Life In The Mitten @livinginthemitten - Tumblr Blog

I can’t believe that the kids start school in about a month. Kate will be starting her first year of college. Krissy will be in 7th and Remy will be in 5th. Before I know it these younger two will be graduated soon enough. I swear the time goes by so quickly.

It’s been 4 years

Well, I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve been on here.

I’ve been through some crap these past four weeks.

I hope the heartbreak and humiliation isn’t for nothing. Hopefully God uses it for some good.

I've been so busy trying to get ready for my mom to come visit. I made the kids purge their stuff. And the playroom is no longer the playroom. It's the guest room now. They weren't even playing in there. They can still watch movies in there but no more toys.

My mom arrives today and is here for a week. Honestly, that's a long time. I don't even stay a week when I go out to visit her. Plus, she is staying here at the house.

Hopefully it's as nice visit.

Still surviving over here. The waves of emotion are coming a lot less...but this last week was terrible. It's part of healing and I'm actually ok with that. I think it's hard for Doug to see but as my mom said, it's part of the consequences for him. I'm not trying to make him feel bad, its unintentional.

Well, I survived stepping out of my comfort zone. I think I make more of a deal about it in my head than what anyone else is thinking. I had fun golfing. I got off the tee well, probably 50% of the time. We scrambled so it would go a little faster since me and the other woman from the couple aren't very good. She was hitting off the tee well too. We had some drinks during so that helped loosen me up. Then we had dinner outside on the patio at the clubhouse. It was really nice, we wound up staying until 10p. I actually like that couple after we all got to know each other better. So I am looking forward to the Rocket Mortgage Classic next week.

I think I'll start going to the driving range more often now that I really enjoyed it and I'm not so unsure of myself. I didn't duff my balls too much, not as much as I thought I would.

@sunisonmyside unfortunately she's in a high position in the bank, so sometimes he might actually have to do business through her regarding our accounts. I'm hoping though, that Doug making this new connection at the bank through a business loan he's looking to possibly take on, that that guy will be able to do most of what we need. And also, unfortunately she got us a type of account that rarely anyone has...it's a business sweep account. So she put all the stops out for him lol...plus we have a CD account that we can pull that money out any time without a penalty. I know our marriage is more important and I know if she gets crazier, he will get sick of it because he has little patience, and switch banks.

@hannahmisadventures I feel like she is crazy but not crazy enough that she would jeopardize her work. Work is more important than her kids and husband. Doug stopped talking to her as soon as he told me about what was going on. And she wouldn't contact him. Then when he needed something important business wise, she totally ignored him. He had to go to the bank and ask someone else but essentially she had to do it anyway because they weren't qualified. I think she's playing games with him. She goes a while taking care of certain business transactions and then she will ignore him for a few weeks. I told him she was trying to piss him off enough that he would go in and see her. So she would know she had control. Then he contacted her assistant and as soon as her assistant told her, she emailed him right away. 🙄

But to cut her out, he's using this guy at her bank for a business loan and is going to see if he can't set up the new business accounts if he decides to go through with this new business.

I'm so prepared in case she gets crazy though 😏.

I think I need to stop taking small things so seriously. Start being flexible. Laugh at myself. I think I'd be a lot less stressed.

Yesterday Doug asked me if I wanted to golf with a couple this Friday. I did not. Because I've been to the driving range once and I haven't been on a golf course in years. I think it made me angry because I was thinking, oh ok, you now want to take me out on the course when someone asks. I know I'm probably making a bigger deal than I should. But the woman in that couple has been on the course once, and her husband said she isn't good, so we are playing a scramble.

I know why I had a problem with it, I have some serious insecurities. I don't like to embarrass myself. This year made them worse than normal. I question everything about myself. I know it's normal because of everything and I'm just going to have to deal with these feelings. I can't ignore them. I have been stopping myself when I feel like they start to come up and talk myself through them. I found talking about then to my friend and mom, really helps.

Then next weekend, is the Rocket Mortgage Classic in Detroit, we are going. And that couple and another one is going. I kind of dont want to go with them. I'd rather just Doug and I go, with the choice to meet up later. Which Doug did suggest it.

Oh goodness. She emailed Doug today. She emailed a picture of a street sign in our city that is our last name. She asked "donyou want me to steal it for you?" Doug said "no thanks, I'm good." I told him that the way she is, responding to her email was just encouraging her. He said next time he will ignore it. He talking to another banker tomorrow, I hope he can take care of all our banking needs and we can cut her out.

Until she sends something inappropriate, I cant say anything because it will just make me look crazy, out of context. If she had sent that to him in December or early January, I wouldn't have even thought anything of it. But she's just looking for excuses to contact him. I have to be careful how I go about this since her and her husband are on the Boosters and Doug has had to ask for money for his sports program. So until I have evidence of her being inappropriate, I'm out of luck.

I'm so aggravated, the audacity of this woman. Smh.

Also, how can I update my Facebook profile without it making everyone aware....I dont want attention, I just wanted an updated pic of me. 20lbs lighter lol

I get one drink in me and I'm like "yeah my selfie game is strong even if my face is a little broke out." And I never use a filter, idc. (Lol, I always break out a week before that time of the month. I swear my body still thinks it's a teenager in that aspect.) I think that's probably the thing I miss the most about birth control, clear face. But then again, I'm so glad I don't have to remember to take the pill.

I've got to start golfing. Doug golfs a lot and I feel like that's something we could do together, especially as we get older. It's just the matter of me actually going to the driving range and practicing. But I hate going to the country club to practice. It's a man's world out there...obviously most of the golfers out there are men. I tried to get one of the ladies that's married to a guy Doug is friends with, to go to the driving range there, nope. Then the person I could have asked to go with me....is that woman. We had made plans in the winter to play tennis. Well, that ain't gonna happen now. I guess if I start practicing, next year I could join the ladies league they have out there. I know some of the women out there who golf but they aren't people I want to be friends with. Judgy people.

Treat yo self

Yesterday, I treated myself. I bought clothes, sunglasses and some facial oil lol. But the each article of clothing was 40% off 😁 and the sunglasses were basically 60% off since I bought them through Poshmark, brand new. Then some facial oil that I hate spending $20, I always wait for their sales, got it for $10. So it didn't make me feel bad since everything wasn't orginal prices lol.

I'm feeling a lot better about everything. I think mostly because I'm finally back in a rational headspace. Typing everything out made me feel better. And the other day, Doug had to talk to her about some of our accounts, he called her on speakerphone in front of me. And that actually made me feel good about everything. Nothing sinister going on, I have the worst imagination. Like I went through his phone thinking he was hiding apps, he had completely dropped speaking to her so quickly. Nothing on his phone, and I should have known that, he always has to ask me how to do stuff on it. So yay, for feeling better.

I honestly think that this is that much harder because I have to see her around. And Doug is in some of the same business networking groups that she is in. If this was some random person we never would have to see, it might make things a little easier.

Funny thing, is her husband is super nice to me...it really makes me thing she lied when she said that she only told her husband it was innocent, nothing happened between them via text. Doug was adamant that he didn't send anything inappropriate, and if her husband saw any of the texts, he would be angry with her. Although he didn't encourage her, he didn't discourage her either. I feel like this might be a more common thing nowadays than I think, and we didn't protect our marriage from this. I don't even think we had ever talked about that possibility. I didn't think he would do that, but hearing everything and seeing what went on, it makes me think it was out of boredom (slow time of year for business and he had a salesman) and she just happened to strike it up at the right time, opportunity.

I do know he's avoided this type of behavior before and told me. But I was never worried. I have really felt crazy these past few months but I feel like this has been a process. I wish I had gotten on here sooner and vented. It might have helped.

My oldest went to her friends softball tournament yesterday and that woman's daughter is on her friends team. My daughter said that the woman's youngest was giving her nasty looks the whole time. They don't even know each other. Kate does know her oldest. Who knows if anything was going on or if it was my daughter's imagination. But kids are intuitive, my daughter was very upset because she knew something was going on but we didn't tell her.

So I saw her at the festival on Saturday. She was a volunteer pourer for a winery. She saw me but would even look at me when I tried to make eye contact. Lol. She's a coward, yet she is still trying to coax Doug into personal conversation. Doug hasn't taken the bait, he just keeps it at bank requests. He has been showing me every email and text message. I obviously have checked with the phone log to see if they match up. I've gradually started to let that checking go as often as every week, I've gone to once a month.

I'm ready for her to make a follow of herself. Publicly would be even better. The Boosters golf outing is this Friday. I hope she gets plastered and makes a fool if herself in front of everyone that is in our school district. Would be nice if it were that easy lol...

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