Hey guys heres some sistercest slop for ya
Another day, another soulless slog.
At least it was over, the building seemed so distant now from how far Gwen had parked out. Lately though, the weight of the world felt like it was becoming all too much for Gwen. She hadn’t slept, not for a while. She’d been staying up to an abnormal degree as of late. Her shitty office job had been shoveling a seemingly impossible load onto her recently, but being the doormat she was, she couldn’t exactly say no to it all. She had no time for herself, and to boot, no time at home anymore either.
Sometimes, Gwen thought that all this hardship might actually be making her grow closer and closer to miraculously growing a spine somehow. She had fantasies about snapping and just going postal. Lately, between the mounds of mindless spreadsheet curation, she caught herself thinking some downright dastardly thoughts involving her boss and his unnecessarily thick, shitty budget art deco themed desk leg shoved up his ass unlubed.
Best not to invoke the beast’s wrath though, unfortunately. He was well known for being a cutthroat dick, but that made vengeful thoughts seem all the sweeter. Better to quell those thoughts though, because unfortunately, work was very much a necessity. Gotta make rent, gotta eat, gotta pay the bills and make at least the basics if you can’t do much else.
That, and her biggest expense, the fact that her sister still depended on her. Though, it was hard to see her in the same light she viewed other necessary expenses like paying for gas in.
Olivia was a sweet girl, almost heart wrenchingly so. She had such soulful, empathetic eyes that contrasted with the deep dark pits that obscured her genuinely soft heart. Though, Gwen found it hard to blame her, considering the life Olivia led. Occasionally, Gwen would let her mind wander during these rough patches, conjuring up ways to blame herself for the situation. Ultimately, Gwen had decided that what ruined their family was her transition.
Her father was deeply religious, no son of his would just up and decide to be a girl one day. Such a preposterous idea to merely be mentioned said all that needed to about his dreams of living his manly man heartbreaker fantasies vicariously through his little boy. Her mom was always on Gwen’s side sure, but eventually, her dad decided that actually, he’d had enough and divorced her. Eventually their mom spiralled. She started drinking to excess and staying out late at bars, until one day, she got pregnant with a little sister, one she never wanted, and one she didn’t want to raise. A few years after, she just… Drove off, and the police never found her. After her disappearance, parental duties fell onto Gwen, and she became the sole caretaker of little Olivia, who was just a toddler. One day, what little savings the two were left with ran out, and they started selling things. First the furniture, then the consoles, and then odd knickknacks and personal belongings full of sentiments of better times gone by. Eventually, Gwen had to drop out of school and get a job, all while balancing her GED. It was frankly a miracle she got hired at the prestigious white collar company she worked at, even if it was a revolving door comprised of starry eyes in, empty voids out.
She sighed, shaking her head. Those sour thoughts were creeping in again. Time to go home. She swung into her shitty Corolla, slammed the door, and buried her face into her hands to hide from the world. She started sobbing, and as if God wanted to rub salt in an already rotten wound, she felt the stubble creeping on her face because of course she hadn’t shaved that morning. She started sobbing, big teardrops landing indistinguishably onto the cloth of her inky black skirt. She couldn't stop thinking of the grave she dug for herself, the same hole she dug that flung endless dirt onto a heaping pile of all the reasons why her poor, innocent Olivia’s life was so fucked.
She can’t leave Olivia at home all by herself. She can't take care of herself, not on her own, not yet.
Gwen sighed, steeling herself. She wiped her tears away onto the cuff of her crisp white work shirt’s sleeve before starting her car and recklessly ripping off at top speed. She grit her teeth, watching the world zip by all while wearing every ounce of her self hatred in one big, angry scowl. She glared at the empty street ahead of her until clarity hit and she realized that at this rate, she'd get pulled over. Then she’d end up at best with a hefty speeding ticket, and at worst, spending the night in county jail at the behest of a particularly nasty officer. The speeding ticket was rough enough even without the thoughts of Olivia staying at home all alone while she rotted in jail. How would she even explain why she was speeding to poor Olivia, who always cared so much about her wellbeing? That, and Gwen knew she couldn’t afford to have that precious overtime pay taken out of her hands.
She had made a promise to Olivia to get her the latest video game last week. It couldn’t be much, but hopefully it’d be enough to distract her enough from her big sister’s absence. At least, then she might make a friend, having something new to relate to everyone else her age with.
(I PINKIE PROMISE THIS WILL HAVE A GOOD END <3 we have to cheer up our big sister!! to be continued...)
