Lucille Mather

Lucille Mather. 26. Secretary at Marks Productions. Be the one that makes them turn heads.

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

"If that’s true," he said softly, "maybe one day I’ll see it too… but I don’t see it right now. I don’t understand it or believe it… All the same, I’m still taking advantage of the benefit of you believing it. I’m a selfish man, Lucy. I wouldn’t give this up for anything."

He embraced her, closing his eyes, letting the warmth of her body seep into his. Things were far from ideal, and he doubted they’d ever get to the point where he could say that they were ideal, but… this was enough. For now, this was more than enough. “I’ll make breakfast,” he said. “Flapjacks and maybe bacon if we have some. I need to be at work in a couple of hours, but until then, let’s just pick up where we left off last night, all right? The good part, that is.”

[lucille-mather]

"I'm selfish too and I don't want you to give me up. I want to be yours forever." She hadn't felt this way since the man she thought she was in love with left her all those years ago. She hoped this was different. She wanted it to be different. She felt heard her stomach growl at the mention of food and she smiled and nodded her head. 

"I think we need something normal in our lives, something steady to keep us present. Especially recently with everything that has been going on. I think about you a lot and how I've been happier since you've been in my life." She leaned against the counter as he began to make breakfast. 

"I sometimes wonder what it would be like if we could just run away from this place because there seems to be so much negative energy in this town. I'm ready for a fresh start." 

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

He shook his head, moving into her space, just wrapping an arm around her, grateful to have her close. “I’m not hungry, thank you,” he said, voice tiny and a bit hoarse. He didn’t know if he’d ever be hungry again. The images that had been pulled forward from the back of his mind last night were still vivid in his head, still making him nauseous. He buried his face into her hair, breathing in the soft, flowery scent, letting it soothe him a little.

"I do need to apologize," he said after a moment. "That is… that is who I am, and even if you believe there’s nothing wrong with it, I still shouldn’t have laid all of that on you. It’s hard enough to carry on my own. You shouldn’t have to suffer with it too, Lucy. Thank you for being here…. for still being here, even after all of that. I don’t deserve it, I really don’t, even if you think I do.”

[lucille-mather]

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than right here, " she said, burying her face into his neck. "You make me happy, even on my darkest days." And recently those days seemed to be frequent but when she thought of Robert..

It was like this weight would lift off her shoulders and everything felt right in the world. "I don't know if it's possible to not be happy when I'm around you. I know you think it is and I know you think you aren't good enough but Robert, there is so much good in you." She pressed her lips to his cheek and let me linger for a moment.

"From the moment we met I knew there was something special about you. I am loving finding out what that special thing is." 

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

When Robert woke, he felt like his whole body was weighted down to the bed. He didn’t dare move for several minutes, staring at the empty wall while the heaviness and numbness subsided a little. He wondered if it would ever go away completely, but considering how long he’d been living with it, he suspected probably not.

He sat up slowly, rubbing his hand over his aching leg, then dug a flask out from his drawer and took a swallow to take the edge off of the morning. He could remember everything that had happened last night, but he didn’t want to dwell on it. Lucille wasn’t next to him, so perhaps s he’d realized what insanity it was to even be here after that disaster.

That was why he was so surprised when he limped out of his room to find her there, gazing out the window with coffee like she was home. It flooded him with relief while simultaneously making his heart ache. How could she have such dedication to a man like himself?

"I… I feel like I should apologize… and try to offer up some sort of explanation… but I don’t really know what to say," he said softly.

[lucille-mather]

The sound of a voice penetrating the silence made her jump but once she realized it was Robert she smiled and made her way over to him. "I don't think there is anything to apologize for. You are who you are and there is nothing wrong with that. I love who you are and that's all that matters to me," she said, grabbing his hand. 

She wasn't going to lie to herself and not think that last night wasn't a hard night, but they had also gained so much ground from what happened that it completely counteracted it. "I made some coffee because that's about the only thing I know how to make," she said sheepishly, "but I can probably make some toast or eggs if you want me to." 

It wasn't anything gourmet that she was offering, because let's face it, gourmet wasn't a word in her vocabulary but she wanted to try and show him that she could possibly do something on her own. Even if the effort would end up as a failure. 

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

The craziest thing about all of it was that he believed her. He knew she was telling the truth when she said she was going to stay as long as he wanted, and part of him wanted to tell her no. He wanted to tell her that it wasn’t safe to give herself to him so freely, that he was selfish and he’d take all she had if she let him… but he didn’t have the strength to face things alone now, so he’d say nothing.

Instead he just pulled her close, burying his face against her, shielding himself from the world. He relaxed in increments, the tension leaving piece after piece of his body until he was softer, his breathing more even. He’d never held a girl like this, he thought, but there were a lot of things he’d never done that he was doing tonight. It definitely wasn’t a good first date, but for her to still be here and interested, he must have done something right.

"Just stay here tonight," he mumbled, voice far off as sleep tugged at him. "We can talk about it more in the morning."

[lucille-mather]

When she woke up in the morning she had to take a moment to remember where she was, but once she realized she was at Robert's she felt more at ease. It had been a while since she had woken up somewhere besides her own home. There was one time she had stayed over at Robert's before but that seemed so long ago. 

She got up quietly, not wanting to disturb Robert and  walked silently into the kitchen afraid that Thomas was here. The last thing they needed was for Thomas to know Robert had a girl sleep over, not that it would affect her much but she knew how Robert would feel. 

She turned on the coffee pot and began to make a pot of coffee. As she waited, she leaned against the counter and thought about the night before. She cringed when she let the images of what happened in the park creep into her mind so she tried to push them away with happier thoughts. 

But there weren't many happy thoughts from last night; there was a lot of crying and holding each other, but he told her he loved her..

And that was what mattered the most. She grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured herself a cup of coffee. She didn't want to wake Robert but figured he would be up soon so she made her way over to the window, small and dusty as it was, and gazed out. She hoped today was a better day. 

[lucille-mather]

Looking Forward: A Lifetime of Happiness (Sort of)

Robert and Lucille get married in 1953 at an outdoor wedding in front of a few friends and whatever family (mainly distant) they have left. Lucille couldn't be happier being married to Robert though she knows life with him won't be easy. 

She deals with his episodes frequently but she learns to deal with it because she loves him more than anything and would do anything for him. Two months after the wedding she finds out she's pregnant and she couldn't be more ecstatic. When the baby comes, they name her Ginger Rose Winters. 

Life is going great until one day she comes home to find that Robert is drinking more heavily than usual. While she was pregnant, he did really well but once the baby was born she noticed changes in his patterns and began to worry. In 1954 they relocate to the east coast hoping to get away from the pain that Los Angeles holds against them. Lucille finds out she is pregnant again and when the baby is born, they name him Maxwell Robert Winters. 

Lucille gets a job at a small business and raising two kids practically by herself begins to take a toll on her. She tries to hang in there for the children and she wants to support and help Robert but things get too difficult and one morning, she takes the kids and heads to the midwest. It wasn't what she wanted. God, it was the last thing she wanted but she wanted the best life possible for her children. 

She never meets any other men because she still loves Robert and once the kids are old enough, she tells them their father died in a car accident because she thinks it easier than telling them the truth. 

But when they find out that he's still alive they begin to resent her and she doesn't talk to them for several years. 

She dies alone in her home at the age of 75. 

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

Robert let out a huff, a humorless laugh. “No one’s ever loved me either… I was beginning to think I was unlovable. No one wants to be around an angry, broken man… You should have cut and run as soon as you met me, yet here you are… How can I not love that person? How can I…?”

He kissed her again and then just pressed his face into her neck, inhaling her gentle scent, his arm looped around her to ground him to reality. It was so much better than looking out at the tiny room, than remembering the smell of gun powder and blood.

"You shouldn’t love a man like me, Lucy. I’m just gonna hurt you some day… I know that. I’ve hurt everyone I have ever cared about… but if you’ll stay just a while, I will gladly let you… and when you’re ready to go somewhere else, to find someone else that will treat you better, then I will gladly let you. I just… I need you right now, and I know that’s selfish, but I never said I wasn’t selfish… I’m sorry."

[lucille-mather]

Lucille ran her fingers through his hair and placed a kiss on his head every so often. She was glad that he understood where she was coming from. Sometimes she would be with her friends and she would tell them how she had never truly been loved and they would just laugh at her as if she hadn't lived a full life. 

It's not that she had never been in love, but the feelings were never reciprocated and sometimes that was worse. "I don't want to leave if you don't want me to. If there ever comes a day that you aren't happy anymore, then I'll go, but I plan on sticking with you through thick and thin, okay?" 

She never understood how someone could leave when things got too tough to handle. She watched parents leave their children and she watched husbands leave their wives for another woman and she could never wrap her mind around the fact that just because things weren't going the way they wanted it to, they could leave everything they once knew. 

"I want to make you happy and whatever that takes, however long it takes, I will be here. I might be here longer than you want me to, but I'm not going anywhere." 

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

Robert just closed his eyes, letting out a slow breath. He didn’t understand why she would want so much to be there with him, why she could look past all of the torturous things constantly weighing on his mind and all of the heartache inside of him. He’d never be whole again, and he knew that. He’d never be well. These thoughts would follow him to the grave. He would never stop feeling guilty for being the only one to live, especially when he had been the only person with nothing to come home to at the time. 

Having her here right now made it a little easier… but he didn’t feel right for laying all of his troubles on her. She had taken it in stride… but his suffering was his own cross to bear. How could she want to stay? How could she take it all in and still talk about him like he was a good person?

"You’re foolish for staying here," he said softly, then let a kiss brush against the top of her head, "and I love you for that."

[lucille-mather]

Lucille could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and she wanted to try and hide them but knew there was no reason to. All she could do was place a soft kiss on his lips before the tears ran down her face. 

Love. 

He loved her.

He loved her for staying with him and she loved that he said that. She loved that he said the word period. The last time someone had loved her was beyond her memories. She thought back to her high school boyfriend and how she had thought that was love, but it ended up being a fling. 

Then she thought about the man she thought she was going to spend forever with, the one who she rarely talked about, the one who she had planned on coming home to one night only to find all of his things gone. She was going to tell him she was ready to marry him, that she was ready to travel the world with him. 

Her mind then turned to her father who loved her but in a different way than she knew Robert loved her and how her father's love was the only real love she had ever felt until now. 

She wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled up at him. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure why I'm crying. I just have never had anyone.. love me before."

"And for that reason, along with many others, I love you." 

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

He didn’t feel proud of himself for the things he’d endured. There had been days he’d wanted to give up, and he was sure there would be more of them. He didn’t know how long he would actually survive like this, even if it was a little easier to bear at the moment now that someone else could share in his misery… but it wasn’t fair to bring her into all of this. He was angry that he’d even said anything.

…but then her hand was on his, squeezing gently, reminding him that she was here and he was here and everything was not necessarily okay but still functioning. She asked to stay, and Robert could have cried again because there was nothing he wanted more than to not be alone right now.

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze back, and said softly, “Please stay… at least for a while.”

[lucille-mather]

Lucille removed her shoes and made her way into the bed and settled under the covers. She was glad he said she could stay and she wondered what she would have done if he had said no. Going back to her place wasn't on the top of her list but she didn't have anywhere else to go. Her friends in this town were minimal and even the ones she did have she wasn't close enough to ask if she could stay the night. 

She rolled her body over so that she was facing Robert and smiled gently. "I will stay for as long as you want me to. I want to be here for you however you want me to be. I want you to have someone who you can come to when things get tough and I want you to feel as if someone is there supporting you, no matter what it is you are going through."

She didn't want him to feel alone and she knew in such a big world it was easy to feel small and helpless. That was something she hoped she could help him with. She settled her head on his shoulder and looked up at the ceiling. It had a few cracks in it and the paint was chipping away but she liked how it gave the place character. "I want to be here for you always." 

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

He felt terrible for how the night had ended up, but he didn’t have the strength in himself to argue going to bed now. He doubted he’d sleep for a bit, just because all of those horrible images were still fresh in his mind, sending phantom pain down his leg, but lying down would probably be preferable to the old sofa. He got slowly to his feet, leaning heavily on her since he didn’t have his cane, and he let her help him to bed.

The room didn’t feel quite as small now, or at least not as heavy. He still left the light on though, even as he slumped down onto the mattress, elevating his leg with a pillow. He had expected her to leave as soon as he had laid down, and yet she lingered, perhaps out of guilt, perhaps because she was worried about him. He even thought that maybe she wanted to stay, despite it all. He didn’t dare ask for fear of being wrong.

"Sorry about the movie… I’ll make it up to you. Probably not right away, but… once I get a new cane, save some more money. We can go to see one."

[lucille-mather]

Once he got settled, she stood at the foot of the bed not quite sure what do next. She didn't want to be a bother and she knew he was tired but she didn't want to leave him alone and she didn't want to go back to her place. But was asking if she could stay rude? "Don't be sorry. I still had a great night despite what happened.." She let her words hang in the air for a while, still trying to digest the events of the night herself. 

She moved to the side of the bed and sat on the edge, grabbing his hand. "I think you're one of the strongest people I know. Most people couldn't go through what you went through and still be living and I know you struggle, but most people just give up. You haven't given up and that's something to be proud of." 

She glanced down at their intertwined hands and she could feel her heart in her chest. It seemed that every time she was near him, holding his hand, her heart was out of control. "Would you mind if I stayed? I don't want to be alone and I don't think you do either," she asked, her eyes flashing up to meet his. 

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

Robert couldn’t speak further. All he could do was cry and be held. It felt so pathetic, but it was also a long time coming. He didn’t realize just how much it had built up inside of him until he’d put a hole in that wall. It was a miracle that the whole thing didn’t come toppling down, really, but he suspected Lucille’s presence had a lot to do with that. She was holding him together, if only barely.

He didn’t know how long he laid there like that, sobbing quietly in her arms, but when it was over he felt absolutely drained. The apartment felt bigger than it ever had though, like the oppressive air within the walls had lifted. Everything was different now… but he wasn’t sure what that meant just yet. He sniffed, reaching a hand up to wipe at his tear-stained cheeks, finally lifted his head from her shoulder.

"I never… told that to anyone before," he mumbled, suddenly uncomfortable. It all felt so personal, felt like he’d revealed too much. He couldn’t believe she was still here after all of that.

[lucille-mather]

She felt her chest tighten as he told her that she was the first one to know what had happened. The tightness was a good feeling, as if she had broken down a wall that Robert had tried so hard to keep together, but at the same time, she knew he was feeling vulnerable. "Well thank you. I appreciate you being able to open up to me. It means a lot." She placed a kiss on his cheek then glanced at the clock. 

It was 9 o'clock, but she knew Robert was tired. She thought back on how she imagined the night would go. She had been so nervous before he picked her up, her stomach feeling as if it might crawl up her throat. Then once they were at the diner, she felt much more at ease and the tingling sensation she felt in her stomach was a happy one that made her feel all warm and giddy inside. She thought about how loud her heart had been and how quiet it was now. 

She thought about the movie they were supposed to go see and how they never made it that far but that was okay. She knew they weren't missing much and even though it was a sad story, she would much rather listen to Robert talk. "Let me help you to your room, you seem pretty worn out." 

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

"I… I laid there for a while. My leg was mangled beyond use. I couldn’t do anything… My friend, he was… He was only a short distance from me, and his hand was reaching out, like he’d been reaching for me… I can still remember his eyes. They were open, fuck… there… there was nothing to that gaze. I saw those eyes on the living people at the camps, I… God, the camps…”

He was starting to shiver, but he tried to push on. He’d gotten too far into it now. There was no point in backtracking. 

Still, he didn’t have to linger on the description.

"Eventually, I got up enough strength to crawl through the mud until I reached someone with a radio. I called for help, and I waited. Eventually someone found me. I don’t know how long it took. I was in and out of consciousness… I was so lucky that I was conscious when they got there or they might have just thrown me in with the other bodies… After that I was taken to a hospital, I was given some medals, I was discharged, and I was sent home."

It all sounded so heartless, he realized. All of those lives gone, but because he survived it he was rewarded. A prize for not being dead. A prize for being able to tell the names of the men lost so that their family could know. A prize for being able to recount the experience but to stop none of it.

He dropped his head into his hands, devastation rolling over him like a wave. He momentarily felt like he was drowning in it, and he welcomed it. Anything to wash away the memories.

[lucille-mather]

All she could do was shake her head, but when his head fell into his hands, she wrapped her arms around his body and pulled him into her. She felt bad for making him recount the story, knowing that it was hard for him. But she was glad he told her, glad that she got to know a part of him that he hid away. The part that made him who he truly was. 

"None of it was your fault and I hope you don't think that. There was nothing you could have done and as for tonight, you were brave." She kissed the top of his head, running her hands through his hair. She wanted to comfort him because she understood pain and loss. 

When the news of her father came, it shook her to the core and for a long time she had to keep it bottled up inside for her mother's sake but the moment it all came out, it was like a wave washing over her. But she learned that the pain was a way of healing. People cannot heal from heartbreak without feeling the pain first. 

She wiped the tears from her eyes before she even knew what she was doing. "You're a great person, Robert. Don't you ever forget that."

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

He would have laughed if he didn’t feel like crying. “I don’t know… It gets set off randomly. I’ll hear a loud sound or something unexpected will happen, and suddenly I just… I leave myself. I go back there, overseas. Suddenly I’m just lying on the ground with a mangled leg and…”

Surrounded by all of my dead friends.

He let out a shaky breath, blinking back the onslaught of tears that came with the thought. He closed his eyes and tried to will the image out of his head, but it didn’t work. It never did… so maybe it was time to try something different. After all, it wasn’t like he hadn’t already ruined everything. He might as well explain some things.

He wiped at his eyes, shook his head. “My… unit… my brothers. We fought side by side together… and it wasn’t easy. There were horrors you could never imagine, horrors you’d never want to imagine that we saw. If it weren’t for each other, I don’t know if we would have made it through the nightmares alone… but to have someone there that experienced it with us, it made it… well, it made us able to keep taking it one day at a time. It made us want to keep fighting for the people that we saw, the things… the horrible violations we witnessed. They needed our help, and we were willing to go on because we had each other.”

He swallowed hard around the knot in his throat that threatened to silence his voice. He couldn’t look at her while he said any of it or he was certain he wouldn’t be able to finish. “My unit came under fire unexpectedly. We weren’t prepared… the whole brigade was just… wiped out. Every single one… except me.”

[lucille-mather]

Lucille recalled when they were standing in the alleyway and a police car drove by with their sirens going and how Robert had fallen to the ground. She hadn't known at the time it was war related. 

She listened as he launched into a story of the war and she sat and listened, nodding her head occassionally. She wasn't sure what else she could do but be there for him. Every now and then, when he would squeeze his eyes shut she would squeeze his hand gently, letting him know she was there and that it was all right to continue. 

When he finished talking, she didn't know what to say. What do you say to someone who has been through tragedy, who watched his unit come under attack and then be the lone survivor? How does someone live knowing they were spared when everyone else wasn't? 

"I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what it was like, how you made it through." They sat in silence for a few moments. Lucille was running back through the story in her head, catching little details here and there, trying to picture it in her head. 

"What did you do next?"

What does one do when they are in the middle of a war field by themselves?

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

He didn’t want to talk about it, not even a little, but she certainly was owed some sort of explanation at this point. She could have left him there in the park alone, after all, but she’d helped him back here. She should have been terrified of him, but she’d taken him home.

God, how was he supposed to start though?

He dropped his head into his hands, letting out a shaky exhale. He felt like he might burst into tears at any second, but the last thing she needed was for him to fall apart in front of her again. He figured he might as well start with the obvious. “I’m… so sorry…” he said, hating the wobbly tone to his voice. “I’m sorry, I… I ruined everything. I don’t know why you’re even still here…”

He lifted his head, taking the glass of water, wondering if it would be out of place to ask for something stronger.

"He… he had a gun, and I… I panicked. I… I went out of my head for a minute. It… it happens to me sometimes…" He paused, pursing his lips, and admitted, "It happens to me… a lot…"

[lucille-mather]

She shook her head and set her mouth into a hard line. "Listen to me. Don't you ever apolgize. It is not your fault, you cannot control what happened to you during the war or now." She never saw side effects of the war first hand until now but she had heard the stories. Some men were put into hospitals because it was so bad. 

"I never for one second thought about leaving. Yes, I was slightly terrified when it happened, I wasn't sure what to do. But leaving? I would never had left you there to fend for yourself." It kind of upset her to think that he would even insinuate that she would up and leave him at the first sign of struggle. Her father taught her better than that. 

She continued to listen, nodding her head every once in a while. He drank his water and when he ran out she went to refill his glass. Her eye caught the bottle of whiskey sitting on the counter and figured he would much prefer that to water, but she needed him to have a clear head. "How often does this happen?" 

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

What happened?

If only it was so simple. He didn’t even know where to begin. Anything he thought to say died on his lips before a sound could be made. He just had to focus on her hand on his, a reminder that he wasn’t back there on the battlefield. She would never be in a place like that. They were safe…

Safe, you’re safe, you’re safe.

He got to his feet, but his leg immediately made an attempt to give out from under him. He had to lean on her to keep from falling down. He wished he could escape this nightmare, but there was no chance he could get home in the state he was in right now.

"I’m sorry," he finally managed to say. He didn’t even feel like he sounded like himself, instead feeling like a small, scared child. "Please… can… can you take me home?"

[lucille-mather]

Lucille respected his wishes and helped him up off the ground. It was going to be struggle getting to his place without the use of his cane and she was a small person. She let him wrap his arms around her and she wrapped her arms around his waist and began the slow walk back to his place. 

Obviously she wanted answers now, but she figured she could wait until they were in the comfort of his own home and even then she didn't know if he wanted to talk about it. She couldn't help but think about how the night was going so well and then this happened..

She let out a breath of relief as they reached his door. She guided him inside of the apartment and over to the couch where she sat him down, then proceeded to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Setting the glass of water down in front of him, she sat next to him on the couch. She wasn't sure if she should stay or go, not quite sure if he wanted company when he was feeling like this. 

"Do you.. do you want to talk about it?"

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

Robert nodded, smiling warmly before leaving the money for the check. He let Lucille get up first and followed behind her, not wanting to slow her down with his limp. Everything was going so swimmingly that he sort of wanted it to end now, just because he didn’t want to mess it up. At the same time though, he was happier than he had been in a long time, and wanted to make it last as much as possible.

The park was nearly empty this time of day, especially since it was winter (even if the winters in California were fairly mild). He preferred it this way, since people tended to make him uncomfortable if he didn’t know them.

He just walked by Lucy’s side in companionable silence, enjoying the serenity of it all. He even took a risk by reaching out the hand unoccupied by his cane and taking hers, feeling actually giddy when she didn’t pull away. He was on an actual date, and it was going well. He’d never thought himself so capable.

He supposed that was why he should have expected it to all come crashing down on him.

When the man approached them, head down, shoulders hunched, Robert was instantly on alert. He never trusted anyone these days, but the posture was sending up red flags instantly. Before he could steer them clear of the man, however, he’d pulled out a pistol and pointed it at them, demanding that Robert hand over all of his money.

He didn’t… really remember what happened after that.

The next thing he knew the man was on the ground, bloodied, and Robert was swinging his cane at him and screaming. It certainly didn’t look like any sort of heroic scene, even if he had saved the day. He remembered Lucy was there just as the cane snapped in two, and he suspected she would be terrified.

Robert dropped the broken end of the cane, eyes wide, breath shaky, and he watched the man scramble and stumble away, pistol left behind. Robert checked it— no bullets.

He fell to his knees, feeling on the verge of panic. He couldn’t run away with his leg the way it was, but he couldn’t just… stay here…

[lucille-mather]

It all happened so fast, Lucille didn't have time to register what was happening. Of course she saw the guy walking towards them, head down, hands in pockets and she was slightly suspcious but she was used to people like that coming from the Las Vegas area. It wasn't until Robert swung the cane that she let words escape her lips and all she did was yell, "Help! Robert, no, stop!" over and over again. 

For a brief moment his eyes flashed to hers and they were different. Darker. It was like the man who she had been sitting across from for the past hour had left the person who was in front of her, swinging his cane, beating the man to the ground. 

As the commotion stopped and the man didn't move for a few moments, she let out a few shaky breaths. She couldn't move, couldn't do much really except for breath because that was the only function she could physically do without much effort. The man stood up so fast as Robert fell to the ground. She let her eyes follow the man as he left the park, not once looking back. 

Lucille carefully sank to the ground next to Robert. She didn't realize her hands were shaking until she reached out a hand for him and gently placed it on his arm. "Robert.." She couldn't say much of anything, nor did she know what to say. She had never seen something like this from him and she wasn't quite sure what caused it. 

Yes, she knew he had problems after the war and she had never pushed the subject, but she wondered if now was a good time. An elderly man and woman walked past them as they sat on the ground, stopping only to ask if everything was all right. 

She could only nod her head and they moved on, confused looks on their faces. Robert wasn't saying anything, moving really at all and she was afraid to move too much, afraid it might trigger something else. She ran a hand through his hair, then wrapped her hand around his. "Robert.." She cleared her throat, taking another deep breath. "What happened?" 

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

"I don’t know, I’ve never been much of a baker," Robert said sheepishly. "It’s sort of different from cooking… I don’t know, maybe I just don’t have the patience for it. I’ve found that baking takes a lot of work, and one mistake can turn your dessert into a disaster. I’d still like to learn, but… well, I mean, my mother always told me that cooking and baking especially was women’s work, so I guess I never pursued it that far."

He looked out the window, grateful for the change of subject when he’d focused too much on his relationship with his mother. He was sure that wasn’t something Lucille wanted to hear about. “I really don’t see Warren that much, to be honest. He’s usually too busy doing other things I guess, so I just become familiar with his signature. As long as he pays me, it doesn’t really matter, I guess.”

He grinned all the same though, at the mention of the restaurant. “I told you this place was delicious… but you might find, if you go into some of these hidden away places, you’ll find good food almost anywhere. I’d love to have a place like this one day, making my own food… but I don’t think I have the self control to do it. My mind isn’t exactly in the right place for business. The place would go up in flames within the week.”

[lucille-mather]

"People have to be the leader of change though. Women are seen as the cooks of a family, but I can't touch a stove without almost catching my house on fire. People look down on me for it, but it's just not something I was gifted with. But if you find that it's something you enjoy, pursue it. Plus, I think you're food is delicious." She smiled over at him, grateful that he had loosened up more since they first sat down. She didn't want him to be uncomfortable around her because she was more than comfortable around him. 

"Working for the mayor could open a lot of doors for you. I don't know if that is necessarily something you want to go after but if it was, you could get far. I always hoped working for Mr. Marks would open doors for me, but so far it hasn't. I'm starting to lose hope." She glanced down at the table, then back at Robert. 

"My dad used to own a little shop in my hometown before he was sent off to war. I always loved going in and helping him out. When I'm older, I want to open something up like that but more along the lines of a flower store. That would be great. It's just something you have to set your mind to." She looked out the window. The sun was setting and the streets were fairly quiet. "Would you like to head to park? I'm dying for some fresh air." 

[robert-winters]

How Loud Your Heart Gets || Robert and Lucille

[robert-winters]

"Oh, no, ma’am," he said, grinning a bit wider. "You’re not leaving here without tasting the best apple pie in town." He motioned to the waitress and ordered two slices, thanking her as she headed off. "The cherry is good too, but nothing beats a warm slice of apple pie. I guarantee you won’t regret it."

He was feeling a little braver now, though he wouldn’t say he was 100% confident. She had heard the things said about him though, and she was still here and enjoying herself (or at least that was what she had said so he hoped she was being truthful), and so he’d take what he could get. 

The desserts arrived at the table quickly, and he thanked the server again, asking for her to fetch the check for them in the meantime. He took his time cutting into the pie with the side of his fork, however, wanting to savor the first bite. “I tell you, if I could figure out how to make a pie better than this one, I wouldn’t need to work for the mayor anymore.”

[lucille-mather]

As soon as the pie was put in front of her, she cut a piece off with her fork and took a bite. Apple pie was her absolute favorite and if she was being honest, she had been eyeing it since they walked in. She believed him when he said it was the best apple pie in town. It melted in your mouth and the flavor was out of this world. 

"I'm sure you could get pretty close to this. I don't know much about cooking, but my mom always said that the best thing to do with pie is let the crust set out for a couple of hours in the sun or any place warm really. It makes it nice and soft." She shrugged her shoulders and took another bite. "Who knows if it works or not. She always did make good pies though."

"Speaking of working for the mayor, how is that going? I don't hear much about him usually, but he seems like a nice man, intelligent too." She had a few run-ins with him. He occassionally swung by the studio to see Mr. Marks but he said less than two words to her. She was just a secretary after all. She was happy that Robert found a way to work on his own and not have to rely on his brother for money anymore. She knew that it was hard for him not being independent. 

"I think you have found the best place in town to eat."