Lucia Constantine Sabo

poet no a čo.

[luciaconstantine]

7. moments of you / 1.

your lightness

on heavy me

I am salty foam struck by a breeze

...I think of our feet

on golden sand

basking in the August heat

and your laughter

in the waves

casting reflections on my skin

noon - burned shoulders

against the blue sea

no time just the sun

forever in my memory

and the white ice cream

was melting

like

me

[luciaconstantine]

7. Malých momentov 1. / 7. Little moments 1.

Všetko ľahko spí

Okrem váhy

Na hrudi mi sedí

Čierny lev

All sleeps faintly

except the weight ~

A black lion

Sits on my chest

[luciaconstantine]

7 songs of hell, the last one

vyfúkol si ma, ako dym z cigarety

....a ja sa len tak rozplývam, každou sekundou som viac a viac priesvitná, zvláštne ľahká, šedo a bez ťažiska, bola som v tvojich pľúcach, tak blízko srdca, srdce v objatí, a predsa nie dosť blízko, zbavil si sa ma a ja teraz letím bez kontroly, ťahavo pomaly, bez hodnoty v prázdnej miestnosti... bola som tvoj nikotín, dosť na pár mesiacov, nie dosť na skutočnú závislosť. Stúpam a verím v neexistujúci pád, čo by rozbil, čo stále cítim v drtivej bolesti. Dym však nepadá a všetko sa len tak ťahá a ťahá a ťahá, a ja upadám pomaly do neviditeľnosti. A všetko tak strašne trvá a trvá a trvá...

[luciaconstantine]

7 songs of hell, 6. Tajné kúpanie

Májové ráno, 10 stupňov a morská voda. Čakám. Dievčenský smiech prichádza vo vlnách z móla. Čakám na teba. Ty moja skrytá neláska, meškáš. Vzduch je slaný a ťažký a vždy prítomný vietor ho odnáša a prináša. S ďalším poryvom privial aj teba.

Moja blúzka. Tvoj sveter. Moje tielko. Tvoje nohavice. Moja sukňa. Tvoje nohy sú už vo vode. Smiech sa mieša s ranným spevom vtákov.

Skočila som do vody. Jej zelený chlad objal telo horúce srdcom. Ty sa držíš móla, ale dlho sa neudržíš. Vieš to ty a viem to ja. Tak plávaj.

Vonku na brehu pod sukňou nemám nič, len tvoj pohľad. Pod sukňou nechcem mať nič len teba. Pod sukňou ťa držím tichým mystériom života. Nepomôžeš si.

Kvapky vody na mojej koži sa lesknú v skorom slnku, keď sa nakláňam nad morskou vodou, ždímajúc plavky krátkeho zážitku v ľadových rukách. V bode mrazu sa telo vzoprie a chce žiť.

Otočím sa. Tvoje oči farby bornholmského rána mi vravia poď. Ešte nikdy nepovedali nič iné a ja som nikdy nepovedala nie.

[luciaconstantine]

[luciaconstantine]

7 songs of hell, 4 and love

Holding my love tightly, I go through seven circles of hell.

On my way I meet the white monumental abstract statue of your shirt, mounting over me in its bizarre size. White fabric, white horizons… All frozen, all glossy, covering what could be but isn't. There is the pain of winter in my hands that release thoughts into the white field with no direction.

Within me lies the second circle. My companion, the crucified bird that still lives in my chest. It starts singing songs disturbing my sleep. I open my eyes to the darkness. The bird slowly breathes into the silence. It sings so… my bones are cracking.

The third circle of hell chokes me like a bad lover. Reflection of myself on the shiny surface creates a mad partner. Both of us think of you. The bird shakes its wings. An icicle crushes to the ground. Pulling my mad partner by the hair, I hold us down, step on our neck, and forbid us to feel and cry.

The fourth circle is all around me holding me by my hands and feet. My mind shows me your face in still pictures, one by one, by one, by one. My body wants you profoundly. Profound is my loneliness.

Crawling into the fifth circle - I am all fog. Spreading stretching everywhere, vastness. I am embracing everything which is nothing, full of emptiness, empty of fullness. I am the fog that surrounds the frozen statue of your shape, the bird is fog too, and the bird finally dies.

I am in love, the sixth circle of hell.

There is the last spark in my chest, that remained from the bird's nest.

I dare to walk to the seventh.

I dare to walk to the seventh.

I dare to walk to the seventh.

I see you there. I come to you. As I look at you I become you. Your pain is my pain. I look at my hands which are your hands, I sit in a cage with a door opened. I am never good enough I was born this way. I believe to disappoint is in my blood. I blame myself I blame myself I deserve to live a lie. The cage of guilt locks me fairly down. Looking out through the bars of shame I see myself, and you are me. And you feel what I feel, I don't deserve to be truly loved.

[luciaconstantine]

Seven songs of hell, 5

When the night falls it is our time,

when the night falls it is our time.

Under the cloak of invisibility that carries colours of my mind, I sneak out into the darkest hour of the poets, right before the dusk. Everything is asleep, but not quite.

And there you are standing still, year after year I can’t count, nothing can move you nor heat nor wind, nor winter rains pushing against your will. Strong enough but not quite.

There is a rhythm to this night. I come as a wave, of the sea that is calm and wild. I flood everything, raise the depths and make it watery and dark, soft and harsh, I am everywhere, but just not quite.

You stand in the middle of this biblical flood.

We pull the moon down from the sky and drown it in this strange reign we created to love. Its silver haze is now in the middle of my life, shining softly upon the red bricks of your divided heart.

Right before the dusk, It could be all in all, but it is just not quite.

[luciaconstantine]

7 songs of hell, 3.

we are going to burn in hell

the kiss of fever

is your love

my face is set ablaze

I am choking on my heartbeat

tight pleasure

is clutching me by my wrists

and I am drowning

in hot blood all over my body

I am the color, red

I am locking your lips

I wish I could breath you in

like the coolest air

then I would never let you out

I would suffocate with you in me

I am suffocating with you in me

we are going to burn in hell

[luciaconstantine]

7 songs of hell, 2.

there is a crucified bird in my chest

how lovely are its colours, green and red

shiny, strong, playful they almost seem to be

resting on the bird's tilted head

a little tender beak

how lovely it would sing

but it is almost dead

spread out wings

nailed to be motionless,

long slender feathers

that can not tremble in the wind

how horrendous and beatiful

that there is this bird in my chest

[luciaconstantine]

7 SONGS OF THE EVENING, 7TH. THE LAST

Why would I sing a song,

when there is no blue sky

above clouds.

When there is no sun and no moon

to spark the hot inspiration.

I don’t want to sing

about you.

There is no rain with a smell of hope,

just a drizzle

and freezing coldness.

And the ice does not crack heartbreakingly,

it just locks lost souls beneath.

I won’t sing about you.

I won’t sing, I wont hum,

I don’t have the time

to have fun with the notes,

they were under the lockdown for too long.

No echo of love,

no shadow of a touch,

and no smell of your hair

lingers when I say your name.

I won’t think about

your voice and heavy words

covered by dust of years,

how you look and how you move...

Oh no

I won’t sing.

Why would I sing a song,

when there is nothing to sing for.

No feelings, just a vacuum 

And the non existing blow

of your love.

I won’t sing about you.

[luciaconstantine]

7 Songs of Hell, 1.

Sme spolu dokonalí/ý skutok | lásky či vášne

A na ako dlho? ti bije srdce tak prudko

Všetko sa raz zastaví, aj prúd krvi, aj vzdych bude posledný

Čo si budeme pamätať,

kto si bude pamätať?

[luciaconstantine]

When the room talks to you, lockdown

We improvised music and I added some electronics 

J. Lagodzinski saxophone

K. Reid reads my poem

[luciaconstantine]

odchod

možno ma tu niečo trávi

občas to cítim a potom nie

zdvihnutie hrudníka po klesnutí

ma volá bližšie k ironickej

otrave chuti.

ešte niekoľko dní

a mrak zanechám na dreve 

dlažby, ktorá to prežije.

vtieravá, bielo nudná vôňa 

hlboko v mozgu čosi reve

niečo, čo má byť a nie je.

plieskavé, rozmazané, štiplavé a udýchané, valiace sa kamene medzi pľúcami, tri krabice a do steny vrytá básnička ostáva v tom opare.

[luciaconstantine]

7 Songs of the evening, 6.

lost my wallet

in norrebro bazar

lost it all

I am no one

No number

No picture

No possessions

No one in the street and on the bridge

Only the wind knows

I am here

[luciaconstantine]

7 songs of the evening, 5

much love

making me mildly faint

unexpected dreams unify

cheers

to: much love

in much love we veritas

let me lose it all

over omnipotent overdose

of much love

[luciaconstantine]

7 songs of the evening, 4

so much love so much love so much so much love so much so so love so much love so much love so much love love love so love so much love so so love much love much so so love love love much love so much love so much love love so much so so so love so love so so so love so so so so so

[luciaconstantine]

7 songs of the evening, 3

don’t think of the demon

let it sleep in the place

deep and far

it has eyes big as plates

that will eat you alive

no face just a shape

of childhood cries

and teeth sharp as shreds

of the queen’s broken mirror

that in the forgotten castle lies