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Summary: A man's commitment to his word will always be at the mercy of his carnal desires. Alternatively, stepdad Joel titty touching.
Warnings: Smut, stepcest, age gap (20s/40s), nipple play, nipplegasm, lap sitting, stepdad!Joel, infidelity, slightly dark!Joel
A/N: Shoutout to @toxicanonymity for her OG Stepdad series which is obviously an inspo, thanks to @gracieispunk and @papipascalispunk for egging me on and listening to me eat Denny’s on voice chat, AND thanks to @iamasaddie for the moodboard pic that inspired this. This might be the start of something terrible - LFG!!!
Word count: 1.3k Rating: 18+
Your mom is out for her morning run, leaving you and Joel, her husband of several years, in the living room, with his hands beneath your shirt. You can’t resist him. His face and his hair and his body and his scent are etched into your eyelids and all sensory areas of your brain, leaving you pining for him day in and day out. It must be a form of torture, or karma from something you’ve done in a previous life, you’re sure of it, living in the same house, walking into the bathroom after he’s showered and smelling his body wash and cologne as it fills the humid room.
He can’t resist you either, and although he exists in an eternally guilty and conflicted state over it all, he maintains to himself that no lines have been crossed. Aside from days spent in the backyard, around the pool, he has only seen you fully dressed, not allowing himself to see what’s underneath, quickly averting his eyes when you start to change in front of him.
He looks so good, with his broad shoulders, gray streaked curls and chocolate brown eyes, so dark now, you can barely tell where his iris ends and his pupil begins. His neck is flushed, red and blotchy, nostrils flared and jaw clenched, almost grinding, with some of his dark chest hair peeking out from the flannel covering his arms. He’s big, tall, thick and muscular. You don’t blame your mother for marrying him, you’d do the same if it weren’t so fucked up, twenty plus year age difference and all.
The backs of his knuckles peek out through the fabric of your shirt, stretching it to its limits over his big hands. You feel the rough calluses of his palms grazing your skin, fingers splayed out along your ribcage, pressing into your flesh while he lets his thumb brush over the surface of your nipples, hardening from his touch. Your arousal is already pooling deep down, leaking into your panties, making your clit start to throb like a dull sort of pulsating ache, threatening to get worse every time the pads of this thumbs swipe across the tips of your breasts.
His breaths are heavy and shaky, biceps subtly twitching, and his cock hardening in his jeans, right below where you straddle him. Your shorts have ridden up to the crease of your thigh, light fabric stuffed under the flesh on your hips, and your thighs splay out on either side of his quads, knees touching the couch cushion. His eyes are glued to your chest, never having seen it bare, only under your thin shirts, shamefully and secretly loving how much you hate wearing bras at home.
Fuck, he shouldn’t be doing this, should’ve gotten the hell out of the living room before you got on top of him, but the fullness of your tits feels too perfect in his palms when he spreads his fingers out over them and squeezes gently, hearing the whimper you emit in response. He wants to hear it again, and he squeezes once more, eyes widening and his ears and neck going hot when you instinctively roll your hips over his crotch, high pitched little noises coming from your throat.
He knows you’re wet, knows you’re fucking soaked for him, but he can’t allow himself to feel it, to even look down at the stain in your panties, needing something, anything, to keep his resolve from crumbling. He keeps his eyes trained on the movement of his hands instead, and on your neck as you roll your head back, presenting the column of your throat to him, willing and ready for him to lick and bite at it as he wishes.
You can’t help but moan when he begins to rub your nipples, pinching them slightly between the pad of his thumb and the side of his index finger. The way his calluses scratch you ever so slightly makes your back arch, and your hands tighten their grip on his knees. “Shit,” he snarls, voice strained, stomach tightening, “Shouldn’t be makin’ sounds for me like that.” But he squeezes a little harder, and groans, low in his chest, when you moan again, closing your eyes and feeling your panties sticking to your sex, getting drenched in the wetness that would be much better spent helping his cock glide into you.
He knows that having it your way would mean unbuckling his belt, undoing his zipper and taking out his cock, so big and hard it makes your mouth water, sitting down on it and taking him deep inside you. But you take what he gives you, knowing he’s tiptoeing the line of his own sanity and self respect. You know he would fuck you if he could, and it makes you even wetter, makes a special spot inside you ache with need when he touches you.
Your clit is hovering below his hard bulge with nothing to rub against, but as you tighten up and his thumbs start to rub around the tips of your breasts, you somehow feel yourself getting closer, whimpering and fighting to keep your mouth closed. You want to touch yourself, want to slide your hand into your panties and play with yourself until you come, but you can’t push it, can’t disturb the delicate balance of getting what you need while letting him decide what is within limits, as if they haven’t already been crossed.
He squeezes your nipples harder, rubs faster circles, grabs your full tit and growls when you mewl at the pressure. Your back arches deeper and he can feel you start to tremble, your legs twitching even as you sit still. And even though you don’t realize it, too focused on how good it feels, how wet you are, how you can’t help but clench, he can tell you’re about to come, can see it in the movement of your hips and the slackness of your jaw.
And he has to back away now. He cannot have the sound of your climax echoing in his head, not tonight and not ever, but the sounds you make for him are too sweet, too desperate, and he can feel the precome leaking out of his cock as it twitches in his jeans, guaranteed to leave a mark in the denim.
You’re so close, and he has to know what you look like when you come for him, has to feel the shudders running through your body, has to imagine what it looks like, were he to lick you until you unravel. “Come on,” he mutters under his breath, tugging at your nipples to demand your attention, feeling as though he himself is about to burst, “Look at me and let it happen.”
You do as he says, looking down at him, at the blazing desperation in his eyes and the veins in his neck rapidly pulsing with blood. The sight of his hands under your shirt is erotic, so big they barely fit under the material, pushed up so high it only covers where he touches you.
With a final squeeze of your nipples, and his palms pushing up the fullness of your chest, massaging it with the heel of his hand, you come, clit untouched and arousal seeping out into your shorts, soaking through the fabric. You moan his name and he closes his eyes, holding back by the skin of his teeth, gently rubbing his thumbs over your sensitive peaks while your orgasm throbs deep in your pelvis.
He can’t turn back now, he has to see it again, his entire body is nearly shaking with arousal. He needs to fuck you, needs to lay you down and rip off your clothes and obliterate the rest of the limits he has already started to trip over, but you jump off of him at the sound of a key unlocking the front door, leaving him on the couch - flustered, hard and more guilty than he has ever felt.
I have ditched my taglists -> follow Angelic Notifs and turn your notifications on if you want my new fics served directly to you!
Summary: You hate the thought of being inexperienced and Joel, your caring stepfather, just wants to help out. Practise makes perfect, right?
Characters: Stepdad!Joel Miller x Stepdaughter!Reader.
Words: 3.2K.
Warnings: stepdad/stepdaughter relationship, step incest, reader is over 18, blow jobs, cum swallowing, deep throating, vaginal fingering, orgasms, 18+. MINORS DNI.
A/N: Not even sorry. Beta: @princessmisery666 but all the general bullshit is entirely mine. While likes are gold, feedback is golden. Please support our content creators by sharing our work.
“C’mon, you can do better than that,” Joel tuts, clicking his tongue as he pulls you roughly off his cock by a clump of hair.
Spluttering, you gulp back oxygen like it’s water. “I c-can’t.”
Your jaw aches as spittle and cum dribble down your chin, your throat burning from the force of his thrusts. Using the back of your hand to wipe away the mess, you notice the disappointment in his eyes as he rolls them, and your stomach sinks in shame.
Summary: Struggling to pay her college bills, Y/N becomes a cam girl to get herself out of debt but one night while online with her regular viewers, her stepdad Negan stumbles across her secret.
Characters: Negan x Reader.
Words: 3099.
Warnings: fingering, oral sex (male receiving), deep throating, rough sex, daddy kink, stepdad/stepdaughter relationship.
A/N: I’m back bitches! It’s been a long time since I wrote anything period, let alone written Negan but it feels so great to be back. This idea was inspired by Kat’s story arc in the mesmerising “Euphoria” and it kinda spiralled into this filth, ha. Not beta’ed so all errors, spelling mistakes and general bullshit are entirely mine. While likes are gold, feedback is golden. Masterlists/taglists can be found in my bio.
Kneeling over your laptop, your fingers expertly unhook your bra letting it fall onto the keyboard momentarily before sweeping it to one side. Eyes flickering upwards you wait for the influx of comments to clog up your feed and just like clockwork, they do.
“Look at those perfect titties. I’d love to suck them.”
“Shit princess I’m so hard.”
“Wanna see them bounce while I fuck you baby girl.”
A small smile widens into a grin as you bite down on your lower lip acting like the innocent girl your viewers tune into see. Fingers slowly tracing over your nipples, you pinch them between your finger and thumb and let out a tiny whimper knowing that’s just what they like. The comments keep coming while you turn round, sliding your hand up the back of your thigh and under your pink Tartan skirt to let them peek at your already naked pussy before letting the material fall back over what’s left of your modesty. You gaze over the numbers building rapidly in the top right of the screen, your heart fluttering as it clicks over to $700. You haven’t even been online ten minutes and already you’ve made double from the night before. The monetary value soon multiplies into the low $800s and you haven’t even started masturbating yet.
Warnings: some strong language, mentions of sex with a teenager (18+), mentions of rough sex and a small drop of daddy kink.
A/N: Inspired by song of the same name by Charlie Puth and Selena Gomez. My muse hit when this song came onto shuffle this afternoon as I drove home and this little drabble came fluttering out. Entirely in Negan’s POV. Not beta’ed so all errors, spelling mistakes and general bullshit are entirely mine. While likes are gold, feedback is golden. Masterlists/taglists can be found in my bio.
Oh, it’s such a shame that we don’t talk anymore.
We don’t talk anymore. We don’t talk anymore like we used to do.
We don’t love anymore. What was all of it for?
Oh, we don’t talk anymore, like we used to do. Like we used to do.
Don’t wanna know what kind of dress you’re wearing tonight.
If he’s giving it to you just right the way I did before.
I always wonder what you’re doing. Whether you’re out with friends sipping on a cocktail, cuddled up watching a movie in those tatty old pyjamas that you look adorable as shit in or perhaps that new boyfriend of yours is busy burying himself inside your perfect little pussy. Fuck, just thinking about it is making my balls tighten.
Maybe I need to go chase some tail - get rid of the knot in my belly that comes after not jacking off for a while. My hand does the job perfectly well but it ain’t shit compared to the feel of a woman wrapped round my cock. Correction: nothing compares to the feel of you wrapped round my cock.
I’ve been with a couple of girls since we broke up; y’know, just for something to sink my dick into. I call them girls cause that’s exactly what they were. Barely twenty, you’d think I would have jizzed in my pants at the sight of their pert little tits, shaven pussies and their eagerness to “please Daddy” but I felt nothing. Sure, I got hard and easily fucked them into the tatty mattress occupying the sleazy motel room I rented out for the night but you know that feeling when you know you’re in the room but you’re, like, not? Yeah, that was me. Some fucking out of body experience or some shit. Like I was a ghostly voyeur watching the randy old man violently pound some teenage pussy till she’s crying into the pillow. I gave up after the last one slapped me. Complained I fucked her too hard after she spent the evening screaming for me to “destroy her virgin cunt.”
murray just absolutely adores pussy!spanking, like, i can feel it.
murray bauman + pussy!spanking✨
🧡having you splayed out on the bed, no panties, legs widely spread, all while he's sat in between your thighs; his hands sensually caressing the soft flesh under his palms
🧡his hands continue their actions, softly squeezing your thighs in between his fingers, slowly but confidently working their way ever deeper between your thighs; letting out some chesty laughs and chuckles at the desperate gyrating of your hips up into his hands, bc ofc you were this needy for him
🧡he's just taking his chill time, bc there's no real rush; he's a big foreplay guy, so he'd legit willingly just massage your thighs and pussy for like an hr, too
🧡but just as you start to drift off to a horny, riled up but drowsy catnap, you feel his hands make their way to your silk-covered pussy; fingers running feather-light strokes up and down your swollen, throbbing lips in a slow, languid fashion. you start to buck up into his hands, but just as you do, you feel and hear a harsh, quick and deep *smack!* to your clothed mound;
🧡he pulls the material to the side, exposing the supple, moistened flesh of your pussy to the air, and continues the spanking with some slower, lazy slaps to your sticky pussy; only taking breaks to play with your lips and engorged clit, scooping up the excess arousal and sticky juices leaking from your clenching entrance.
🧡soon enough the only sounds to be heard are the tell-tale slaps to your exposed pussy, and the needy whines and moans erupting from your throat - "...hmm...if you want something, i'm gonna need to start hearing some words, pretty girl"
something tells me he's big on eye contact. carmy's more focused on the task at hand, his view set firmly on your pussy, but richie def has an inclination to check in.
every time you make a specific noise, or your hips buck just that little bit more than usual, or your fingers graze over his buzzcut extra firmly, he literally can't overcome the urge to lock gazes with you.
his mouth always forms this little opened semi-frown too, eyebrows cast up while his blue irises search for any hint of approval you give—once he finds it, he'll do pretty much all he can to keep hitting that pleasure spot, right until you gush all over his fingers and tongue.
MORE SMUTTY MURRAY HCS PLEASEEEEEEE and perhaps some aftercare ones 😌
now bc u asked so nicely i'mma go off, but it's slutty, m'k?
kinky foreplay + murray bauman hcs ✨
🧡so in another post we went through his main 5 kinks, and i referenced his bias to the more messy kind of vibe; so i think it's worth discussing here too in a little more detail:
🧡being a 70s guy, living in the middle of nowhere and not really giving a fuck at any moment, i get the vibe that he's pretty down for things to be chill. not chill like rose petals and candles though - more like, slow, messy, sloppy, lazy, languid, unabashedly-horny-chill, yk?
🧡the indolent and lazy energy is just rampant when he screws, like, i just feel it.
🧡it wouldn't surprise me if he was either a smart and well-to-do intellectual of the 60s/70s, or just straight-up a weed-smoking, long-haired, flip-flop-wearing hippie who'd lovemake all day and then get some conspiracy work done all night with an almost constant stream of vodka in the mix, ofc
🧡so now he's older, had more time to figure himself out and get set in his ways a little more, i see him as keening pretty hard into the lazy!play vibe, like,
🧡i can imagine a bunch of foreplay revolving around it ngl; sloppy french kisses, slow groping all over each other, esp thighs and pussy; grinding and and humping each other, loud, wanton groans and whines, lowkey just the baseline
🧡he's a big fan of the lube/liquid aspect too tbh, so lots of hickeys, licked trails up your collarbones and all over ur titties, bc ofc. open-mouthed, steamy and messy makeout sessions abound, and if u pair it with the occasional hair-pull or running of your hands over his chest?? i think he'd esp dig it
🧡likewise, i think bc of his spit kink, he'd def be down for y'all to just go at it with v languid, sensual tongue kissing esp. like y'all can be all tongue, groans and moans into each other's mouths, for like 10-20mins, and he's legit a happy camper. although this extends not just to foreply, but also oral-
🧡as we discussed before, he's an oral giver first and foremost, so paired with his love of all things wet and lazy, you can expect a lot of almost pornographically although 70s, if it helps lmao lewd slurping and slobbering all over your wet, swollen pussy;
🧡lots of loud groans and 'hggnh-'s too, bc he legit can't handle it when ur thighs start to shake, and all that extra arousal just drips right out of you and onto his awaiting lips, and he never gets tired of the sweet+salty scent of ur sticky pussy, like-oml??
🧡i also see him as not too interested in edging his partners, but being pretty down to be edged himself. so with that in mind, i think when he gets down (or underneath) there, he's legit just barreling right towards making you cum. not much teasing, after the first 5-10mins of foreplay, bc he's then trained to make your pussy clench and leak all over his mouth and beard ofc via orgasm solely
🧡that isn't to say that he sticks to one thing though, bc as explored previously i think he'd be a big fan of using his tongue a lot. like, a lot of circular motions; licking as far into your pussy as possible, and ofc, just going flat-tongue and having you ride down on it~
🧡the idea of your slick juices, paired with the warmth of your swollen, hot pussy opening right up against his mouth??? ngl i do think it's just right that he'd cum from a couple upward thrusts while ur riding him just on that vibe alone ygwim?
🧡not to labor the point here either, but saliva and his precum would also be big parts of the lube situ as well. like, when he's eating you out, i think he'd be happy to just start while he's going on you;
🧡so he'd be slurping up ur wet, warm pussy while he's got a hand tugging at his stiffened, leaky cock too. he'd scoop up all the extra arousal from his dick, maybe spit into his palm, mix it, and then rub it all over your lips and pussy opening, ngl i'm gross sorry
🧡i see him as a big fan of pseudo-massage stuff too, so you can bet hes really going to town on rubbing your mixed juices all over your pussy, starting from your clit, continuing down further between your legs; a lot of 'mhmhuhh, fuck..look at that sweetie..", "god, you're wet..can you feel it, babygirl?? looks real pretty, shit", "you like that, don't you?? huh, yeah you do, i can feel it..all wet and slippery, fuck, i w'na get inside you sweetheart"-type stuff, yk?
🧡likewise, i don't think he really gives a fuck about things 'looking' nice yk? he's more for the pure sensations, so a lot of janky-looking positions and methods in which to achieve the most pleasure are commonplace
🧡if things don't look 'nice' or go 'wrong', i genuinely don't think he'd really care; like, the priority it for y'all to cum, so he's not wasting time getting worked up or embarrassed about things that could happen,
🧡need extra lube? "well let's go get it"; more foreplay? "sure, but you're riding my face, right??"; different surface? "yeah, let's try the chair again--threw a knee on the counter last time"-
🧡i think irrespective if it looks wack asf, he's out here to make it feel the best, so if you fall off the bed, or can't fit his cock inside you just yet, he's not getting flustered - like, he's pretty seasoned, so i'mma say he just turns you 'round or lifts a leg up, and tries again and again, and again...u know the drill
hope you liked that - lowkey embarrassed i simp for a senior citizen, but idgaf i had fun writing this. 🤭
if you want something like it, request via this link here!
I reaaallyy need to update my masterlist but till then, I'm just saying, imagine the first time Bucky jerks himself with his metal hand. It starts off as a curiosity thing when hes lying in bed, looking at the intricate gold bands that mix with the gun metal grey. Then his mind starts thinking about the pretty girl from the bookstore with her pleated skirts and warm sweaters, his hand finding itself dipping into his sweats, happily going commando in the comfort of his home.
He gives his cock a squeeze, as if he's warning himself to calm down but it just makes him leak and before he knows it, he's lifting his hips up to pull his sweats down just enough to free his cock.
He's hot all over; its summer and and AC is hanging on by a thread so it's not great. It doesn't help that his mind is now consumed with her, the glistening pink tip of his cock needy for attention. He uses his flesh hand at first, wrapping his fist around his shaft, giving himself a few long strokes but his body is burning up so badly.
Then he gets an idea.
He switches up, slowly bringing is other hand down, hissing when the cool metal touches his hand sensitive length, biting a moan back when he swipes his thumb over the slit. He carefully wraps his hand around his cock, giving it an experimental tug, a shiver crawling up his spine at the feeling.
It feels good, instantly cooling his body, a string of precum dripping onto his lower tummy. He started to move his hand a bit faster, enjoying the way the divots and hard material of his hand add to the sensation of him masturbating, massaging his cock in a way he's never felt before.
"Fuck" Bucky sucked in a breath, stroking himself faster, thinking about how pretty those skirt would look pulled up while he slid his cock between those sweet thighs, pushing her cute little cotton panties aside.
He feels a little guilty thinking about pure filth with someone so innocent but he can't help it. Why the fuck did she have to smell so good and be so sweet. What he wouldn't give to just have her sit on his cock while he rubbed against her folds, painting her pussy with his spend. The very thought makes his cock throb, a sheen of sweat covering his body as he starts to stroke himself faster. His balls feel so heavy and while he lets go of his cock to momentarily give his sack some attention.
"Oh god" He isn't a talker when he usually touches himself but he's also never felt like this before. The metal is still cool to the touch making his body jolt when he cups himself, rolling his balls in his hand before tugging and squeezing them gently, making a mess on himself in the process.
His tosses his sweats off, spreading his legs wide so he can touch himself better, burying his shame away, too consumed with pleasure to care. He rubs and caresses his balls, letting his fingers trail up to spread his precum around his cock head before going back down and pulling on them between needy whines.
He blushes in the privacy of his room, surprised at how gone he sounds, glad his walls are sound proof. He now thinks about how much cum he has, how hard and heavy his cock is, all for her, so much to fill her up with.
He'd give anything to bend her over the wooden desk, railing her till her glasses fell off, letting her suck on his fingers while she cried over his cock. He just knew she'd squeeze his cock so tight, making a slick mess on him, giving him the most perfect cream to lick up after. He'd suck and lick up her pussy from behind after filling her right up, his balls pulling up to his body at the thought.
"y/n" He whimpered, back arching off the bed on its own accord, poorly containing his whined and moans bouncing off the walls, stroking himself faster, his hand wrapped tightly around his cockhead. "Fuck y/n!"
He can nearly cries when his cock starts to throb, all the sensations too much between his hot body and the coldness of his arm, his body trembling as streams of cums shoot onto his abs.
He pants, letting his metal hand flop back to his side, too tired to move, lazily grabbing a tissue to clean himself up. He can't help but feel a sense of happiness at his new found discovery of pleasure, wriggling his fingers before drifting off to sleep.
As requested, just a little back story for how you and Bucky got together after this fic (Steve cheating on you with Sharon). You could read this as a standalone. Turns out the backstory is longer than the OG fic but I hope you like it! <3
Warnings: Cheating, angst, smut, flufff, comforting, protective Bucky falling in love with you
"It's-it's not what it looks like"
It was pathetic even for him.
What else could it possibly look like.
Steve scrambled up to cover himself as if he wasn't balls deep in someone else while Sharon squeaked, pulling the sheets over herself. You didn't move from where you were standing, still blinking at the flushed captain while he struggled to pull his boxers on, nearly tripping as he ran over to you.
"Sweets, it's not-
"Please don't" You whispered shaking your head, tears you didn't notice streaming down your face, still looking at Sharon's fucked out form, the deep blush on her cheeks and messy hair enough to let you know they had already been at it for a while.
"Let me explain-Wait, y/n!!"
-
You walked as fast as you could in desperate need of air, hoping you wouldn't run into anyone as you dashed down the hall, your eyes trained on the floor. You nearly bit through your lip, throat closing in on itself painfully tight, not noticing Bucky as you dashed by.
"Y/n?" Bucky was on his way for a run when he saw you leave Steve's room, surprised to hear a sniffle as you ran off with your head down. It wasn't his business to pry into the relationship but seeing you upset made him worry, now also concerned for his best friend.
He made his way over to Steve's room instead of chasing after you, his blood turning ice cold finding a half dressed Sharon along with Steve still in nothing but his briefs.
"What the hell"
"I-" Steve froze, stuttering when Bucky's eyes flicked between him and the other blonde with disgust, stepping outside again till they were both fully dressed.
"What the fuck Steve" Bucky's fists were balled at his sides trying not punch his best friend square in the face, giving him a chance to explain himself first. Not that it mattered.
"It wasn't supposed to happen"
"Which part, you cheating or y/n finding out" Bucky stared at the Captain while he sat down on the edge of his bed in defeat.
"Relax, Barnes, it's not like she was your girl-
"You shut the fuck up" Bucky growled when Sharon tried to speak up, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to collect himself.
"Leave. Just leave" Steve turned to her, ignoring the annoyed huffs she made as she collected her things, slamming the door shut behind her.
"It was just the one time. We never did anything else before th-this" Steve's voice cracked on the last word before breaking into a sob, running his hands through his hair while Bucky made his way over to sit beside him.
"Is that supposed to change anything punk?" Bucky shook his head in disappointment, now worried for you instead. "Why would you do that to her"
Silence followed Bucky's question while Steve wracked his brain for the answer.
Why.
Why the fuck would he do that.
You were nothing short of perfect for him. Beautiful on the inside and out. When Steve first met you, he had the same feeling in his stomach as the day he'd met Peggy. His heart started to beat a little bit faster. Cheeks a bit warmer. He mustered up all the courage he could to ask you out on a date and the second you said yes, it became the happiest day of his life. He felt so strongly for you, it almost hurt.
However along with his passion came an equal amount impulsiveness and carelessness. It showed during brave, heroic acts where he threw himself out of buildings or on top of grenades. Now it was showing during his less gracious moments where he gave into a moment of temptation, not thinking about anything else when he took the blonde to his room, falling for the batting of her lashes and soft touches.
-
"It was just the one time sweets, I promise. I've never done anything else"
Steve's desperate voice made your heart hurt, his red rimmed eyes and puffy face were full of regret. You chewed your lip to keep it from quivering, the both of you sitting on the edge of your bed.
"What was the reason?"
"I-I don't have one" His head was hung in shame, unable to meet your eyes while he fidgeted with his hands. No answer would dignify what he did and you certainly deserved better than any pathetic excuse he'd come up with. He couldn't hold himself back when he heard you sniffle, pulling you into his lap and cradling your head to his chest, hugging you tightly as you shook in his arms.
"I'm so sorry sweets, I'm so sorry" His voice cracked again, tears dampening your hair as he cried with you, rocking you gently, "I know you deserve better, I shouldn't have- m'so sorry baby"
You sobs died down to sniffles, eventually calming down to shaky breaths, the room falling silent again. The wounds were too fresh, exhaustion taking over stronger with all your emotions in turmoil. The scent that always brought you comfort and love now stung when you inhaled, still hiding away in the crook of his neck.
Old habits die hard and you found yourself falling asleep moments later, still tucked in his arms while he continued to whisper apologies, begging for forgiveness, hoping for one more chance he knew he didn't deserve.
"Can you give me another chance? Just one" Steve whispered when your eyes cracked open, your body till drained and head throbbing. "Just one darling, you don't have to tell me right now, I just- "
"I'll think about it"
Steve nodded, leaving your room to give you some space while you thought it over. You tried to take a hot bath to ease the heartache but it did nothing. You hated how quickly you had melted into him the second he comforted you. You hated how much you wanted to forgive him easily because you loved him so much. He had just slept with someone else and you went and fell asleep in his arms.
Pathetic.
You eventually made your way downstairs for a snack, unable to fall asleep, embarrassment crawling up your cheeks when you saw Bucky nursing a cup of coffee, seeing your disheveled form. Before you could do or say anything, he pulled out a chair for you, having you sit down and pecking the tiniest kiss on top of your head.
"I'll make it for you" Bucky smiled, pulling out your favorite mug with kittens on it and putting the kettle on. He knew your go to was chamomile tea during late nights, grabbing a box of chocolate chip cookies to snack on.
"He wants another chance" you mumbled between sips, "and it's pathetic that I'm considering it"
"That's not true y/n" Bucky sighed, giving your hand a comforting squeeze, the cool metal easing your nerves. "It's not pathetic. You really loved him, that doesn't just disappear over night"
"I'm supposed to be stronger than this" You shrugged but Bucky wasn't having any of it, scooting closer to you.
"You are strong. Its hard because you loved him. And you still do"
"I wasn't good enough, was I" If it wasn't for his super hearing Bucky would've missed the whisper of your voice, his eyes growing wide at what you said.
"Don't. Doll, in the most respectful way possible, you're beautiful. On the inside and out. Anyone can see it. I don't feel comfortable around others the way I do with you. You're one of the wonderful people I've ever met and I've been alive for 103 years. The prettiest doll too. If you were mine-"
Bucky blinked as soon as the words left his mouth, no. There is no if you were mine Barnes, that's the girl your best friend loves-
"Sorry" He caught himself, cutting himself off, not wanting to overstep, "What I'm saying is you were not the problem here. Not in the slightest. There's no way the sweetest angel I've ever met is not good enough"
"Well, I was clearly lacking something, there's just me and he's the great Captain America" You scoffed.
"To the world" Bucky nodded, shaking his head thinking about the person that he knew from all those years ago. Steve Rogers, a skinny kid who got beat up in back alley ways. "But he's also that punk from Brooklyn who got all excited when some blonde kissed him for his bravery while also being in love with Peggy Carter. Melted into her arms and then tailed after Peggy like a kicked puppy seconds later when he realized he fucked up. He's not always the brightest bulb in the box even if he is the bravest. Sometimes"
"I don't know what to do"
"You don't have to know right now" Was all Bucky said, not wanting to persuade you to do anything when you were already struggling emotionally. He made you another cup of tea before walking you to your room and giving you a tight hug, letting you know he was always there if you wanted to talk before bidding you good night.
-
It had been a few weeks. You tried. You tried with all your heart to appreciate the efforts Steve made to mend the relationship but your mind would always flash to what you walked in on that day.
Their clothes on the floor.
Warm, flushed skin.
Sounds of pleasure.
Whenever he kissed your cheek, you thought of the way he probably did the same to her. You weren't ready to be intimate with him and you weren't sure you'd ever be able to again. In the mean time, you spent more and more time with Bucky. It helped having someone to talk to who also understood the person you had been in love with.
With every conversation you had with him, you started to feel confused. The fluttery feeling you used to have with Steve started to happen with Bucky instead. But maybe that was because he was the one person you knew you were able to turn to. Maybe.
But then you started hanging out with him even when you weren't sad. When it was just the two of you left back at the compound, you'd enjoy walks around the city, visiting art galleries, movie marathons and late night drives. Sometimes you'd both end up falling asleep together, waking up wrapped up in each others arms, only to pull away without saying a word once the sun rose again.
Your friendship was purely platonic is what you kept telling yourself when you found yourself trying to find nicer outfits to see Bucky, adding a touch of extra makeup and finding excuses to cancel on Steve just to relax at home with the team his bestfriend instead.
-
You slipped on some comfy clothes, ready to go to sleep when there was a knock at your door. You knew exactly who it was considering it was just the both of you once again, your facing feeling warm as you made your way to the door.
"Let's go for a ride?" Bucky gave you his signature cheeky smile that stuck with him from the 40's, his eyes sparkling when you took the other helmet from his hand, playfully rolling your eyes
"Alright Sergeant, let's go"
Bucky happily led you to the garage, ignoring the way his heart flipped when you wrapped your arms around his waist, tightly holding onto him when the engine roared to life. He had no reason to ask you to go on a ride with him. You were doing perfectly fine. You were trying to work things out with Steve and that alone had its issues but you were doing much better than before.
You didn't need to use him as a distraction.
You didn't need him at all.
But he was starting to feel like he needed you...
He couldn't think of you like that...
He shook those rogue thoughts away, zipping through the near empty streets, the cool wind making you shiver, snuggling closer to him. Bucky found himself placing his hand above yours often whenever he was at a stop light, neither of you saying anything every time your fingers intertwined instead. Once he parked back at the compound, neither of you said anything, letting the thick tension between you two linger as he walked you to your room.
Then he said good night.
Kissed your cheek.
Stayed rooted in place when he should've walked back to his room instead.
That night Bucky made love to you for the first time. It wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't planned. Your underwear didn't match. He didn't have protection.
But none of that mattered.
It was different.
You knew Steve loved you and constantly told you how beautiful you were but a part of you still always felt insecure whenever you were intimate with him. Like you'd never be perfect in his eyes though he never said such a thing.
But not with Bucky.
You let his eyes roam your body, kissing every bit of your skin he could touch. You didn't doubt for a second that he found you beautiful everywhere. His hands roamed the soft skin of your tummy and you didn't tense your stomach. You kissed his shoulder where mental met flesh and he didn't flinch, feeling just as safe around you.
He was inside you and it still didn't feel close enough. You were wrapped up in each other with your arms and legs tangled together, soft moans filling the room as if you were still trying to keep what was happening a secret. It wasn't right, it should've have happened but it did and neither of you wanted to stop.
"Angel, I-I love you" He whispered, desperation and shame clouding his mind because he knew Steve was trying but you deserved so much more loving. "I know I shouldn't but I do. Fuck, I love you so much" His voice was muffled against your neck while he continued to rock his hips, hitching a knee up to push himself deeper.
"I love you too" You surprised yourself with how easily the words followed, feeling guilty from how true they were. You did love him. It wasn't in the moment. You had loved him from before. You loved him more even now.
"M'gonna treat you right princess, I promise. Swear on my life, whenever you're ready, if you'd have me" He pulled away from your neck, his wide innocent puppy eyes pleading with you to believe him, that he'd take care of you with his whole heart, "I won't break your heart precious girl"
"I'll be yours" You moaned as he moved faster, desperately chasing both of your climaxes. You clung into him tightly as he started to fill you up without a second guess. "One day, I'll be yours"
That started it. Neither of you said anything, not acknowledging what it was. After all, you were technically still Steve's girl. But it didn't stop Bucky from sneaking into your room in the middle of the night. It didn't stop you from sneakily holding his hand under the blanket during movie nights.
Maybe you were not ready to tell Steve yet but you were more certain about what real love felt like now than ever before.
