Charm Necklace: the Irony of Racism/Classism within the Looking Fandom
[NOTE: the below discussion assumes that you have watched LOOKING. If not, it will not make any sense. Go watch it. I will probably blog more about it among other things.]
Though many focused on the sex and politics within it, LOOKING is in essence a simple story of a man searching for a soulmate. The central relationship is an homage to Jane Austen: the characters are as perfectly suited to each other as yin and yang, and despite some initial friction and bickering due to personal flaws and differences of background, they are in love, but there’s one obstacle that ruins everything – money.
Richie and Patrick are PRIDE & PREJUDICE, but with the financial situation of the main characters reversed. This time, Mr. Darcy, the sensitive, dignified character who only rarely expresses his deep and powerful emotions, is working-class. Elizabeth Bennett, the flighty flibbertigibbet who speaks too rashly and rushes too quickly to impulsive actions and judgments, comes from an upper-middle-class background. They also happen to be of different ethnicities, and though they are intrigued by each other’s cultural differences, there are inherent problems that arise from them.
While Patrick does not himself personally care about whether Richie has money or not, and is interested to date someone whom he can learn something new and different from, his lingering self-loathing and resentment about his parents’ lack of acceptance of his gayness cause him to cling to a certain aspect of his class privilege. He feels that if he brings a rich man home to Mother, one similar to the one his sister marries, he’ll be accepted as “just like everybody else”. The problem is that Patrick does not actually LIKE this type of man, which is the root of all his romantic failures. His one previous boyfriend is a WASP-y clone of him who he labeled “boring” (you can feel that they achieved bed death one month into their relationship). He goes on a date with a douche-y doctor who is dull as dishwater and laughs at none of his jokes. He pursues what looks right on paper, but which is entirely wrong for him.
As Patrick is the protagonist, we do not get as much of Richie’s perspective, but we do learn that he tends to date men of a certain “type” (not just white men, but particularly preppy and/or nerdy hipster white men). How this relates to Richie’s feelings of rejection from his family and community due to his sexuality is something that should have been explored further, and is one of the biggest losses of the LOOKING cancellation.
Both characters, at various times, wonder if they are a token for the other. Richie initially rejects Patrick when he feels he’s being sexually fetishized; Patrick is driven mad when he realizes that Richie is dating a man who is exactly like him in a number of superficial ways – white, educated, a little bitchy, etc. Richie has been through this kind of relationship before, has had his heart broken before, and his fear that Patrick is like all the others leaves him with little patience for Patrick’s mistakes. Patrick is clumsy and inexperienced at love, and in his desire to prove to Richie how much he wants him, ends up forcing everything too fast, panicking, and driving him away.
During the second season of LOOKING, after having been dumped by Richie, Patrick falls into an affair and then a relationship with his partnered boss, another man whom he idealizes as being “right on paper”: rich, good-looking, confident, powerful. He fails to see or even try to learn who this man actually is: someone with deep insecurities from growing up working-class himself, abandoned by his mother, raised by a neglectful and possibly abusive single father. Kevin is driven to not only pursue money, but to marry up into the higher class. He has his Ivy League doctor boyfriend, but it is not enough. He wants a wife, a kept man, one whose very livelihood he controls. He wants a fancy apartment with a high-tech security system, a fancy cocktail, and a pretty WASP prince to show off.
The seeds of doom for Kevin & Patrick’s relationship are planted before they even argue over the issue of fidelity. During the fight that dissolves their relationship, one of them is continually trying to get to a benefit for a homeless trans teen shelter, and the other would prefer to drink bourbon with his rich white neighbors and hang up his soccer posters. Patrick realizes, over the course of this night, that they have nothing real in common, and that he has been reacting against his desire to be with someone else. Kevin remains in denial, lying to himself about who he is and what he wants, a theme that continues into the movie.
This being a show dedicated to realism, the Kevin & Patrick relationship never could continue past this point. Yet, some fans continued to ship it. I understand this. Not everyone watches a show with acceptance of what the writing intends. If you think a particular actor is more attractive than another, or has more chemistry with the protagonist, it’s perfectly fine to root for it, as long as you accept that you are choosing to ignore what the characters are actually saying and doing.
It is, however, bizarre that some fans respond to this storyline by EMBRACING the very classism that the show denounces.
“HMPF. I suppose Patrick would rather have a $4 charm necklace than a guy who buys him a condo”, I have heard some ‘fans’ say. Precisely the fucking point. Yes, Patrick would rather have a meaningful gift that costs nothing and was given with love, than an expensive present that was bought with no regards for his actual tastes or interests. He kept that escapulario in his Valuables box for a reason. It was priceless to him.
Also, the racism of calling an escapulario a “charm necklace” sums up the irony of racism/classism within the LOOKING fandom in a nutshell: that someone can actually quote Agustin (“hideous charm necklaces”) directly without realizing that they are being an asshole.
If you do not think Patrick should prefer a man with no money to a rich guy, SOLELY FOR THAT REASON, that is your set of values and perspective, not the show’s. Patrick never needed or wanted a man to provide for him, or provoke his ambitions. You cannot say that the writers misled you or betrayed you on this account. Their message was clear at every step: if you are racist and/or classist you will make poor decisions and miss out on opportunities for true relationships and friendships between human beings.
And beyond that, it is fine to ship what you ship, even if you choose to ignore the actual storyline and theme: that is what shipping is for. It is NOT fine to be unable to distinguish between actor and character. It is unacceptable to attack an actor for his ethnicity or sexuality because you don’t like his character and hate the fact that he was portrayed as the romantic ideal.
Bear in mind that when you go around screaming at other fans that, in your opinion, a straight actor cannot perform gay love scenes, you are also implying that a gay actor cannot play a straight character. This is simply inverted homophobia, and it is unacceptable in people who claim to be fans of a gay show.
You’re not fooling anybody by using coded racism along the lines of “I can’t understand his accent” either (especially when you have no problem understanding a white actor with an Essex accent so thick I’ve had to ask Brits to interpret his interviews for me before).
As a result, I’m disappointed in some – not most, but a vicious and virulent few – LOOKING fans. This show had enough attacks from the outside: gay shows always do. They had to face homophobic trolls, as well as expectations of portraying 10-20% of the population that they (like every other gay show, book, movie, etc.) could not possibly live up to. The last thing they needed on top of that was people who claimed to love the show attacking the actors for who they are or the writers for their intentions. It’s not their fault if you don’t understand the story you’re watching or what it’s trying to say.
If there’s anything about LOOKING I won’t miss, it’s that.
dededos
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