Erlang Shen is Supposed to Be on Vacation
S5 theory fic: Erlang Shen is supposed to be on vacation. However, in an hour, he learns that his uncle is dead, someone is trying to do another coup, and Sun Wukong has been filleted again. The people who deliver this news, including mass criminal Master Subodhi, the duo of Ao Lie's descendant and Iron Fan's son, and the creation goddess Nuwa, make things... difficult.
Erlang Shen was on vacation.
He honestly needed one after centuries of work, both doing whatever dirty work his uncle supposedly needed and the day-to-day running of his territory. The gods of fate had been merciful, creating a summer where Jian didn’t have anything important to do until autumn. Heaven could be handled by Li Nezha or any of the hundreds of other warriors (mostly by his student because he knew how the guards could be), the training of his personal guards and army could be handled by his head guards, and any paperwork could be handled by his staff. With all that, Jian found himself luxuriously stretching in his garden, soaking up the sun. Even Xiaotian Quan stretched out, making a happy little dog noise.
His private garden was his favorite place in his palace. Most of the plants grew naturally in the Sichuan province, but the air was sweet with the smell of blossoming Flower Fruit Mountain trees. The saplings had been a gift from Sun Wukong on his birthday, and Jian found no shame in enjoying the gift.
Hm…with the thought of Wukong floating around, Jian wondered if he could invite him over. Despite their rocky beginnings, Jian enjoyed the company of his sworn brother, both platonically and in a more romantic light. He had recently heard that Wukong had also taken up a student, so maybe they could talk about that?
The summer seemed full of possibilities.
Right now, Jian just wanted to sunbathe.
So lost in his relaxation, he didn’t notice a magpie settle on the branches of one of the peach trees, staring down at him. Xiaotian raised his head, but the magpie fluttered away before the dog could notice anything. The large hound, after a quick scan around, settled back down into the grass.
The magpie poked its head out and, deciding it was safe, flew down from the branches.
“Ahem. Prince Erlang Shen.”
He shouldn’t have tempted the gods of fate.
Jian pushed up his sunglasses.
Silver robes and a long white beard met his eyes. If he didn’t recognize that distinctive style, the feeling of the old man’s power gave his identity away. “Master Subodhi,” Jian said, sitting up. “I thought I warned you to stay away from my property unless you wanted me to fulfill my promise of bringing you in.”
Was he risking his uncle’s ire by not fulfilling the bounty on the daoist’s head for gaining immortality in an illegal way? Yes. Did he care? Eh, not really. Wukong had racked up way more charges against him in his long life and he wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of his uncle.
“Are you aware of the state of the world?”
The question came so out of left field that Erlang Shen blinked. “Uh…it’s summer?” he said, gesturing to the perfect summer day with big white fluffy clouds drifting carelessly in a blue sky. “It’s a nice day? My uncle isn’t calling to bother me?”
Subodhi raised a brow. “I can see why, considering he’s dead.”
He…didn’t know how to process that.
“Have you not seen the kid? Did you not see reality start to tear apart?”
Oh. That. “That happens sometimes, especially as my uncle gets older. He must’ve slipped up to have everyone see.” Erlang sighed. Honestly, the dramatics of old men. “If he died, someone would’ve told me-”
“Are you telling me that communication in Heaven has so broken down-”
“My lord!” Before Subodhi could finish his yelling or Erlang could grab and throw that stupid ruler far away, several guards marched in. “We have captured two trespassers. They insisted on talking to you.”
“YEAH!” A female voice called from the center of the huddle. “We have some questions for you.”
Erlang blinked. She sounded young and probably better than the gaping immortal, who for once looked surprised. “Allow them forward,” he called. “Let me see them.”
The guards stepped aside, revealing a girl in a green jacket- her features were familiar, although Jian couldn’t put his finger on why- and…hm. He had heard stories and seen pictures of Princess Iron Fan’s son, although he had never met him in person. He had the same dark eyes and noble bearing his former sworn sister had.
“What are you doing here?” Subodhi said, interrupting his thoughts with his baffled words. “Did you follow me?”
“Master Subodhi? What are you doing here?” the girl said. “You-”
Before she could finish, Red Son grabbed her and forced her to bow at the waist. “Remember what we talked about,” he hissed quietly to his companion. “Manners or we aren’t gonna get anything.”
He stomped on her foot. “Erlang Shen, Illustrious Sage and True Lord of Sichuan, we are Hong Ha-eir, son of the Demon Bull King and Princess Iron Fan, and Long Xiaojiao, descendant of Ao Jie-”
“Oh, that explains why you look familiar.” She looked strikingly like Ao Lie’s older sister…what had been her name again? Jian stood up with a sigh. “Rise, please, nephew.”
Red Son bristled at the address, but rose. Long Xiaojiao stepped forward. “Lord Erlang Shen, we came to plead for mercy for Sun Wukong, Liu’Er Mihou, and my best friend, Qi Xiaotian,” She got fully on her knees, pressing her forehead to the grass in a kowtow. “The charges leveled against them are false. None of them helped Azure Lion reach Heaven and kill the Jade Emperor. Any actions they did to help him were unwilling, done with manipulation-”
Several things stuck out at him. “Wait, what do you mean, kill the Jade Emperor?” Jian nodded to Subodhi, who’s shocked expression had been replaced by a strangely protective look. “He just told me my uncle died, but I have received no news about his death.”
“You…haven’t?” She rose up from her kowtow, looking confused. “But, you sent out a notice. He’s been dead for what, three weeks now?”
“A month,” Subodhi corrected. “I don’t know what you or your friends did. But it’s been over a month since the previous Jade Emperor was slain.”
“And two days since Heaven violated their agreement with me,” another female voice called. Jian felt himself stiffen, just in time for a hand to cup his face and lips to press against his cheek. “Shen, my dear.”
The pet name given by the goddess dressed in earthly tones only made his brow rise higher. While he had a few brief conversations with the ancient goddess at the few parties they both attended, she had never referred to him with fondness. Something was clearly up and Erlang Shen had a feeling he didn’t want to be part of it, but he would have to be.
“What brings you here, my lady?” he said, dipping into a deep bow.
“Oh, I came here to help my son’s little friends and my son’s…master.” Nuwa’s pause on the last word felt mocking. Subodhi clearly noticed it as well, based on his snort. “I also came here for an explanation.”
Her smile was serene. Her aura was not.
“An…explanation for what?”
“Wait, you’re Sun Wukong’s mother?”
“Wait, you’re XIAOTIAN’S MOTHER?!” Xiaotian raised his head at his name. “Sorry, puppy,” Long Xiaojiao cooed. “Not you.” The dog huffed and settled back down.
“It’s complicated and yes,” Nuwa said before turning to him. “And an explanation for the court’s recent actions. As you must be aware, when the Jade Emperor took the throne, he held up my agreement with his predecessors. Any issue with the stones of the universe must be handled by me directly.”
“...okay? Did something happen?”
That was apparently the wrong thing to say, based on Nuwa’s darkening face. Jian was tempted to deflect, considering he just received the news of his uncle’s…unfortunate passing. But that was the coward’s way out.
Nuwa stared at him. Then she snapped her fingers. “Girl, dearest one,” she called. “Bring him the announcement.”
Xiaojiao and Red Son exchanged looks, but she stepped forward, pulling a scroll out of her pocket. “Li Jing gave us this after he put a filet on Sun Wukong’s head and sucked my best friend into his pagoda,” she reported as he took it.
Jian was too busy studying the scroll to hear the shocked gasps from both Subodhi and Nuwa.
That wasn’t his handwriting.
He scanned it over, reading it quickly. It was all very formal, claiming that the royal family, including the Queen Mother of the West, who was slated to rule until the next emperor would be chosen according to his uncle’s will last he checked, would be taking time to grieve at the sudden loss. Li Jing was to be put in charge for the next few months, supported by the ten kings of the Diyu. Someone had even put the Gold Star of Venus’s seal at the bottom, signifying it as legit.
Jian raised a brow. “Did any of you see the Gold Star of Venus?” he asked the Long girl. She stared blankly at him. He sighed. “Either a goddess in yellow with a cockscomb hat or an older man, about…” He put his hand to about his chin. “Yay high or so?”
She and Red Son exchanged looks. “No,” she finally said. “I don’t think so. Honestly, the only celestials we saw during the trial were Li Jing and Nezha and the ten kings. And I honestly expected to see a few peach maidens.”
She paused, as if realizing she wasn’t supposed to say that. “No reason,” she lied. “But, to answer your question, no.”
Something was afoot. Jian was tempted to ask if they were just pulling a prank on him, but Subodhi hated his guts, Nuwa was clearly furious, and he barely knew the younger two. Pranks didn’t seem to be in their skillset. Something popped out.
“Did you say that Wukong has the filet?”
“Yes! At least a filet! Li Jing said he wouldn’t take it off unless we got all the universal stones together and fixed the universe.”
“Which you cannot do without my help,” Nuwa said, crossing her arms with a hiss. “There was no quest needed in the first place. The holders would hand them over to me without a problem. Several Heavenly servants saw you attack Azure to defend the Jade Emperor. Nezha’s testimony alone should be evidence.”
Another thought popped into his mind.
“Where was Nezha when this was happening?”
Silence met him. Faintly, the girl sucked air through her teeth. The boy coughed into his fist. He could practically hear the words rise and fall.
A soft hand once again pressed against his shoulder.
“You know where,” Nuwa whispered. She sounded like she was laughing, even if it was silent.
“It seems someone or several someones have lied,” Erlang Shen dropped the scroll- he hadn’t even realized he was crumpling it- and turned. He was met with anger, but not at him. Good. It would fuel them all. “Now, let me go get changed and call my aunt.”
