Healing Hands

20th April 1990, SKCA, Field Medic. 'The fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself. ' - Paulo Coelho Just an RP... May contain 18+ material

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I need to clean out my relationships cus people left ;;

you can check out my relationships page and/or inbox me to plot :3

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Any one wanna plot check out my relationships page if you don't have ideas~~~

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time to clean up my rps~

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Instruction| LuHan & Kevin

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Kevin nodded sheepishly and rubbed at his eyes, smiling shakily up at Luhan. He inhaled a deep breath, trying to steady his breathing and somehow make the puffiness of his now-reddened eyes disappear. “Y-You don’t have to pay, gege, I can pay for my own, it’s alright…” He protested quietly, but got up anyways. He really did want food, even if he didn’t want Luhan to have to buy it for him.

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Lu Han smiled a little, "Hyung wants to treat you." Lu Han smiled a bit more, he also wanted to test his Korean food words, and he felt bad for off-loading all his feelings, all the stuff he'd kept hidden on the younger. He hadn't told the full story, but if this was the reaction to part of the story, Lu Han would have to keep the full story away from the younger. 

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Safe Distance || LuHan & Seunghyun

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“Okay!” Seunghyun chirped from the order, happy to have gotten out of the nagging that would’ve ensued otherwise. It wasn’t that he disliked Lu Han’s company - in fact, he enjoyed it - it was the lectures that usually came with it that he wasn’t fond of. The boy knew the admonishment was for his own good, but his pride died a little every time they occurred.

“Um, just something warm,” the assassin answered after a little bit of thinking. He knew that something cold would just serve to upset his stomach and add onto the pain he as already feeling. Leaning his hand onto the ice pack, Seunghyun obediently stayed still to give Lu Han a show of his intent to follow his orders.

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Lu Han nodded and left the room, grabbing a small bowl of soup for Seunghyun and a sandwich for himself, he didnt eat much when he had a patient present to start off with, his priority was always them. No exceptions. Lu Han also grabbed two bottles of water, always useful despite his dislike of the taste of water. Lu Han began walking back to the medic's room, he sighed a little, he didn't like his own methods but it was the only thing he could do well. 

He smiled a little at Seunghyun as he walked back in "Soup" he said, handing the small, covered bowl to Seunghyun, "and water" he said as he handed over the water bottle and the spoon to eat the soup with. Lu Han sighed a little, "Still hurting?" he asked.

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Don't Forget to Smile | Woohyun & Lu Han

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Woohyun said nothing. He knew exactly what was on Lu Han’s fine, since it had been handed to him not too long ago. The idea that this man could not go home, which had been a main point in their conversation for some time now, was still a bit sad in Woohyun’s book but it didn’t bother him as much as he made it seem. As much as he wanted to get to know the medic, his job, first and foremost was  to keep an eye on the young man and make sure he didn’t do anything that would insinuate remaining ties with the life his mother lead, or insinuated any disloyalty to the SKCA. Even if good-natured Woohyun would have disapproved of such antics, team leader Woohyun knew to keep smiling when if needed. And in this case, the situation called for an awkwardly, sad chuckle. 

“I haven’t read you file…” Woohyun lied, continuing to look a bit sorrowful,“ but it must have been bad…”

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Lu Han smiled a little, it was a fake smile, what kind of team leader allows a medic to work on his team without reading the file, knowing his strengths, weakness, everything, not that one could learn that from Lu Han's file. He looked at Woohyun. "Yeah Must've been bad" he repeated, Lu Han knew that when the time suited he could become intelligent, but now was not the time. 

Lu Han picked a little at his sandwich, trying to avoid eye contact with the other man who he felt was threatening him in the sense that he was trying to work out the past, things that Lu Han was working so hard to hide. Things that he didn't know if they would jepordize his stay in the SKCA, and if they did he really did have no where to go. The NCS' hands were tied about him, they couldn't take him on with out severing relations with the Triads. And if he had to leave SKCA, his visa would lose validity and he'd be sent home, most likely to his death.

"But a lot of kids have horror stories from the time they came out" Lu Han shrugged.

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Don't Forget to Smile | Woohyun & Lu Han

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Woohyun didn’t know how to react. Here he was trying to make a connection between the two of them, only to find out their gap was much wider than he had expected. However he had questions so he persisted a bit longer. He was a curious boy and he couldn’t help but ask: “What happened?”

“I can’t imagine not being able to go home. Even with being able to travel with this job, I could easily say that Korea is the only place I only, truly know.” It was a true sentiment. Not only was Korea him homeland, but he had nowhere else. He had friends who studies abroad while in university, but he couldn’t do that, not like them.  “What did you do?”

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Lu Han looked at Woohyun carefully eyeing him. "When if you go home someone will kill you, going home looses it's appeal." Lu Han murmured before drinking more of his drink. Lu Han looked at Woohyun, "I would say look at my file, but I know for a fact it's not on my file." Lu Han shrugged. 

"Lu Han, defected from China when he was 18, due to his skills as a medic SKCA took him on" Lu Han quoted, "Is in my file." Lu Han shrugged, he'd made sure he was 'disorientated' when interviewed and didn't answer and there was no way that the catalyst would divulge what happened. 

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Don't Forget to Smile | Woohyun & Lu Han

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The cup was a few centimeters away from Woohyun’s lips when he froze, stunned about what Lu Han had just told him. He had heard stories and had a friend who had been shunned by his father after he came out, but it was sad to hear that someone could be driven from their home country because they had nowhere else to go.  “I’m sorry to hear that,” he muttered, putting his cup back down and giving the other a sincere look. “Do you—have you talked to your family since?”

Regardless of everything that drove his grandfather to push his father to raise Woohyun ‘like a man’, he knew his parents and his grandparents loved him dearly, and he couldn’t see them turning their backs back on him if he ever brought a man him… but he knew that he could be wrong. So painfully wrong. From experience, he knew that older generations tended to look poorly on stuff like this, and for all he knew, the person who’s opinion mattered the most—his grandfather—could force him away at any moment. “I guess you’re right…. but we have that gives us something in common—we both runaway and ended up here,” Woohyun smiled back and brought his coffee back to his mouth.

It wasn’t the same thing, it really wasn’t. Woohyun’s reason for running away from his future, from what was expected of him had been purely selfish… and he couldn’t help feel a little guilty that he had a home.

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Lu Han shook his head. "I only had a mom and a step-dad, they'd kill me if I even went back to China, so no I havent talked to them since." Lu Han said quietly he was serious about how he'd die if he went back. "I'm a one-child, so basically they are upset, I was their one chance of lineage and I fucked up" Lu Han looked down. 

"That and some other stuff happened, well let's just say they found out about something I do, and they disapproved, then there was the thing about who I was with and it got a bit... heated." Lu Han waved his hands, before going back to being silent. 

He looked down a little, he missed his homeland but he was safe here.

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Enemy in Need | Hyuna & Luhan

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     Hyuna sighed in relief as she watched clean bandages cover her body instead before crossing her arms and pouting a little, “Force feed me all you want, I want you to eat too!” She felt like a child again but she couldn’t say she didn’t like it. Being pouty and whiny was something she was often doing in her childhood, before everything…

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Lu Han laughed a little bit. "Fine, I'll eat a little more." he said handing her her food pot back, "eat up." he said before opening the lid on his soup, carefully eating it to make sure that he didn't scold himself on the soup itself. 

"You never told me your name, you never told me anything?" He said looking at her, "You don't have to tell me. I'm not going to hurt you either way." he said shrugging.

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'3'

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Unescapeable Truths| LuHan & Kai

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Kai looked at Lu Han with pained eyes. He didn’t know what to say. He inched a bit closer to Lu Han, and gave him a hug. A hug was what was needed right now. A hug symbolizing that Kai will always be there for Lu Han, no matter what the trouble was.

“Don’t say that, Hyung. Don’t degrade yourself like that. You and your mother are two different people, although you both share the same blood, you are your own person, you are not your mother, you are you. Don’t forget that” Kai spoke. “Hatred. There will always be hatred in this damned world.” He whispered in an angry tone, but softened up afterwards. 

“You are you, Lu Han Hyung. Do what you’re capable of. Don’t let anyone try to ruin you. You’re strong, I know you are. Don’t say that you’re a whore. Don’t ever degrade yourself like that. Don’t listen to what your mother has to say, she said it so she would make herself feel more powerful. Don’t give in to her words.” Kai spoke. 

“Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Again, you are you, and you are not a whore” Kai emphasized on the word.

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Lu Han melted into the hug, he was trying as best he could not to burst into full blown sobbing in Kai's arms. "But I am a whore" Lu Han said quietly, "A worthless whore" Lu Han said. "You know what I do Kai." Lu Han breathed. 

"I sleep with people" Lu Han said, "to take away pain" he added, Lu Han shuffled closer into the younger, he needed this hold, he needed to be held. Lu Han rested his head on Kai's chest. "I'm repulsive." Lu Han breathed out. 

Lu Han closed his eyes, deep down he hadn't aged four years, deep down he was still the 18 year old boy who was scared out of his mind after his mother tried to kill him. Lu Han hadn't been able to move forward. He'd been suppressing it all this time.

Lu Han looked at Kai and smiled a little, "Thank you Kai, for not thinking bad of me. I deserve it."

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Instruction| LuHan & Kevin

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Kevin nodded solemnly at Luhan’s admission, hugging the older boy once more for good measure before drawing away slightly to wipe at his eyes. “Th-Thank you for telling me…” He said softly, biting down on his lower lip. It was an anxious habit he had, and it was by no means a good one.

Suddenly, Kevin’s stomach growled loudly and he blushed furiously, looking down at the ground. “U-Uh, I’m hungry…” He said unnecessarily. 

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Lu Han smiled, "Thank you for listening." he smiled weakly, he smiled when he heard Kevin's stomach rumble. "Hungry?" he laughed a little when Kevin told him he was hungry, "Shall we go and get something to eat then? Hyung will pay~"

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Instruction| LuHan & Kevin

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Kevin sniffled and nodded. He wanted to believe Luhan, he really did. But while Kevin was innocent, he was by no means an idiot. He knew Luhan was hiding something, but he just didn’t know what…

He sensed truth in the other male’s words, and he felt a little more reassured. “G-Good…” He whispered, wiping at his eyes, suddenly embarrassed.

“I-I’m sorry… I… I was so childish…” He was suddenly sheepish and wanted to hide somewhere.

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Lu Han smiled a little, "You weren't childish." Lu Han said quietly. "It's difficult to hear about I imagine. I mean not everyone is almost killed by their mother." Lu Han said softly, wiping the others eyes. "But thank you for listening" Lu Han said softly. 

"You're the first person I told."

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OOC:

I, being the idiot I am, broke my laptop. So I am going on Semi-Hiatus as I am sharing this laptop with my mom. This is in a way good because I have really big (like deciding if I go to university big) exams coming up so should study more. 

I'm still here :3 and I'll be around as much as I can.

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Unescapeable Truths| LuHan & Kai

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Kai remembered it all. The deep aura that Lu Han carried around him, the dreadful look in his eyes, it had pained Kai to see him like this. Kai looked over to Lu Han and sighed a bit, before proceeding to lay a hand on his shoulder.

“I can’t say that it’s okay, because.. I’m not sure if it is. The past is the past, but right now? Right now, it’s the present. Of course the past will haunt you, but it’s what makes you stronger. You learn from the past” Kai mumbled. 

If only he had listened to his own advice, he wouldn’t be thinking about the death of his parents all the time.

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Lu Han looked at Kai. "My mother almost killed me Kai." Lu Han stared at him. "That's not something I can let go of. I remember everything about it, the pain, the names, the attack, her anger, the fact she showed no affection, the fact that she wasn't bothered about killing her own son. The fact she hates me more than anything else in this world" Lu Han was crying without even noticing it. His tears were streaming down his face. 

"I'm nothing but the shamed son of the Triads best seducer" Lu Han said moving out of Kai's arms. He moved away from Kai, he wasn't worth touching, all the names were rushing back to him. The one that burned in his mind, the one he now defined himself as. "I'm nothing but a whore." Lu Han whispered.