Grand Master.ᐟ LUKE SKYWALKER came into your life like a falling star. He’s beautiful and utterly unexpected.
You remember it as vividly as if it had happened yesterday, despite the years that now separate you from that moment yet time had done little to dull the memory. When you look back on it, every detail remains startlingly clear, preserved with a sharpness that borders on impossible.
It had been a Tuesday evening.
One ordinary and unremarkable tuesday, the kind of day that passed without ceremony. Where nothing of significance occupied your attention. Your chores had been completed, everything in your apartment was in order, and you'd eaten enough to keep yourself comfortably full. By all accounts, the day should have ended there.
Instead, you found yourself wrestling with that familiar feeling again. The quiet, persistent thing buried deep inside your chest that urged you to seek something more and to venture beyond the confines of your life and discover whatever it was that always seemed just beyond your reach.
You knew the feeling intimately. That wretched feeling of longing that craved itself into your chest and made a home there. It was practically ritual by now. Every night it returned, and every night you tried to ignore it. It was at its most dangerous during the late hours, when the lights dimmed low and the world grew quiet. When there was nothing left but the cold darkness outside your windows to bear witness to the wishes you never dared voice aloud.
You kept those desires locked close to your heart and every morning, when the sun rose over the horizon, you carefully packed them away again beneath lock and key. Because wanting and having were two very different things.
You weren't naïve. There’s some things in life that could not be attained simply because you wished for them. If desire alone were enough to make dreams reality, then perhaps you would never have learned what it meant to truly want something—to ache for it so deeply it became part of you.
The thought lingered for a moment before you blinked it away. You were sprawled across the couch in your apartment living room, your laptop balanced uselessly on your lap as your attention drifted somewhere far beyond its screen. You have been lost in your thoughts for some time now, you stared blankly ahead until restlessness finally pushed you to your feet.
Maybe there was something interesting in the fridge. It wasn't much of a plan, but it was enough.
You rose from the couch and started toward the kitchen. You took one step and then it turned into two and before you could make it to three, a deafening crash shattered the quiet. The sound was unmistakable in that it was heavy, violent, and entirely out of place.
Your curiosity seized hold immediately that you found yourself changing course, you hurried toward the nearest window where the sound came from loudest and pushed it open. Leaning out, you searched for the source of the disturbance below.
Your breath caught in your throat. There, nestled between the building's dumpsters and garbage bins was a strange device unlike anything you'd ever seen before. At first glance it looked almost spherical, its shape smoother and rounder than any vehicle or machine you could identify. It had carved a crater into the asphalt where it had landed, partially buried in the pavement as though it had fallen straight from the sky and perhaps it had.
But if you were being honest, the machine wasn't what held your attention. Not really, not in the slightest.
It was the person emerging from it. You watched as a figure crouched inside the opening before climbing free. He straightened to his full height, dusting himself off as though crashing into a row of dumpsters was merely a minor inconvenience.
Then he looked up and your eyes met.
That was your first coherent thought.
‘My, what beautiful blue.’
His eyes were impossibly striking, vivid enough to stop your thoughts dead in their tracks. It was infuriating that beautiful didn't feel like a sufficient word, neither did handsome come close to being correct to how you felt suited the man beneath; although you eventually come to ethereal and that seems to have fit better than the former.
The man standing below looked as though he had stepped out of some feminine crafted dream or perhaps a fairytale so that it makes his beauty easier to accept, something unreal given shape and form. You could hardly believe he was actually there.
The entirety of it all felt surreal and suddenly, that longing you'd spent years burying flared to life inside your chest. You wanted to believe that it could only catch you in the night yet here it was, burning bright and hopeful with a hunger you could no longer ignore now that it made itself so apparent.
As if it had recognized something before you had. As if it knew. That this impossible stranger had somehow arrived carrying the answer to a question you'd spent your whole life asking.
Then reality finally caught up with you and your second thought arrived immediately after the first.
Lush, vibrant greenery surrounded you on all sides, thriving beneath the warmth of the sun. You breathed deeply, drawing in the rich scent of growing living beings, and with it came a familiar sense of calm. The tranquility settled over you easily, but it wasn't long before it gave way to something else entirely. You were reminiscing, it had been quite some time since those early days, yet the memories remained vivid. Looking back now, you regarded them with a newfound fondness. After all, they had led you here—to everything you had once only dreamed of having.
A quiet sigh escaped you and you knew that your meditation had clearly gone astray.
Rather than focusing on your connection to the Force, your thoughts had wandered down familiar paths, chasing old memories instead. Then again, that has become increasingly common these days. Ever since agreeing to this grand adventure, your entire understanding of reality has been overturned.
You had learned of galaxies beyond imagination. You’ve come to learn of wars that shaped civilizations and connections that transcended worlds. You’ve come to learn power, destiny, sacrifice, and love. How all of those things are intertwined in the greater scheme of it all and how there is triumph and sorrow like two sides of a coin.
Though, admittedly, most of what you knew had first come from the man who had crash-landed in your building's dumpster. You smiled faintly at the thought.
Luke had told you story after story, and you had listened to every single one.
You learned his name, Luke Skywalker, and with it came the history of a galaxy so vastly different from your own that comparisons felt impossible. He spoke of a desert planet called Tatooine where he had grown up as a simple moisture farmer and he was no older than nineteen when he lost the aunt and uncle who had raised him.
Then came Ben Kenobi, the Jedi. Then he told you about the Rebellion, the princess, the two droids, a smuggler and his first mate. The impossible journey that eventually led to the salvation of an entire galaxy.
Sometimes, when he recounted those stories, they sounded less like history and more like a grand and tall tale and yet here you were, standing with him as tangible living proof that every impossible thing he described had actually happened and it was real and he possessed the experience, the joy and sorrow that comes with being involved in such life altering events.
At times, it felt as though you had stepped into a fantasy of your own. No matter how many times you blinked for a moment or two longer, no matter how often you expected reality to pull you back home, it never happened. You never woke up and the reality of now remained and all you could do was take a deep breath and continue moving forward, one day at a time.
As your thoughts drifted further, they inevitably landed where they always seemed to.
Luke with his golden hair, far more cleaner now than when you'd first met him, swept casually to the side. Luke with those endlessly kind blue eyes that somehow managed to remain gentle despite everything they had witnessed.
You remembered the first time you'd seen him standing beneath your apartment window.
He is beautiful. Even if the word didn’t feel like it could carry the weight of his essence, you had thought it then, and the years had done nothing to change your opinion.
If anything, he was even more beautiful now. Perhaps it was because you knew him better. Perhaps it was because you had been allowed to remain by his side, orbiting around him here within the Jedi Temple.
Luke had explained the Force to you countless times. This...energy binds all living things and the galaxy together, the current that flows through every corner of existence and connects the galaxy as one. Whenever he spoke about it, there was always a particular fondness in his eyes as he was reliving the memory behind his eyes and that is why you're able to see it there too.
You remembered watching him explain it. The warmth in his expression and the curve of his lips as they moved around each careful word.
You had tried your very hardest not to stare mostly because you didn't want to be caught. Your attention has a habit of wandering, it starts with following the shape of his mouth and then it moves to tracing the line of his jaw. Watching the subtle movements beneath his skin every time he spoke. Your gaze would drift lower to the strong line of his neck and before you knew it, you'd find yourself entertaining ridiculous thoughts. You think to yourself what it might feel like to rest there; to carve out a place for yourself within the hollow of his throat and remain there forever.
The memory alone made heat creep up the back of your neck. Luke would be sharing personal stories from his life, trusting you with pieces of himself, and meanwhile you were sitting there thinking about him like that.
It was mortifying. The familiar feeling began climbing through your chest once more before your awareness abruptly returned to the present.
You felt it immediately. A presence you know with a startling quality, so warm, bright and incredibly familiar to you that you know from the shape and feel of it alone of who it belongs to and it settles there in your mind, already deciding itself that this would be home. The Force carried it toward you long before your ears could detect approaching footsteps.
Panic immediately followed. You hastily shoved every incriminating thought into the deepest corners of your mind, burying them beneath layers of forced composure. They were far too obvious and far too revealing for your liking and it was damning; considering you hadn't been meditating at all.
So you straighten your posture, you tug at the robes gathered around your bodice whilst schooling your expression into something resembling serenity. The image of a Padawan learner, calm, centered and at peace; as though you had spent the last hour communing with the Force rather than daydreaming about your Master.
You only hoped it was convincing.
"Padawan." The voice comes as soft, steady and belonging to Luke, your master; hero of the rebellion and legend of the galaxy. The man who had altered the course of your entire life with a single crash landing.
The Force itself could not have prepared you for the effect that one word had on you. How embarrassing as it was to admit even if only to yourself, you could have melted right then and there.
You take a steady breath and open your eyes, prepared to greet him properly but the words die the moment they reach your tongue. For a heartbeat, you can only stare.
The vibrant landscape of Ossus stretches behind him, all lush greens and golden sunlight, and somehow it only serves to make him stand out more. His dark robes contrast sharply against the brightness around him, drawing your eye immediately, but it isn't the robes that hold your attention.
It's him. The kindness that softens his features and the quiet authority that lingers beneath it. The faint hint of sternness that never quite manages to disguise how deeply he cares. Everything about him beckons you and you let yourself remain foolish to keep admiring. You look at Luke and feel a sudden rush of gratitude that you are allowed to witness these moments so often. Sometimes you wonder if it had been his eyes and fair face that convinced you to follow him all those years ago. Perhaps it had simply been him.
"Luke," you greet, a smile finding its way onto your lips before you can stop it.
"How have you found meditating so far?" he asks. He pauses only a few feet away while you remain seated upon the grass.
You tilt your head up to look at him and immediately regret it. The sunlight catches him at precisely the wrong angle or perhaps the perfect one. It creates a halo around his golden hair, illuminating him in such a way that he appears almost unreal. As if the Force itself had decided to place a spotlight upon him.
You hate it. You adore it. You remember, belatedly, that he asked a question. Hopefully the silence that followed can be mistaken for contemplation rather than you being completely starstruck.
"Oh!" you begin, scrambling for an answer. "Well, it's been..." The words abandon you in this moment and you begin to think of your own mind as something traitorous to you. You had tried to meditate. You genuinely had. But nostalgia had a habit of sinking its teeth into you and dragging you away before you could stop it.
You clear your throat and attempt to gather what remains of your composure.
"It's been well." It isn't your best answer. Still, you offer him a reassuring smile and hope it compensates for the lack of substance.
Luke gives you a look. It was a look that was not quite disapproving yet not quite amused either. It rested somewhere in between the two and it was sprinkled with a touch of exasperation, perhaps yet the tenderness in his gaze is what truly undoes you. You suspect he already knows exactly how little meditating you've actually accomplished today. Nevertheless, the corners of his mouth lift every so fondly.
"May I?" He gestures toward the space opposite you.
You nod immediately, inviting him to sit. It doesn't surprise you that guided meditation remains part of your training. Luke has always been patient with you, even when it all seems so difficult to grasp and understanding feels like a futile endeavor. As he settles across from you, preparing to guide the two of you toward the Force, you interrupt before he can begin.
"Does it come easy for you?" The question that spills out of you is vague, you know it is. Truthfully, you would have accepted almost any answer if it meant hearing him speak a little longer.
A gentle breeze stirs the grass around you and for a moment, the silence stretches between you as he considers the question.
"It doesn't," Luke answers at last. "Certainly not at the beginning." Something wistful settles into his expression. You can almost see him looking back through his own memories, remembering what it felt like to stand where you are now.
His mouth curves beautifully into a small smile. For just a second, the composed Jedi Master fades. You catch a glimpse of the farm boy beneath the legend of what the galaxy regards him to be and something else stands in its place; young, earnest and boyish. The moment vanishes almost as quickly as it appears and you wish you could capture it and keep it bottled forever to treasure.
"You've come a long way," Luke continues. "Your progress has been remarkable." The sincerity behind the words strikes with surprising force that your breath catches and you keep it close to your chest.
"Every Padawan has their own path, just as I had mine. And I have every bit of faith that you're going to do wonderfully." The honesty in his voice leaves no room for doubt and it becomes undoubtedly clear that he means every word.
You can feel it, the emotion rising unexpectedly within your chest where you keep everything in place, tucked away or stored and it feels profoundly unfair. Unfair that he gets to look like this, to be this kind, to say things like that with such complete sincerity and somehow leave you responsible for enduring the consequences.
Before reason and rational thought can intervene, your body acts on its own. You lean forward.
It's hardly graceful. A little clumsy, if you're being honest but you've been struck speechless by him for far too long and you find that you have to do something about it now.
Your lips meet his own and for one suspended moment, the world seems to hold its breath. The gesture is gentle and fleeting, but it confirms something you've suspected for years. A smile as nice as his could only belong to someone equally sweet. One of your hands settles against his shoulder while the other rises instinctively to cradle his cheek. You allow yourself that single moment and you fight off the smile creeping at your mouth so you don’t have to break contact with him so soon.
Then reality catches up with you as it always does.
Pulling away feels wrong because every part of you wants to remain there, to close the distance again and get a second opinion of the sweetness of him, just to be certain. But sensible thought finally returns, bringing with it a rush of heat that blooms across your neck and ears in tandem with the embarrassment, hope and want mixed inside of you all tangled together.
"You make it easier." The confession leaves you on a soft breath. You search his face for any sign of disappointment, any sign that you've overstepped and the slightest inflection of it you know you’d stop this. You find none. Instead all you find is encouragement, patience.
"Having you here with me..." The words falter for you and it makes you draw in a breath, as though courage might somehow come with it. You hope it does because you need it more than ever now.
"I couldn't have done any of this without you. And I'm grateful for that." You shake your head slightly at that, the words themselves still doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel complete. Your hand tightens unconsciously in the fabric of his robes as the real words finally rise to the surface, the ones you've carried for far too long.
"I love you." The moment they leave your lips, everything inside your chest seems to have paused indefinitely. You swallow, like you were trying to take the words back but they don't and you're left to live with the effect it's bound to cause.
"That's what I'm trying to say." The admission comes out almost embarrassingly small. Now there is nothing left to hide behind and all you can do is look at him, hopeful and terrified yet waiting all the same.
Luke stares at you. For once, the man who always seems to know exactly what to say appears completely at a loss. The emotions he has spent years learning to understand and control are written plainly across his face. He could hide them, you know he could; he was the one that taught you after all. But he doesn't, not from you.
A smile slowly spread across his features and it was bright and warm beneath the Ossus sky. He lifts his hand and cups your cheek, his touch gentle enough to make your heart ache.
Then he says your name in that soft and affectionate tone and it instantly becomes your favorite way you've ever heard it spoken.
"I love you too." The words are little more than a breath yet they change everything and you feel like you can breathe again too, relief crashes through you and a swell of joy follows close behind.
You find yourself smiling so hard your cheeks begin to ache. For a moment, neither of you says anything. You simply sit there together, letting the reality of it settle between you; the mutuality of your affections are now bared out in the open, undeniable; something that had existed quietly for so long finally given voice.
Eventually, Luke's smile shifts into something more playful. "Now," he says, "about meditating..." The teasing note in his voice earns an immediate eye roll from you and such sweet laughter escapes before you can stop it.
His smile only widens and before he can argue otherwise, you lean toward him once more.
As it turned out, meditation was the last thing on either of your minds.
