Living as POC

A space for People of Colour to speak our truths and affirm our lived experiences

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[[This is Isaiah Hine’s high school presentation on white fragility. You’re not going to get a simpler explanation, in my opinion, so if you’re white you should really read this. Below are Isaiah’s notes on each slide.]]

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What is White Fragility?

Robin DiAngelo is a professor at Westfield State University and author of What Does it Mean to Be White? Developing White Racial Literacy.

I’m sure you’ve all seen these ‘defensive moves’ in action before. “I didn’t mean anything by it” “I wasn’t trying to be offensive” “I have a black friend” “Not all white people”

People are often more worried about being called a racist than actually doing something racist. In America white people often don’t even have to consider race. They often think of themselves as “raceless” white is conditioned to be the norm and everyone else is considered “raced” or “colored”. White fragility allows white people to govern when and how race is discussed. White people expect to be educated on racism, and in a nice way.

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Why Is It A Bad Thing?

White people never learn as a result and are allowed to continue saying and doing racist things. White people prefer to hear these things from other white people but because other white people don’t know enough about racism, they cycle continues. When people of color do things like the BLACKLIVESMATTER movement, many white peoples responses were “all lives matter” this is white fragility. Proclaiming that black lives matter does not inherently mean that other lives don’t. This statement is made because society continually shows us that black lives don’t matter in america and these are the lives that need the affirming. We already know that white lives matter, it doesn’t need to be stated. White people are very used to being the center of things and when they aren’t it makes them uncomfortable.

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Why Does This Happen?

Most people don’t fully grasp the idea of systemic racism and that we live in a racist society that perpetuates racist ideas. We are socialized into white supremacy.

[livingaspoc-blog]

Repeat- I will not feed the trolls My existence is not an intellectual exercise My freedom is not a hypothetical I will not entertain debate about my right to exist Try once playing Devil’s advocate for me- Instead of absolutes, how about concrete freedom I can feel beneath my feet? My freedom is a period, not a hyphen or question mark . . . Mel Vee 2017

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“It’s time I write just as I whisper to my friends.”

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Willian Santiago: Kalemba

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Some positivity for your Monday morning…because sometimes we need a bit of light

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When you share your poetry while Black

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Over Familiarity

The sense of over familiarity people feel with women/femmes and POC'S in general is no accident. The effect is magnified if you are both a woman/femme and a POC.

Over familiarity, such as shortening names without prior permission, referring to someone with pet or childish names (sweetie, dear, love which imply prior intimacy), touching or stroking without permission (that innocent caress multiple times per day begins to feel raw and aggressive), inappropriately sharing details from one's life, refusing to use titles of respect and so on.

Over familiarity operates on a basis of disrespect and presumes there is an unequal power relationship. I feel familiar with you because I do not view you as an equal. The more marginalized the identity, the more likely someone will feel familiar with you without prior consent or intimacy.

Familiarity implies intimacy. For someone to feel familiar with me without prior intimacy means that it is presumed that I in someway belong to the person who feels familiar with me. It is even more important to note the intimacy is not reciprocated. The person who feels entitled to treat you in an overly familiar way would balk at you treating them in the same fashion which implies an unequal distribution of power.

It's no accident that Black men would be called boy as a sign of disrespect. To refer to someone as a childish or pet name (given the lack of respect society affords both children and animals) implies that you do not seriously consider that person as an adult or an equal. How many times have you heard a younger white person refer to an older Woman of Colour as a girl? If this doesn't scream a lack of respect, you are not paying attention. Would you call your own mother or an older woman you respect a girl?

Now when I'm out and about, I pay attention to how often people disrespect me or treat me in an over familiar way- not giving me enough space when I walk, when I sit, when I stand; how often people glare at me, bump into me, brush up against me; how often people call me girl or shorten my name without permission; how often people waste my time (because apparently it's not valuable to them and must be in abundance) or share their problems inappropriately.

Yet I'm flawed for being angry at this shit and have difficulty finding motivation to leave my house most days. With treatment like this on a regular basis, who would want to venture out into the world? It's a miracle I do work up the courage to venture out of my house each day...

With love, Mel Vee

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Because of course harassing the Black woman who is sitting by herself quietly reading on a bench is soooo fucking original. You are so brilliant for perpetuating misogynoir… because no one else has EVER thought of that before!

Congratulations on your shining originality and brilliance!

Keep Shinin', Mel Vee

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Why is this blog necessary?

The dominant culture may not recognize what it is like to be a person of color living in North America, as the privilege of always being represented in tv, print, art, film, or even on your smartphone’s emoji (unless you have an Apple or modified Android) does not force the white culture to seek out their reflection in the media.  The media representations often offer us up as secondary characters, as people one cannot relate to, as the “other.”  

This account was created to share experiences, to value our experiences as racialized individuals and recognize our truth, instead of having to “brush it off” as the way things just are.  We do not have to endure the small things that the dominant culture can carelessly deliver to “manage” on our own.  Sometimes actions and words are said without awareness of their impact. If a person being called in is humble enough to recognize the grain of truth in their intentions, change is possible for a more compassionate future.  

This is a site where persons of colour can vent their frustrations, heal, read other’s similar experiences and not have to process in a vacuum. I can only hope that non-POC visitors will respect this page as a learning resource of honesty and vulnerability.  

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