[ 10:26 a.m. ] - OIKAWA TOORU
+ for @lovemeian 's collab. this is may be cringey as hell so read at your own risk. don't come @ me, k?
he didnβt even come to see you off. thatβs what youβre thinking, making your way to the airport gates, unaware of the brunet who got there just in timeβ and is standing among the cars behind you, his eyes locked on you, feet stuck to the ground.
and as you walk away, sad smile on your lips, dragging your brown suitcase behind your trailing scarf, there's only one thought running through his head.
"crap-," it hits him as you look away, entering the airport's gates with your back turned,"-i fucked up," he mutters, slapping a hand to his mouth, eyes wide as he realises it again.
"i fucked up!," heβs louder this time, and his body moves on his own, legs carrying him to the doors against his will, flying past the guards, barely making it through the closing doors. "i really, royally, fucked up," he repeats, jumping to grab your arm, turning you around- shock written all over your face.
your name falls off his lips in a way it never has before, gentle but firm- his hands on his knees as he pants. is it an apology? no, it's a request, a plea to be heard. because as much as he's messed up before, he can't let you go- he can't free you from himself, and it's so stupidly selfish of him, but oikawa tooruβs realised he can't live without you, that he doesn't want to- and he needs to let you know before you decide to let go of him.
"what are you doing here?," you ask, hand hanging limp, the feeling of his touch lingering. you suppress the feeling growing in your chest- you've let it grow before, and it's only hurt you. you refrain from touching his head, asking if he's okay- it's not your place to, not anymore, is what you tell yourself. has he come to stop you? no, that would be foolish to believe. if you're honest, you don't want to leave, but no one's ever asked you to stay, have they?
"don't," oikawa chokes out, eyes looking up at you hopefully, "please don't leave here, fuck, don't leave me ,y/n," he stands up straight, repeating the words again as if he's not sure he's said them before, "don't go."
shit. your heart skips a beat, happiness (or something similar) surging through you. you want to grab his face, perhaps hold his hands, tell him that's all you wanted, all you needed- that you'd never dream of leaving if he asked you not toβbut you merely take a step back, heart cracking at how his face drops, because you can't do this again.
you can't let oikawa tooru break your heart for the second time.
"just....just hear me out," he begs, his voice on the verge of breaking, taking cautious steps towards you, "if you want me to go after you hear me out, i promise i will," he raises his hands, "no questions asked."
he knows he doesn't deserve a second of your time, and you're sure that if you had even a bit of sanity left in you- you'd turn and walk away, just like he did to you, you'd go, no matter what he says, and never look back. unluckily for you, or luckily for him- you don't.
"okay," you let go of your suitcase, taking one step in his direction, "you have one minute."
one minute, huh? how could he ever tell you how much he misses you, how much he regrets doing the things he did, how much he hates himself for letting you slip through his fingers- in a minute? yet he starts speaking, because he's certain he has to use every second you spare.
"i'm sorry," he begins, gulping at your expression which screams really? are you? but continues anyway, "and i know this can't make up for it, not that easy, but please, give me a chance again. let me try to make you mine again. let me love you again, y/n, the way you taught me how to love myself."
you know he's pouring himself out to you, and you shouldn't let it get to you. you've done the same before, haven't you? and where did it get you?
but you don't have it in you to be so cold-hearted. not when the person you love, and have always loved, is stripping himself bare in front of you.
you inhale sharply, and your hands move on their own too. you've comforted him before. you know just how to, stroking his hair softly as you let him wrap his arms around you, not commenting on his soft sobs.
"stop crying," you tell him, perhaps not as gently as you mostly would've, but you're already doing more than you should. pulling him off you, you clear your throat, adjusting your scarf. "i don't know if i can survive another heartbreak, tooru."
"i won't let it break," he promises, "never again."
and you don't know if you should trust him, if you should dare to take the leap- to risk it again, but as you glance at your boarding gate and then his face- you know you're incapable of getting on that plane.
βone more,β you tell oikawa, walking out the gates as he follows, βone more chance.β
and with his heart bursting, grateful that youβve stayed, a smile forms on his face. he runs up behind you, dragging your suitcase, and only one thought runs through oikawa tooruβs mind.
he wonβt fuck up this time.
+ wrote it when i was drunk, sleepy & emotional. thought itβs a masterpiece. i was crying. then later came back and went βπβ deadass. @shoyotime im sorry I was thinking of you while writing this π enjoy ig <3
