Our Little Secret

Just the sad ramblings of a touch starved 19 year old artist who's trying to become comfortable with my issues, im a girl, btw

[lostandfoundsecrets]

Idk what my boundaries are anymore in sexual situations, wanna tie me down? Fine by me. Wanna make me take it anytime you want? Can do. Collar or tattoo your name on me? I'll help pay for it! Call me fat? Im never talking to you again, go die.

[lostandfoundsecrets]

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I want someone, I want someone who looks at me and daydreams about getting married and growing up together. I want someone who already has thought of our kids' names or already knows where he wants us to get married. Someone who would jump at any chance to take another step forward in our forever together.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[lostandfoundsecrets]

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Need a husband who will get jealous if I dress too nice for anyone but him♡

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[lostandfoundsecrets]

♥︎♡♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♥︎

People underestimate how good it feels to belong to someone, for someone to look at you and say that you are theirs. I miss it so much honestly, miss the reminders they leave so you dont forget, or the little looks between the two of you that no one else gets. But my absolute favorite part is when you get to act like a brat, say you aren't theirs, just so they can prove you wrong again and again.

♥︎♡♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♡♡♥︎

[lostandfoundsecrets]

I hate this awful pull. I want to go to the darkest parts of the internet, just trying to find a lover like me. I feel like it's the only place I'd find someone as weird as me, who demands my time.

[lostandfoundsecrets]

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Sitting at the bus stop alone, I realize just how alone I am right now. No partner, no best friends. What will I even be remembered for? It's so hard to push myself every day when I have nothing to look forward to, not even a nice conversation. I know this is just a low point, but i just want it to be over so much.

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[lostandfoundsecrets]

[lostandfoundsecrets]

Im so excited to wear this. I'd love to see them try to hit on me now, and anyone who does is as bad as I am.

[lostandfoundsecrets]

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

God its so difficult to find a yandere partner when no one wants to even take the time to be obsessive, like yeah, it can be a lot, but I have a tracking app on my phone so I know where you are, I stay near you or keep an eye on you, wanna know your entire work schedule and plans for the next two weeks, have all of your personal beliefs, preferences, and personal information keep track of, want to be constantly wearing some sort of matching jewelery with you to show we are each other's, make you call me each and every night , because I love you, why cant anyone do the same.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[lostandfoundsecrets]

Going out is so overwhelming, I feel so alone surrounded by people, all these interesting people, and knowing I dont matter to any of them. I want so badly to just have one person who really cares about me and lets me care about them.

Just to have some long haired creep ask me out, I know it's unrealistic, but my daydreams feel more comfortable than anything im feeling in my life rn. <3

[lostandfoundsecrets]

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Being an artist and a perfectionist sucks, I want to express this endless creativity and emotion that I feel and see every day, but since its constantly changing, I can never stick with anything to perfect it so it can express what I want. You can't capture the endless possibilities and changes that torture people every day with a piece of paper.

I always dream about having someone to paint, to be my muse, to draw and recreate every little detail until I can imagine their face as perfectly as I can remember the color of the sky.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[lostandfoundsecrets]

Im tired of lame pick up lines and half assed attempts at caring, I want you to carve my name in your skin, I want you to cry every time I leave you alone, I wanna know that when I dedicate myself to you, you will do the same.

[lostandfoundsecrets]

I feel so empty, I feel like i have no purpose without someone who loves me, but even when im with someone, they don't actually love me, never as far as I want. People are so disappointing. But they look so pretty when they lie to my face.

[lostandfoundsecrets]

I forget what hugs feel like, real hugs, long tight hugs where you dont wanna let go, where as soon as its done, you can't wait to be back in that person's arms. The only time I ever felt fully relaxed was in his arms, and since I pushed him away, will anyone ever love me like that again? Hugs from my family feels like obligations, hugs from friends feel like pity. I feel so weak, so alone. Will anyone ever really hold me like that again? Where they just want me close, and dont just want my body. Can I even miss something I dont really remember anymore, just remember what they made me feel?

[lostandfoundsecrets]

[lostandfoundsecrets]

Its so gray outside, leaves me in my head too much. What am I doing with my life? Am I really even worthy of a partner? Or should I love myself more and not focus on others so much? But what if I end up alone?

[jasperthebunny777-deactivated20]

If you claim to stalk me and don’t do shit about it I will simply not believe you. How many times must I tell you to creep me out?? That I think it’s sweet?? Adorable even. If I am not trembling looking at the things you send me then no. You’re not stalking me.

[lostandfoundsecrets]

Yes.