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A seeker ~ psyche, to know the purpose and value of life ~ the reason of my existence. ¤¤¤ 私のことを生きがい ¤¤¤ Revitalize oneself --colornote is my new diary-- will extend some here

[mainedesaliza]

Mad

[mainedesaliza]

January why?

[mainedesaliza]

Sagada

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Japannmn

[mainedesaliza]

ESCAPE

I hold people’s stories

like sensitive files

HR rules, heart rules,

all mixed in one messy folder

that no one asked me to carry.

I read between lines,

decode messages

that make my chest ache,

“what do you really mean?”

every word, every silence,

it hits like a weight

I never signed up for.

I plan flights in my head

Tokyo, Osaka, anywhere

that whispers escape

from the noise,

from the guilt,

from the “you should care more”

that never leaves.

I am loyal, I am careful,

I listen, I stay,

even when the world doesn’t notice

how much of me is already spent.

I absorb, I fix, I feel,

and still, somehow, I’m expected

to smile.

But I want to run.

I want to fly.

I want the freedom

to leave the chaos behind

without explaining

why I need air.

I am tired, but I’m not weak.

I am raw, I am fire,

I am the storm and the quiet

that follows.

I don’t just survive,

I process,

I escape,

I understand,

and somehow,

I keep myself together

even when the world

wants me to break.

Because this is me.

Learning, decoding, flying,

always finding my way

through the mess

and the weight

and the people

who don’t see it.

-maine

11.18.25

[perfectfeelings]

“The cost of not following your heart is spending the rest of your life wishing you had.”

— Unknown

[perfectfeelings]

“If you can’t do anything about it then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”

— Tony Baskin

[mainedesaliza]

To My Hero

Rest in peace, dear Dr. Jane Goodall. Thank you for planting seeds of hope in the hearts of the youth. Your life has inspired me deeply as in super, and it will continue to inspire countless others, I promise to help you with that. You have lived a beautiful journey, and the legacy you’ve left will forever live in our hearts.

You taught me to truly live and to appreciate the wonders of life. You opened my eyes to love all beings beyond humanity, showing me that we share a profound connection with animals and the earth itself. You are my hero. Though I am saddened by your passing, I am grateful and joyful that you lived with such purpose and left behind such inspiration. Thank you for everything you taught us. I love you.

[mainedesaliza]

To the Souls Who Walk Beside Me

I’m grateful for the new souls,

two steady hearts that walk beside me,

buddies who bring peace,

calm woven into laughter,

deep talks spilling into night,

spontaneous trips that bloom like wildflowers.

RS

I’m thankful for the five I cherish,

companions of joy and travel,

of meals shared and moments caught in firelight,

their laughter stitching adventure into my days.

RSJMR

I’m thankful for the old souls,

friends rooted in youth,

their loyalty a compass,

their presence a thread unbroken,

with them I long to write new chapters

beside the memories we already keep.

JJ

I’m thankful for the older friends,

wise as elder sisters,

their voices lifting me toward new horizons,

reminding me that I am the youngest,

still learning, still reaching.

NKE

And though I carry the ache of absence,

two best friends lost to distance or time,

I remain grateful,

for the new ones who share my stride,

the pacing of life in all its colors:

growth, adventure,

every emotion rising, falling,

and teaching me to begin again.

YM

[mainedesaliza]

Weather

Some of the best moments are the unplanned ones. Grateful for the time spent with these two beautiful souls. 💕

[mainedesaliza]

A Cry to Heaven

Lord, I don’t know what tomorrow brings,

But I lift my trembling hands to You.

My heart is heavy, lost in wings

Of sorrow I can’t quite undo.

I’m standing in the in-between

Of wanting rest, of needing light.

I long to leave, to be unseen,

Yet crave the colors of this life.

There’s beauty here-I’ve seen it bloom:

The laughter, sun, the ocean’s breath,

The way love dances through a room,

The quiet fight to outpace death.

But still I cry, and I don’t know why

A storm inside, I can’t explain.

A silent plea sent to the sky,

Each tear a whisper full of pain.

I want to live, Lord, help me see

The purpose You have sewn in me.

I want to walk where You have tread,

To wake with joy, not drown in dread.

Heal my heart, it feels so torn,

Like petals bruised before the morn.

Yet still, I love You-this I know,

Through every high, through every low.

So stay with me, don’t let me stray,

Be my guide through night and day.

Wrap me in Your quiet grace,

Let me feel Your warm embrace.

And when I’m lost, remind me true

This breath I take, it’s all from You.

Make this life a song worth singing,

A bell of hope forever ringing.

Amen.

I love you Papa G. 🤍

-mcdd

[thepersonalquotes]

[mainedesaliza]

I’ve been carrying a mix of things… some heaviness I can’t fully name, work that still needs finishing, and moments where I just want to pause. But I remind myself: rest doesn’t mean I’m behind, and feeling a lot doesn’t mean I’m weak.

I’m human… still learning, still growing, still showing up, even in small ways. And for now, I choose to give myself grace while I move forward. 🤍

-mcdd

[mainedesaliza]

SPONTANEOUS

Blessed is the word for today.

Steady air, warm hearts,

and a calm that holds me gently.

Two souls beside me,

each a comfort in their own way,

And the first soul, whose spark began this journey.

A sacred place found us,

where my prayer met the quiet,

and the quiet met my heart.

Nature stood still,

and I stood with it.

And somewhere between

the greens and the light sky

The other soul’s first drive afar,

an Authority to make us stop,

got out with a racing heart,

and laughter chasing afterwards. 🚗💨✨

-mcdd

[perfectfeelings]

“Everyone needs a person to whom you can actually tell the truth when he/she asks “How are you?””

— Tinku Razoria

[mainedesaliza]

HOW AM I?

By being torn between what is right for me and what I want to be right but isn’t, I got stuck in this limbo, unable to find my way out. All I want is to return to a calmer time… a time when everything felt different, when I still believed in a bright future, and when I had someone I loved by my side. Now I realize that the only steps leading into my imagined future are mine alone. I know I will need time to heal, but I am determined to do it.

Maybe you’ve noticed me growing distant. Maybe you’ve seen that I don’t reach out anymore, that I don’t answer your calls or reply to your texts. Maybe you know that I am still hurting and aching for you, and perhaps that’s why you want to bring me back.

I want you to know that I am desperately trying to heal and to find myself again. And for that, I cannot allow any distractions.

As much as I love talking to you and seeing you, I know I must be strong and pull away… because you are not good for me, and we are not good for each other. We tried many times, and each time, we failed.

Please don’t make this harder for me. If you’ve noticed that I’ve distanced myself, please don’t text, don’t call, don’t show up.

I’ve made my decision, and you won’t change my mind. You may miss me, I understand. I miss you too. But for the first time, I have to be selfish and focus only on myself and my well-being.

I am growing distant from you because I’ve learned one of the hardest lessons: you cannot force life to happen the way you want it to. You cannot force someone to love you the way you want to be loved. And that’s okay. What’s not okay is desperately going back, trying to fix an unknown relationship that was broken long ago, instead of healing yourself and letting go.

-mcdd

[perfectfeelings]

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

[mainedesaliza]

I kinda lost track of time this year,

Didn't even know how old I was.

But honestly? I'm so grateful.

I lost track of hours, days, and years,

Counting only the echoes of laughter,

The gentle footprints of those who stayed,

And the shadows of those who wandered away.

Yet here I stand, grateful for it all,

For hands that held, for hearts that let go,

For memories whispered in quiet rooms,

And stories etched in the corners of my soul.

Even those who forgot,

I carry them softly,

For they too were teachers,

Guiding me without knowing.

Time may blur, and age may slip,

But the universe has stitched me

From pieces of love and lessons,

And I am whole, here, now,

Thankful for every fragment,

Every smile, every tear, every breath.

-maine_mayo

[mainedesaliza]

BETWEEN THE PAST & NOW

I stand between the past and now,

Torn by memories that won’t let go,

A place where love once held me close,

Now only echoes in the undertow.

I thought I knew what love could be,

I wanted it to be the light,

But sometimes we hold on so tight,

We fail to see that it’s not right.

I built a future in my mind,

A world where you and I could shine,

But the truth is hard to face,

The love we sought was not divine.

So now I step away from you,

Not because I don’t care,

But because in loving you this way,

I’ve lost myself somewhere.

The hardest part is letting go,

And learning how to heal,

But I’ll find my way through the dark,

And trust that time will seal.

I will not beg for love or fight,

I’ll give myself the strength to stand,

For healing starts when we let go,

And take our future in our hands.

-maine

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