welcome, we’re the mainframe system! our main blog is @frothingatthemaw
our collective name is mainframe or main
collective pronouns are they/it/he, we are masc heavy
we interchange the terms “alter” and “headmate,” as well as we/i
headmate tags to indicate who’s posting will be “[emoji/s].txt” and reblogs will be "[emoji].rb"
PRONOUNS.CC
spotify | pinterest | pfp by bonncy, header by thecringerbreadman on insta | mutuals can ask for our discord
DNI/RULES: if you think introjects (especially introjects’ sources who turned out to be shitty) are their sources and SPECIFICALLY if you’re also a system, please fucking block us :). we have some alters from “problematic” sources, do not treat them with disrespect. do not tell us how to run our system. do not ask about our trauma unless prompted. if you disrespect our individual boundaries. if you are going to talk to us about syscourse. and fuck you if you support c or cc dream/dreamteam.
EXTRAS: if you say you’re a system, we believe you. we are mostly okay with doubles and sourcemates, but please ask individuals their own boundaries with it. we are okay with flirting in a platonic, romantic, joking, or serious way but use tone indicators as we are autistic. we prefer sys4sys relationships. some of our introject headmates like to be treated like their source, some are iffy about their source, or some completely want to be separated from it, so please ask our introjects their feelings with it. we split easily and are a system with mostly introjects.
people seemingly make out dissociative amnesia out to be like what you'd experience passing out and staying asleep for 9 solid hours but in my experience it's far more like one of those nights where you're really struggling to sleep.
you wake up a few times halfway through the night you wander off to the bathroom before making it back and quickly falling back asleep. you hear some words and you think they're your partner but you might be imagining it. there's a loud banging noise but god knows where it's coming from. someone asks you about classes tomorrow but you don't remember if they really did or if you just imagined it. you go to the bathroom again only to realize once you're there that you never got up out of bed.
you wake up a few hours later and get on with your day. well aware of the time that passed but you're really not sure which bits were dreams or not, and if you don't think about it actively it'll probably fade from your memory before you realize. doesn't mean you don't remember some things or didn't notice the time pass, it's just really really messy
sys culture is the host (ME.) being frontstuck for so long without hearing from any of our alters and immediately thinking ur faking (what do i do in this situation help)
A comic about how our system (especially our host) feels about our experiences as a P-DID system, and our place in the system community as a P-DID system.
text written out under cut
"I wish we weren't a P-DID system."
"I've been the lone host of this system for 11+ years. The dominant part of it."
"It's been a lot to deal with."
"I wish I wasn't the host of our system."
"I wish I could switch out with someone willingly,"
"Because sometimes it's all too much."
"I know it would probably be just as - if not more- distressing."
"But sometimes I find myself envious of system that can switch and share responsibilities."
"I want to switch, but I'm also scared of the idea of letting go of front. Maybe that comes with being a P-DID system."
"I'm scared of what might happen if someone else fronted, alone."
"I feel guilty for thinking that, because I know of a handful of instances,"
"and all of them were FINE. Nobody even suspected it was Titan or Harby, not me."
"Of course, they only front very rarely. I can count all instances I know on two hands. And only when I physically can't front. Due to sleeping\being unconscioud or something similar."
"I feel bad that the others don't get time to do the things they want to."
"I feel like none of this might be real, because I rarely see people talk abt [about] P-DID experiences."
"I feel like an outsider in the system community."
"I wish there was a bigger P-DID community to share experiences with."
[text in boxes say: "*something about switches* #pdid" "*talk abt switching* #pdid" "*switching meme* #pdid" "*switching* #pdid" "*switches* pdid"] "I feel sad everytime I see post[s] about switching in the PDID tags. They remind me that's not me."
"You can't do that."
"I'm -- we're -- tired of constantly hearing P-DID is just the OSDD-1 of the ICD. We don't think they're the same at all."
"When we hear people with OSDD-1 share their experiences, we can't really relate. Neither subtype reflects our experience as a P-DID system."
"I feel broken and wrong."
"I feel like we don't belong in the system community."
"We don't share a lot of the common system experiences, because we have P-DID."
"But we don't feel like we belong to the singlets, either."
sure this can go here, i’m not sure of where else because i can’t put this on our main.
tell me why vessel asked me questions while we were in the shower about how to shave our legs? and then asked to try itself and did? and why did he insist on washing our hair because i was going too fast, said that it was supposed to be enjoyable?
and a thing i figured out: it likes to be scratched? especially his neck. while we were washing, he used our nails quite a lot.
Waking up together, opening the same eyes, and stretching the same limbs. Yawning in time and saying a good morning that only you who are involved can understand what it's for.
Sharing a meal, not only from the same plate, but with the same hands and the same senses. Deciding what to eat together, something that fits all of your tastes.
Curled in the same bed, in the same blankets, in the same body, drowzily mumbling about nothing and everything to each other. Joking around and feeling their sleepy laugh as if it were your own.
Living life, and inviting them to share yours and your time in it--performing your daily tasks in the unison of cofront. Seeing and hearing and feeling everything together.
Feeling them blush when you flirt or compliment them. Feeling their joy when you get them a gift, or how safe you make them feel simply when you're around them.
Enveloped in the same love, from the same brain, with the same feeling of care for each other palpable between you. Feeling the emotions you feel yourself, coming from the other person. Feeling their love for you, in the rawest, most direct possible way.
thinking about stuff and maybe instead of when others come to front and try to mask as me so we don’t have to explain to people we switched, maybe we should just unapologetically be different people and if someone questions that then that’s on them. we’re a system and that’s well known, so that’s not really our problem, is it? we should be able to be open as our own people without having to explain why we’re different or apologizing for switching, etc.
BUT you can have fun with it. make silly groups on simply plural, change each other's display names on plural kit as pranks. become friends with each other and talk about the good memories you have with each other. this disorder doesn't have to be doom and gloom 24/7. have some whimsy and joy too.
disclaimer: this post is supposed to be lighthearted, obviously I know not every system is able to do things like this or that my examples fit everyone. these are things my system does :)
