Incorrect MadaTobi Quotes

at this point, I have too many pairs to ship. one is not enougghhh

[madatobiincorrect]

Madara: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Tobirama: Nope, there's 26.

Madara: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Tobirama: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Madara: You'll get the D later ;).

[madatobiincorrect]

Madara: Hey, Tobirama, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

Tobirama: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Madara: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

Tobirama: Can't really say I have.

Madara: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

Tobirama: Sorry, Madara. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

[madatobiincorrect]

Tobirama: What are you in the mood for?

Madara: World domination.

Tobirama: That's a bit ambitious.

Madara: You are my world.

Tobirama: Aww...

Madara:

Tobirama:

Madara:

Tobirama: OH.

[madatobiincorrect]

Madara: Just be yourself.

Izuna: Really? Madara, I have one day to win over Touka’s parents.

Izuna: How long did it take for you guys to like me?

Hashirama: Couple of weeks.

Mito: Six months.

Tobirama: Jury’s still out.

Izuna: See Madara? ‘Just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?!

[madatobiincorrect]

Mito: Time for plan G.

Hashirama: Don’t you mean plan B?

Mito: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Touka: What about plan D?

Mito: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Izuna: What about plan E?

Mito: I’m hoping not to use it. Tobirama dies in plan E.

Madara: I like plan E.

[madatobiincorrect]

Tobirama: When you've been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

Madara: Navy blue isn't your color.

Tobirama: Navy blue brings out my eyes you prick! *Chases after Madara*

[madatobiincorrect]

Madara: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

Tobirama: You always act stupid.

Tobirama:

Tobirama: Wait...

[madatobiincorrect]

Madara: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Tobirama, are a fucking cactus.

[madatobiincorrect]

Tobirama: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Madara!

Madara: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

[madatobiincorrect]

Madara: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Tobirama: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Madara: Seize the dick.

[madatobiincorrect]

Madara, throwing his head into Tobirama's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

Tobirama, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

[madatobiincorrect]

Tobirama: You have to apologize to them Madara.

Madara: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

[jesseevelann]

AU idea:

Obito skips his foolish act, dominating the Akatsuki and making it known he is the true leader. He's cruel, and unjust. They all fear him.

Deidara is a shy and incredibly anxious medical ninja, who is only kept around for his healing abilities. He sticks around Kakuzu, helping him with the patchwork of their teammates.

Obito, still under the name Tobi, is only remotely calm around Deidara. And Deidara loves that. Deidara gets flustered, and is very hard to calm down, but when Tobi asks for his assistance it sends flutters to his stomach.

Tobi, who never relies on anyone, and is known to heal himself, asks Deidara to heal his wounds and take care of him. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's special.

[madatobiincorrect]

Tobirama: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Hashirama: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Tobirama: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

Hashirama: But I heard a siren.

Madara: That was Izuna.

Izuna: Sorry, I got nervous.

[madatobiincorrect]

Izuna: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Hashirama: I sleep with a knife.

Tobirama: Both of you are pathetic.

Izuna: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Tobirama: Madara.

[madatobiincorrect]

Hashirama: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.

Tobirama: That’s a snake

[madatobiincorrect]

Madara: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined.

Tobirama: Heck.

Madara: You're on thin fucking ice.

Madara: Oh no-