⁎̩͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁂̩̩͙͙ Moon ⁂̩̩͙͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁎

ACTIVE: JUN '26 - 22 - CNA my w31ght fluctuates more than my mood fr

[m00nc41zzz]

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ✧ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

- ɮʟօƈӄ ɖօռ'ȶ ʀɛքօʀȶ

- ɦɨɖɛ ʏօʊʀ ʟɨӄɛֆ ǟռɖ ʄօʟʟօաɨռɢ օȶɦɛʀաɨֆɛ ʏօʊ'ʀɛ ɢɛȶȶɨռɢ ɮʟօƈӄɛɖ!! ɨȶ'ֆ ʄօʀ ɛʋɛʀʏօռɛ'ֆ ǟƈƈօʊռȶֆ ֆǟʄɛȶʏ!

- ȶɦɨֆ ɨֆ ǟռ €ɖ ɮʟօɢ, քʟɛǟֆɛ ɖռɨ ɨʄ ʏօʊ'ʀɛ ɨռ ʀɛƈօʋɛʀʏ օʀ ǟ ռօռ-€ɖ ǟƈƈօʊռȶ!! ɨʄ ʏօʊ ɦǟʋɛ ǟ ֆɨɖɛ ɮʟօɢ, քʟֆ ɖʍ ʍɛ աɦɛռ ʏօʊ ʄօʟʟօա!

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ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : ꪑꪮꪮꪀ'ᦓ ᭙ꪖꪀꫀ

145 ——|—————— 100

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

volυмe : ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇▉

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ABOUT ME, TAGS, $T4T$ BELOW:

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ αׂׅׅϐִִׂ໋֢࣪࣪ᦒ᩠ׂׅυִ໋֗ȶׂׅ ࣭࣪ꪑᧉ᩠֗: ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

✦ I used to be @/moonc4lz (4=a) but I got obliterated 😔 Was on here w that acc since 2022!!! 😭

✧ 22, I go by Moon! I'm a CNA in Assisted Living! 💖

✦ she/they, nb, ace

✧ Some interests of mine:

⋆ Sup3rn4tur4l

⋆ G3nsh1n 1mp4ct

⋆ L0lc0ws

⋆ YT: S34n of St33l, 4ng3lyc4 Unf1lt3r3d, K4rin4 K4boom, 4nti M4tt3r M0rty, Th3 H00f GP

✦ Dx: MDD, CPTSD, Social Anxiety

✧ Self Dx/Suspected: AuDHD, BED/OSFED(B/R), PDD, PMDD, OCD, EDS, POTS

✦ Been on €|) socials since like 2016, mostly insta+twit, tumblr I used from time to time as well, started using heavily in 2020 iirc, can't remember usernames ;w;

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　ִ໋֗ȶִׂׂׅαׂׂׅׅׅᧁִ໋࣪꯱ָׂ　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

✦ m00n yaps = random yapping

✧ m00n wins = positive things!!

✦ m00n FUCK = negative things/mostly b1n9€s :(

✧ m00n ????? = ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

✦ m00n f4sts = any f4sting talk!

✧ m00n 34ts = daily L0$3 1t! screenshot/log!

✦ m00n b1n9€ journal = my journal/log for b1n9€s to try to figure my shit out :(

✧ m00n reblogs = my reblogs!! Duh <3

✦ m00n work = work-related (assisted living shenanigans)

✧ m00n 3xpl1c1t = s3xu4l/otherwise tmi talk

✦ m00n GROSS EW = b0d1ly flu1ds/funct10ns talk, about self or about residents

✧ m00n bnuuy = me sharing my bnuuies <3 / wild baybey bnuuy sightings!!

✦ m00n b0dy¢h3¢ks = my b¢s!! rare but sometimes I'm proud of myself <3

✧ m00n vents = my self hatred and other vents

✦ m00n g3nsh1n = my g3nsh1n related stuff!

✧ m00n's drunk = my drunken escapades <3

✦ m00n divines = my occasional weird un1v3rs3/sp1r1tual s1gns and interpretations lol (censor bc I started getting sp1r1tual blogs following ;w;)

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ִ໋࣪꯱ִָׂ໋֗ȶִׂׂׅαִׂ໋ׅׅ֗ȶִׂ໋ׅ࣪꯱ָׂ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

✦ 5'8.5" / 174¢m

✧ ~132Ibz / ??? βM1

✦ ~19.5% βF₱

✧ ~1400 βMR / ~2000 ₮D€€

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ׂׅᧁִ࣪ᦒ᩠ִׂׂׅαׂׅׅᥣִ໋࣪꯱ָׂ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

(ಠ ~ ಠ) ִ໋࣪꯱ָׂׂׅᨰ᩠ׂׅ࠭: 145

(╥﹏╥) ᥣׂׅᨰ᩠ׂׅ࠭: 120.8

(＾ω＾)〚❌〛ׂׅᧁׂׅᨰ᩠ׂׅ࠭𝟷: 130

(｡♡ω♡｡) 〚❌〛ׂׅᧁׂׅᨰ᩠ׂׅ࠭𝟸: 120

~ Old/Unrealistic Goals 👇 ~

♡-٩(^▿^)۶-♡〚❌〛ׂׅᧁׂׅᨰ᩠ׂׅ࠭𝟹: 110

(♡´❍`♡)*✧｡* 〚❌〛υׂׅᧁׂׅᨰ᩠ׂׅ࠭: 100

•ω• ☞ ϐִׂ໋֢࣭࣪࣪ꪑ݂࣭݂ꪱִ໋ׅ࣪࣪꯱ָׂ: 𝟷𝟿.𝟻, 𝟷𝟾, 𝟷𝟼.𝟻, 𝟷𝟻

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ✧ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

[m00nc41zzz]

I forgot to post my bnuuy sightings this morning!!

There was also a pair of ducks but my hands were full and I couldn't get a good pic before they fled/flew away :(

[m00nc41zzz]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 6/16 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[1️⃣?] Day(s) B1n9€ Free

SOTD: (PEEP THE NEW DROPPP)

➚ S¢4le said 137 before 4ppleb33's.. 😭 most of that is food/waste w€1ght but stillllll 😭

Okay. We already know I have zero self control, so ofc when my fiancé wanted to get food after our haircuts, I said yes. I made poor decisions, but I don't think it's a b1n9€?? Hence the "?" in the "Days B1n9€ free" thing. Idk.

Sn4ck (lotta fruit basically, trying to get thru my older fruit asap) / AM Meds:

4ppleb33's/Lunch:

PM Meds:

Yeah idk I don't think I'm gonna count it? But on the bright side with how much food I've been having, at least I'm 💩'ing regularly?? 😭🔫

I have to work thru Thursday night and I think imma take a l4x at some point thru that night so I can clean out my system and start fresh on my days off.

I'm just really frustrated with myself with my lack of self control. I just don't understand it. I think I'm gonna stop trying to push myself and set limitations bc that always backfires or smth pops up and causes it to derail. I'm just gonna do what I can to minimize my int4ke, eat my fruit, and hopefully we won't be doing anything unexpected but if we do, I'll try not to go overboard like I've been doing. 🫩

•★─────✧⁂🌒⁂✧─────★•

[m00nc41zzz]

So much for that fruit f4$t... Fiancé wanted to go out for lunch after our haircuts so we're getting 4ppleb33's lol, I couldn't turn down a drink.. I think I have a slight problem lmaoo

[m00nc41zzz]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 6/15 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[❌] Day(s) B1n9€ Free

SOTD:

I don't know what tripped me to b1n9€ at work.. but Jesus Christ. I wanted to eat my normal stuff but circumstances keep shoving food opportunities in my face and I keep giving in. FML. It's so fucking embarrassing to b1n9€ at work... Esp when hE WAS RIGHT THERE FOR PART OF IT? And I somehow did it without him realizing. Like how much of a f4tass do I have to be to b1n9€ on stale ass donuts 😭😭😭😭😭 like the frosting on them kept them pretty moist but that didn't mean they were any good... I'm just so disgusted with myself. And then when I get home, of course I always regret it every time I smoke but I still do it once in a blue moon, but as per usual I end up having another b1n9€ 😭😭😭

ANYWAYS. I'm gonna try this fruit f4$t thing I looked up, it's exactly what it sounds like lol. Just gonna subside on protein shakes and fruit for a while bc my grapes are about to go and my blueberries are getting a little soft. I just need to go through them like YESTERDAY lmao

(EDIT: Wrong totals lol whoops)

Work B1n9€:

(not posting it bc 1. It's a really long list and 2. Ew)

AM Meds:

Post-Work B1n9€:

PM Meds/"Dinner":

I didn't bring anything with me to work except my protein shake I brought yesterday and forgot about, so I'm just gonna have that tonight and since I ended up passing out after my b1n9€ at home, I'll probably end up having some fruit when I get home and do the chores I neglected ;w;

•★─────✧⁂🌒⁂✧─────★•

[m00nc41zzz]

Whoops had the wrong totals, it's accurate now 😭

[m00nc41zzz]

★¸.•Ɓ1ƝƓ€ ʝⰙꓴⱤƝ𐤠ȴ.•☆

(both from 6/15 rolled into one lol)

𝑾𝜢𝜟𝜯 𝜤 𝜟𝜯𝜮:

Work: Sweets

Home: Savory carbs, candy

𝑾𝜢𝜟𝜯 𝜢𝜟𝜬𝜬𝜮𝜫𝜮𝑫:

Work: Got triggered somehow? Just got overwhelmed with everything, slight negative interaction with my fiancé?

Home: I was h1gh, couldn't resist urges

𝑾𝜢𝜟𝜯 𝜤 𝑭𝜮𝑳𝜯:

Work: Shame, Anxiety, Exhaustion

Home: H1gh, hella urges and no impulse control

𝜫𝜣𝜯𝜮𝑺:

Work: I'm still not really sure but we were having to throw away the donuts bc they had been there already for a while and no one ate them, and I already had urges the previous shift I was there and resisted and thought they'd be thrown away already. So when they weren't, and I had bitched back and forth with my fiancé I guess I just went crazy.

Home: NO MORE FUCKIN SM0KINGGG(until I can get a sat1va that doesn't make me b1n9€ and/or pass out after...) and stop getting so many frozen meals I can make really easily and b1n9€ on. More fresh stuff, try to redirect my b1n9€s to fruit. At least the sugar there is natural and not artificial like most of my b1n9€s and I won't feel quite as bad about it 😭

[m00nc41zzz]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 6/15 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[❌] Day(s) B1n9€ Free

SOTD:

I don't know what tripped me to b1n9€ at work.. but Jesus Christ. I wanted to eat my normal stuff but circumstances keep shoving food opportunities in my face and I keep giving in. FML. It's so fucking embarrassing to b1n9€ at work... Esp when hE WAS RIGHT THERE FOR PART OF IT? And I somehow did it without him realizing. Like how much of a f4tass do I have to be to b1n9€ on stale ass donuts 😭😭😭😭😭 like the frosting on them kept them pretty moist but that didn't mean they were any good... I'm just so disgusted with myself. And then when I get home, of course I always regret it every time I smoke but I still do it once in a blue moon, but as per usual I end up having another b1n9€ 😭😭😭

ANYWAYS. I'm gonna try this fruit f4$t thing I looked up, it's exactly what it sounds like lol. Just gonna subside on protein shakes and fruit for a while bc my grapes are about to go and my blueberries are getting a little soft. I just need to go through them like YESTERDAY lmao

(EDIT: Wrong totals lol whoops)

Work B1n9€:

(not posting it bc 1. It's a really long list and 2. Ew)

AM Meds:

Post-Work B1n9€:

PM Meds/"Dinner":

I didn't bring anything with me to work except my protein shake I brought yesterday and forgot about, so I'm just gonna have that tonight and since I ended up passing out after my b1n9€ at home, I'll probably end up having some fruit when I get home and do the chores I neglected ;w;

•★─────✧⁂🌒⁂✧─────★•

[m00nc41zzz]

CRYING AT THIS OMFGGGG

[m00nc41zzz]

In more positive news: I SAW LIKE 5 BNUUYS THIS MORNING!!!! AAAAAAAA

HERE'S ALL OF THE SAME BAYBEYYY I SAW:

(THE FUR PATTERN ON THE SIDE IN THE 1ST IMAGE IT LOOKS SO ANGY OMGGG 💕😭💖)

And a slideshow of said baybeyy:

(noticed me) > (sort of "meerkat") > (starting to dash) 💕😭

And a few others I saw!!:

(last two were really close together!! You can see the same fence in the bg lol, also 2nd and 3rd might have been the same bun? Idk, after that second pic, it went around the corner there and I then walked around and saw the 3rd pic, which is feasible for it to have just simply hopped over there lol)

[m00nc41zzz]

ALSO realizing this is the equivalent of the universe slapping me in the face, manhandling me, shaking me by the shoulders and screaming in my face to get a fucking grip. Oop.

[m00nc41zzz]

In more positive news: I SAW LIKE 5 BNUUYS THIS MORNING!!!! AAAAAAAA

HERE'S ALL OF THE SAME BAYBEYYY I SAW:

(THE FUR PATTERN ON THE SIDE IN THE 1ST IMAGE IT LOOKS SO ANGY OMGGG 💕😭💖)

And a slideshow of said baybeyy:

(noticed me) > (sort of "meerkat") > (starting to dash) 💕😭

And a few others I saw!!:

(last two were really close together!! You can see the same fence in the bg lol, also 2nd and 3rd might have been the same bun? Idk, after that second pic, it went around the corner there and I then walked around and saw the 3rd pic, which is feasible for it to have just simply hopped over there lol)

[m00nc41zzz]

My watched registered a 18min/83¢4l work out... I was JUST folding tablecloths(and walking to and from the dining rm where they go), that should NOT have gotten my HR that high??? It was saying my average was 118bpm and my max was 131?!?!

Lord, those post-b1n9€ "workouts" are something else. Idk if anyone else has noticed that, if you have a smartwatch at least, that after b1n9€s you tend to have a higher HR in response to minimal exertion? Like to the point that if I'm wearing my watch, it will almost always register a workout when I'm doing something small like dishes, laundry, etc. I'm sure there's a science behind it but it's still weird lol

Anyways!! Shift over, our panic attack lady didn't come out at all!!! That's a super big win!! For 1, I'm glad she got some sleep and for 2, I get to go out in the car and decompress 🍃😩💨

[m00nc41zzz]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 6/14 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[2️⃣] Day(s) B1n9€ Free

SOTD: (I did this one before but it fits today 😭)

OH MY GOD I YAPPED TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN (BIG EXPLANATION AT THE BOTTOM, TLDR: I mentioned my b1n9€s(not saying that they're b1n9€s but just that I eat a LOT) and how some days I don't €4t as much, surprisingly was able to cover my ass and got almost interrogated by my mom's husband but I think I answered pretty well. Cringing just thinking about it 😭😭😭)

On the topic of the f00d, I take these days as my "cheat?" days, not really cheat but more like a reassurance-to-my-family day. I lighten up on my r€s so that way they don't worry about me. Still a little mad about how high I went, but it's okay, I'm just happy it wasn't too far over my maintenance.

(also re: last post, my b1n9€ was after midnight so it will be logged for tomorrow 😭😭😭)

Local Coffee Place on the way to Breakfast @ My Grandma's: (I got 2 drinks, I needed the extra caffeine 🫩)

Meds/Pre-work:

Explanation: my sibling and I got onto the topic of protein and ¢4l0r!€s somehow and my mom's husband asked about my metabolism and they always joke (and I feed into it) about me being able to put a lot of food away, and they've all seen it when we have family get-togethers, I eat a LOT so they don't worry about me lol and I showed my mom one of my logs of my super bad b1n9€s (the 6.6k one) and she asked me if my thyroid was okay bc I obv haven't put on a lot of w€1ght bc I balance it out w days where I under€4t, and basically ended it with some sort of thing like "it depends on the day, sometimes I don't €4t much, and other days I €4t wayyy too much" and had to clarify if I do under€4t it's not on purpose.. and she brought up how I "used to $t4rv€ myself" (back when I was like 15-16, the height of my first €|) era where my mom kinda caught on at first) and said "you don't still do that do you??" And I was like "GOD no, I could never. I have my job to worry about, I have to be able to function" and it was just an all over hectic conversation and hdivifigjgjfkg ugh I cringe just at the fact I even shOWED THEM MY LOG LMAO IT WAS JUST THE SUMMARY BUT STILL 😭😭😭😭

Then my mom's husband was like

"well what about all these starches and sugar.. if you have too much you just $t4rv€ yourself after?"

And I said "God, no. I just eat what I want and log it"

"So what does it mean if it's too much?"

"the app just tells me it's over my recommended daily amount, and I just eat what I want anyways, it don't matter"

And he just shrugs 😭😭😭😭

He's a strange one anyways, he's always so confused at our little family "traditions" and the way we conduct ourselves or talk or whatever. And just the way he "jokes" is a little awkward lmao

•★─────✧⁂🌑⁂✧─────★•

[m00nc41zzz]

Ugh. B1n9€d at work. Fml 😭

[m00nc41zzz]

Someone's really out to get me... Why is there pizza at work?? 😭 Km$

[seroqueldiaires12]

bro they took me out back and murked me again 😭😭

[m00nc41zzz]

I'm gonna pretty much only be eating fruit for the next while.. I have a lottt of fruit to get thru but hey at least that means I'm not gonna be eating out or anything until the bar like usual 🤪

Speaking of, I'm REALLY gonna have to find a new thing I can do.. the sandwich and such isn't really cutting it. Idk if it's the food or the liquor causing me to still want to b1n9€ when I get home(It's probably the liquor but I can't go without it 😭), so I might go back to this wrap I used to do, it was super good and nice and light, and no fries or anything on the side so no worries on that too bc the fries get really greasy/f4tty and I noticed that higher f4t foods tend to trigger more b1n9€s.

Which according to my app isn't necessary what it's noticed, but this just goes off of what I log in general, not what I log prior to b1n9€s, so most of my "negative impact" foods are literally just the foods I b1n9€ on so it's like.. yeah no shit, dude.

Also ironic that oil is flagged as a positive?? 😭

[m00nc41zzz]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 6/13 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[1️⃣] Day(s) B1n9€ Free

SOTD:

(writing this 6/14)

Ahfirjajfj had a hell of a day yesterday and ended up sleeping most of the day and night away but it always backfires on me and I end up super tired 😭

In short, we got A&W bc we had to run an errand out that way and we haven't had it in a longggg time and oml it was goodddd the fries are to kill for ngl

Then we saw The B4ckr00ms with my fiancé's family yesterday and his mom paid for everything so I got food and an Icee and ofc some candy and ice cream after... So I don't count it as a b1n9€ but I definitely made poor decisions and ate wayyy too much lol

Besides the food stuff, the movie was super good!!! Esp if you already know the b4ckr00ms as a concept, bc I had a coworker that's a bit older and isn't as familiar with the lore of it all across the internet and she said it was okay and left a bit to be desired, and the way she tried to describe it to me made absolutely no sense after seeing it myself 😭😭

Since I already know a lot of the lore, I understood it way more than she would have, and I adore the directors interpretation of it!!! She was saying that they could have gone more in depth into the female lead but I honestly think they could have expanded more on the male lead??? It's kind of equally a mystery, but what we are given is enough to piece together a general idea of how they are as people and what shaped them, and I loved the female lead's story. I won't go too in depth on it but I def recommend seeing it if you guys are already familiar with the concept!!

A&W "Breakfast":

Movies:

(hella overestimated on the ice cream just bc it's another local place and idk the ¢4l amount and I got a good amount of it lmao my fiancé's mom is a bad influence she's always wanting to treat us now that we've moved out 😭)

And Meds:

•★─────✧⁂🌑⁂✧─────★•