mazzy. 22. lesbian. black. femme. she/her. yellowjackets, fashion, iced coffee, doll collector, and horror lover
divider by: @cursed-carmine 🩵
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Mike Driver

izzy's playlists!
occasionally subtle

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Andulka
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$LAYYYTER

Love Begins
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#extradirty

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@m0tel6mxzzy
mazzy. 22. lesbian. black. femme. she/her. yellowjackets, fashion, iced coffee, doll collector, and horror lover
divider by: @cursed-carmine 🩵
Pattie Boyd wearing Fashions by The Fool and interior also by The Fool at the Beatles’ ‘Apple Boutique’ in Baker Street London, 1967, by Ronald Traeger (large size: x)
"you don't know what you have until you lose it" works for things that suck too btw. sometimes you need to experience life without something for a while to realise oh damn that was some bullshit
You ever think about many peices of media have zero women and thats just perfectly normal but if a peice of media has an all female cast people get... like that? Women should be allowed to kill over this btw
same but it's black people
That's right
yesterday i saw a post asking why taivan is so underrated.
and, while the reasons why people get attached to fictional characters and ships vary a lot, it's very likely that racism is connected to it, same as anti-butch discrimination.
that's pretty much a general agreement for taivan shippers.
however, the details of how that works don't seem to be discussed enough, and i think it's worth to expand on them a bit.
because the thing is, taivan is actually a ship that subverts people's expectations in more ways than one, and even for sapphic media standards.
it's not simply because of anti-Black racism, though it's definetely a problem not only in yellowjackets fandom, but pratically all internet fandoms that aren't formed by a majority of Black people (Black-presenting multiracial people like taissa herself as a character and the actresses that portray her are included in this definition, by the way).
it's also the dynamics between the two characters that flip the script of what audiences might expect.
because, while there is a lot of discussion on whether taivan fits a butch-femme dynamic, including whether van could be considered butch and the fact that not all fem-presenting lesbians like adult tai identify as femme (something which is complicated by the fact that s1 costume designer mary schley said in her interview for the yellowjackets buzz podcast that teen taissa dresses in a tomboy way, which gives even more nuance to tai and her relationship to gender presentation), and there's even room to discuss the definitions of these terms to begin with, we do have a dynamic, especially in adult timeline, in which we have a masc-presenting character like van and fem-presenting like taissa.
and that's when it gets interesting, because taivan both subverts expectations to what people assume both an interacial pairing and a masc-fem pairing should behave in media.
in taivan, what we constantly see is van being in some way the caretaker in their relationship, especially in teen timeline, which is the timeline when we see more of their relationship having screentime.
and that not only subverts expectations that society places on masculinity vs femininity, but also race.
we see van always playing the role of supporting taissa through her issues with sleepwalking, to the point of offering to tie herself to taissa so that she could prevent her girlfriend from walking around the woods as she was asleep and even minimizing the fact that, while asleep, tai practically hurt van when she drew blood as they kissed and other tai appeared.
in fact, van's caretaking attitude towards taissa to the point of risking her own health can even be considered a form of codependence, especially when we consider how van has a history of trauma related to that as she dealt with an alcohol-dependent mother and how codependence was first used as a concept to describe the dynamics within the families with an alcohol-dependent person.
the racial aspect is something that particularly draws my attention as a person who relates deeply to lottie matthews for many reasons (personality, temperament, the fact one of my maternal aunt has schizophrenia, the way that the logic behind so called "magical thinking" in OCD resembles lottie's strange wilderness rituals etc), because it's practically the opposite to what happens in most lottie ships.
in most lottie ships, or, at least, the most popular ones, the common factor is people usually focusing on readings about lottie's insistent (almost to the point of being overbearing) attempts to convince the other girls to accept the wilderness faith as a form of yearning and her concearns over the girls' wellbeing as her being the caretaker in the relationship -- the exception might be lottielee, because of laura lee playing a role to further's lottie's storyline, and also based on laura lee being seen as a caretaker both due to short frames showing the girls getting closer after thr baptism and also due to cast interviews saying that lottie lost track of her own self-care after laura lee died.
and the comparison with popular lottie ships is important here because of how it shows that the problem with taivan is not the fact that the dynamic is unhealthy and codependent.
because, for popular lottie ships, even with the non-believers dismissing lottie and treating her like crazy, some to the point of denying that they themselves could be considered "crazy", this type of push-and-pull with the others dismissing lottie is seen as part of the game and another reason of why it is romantic, even if they in some ways mirror how lottie was dismissed and treated like just another "crazy" person by her own emotionally neglecting father.
but, with taivan, it's not seen as a something romantic, or even as something interesting from a narrative perspective and "character study" type of way.
also, the fact that tai is one of the non-believers that lottie insists in trying to convince that the wilderness is real and yet the readings of that as something inherently romantic aren't common seems to drive the point further (and it's also something that deserves its own post).
besides, for the past couple years we have seen terms like "toxic yuri" and "toxic yaoi" become viral and being hyped for their complexity and oftenly cathartic nature of gray morality, particularly in horror media like yellowjackets.
plus, the way that light-skinned Black women are oftenly put in a similar objectifying "exotic beauty" box as Brown women of color makes both cases of taivan and popular lottie ships be relatively similar.
these similarities and parallels highlight the contrast of how taissa is oftenly in a position of being on the receiving end of emotional support on the show vs how lottie is usually the one that is the provider of emotional support without getting any support of her own in fanon.
of course, this meta doesn't intend in any way to exhaust the topic, especially because things can have various causes at the same time, and no tumblr essay -- or any essay, for that matter -- can cover every single aspect of a certain topic.
and we can't forget to mention the ways in which taissa's relationship with van on the show happens at the expense of the representation of dark-skinned Black women, with the way that taissa's ex-wife simone had her role progressively reduced and shown as the "scorned Black woman" trope that hollywood uses oftenly for interracial cis het relationships, and this understandably doesn't sit right with many Black fans in fandom, even those who ship taivan, and might influence on the way that taivan is put aside as a ship by the same Black lesbians and sapphics that were expected to feel represented by them.
but it's important to draw attention to the ways in which similar relationship dynamics and tropes can be received in fandom based on social issues in the real world, especially considering how it has been common for certain fans on social media to use the fact they ship lottie with a certain white character as "proof" that there is no racism in the fandom (particularly on former twitter, currently named X).
i really enjoy this last quote: “and this understandably doesn't sit right with many Black fans in fandom, even those who ship taivan, and might influence on the way that taivan is put aside as a ship by the same Black lesbians and sapphics that were expected to feel represented by them.”
i feel critical of the way adult taissa becomes enmeshed with van and how simone is dismissed and forgotten. how taissa’s awareness that she does not get to make the same choices as the white yellowjackets impacts her desire to be seen as cautious and nonthreatening. there is a reason she is so frustrated by natalie and shauna’s impulsive behavior as adults—taissa is the one being left to do “cleanup.”
she has the resources and is forced to go out of her way to care for the survivors image on top of her own family, partially because she owes natalie for saving her life and is closest to shauna post rescue. she has worked so hard to constantly give herself tasks in order to distract from the fact she is afraid of herself. i personally think it was a chicken/egg situation where taissa’s control over their story came first, and then meeting simone gave her relief from that.
she fell for simone and they were married with a child. she trusted herself enough to live with them and take care of them, up until the blackmailing and demonization of her trauma by her opponent’s campaign ad. taissa was shown to be someone highly obsessed with control over how she is seen but tried to make up for any hurt toward simone or sammy in the process.
simone restructured her entire life to accommodate taissa’s career yet care for him. the publicity, the cameras, putting sammy in a public school. then taissa resigns and the multiple factors of her stress dissolve into keeping van alive. she has an “in” (however slight) to earning back simone’s trust by staying with her after the car accident, but can no longer see anything beyond van’s life and hiding their past. and loving van won’t make the rest of taissa’s expectations and insecurities disappear. she will eventually have to face herself. hopefully this extends to the person she was with simone.
and just like simone, taissa was also going through lots of unpaid and unacknowledged emotional labor to keep the group afloat. if she didn’t allow herself to become disagreeable for the sake of sammy’s safety the way taissa once did for shauna’s baby, no one else would. taissa had to be the one to asssert boundaries, but is slowly fatigued by an uncertain time of doing that for survival. leaving simone to shoulder it all for sammy later on.
MULHOLLAND DRIVE (2001) — dir. David Lynch
i think it’s really funny i have yet to watch the pitt because hospital settings with loud beeps scare me. and then i put on a lifetime thriller where a violent girl getting revenge is the villain and i lowkey sympathize with her because she’s the reason we have tubi classics like “blood sweat and cheer.” and a part of me wants to examine these thrillers as a commentary on social hierarchy. the primary reason these tubi killers go to the lengths they do is because they were put down their entire lives while the object of their fixation has lived a privileged life because they have never been stigmatized for mental illness and cope with pain in a socially acceptable way that the tubi killer was punished for never being taught. and then also the misogyny
microdosing on catharsis by watching a fictional character or persona i relate to have an emotional breakdown until my chest starts to ache from the amount i've repressed
Femme Rooms.
Ulla's Room, 1998. Asia's Room, 1996. Miss Deena, 1999.
All photographs © Chloe Sherman.