I didn’t realize how much past trauma had a chokehold on me until today. I couldn’t understand why certain things triggered me, even if it wasn’t directly affecting me. I thought I forgave past situations and people who hurt me because I could empathize and understand the role I played in toxic situations, but if I really had forgiven then I wouldn’t feel any negative emotions because a healed person wouldn’t get triggered by toxic behavior, people, or situations. Learning how to forgive and heal isn’t easy, and I’m ashamed of how many people I’ve hurt along the way, but I hope they realize I’m not a bad person and that pain and trauma brings out the worst version of you.
I hope one day I can be the best, healed, and happiest version of myself for the people who have always loved and supported me.
