Kind of a rant/need to talk and please read the whole thing
Why have I been extra slow posting new chapters?
While there are genuine reasons as to why I'm not updating or posting stories as much, another part of me is actually avoiding posting new chapters lately because of a certain kind of comments taking over.
And the reason might seem kind of stupid, but it's because of the sheer amount of people that flood my comments that start self advertising and pushing me to buy art or to order commissions from them.
I know this might seem super silly, but it has gotten to the point that when originally most of my comments were talking about how much they love the story, how I've helped inspire them to make their own things, now, whenever I post anything, it is just someone asking for commissions or some sort of business deal
I love supporting artists and have ordered commission work before (I will post those here soon I just keep forgetting to) but now I am constantly getting nervous to open any new comments on A03 or even messages here on Tumblr cause I am scared that it is gonna be another person wanting a commission.
I get that art takes time and money and I support when I can. However, i am just one person and it hurts to have to say no or explain to someone that I don't have the funds to spend on commissions. And while some of them have been understanding and stop pushing, others start pushing and pushing and keep trying to convince me to still buy even if I don't want or plan to buy any new commission work.
And it is not just for art, it's just mostly been art
I love that I've been encouraging people and that people do see potential for my stories, so please don't let this rant stop you from creating any art inspired by my stories.
I love them! Keep creating! Keep being your amazing selves!
I just don't love the pressure I'm starting to feel for paying artist commissions. I hate telling people no, and when I do I end up feeling like garbage because I know this person is just trying to get by with their art. It just feels suffocating and whenever I try to move past it, I get more comments whenever I post a new chapter and fall back into a vicious cycle.
I hope this makes some sort of sense.
I will still be leaving my things open for now, but if I feel like it is still much, I will be closing messages and maybe even the ask box. I do appreciate everyone who enjoys my stories, and hopefully once I get fully back on my anxiety medication and just take the time to sit and write without posting, I will hopefully be in a better headspace!
I also have to graduate from college.
Thanks for listening to this rant and I do hope y'all have a great day/night!
