In Love and War

I address the hard questions about love, friendships and family through my own personal experiences.

[brittnys55]

Standards. Expectations. Stereotypes. These are all battles we have to face as human beings, but most especially as women. Why is it because I do well in school, I take care of my family and I’m kind to everyone I meet, I have to be perfect. I’m not allowed to fail in school. I’m not allowed to...

[loveandwarinthecity]

When the Last Grain Falls

Time. It's the one thing that no one seems to have enough of. But for most, it's never really the fact that we don't have enough, it's really the fact that we just don't use it wisely enough. As much as we wish we could stop it and we create these illusions of being stuck in a moment, the clock continues to tick. As technology evolves we become desensitized to the value of time. Clocks and watches are now used for style, but imagine if we brought back hourglasses. Imagine if instead of hearing the ticking of a clock, you heard the sound of sand grains falling and as they fell you could visibly see the amount of time shrinking. Would it intimidate you enough to use your time more wisely? It seems like time is much more precious when you're with the people you care for the most. Interestingly enough, time also runs much faster with those people. So do you just keep turning over the hourglass for those people much more than you so for other things? But what if the feelings weren't mutual? We all have those people in our lives. The ones we feel we care greatly for, but over time we feel like those people slowly just stop caring. How much time do you give those people? Maybe their just going through a rough time. Maybe I'm just expecting too much. Maybe it's just this one time. Some people, no matter how many chances you give them or no matter how many excuses you make up for them, things will just never change. Time stops for no one right? The sand is just going to keep falling and at some point it's going to run out. When is turning over the glass just not enough for you?

[loveandwarinthecity]

The Plastics

In the celebration of Mean Girls 10 year anniversary I’m writing about cliques and our place in them. A majority of us have all seen Mean Girls so it’s no surprise that so many people love it because it’s very funny, but also very relatable. For the most part everyone can recognize or recollect who The Plastics were in their schools, those snobby, rich beauties with no souls. One thing many fail to recognize or even admit though, is the fact maybe the reason why so many people can relate to that movie is because there’s a little bit of each character in all of us and our own friend groups. As we go through the ups and downs of life we are confronted with all different types of battles and people and sometimes we are better prepared for certain situations more than others. We’ve all felt like the innocent outcast, the careless bitch and the queen bee, so why are we so quick to judge sometimes? It’s crazy how easy it is to say never until in you’re in that situation and then you just end up saying, fuck it! Of course everyone hopes to stay as true to their word as possible, but more often than not we end up going back on the things we say. “I’ll never be that party girl!” “I’ll never be that superficial guy!” All of that right up until you are those people, and then what? It’s easy to judge and make excuses for oneself, but it’s more valuable to try to have a more objective view on life and the people trying to live it. It’s like how I always say, ” You’ll never know how to forgive until you need forgiveness.” We are all just trying to make the best out of our own lives and sometimes we make mistakes or poor choices, but we have to be able to take those lessons to make better decisions in the future. So in the spirit of Mean Girls, let Ceasar and Brutus understand each other better and be friends!

[loveandwarinthecity]

Duck Senses

One of the most debatable questions of all time is, can guys and girls be "just friends"? It is a question I found myself pondering today as I was driving and in my own personal experiences it seems situational. For the majority of my experiences with the male sex, it seems that there's no chance in hell. Someone always seems to have feelings for the other person or both end up having feelings for each other. I mean, isn't that how most relationships start off anyways? That's how a majority of my relationships started out as and with those that don't always work out seem to even result in long term friendships. So is there a clear answer? That's what I'm trying to figure out. Despite most of my friendships turning into relationships there is one friendship I have that I know will never become any more than a strong friendship. So what makes it so different? I mean we both are attractive people, but we aren't attracted to each other.  It could also be the fact that we know our boundaries and as friends we know what is appropriate to say or the appropriate way to act with each other. So are we just the perfect model friendship between genders? Can other people still be considered just friends and push the boundaries into more than friends? The confusing part for me is what I like to call my Duck Senses. Odd, I know, but it is a very interesting theory and here's why. The Duck Senses work like this, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it must be a duck. A fairly simple and common concept that I like to use to refer to people's actions and interactions with the opposite sex. It is one thing to just claim to be friends, but if a couple acts flirty with each other and they spend an awful lot of time together it seems pretty clear to most people that they are into each other. Now I know some might disagree with me, but the concept seems pretty undeniable. Maybe one person in the relationship is blind to see how the other person feels, but from an outside perspective it seems obvious. I guess only time could tell... 

[loveandwarinthecity]

Girls Like You...

To be or not to be? It seems to always be the question. Single. It's the very word that our society seems to look down on sometimes. In this day and age of love, it seems very taboo to want to be alone. The few that choose that life always seem to be ridiculed a little. Many view it as a cynical joke. Is it really that bad though? I mean it sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. No attachments, responsibility or accountability to anyone but yourself. Not only is it a taboo for any person to be single, but then there is the issue of the double standard between what single men can do compared to single women. A single man can sleep with as many women as he pleases and he's known as the bad boy everyone wants. A women who chooses to be a heartbreaker of men is known as a slut. As Chris Brown has put it, "these hoes ain't loyal." What's so wrong though for a woman to be only loyal to herself for a change? Shouldn't she be able to satisfy herself without having to dedicate herself to satisfying the needs of a man. A little food for thought for all the men out there. On another note though, it's one thing to chose to live a single, care-free life, but what happens when there is an opportunity to not be single. Do you take it? Most women would die to have a tall, handsome man who is considerate, caring, funny, hardworking and handy. If a man like that came into any woman's life they would be getting down on one knee for him. So am I crazy for being okay to walk away without him? Is it odd that what most women find as rare qualities I see as being too clingy? I was talking to my sister about it and to my surprise instead of being understanding or supportive, she was angry! She called me unappreciative of a cute and kind man. Then she shrugged and as she walked off she huffed, "Ugh, it's girls like you I wanna slap." Is it women like me that have gotten so tired of searching for Mr. Dreamy that when he's begging to be with us we oddly find the courage to say, "Not right now, but maybe later?" "Girls like you," the words that will constantly ring in my head as I rethink everything I knew about love. 

[loveandwarinthecity]

Moving Forward

Relationships, they always seem to find some sort of end. It's kind of inevitable, which seems pretty depressing. Luckily everything has a lesson and a memory. Sometimes it's hard though...letting go. It's pretty crazy how quickly we can become so comfortable. And that's that the scary part. Just like in every movie we have seen, there is always a plot twist, but yet we still jump out of our skin when it happens. Like we had no idea it was coming. That's kind of how life works, doesn't it? Just when we start to get comfortable, our world seems to turn upside down. Sometimes I feel like my life is some romantic comedy thriller for other's entertainment and I'm just waiting for the credits to start rolling or the director to call cut. My heart was broken not too long ago and I was in such a rush to just move forward and speed up the process of having to feel any pain, but now life is giving me that opportunity to not feel it and I've all of a sudden I've become hesitant. I know movies are supposed to be life stories crammed into a couple of hours, but I never expected life to be that quick. Am I even ready? Is it worth a try? It feels like all the smoke and fire is still going, but the director is gone and I have no clue what I'm supposed to do. To say I'm scared is an understatement, but the director hasn't called cut yet and the credits haven't rolled so I know things aren't just over and I got to press on. Leaps of faith are always much easier said then done.... So do I take it and hope that at the bottom there's a stunt crew waiting for me with one of those nets to catch me? I don't know...I guess we'll have to wait and find out. 

[loveandwarinthecity]

Evolution of Romantic Films

From the intimacy of white and black films to the hilarious relativism of awkward intimate moments in motion pictures today, it seems that Hollywood has covered the evolution of Romance quite well. Being a very romanticized person myself I am both proud and yet embarrassed to admit that I have seen it all. It seems like in this day and age love is used very loosely and everyone is living for themselves in the moment. Of course, there is never anything wrong with that and even I have pursued my life in many occasions with that same mentality, but what I enjoy the most is finding an escape in some of the most brilliantly romantic films. It's funny because many view romantic films in a very overjoyed fantasy one size fits all kind of way, but some of my favorite films tend to not end so expected at all. What some of the best films have captured are real life experiences that not only allow people to relate to them, but in a small way, give them hope for the future. For example, in Casablanca Rick and Isla don't end up together. In fact, Rick expresses his love for Isla by giving up his ticket out of Africa so that Isla can live a safe life with her husband. In the movie Some Kind of Wonderful, Keith realizes that even though Amanda Jones is the popular beauty, she just isn't the girl for him despite all his efforts to make it work. In Blue Valentine, Cindy and Dean's marriage falls apart not because the lack of love or commitment, but because the difficulty and struggle of life changes them to become different people with different priorities. The boy doesn't always get the girl and whether you are from the city, the country or even a tropical island love isn't always easy. The reality of it is that it is one of the most difficult and stressful things people put themselves through, but many can agree that it's worth it. So if you haven't seen any realistic romantic movies I will leave a great recommending list right here at the bottom. Enjoy! 

Movie List

Casablanca (1942) 

Annie Hall (1977) 

Some Kind of Wonderful (1987) 

Say Anything (1989) 

When Harry Met Sally (1989)

Message in a Bottle (1999)

Serendipity (2001) 

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) 

P.S. I Love You (2007) 

500 Days of Summer (2009) 

Blue Valentine (2010) 

The Descendants (2011) 

Midnight in Paris (2011) 

To Rome With Love (2012) 

The Vow (2012) 

Blue Jasmine (2013) 

The Spectacular Now (2013) 

About Time (2013) 

[loveandwarinthecity]

Love Don't Cost A Thing....I Think Not

Since Valentine's Day is around the corner. I thought I would do one of my first major entries on one of the most expensive days of the year. It's a holiday full of anxiousness and excitement, at least for most, that is. I've had my fair share of romantic evenings with pretty lavish gifts, but has anyone really looked into the dents it puts in most people's checkbooks? Of course not, right? Love is priceless!! But the dummies we tend to be seem to be very competitive about the kind of price we do put on love one day out the entire year! And when you live in a city with the rich and famous you better amp up your game big time! I've recently read an article in the LA Times about most people spend an average of a whopping $170 on this day of LOVE. And it seems that every year that cost is growing! So before you start looking for LOVE in this city, make sure you got the deep pockets of cash to keep it! 

[loveandwarinthecity]

♥️⛔️ on We Heart It. TRYING to stay optimistic this Valentine's Day!

[loveandwarinthecity]

My First Blog

Looking for a jump start to my communications/journalism career so I am hoping to share this amazing experience with my followers and give you some great commentary on love, romance and friendship in a city like LA. So I hope you enjoy!