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@lower-management
Your (least) favourite usurper.
//ooc
This is a role play account for Beelzebub
Every interaction is welcome! my asks are always open to any kind. If something makes you uncomfortable do tell me.
Kind of a pre season 2 where armageddon 2 just wasn't an option.
I'm not a native english speaker so my spelling can suck but it's in character.
Admin: @shitswithoutgiggles
The next demon to walk through the door to annoy me izz becoming maggot food.
From outside the door "Get out of my way!" scuffling "I'm not a DEMON, no! Angel? Well....a bit." more scuffling "I'm a HUMAN!"
"Hello Lord Beelzebub! I came for a visit!"
*They blinked. Then groaned.*
I'm not above changing my former zztatement to all living beingzz.
"Nice to see you too! Err well. Actually. 'You look terrible and the decor is disgusting!'" Soleil rolled their eyes and slowly, non threateningly pulled out a bottle of The Lord's preferred alcohol
I zzee you're getting yourzelf accuzztomed to the place.
*They saw the human taking out the bottle, and wore an expression that was meant to be approving (well, actually, they didn't really mean it to be anything.) but read the same as their usual one.*
The next demon to walk through the door to annoy me izz becoming maggot food.
From outside the door "Get out of my way!" scuffling "I'm not a DEMON, no! Angel? Well....a bit." more scuffling "I'm a HUMAN!"
"Hello Lord Beelzebub! I came for a visit!"
*They blinked. Then groaned.*
I'm not above changing my former zztatement to all living beingzz.
The next demon to walk through the door to annoy me izz becoming maggot food.
Zshit late for the company rebrand. Why are we zztill doing thiz.
Because glitter is fun!
If I have to zzlap a rainbow on one more thing.
Zshit late for the company rebrand. Why are we zztill doing thiz.
SEND IN THE KEVIN!!!
*They ducked, a human (a 'Kevin') getting chucked at the wall behind them and ragdolling onto the floor.*
What in thw actual fuck izz that.
Zztop complaining. Hell izzn't zuppozed to be pleazzant. Go cry about it, the hellhoundz' bowlzz are low on liquid.
Psssssst
I got my own blog, if you care.
Even if you don't, it's still there.
- @pilar-of-creation
Doezz that mean you're gonna be bothering me lezz or more?.
Fanz with holez ztill work if you uzze them to zwat zomeone until they get you a patched up one.
Fanz with holez ztill work if you uzze them to zwat zomeone until they get you a patched up one.
*gives you a paintball gun*
*They looked at the colourful weapon, and furrowed their brows in confusion before aiming and shooting a blob of red paint at the wall.*
Huh.
/as we approach a week where we'll be constantly around 33/34C (91/92F) it's time to start hoping we don't get into the 40s (100s) before school ends
"Why do you keep trying to recruit your friends? Why do you keep offering them jobs?" BECAUSE EARTH OPS PRODUCTIVITY HAS BEEN DOWN ON BOTH SIDES SINCE AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY QUIT. AND THEY'RE CERTAINLY NOT TAKING THEIR JOBS BACK.
What if you alzo let the employeezz you already have actually work, oh your lowlinezz?
They are working, that's the problem. Earth Ops has fallen behind on both sides, and it's very easy to track when the drop-off happened in the numbers. None of them have the same level of imagination, my brother excluded. And he simply doesn't have the same level of experience on Earth as Crowley does.
Izz there nobody to yank by the collar and force into zpecializzing in the pozition?
"Why do you keep trying to recruit your friends? Why do you keep offering them jobs?" BECAUSE EARTH OPS PRODUCTIVITY HAS BEEN DOWN ON BOTH SIDES SINCE AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY QUIT. AND THEY'RE CERTAINLY NOT TAKING THEIR JOBS BACK.
What if you alzo let the employeezz you already have actually work, oh your lowlinezz?
A garter snake slithered forth and offered Beelzebub a small box with a couple acetaminophen pills and some ginger tea inside. Taped on it was a note:
Peace offering
-AJ
- @anthony-j-stands-for-junior
*They slammed their fist on their desk, sending the snake slithering away in fear. Then, they opened the box, recognizing the initials as the ones Crowley used to use.*
What in the actual-
*They blinkes, grabbed the acetaminophen, took it (despite knowing it wouldn't do anything), and just defided they were gonna live with their confusion.*
/continuing from here/
Zigh. Lotzz of thingz tend to not make zzenze here. But that'zz juzt routine.
Mhm! Routine! 😁👍
......sssssssure.
You'd be zzurprized. You're not the oddezzt thing to have appeared, I am more zzo concerned on whether your prezence iz a threat.
Only when provoked.
*They chuckled, actually chuckled, altough it sounded forced and sinister.*
Not whether you are a threat. It'zz abott whether you being here could attract more trouble for uzz.
Don't worry about it, I have a contingency plan.
Which would be? I'm not much a fan of planzz anymore.
*Their tone shifted in a way that let on the presence of past grievances.*
If trouble comes, I will make the trouble leave! 😁👍
You're talking to the Prince of Hell. I have more faith in my own capabilitiezz than in yourz, ezzpecially zince you're here right now running from trouble.
I have it handled. 🛡️🛡️
Your vaguenezz and cockinezz are really doing wonderz for my concernz.
*if the sarcasm in their voice could've slapped the other two in the face, it would have.*
My vagueness is born of concern.🧍🛡️
As for your cockiness-
I've no desire to go on a megalomaniacal rampage, so quit worrying. 🙏🐍
Concern for what? The world won't explode id you let me know more precizzely what the Hell izz going on. I'm not worried about you, I'm worried abot whatever you might bring.
It's not just ourselves we're protecting.
Pilar began to attempt to shush her brother in a comically dramatic fashion.
Afraid I might go after zzomeone elze who'z involved?
Perhaps you. Perhaps someone else.
Perhaps that shifty anon. 🥊👿🥊
For Zatan'zz zake, afraid zzomeone will lizten in on our converzation here? In my office? Then pazz me a note, we certainly don't lack paper, although the penz will give you trouble without doubt.
Only if you promise not to go after the thing we're guarding. Or blab.
Pilar, are you-
Yes.
Unlezz I have reazzon to I don't juzt bother to go hunting down thingz uzually, the good dayz where I had the time to do that are long pazzt.
A garter snake slithered forth and offered Beelzebub a small box with a couple acetaminophen pills and some ginger tea inside. Taped on it was a note:
Peace offering
-AJ
- @anthony-j-stands-for-junior
*They slammed their fist on their desk, sending the snake slithering away in fear. Then, they opened the box, recognizing the initials as the ones Crowley used to use.*
What in the actual-
*They blinkes, grabbed the acetaminophen, took it (despite knowing it wouldn't do anything), and just defided they were gonna live with their confusion.*
/continuing from here/
Zigh. Lotzz of thingz tend to not make zzenze here. But that'zz juzt routine.
Mhm! Routine! 😁👍
......sssssssure.
You'd be zzurprized. You're not the oddezzt thing to have appeared, I am more zzo concerned on whether your prezence iz a threat.
Only when provoked.
*They chuckled, actually chuckled, altough it sounded forced and sinister.*
Not whether you are a threat. It'zz abott whether you being here could attract more trouble for uzz.
Don't worry about it, I have a contingency plan.
Which would be? I'm not much a fan of planzz anymore.
*Their tone shifted in a way that let on the presence of past grievances.*
If trouble comes, I will make the trouble leave! 😁👍
You're talking to the Prince of Hell. I have more faith in my own capabilitiezz than in yourz, ezzpecially zince you're here right now running from trouble.
I have it handled. 🛡️🛡️
Your vaguenezz and cockinezz are really doing wonderz for my concernz.
*if the sarcasm in their voice could've slapped the other two in the face, it would have.*
My vagueness is born of concern.🧍🛡️
As for your cockiness-
I've no desire to go on a megalomaniacal rampage, so quit worrying. 🙏🐍
Concern for what? The world won't explode id you let me know more precizzely what the Hell izz going on. I'm not worried about you, I'm worried abot whatever you might bring.
It's not just ourselves we're protecting.
Pilar began to attempt to shush her brother in a comically dramatic fashion.
Afraid I might go after zzomeone elze who'z involved?
Perhaps you. Perhaps someone else.
Perhaps that shifty anon. 🥊👿🥊
For Zatan'zz zake, afraid zzomeone will lizten in on our converzation here? In my office? Then pazz me a note, we certainly don't lack paper, although the penz will give you trouble without doubt.
