I'm so bad at being lonely. @mad-cosmic-9-year-old - Tumblr Blog

A blast from the past || Amelia and the Doctor

“Not fair? Neither is tormenting ourselves by keeping away.” The Doctor looked to the floor. “I am part of what life has dealt you, Amelia…”

Amy moved forward and kissed him pushing him back against the wall.

The Doctor gripped her face tight as he returned the kiss. He felt his back hit against the wall and mustered the strength to push her off slightly. “I don’t want this to become another one night stand.”

A blast from the past || Amelia and the Doctor

The ache started to feel like a fiery pain.

“There is no one else.” He sort of mumbled quietly. “Why can’t you give yourself the satisfaction of living the rest of your human days with me then? If you’re supposedly just a portion of mine let me be all of yours,”

“That’s not fair to either of us.” Amy said softly. “I should live my life and deal with what life has dealt me…”

“Not fair? Neither is tormenting ourselves by keeping away.” The Doctor looked to the floor. “I am part of what life has dealt you, Amelia...”

A blast from the past || Amelia and the Doctor

“Then… don’t say goodbye.” His fingers wriggled at his side as he tried to find the words to explain what he knew and felt. “My running has never allowed for me to escape pain or anger or angst. I can’t cope another day not being with you.”

“You know it can’t happen. I’ll always grow old and you’ll keep that pretty little face.” She said with a sad smile. “I’m bad for you… I really am and you deserve better, some one who will stay, and someone… else.”

The ache started to feel like a fiery pain.

“There is no one else.” He sort of mumbled quietly. “Why can’t you give yourself the satisfaction of living the rest of your human days with me then? If you’re supposedly just a portion of mine let me be all of yours,”

A blast from the past || Amelia and the Doctor

The Doctor felt as if both of his hearts were planted in the deepest pits of his stomach. “I’m sorry…” He took a breath. ”No, I’m not. If I don’t speak what I’ve been feeling then I may implode from the inside.” He took a step into the doorway. “I’m tired of this constant ache I feel in me. I miss you, Amelia Pond.”

“Stop it.” She said softly, “You’ll say all this, reel me back in and then I’ll have to say goodbye again and I’m the one stuck here, you can travel away running away from all of this and all the feelings, and I’m stuck here dealing with day after day and I can’t cope. I just can’t.”

“Then... don’t say goodbye.” His fingers wriggled at his side as he tried to find the words to explain what he knew and felt. “My running has never allowed for me to escape pain or anger or angst. I can’t cope another day not being with you.”

A blast from the past || Amelia and the Doctor

He let out a soft chuckle. “Yeaaaa.” The Doctor scratched at his chin. “She keeps me grounded. That she does.” He stopped walking and looked at his feet for a few seconds before looking straight up at her and into her eyes. “I miss you.” He straight out said it. “Gallifrey, I miss you, Amelia. Every second of every day. I… miss you.”

Amy stopped with him and let go of his hand, she stood there as he spoke keeping a straight face. The words I miss you burnt into her heart and her body ached. “Don’t.” She said quietly, she moved into the flat behind her leaving the door open for him and opening the door to the one she was staying in for the book tour. “Don’t do that because you know I have no choice.”

The Doctor felt as if both of his hearts were planted in the deepest pits of his stomach. “I’m sorry...” He took a breath. ”No, I’m not. If I don’t speak what I’ve been feeling then I may implode from the inside.” He took a step into the doorway. “I’m tired of this constant ache I feel in me. I miss you, Amelia Pond.”

A blast from the past || Amelia and the Doctor

“Your book is doing well then, eh?” The Doctor smiled down at her before running a hand through his hair. “I was just here.. well just cause really. TARDIS has me get out, said I needed fresh air.” he grunted.

“Yeah, it’s going good.” She smiled and chewed her lip. “The old girl needs to take you for a walk now and again.” She smiled.

He let out a soft chuckle. “Yeaaaa.” The Doctor scratched at his chin. “She keeps me grounded. That she does.” He stopped walking and looked at his feet for a few seconds before looking straight up at her and into her eyes. “I miss you.” He straight out said it. “Gallifrey, I miss you, Amelia. Every second of every day. I... miss you.”

A blast from the past || Amelia and the Doctor

He squeezed her hand as she led him away from their initial meeting point. “Amelia, how did you find me? I hadn’t expected to see you.”

“I was about to ask you the same question. I’m out of town for a book tour.” She said softly and squeezed his hand back.

“Your book is doing well then, eh?” The Doctor smiled down at her before running a hand through his hair. “I was just here.. well just cause really. TARDIS has me get out, said I needed fresh air.” he grunted.

A blast from the past || Amelia and the Doctor

“Hello.” he replied softly. The Doctor’s eyes shut as he felt her fingertips against his cheek. The feel of her skin was so comforting, so warm. “Amelia… I’ve uh… I’ve missed… you.”

“I missed you too Raggedy man.” She said moving back off him as people started to stare. She took his hand and lead him back towards her small flat.

He squeezed her hand as she led him away from their initial meeting point. “Amelia, how did you find me? I hadn’t expected to see you.”

A blast from the past || Amelia and the Doctor

The Doctor had just been taking a simple stroll with no real expectations of the day. It was just something he had started doing since he had been alone. Suddenly a rush of ginger flew and smacked into him. He thought at first he had maybe been imagining it but nothing could mistake that voice and greeting. “Pond.” Was all he imagined to breathe out and clung to the woman in front of him.

Amelia his her face against his shoulder before moving back resting her forehead against his. “You… Hello you.” She said softly and brushed her fingertips along his cheek.

“Hello.” he replied softly. The Doctor’s eyes shut as he felt her fingertips against his cheek. The feel of her skin was so comforting, so warm. “Amelia... I’ve uh... I’ve missed... you.”

A blast from the past || Amelia and the Doctor

As Amelia flew across the street her brain had barely kept up with what she was doing and what she was seeing. She felt her body smack into the man’s without a second thought on what would happen. Her hands held him tightly and her body pressed against him closely. “Hello Raggedy Man.”

The Doctor had just been taking a simple stroll with no real expectations of the day. It was just something he had started doing since he had been alone. Suddenly a rush of ginger flew and smacked into him. He thought at first he had maybe been imagining it but nothing could mistake that voice and greeting. “Pond.” Was all he imagined to breathe out and clung to the woman in front of him.

"Why don’t you? Go back to England I mean. At least take a visit. If you don’t your son may sound like a Yank when he’s older." The Doctor laughed. "Only kidding of course, nothing wrong with that."

"I’ve tried once or twice. It’s… difficult for me to stop moving. I’ve been doing it my entire life. Old habits die hard.” He chuckled faintly. “I had a chance with someone I loved with my whole being and I screwed it up. I lost her. I lost myself for a long long time.”

"I don’t know. I don’t feel like I can. Not just on my own." She said with a soft smile, "I’d like him to go…" She said and looked down at her hand. "He watches a lot of British TV, I don’t think he wants the accent."

"I’m sorry to hear that. Loosing people you love sucks."

"You may not have to go on your own, who knows." The Doctor shrugged trying to act a bit nonchalant. "They really have brought many British programs over here to the States, haven't they?" The Doctor managed to order himself a drink, one in which he hadn't a clue was quite alcoholic because of it's fruity flavor. "This is quite good." He stated as he practically downed it and ordered another.

"Losing people does suck. Very much so and I've lost a lot of people. Like more than anyone person probably should." He grumbled a little as he sipped more at his drink. "I'm a complete mess up really. Wow I'm saying things I proooooobably shouldn't." He giggled a little, the alcohol having an obvious affect on him.

"I’m a people pleaser, what can I say?" He took a handful of peanuts from a bowl on top of the counter and ate them. "New York is brilliant, isn’t it?" The Doctor started, swallowing the remain peanuts and brushing his hands off of residue. "One of the biggest beacons of hope sits on a small island off the harbor. The home of broadway and wallstreet. Magnificent and diverse city."

"Me?" He asked.

"I’m not really from any one place anymore. I travel. Been all over this planet, from New York to Cardiff to the Aztec pyramids, from Egypt to India to the great Wall of China. All over. I can’t stay put really."

"I wouldn’t…" She tried to stop him before he ate the peanuts but then left him to it. "It’s pretty good yeah, I never really thought about that." She smiled softly.

"I went to Cardiff once, I miss England and all that, I wish I could go back." She smiled, "But that’s fab that you travel so far. Have you ever thought about settling down, I mean, everyone has to at some point."

"Why don't you? Go back to England I mean. At least take a visit. If you don't your son may sound like a Yank when he's older." The Doctor laughed. "Only kidding of course, nothing wrong with that."

"I've tried once or twice. It's... difficult for me to stop moving. I've been doing it my entire life. Old habits die hard." He chuckled faintly. "I had a chance with someone I loved with my whole being and I screwed it up. I lost her. I lost myself for a long long time."

"I know that. You don’t need another person to succeed in this universe. That’s quite obvious, Miss. Amelia Pond."

"John Smith, yes." He chuckled. Just as the Doctor was going to suffer through another sip of the bottled alcohol it was removed from his hand. "Oh thank goodness." He sighed in relief. "How long have you lived here?" He asked. "Based off of your… hair." He smirked with a wink. "You’re obviously not originally from here."

Amy laughed as he sighed in relief, “You don’t have to do whatever anyone tells you Mr Smith.” She grinned.

"Well I hope I haven’t completely lost the accent, but I’m from Scotland, went travelling for a while with my husband and ended up staying here, the city is pretty captivating. What about you? Where are you from?"

"I'm a people pleaser, what can I say?" He took a handful of peanuts from a bowl on top of the counter and ate them. "New York is brilliant, isn't it?" The Doctor started, swallowing the remain peanuts and brushing his hands off of residue. "One of the biggest beacons of hope sits on a small island off the harbor. The home of broadway and wallstreet. Magnificent and diverse city."

"Me?" He asked.

"I'm not really from any one place anymore. I travel. Been all over this planet, from New York to Cardiff to the Aztec pyramids, from Egypt to India to the great Wall of China. All over. I can't stay put really."

"Everyone’s a bit mad." He grinned then frowned as she paid. "I have money." He said as he took out an outrageously large wad of cash from the inside pocket of his tweed coat. "I never have money." He almost pouted like a child. "I’m buying next though." He smiled once again, happy in his decision.

The Doctor took a gulp of his beer before making a face and sticking out his tongue. “Oh this is just… I understand the concoct of the beverage. Saved millions of lives throughout history but at the cost of taste.” He put down the bottle and scratched at the top of his head. “Call me Doctor.” he said simply. “Honestly, I forget my real name and even if so, do real names even matter? This is the name, title, promise I made for myself. I am the Doctor. All I ever will be.”

"Fine you can buy next. But don’t you go get all chivalrous on me." She smiled and sipped her drink. "A lady can make her way in the world."

"Okay, not a beer man." She smiled. "Okay, so just Doctor. Worst come to worst if some one asks, I’m assuming your a John Smith sort of man then." She smiled, she would really be worried in this situation if it were normal, if a man wouldn’t tell her his name. "Well Doctor, it’s good to know you look after your promises." She smiled and gulped down her beer and took his. "You don’t have to drink that."

"I know that. You don't need another person to succeed in this universe. That's quite obvious, Miss. Amelia Pond."

"John Smith, yes." He chuckled. Just as the Doctor was going to suffer through another sip of the bottled alcohol it was removed from his hand. "Oh thank goodness." He sighed in relief. "How long have you lived here?" He asked. "Based off of your... hair." He smirked with a wink. "You're obviously not originally from here."

As they approached the bar, the Doctor held the door open for Amelia. He took a seat on one of the stools and span in a circle. “Such a simple item to provide so much pleasure.” He grinned at her.

"Now, if I can just get someone to get our drinks." He leaned against the bar but failed to get the bartenders attention.

Amy smiled as she watched him spin in his chair. “You’re a nutter.” She laughed and when he couldn’t get the bar tendered attention she called and he came straight over.

"Two beers please." She asked and paid the man passing the Doctor his beer. "So umm what do I call you, I mean… The Doctor? What’s your real name?"

"Everyone's a bit mad." He grinned then frowned as she paid. "I have money." He said as he took out an outrageously large wad of cash from the inside pocket of his tweed coat. "I never have money." He almost pouted like a child. "I'm buying next though." He smiled once again, happy in his decision.

The Doctor took a gulp of his beer before making a face and sticking out his tongue. "Oh this is just... I understand the concoct of the beverage. Saved millions of lives throughout history but at the cost of taste." He put down the bottle and scratched at the top of his head. "Call me Doctor." he said simply. "Honestly, I forget my real name and even if so, do real names even matter? This is the name, title, promise I made for myself. I am the Doctor. All I ever will be."