I keep finding myself going around and around in my head about what to do in my life.
An update first I suppose is in order.
I haven’t had a laptop for a long time so that is why I haven’t really posted in a long time. I find it much easier to journal than on a phone where the phone is notifications constantly shoved down my throat and an uncomfortable amount of distractions.
I had a baby September 26, 2020. Her name is Evie.
Let me back up, I ran away and got married at 20, to someone who was in the military, someone I went to school with. He graduated two years before me. So I move to Louisiana for 9 months. Then we move to Germany, I find out he cheated on me when we first got married and that was the final straw.
Then I meet the One. We chased each other around the world. Moved to Denver together.
But then I lost control of myself. Drugs had control of me. I fucking ruined the relationship with the best person I’ve ever had.
I go down the rabbit hole. For a few years. Lose pretty much everything.
I have to surrender my dog to my ex husband who I didn’t end up divorcing officially until 5 years after we separated.
I get to a point where I am homeless and can barely support myself. Can’t hold a fucking job literally to save my life and end up working in a strip club.
That’s when I met the father of my child. He is an amazing father to our child.
Life is comfortable. For the most part.
When I needed to jump for the One I was too scared but then I lost him and lost my mind and all sense.
I want to move away again.
All that’s been hitting me lately is hindsight.
I am working on manifesting things differently.
Lately it has been stupid shit.
Like a bag of walnuts. Lol.
romaincrisis
gamechangershow
yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
pixelskylines
