SNATCH (2000) SENTENCE STARTERS.
You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.
I’m taking the dog for a walk.
Do you know what ‘nemesis’ means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an ‘orrible cunt: me.
It was two minutes five minutes ago.
You are obviously the big dick.
There are two types of balls. There are big, brave balls and there are little, mincey balls.
These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever.
They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action.
You got your parties muddled up. There’s no pussy here, just a dose that’ll make you wish you were born a woman.
Like a prick, you’re having second thoughts.
You are shrinking and your two little balls are shrinking with you.
The fact you’ve got ‘replica’ written down the side of your guns and the fact I’ve got ‘Desert Eagle point five 0’ written down the side of mine should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence.
Why do they call him the bullet-dodger?
Your seats? This is a stolen car, mate.
In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary… come again?
It’s a four ton truck. It’s not as if it’s a packet of fucking peanuts, is it?
When you reverse, things come from behind you.
I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from?
You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.
You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece.
Apparently, the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it together.
Would someone mind telling me, who the fuck are you?
I hear the best thing to do is feed corpses to pigs. They will go through bone like butter.
A single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression: ‘as greedy as a pig’.
Well, thank you for that. That is a great weight off my mind.
If you wouldn’t mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?
Shut up and sit down, you big, bald fuck.
I hope you appreciate the concern I have for my friend.
I’m not sure about the colour.
You can’t change fighters.
Too tight? You could land a jumbo fucking jet in that.
He tells people he was named after a gun, but I know he was really named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.
There’s a gun in your trousers. What’s a gun doing in your trousers?
It’s a free country, ain’t it?
It ain’t a free shop, is it? So fuck off!
You stop me again whilst I’m walking and I’ll cut your fucking Jacobs off.
What the fuck do you mean?
They look like shit, don’t they?
I’m not in here to make a fucking bet.
I’m not fucking buying that.
Fuckface, who’s speaking to you?
Fuckface? I like that one. I’ll have to remember that one next time I’m climbing off your mum.
It’s not as if it’s a tin of baked beans1 What do you mean ‘open him up’?
It was a rhetorical question.
What have I told you about thinking?
Get back down or you will not be coming up next time.
You’re not going anywhere, you thick lump.
You stay until the job’s done.
He’s harder than a coffin nail.
Have you ever crossed the road and looked the wrong way? A car’s nearly on you. So, what do you do? Something very silly. You freeze. Your life doesn’t flash before you, ‘cause you’re too fuckin’ scared to think. You just freeze and pull a stupid face.
Who took the jam outta your doughnut?
You took the fucking jam outta my doughnut. You did.
I can’t make him fight, can I?
You’re not much good to me alive, are you?
We’ve lost Gorgeous George.
You’re going to have to repeat that.
Where’d you lose him? He ain’t a set of fucking car keys, is he?
It ain’t as if he’s incon-fucking-spicuous now, is it?
You’re on thin fucking ice, my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.
I wasn’t calling your mum a tart.
Ah, save your breath for cooling your porridge.
Have I made myself clear?
Did you understand a single word of what he just said?
I’ve helped you as much as I’m going to help you.
You should fuck off now while you still got the legs to carry you.
Why the fuck do I want a caravan that’s got no fucking wheels?
You want to settle this with a fight?
I’ll not have you fighting! You know what happens when you fight.
Get her to sit down. For fuck’s sake!
I’ll fight you for it. You and me.
I fail to recognise the correlation between losing ten grand and a good deal.
It’s a fucking anti-aircraft gun.
You’ll raise Hell. Nevermind pulses.
He’s been a busy, little bastard.
I think you’ve let him get away with enough.
It can get you into a lot of trouble, thinking, I shouldn’t do so much of it.
You gotta get me to a doctor! Shoot that fuck and then get me to a doctor.
For every action, there is a reaction.
Pull your tongue out of my arsehole.
You have all the characteristics of a dog. Except loyalty.
You’re a ruthless, little cunt. I’ll give you that.
What the fuck are you two looking at?
You are not bringing that thing in here.
I will do you a favour. I’ll not get out this car and bash the living fuck out of you in front of all your girlfriends.
What the fuck are you doing?
I’m driving down the street with your head stuck in my window. What do you thinking I’m doing, you penis?
I don’t think I’ll slow down. I think I’ll speed up.
You better not be telling me porky pies.
Follow me and I’ll fucking shoot you.
These lads are out to hurt each other.
Calm down, son. Behave yourself.
I’ve got the gun, son. I think it’s you who should behave.
You’re plenty fucking stupid.
Fuck me. Have you been reading?
Why don’t you fucking die?
Are you sayin’ I can’t shoot?
I’m not saying you can’t shoot. I know you can’t shoot.
The dog must have ate it.
I create the bodies. I don’t erase the bodies.
He’s been shot in the face. I would’ve thought that was obvious.
It’s just impossible to kill the bastard.
I don’t want to put a bullet in your face, but if you don’t give us exactly what we want, there will be fucking murder.
Goody gumdrops. Get us a cup of tea.
You’re a dead man! You hear me? A fucking dead man.
He’s a dangerous bastard.
Do you want to shoot him?
Do you want to kill him or not?
I wasn’t asking. I was telling.
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