Letters He'll Never Read

I hate that I have to refer to you as an ex

[lostlettersoyou]

sleep hates me

[chrissongzzz]

Well you get tired of it 😂

[lostlettersoyou]

OMGGGG

[chrissongzzz]

this y fitting rooms smell like ass and fish

[lostlettersoyou]

LOLL

[lostlettersoyou]

MILK AND HONEY. GREAT READ 💫✨ these pages really stuck out to me. they were relatable and gave the jumbled emotions in my chest and tangled thoughts in my mind, direction, meaning, value and clarity.

[lostlettersoyou]

June 9, 2016 1:31 AM

I've come so far since these posts. I don't need you in order to breathe anymore. I'm okay. I'm moving forward. I'm growing. Most importantly, I'm okay. Yesterday (June 7th) was our first time really talking; genuine conversation; not drunk bickering. You were looking out for me. You matured. You sounded happy. I felt okay. Even though I cried after, and couldn't control it, the uneasiness I didn't know I was feeling for months before, left my body. I want you to be happy. Be proud of yourself and continue to grow. No more bad blood, a mutual understanding between us. That's all I could ever ask for. And I'm lucky enough to share it. Life really does go on.

[borislaww]

Visit Original Link

[lostlettersoyou]

He last said he loved me when he was inside me

the distance is so hard

[lostlettersoyou]

January 19 2016 || 11:43 PM

Dear Nash,

This past weekend you came up to my dorm. It was amazing. We spent time together and the sex was euphoric. 

You also came all the way to the bus stop today to pick me up and drive me home. You really do so much for me and I’m forever grateful.

But now I feel empty. Our conversations are quiet. There isn’t really any substance there. Am I boring? Am I not intellectually stimulating?

I feel like there is nothing there between us. Sure, the love is there... but if anything else? We can barely hold a conversation anymore. In person, it’s different of course, but with 100.5 km between us and constant shifts for you and readings, assignments and school for me...I'm not so sure anymore.

Conflicted. 

I remember last Valentines day we sat in your basement the whole day and we talked about anything and everything. I miss moments like those. Change is scary, but it’s inevitable. 

I wonder if you feel the same. 

Ella

[lostlettersoyou]

January 4, 2016 || 11:36 AM

Dear Nash,

I still barely slept. Last night around 1 AM you blew up my phone saying you need me and you’re willing to fix this... I’m so confused with how to feel.

I remember a few years ago when I was hurt by my parents’ rocky relationship, I would vent to you all the time. You told me you’d love me through the pain, and we could get through anything together. So why couldn’t you love me through the pain last week? Why did you run away? 

I’m not sure what God’s plan is for us together, but I hope He speaks to me soon.

But, early this morning you told me, after years of waiting to hear this, you wouldn’t let me hold you back from any scholarships you receive. You deserve to put yourself first, and no matter what, if we are meant to be, distance won’t be an issue. 

I know we have to take things really slow, but I’m grateful you came back. None of your boys will really understand what we have, it isn’t you being whipped or a sucker. It’s neither. Maybe we are too used to eachother, or maybe our path together isn’t over, our point hasn’t broken. 

I could be messaging you this, but I don’t want to cause a fight.

Writing here is serene. 

- Me

[quynhcieted]

Visit Original Link

Frank Ocean - Miss You So 

[lostlettersoyou]

January 3, 2016 || 1:39 AM

the thought of being without you longer than we were together scares me...

[lostlettersoyou]

January 3, 2016 || 1:11 AM

Dear you,

WHY AM I SO FUCKING ENVIOUS AND INSECURE!? He put me on a pedestal! I need to fucking get over myself! He loved ME not ANYONE ELSE !

It’s too late now. You’re already gone. No more of your cute little laughs. No more of those random texts, hearing about your day, your calls after your Wednesday shifts, hearing about your long Sunday’s at church. No more watching Netflix or NBA games with you. No more cuddling. No more breaking down and having you there to hold me and always say the perfect thing. No more random appreciation. No more you. My soul mate. You were perfect for me. But I pushed you away. I’m so sorry.

This is all my fault. He does not want me anymore and will never come back, because of me.

I’m not the same person. And I told you this before. You were my backbone. You supported me and helped shape me into who I am today. Without you I’m not that girl. I’m someone else. Idk anything about this new me yet. I know God is with me, and I’m so grateful. But I wish you were here with me too. Fuck… we were supposed to get married. Have 3 kids. I was supposed to give you your daughter, we already had a name planned out.

It hurts too bad to finish this

- me

[lostlettersoyou]

December 30th 2015 || 5:21 AM

Dear Nash,

3 years, five months and 15 days later, I ruined you. I turned you into the monster I hated. You became the type of monster I feared. You would predict and mock my feelings, but only because I made you that way. I expect you to apologize for hurting me, but I need to apologize for making you into the person that would hurt me.

I hope one day you find it in your heart to forgive me. I know you're so dead ass right now. You're relieved you get your space from me, while I'm here helpless and restless and it seems as if crying myself dry is impossible. But God is with me.

I hope in the future, when you find longterm happiness, even when if it's next week or when 30, you'll remember the way I loved you. 

Thank you for always believing me and pushing me forward towards my dreams. Any little thing that upset me or made me happy, you would listen and be there to lift me higher. I'm sorry I wasn't that person to you. I'm sorry I pushed you away to other girls that could fill the void I left.

In my eyes you're the center of my universe...everything I did was surrounded by you.

- Ella

[lostlettersoyou]

December 30, 2015 || 5:05 AM

Dead Nash,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my efforts were not enough. I'm sorry I broke all my promises. I'm sorry I couldn't make love to you the way I should have. I'm sorry I made things all about myself. I'm sorry I got nervous and anxious over everything. I'm sorry that no matter what you did, I would still get insecure. I'm sorry my love wasn't enough for you.

I'm sorry for letting you make me into this dependent, fragile person. I'm sorry for believing you every time you said "f&a" because I meant it every time. I'm sorry my "I love you" goodnight texts will go unforgotten. I'm sorry that you are my soul mate, but I'm not yours.

- Ellie

[lostlettersoyou]

December 30, 2015 || 5:05 AM

He broke up with me. — "needs his space"

I'm the worst type of person. I broke promises, made him miserable with all the fights and my insecurity wore him down. I can't see myself with anyone but him, I know for a fact he is my soulmate. I hope he finds his. I hope he can find happiness. Even if it's not with me.