bulla ki jana mai kaun

webweaving. playlists. queer bollywood. ghibli

[love-s-sorrow]

Sahiba-Romy, Pawni Pandey// Ye Tune Kya Kiya- Pritam//Jogi- Swastik The Band

[love-s-sorrow]

Teri Deewani, Kailash Kher// Saiyyan, Kailash Kher

[love-s-sorrow]

Devotion in Hindi songs

Jogi, Swastik// Tum Ho Toh, Farhan Akhtar// O Rangrez, Javed Bashir// Nit Khair Manga Soneya Mai Teri, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan// Sahiba, Romy& Pawni Pandey// Teri Deewani, Kailash Kher

[love-s-sorrow]

Hindi Playlist: you're in 7th grade. you don't know heartbreak yet because you don't know love yet. you listen to songs with crushing lyrics without batting and eye. they're good songs even if you don't quite get the feeling behind the lyrics yet. someone of these songs were used in your school's annual function, others your friends won't stop singing in class.

you're 21 now. you know heartbreak but you still don't have love. you listen to these songs and remember 7th grade. something so far away, almost from another world. you get the lyrics now. you can hear your heart struggle under the weight of the emotions brought on : nostalgia, longing, a sudden realization that life will never be that uncomplicated ever again.

and god, you wish you could go back to 7th grade when your friends cracked jokes in the middle of the class and you had to hold your laughter or you'd get sent out of the class.

[love-s-sorrow]

[ from a stack of unsent letters buried in abhimanyu singh's apartment]

Rohan,

I have never had more of a reason to live. I'm on top of the world, I have everything I could ever want from life, I have turned my dream into a reality. I am a success story that will be told for generations. A true rags to riches tale. I have never had more of a reason to die. You were right about me. I have no one to call my own. I have no family. The only friends I ever made in my life hate me. You hate me. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you don't even remember me anymore. I'm more afraid of that. Is too much to ask for you to resent me your whole life? If I couldn't be yours I hope to live as your worst heartbreak. Don't cast me out of your heart just yet, I don't have another home. I'm so alone.

Somedays I wake up and still feel you hands around my chest and your lips ghosting over mine. I am haunted by the memories of loving you. Or maybe I still love you. Maybe I'm just holding onto you because you were the only person I let into my life. The only person I wanted to be seen by. I couldn't care less about who hates me or loves me. My world always has and always will begin and end at you. Fuck if I know what to with that realisation. But you know when I can't fall asleep and the medication doesn't work, I let myself pretend that I still have you. That we're together and happy just as we'd imagined. You tell me about polyrhythms and I cook you soup. I listen to you because I love your voice. Because there's no place I'd rather be in the world. Because I have you in my arms and I know that that's all I'll ever need to be truly happy. I pretend that I wasn't stupid enough to break your heart and abandon you. I pretend that I wasn't a coward who couldn't apologise to you and love you the way you deserved to be loved. I pretend that when I realised that I wasn't good enough for you instead of running away I changed and became a man worthy of you.

Rohan. I still have a bottle of pills in my hand. But I also have your name on my lips. Which do you think will kill me first?

Yours, still

Abhi.

[love-s-sorrow]

@desi-lgbt-fest This is a direct result of how many anons you got about soty

[love-s-sorrow]

[ from a stack of unsent letters buried in abhimanyu singh's apartment]

Rohan,

I have never had more of a reason to live. I'm on top of the world, I have everything I could ever want from life, I have turned my dream into a reality. I am a success story that will be told for generations. A true rags to riches tale. I have never had more of a reason to die. You were right about me. I have no one to call my own. I have no family. The only friends I ever made in my life hate me. You hate me. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you don't even remember me anymore. I'm more afraid of that. Is too much to ask for you to resent me your whole life? If I couldn't be yours I hope to live as your worst heartbreak. Don't cast me out of your heart just yet, I don't have another home. I'm so alone.

Somedays I wake up and still feel you hands around my chest and your lips ghosting over mine. I am haunted by the memories of loving you. Or maybe I still love you. Maybe I'm just holding onto you because you were the only person I let into my life. The only person I wanted to be seen by. I couldn't care less about who hates me or loves me. My world always has and always will begin and end at you. Fuck if I know what to with that realisation. But you know when I can't fall asleep and the medication doesn't work, I let myself pretend that I still have you. That we're together and happy just as we'd imagined. You tell me about polyrhythms and I cook you soup. I listen to you because I love your voice. Because there's no place I'd rather be in the world. Because I have you in my arms and I know that that's all I'll ever need to be truly happy. I pretend that I wasn't stupid enough to break your heart and abandon you. I pretend that I wasn't a coward who couldn't apologise to you and love you the way you deserved to be loved. I pretend that when I realised that I wasn't good enough for you instead of running away I changed and became a man worthy of you.

Rohan. I still have a bottle of pills in my hand. But I also have your name on my lips. Which do you think will kill me first?

Yours, still

Abhi.

[love-s-sorrow]

Bad Buddy(2021—) || We Were Kings, Neon Dreams

[cinemamonamour]

Ghibli Food - Veg Edition

[love-s-sorrow]

survive is hard but it’s worth it.

[love-s-sorrow]

comfort playlist: I am alone. I am lonely. All I have are these words given to me by people who I don't know and how don't know me. But we do know loneliness. They had the courage to share their pain with the world so it would comfort someone going through the same thing. Someone like me. I want to honor that courage and believe that it will be okay. I'll be okay.

(languages: Korean, Japanese and English)

[love-s-sorrow]

—and if you can't sleep love, come talk to me. let me remind you that you're not alone. we'll get through this night together and perhaps tomorrow will be kinder to us.

[love-s-sorrow]

playlist: you're childhood wasn't bad. you've been sure of it almost all your life but lately you've been thinking too much and feeling even more. people look at you weird when you mention some parts of your life and it almost feels like pity but then they turn around and joke as if you hadn't said anything.

you look at your friends talk about their childhoods freely and it feels so wrong; you couldn't bare to talk about your younger years that way.

no matter how much you try to find out if something went wrong you cannot come to a decisive conclusion.

you didn't have it that bad, you're sure of it but maybe it wasn't all good either.

[love-s-sorrow]

Playlist: I've been grieving old friends and struggling to make new ones. Sometimes I feel like there is still a place for me, somewhere i can belong and I think I almost had it.

Other times I remember that there is no place that will take in all of me, some parts will always have to be left at the door.

Did I have a home? Have I lost it somewhere? Am I heading in it's direction right now? Or am I lost? Will I ever feel happy again?

[tatianakawkaw]

winter is here

[love-s-sorrow]

Hindi Playlist: you're in 7th grade. you don't know heartbreak yet because you don't know love yet. you listen to songs with crushing lyrics without batting and eye. they're good songs even if you don't quite get the feeling behind the lyrics yet. someone of these songs were used in your school's annual function, others your friends won't stop singing in class.

you're 21 now. you know heartbreak but you still don't have love. you listen to these songs and remember 7th grade. something so far away, almost from another world. you get the lyrics now. you can hear your heart struggle under the weight of the emotions brought on : nostalgia, longing, a sudden realization that life will never be that uncomplicated ever again.

and god, you wish you could go back to 7th grade when your friends cracked jokes in the middle of the class and you had to hold your laughter or you'd get sent out of the class.

[makiema]

STUDIO GHIBLI + RAIN 

MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO (1988) ONLY YESTERDAY (1991) KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE(1989) THE SECRET WORLD OF ARRIETTY (2010) SPIRITED AWAY (2001) PONYO (2008) HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE (2004)

[inspired by @titlecard and @nyssalance]

[love-s-sorrow]

playlist: it's raining, the sun's still shining brightly. down the street you see them, they used to be your friend but really you two didn't know exactly what you were. they knew all your secrets without having to pull them out of you and you would quietly sit with them when they needed to cry.

They left your hometown when you were 17 which was okay, understandable but then grew distant and you lost touch. you felt betrayed but you couldn't bring yourself to resent them.

Now they're standing in the rain, the sun's shining brightly. their eyes light up when they spot you, there's a little hesitance in them.

then you smile at them and they break into a sprint towards you and you hold out your arms to catch them.

no, you could never resent them.