Grand Spectacular Extravaganza O-Rama

Writer (Refinery29, Reductress, The Daily Beast, McSweeney’s, AV Club, Marie Claire, HelloGiggles, College Humor.) UCBTNY. Screenwriter. [email protected] 🛼

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Dying that the most chaotic new psycho on S3 of The Righteous Gemstones is also Jeremy, Abbi’s hot neighbor on Broad City

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So excited to announce that my feature idea is the winner for Script Pipeline’s Pitch Contest! Completely over the moon. I am thrilled to get to work with these brilliant folks whose guidance and knowledge will immeasurably improve my script and creative process. Surreal week!😭✒️

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I don’t know why this comment from an old man under an FB meme about self-checkouts is making me chuckle so much, but it is.

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This is literally what y’all are doing re: the “sudden” gas stove controversy

https://youtu.be/_lOU_HN5bY4

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I am notified, therefore I am

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Tonight I stepped foot in UCB Chelsea for the last time before the block gets demolished. I walked in here for the first time 12 years ago. I was 18 years old, by myself, and saw every single show on the lineup that night: Let’s Have A Ball, Death by Roo Roo, Reuben Williams, & The Chris Gethard Show 1-year anniversary midnight show. Didn’t have the slightest clue how to take the subway, so I walked from 48th St. This was also before you could buy tickets online—it was those little colored paper rip-off tickets. Many of those performers I saw that night would go on to become my teachers, peers, mentors, and close friends. The nurturing environment at UCB encouraged me to be myself—and bet on myself—from day one, and it paid off. This physical space has remained “UCB” in my heart even though UCB relinquished it a couple years ago. It was my sanctuary, and is largely the reason that I moved to New York. It is a holy building to me. I don’t think there is any space other than my office or apartment that I have spent more time in physically. From watching amazing artists I admire, to performing up there countless nights myself, to camping out there for DCM weekends, to using it as an easy meetup with friends, it served the community purpose for me that church serves for other people. It was and is so important for my entire identity and sense of what I exist for on this planet. I insist to this day that there is something in the walls, in the air, in those blocky columns, that makes art better. (Did you know it was the original Roundabout Theatre Company space in the 60s?! It was!) I can’t overstate just how transformative my thousands of hours in there have been, and how they allowed me to become the best version of myself. I love you so much, 307 W. 26th Street. Thank you for everything, you beautiful leaky basement. And right on the heels of this, UCB is finally opening back up in a new space in NYC😍😭. You bet I will be there, all over classes and shows day ONE. Let’s get wild! Come say hi 🤗 *Swipe to pic 7 for me chillin outside the theater with the UCB 4 **swipe again for our beloved Taco Bandito! ***aaaand relics from my first night in 2010✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/CmQiT5ZOTO0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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I have just learned that Greg from The White Lotus is Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite. Processing and holding space.

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I wrote an essay for The Daily Beast last month, thought I’d re-share it here! They let me mourn the beloved bygone heyday of DVD special features & reflect on why physical media is so important. Recently turning 30 means I get to be unabashedly cranky about these things :)

Enjoy!

DVD Special Features Are a Lost Art, Thanks to Streaming

Streaming offers convenience and a wide-ranging catalogue for one flat fee. But for cinephiles and stans, it still lacks what home video did

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“Phone Booth”, the 2002 Joel Schumacher thriller, said ACAB

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My new tea advent calendar! 🫖🎄

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Damn!

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Leaked Scenes From Noah Baumbach & Greta Gerwig’s “Barbie”

“Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach, known for critically adored, quirky dramas, are tackling Barbie, Warner Bros.’ big-screen take on the Mattel toy icon.” – July 15th, 2019 Ba…

***EXCLUSIVE*** 

can't believe I got my paws on these leaked scripts

[castsofrenthangingoutsmiling]

RENT Live on FOX, 2018

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Paddington 2: best train chase scene in the history of cinema?

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My #MetGala2018 outfit would have just been a pantsuit made of the "Spotlight" newspaper articles.

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I won't feel successful until I have a window like this where I can brood against the rain.

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Here Is What I Want

Here is what I want.

I want a romantic movie with a fat female protagonist where her size has nothing to do with anything. 

The man does not love her despite it or because of it. 

There is not some cheeky bet or gimmick to why she is receiving love. 

Her size is a 100% never discussed. 

She never once mentions her weight or steps on a scale or talks about a diet.

She is not given extra credit for somehow managing to be confident and live a normal life.

She is just the normal lead of a movie. 

It is a normal romance with normal beats and arcs. 

It is not empowering that she lives a normal life and that a cute guy likes her. 

It is just fucking normal. 

Does this movie exist? Am I going to have to write it????