This song just described my life :(
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if i look back, i am lost

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Sweet Seals For You, Always

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@littletigerroars
This song just described my life :(
Lunch date for today.
Honestly
I’m afraid to fall in love again because I’m afraid of getting hurt from it.
🎥 Maidigitv | YT Choreo: akane Dancers: Tomioka Dance Club #登美丘高校ダンス部 #GreatestShowman🎩
Happy New Years 2018! Photos taken by Me
Signature Coconut Ice-cream with Teh Tarik, Gula Melaka and Kaya.
Positivity.
In less than two months, we’re approaching New Years, and so 2018 begins.
Recapping 2017, at the time being.... well it’s not so bad.
It has been such an amazing 2017. Alhamdulillah, I’ve been well. Been through some ups and downs but mostly this year, ups. I could not be more thankful and grateful. Subhanallah.
I guess it’s true that things happens for a reason, and I am strong enough to accept what had happened to me in the past and move on.
This year, I made new friends, united with old friends whom I had lost in touch. Discover new places and adventures. Picked up a new hobby. I have great friends that are always there for me. I’ve got a new job. I’ve managed to convert my loans into scholarship. I just feel.... great.
Things would have been different if it stayed the same. But I’m glad it didn’t.
I am still single, but it’s okay. I felt lonely but I know that I’m definitely not alone. Sometimes I longed for company, those “what ifs and if only...” moments just comes in the darkest hour. But it’s okay. Not a problem for me to eat on my own. Not a problem for me to shop on my own. Not a problem for me to watch movies all by myself because no one is available to watch with me. Not a problem for not getting any good morning/good night texts. Not a problem. Not to mention, on the brightside I could dodge those couple dramas and those unnecessary fights and emotions. I could even hang out with WHOEVER I wanted and no one else controls my life. All those bullshit passive aggressive, using the name of love proves how unhealthy relationship we were in. I’m so glad that it’s over.
In fact, I’ve got so much time focusing on myself, actually have the time to achieve what I wanted to do, spending on myself, make myself feel better. What’s important? Love yourself and realize how you worth. One day, a guy will love you for who you are and respect you. Well, if it still didn’t happen, at least you still have your family who loves you for who you are.
I am an independent. Career driven. Successful woman.
고마워 내가 나이게 해줘서 이 내가 날게 해줘서 이런 내게 날갤 줘서 꼬깃하던 날 개 줘서 답답하던 날 깨줘서 꿈 속에만 살던 날 깨워줘서 널 생각하면 날 개어서 슬픔 따윈 나 개 줬어 (Thank you. ‘우리’가 돼 줘서) Thank you for letting me be me For helping me fly For giving me wings For straightening me out For waking me from being suffocated For waking me from a dream which was all I was living in When I think of you the sun comes out So I gave my sadness to the dog (Thank you. For being ‘us’)
Save Me, BTS
“When people act or speak in cold-hearted ways, it hurts deeply. But allows you to heal quicker.” - Yasmin Mogahed
More islamic quotes HERE
More islamic quotes HERE
Where life takes me
I'm finally reaching that stage where I'm growing up and looking for a job. Thinking about the future startled me. Like what am I going to do next, where life is going to take me? What's my life is going to be? Am I going to get married or stay single for life? More responsibilities that I have to carry on my shoulders. 5 years has gone too fast.
Life is a drink and love is a drug.
I'm tired and sleep deprived. But once I thought about you, tears just runs down my face and I couldn't sleep anymore. I thought about the things you did now. I thought about those things you did to me. Those things you used to do for me. Everything. I feel really really sad. I don't know why am I doing this, it keeps me sad. It's hurting me slowly. I don't know who to talk to. I don't know how to keep myself calm. Loving you hurts me to the core. Ya Allah, give me strength. Keep me away from all of these. Give me amnesia, let me forget.
All I know, is that I’m lost whenever you go.
All I know, is that I love you so, so much that it hurts.
“Inside of hope It's all that I know It's what I'm moved for It's what I live for Wave goodbye to a time That you once believed was everything “
1 month
It has been exactly one month since he broke up with me.
The pain........... it was undeniably unbearable. Up until now, I still dreamed of you. I don’t know what my dreams are trying to tell me, but I know I miss you. I miss all the times we had together..
You’re my other half.
We were inseparable.
When I broke the news to other people, they thought I was joking. Seriously, me...joking? How can I be joking? I’m like one of the most up-tight person ever. And when do I even know how to lie? That’s so not me. I couldn’t believe it myself too. It didn’t occurred to me that you would actually, breaking up with me.
I was just in-disbelief.
I thought all these while we’re happy together. You’re my bestfriend. Now that you’re gone... I just feel empty, lonely.. I had to make new friends, hang out with people I’ve never hung out with. Make new bestfriends.... It’s just soooo different.
What about all the promises that you’ve made? Our future plans to be together? Have you ever thought about how it would break me apart? I didn’t know that you were unhappy being with me. It felt like you’ve just heard the biggest lie on Earth. If you could just.... be honest with me. Tell me in the beginning. Why tell me all these now? If you’re so afraid to tell me, because you’re scared of what I would react, how is that now you’re not afraid to break up with me... to leave me all by myself ? I don’t know how this is sooooo okay with you.
You stole one thing that no one ever successfully did. Stole my heart. And now that it’s broken.... I feel so numb.
I cried for days when you broke up with me. You broke me into a million pieces. I couldn’t think straight. I was so heartbroken. I needed help.
I love you so much..Too much.. More than any human being in this world. I was there for you, I was there when you fell, I was there when you needed help. I cared so much for you. Yes, I might be over reacted, over thinking. Causing a fight, or what not.. that’s because I just care too much. I’m so afraid of losing you that it actually becomes the reason why that I lose you. So ironic.
If you could just try to let me in....... if you could just try to make me understand you. After all these while, don’t tell me that I don’t meant anything to you ?
And all your responses are “I don’t know.”
“I can’t make you happy”
“You deserve better”
How is that so hard to make me happy? All I wanted was attention. That’s all. I thought you knew me. All these while you did. And suddenly.... you just don’t anymore.
You’ve changed. You got bored of me. You got rid of me. You’ve got everything that you’ve wanted. I gave everything I had to you. I had nothing left.
Everyone could see that I was no longer the ‘happy’ girl that I used to be, or they used to know. I ate less and less each day. I had one meal per day if there was anyone cared enough to accompany me to eat, or else I won’t eat.
I was depressed and stressed. Until at one point I was ill for no apparent reason. I stopped eating. I ate very little until I got a terrible gastric. And then, I couldn’t eat because everything I tried to digest in my stomach just comes back out from my mouth. I became very weak and got admitted to the hospital. It was my first time getting dripped and it was really uncomfortable. I was sick for a week or so.
I had enough questioning myself, blaming myself for what had happened. I’m not going to get any valid answers. Maybe you had your reasons, maybe you’re sick and tired of me. But you know what.... it’s fine. I don’t deserved to be deserted like this. You....mean.... ungrateful person. I hope one day you will realise that there are no one else like me. No one has loved you with all their heart and all their might like I do. Even sometimes I had to put up with your nonsense behaviour, no one is as patient as I do. No one is as loyal as I do. I don’t talk to guys, I listened to you, I don’t sit with guys unless it’s the only seat there, I followed all your nonsense rules and yet you still left.
I’m just grateful that other people took pity of me and tried to make me feel better. They tried to cheer me up, forced me to smile even when I can’t, gave me a pat on the back and also gave me a piece of advice. I surrounded myself with positive people, asked tips and asked for their opinions on break ups. I was so new with this. You were my first love, and when it happened to me, I didn’t know what to do. At least you had practices. And knowing guys, they’ll be okay in a jiffy.
I’m glad that I still have friends who guided me towards God. Made me think and be more open about what had happened. Have faith in God. Now, I feel like maybe God just love me. God wants to test my faith. Everything happens for a reason, they say.
I’m getting stronger each day, without realising. I stopped blaming myself, because it wasn’t entirely my fault. I’ve learned things the hard way. I’ve become more thankful and grateful to people who were care enough for me, checks on me from time to time, made sure that I was okay..
If God wants to change people’s heart, He can do it. Nothing can stop Him. Work my relationship with God, and He will make sure that I will be happy. If it’s not here on Earth, at least I could still be happy in the hereafter. I pray to God everyday to be stronger, to forgive all my sins and let me have the courage to go through all of His tests. As long as I have God to watch over me, I’ll be okay.
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I love him, but only on my own. (played by Carrie Hope Fletcher)
It’s really weird watching my face do the things it does every night but that I never actually see it do!