Pomes And Distance

I’m not nearly as in control as I seem.

[fahadaccount]

feeling unwanted changes u a lot, tbh

[lowkeyrose]

Darling, Dearest, Dead;

I am always on the sidelines, always detached from what’s happening around me. Distant, most of times. Basically, i know i came across as a stone-cold. My monster made me feel alone and unwanted. One who could keep me safe and kill the other monsters who wanted to hurt me.

Love,always.

[dead-girls-never-cry]

[ru1nedch1ld]

[closedforgoodbyelol]

[lowkeyrose]

Darling,Dearest,Dead;

I've been so angry lately, and now all that anger has turned into a weary deep misery that I'm not sure what to do with it. My heart aches, my mind is restless, and my body is heavy, so heavy I can barely move.

blood was on my hands and guilt watched me while I slept.I was stuck in the world’s expectations for me. It took years of feeling like a pretty bird in a cage until it all became too much .and I escaped.It’s hard to describe.

Love,always.

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am an observer, but not by choice.’

[text id: i often asked myself / do i want love / or do i want proof that i am loveable?]

[mournfulroses]

Sylvia Plath, from a letter to Aurelia Plath written c. June 1952

[oeut]

“She dreamed about escaping. That was all she dreamed about — escape.”

— Paris, Texas (1984)

[lowkeyrose]

Darling,Dearest, Dead;

"I think I'm pushing people away" "I think people leave because I'm too much and not enough" "I think something fundamentally is broken within me"

I don't think it makes a difference; I think I'm meant for loneliness and I don't know what to do with that.

Love,always.

[darkdisaster6-deactivated202402]

[her-wiings]

Like a moth to a flame..

[lowkeyrose]

Darling,Dearest,Dead;

I want to stop caring, I want to stop thinking about everything all the time. But I care. Oh, do I care. And it's consuming my every waking moment to the point I can barely function.

Love, always.

[puregrief]

I'm all alone in this.

[lowkeyrose]

Darling, Dearest,Dead;

I don't think I know how to connect with someone; how to maintain a semblance of a relationship, how to communicate or verbalise anything. I think I keep pushing people away by creating a distance that I never meant for. I think I locked myself inside a glasshouse.

Love, always.

[disc80s]

i thought my suicidal late teens were the hardest years of my life but nothing could’ve prepared me for my 20s waking up everyday with no purpose, feeling so lost, unable to keep up with friendships, watching everyone move on with relationships and careers and being unable to catch up. and I’m such a “life is not a race” type of person but damn I’m losing so hard rn

[derangedrhythms]

By now I was so cold / it was like burning.

Anne Carson, Glass, Irony, and God; from 'The Glass Essay'