cookie monster @littlemisstembam - Tumblr Blog

porpentine-deactivated20201218

i’m into really low commitment hangouts like lying on the floor near each other or falling asleep together or falling into an endless void together

me: mom i can't go to school the stress is bad for the baby

mom: what baby?

me: me

thedisneysupreme

so my friend’s mom is a baker…

tpt-moved

grayskymorning

Floret Flowers

transheadcrab

do you ever get mad at yourself because youre not even good at the things you thought you were good at

perfsicle

jelmurdocca-blog

elijahgood-blog

I’m a strong independent introvert who don’t need no social life

the-fashion-alba

bullletproof-love

Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.

comic-canary

My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.

Who alway got in trouble? Me.

They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.

She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.

The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.

edmundo-noches-buckley

I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.

So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize.

“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.

These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me.

“Melissa, did you punch him?”

“Yes.” I said.

“Why?”

“Because he snapped my bra strap.”

And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.”

“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.”

“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?”

I didn’t get suspended that day.

lotrlocked

*slow clap for excellent parenting*

ive-got-a-dark-side

This is the parent I want to be omg

ayetroyler

kristenwiiggle

I’m the customer

toasteggs-000-deactivated202204

i dont understand the stereotype that women are obsessed with shoes, like have u ever met a high school boy

pokemonprofessor

#oh no i got a single fleck of dirt on my 200 dollar white adidas quick someone get me bleach and a toothbrush

k-lionheart-deactivated20171126

i don’t think you people understand how exACTLY ACCURATE THIS FCUKNIG POST IS

hmmmmmmmmmmmnnmmm

when you’re trying to sing your favorite song and your friend tries to start singing with you

itsrebeccablack

HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING AROUND

cracked

11 Self-Defense Techniques (That Even A Child Could Use)

xxxkyrareaperxxx-deactivated201

These are great! These are all really useful methods of defending yourself and I actually learned most of these in my Krav Maga classes.

I would have to go up against people (usually guys) twice my size and could easily overpower me, but these tricks DO work and they don’t require a lot of strength.