For a split second I forgot...
I allowed myself to have fun. To feel like the old Katie I knew. Happy, spontaneous, life of the party. No phones to check in. No social media to remind me. Just me and my friends on a boat for the weekend. It was lovely. But today I'm back. Today I remember that I can't call my Mom and tell her all about it. Today I remember my responsibilities. My son. My husband. My work. My family that still is around including my Nana. And then I remember that my grandfather, Nanu, is gone. That even though I went through the motions, ignoring reality means one day I have to face the truth. And that day is here. My Mom will never be on this earth again. My Nanu won't either. And I'm left to pick up the pieces. To build my self back up even though I don't know what that self should look like. This has been the hardest year of my life. It felt good to forget that, even if it was brief.
