awesome with a side of neurotic @lizzally - Tumblr Blog

Me- we spoke for an hour and the last 5 minutes were mental health asdfgh

psychology-daily

punxrat

💕PEOPLE WITH BPD DESERVE LOVE💕

💕PEOPLE WITH BPD DESERVE TO BE 💕HAPPY💞

💕PEOPLE WITH BPD CAN DATE💕

💕PEOPLE WITH BPD CAN BE IN A HEALTHY💕 RELATIONSHIP💕

💕HAVING A PERSONALITY DISORDER DOSENT MEAN YOU CANT BE LOVED💕

💕HAVING BPD DOSENT MEAN YOU CANT FIND LOVE💕

💕PLEASE REBLOG💕

Actually small anger post... optician sent me to the doctors because he couldn't work out why my eyes were wandering off. Doctor said don't worry her husbands eyes do that and I need a different prescription.

Even if that was the case, she barely listened and just sent me away. If she signed me up for the MRI then my eyes might not be as bad.

Then we went back to the optician and he said my prescription is fine, but he wanted to try something. Got the torch and shined it in my eyes. Immediate concern, booked us for another doctors appointment and literally sent them an email to take it seriously-

Go to the doctors and torch in the eye, concern from her too. Then she tried the my finger to her finger then my nose test and mum said I kept missing. Booked for an MRI and here we are.

Please listen to your fucking patients. My eyes might not be as bad if we got the MRI sooner. Along with that on a more serious note- it was a brain tumor, and given the type it was, it grew fast. Atypical meningioma. I told another patient who was also there for tumor removal and she was a nurse when she worked, and she just went "oh. They grow fast." If we listened to the doctor and dropped it, high chance my life would have been in danger. For surgery 1 and 2 I was told there was a 5% chance I would not survive for each one. If we waited, would it have been higher? Because a doctor didn't take me seriously.

#lizzie yells

Happier (?) Post: dolphins are still the spawn of satan

#evil bastards--#lizzie yells

Bpd: emotionally unstable, which brings up the other symptoms

Brain tumor removal: temporary brain damage, which cause more emotional instability

Me: :) fuck

#im okay im just tired #hoping once the swellings gone down completely and the hole is closed we'll be good-

disabled-kain

My BPD always tries to convince me that other people don't actually care about me unless they're really openly clingy and/or obsessive over me to an unhealthy degree.

And I know that rationally, that's not true. People can care and love me in a normal amount and lacking apparent outward intensity, and that still doesn't mean that they don't care or that they're going to abandon me.

Even knowing that, my BPD has me convinced on some sort of emotional level, because I tend to feel insecure when people don't show that extreme level, or that their love and care for me is fake, or that it is inevitable that they will leave because they "don't want me enough".

My emotions are trapped in an unhealthy mentality, and no amount of "but I know that's not true" is actually making anything change.

Im free now tho yo--

Having a tumor is kinda boring. It hurts to have light so I can't read, no TV in hospital room, and I'm not allowed to leave the ward

#lizzie yells

Alice! Madness Returns (CLIP STUDIO PAINT)

You've used me and abused me, but you will not destroy me!

#alice madness returns #cheshire cat #alice liddell #alice in wonderland

When you remember something supposedly bad you did and youre like *I APOLAGIZED THE SECOND IT HAPPENED AND AGAIN AFTER YOU SAID THAT WAS BAD BUT YOU STILL USED THAT AGAINST ME WHEN TALKING ABOUT ME HMM??

#im like Hmmm #i apologized we moved on #i was desperate and scared and did a Drastic thing i know #but i still HMM #lizzie yells

anti bs

God do I regret the time I was an anti (3 years ago I stopped yo), they’re awful people who attack people for no reason, and even if they don't attack like I didn't, they still judge people over something as dumb as what ships or characters someone likes, and use that to judge people as pedophiles and abusers when its Literally fictional characters.

So many antis are fucking hypocrites and how many have been outed as straight up sexual abusers at this point? At the end of the day, a person should be judged by their personality and their actions towards real people, not what characters they wanna see bone. The fact that antis are known for being downright CRUEL to non-antis says more about the antis than the person who has a problematic ship.

#anti bs #lizzie yells

Dreams

I’m jealous of my dream self. She can control the environment around her, make copies of things she sees for home, or just straight up telekinesis things as self defense or because she’s bored. I want to be able to do this and I KNOW how it feels when she does it so I can feel the same but nothing happens. Maybe somehow something will happen but for now, nothing :’)

#Lizzie yells

Splits

I want to learn to be more flexible because ya boy is so stiff but unless I’m doing the stretches in the front room (where there is always at least 1 person and a hard wood floor) there is no space :’) I just wanna learn how to do the splits is that too much to ask AHH

#lizzie yells

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awesome with a side of neurotic