meluu

a girl in love. that's my blog

[luulovsoikawa]

okk so new pin post jdjkf

about me

mel. she/her. minor. i don't agree with pursuing unhealthy teacher-student relationships that involve a minor and an adult, this blog is just to vent. i love movies and literature, art in general, i am very passionate about it. english is not my first language, sorry if some posts are bad redacted!

tcs

[D] he is my tc by default. the posts where i don't put any letter and only refer to my tc as "he" are usually going to be about him. he's incredible. most of my posts are about him.

[H] I see him as a father figure and I appreciate him, but it's not a crush how so. some of my posts are about him

[luulovsoikawa]

today we talked for the first time in a year. i thought he might go to his home early because we were at the exit door, but he stayed and said he was still waiting for his taxi to come for him. he recognized me and told me he noticed we didn't saw each other for an entire year. i had two other friends with me there, ones that he very appreciates, but he didn't looked at them even once, he was just interested on listening to me. he thanked me because of the gift i gave him and said that he had one for me too. (HE HAS A GIFT FOR ME! HE'S BEEN KEEPING IT SINCE! MORE! THAN! A! YEAR! FOR! ME!) we talked about some of my life decisions and more, just honestly a small chat. but it meant so much. i didn't wanted it to finish :( i already miss talking to him. this was our first real conversation. i felt comfortable to speak like a normal functioning human lol probably because i've grow up. it felt so easy. i don't feel like i used to feel before, i don't have this uncontrollable feeling in the chest, overflowing with love. but i do feel warmth, and i do feel love for him. just not the same amount. i think i'm still a little bit in love with him. i will always be. he changed my perception of love, my taste on boys and the things i look for in a person. all the boys i've liked since him have had something similar to him. his way of talking, his personality, his hobbies, the way he carries himself. all of them are a projection of what was once my first love. i have to admit, i missed the feeling of being in love with him. i missed that pump in my chest and the nerves and all. the insane happiness it gave talking to him. but it's okay. i will always carry a piece of him on me. i'm happy it is like this. i couldn't think of someone better to fall in love with and remember forever. he's the one and he will always be. 💗

[lizzieee24]

[luulovsoikawa]

he's touching 60s

[luulovsoikawa]

I dreamed about him

[sealene]

he was in my dream i’m actually cooked IM GOING TO GRADUATE IN A FEW MONTHS I CANT BE THIS INFATUATED WITH MY TEACHER

[luulovsoikawa]

what the hell man. i can't believe i just woke up from a dream with him. and not just any dream, a romantic one. i thought i was over this, but i guess it never disappears. i just didn't saw him for an entire year and now that o see him again i go crazy. ugh. i'm tired lol

[weepingangel-s]

That one time he kept eye contact for a good 10 seconds when talking and walking over to my friend

[deerdiaryz]

when the feeling from seeing him wears off and i realize i embarrassed myself by staring so hard 💔💔

[luulovsoikawa]

hey i'm alive how are y'all

[luulovsoikawa]

I was listening to a random podcast and suddenly the guy on the podcast laughed and he has the same laugh as D. I can't describe to you how I audibly gasped. I want to cry lol 😭

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

Marina Tsvetaeva, On Love

[perfectquote]

“It felt amazing the days you were happy to see me.”

— Buddy Wakefield

[heartsforyou222]

got a grade lower than an A in his class i'm gonna rip my head off

[luulovsoikawa]

LOL THIS IS SO RELATABLE

[stuckinapril]

[stuckinapril]

[ps1]

kevin moore

[luulovsoikawa]

I really hope he remembers me. that little person who looked at him with fascination when he spoke and blushed profusely when he said some compliment. that something of me has remained in him. all of him remained in me, a part of me belongs to him, and I know it's not the same for him, but I hope that a small corner of his mind will one day look back and remember the appreciation in the eyes of another student he was special to