Why do the different peoples of Middle Earth fight each other instead of bonding over their one shared value: building dangerous architecture without handrails?
Like. Come on. Architects in Middle Earth are, irregardless of species, impractical bastards with murder in their hearts.
The shire has no part in that ^_^
new OC is a Hobbit who tours Middle Earth introducing OSHA regulations to the various peoples
Orcs are like, “…hey uh so we were definitely planning to eat you, but… go on… we want to hear more about these ‘hand rails’ you speak of…”
Suddenly I get where Gollum is coming from. If I lived in Middle Earth, I too would move around the place by clinging to everything like a goddamn gecko. You couldn’t get me to walk upright over one of those bridges if you offered me the fucking Silmarillion.





















