Triggered Thoughts & Grounded Emotions (Part 2 of Reminder)
Triggered Thoughts (Part 2A)
(This is the continuation of the Wall-drawing inspired scene from Book of Life, since it wasn’t in the show.)
(Olive is an original character)
(Olive and Jack will switch POV a lot. Spoilers for Season 3 and Book 3 of ADOW)
(17/01/2022:
Note 1: For some reason this post isn’t showing up on the tags I’ve used, so I’m splitting this into 2 to see if it helps in a way.
Note 2: I think I fixed the issue so I might try putting the two parts back on the same post and see what happens, if the issue is still there, I will repost part 2. Really, really sorry about this annoyance.)
*Spoilers for Season 3 and Book 3 of A Discovery of Witches*
**This will be a long post**
The body of the man vanished and stood further away on the other side of the room. The spot he once had was a pool of blood, a reminder of what was there not moments ago. The man blinked once, before speaking.
“Jack?” the voice that came out wasn’t right, two voices spoke, male and female. The second time he spoke, it was all female.
“Jack?” Something cold sends chills all over, my vampire heart thudded louder than normal, harder as well, I knew that voice.
The man stepped forward, and fear paralysed me; the man I just killed wasn’t there anymore, but someone else was.
Long brown curly hair fell down past her shoulders, a few of them peeked around her hips. Instead of deep blue, a set of brown-hazel eyes stared back at me, flooded with tears that ran down her face. Her neck was torn open, blood coated her left side, the fabric of her blue shirt darkened. The chain of her silver necklace was lost in the blood. Some blood spotted her cheek. Her skin was ghastly white.
I watched her touch her neck where it was ripped open, her fingers coated with blood. She looks from her fingers to me, eyes wide with shock. “What did you do?!”
The snarl Jack had disappeared when looking at me, his inky eyes were wide and glassy, tears fell fast and heavy down his ghastly white face, which was becoming increasingly paler. Dark veins appeared on parts of his face and his brows were raised. Jack looked like he had seen a ghost, or was still seeing one. I took a step forward then jumped back when in a blur, he was off the scaffold and backed away from me to crash himself in the corner, his head bangs against the wall hard.
I gasped then hurried closer but before I could get to him, his hands shot out to stop me from coming closer.
“No! Stay back!” He screamed.
He clenched his teeth as something caused his body to shudder, his hands in tight fists. He bangs his head back into the wall, he pants as something washes over him. I could hear his heart hammering, fast and hard, it was unnatural to the very slow beat vampire hearts make. My own was felt in my throat, bitterness was there too. What the hell happened in here?
I felt the threads pool in my hands, magic coursed through me and swirled around. The ground beneath me started to pulsate, Earth was calling to me, ready to provide me strength to attack. Air prickled my skin as it caused the papers to rustle, some went flying and I grabbed the few papers I could catch and looked at them, to see if they would offer any answers. They were faces, just faces Jack had already drawn. Some other ones were of locations, London, France, others were of inside random buildings. A house, a church. One was the inside of what appears to be an abandoned hospital.
I looked back to Jack, who was panting heavily, the veins much darker now. The inside of his mouth was much darker, almost black. Red pooled in the sea of black in his eyes and they flicker to show me the ocean blue for a brief moment before becoming ebony black again, he looks at me with burning rage.
My blood went cold as it dawned to me what’s wrong, this was blood rage!
Every instinct in me was telling me to run, run fast and now. But I couldn’t, my legs couldn’t move, they collapsed on me and I dropped to my knees. I couldn’t swallow. This is what they warned me about, Jack warned me about this. He gasped and huddles close to the wall, his body hunching over, his hair covering his face. Marcus told me to never ever run if he was like this, any sudden movements would set him off more, I wouldn’t be fast enough to stop him doing God knows what and he would never forgive himself for what he has done, I don’t think at this moment I could do anything. Ice paralysed my legs. My head was screaming with his emotions, pain, anger, rage, regret, panic, all thrashing around each other like wild winds, it was becoming white noise as he was fighting for control. His own scream echoed in my mind. My head was pounding and I clutched it as it got louder till it cancelled all the other noises, all I heard was him and him alone.
He didn’t answer, he was still under the influence of the blood rage. He wasn’t going to tell me anything, it doesn’t matter, I’m going to find out myself! I grabbed the threads in my hands and clutched them tight as I started to weave, I felt magic flow through me as my witch’s eye opened, ignoring the throbbing headache I was getting and I watched the room change. The bright lit bedroom has started to become dark and dull, taking on a rotten black-green colour. The carpet floor disintegrated and became cold and grainy, I was now on my knees in concrete. On the wall, I saw an old whiteboard, an x-ray of something and an unhooked phone. The smell of paper and pencils was replaced with the pungent smell of medical drugs and blood, my nose scrunched at the intensity, and twitched at the blood. It smelt, divine. My throat burned at the smell, it made me hungry. Something burned under my skin as I clenched my teeth, I slammed my clenched hand to my head.
“Snap out of it!” I told myself, “It’s not real.” I took a shaky breath to regain control. Once I did, I looked back to Jack.
Jack’s clothes had changed now, they were covered in blood, his navy hoodie and white shirt-stained garnet red. His mouth had bloodstains around it. I was going to ask where the blood came from but I saw the answer, I looked at the dead body in between us, dead and lifeless. His neck was torn open, blood coated the skin garnet. His deep blue eyes were dark, lifeless, lips slightly parted. Blood too was around his lips, was it the guy’s or did Jack try to save him? But that wasn’t the disturbing part of it, the part that made me take a step back was that the body it flickered from the victim’s to mine. My own face stared back at me, fear and pain the last thing I felt before I died, my eyes vacant and lifeless. Bile rise up my throat and I swallowed. I took a shaky breath and tried to breathe.
The wall of this abandoned hospital flickered into Jack’s bedroom wall with the mural of London and three men.
Nails digging into my palms, I swallowed and got up on shaky legs, my eyes never leaving him. “Jack, this is all in your head,” I told him, taking a step forward.
He snarled at me, I jolted back. This is a bad idea!” My mind screamed. “Leave!”
I took a hesitant step forward, “It’s okay, it’s okay. Listen to me, this isn’t real.”
I left just enough space between us as I knelt in front of him, his teeth were clenched so tight I thought they would break, a single thread was wrapped around my left pinkie was ready just in case, and I hoped it wouldn’t come to it.
“Jack, talk to me please,” I said hesitantly.
He looked at me with fear in his eyes. “You—you shouldn’t be here! He’ll hu—”
“Who?” I asked “Matthew? Marcus? Baldwin? They won’t—”
He violently shook his head, “No!” He cuts me off, then spits a name with an amount of venom to make a snake’s one look like a child’s spit. “Benjamin.”
His tormentor, Matthew’s rejected son, the man who tortured Matthew in the name of revenge, Hubbard's maker, the mistake of the fam-- NO, he was never part of Jack’s family, he was a stain, a screw up. I was only told stories by a handful of people of what that man did to Jack, but was he triggering the blood rage? I looked deeper into his head, that name kept coming up; it was.
I swallowed the fear stuck in my throat and tried to talk some sense in Jack, try to snap him out of whatever this is. “He’s dead,” I told him. “Listen to me, he’s dead. He can’t hurt you.”
He didn’t believe me, nor took one look at me. “Look at me, please look at me!”
This was a trick, she wasn’t real. Olive can’t be here. She’s lying dead not far from me.
“This place isn’t real.” She tells me, her eyes never leaving me. “You’re in your room, we’re in your room. At Matthew and Diana’s, in London. That man is dead, long gone. Burnt to ashes and swept up like dust.” She shook her head, “He can’t do anything to you anymore.”
“She lies.” Benjamin’s voice rings in my ear, “I will always live, inside your head. Reminding you of what you truly are.”
A snarl left my lips, and I watched her move away from me. “I—I don’t believe you. You’re—.”
She placed her hands on my face, lightning and fire splintered through me, her touch was real, warm. I looked at her, really looked, no blood. Her neck wasn’t torn open, the small spot on the bridge of her nose, the weird point on her left ear, the flecks of green in her eyes. I reach out and touch her cheek, solid, warm. Real.
She removes a hand to grab mine, her gaze leaves me and she looks down at it momentarily before looking back, “Look at your hand and tell me if you see any blood.”
I looked and saw nothing, I watch her turn my hand over, no blood. There was nothing on my hand apart from the pencil lead stained on my fingers.
“You don’t see any, do you?” she says.
I looked at her, she was unharmed. There is no blood, I told myself. I shook my head to tell her I didn’t see anything.
I felt and heard her blood sing as magic flowed through her. Her hazel eyes glowed faint gold. “Scatter thoughts, fearful heart. Panic body, panic mind, show what I can see to ease the fear, show what is here to ease the disbelief, show us what I am seeing to ease.”
The room started to brighten; the rotten green colour of the hospital transformed into a bright white. The ground we sat on here softened, carpet and floorboards were under us instead of concrete. A bed appeared in opposite to us, as did the window seat and a desk. All familiar. She was right. We were in my room, I was here all this time, however, the place looked like an absolute mess though. Paper was scattered all over the floor along with pencil stubs. My sketchbook was on the floor, spine facing upwards. The walls were covered in murals, my own work. The room then shifted back into the hospital.
Rage boiled inside and a low growl escaped my teeth. Olive shuffles back, her eyes widen the slightest, her heart skips a beat. She takes a shaky breath then grabs my arm as she tries calming me. It didn’t do much.
“You need to breathe,” she tells me, “Breathe and focus on me, don’t worry about anything else, just look at me and breathe.”
I did. But when I looked at her, the bloodied version of her appeared in front of me. I couldn’t breathe. I pressed myself harder to the wall.
Olive’s eyes were filled with worry. “Jack? Jack!”
My heart was hammering and air got stuck in me. Panic was on Olive’s face now, it consumed her.
I heard it in her voice too. “Jack, you need to tell me what you need!” she pants, “How do I help you?”
“You can’t!” I grunted, hunching closer to the wall. “I’ve tried everything.”
The music didn’t do anything, his voice was louder. All the other times it helped out, but why not today?! The breathing just made the pounding in my head and heart worse. I’ve tried to focus on the present, but whatever I chose just reminded me of what I did. Nothing was working!
“And nothing worked?” she asked.
I nodded. She sat back and paused for what felt like ages, she presses her lips into a thin line as she thought. Then I saw face light up.
“Tell me five things.” She says.
Confusion creased my brows, I blinked. “What?”
Grounded Emotions (Part 2B)
“Five things?” I thought, “What does Olive mean by five things?! How is this going to help?”
She tells me again, more firmly. “We’re going to try something, trust me. I need to focus on me and listen, tell me five things you can see. Look around you and tell me what you can see; just five things.”
“Trust me please.” She begged, “Look.”
I sighed, may as well try. And I did, my eyes taking in everything. What do I say? What do I choose? Would anything be a suitable answer? A thousand thoughts ran through my mind.
My eyes looked everywhere until they stopped above, where the light bulb sat. “I see the light bulb above us.”
She looks up for herself, nods, then looks back at me. “Good. That’s one down. 4 more.”
I looked over her shoulder to where my desk flickered in and out of the abandoned hospital, I focused on the desk trying to find something. Laptop? Mouse? The photo frame?
I said the first thing that came to mind, the last thing I saw on the desk. “I can see the picture frame of London behind you on the desk.”
She turned around to see for herself, she looks back at me with something close to a smile.
She nods, “Good, that’s one. I need 3 more.”
I look to our left, “I can see the table turned over.”
I looked all over the floor, “I can see the papers.”
I went back to the desk, “My laptop, I see my laptop.”
She sighs, “Good! Now tell me 4 things you hear. Close your eyes, it’ll help you focus.”
I heard Benjamin’s chuckle, “Liar. She’ll leave you.” He whispered. “ Just like Matthew and Diana.”
Panic caused me to lash out, I grabbed the first thing I could touch, her wrists were tiny in my hands, nails digging deep into the flesh. She swallowed and her eyes were focused on my grip on her. Worry creased her brows.
"Squeeze harder." I heard Benjamin whisper in my head, "if you squeezed harder, would you snap her bone? How loud do you think she would scream? Would she kill you before you have the chance? She has more spirit than you it appears," I heard him laugh.
She let out a shaky breath as her heart skip a beat, then another. And another.
Her blood hummed as I watched her eyes glow amber.
“You’re afraid.” She observed, “You’re afraid I’ll leave you. You don’t have to be. I won’t leave.” She gave me a reassuring smile, “I promise.”
My own heart thudded in my ears and I let go of her wrist to hold her hand, I sighed. “Okay, don’t let me go.”
Olive doesn’t break her gaze. “I won’t.” She reassures.
I did what she told and closed my eyes, I breathed in, slowly. I listened closely, still holding her. The first noise I picked up was the sound of cars, I heard their engines, tires driving on road, I heard some horns being used, yelling.
“I hear the traffic on the main road,” I told her, eyes still closed. “Some build up but not bad.”
I tried the house next, buzzing from downstairs was the first thing, it was a phone. It wasn’t mine. “I hear your phone downstairs. It’s on silent.”
“Explains a lot.” She said to herself before talking to me. “Now two left.”
Birds coming outside the window behind her. The loud raspy calls rang loud. I opened my eyes this time. “The birds outside. Crows.”
The loudest thing I could hear was her heart, pounding fast. She was scared. I loosened my grip on her hand, “I can hear your heartbeat.”
The rage seems to be dying down, the hospital merging with my room, white walls replaced the hospital ones, I saw my murals, London, a male victim. My bed was there too.
“Half-way now.” Olive’s voice brings me back, “3 things you can touch.”
Obvious one. I reach for her face, my fingers traced her cheek. “You.”
Her face started to warm. She cleared her throat. “2 more.”
I breathed in slow, taking my hand off her cheek to touch the carpet, the fibres rough under my palm.
I felt around the floor and jolted when something pointy pricks my skin. I look down to see the end of a pencil poking into the side of my hand.
“Pencil stub,” I told her, the thundering in my chest had started to quiet down, no longer audible in my ears.
“Two things you can smell.” She told me.
I smelt the room, the rustic smell of blood was no longer there. Instead, I picked up a dry and woody smell, cedar laced with mandarin, pink pepper, rose and cypress.
“I smell pencil shavings,” I told her.
“What else?” She asks, “Tell me one more thing.”
I breathed in and let the smells envelop me. I smelt the paper, the sweet almond-like scent, the lingering scent of the candle from downstairs, English Pear and Freesia. Dust. But the one scent that was the strongest, on the tip of my tongue, was her. I smelt her. Summer, she smelt like summer. Summer and Spring merged as one. Coconut, sea salt, caramel, peach, water jasmine, vanilla.
“I smell the pages of the books on the shelf next to the window,” I told her, looking over her shoulder.
“Taste.” She asks now. “I need one thing: what can you taste?”
I swallowed as I felt the blood rage receding once again deep within me, calmness washes over me. Mine, or Olive’s extra influence? The hospital was long now, we were tucked in the corner of my dishevelled room.
I tasted sweetness in the back of my throat, and tang. I didn’t need to think much to answer her this time. “The blood wine I had half an hour ago. I used sweet wine mixed with chicken’s blood.”
I closed my eyes and sighed, my head was silent. Benjamin had gone silent. I couldn’t hear him anymore, for now. But how long would it be until he plays with me again? Even dead he’s still infected me, made me sick. I looked down at my hands and watched the blood rage fade.
Olive
It seemed to have worked, I watched as colour started to return to his skin, the ghastly white becoming a distant memory. The darkness in his mouth was swallowed away and the dark veins melted into his skin, fading away. The inky black and red of his eyes faded and I watched the ocean blue take over, returning to its rightful place. I listened closely to his heartbeat, it was very faint, the normal vampire rate. Skin contact was all I needed to read him, he’s calm. He’s calm again.
I tucked his hair back, “You’re back to yourself again.”
His eyes started to go glassy. Tears fogged the ocean blue and worry caused my heart to thud. “Are you okay?”
He crushes me to his chest and holds me tight, burrowing his face in my neck. His body started to shake as cries bursts from him. Hot tears burn my skin. Pain, all I felt was pain.
I burrowed my fingers and face in his hair and held him tight. “Let it out,” I told him. “Let it out.”
