kitty kins fucking obliterated in the comments section of a knitting video
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@love-the-legend
kitty kins fucking obliterated in the comments section of a knitting video
>at feminism conference
>first male speaker in event's 50 year history
>great and terrible honor
>nervous
>get on stage
>40,000 people staring at me in silence
>all girls
>nervous
>introduce myself
>silence
>shakily bring up first slide of PowerPoint
>"things that I think women like, based on listening to women for 30 years"
>silence
>could hear a pin drop
>somewhere in the crowd a gun is cocked
>deep breath
>next slide
>"Whip-Its"
>deafening silence
>oh god
>I'm done for
>it's so over
>suddenly
>a slow clap
>slow clap builds to a few dozen claps
>few dozen builds to hundreds
>thunderous applause from all 40,000 women
>"finally!" they say
>oh shit
>tenative confidence
>next slide
>"Video games"
>applause continues
>women are stomping their feet
>hooting
>hollering
>next slide
>"treats sometimes"
>cheering
>whistles
>crowd of women chanting
>next slide
>"end of presentation. thank you for listening"
>women applaud me off stage
>pass the upcoming presenter back stage
>is a woman who is going to do magic tricks with a lion
>"thanks for getting them warmed up rookie"
>oh fuck do women like magic tricks
>magician goes on stage
>the women fucking love the magic tricks with a lion
>every day I learn more about women
That weirdo billionaire obsessed with stopping his aging/taking his son's blood to stay young has, as far as I can tell, taken a hero dose of shrooms that led him to fall in love with one of his employees(?) and is now attempting to use his wealth to find a cure for her endometriosis? Which like, sure
This is so funny
Things that work in fiction but not real life
torture getting reliable information out of people
knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour
jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact
calling the police to deescalate a situation
rafting your way off a desert island
correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes
effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else
ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences
heterosexual cowboy
Six times Xaden Riorson is the funniest character in Fourth Wing
♡ because my boy contains multitudes ♡
1. when he was trolling Vi right from the beginning
2. when he was fucking done with Tynan's shit
"nO, bUt I cAn NaRrAtE" lives rent free in my head
3. when he manages to lighten the mood right before making out with Violet for the first time
4. when he cannot contain his giddiness that he can now bother Violet without having to utter a single word
5. when he decides honesty in the best policy with Mira
6. when he is offended by breakfast
✰ Xaden Riorson, born to be a little shit, forced to be a revolution leader ✰
i'm trying to fight the second one but THE VOICES-
violet: he’s probably thinking about other girls
xaden: I need to figure out a way to attach the tiny dragon to the big dragon
THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING!!! ALWAYS SOMETHINGGG
I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna b
The poor dude sounds just a little exasperated, and with good reason
having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well I’m off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and you’re like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible
And you are older than them
A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.
#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus
I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious
A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)
Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.
I couldn't get these two and their dynamic out of my head, @gallusrostromegalus I doodled them (guessed on their collars)
OH MY GOD MY CATS HAVE FANART
bringing this over from twitter bc this person literally gets it. watching su for the first time i was literally shocked by how wonderfully toxic the yuri was there. thank you women 🙏
Típico de belgas malinois
Good video showcasing exactly why these dogs are not suited to 99 percent of households.
They've gotten very popular recently and I suspect theyre also being dumped in shelters at a high rate
I can confirm they are.
Which is one of the reasons I reblogged this, I vaguely hope it might make someone somewhere reconsider their choices
Stay engaged.
@daysleftofsecondterm