I Hate Naming Stuff

Early 20's, mega uncool in every way, terrified of being seen or known. Desperately trying to love how I live my life.

[littleredspider]

A Little About Me

I come to life when

my hands or feet are moving

mountain water is flowing over my feet

the air is biting cold and when it's dark and miserable out

I feel that I have some space, privacy, and agency

I'm delusionally invested in fantasies of being understood by my crush who doesn't know me. I'm so lucky to be surrounded by the love of family and friends despite being introverted and loserish by nature. My closest voluntary relationship to gender is being eldest sister/daughter who seriously needs to fight her well-meaning dad just a little bit pretty often. I love the human figure, herping, walking, disruptive and subversive tendencies, flexible routine, spider-verse and trolls, behavior, and complaining.

I need to find more accurate and accessible ways to express myself, I need to let myself be witnessed, I need to care for myself, and I need to let go of expectation. I joined tumblr in Jan of 2025 to start trying to expose my art/depictions of my self image/depictions of my interests/depictions of my surroundings as a way to practice letting myself be seen and test my comfort zone. I want my art to have more soul sauce and living energy someday. I'm trying really hard to love the way I live my life again so I want to be bolder, expressive, seen, and understood. I want to bask in mutual love, protection, and creation.

I hate bigotry, excessive wealth, and gen AI.

[littleredspider]

Misery/depression postung: My drawing has been broken for months. I don't feel like drawing or knitting or sewing or walking or doing any of my fun creative outlets. I don't feel like myself and desperately want to get back to it. Here are some 30-60sec line-of-action warm up sketches done in attempt to get me going again. I hope this works.

[littleredspider]

Obviously I'm not a digital artist by preference, but I wanted to screw around in a different medium today. Self portrait of one of the rare moments where I feel like a woman. More specifically, the woman, Dana Scully. Why do homework when I can do lipsticks and draws?

Reference photo

[littleredspider]

Terrified of it all happening again. There's nothing that can make me feel more lonely than the presence of other people and there's nothing that shuts me down like being on track to being okay. Trying to warm up the neglected drawings with some beautiful brown ink and a rough self portrait. Playing Jesse Welles and Ted Lasso in the background for hope and good vibes.

[littleredspider]

Posting some of my favorite sketches and doodles from my notes for the classes that I used a notebook in over this past semester: "Intro to Entomology" class notes

[littleredspider]

Posting some of my favorite sketches and doodles from my notes for the classes that I used a notebook in over this past semester: "Vetebrate Zoology" class notes

[littleredspider]

Posting some of my favorite sketches and doodles from my notes for the classes that I used a notebook in over this past semester: "Philosphy of Wilderness" class notes

[littleredspider]

you seem very poetic and I like your art so. hi there

Hello! I really don't feel all that poetic or like I use words in any comprehensible way lol, but thank you so much! I loved your art too when I saw your page

[littleredspider]

I'm losing myself and not doing what I need to take care of my soul. Hoping to at least draw about it more to get pointed back in the right direction one step at a time. So I have another self portrait. Also FUCK CANVAS and homework in general. Would rather be a student of the woods than of the traditional education system.

[littleredspider]

Self portrait sketches as time management self-sabotage

[littleredspider]

New self portrait done in wildly unadvised avoidance of my accumulating work before finals. I could work on the assigned art I have to do within the next 9 hours before my morning class, or I can document one of my first ponytails since my buzzcut and sing poorly to myself at 2 am.

[littleredspider]

Crashout self portraits when I CAN NOT afford the time it takes to do them but I might die if I don't

Two more similar pics. One with cool sunlight spilling onto my portrait, the other was a color pencil warm up.

[littleredspider]

Quick self portrait of me feeling chill, wanted to capture the look of stability and inner peace

[littleredspider]

Super cartoonized quick self portrait sketch, featuring my hateful hat-hair, with the base sketch finishing as the water in my kettle comes to a boil. The shitty shading was like an additional 5 minutes while slurping down uncooled tea. Not my normal style at all but I kinda like it I think

[littleredspider]

Self portrait sketch. Tried smashing mouths together for the first time today, kinda peak ngl

[littleredspider]

Violently avoiding my shit ton of homework with nakedness and soft medias. Red chalk and charcoal rough self portrait.

[littleredspider]

I hate killing bugs and I love the creek. She's such lovely after dinner company.