of thunder.
He watched you from the corner of his eye, and eventually, you did stop shaking. Soft snores filled the room, replacing the sound of the rain. And then Mingyu felt himself relax, swiftly falling asleep with his arm thrown above his head.
Despite the pillow wall you built, you woke up with your head on his chest.
Mingyu had wanted to tell you how beautiful you looked that day, but he couldnât find the courage to finish his sentence.
Save the Date for the wedding of Lee Chan and Adrianna Olson: April 4th
Tapping your freshly manicured nails on your bare arm, you leaned against the passenger side door of your car and huffed. You uncrossed your arms, beginning to pace outside Mingyuâs apartment building. The ceremony today started in two hours and you were about ninety minutes from the venue. Not to mention, there was only a matter of time before one of his neighbors showed up, forcibly removing you from the parking spot in front of the building you definitely did not live in. What the hell was Mingyu doing anyway? He said heâd be down ten minutes ago.Â
You tugged off your heels, realizing theyâd be a bitch to drive in, and pulled your sneakers from the back seat. Your floral, strapless sundress blew in the Spring breeze. Your curls â that looked like they couldâve been done by a toddler â whisked off your bare shoulders as you stepped into your favorite Nikes.Â
âSorry.â
Popping your head up, you halted while shoving the back door closed. You blinked, assuming your eyes were deceiving you, but there he was, sprinting down the front steps of his building with freshly chopped hair.
Mingyu was quickly walking over to shove his duffle in your backseat, pulling at his tie, when you leaned in and placed your hand on his head. Yep, that was his real hair. Those long locks that had reached his chin were gone, replaced by a hairstyle that was similar to how he looked in college.Â
âI know weâre running late,â he apologized, letting your fingers sink into the strands for a moment, âbut do you have to ââ
âThis is not about that.â You removed your hand, leveling a look at him. âYou cut your hair.â
Mingyu raised a brow. âIt was getting long.â
You paused, blinking at him. âWhy didnât you warn me of your new look?â
âI didnât think I had to?â He shrugged, genuinely confused as to why you were questioning him. âMy hair had gotten even longer since February, so I just thought Iâd freshen up for you ââ
You completely missed his words â for you, heâd freshened up for you â because you were already interrupting him. âWell, itâs just â it might look weird in pictures because my hair is up and your hair is so short. And Iâm already going to have so many people looking at us wondering why my ex, whoâs name I put on the invite, isnât here. And I just want to eliminate as much attention as possible. And, well â and ââ
Mingyu placed both hands on your shoulders. His palms were large, practically burning into your exposed skin. âAre you overthinking?â
âNo, I âŠâ
When your voice trailed off, Mingyu hesitated for a moment longer and then slid his hands off. âVernon told me that you dated the groom. Chan, right?â
Of-fucking-course, Vernon told him. Your lips pursed before you replied, âWe were friends before that, and we only dated for like a couple months in college. I introduced him to the woman heâs marrying.â
âThen why are you so nervous?â
âI think I have a lot of reasons to be nervous these days.â You continued to stare at him, waiting for him to come up with another quippy remark, but it seemed he contested and shoved his hands into the pockets of his suit. The same tailored suit he wore to the wedding in February, a few loose threads at the seams. âLetâs get going. Weâll be in the car for a while,â you said, rounding your car and hopping inside the driverâs seat.
As Mingyu dealt with finding room for his duffle in your trunk, you took this small second to text Vernon.
You: your friend is infuriating
You: also Iâm never going to forgive you for telling him that I dated chan
Vernon: youâll get over it lol
Vernon: is that the only reason why heâs infuriating?
You: HAIRCUT
Vernon: oh I probably shouldâve told you about that when I saw him last week
Vernon: sorry :/
You closed your texts when Mingyu hopped in the passenger seat, turning on your music to drown out your thoughts. The drive was long and you were lucky that you got to the venue with ten minutes to spare. You parked the car in a haste, running to your back seat and quickly tugging your heels back on. You chucked your sneakers onto the car floor, almost hitting Mingyu in the face when he went to grab his phone from the same area. Locking your car, you grabbed his arm and yanked, both of you running towards the venue attached to a pretty hotel. Mingyu, even with his long legs, was struggling to keep up. He was also slightly impressed that you could run so fast in heels, and that was definitely the only reason why he was staring at your legs. He wasnât admiring how long they looked when the wind lifted your skirt and he got a flash of your calf.
Even from your seat in the back of the ceremony, you could see Chanâs face light up as Adrianna was escorted down the aisle. She was wearing a vintage wedding dress, the veil sheer enough to see how beautiful she was underneath, and Chan was eager enough to lift it as soon as they said, âI do.â Adrianna looked like she hadnât aged a day since school, and you could probably say the same for Chan. But he did manage to finally remove the earrings he got six years ago, which made you giggle to yourself.
Mingyu pretended not to notice.
Most of the people at the wedding were old friends from undergrad, even a few Mingyu knew in passing. Every time you were approached, you prepared yourself for the same question: âWhere is He Who Will Not Be Named?â Or, for those that actually knew Mingyu: âSince when did you know Gyu?â You werenât sure how much longer you could fake a smile and laugh, pretend that your heart still wasnât sore from the breakup, rehash the same words over and over again. It was tiring; you were tired.Â
Same explanation. Same heartbreak. You wouldnât be surprised if the whole planet knew of your breakup by now. You didnât announce it anywhere, besides telling your family and close friends. It was natural for people to be curious; you had been with your ex for a couple years, enough for your family to assume that heâd propose. But then he cheated, and you found out, and you were left in pieces, tied to Kim Mingyu as your date for a full year of weddings.
You just didnât want to keep on doing this, explaining yourself ten times over, realizing that everyone was looking at you with interest. Maybe a second glass of champagne would be a good distraction âŠ
âWanna dance?â
You looked up from the rim of your empty glass. Mingyu had knocked you out of your daze, laying out a hand for you to take. The reception was lively with family and friends mingling on the dance floor, but Mingyu had still noticed you alone at the table, lost in your thoughts. Had he always been this attentive, or was he just prone to watching you?
Ignoring your internal monologue, you took his hand, allowing him to lead you to the dance floor. Just as Mingyu was about to place his hand on your waist, the song changed, switching to a more upbeat track you used to blast in college. You immediately started laughing at all the older folks trying to follow the beat, and then found Chan with his wife, shimmying on the dance floor. Mingyu pinched the bridge of his nose, but found himself beaming when he finally saw the smile grace your features. He didnât let go of your hand, let you twirl him to the song that took you back to the musty basement of a frat party.
Chan, at some point, had managed to dance over in your direction, bumping into you with a big grin. âI knew all the alumni here would love this,â he shouted over the music. âDo you remember when you puked outside a window once at some party and you said that it was this song that induced it?â
You were surprised when Mingyu said, âYes,â at the same time as you. Both you and Chan glanced at him, eyebrows raised, until he added, âThat was at one of my parties. I cleaned your vomit off the windowsill!â
The four of you erupted in laughter. Even Adrianna remembered that party, considering that was the night you drunkenly introduced her to Chan. She eventually pulled you away from Mingyu, leading you towards her group of bridesmaids so you all could dance together. But your eyes couldnât help but find Mingyuâs across the floor, and then he was looking at you, and â god dammit, staring at him felt like a crime youâd consider going to jail for.
Everyone was looking at him, but he was looking at you.Â
Actually, Mingyu couldnât seem to take his eyes off you. Not once.
He stared at you as if it was just you two, as if you were stripped bare before him, just for his eyes to see. You could tell from the way he bit his lip while smiling. He looked at you as if you were naked.
Soon enough, you were slipping through the crowd and by his side once again. He was now leaning against the wall by the open bar, nursing a scotch. The party was winding down; all the older family members had left, leaving Chan and Adrianna â plus a few other young couples â swaying to a classic Ed Sheeran song. It wouldnât be long until they ended the night with Canât Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley. The time war nearing 11 PM.Â
Slinking beside him, he offered the glass to you and you took a sip, wincing at the burn. You stuck out your tongue. âHow can you drink that so smoothly?â
âYears of practice,â he replied, and then flicked your nose in a way that shouldnât make you blush. But you definitely did.Â
You blinked up at him, admiring how pretty he was in the faint, yellow light. Actually, he was pretty in every light, but you liked to find any excuse to admire him. Even if you denied it.
âWanna get out of here?â You asked then, digging your nails into your palms. So afraid of rejection after all these years, even though he agreed to be here. âI think the reception is going to end soon anyway.â
âYeah, sounds good.â He set his half empty glass on a random table and straightened his back before adding, âWhatever youâre comfortable with.â
God, you needed to get it together. Those words were the bare minimum, but when he said them in that slightly muffled voice, it made your nails pinch the inside of your hands harder.
You both stood on opposite sides of the elevator, dragging up, up, up to your room on the seventeenth floor. Your eyes connected. A smile played at his lips. An unspoken tension brewing between the two of you. A feeling you didnât want to be there in the first place, but something you couldnât simply ignore.Â
This couldnât be happening. Not today. Not tonight. Not ever again.
He opened the door for you, allowing you to slip inside and grab your bag. While he rifled through his duffle, you brought your bag into the bathroom and leaned against the sink. You allowed yourself a moment to just breathe. Maybe if you kept exhaling like this, you would release all the tension from your body. You knew how silly it sounded, but desperate times called for desperate measures. You stared at your reflection in the mirror, turning your face from side to side. Was it the makeup that made him look at you that way sometimes? Perhaps he still had a fondness for lipgloss, like he did back in the day.
When you finally stopped studying your appearance, you wiped off your makeup and tugged on a pair of loose pajamas. Wearing these would be so much more comfortable â and less awkward â than the robe you wore after the last wedding. You still had nightmares about that. Carefully tiptoeing out of the bathroom, you expected to find Mingyu already in one of the two full size beds, scrolling through his phone and ignoring the noise you naturally made. But he was on the deck just outside your room, smoke billowing from his mouth.Â
You stood near the unoccupied bed, balancing on the balls of your feet, as you debated your options. A smart person would go right to sleep, leave him to his business. You chewed on your bottom lip nervously.
Despite the slight warmth to the air, you threw on a hoodie, scared of the possibility of your nipples showing through the thin fabric of your t-shirt. You slid open the door and immediately closed it, preventing any smoke from getting into the room. He didnât turn; he knew exactly who was behind him. His back muscles flexed underneath his suit jacket, the joint dangling between his lips as he prayed for his lighter to work again.
âYou probably shouldnât be smoking in this suit,â you said, saddling up beside him.
He chuckled, finally taking a long drag. âI promise to get it dry cleaned before our next adventure.â
Before our next adventure. You bit the inside of your cheek.
Your eyes didnât leave the joint now sitting between two of his fingers. (Jeez, were they always that big?) He let more smoke filter from his lips and into the open air, clouding up the starry night sky. Without even looking at you, he asked, âWhy are you staring?â His words hung in the silence for a moment. âHave you ever smoked before?â
You shrugged. âOnly once or twice with Vernon. Probably as freshmen.â
âYou want me to show you how?â
Blinking at him, all you could do was dumbly nod. Mingyu laughed under his breath, fighting with his lighter again, before eventually holding the flame to the end. He then cautiously passed the joint over to you, allowing the filter to brush your lips. âTake it in your mouth,â he instructed, ânow inhale.â
When you did as he asked, you mustâve inhaled far too deeply, or just didnât exhale at the right time. Because then you were coughing, doubling over as you tried to catch your breath. âHey, hey, hey,â he said, concern etched in his tone, and patted your back as you hacked up what felt like your left lung. His voice was soft, soothing, but you could hardly hear it through the ringing in your ears.
âYeah,â you sighed, voice hoarse, âIâm definitely out of practice.â
As you stood up, his hand stayed on your shoulder, his thumb rubbing patterns. Your breath stilled as you looked up at him. Playing with the joint between his lips, he said, âLet me show you an easier way.â
âOkay,â you agreed, before your conscious could stop you.
You watched as he took a long pull from the joint, sucking it all in until you could see his eyes get a little pinker, and then moved closer to you. Instinctively, your eyes closed and your lips parted, welcoming the scent of him. His lips only lightly grazed yours as he exhaled the smoke into your mouth, letting it engulf your very being, and you felt yourself start to relax. He craned back, grinning down at you, and it took everything within you to not ask for another hit right then.Â
In the moonlight, you could see why you fell hard for Mingyu. He had only gotten more handsome since college. Light, in any form, was so kind to him, but with the stars hanging above his head ⊠it allowed his dark hair to shine, casting a slightly blueish tone to his warm features. You could see the twinkling stars reflecting in his eyes, especially when he leaned back in, expelling more smoke into your mouth.
This felt too intimate. This felt like fucking.
Once you both were so high you could do nothing but laugh, Mingyu stubbed out the joint and you stumbled back into the room. You both were finally going to have a good sleep at one of these, especially since there were two beds. Rolling into your bed, you immediately burrowed under the covers as Mingyu took off his suit in the bathroom.
The last thing you expected was to feel him plop down in your bed. He was wearing so little that it made your thighs press together, or maybe that was just the weed talking. He was disoriented, laying halfway off the edge of your bed, staring at you as if you were the Mona Lisa. You huffed, âMingyuuu. You need to get in your own bed.â
âDo you really want that though?â
His words made your eyes immediately snap open. A grin was tugging at his mouth again, his teeth sinking into that plush bottom lip. Oh, so also wanted ⊠Oh.
You tried to sound cool and nonchalant, âConsidering this is a full size bed, yeah.â
Even in the darkness, even with his back to the moonlight streaming through the glass door â his presence was making you nervous. His eyes werenât leaving yours. You felt your hand inch over, your pinky curling around his.
âIf I can be so honest with you,â he whispered, licking at the corners of his lips, âyou are so beautiful that I want to kill any guy that has done you wrong.â
You exhaled, âMingyu âŠâ
He leaned in, smiling like he knew he caught you in his trap. âYes?â
You were pretty sure that you knew Kim Mingyu by now. You knew that this would be just another night that meant nothing to him. No matter how much he âchangedâ in Vernonâs eyes, it was very clear to you that he remained uncommitted. But fuck it, your heart was still burning from the breakup, stinging from the memory of people uttering your exâs name tonight. It was only going to be a kiss. Just something to soothe the pain.
He was so much closer now, invading your space, his hand completely eclipsing yours. He smelled like marijuana and lingering cologne. âTell me to stop,â he murmured, but you didnât. You let him kiss you, and god, it would be so much easier to dislike Mingyu if he didnât kiss so well.Â
It wasnât long before his tongue was pushing into your mouth, his large body looming over yours as he pressed you into the mattress a little more. And youâre desperate for it; you couldnât stop. This was supposed to be simple â just a kiss â but you could feel yourself falling under his spell, feel how his palms burned against your skin as they dragged down your torso. He explored your mouth like it was the first time, parting your legs to make room for himself on top of you. When his lips left yours, you almost let out a whine, but he helped take off your hoodie before reattaching his mouth to your neck. Those large hands snake under your shirt â up, up, and up â until he was cupping your breasts and you can feel how hard he is against your thigh.
Mingyu looked up at you as he kissed down your torso, his spit soaking through the thin fabric of the t-shirt you were still wearing. He lifted one of your legs, adjusting it so your thigh could rest comfortably on his shoulder and â shit, you knew where this was going. Reaching the waistband of your panties, he begged, âLet me go down on you.â
You mulled over his words. âAre you sure thatâs a good idea?â
âNo,â he grinned against your skin, meeting your eyes from between your legs. âBut thatâs a tomorrow problem. Please?â His head tilted. âDo I have to beg? Iâm willing.â
You bit your tongue, egging him on a little as he nipped at the inside of your thigh. He bucked his hips once, them twice, trying to get the smallest bit of friction on his cock that was currently throbbing in his boxers. He grunted softly against your skin.Â
âAnd if I say, âNo?ââ You asked with a raised brow.
He lifted his head and pouted his lips. After all these years, he still managed the perfect puppy dog eyes that could make just about anyone weak. âDonât be mean,â he pleaded, and you couldnât help but giggle.
âYou like when Iâm mean,â you quipped, giving him permission by helping him shimmy your panties off. He adjusted your legs again, presenting you like a meal.
âI do,â he chuckled, his breath ghosting over your pretty, pink folds. âEspecially, when you act like you didnât want me here in the first place.â
Before you can rebuttal, heâs pressing his face between your thighs, dragging his tongue up your slit to collect the wetness that gathered there. Just the small amount of attention had you keening, your hips jumping for more of him, and Mingyu was happy enough to oblige. His tongue flicked at your clit as he slid one single finger inside of you, testing your limits. Those puppy dog eyes lifted from between your thighs, wanting to see you crumble, knowing that it was him who made you like this. You sighed out his name, your hand coming down to tangle in his hair. And god, if Mingyu didnât love that ⊠heâd be a dead man. He groaned when he felt you tug at the strands, beginning to swirl his tongue in a circle around your puffy clit.
You couldnât even prepare yourself when he shoved another finger inside, pumping them in and out at an unreasonably fast pace. But you were bucking into him, tears pricking at your eyes as you whimpered for him. It was too much but almost too little at the same time. You could practically feel him smile as he devoured you. The bed rattled against the wall when he ground his erection against the frame, so needy and aching. His plump lips suckled on your clit, your slick smearing over his face, but he didnât want to miss a drop of you. He needed more of you, so he started curling three fingers inside of you, teasing that sweet spot.
This wasnât your first rodeo with Mingyu. He knew what you could take.
âMingyu,â you whined, and he glanced up at you again with the most fucked-out eyes imaginable. And still, he didnât stop. âYouâre gonna ⊠Iâm gonna cum so fast.â
He moaned into you, then begged, âPlease. Need to taste you.â
He was so determined, so desperate to feel you shake and moan and cry until he was completely spent on the taste of you. And it wasnât long before he got his wish: as he shoved those three fingers into you, grazing your g-spot while lapping at you like you were his last meal on death row. You unraveled on his tongue, muffling your cries for the rest of the people sleeping on your floor. Biting into your hand, you had physically restrain your body from shaking as your orgasm rocked through you, but Mingyu held you down with a gentle hand on your stomach. He was staring at you again and you were staring at him and fuck, his half-closed eyes made him look like he was drunk on you. You could feel him smirking into your pussy as he collected every last drop of you, knowing that he did a good job. He sighed with relief when he could finally taste you again and again and again.
Once your body settled, you felt him start to tug at your shirt and kiss up your stomach. The thought of now having him inside you made your hands clench with excitement, but dear god, he just knocked the wind out of you and you werenât sure how you could last. You were spent, tired, probably could just fall asleep right now.
You werenât feeling his lips on your skin anymore, so you opened your eyes. The moonlight gave you just enough to see that, despite the raging boner he probably had, Mingyu was now snoring softly with his head resting on your hips. Brows raised, you almost couldnât believe that this was the moment he decided to fall asleep, but you couldnât deny that you had been on the verge of doing the same.Â
Untangling yourself from him, you quickly cleaned yourself up and wiped his face clean with a washcloth. You sighed, using all the brute strength you had to haul him up on what was supposed to be your bed, and wrapped the covers around him. You admired him for a moment, your hand coming up to smooth back his dark hair. Somehow, this felt even more intimate than you cumming in his mouth. So you quickly moved away and slipped under the sheets of the other bed, using his snores as white noise.
The next morning, neither of you spoke of what happened.
Mingyu had wanted to tell you that he had a crush on you the moment Vernon introduced you two all those years ago, even when you disliked him. And slowly but surely, he was starting to realize it never truly went away.
Save the Date for the wedding of Joshua Hong and Jordan Lo: June 20th
Two months passed and the spring air turned sweltering. It was on days like this when you rolled the windows down and wasted gas just to get an overpriced iced coffee that you reminisced. You were taken back to a time when you waited by the curb as Vernon appeared from football practice, and even though he was sweaty, you still always agreed to drive him back to his dorm on the other side of campus. You would watch him say goodbye to his teammates and â shit, the light would catch, and suddenly you were looking at Mingyu wipe the sweat off his face while laughing with the quarterback and â
Now you were thinking about Mingyu again.
You had been thinking about him since April.
All of this felt so silly, like stupid games young 20-somethings played. You knew it wasnât good for you in engage in â well, anything with Mingyu. He had always been perfectly uncommitted with women, and he was clearly obsessed with his work, posting his new recipes or pictures of him and his flag football team on his Instagram stories. You could handle this. You could be an adult and have a functional acquaintanceship with someone you found attractive.Â
So you kept your distance. On the off chance that Mingyu was free and asked if you wanted to get together (which was a shock in itself), you declined. Even if you wanted to. Even if you desperately wondered what would come of it. The next wedding wasnât until the end of June and you were already biting you lip at the thought of seeing him in a suit again.
The only person you could finally blabber to about this was Minghao, and in typical fashion, he laughed. Not that you expected anything less.
âYouâre overthinking the entire situation,â he said over drinks. âItâs completely normal for you to have a little fun, especially while healing from a breakup. Thatâs what being single is all about, my friend.â
He was right. Of course, he was right. But what if Mingyu rejected you yet again, like he did in college? You wanted to talk to Vernon about this. He always gave you the best advice with this stuff, but this was his friend. The last thing you wanted was to make his friendship with Mingyu weird.
You attempted to ignore him. You redownloaded some dating apps as a distraction. You deleted them just as fast.
On the morning of June 20th, your cousin, Jordan, was marrying her longtime boyfriend, Joshua Hong. You had only met Josh on a number of occasions, but considering that they had been together for almost twelve years, you trusted him enough to take care of her. You felt lucky to be chosen as a bridesmaid and youâd never make a fuss, but dear god, the dark blue of this dress clashed with just about everything. The color was so dark and the dress was clinging to just about all of you and Mingyuâs tie was the wrong shade of blue â
Damn, did he look handsome though.
Jordan had made you both get to the venue early for a rehearsal dinner, and then once the morning came, you were whisked off to hair and makeup. You had barely said a word to Mingyu, too scared to give him anything besides small talk, but you couldnât help but compliment the new suit he bought for the last few weddings. âFigured Iâd cave and invest in one that wasnât from Goodwill,â he explained, âfor you.â
For you. For you. For you.
Your heels were hurting your feet halfway through the wedding, and despite how hard you were trying to focus on Joshâs vows, you couldnât help but find Mingyuâs eyes in the crowd. He wasnât paying attention to anyone else, his stare burning into yours to let you know his intent. You swallowed hard. Would anyone notice if you hid your blush behind the bouquet in your hands? It felt like torture having him look at you like this, as if there wasnât an extravagant wedding happening around them, as if he wasnât Kim Mingyu.Â
It wasnât until the reception that you could finally get a word in with your cousin, some much needed alone time after what was surely going to be the craziest wedding you went to this year. You both parked yourself near the open bar, ignoring the guests on the dance floor that were screaming for another round of the Cha Cha Slide. Tucking a strand behind your ear, Jordan said, âI canât thank you enough for doing this for me. Jeez, I really didnât think when I was three and met you a couple weeks after you were born that weâd be here. But I wouldnât have it any other way.â
You grinned, âI wouldnât miss this for the world.â The bartender handed you a new glass of wine and you took a sip. âBesides, these days all I do is work or go to weddings. The life of being a permanent wedding guest, I supposed.â
âSpeaking of guests âŠâ Jordan turned her head slightly, ogling Mingyu from where he was standing up and trying to decline your great auntâs advances to dance. Your cousin giggled. âHe isnât the older guy I thought youâd bring.â
âCircumstances change.â You shrugged, and she gave you a look. âIâd rather not get into it.â
Jordanâs brow raised. âYou guys are having sex though, right?â
You almost choked while taking another sip of your wine. âAbsolutely not.â
âYou sure?â
âWell, I ââ You sighed, and then decided to suck down the rest of the glass in one go. Jordan whistled. âWe did at one point. Very long time ago. But heâs Vernonâs friend and ⊠itâs a long story.â
âSounds like it,â she snorted, eyes flickering around the reception until they landed somewhere behind you. âWell, if youâre not having sex with him, my friend just might tonight.â
Your expression muddled, until she pointed over your shoulder. Turning around, you found Jordanâs Maid of Honor chatting up Mingyu near the stairs that lead to the restrooms. Her hand was inching up his sleeve and he was blushing at what you could only assume was a compliment coming from her lips. He was clearly enjoying the conversation, despite the intimate looks he was giving you earlier.Â
Classic fucking Kim Mingyu, you thought.
A pang of jealousy surfaced that you couldnât control. It was probably best for everyone if you walked away and took a breather. After Joshua pulled his wife onto the dance floor, you adjusted the tight silk of your dress and headed for the bathrooms. You walked past them, your perfume wafting past Mingyuâs nostrils, a scent he would know anywhere.Â
Instead of going inside the bathroom, you decide to stand in the empty hall connected to the venue and brace your back against the cool wall. You sighed, gathering yourself, completely unaware it wasnât just you here until you heard the squeak of someone elseâs shoes.
âYou didnât have to come after me,â you remarked, and then nodded your head in the direction of the Maid of Honor now on the dance floor. âYou looked like you were having fun.â
Mingyu simply tilted his head to the side, studying you carefully.
âSheâs pretty. Donât stop on my account, but please be aware that we are sharing a room so you canât bring anyone back there.â
Mingyuâs lips slowly curved into a grin. âAre you jealous?â
You scoffed, âNo. Iâm just ⊠being realistic.â
Taking your half empty glass from your hand, he set them both down on a side table right near the womenâs restroom. Your mouth opened, but the words died as soon as he placed a hand beside your head on the wall. He was so tall that he towered over you, even in heels, leaning into your space with pretty, half-opened eyes as he stared at your glossy lips.
âCan I be realistic with you?â He didnât give you a moment to answer. âI cannot stop thinking about our last night together. I know you probably thought it happened because of the weed, but I ⊠these past two months, itâs all Iâve been thinking about. And itâs killing me that Iâve been trying to be normal this whole night when all Iâve wanted to do is drag you away and make you cum again.â
Your breath hitched slightly at his words. He leaned in then, grazing his nose over the side of your face, desperate to be in your orbit. You took your bottom lip between your teeth and tried to control your heart rate, but how was that even possible when Mingyuâs other hand was brushing up and down your side, tangled in the silk.
âWell, that âŠâ You swallowed hard. âThat wouldnât be a good idea considering all my family is here.â
He tsked under his breath. âObviously, it wouldnât be, but âŠâ You felt his nose at your jaw, inhaling the scent of your perfume again, the one that made him crazy. And he damn near groaned in your ear.Â
âMingyu, you ⊠you ââ
âFuck, how could you think Iâm looking at anyone else here when you look this good in your dress?â His voice had taken on that needy tone he always got when he was horny. It almost felt like a reward to be able to hear it again. âIâve been half-hard this entire reception just from looking at you, remembering the way you tasted âŠâ He muttered another curse.
This was how he always acted. Mingyu could be so desperate and pleading when he wanted to get someone in bed, needy to the point he would do anything just to please you, but god â you couldnât deny how much you liked it. He was reeling you in. You were like fish to bait.
Slowly, he laced your dominant hand with his and moved it from his belt buckle to his groin. You could barely breathe when you felt him harden under your touch, and then you remembered you were still in a public hallway, where just about anyone could walk by.Â
Your eyes met his half-lidded ones as he murmured, âLook what youâre doing to me.â
And god help you, because you whimpered at the sound of his voice, slick starting to gather between your thighs.
âOkay, Mingyu, just âŠâ You sighed, composing yourself because you knew he wasnât going to any time soon. Your hand slipped away from his and he huffed, his forehead falling to rest on your shoulder. âGo to our room and let me make my rounds. Iâll meet you up there.â
He stood up. For a moment, he was almost tempted to drag you into the bathroom and bury his face between your legs, too hungry to let you get away now. But one of your uncles was walking down the hall, and you separated quickly. With a nod, you walked back to the reception and said goodbye to your family that you didnât get to talk to for too long prior. Jordan gave you a look when you mentioned about going to bed early, and even Josh told you how weird you were being, but your cousin shut him up and sent you a wink.
You exhaled heavily and headed back to hotel on the other side of the venue. Slipping your heels off once you were inside the elevator, you debated if giving into Mingyu this easily was the smart thing to do. Smart? Definitely not. But would it be enjoyable? You didnât need to answer that question. Mingyu knew what he was doing.
As you unlocked the door to your hotel room, you began to wonder if you were just setting yourself up to be hurt again. He didnât come back to you like this in college, but whatâs stopping him from telling you that heâs âjust not that into youâ at the next wedding? Or what if he just thought of you as an easy hookup that would get his dick wet every 2 months? Well, you hadnât done that yet â
Yet. Yet. Yet.
The word repeated in your head like a melody, because when you threw your purse down and saw Mingyu walking out of the bathroom, fresh from a shower and dressed in only a towel around his waist, you realized that you were most definitely getting his dick wet tonight. Whether it was in your mouth or somewhere deeper, you were salivating for it.Â
He was smiling at you and you were smiling at him and Jesus, he was so goddamn handsome that you couldnât believe that he was the one desperate for you. Droplets of water trickled down his tan skin and that towel around his waist was just barely holding on. His torso was chiseled and his arms â fuck, his biceps were bigger than you remembered. He was something out of a dream â some horny, fucked-up dream that you only had after masturbating before bed.
He was on you instantly, pushing you against the wall and kissing you hard. Sighing into the kiss, your hands fist into the towel to yank him closer, but it only makes the flimsy fabric fall. You break away for a moment to mutter, âOh, shit,â but his lips canât stay away from yours for long. And heâs laughing, like you did exactly what he wanted. You were too hypnotized by the scent of his body wash to care.
Dragging his lips down your neck, he sucked at the spot that he knew made your thighs press together, grinning proudly against your skin when you moaned. His fingers gripped the soft silk of your dress, slowly pulling the fabric up to feel you that much closer. But it wasnât enough. No matter how much he liked you in this dress â and god, did he like you in this dress â he needed you out of it. Now.
Mingyu unzipped your dress with precision, setting it down on one of the two beds in the room, and both of you were suddenly wishingthere was only one. His hands smoothed down your sides, his breath hot against your mouth. He just wanted to feel you everywhere. He almost didnât want to step away, afraid youâll slip through his fingers like sand. When you two had hooked up in college, it was quick and explosive, letting out the tension that had been building for years. There was so much territory for him to cover now, so many ways for him to find out what made you whine and sigh with pleasure. But, if he were being honest, all he wanted right now was for you to â
âSit on my face,â he begged, caging you into the wall, pressing his hard cock against your stomach. So desperate for just an ounce of friction, so hungry for another taste of you. He could literally start drooling at the thought of it. He was mesmerized by you; heâd do anything you asked just to have your pussy on his tongue again.
But you seemed to be debating your options, biting you lip again, and he wished that didnât turn him on even more. You were just so pretty, and the way your face scrunched as you decided on something was a sight he couldnât help but think about when he touched himself, even all those years ago. It was just you. You.Â
Eventually, your face relaxed, and you replied, âWell, you donât have to beg me.â
Mingyuâs lips pulled into a smile, and he laughed while pulling you down onto the nearest bed. Despite his request, you continued to straddle his torso and kiss him for just a little while longer. He was needy, moaning into your mouth whenever his cock bumped against your ass, but all you wanted to feel his lips on yours, tangle your tongue with his, even if it was just for another minute.Â
You forgot Mingyu was stronger than you, though. It wasnât much longer before he was yanking your body up and turning you around so you knelt just above his face. He inhaled the scent of your pussy and almost breathed a sigh of relief, but instead muttered, âSuch a tease sometimes.â
Now that you were hovering above him, you were suddenly self conscious about how excited you were and if your arousal was seeping onto his face. You couldnât even see if he was thrilled or not, since he had turned you to face away from him, but the way his cock jumped in front of your eyes told you enough. His hands gripped your thighs tight. âI donât want to crush you,â you said nervously.
âYou could suffocate me and I wouldnât have a problem with it."
You chewed on your bottom lip. His tone was firm, probably the most serious youâd ever heard from him. But you were embarrassed and this was crazy and you still so wet. With flushed cheeks, you asked, âMingyu, are you ââ
âYes,â he answered before pulling you down onto his face.
He wasnât teasing you tonight. He was devouring you without even letting you catch your breath. His tongue swiping at your clit before he sucked on it â hard. So hard that you let you a sound that was a mixture of a yelp and a moan. Gripping you roughly, he spread you wider, drinking more of you in. Your hips moved on their own, grinding against his face, which made him groan into your pussy. The vibration in his voice spread throughout your entire body, goosebumps lining your flesh. âMingyuuu,â you whined, begging for more, and you could practically feel him smirk as he flicked at your swollen clit.Â
Leaning forward, you turned your head up and noticed again just how hard he was. His cock had always been perfect: the perfect size, dark pink at the tip, veins etched into the shaft. Precum beaded at the head, sliding down every so slowly, as he throbbed and ached and â god, his hips were almost thrusting into the air now. You didnât doubt he could get off for hours on this, but that didnât mean he needed to be unsatisfied.
Besides, you wanted something to do with your mouth anyway.
Mingyu whimpered as you shifted slightly to reach his cock. Your body stretched, your mouth at the perfect angle as you flicked the head with your tongue. He pulled you back towards his mouth, shoving his tongue inside your tight hole and making you gasp at the same time you licked a stripe up his shaft. His tongue worked you open while you swirled your own along the tip, and then finally took him into your mouth.
The grunt he released shouldâve caused an earthquake.
You bobbed your head up and down his shaft, choking when he bucked into your mouth. You could hardly breathe, taking every opportunity to inhale through your nose, but you couldnât stop. You didnât want to stop. God forbid, you have a hobby like wanting Kim Mingyuâs cock in your mouth. He took the liberty of grinding you against his face with his own hands, wrapping his lips around your clit again, eager to taste your climax. And to be honest, he wasnât sure how much longer he was going to last if you kept sucking on his tip like that. He groaned each time, feeling your tongue circle his head before going back down, taking as much as you could, as if you were rewarding him. And he just couldnât help but whine along with you.
Your lips pulled off him to kitten lick the veins along the sides of his shaft, and you breathily asked, âAre you close?â
His only response was a moan straight into your pussy.
You nodded, even if he couldnât see it, before your mouth opened like second nature. You spit on his cock and stuffed him down your throat once again. Head moving faster, you were slobbering on him like a dog in heat, trying not to gag and failing. Your free hand snaked up to cup one of his balls, and the sound he released was deafening. His tongue flicked and sucked at your clit like he had nothing left to live for, hungry for every last drop of your essence.
But then you were cumming, and he was too not long after.
You cried, choking on his cock as you came all over his face. White blurred in your vision, and you were a mess of sweat and spit and so much cum. He exploded in your mouth a moment later, hot seed running down your throat, and you consumed all of it. Neither of you wanted to miss out on the taste of each other. It was filthy, intoxicating, how much you liked this. How much you could suck him off over and over again, and not get tired of him.
You didnât know it at the time, but Mingyu would say the same about you. If not worse.
He could spend all day between your thighs and never want to leave.
When you both finally angled off each other, spent and exhausted, your breathing was heavy and off by two seconds. Mingyu was glancing over at you before you could even process, a smile playing at his swollen lips. He brushed away a strand of hair that was stuck to your sweaty forehead.
âMingyu,â you finally said, âhas anyone ever told you that you have boyfriend dick?â
Mingyu had wanted to tell you how much heâd been dreaming of that moment, how much you had haunted his dreams and left him waking up so hard that he felt he was going through puberty again. Sometimes he dreamed of how good it would feel when he finally slipped into you, inch by inch. Youâd feel like home.
Save the Date for the wedding of Lee Seokmin and Quinn Song: July 31st
You couldnât go a day without talking to Mingyu. Whether it be through text or over the phone, you were joking with him, telling him about your day, and vice versa. Just a month prior, you had tried keeping your distance, but now ⊠you simply couldnât help yourself. It was like there was a voice inside your head telling you to contact him, to send him a funny video you saw that day, to tell him about the show you were currently watching. And on nights when you had too much to drink, that voice made you text him that you missed him. He always said he missed you too.
Mingyu: Iâm watching that show you recommended
Mingyu: kinda wish you were watching it with me
Mingyu: but Iâm still content here and I can see why you like it so much
You: right?? I knew youâd like it!
You couldnât help but giggle at your phone when his texts came through. And you answered them immediately, like you always did.Â
Mingyu: what are you doing right now?
You: wouldnât you like to know
Neither of you made the effort to go on an actual date. It was all just flirty texts with a TikTok mixed in every once in a while. Promises about going back to that coffee shop someday, but never planning the day. To be honest, this was one of those moments where you were glad Mingyu was so uncommitted. If you started going on dates that didnât include a vow exchange in between, it would be so easy to fall for him again, and then be let down when he eventually didnât want to see you after wedding season.Â
Mingyu: I mean thatâs why I asked
You: Iâm hanging out with
A pillow was suddenly thrown at your head. âOw!â You shouted, head shooting up from your phone to glare at Vernon sitting on the other side of the couch. âWhat the hell was that for?â
âAnakin is literally burning alive and all you can do is look at your phone!â Vernon scoffed, turning Revenge of the Sith back on. You set your phone down on your lap as he muttered, âKinda wish I never won that bet.â
Vernon, obviously, was becoming increasingly annoyed that you and Mingyu had rekindled ⊠whatever this was. Sometimes you wondered if you were talking to Mingyu more than your best friend, but given the way Vernon was acting, that was probably the case. You probably shouldnât even be texting Mingyu while hanging out with Vernon. Bad friend move; happens to the best of us.Â
You apologized to Vernon in the best way possible: you bought him fried chicken from his favorite spot.
The wedding was being held on a pretty island in the northeast, nestled on the expansive grounds of a bed and breakfast in the area. The spot felt warm and lived in, the exact kind of place you imagined Quinn would get married at.Â
Meeting Mingyu at the airport had been awkward, but at the very least, you two were sitting in different rows of the plane. Maybe it shouldnât have been as cringe-worthy as it was, given the fact that you two had been talking nonstop, but it was the memory that the last time you did see each other in person, you were sitting on his face and his cock was so far down your throat â
Mingyu had found your eyes a couple rows behind him on the plane. Even he was blushing now, as if he could read your thoughts.
You had rented a car once you reached your destination and threw him the keys, letting him drive the convertible down the coast while the summer breeze whipped through your hair. You tried not to notice the way his hand twitched on the gear shift, like he was itching to place his palm on your thigh, to ground himself to your presence. But he didnât. He couldnât. Especially when all you could do was stare out the window with a big smile on your face.
Unfortunately, you had to book a room at a small hotel near the bed and breakfast since all the rooms were used for the wedding party. The hotel was quaint, but definitely old and smelled like the Febreze scent your mom used to love when you were a kid. Your room was tinier than the pictures implied, but it was on the first floor and had a screen door that opened to a pretty view of the ocean. You didnât have much time to enjoy it though, considering that the ceremony was in a few hours and the reception would probably carry on until way past midnight.
You decided to rewear the floral sundress that made a previous appearance at Chan and Adriannaâs wedding. It wasnât like anyone here was at that event, and honestly, you didnât care. Throwing your hair up into a perfectly messy updo, you curled a few pieces and took your time with your diligent makeup routine. Mingyu was in his suit before you could even blink, biding his time while you got ready by watching past game recordings of the flag football team he taught and trying to identify key moves they missed out on. As you finished up and clumsily slipped on your shoes, the perfume you sprayed seemed to beckon him like a siren song, and suddenly, he was leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom, meeting your eyes in the mirror.
Your brows shot up. âDone with your flag football research?â
âYouâre beautiful,â he replied.
You turned, unable to stop your lips from pulling into a soft smile. His expression was so warm, cheeks tinged slightly pink either from embarrassment or a nasty sunburn. He was beautiful. In ways you couldnât even comprehend.Â
Holding out your necklace to him, you asked, âCan you help me put this on?â
He nodded, plucking the dainty chain from your palm. You moved back to the mirror as he struggled to open the clasp with his thick fingers, but he got it eventually. Placing the thin, gold chain around your neck, you watched the small, star-shaped pendant sit so delicately under your collarbones. He fixed the clasp on your neck, his fingers brushing the top of your spine, and you watched him lean forward in the mirror.
His lips ghosted over the shell of your ear, breath hot and making the hairs on your neck stand up. âI meant it, by the way,â he whispered, and then placed the softest of kisses behind your ear.Â
Your breath hitched, and you were unable to form a single coherent thought. For the first time in a while, he was catching you by surprise. He was moving back, and you noticed him smirk in the mirror, knowing exactly how he was affecting you. That annoying asshole â
âReady to head out?â He asked, grabbing his wallet from the desk.
You huffed and tugged the strap of your purse onto your shoulder. âOf course.â
The grounds of the bed and breakfast were bigger than you assumed, enough to fit an extremely large tent and hardwood floor for all the guests to congregate. The ceremony was held near the shoreline of the ocean, and it was so, unapologetically Quinn to have a few seashell pins in her veil as she walked towards her husband. You had known Seokmin as long as Quinn had been your roommate, but you had never seen this kind of smile on his face until now. He completely lit up at the sight of her, and he didnât waste a second to say, âI do,â once his time came.
As the guests crowded into the tent for the reception, Mingyu seemed to hold onto you like a toddler with itâs parent. His arm was locked around yours, letting you lead him through the crowd, even though he was tall enough to see over the tops of everyoneâs heads. His palm was so warm on your wrist, and then his fingers were so easily lacing through yours, and you squeezed because you simply couldnât help yourself.Â
You were able to find your table easily, but you didnât recognize the other people already there. They introduced themselves as Seokminâs friends, and you remembered seeing one or two of them at a bar. You still couldnât get a read on these people, and found yourself swiftly growing silent around their shared camaraderie. But Mingyu was suddenly so talkative, catching along with their jokes just as quickly, so you stood and whispered in his ear, âDo you want a drink?â
He leaned back to meet your eyes, and you swore time stopped for a moment. His hand reached down, squeezing your wrist, as he said, âYou know what I like.â
Jesus. Fuck. Since whendid he have you this wrapped around his finger?
(Probably since sophomore year of college.)
You nodded, swinging your head in the direction of the bar, and your feet had started to head there when you halted in place. It almost felt like your heels were glued to the floor as you found the face of the last person you expected to be here. The only face that could make all the noise drown out around you.
Your ex.
He still had that same curl that always got in his eyes. He was wearing the same suit he wore to your motherâs engagement party last year. The same watch on his wrist; the same cufflinks. Same. Same. Same. And now, he was meeting your eyes across the room. Bodies formed in clusters under the tent â some hugging, some stumbling into each other â but he was unable to look away.
Until a head popped up in front of him, standing from her chair at the table. Her wedge sandals almost made her taller than him, and her dress looked expensive enough that he probably bought it. You didnât know her, but you knew of her. Well, at least, you knew what the back of her head looked like, and that was her right there.Â
You couldnât forget the night even if you tried. Exhaustion had your shoulders sagging as you unlocked the door to your boyfriendâs apartment. He didnât typically keep it locked, but you had a key anyway. You remembered how quiet the place was, except for the soft sounds echoing from his bedroom. At first, you thought he was just masturbating, and to be honest, you were too tired to engage in anything tonight. But a voice in your head had urged you to move, to go, go, go towards his room. And you were slowly pushing open the door, only to find your boyfriend fucking your 22-year-old neighbor from behind, yanking on her short hair like a leash. You had been too scared to move, too scared to breathe, but eventually, you had started wailing. His eyes had found yours â exactly like in this moment â and he screamed, slipping away completely as your back slid to the floor. He had tried explaining, tried to yell at the young girl, but everything had drowned away in that moment, and all you could hear was the ringing in your ears â
Your breathing was growing rapid, just like that day at his apartment. Sprinting to the inside of the bed and breakfast, you tried to act normal and say hello to whoever you knew mingling by the bathroom. But something was clearly very wrong. It was evident in your eyes, the way tears were pricking at the sides. You almost thought the universe was pulling a cruel prank on you, but then you remembered that it was Quinn who had introduced you two in the first place, that he had been a friend of a friend.Â
Climbing up the staircase in the lobby, you plopped yourself down on the middle step and let your face fall into your hands. You began to count your breaths â one, two, three, one, two, three â anything to make you get a semblance of control. But you could feel your brain spinning, and your heart was beating too fast. Was this what it felt like to die? Was your cheating ex going to be the last face you saw before you completely slumped against this staircase? Vernon always said you had a flair for the dramatic. What a fitting way to end.
You felt a weight sink into the plush carpet next to you, and you lifted your head, tears brimming your eyes.
âYou do realize that this isnât your party. You canât cry if you want to,â Mingyu joked, reaching out and swiping the tear at your lash line. His eyes softened then, looking at you like you were something fragile, like a baby bird. âWhatâs wrong?â His voice was hardly about a whisper.
You sniffled, dabbing at the corners of your eyes with your knuckles. The last thing you needed was your makeup messed up. âThis is so embarrassing. Iâm crying over something so âŠâ Your words trailed off, noticing that he was leveling a look at you. You sighed before admitting, âI forgot that the bride, Quinn, might invite my ex because they were friends. Somewhat.â
âYour ex? As in that ex?â His brow shot up, and you nodded. âDid he come alone?â
You looked down at your hands in your lap, and after a moment, you watched his large palm slowly envelope one of yours. The rough pads of his fingers â the hands of a cook â brushed over your knuckles, and his touch was so warm that it could burn.Â
His voice was soft in your ear as he said, âYou donât have to talk about it if you donât want to.â
You chuckled a little, turning to look at him again. âThen weâd be sitting on this staircase forever.â
He smiled at you and stretched out his long legs. âThatâs fine with me.â
Your lips pursed, and you found him staring at them for a moment. A sigh escaped, and you glanced down at your laced hands. How perfectly they fit together, how he held you with such a fierce softness. His thumb grazed the scar on your knuckle that you got the first time you fell off your bike. Finally, you answered, âHe came here with the girl he cheated on me with.â
Mingyu didnât speak, but you did hear him do a sharp intake.
âSheâs twenty-two. She didnât â she doesnât know any better. Heâs in his early thirties and heâll do it again,â you continued, chewing on your bottom lip for a moment. âI found them in his apartment after I came home from a late meeting at work. It was ⊠messy. Walking in on them, the fallout, now this ⊠everything about that breakup has felt like one big mess. And now, I have to see him here and be reminded of it allâfuckingâover again.â
You didnât even dare to meet his eyes as the next words tumbled out of your mouth, already feeling your voice start to break again. âIt didnât just hurt because I found them. It hurt because ⊠I never wanted to become my mother. I love her. I really do. But the last thing I ever wanted was to become her. Be in the same situation as her. And yet, there I was, witnessing yet another infidelity that would affect my life for what seems like forever.â You rubbed at your running nose. âI found my father cheating too. It wasnât exactly the same. I found him kissing my best friendâs mom in my parentâs bedroom one night when my mother stayed at work too late. The sentiment still stands, and history was always bound to repeat itself. Daughters always become their mothers and I always have to bear witness to another man not choosing to stick around ââ
Mingyu stopped you by turning your face towards his, one hand cupping your cheek. His thumb skimmed the tears running through your blush. He didnât say anything; his eyes let you know that he was here. That he was sticking around. Despite everything you thought of him, despite your past â Mingyu was here.Â
He held you for as long as you needed, gathering you in his arms and cradling your head against his shoulder. He let your tears soak into the fabric of his expensive suit, promising heâd get it dry-cleaned, which made you laugh. Your fingers clutched his lapels and you almost considered not letting go. You would give anything to stay in this bubble, to sit on this staircase in his embrace forever.
âI meant what I said all those months ago,â he said, his voice muffled from his lips at the crown of your head. âI would kill any guy that has done you wrong. Do you want me to kill him?â
You chuckled and raised your head from his shoulder. âWhat are you gonna kill him with? A butter knife?â You shook your head. âNo chef is gonna let you in that kitchen tonight to grab a weapon. You of all people should know that.â
Mingyu grimaced. âThis conversation is getting morbid.â
Another laugh bubbled at your lips. âYou brought it up!â
âAnd youâre smiling again,â he said, making your hands hold onto him tighter. âThatâs all I could ask for.â
Such simple words could take your breath away, especially when they came from his mouth. You searched his eyes for a moment, your fingers now smoothing out the creases in his lapel. Eventually, you whispered, âI donât know if I can survive this whole reception. I hate the awkward tension, but I should stay for Quinn.â
âTrust me, I know,â he snickered, and his hand covered over yours as an anchor. âI say we stay at the reception for as long as your comfortable. Then we go to bed early. Whatever works for you.â
Your smile was so kind as you nodded along with his plan. After touching up your makeup, you took his hand and let him lead you back to the reception. Once you saw Quinn in her short, after party dress and looking at Seokmin with stars in her eyes, you instantly felt more at ease. This was her day; you wouldnât let one person sour it. And Mingyu, clearly, wasnât going to let your own nerves sour it either. Anytime you locked eyes with your ex, there Mingyu was, distracting you by whispering in your ear how pretty you looked or asking you about your best memories while living with Quinn. There was one moment where you saw your ex heading in your direction, assuming he was finally going to talk to you, and Mingyu stood up to whisk you onto the dance floor. His large arms enveloped you, holding you close, as you swayed to one of your favorite songs. Everything about him felt safe, secure, and he even let you stand on his feet when you told him you had never been that good at dancing. And when you looked at him, you noticed that he was staring at you like how Quinn looked at Seokmin during her speech. Even when you had cried, had let him in, see parts of you that not even Vernon touched ⊠he looked at you like you were the only person in the room.
You stayed at the reception far longer than anticipated. When you told Mingyu that you were too tired to stay any longer, he didnât question it. He simply grabbed your purse and jacket before taking your arm in his, walking the short distance back to your Febreze-ridden hotel. The first thing you did once you were back in your room was take off your heels. They were only a kitten heel, but your feet were already blistering, and you winced as you went to the bathroom to wash off your makeup. Mingyu had set your stuff down on the small desk before walking out onto the deck connected to your room. You craned your neck out, assuming he was going to smoke a joint, but he was just staring at the ocean, noticing how loud the waves crashed against the shore.
You padded out of the bathroom and leaned against the door frame for a moment, admiring him in the dim light. It almost left in you in disbelief how you had roped Kim Mingyu, one of the most attractive men youâd ever met and probably one of the longest crushes youâd ever had in your life, into being your wedding date for an entire year. He had a lost a bet, but he really didnât have to be here. He didnât have to invest in a new suit. He didnât have take the time off from his two jobs. He didnât have to listen to your trauma, or look at you like you were this painting to be worshipped, this Mona Lisa of sorts. Mingyu couldâve said no.Â
But he didnât.Â
âIâm going to take a shower,â you finally informed him, and he turned to meet you eyes. âCan you help me out of my dress?â
He nodded diligently, following you to the bathroom. You pulled your hair up with one hand, and with deft fingers, he slid the zipper down your back. Typically, you would hold the dress to your chest until he left the bathroom, out of respect, but you were letting it pool at your feet tonight. You stepped out of it, your gaze locking with his as you turned on the shower. You were giving him this look and he was still standing there in his half-buttoned dress shirt, hands forming into fists as he fought the urge touch you. Waiting for a sign. Waiting for your permission.
But you didnât even have to say anything. Your eyes said the words for you. As you climbed into the standing shower, he took his time removing his suit, pretending as if he wasnât fucking dying to have his hands on you, and then he was behind you, the hard panes of his chest flush against your back. He closed the shower door as the glass began to fog up.
The water was scalding as it rained down on your head, steam forming around the small bathroom. You could still feel the dried tears on your face, imprinted underneath your makeup all night, and you did your best to wash them away. Mingyu noticed the way your shoulders sagged, the way you sighed while you were lost in thought, and as much as wanted touch you in places that made those sweet sounds fall from your lips, he held himself back. Instead, he let his hands comb through your wet hair before scrubbing shampoo into the strands. You relaxed against him, closing your eyes as he washed your hair.
It was so domestic that you could cry.Â
(Again.)
The last person you ever thought could be capable of this kind of care was Mingyu. You both had known each other for eight years, and not once had he displayed this kind of person around you. Or maybe you just werenât paying attention, too lost in your own perception of him. Even now, you couldnât help but remind yourself of when he avoided you after the hookup in senior year. He really isnât the same guy, Vernonâs voice echoed in your head. Give him a chance. You had never trusted those words, but in this moment ⊠you realized where you had went wrong.
The water began to get cold when it came time to wash his own hair and you could tell he was struggling to rush. His mannerisms made you giggle, and even though the steam began to dissipate from the room, you still turned to his front and rested your forehead on his chest, letting the lukewarm water beat down your neck.
When you walked out of the shower, you had never felt more fresh and at ease. Your body was all warm and you had brought the comfiest pajamas for summer weather. The breeze wafting off the ocean blew through your room from the open screen door, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore could lull you to sleep.
But right now, it seemed like neither of you were keen on the subject. As you slipped under the covers next to each other, you were grateful that there was only one bed: one large, king-sized bed that both of you could be using to spread out. Instead, you were huddled close, hair still wet from the shower, and his arms locked around you like he couldnât bear the thought of letting you go. Your hands cupped his face, studying parts of him that you didnât think of in your previous lust-induced hazes. Fingers traced his lips, brushed over the tip of his nose â where his tiny mole was stamped â before you skimmed the shell of his ear.
You almost didnât recognize your own voice as you whispered, âThank you for tonight.â
âAnytime,â he smiled.
A beat of silence. Hands stilled. Lips pursed.
âMingyu?â
âYeah?â
âPlease, kiss me.â
His mouth was on yours before you could even finish the sentence, but he still took his time exploring new ways to make you moan into the kiss. He kept one hand splayed on your back, pressing you further into him, while the other played with the hem of your loose t-shirt. Your hands knotted into his hair as he kissed you slow, savoring you like a fine meal. And you simply let him. You were like molten lava, melting in the palm of his calloused hands.Â
You felt his fingers prod at the waistband of your shorts, and it was game over. Slipping them under, he practically whined into your mouth when he realized you hadnât put any panties on after the shower. His mouth disconnected from yours, fingers sliding between your slick folds. âAre you trying to kill me?â He breathed against your lips.
âIn my defense,â you chuckled softly, âI forgot to bring them to the bathroom.â
He laughed with you, and you were debating on crying again because he was so kind and good and definitely just as obsessed with you as you were with him. No matter how many times you didnât want to admit it, you had somehow fallen into Kim Mingyuâs trap once again.Â
He kissed you again, hungrier this time, as he spread you open with his fingers. You whimpered, but he swallowed it with his tongue and began to rub tight circles on your clit. Your leg lifted, hooking onto his waist, and you bucked against his hand. Your body felt like it was on fire, but Mingyu was careful, plucking your strings like a guitar, and you needed moremoremore. Pushing two fingers inside of you, his kiss was like a sound barrier as he consumed all your sweet sounds, as if that would allow him to hear them forever.Â
It was only when you came apart that he dragged his lips to your neck, wanting to focus on your moans as he fucked you with his fingers. He felt you shake, your pussy squeezing his thick fingers, and he kept rubbing your clit through it, wanting to prolong your orgasm as much as possible. If not for you, then for him, just so he could hear you. He would make you cum as many times as you wanted if it meant he could hear his name falling from your lips.Â
Neither of you wanted to stop; all fumbling hands and shaky limbs as he finally tugged your shorts off. It was a lot more difficult to take off his boxers without separating from you, but you laughed and you were so pretty that he almost forgot what he was doing in the first place. Once he was situated, you rolled on top of him, straddling his lap. You held his face in your hands, and for a moment, you could almost see reflections of the dark ocean outside in his starry gaze. Your palms drifted down, fingertips tracing the hard panes of his chest. He was all muscle, sculpted like your very own David statue; his complexion so similar to golden hour personified.
You lifted your t-shirt off and tossed it onto the floor. Mingyu was already so hard that it hurt, but he took a few more seconds to stare at you. He wanted to remember this moment forever: the sight of you on top of him, naked and vulnerable, hair wet and a faint blush on your cheeks.
Sitting up on your knees, you positioned yourself right over his cock and gripped the shaft to get the perfect angle inside of you. You were looking at him and he was looking at you as you lowered yourself slightly, grazing his tip against your wet slit, still dripping from your previous orgasm. Mingyu groaned at the sensitivity, throwing his head back against the pillow and muttering, âThis is so mean.â
âYou like when Iâm mean,â you giggled, repeating the same words you uttered that fateful night after Chanâs wedding, when Mingyuâs face was buried between your thighs.
And Mingyu recognized it too, a grin making itâs way to his lips. But that was soon replaced by look of complete bliss as you finally sunk down onto his cock. He was the perfect size, filling you just right but never uncomfortable. He gave you a moment to adjust, but you could tell from his white-knuckled grip on your hips that he was damn near fighting the urge to thrust up into you. He didnât though. He was patient and perfect and all yours.
You anchored yourself to him with one hand on his shoulder, beginning to rock into him at a snailâs pace. Your eyes connected, and even as he moaned underneath you, he was unable to stop smiling. Mingyu let you set the pace, and you took your time, getting to know what speed had him pulling your hips harder. The angle had him buried so deep inside that you could practically feel him in your stomach, and you sighed each time as you moved against him.Â
âFuck,â he whined, shifting to sit up against the headboard. âIâve needed you so bad.â
âI know, I know,â you confessed in a breathy whimper. âMe too.â
He was digging his fingers into your hips so hard that you were sure thereâd be marks, but you didnât care right now. You just wanted him, wanted this. Wanted to be this connected to him and feel him this deep and cum together as the waves crashed against the shore outside. He began to move you on his own accord, bouncing you on his cock as he leaned forward to nip and suck at your neck. âSo pretty,â he mused against your skin, breath stuttering as your walls tightened. âSo pretty sitting on my cock.â
You were the one whining now, raking your fingers into his dark strands as your thigh muscles burned. Your breasts jumped with each slam of his hips against yours, and he planted hot, open-mouthed kisses down your throat, dipping his tongue into your collarbone, before latching his mouth around one of your nipples.
Your hands pulled at his hair. âMingyu, please,â you cooed, not exactly sure what you were begging for. Just moremoremore.Â
His eyes lifted to yours and you watched him fucking smile while tugging at your nipple. You were melting like putty, and he was able to still move you with one hand, using his free one to cup your other breast and run his thumb over that nipple. Tears pricked at your eyes, feeling him pulse inside you with each pass. And when he started to thrust up into you, you were pretty sure that you were close to seeing stars.
âWanna cum with you,â he rasped while switching breasts and flicking his tongue over your other nipple. âPlease, wanna cum inside you.â
You nodded, too cock drunk to say anything besides, âYesyesyes.â
He was rolling your hips now, practically rutting into you as he lifted his head from your chest, leaving a trail of spit. You leaned down and let his lips ghost over yours. Moans slipped from your mouth into his, and he was bouncing you on his cock so fast you almost couldnât register to breathe. His breath was hot against your lips, so close he could feel his body shaking, but he needed you to be closer, needed to feel you tightened around him and milk him for everything he was worth.
Snaking a hand between your bodies, he found your clit easily, knowing your body better than anyone ever had. All you could hear in that moment was the sound of the ocean through your screen door and skin slapping against skin. You were so wet and warm and â shit, you were starting to clench around him. He rolled your clit between two fingers, and a whimper slipped out of his mouth when he felt your pussy clamp around his throbbing cock.
He needed to cum and so did you and â fuck, he could feel it, feel you, feel how deep he was inside.
He would do this forever if you asked.
âFuck, Mingyu, oh my god, right there, right there ââ You pleaded in his ear, feeling yourself tip right over that edge â
Then you were cumming.
And so was he.
You moaned his name like it was a prayer, shattering as you came undone. Your walls were squeezing him like a vice, and he was unable to hold himself back anymore, burying himself to the hilt before painting your insides white with his orgasm. Hips jerked, bodies went taunt. You felt your whole being dissolve into nothing but pleasure, molding yourself to him in his arms. When the rush of warmth started to fade and he felt your combined releases seep from between your thighs, he breathed out a sigh of relief, brushing kisses over your jaw.
You werenât sure you were in your right mind. Everything was so hazy. But you didnât want to move away just yet. Even when his cock started to go soft inside of you, you stayed connected to him, pushing his hair back from his forehead and whispering praises in his ear like, âYou were so good ⊠So good to me ⊠My Mingyu ⊠Iâve always been yours âŠâ You could feel him smiling against your skin, his hands tracing circles on your lower back.
But as time seemed to stop and you felt peace for the first time in a while, you realized just how deep you had fallen. You were drowning in him.
Mingyu had wanted to tell you that it felt exactly like his dreams. If you were drowning in him, he had already sunk to the bottom a long time ago.
Save the Date for the wedding of Nathan Chaney and Your Mother: September 5th
Your mother was remarrying. Her and Nathan had been together since you went off to college, and then got engaged just a year after you graduated. They decided on a long engagement, choosing to plan out a destination wedding in the Caribbean. You thought it was crazy at first, but then your mother said, âIf this is going to be my last wedding â and it is â I want to go out with a bang.â You couldnât exactly blame her. After your dad had cheated and the divorce was finalized, you knew your mother deserved something like this. She deserved the world.
When she had called you just a week before the wedding, babbling on about who you were possibly bringing now that your ex was completely out of the picture, you paused. Holding the phone to your ear and watering one of your half-dead plants with the other, you said, âIâm ⊠Iâm going with Mingyu.â
âVernon?â She asked, not believing what you said.
âMingyu.â
âLike ⊠the Mingyu from university? The football player?â
You sighed, playing with the dead leaves on the plant. âHe was also â and still is â one of Vernonâs good friends.â
âOh,â your mother said, more surprised than anything. âWell, you better watch for Nathanâs sister. If Mingyu looks anything like how I remember from Family Day, she will go buck wild over him.â
âIâll make sure of it,â you chuckled.
The truth was ⊠you werenât exactly sure how this wedding was going to go. Ever since the last one, you had been progressively putting more distance between you and Mingyu. Once again. Your last night together had been so real ⊠too real, and you wanted to save yourself from the heartbreak after this wedding when you never saw him again. As much as you hated to admit it, feelings were now involved, seeping into your bloodstream, until your heart thrummed like the sound of his name on your tongue.Â
Slowly pushing him away ⊠it hurt, but it was better this way. Pain was temporary and so was your arrangement. You knew that going into it, so how did you end up in this mess? You remembered what had happened after Chanâs wedding, the way Mingyu looked at you as he was shotgunning smoke into your mouth and â yeah, you knew exactly how you ended up here.
If you kept telling yourself this was for the better, maybe youâd start believing it. Maybe your feelings would drift like smoke and your motherâs wedding would be a final farewell before you two went your separate ways.
But you had been doing that for a month now.
And those feelings refused to fade.
You had an early morning flight the day of your motherâs wedding. Typically, you wouldnât be getting to a destination wedding on such short notice, but the ceremony was small. So small your mother refused to have a rehearsal dinner and no bridal party. It was about her and Nathan, and you had to respect that she was doing things her way this time around.
You had waited at your gate right before doors closed for Mingyu, since you were on the same flight. But he was clearly running late and you were much too awkward around him now to text him. So you finally got on the plane and found your seat, noticing the one seat in the back still left unoccupied. Once you had landed five hours later, you quickly headed to the hotel that Nathan had booked for the ceremony and reception. Your phone lit up as you hailed a ride.
Mingyu: Iâm sorry, I got a new flightÂ
Mingyu: Iâll be there just 2 hours after you land
Mingyu: Iâll make it for the ceremony. I promise
Feeling his anxiety radiate through your phone, you believed him, and then wondered if maybe this was a blessing in disguise. You were rewarded a few more hours of alone time before you had your last hurrah with Mingyu. Maybe if you buried your feelings deep enough, you wouldnât tense up the second you saw his face. Maybe if you didnât look into his eyes, you wouldnât have the urge to kiss him. Or let him hold your hand. Or spread your legs to welcome him inside â
You dropped your lipgloss onto the bathroom counter, sick of your own thoughts. Your square-neck, baby blue dress was clinging to every curve, but you felt like you were being suffocated by the fabric. You had just finished doing your hair and makeup, but you couldnât quite keep your thoughts at bay. Nerves batted against your skull, making your hands shake slightly. What would you do once Mingyu walked in? Would you avoid his stare? Would you tell him immediately how much you liked him and how this wouldnât work out and you knew you set yourself up for heartbreak â
Maybe you needed a walk.
Grabbing a spare pair of sandals, you headed outside to walk the beach just along the grounds of the hotel. There was still an hour before the ceremony, and you could just see the planners putting finishing touches on the decorations laid out on the shore, where your mother wanted it to take place. Couples were still walking through the water. Kids were making sand castles. The sun was slowly beginning to set and the breeze was whipping your hair off your shoulders.
And you smiled, despite everything you were feeling. Because where there was an end, there would always be a new beginning.
âHEY!â
You spun around, your sandals sinking into the sand. Although you recognized his voice, the last thing you expected to see was Kim Mingyu running towards you in his pristine black tux, his tie loose around his neck and blowing in the breeze. It was like something out of a movie, the kind of movie where there was supposed to be a happy ending, but you knew you werenât afforded luck like that in real life.
He stopped in front of you, running a hand through his hair. Sand sprinkled down the tops of his shoes.
âWhen did you get here?â You raised a brow.
âAbout twenty minutes ago. I flew in my tux because I figured I wouldnât have enough time to change. But now it just kind of smells like âŠâ He lifted the sleeve to his nose and inhaled. âLike peanuts and old plastic.â
You giggled, holding a hand to your mouth and just ⊠staring at him. He was smiling at you, fangs poking out from under his top lip. His skin was even prettier in the sunset. His hair, despite the messy texture, was effortless and perfect. He embodied sunshine in its purest form.
âWell, you âŠâ You looked to the water, your hands flexing at your sides. âYou didnât need to come find me out here.â
His voice was sweet, soft, like fresh sheets, when he replied, âYes, I did.â His hand reached out a little, attempting to lace your fingers together, but he stuffed them in his pockets instead. âWhen I was wondering where youâd be, I remembered something you said to me in college ⊠Do you remember Move-In Day of junior year when we had that bonfire with Vernon and a few other people? You really didnât enjoy my company back then, but I sat next to you because you agreed to sharing that god awful cheap vodka we used to like.â He laughed when you grimaced. âWe got to talking and I asked you, âIf you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?â And you said something like, âI want to be walking on a beach. Iâve always felt the most calm with my toes in wet sand.ââ
You blinked, wondering if you had heard him right. He ⊠how did he ⊠âYou remember that?â
âI remember a lot of things.â
And there he was, reaching out again and brave enough to brush his fingers over your knuckles. You looked down, watching his hand interlock with yours, and his palms were balmy and calloused. They felt familiar, like home. And you simply couldnât believe that you had deprived yourself of this.
âDid you mean it when you said, âIâve always been yours?ââ
Your head snapped up, tsking under your breath. Hand still intertwined with his, you pushed a lock of hair behind your ear. âYou came all the way out here to ask me that?â You asked, flustered and agitated.
His brow shot up. âSo thatâs a yes then?âÂ
Your mouth opened, but then closed when you realized that he caught you.Â
He added, his voice like velvet again, âThen why are you avoiding me? I can sense it.â
âWell, if youâre that sensitive to other peopleâs feelings than I guess that ââ You paused, taking a deep breath as you gathered yourself. Your ears reddened. âLook, I think itâs pretty obvious that Iâve ⊠I like you. A lot. But having feelings for you would be so messy. The last time I went through this, we hooked up and you hardly spoke to me after.â
Mingyuâs brow furrowed. âThat was years ago.â
âYou know how uncommitted youâve always been,â you quickly remarked, even though you didnât fully believe those words anymore. âWerenât you the one that told me at the start of this that men never really grow up?â
His eyes narrowed a little. âAre you playing psychological warfare with me right now?â
Slipping your fingers away from his, you shrugged. âMaybe.â
âIâve been your date to five weddings this year. It wasnât just about losing some bet. I did it for you.â He stared at you incredulously. âAre you really going to hold me to a mistake I made six years ago? When I was a shitty 22-year-old that was terrified to tell the girl I liked for years that I was interested in her?â
âI never ⊠I never thought you liked me back then.â
Mingyuâs gaze softened, and he tucked another curl behind your ear that blew in the wind. âI made you believe that I didnât because it was easier than admitting my feelings. I was terrified of rejection. And an idiot.â
You couldnât help but snort at his comment, but you knew this conversation was far from over. âWell, I âŠâ You rubbed at your nose and turned away from him, facing the water that looked almost sapphire in color. The waves sparkled under the setting sun. âWedding season is over after this and we can both go back to our normal lives. Vernon wonât flip a lid when he sees me texting you all the time and everything will be back to the way it was. I always prepared for you to just forget about me after this anyway.â
âI love Vernon, but this isnât about him.â Mingyu stepped forward into your line of vision. âWhat if I donât want to go back to the way things were?â
Your eyes flickered to his, and it was his turn to step closer again. His large palm cupped your cheek, his skin always so cozy and inviting that you just had to lean into him. Fingertips traced your brow bone as his gaze lingered on your lips.
âI donât want to forget about you or never see you again. I want to be around you,â he confessed. âI ⊠want to go on more dates with you. I want to be your date to more than just weddings.â
You hesitated, unraveling and dissecting each word in your head, before you came to the conclusion that ⊠oh, my god, he had feelings for you too. Had you always been this much of an absolute moron?
Getting on your tiptoes, you closed the distance between you two, your lips crashing onto his like the water against the shoreline. Your body almost suctioned to his, bringing him even closer when your arms wound around his neck. He kept that one hand on your cheek, the other splaying on your lower back, like how he always did when he was nervous. But he had nothing to be nervous about, because you liked him and he liked you. The world felt like it was spinning, but also just right, and his tongue was licking into your mouth enough to make you feel breathless. You could do this forever, be this relaxed in his arms, kiss him as if it was only you two in your own world. And as he tugged on your bottom lip to make your breathing heavy, you decided that your dream had become a reality.
When you broke the kiss, your cheeks were definitely flushed, even under the layer of blush you put on. Mingyu grinned, tilting his head as he whispered, âSo you have always been mine then?â
âSuch a tease sometimes,â you repeated his fateful words from June.Â
You turned, tugging on his hand playfully as the waves begin to lick at the sand near your feet. âCâmon,â you chuckled. âIf weâre late to this wedding, my mom will kill me before I can even think about calling you my boyfriend.â
Mingyu had wanted to ask you to marry him only two years later, and thank god, he finally found the words.