Hello Im The Happy Mask Salesman And I Sell Masks

[making-smiles-come-true]

Hello Dearies I am a happy salesman and welcome to my shop I suppose you have found me wandering around hyrule With all my masks

Questions For me Shall be filed under #​the happy mask salesman answers your questions

OOC: I know THMS uses Dearie its just what he calls his customers Like Rumpelstiltsken from once apon a time He doesnt mean it like in a romantic way And PLEASE KEEP IT SFW!!

[d-licousweenie]

It's really sad to me that Ganondorf gets treated as the default straight cis guy of the Zelda series because he's like... the least straight cis guy there.

People are so quick to call Link every flavor of queer for all the different outfits he has but then they don't apply this same thinking to Ganondorf? Like, Ganondorf may not have a lot of outfits, but on average Ganondorf is like... MAJORLY outdressing Link in literally every game he's in.

Like. Look at Ganondorf’s over the top borderline drag persona ass outfit. He's wearing a SKIN TIGHT latex bodysuit,(which is usually reserved for women in gaming btw) leather armor that is MOLDED to his abs with a matching codpiece that shows his LITERAL DICK PRINT, with a pair of big ass earrings and a cape to top it off. That's not even mentioning how much functionality he's sacrificing for fashion here.

Like come on. Look at that dramatic ass hairstyle. No straight cis man has hair like that.

WW Ganondorf is more simple and even then like... you can tell he still puts more thought into his appearance than Link.

And now HW is where people really stump me because how do you look at these two people side by side and decide Link is the more queer coded one. Ganondorf is wearing FUR BOOTS and GOLDEN GAUNTLETS. AND a skirt. And you can tell he cares about his hair cuz he he's not hiding it behind some fugly green hat. He's flaunting his masculinity here like a peacock here how is his homosexuality going over people's heads???

The top knot that doesn't tangle or look millennial core somehow. The excess of gold AS PER USUAL BTW, the off the shoulder moment, the obnoxious ass forehead gem ALSO AS PER USUAL BTW, the fuckin toe rings. Link is wearing rags here btw. Literal 10,000 year old rags. And somehow Link's the queer coded one???

"But what about the Gerudo Vai outfit?" What about the Gerudo Vai outfit? Ganondorf IS Gerudo. You think he hasn't worn those same types of clothes multiple days in a row? Those clothes are nothing but a costume to Link, to Ganondorf that's just a way of life.

And even if he didn't, can we stop acting like queerness is inherently feminine? Ganondorf is the only man in an all female society. He had 2 mothers. He had no male role models growing up whatsoever. In Ganondorf’s time, the Gerudo don't have good relations with Hyrule, so men likely aren't allowed in the desert. Which means that even though Ganondorf is told he is voe, he has virtually no reference for what a voe acts like, or what a voe even is. All he really has is what his fellow countrywomen tell him, and even then men haven't ever really made that good of an impression on the Gerudo, so he's got all of these expectations for what a voe is all at once and he has to figure it out by himself. And not to mention how obsessed Gerudo society is with finding that dream voe. Ganondorf probably did have to take or at least participate in a 'voe and you' class before. Is it that big of a stretch to say that Ganondorf was expecting to find his own dream voe, and those expectations were cut short by the realization that he IS the dream voe, and so he could never have his own dream voe because Gerudo society demands it? And to top it all off, Hylian men suck. Do you not think he yearns for the company of another man with even half a shred of competence that a Gerudo vai has? Do you not think he dreams about being a vai himself under such conditions?

Ganondorf doesn't have to be feminine to be queer, this fanbase is just, as I have said before, fucking littered with sexists and racists and shit.

[bunnynotravioli]

One day that red plumber will invite me to go go-karting with him…and I’ll charge him for every cameo I make

[making-smiles-come-true]

Oh? Perhaps we could strike a deal!. I have... A couple or so masks of him:)

[bunnynotravioli]

Ooooo

Interesting

Not world ending stuff I hope?

[making-smiles-come-true]

For us no :)

[bunnynotravioli]

One day that red plumber will invite me to go go-karting with him…and I’ll charge him for every cameo I make

[making-smiles-come-true]

Oh? Perhaps we could strike a deal!. I have... A couple or so masks of him:)

[ganon-the-dorf]

🍄🍄🍄

🍄🍄🍄

🍄🍄🍄

Wanna buy a rushroom?

-Everyone’s favorite bunny merchant

Hmmm, what variety do you have?

[bunnynotravioli]

The strong type. The world will slow down around you, and they’re cheap too!

[ganon-the-dorf]

Is that why all my warriors have been acting so strangely today...

[bunnynotravioli]

They’re happy, just look at those smiles!

Don’t they look positively enthused? Care to try a sample?

[ganon-the-dorf]

I would rather you didn't sell to my guards. How did you even manage to get into my palace?

[bunnynotravioli]

Ehe

@making-smiles-come-true

[making-smiles-come-true]

hmmmm how odd ^_^

[beedlesshopshipshape]

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I’m happy to say Beedle’s shop ship is reopening.

I look forward to seeing you all there!

as this is a happy occasion, all items will have a 10 percent discount, but for A LIMITED TIME ONLY so come now!

have a great day! We appreciate your patronage, and as always

Thaaaaaaaaaank you! For choosing Beedle’s shop!

[bunnynotravioli]

Sheerow…get the rupees ready, I smell business!

@making-smiles-come-true

He’s back!

[making-smiles-come-true]

Oh how lovely I bet we shall have the best of business collaborating with our respective wares

[bunnynotravioli]

Sheerow…Sheerow..! Where are you? Did you sneak off with the small one again? How many times must I tell you, hair is not an appropriate place to nest unless it’s darker than a blueberry!

[bunnynotravioli]

@do-it-four-swords

[do-it-four-swords]

I don’t know where Sheerow is at the moment but I’ll keep an eye out for him

[bunnynotravioli]

Thank you short one, if you find him, I’ll give you a mortal soul in exchange. I hear the happy mask salesman takes them as payment

[bunnynotravioli]

@making-smiles-come-true

[making-smiles-come-true]

hellooo yes ? ^_^

[making-smiles-come-true]

Do you have a mask that’ll make me blend in with the Gerudo? I want to go sell things there…but unfortunately…the hood isn’t a good enough disguise, and Sheerow keeps getting lost.

I’ll give you a cut of the profit.

as a matter of fact! Happy shopping Have Faith and keep smiling

[bunnynotravioli]

Thanks…do I pay you in selfies or mortal souls?

[making-smiles-come-true]

Mortal Souls are best! continue to spread the joy ^_^

[bunnynotravioli]

Very well, how many

[making-smiles-come-true]

How ever many you have ^_^

[bunnynotravioli]

I can give you 6

[making-smiles-come-true]

is that how many you HAVE?

[bunnynotravioli]

I’m renting the rest out currently.

[making-smiles-come-true]

damm it I'll take them then ...

[making-smiles-come-true]

Do you have a mask that’ll make me blend in with the Gerudo? I want to go sell things there…but unfortunately…the hood isn’t a good enough disguise, and Sheerow keeps getting lost.

I’ll give you a cut of the profit.

as a matter of fact! Happy shopping Have Faith and keep smiling

[bunnynotravioli]

Thanks…do I pay you in selfies or mortal souls?

[making-smiles-come-true]

Mortal Souls are best! continue to spread the joy ^_^

[bunnynotravioli]

Very well, how many

[making-smiles-come-true]

How ever many you have ^_^

[bunnynotravioli]

I can give you 6

[making-smiles-come-true]

is that how many you HAVE?

[making-smiles-come-true]

Do you have a mask that’ll make me blend in with the Gerudo? I want to go sell things there…but unfortunately…the hood isn’t a good enough disguise, and Sheerow keeps getting lost.

I’ll give you a cut of the profit.

as a matter of fact! Happy shopping Have Faith and keep smiling

[bunnynotravioli]

Thanks…do I pay you in selfies or mortal souls?

[making-smiles-come-true]

Mortal Souls are best! continue to spread the joy ^_^

[bunnynotravioli]

Very well, how many

[making-smiles-come-true]

How ever many you have ^_^

[making-smiles-come-true]

Do you have a mask that’ll make me blend in with the Gerudo? I want to go sell things there…but unfortunately…the hood isn’t a good enough disguise, and Sheerow keeps getting lost.

I’ll give you a cut of the profit.

as a matter of fact! Happy shopping Have Faith and keep smiling

[bunnynotravioli]

Thanks…do I pay you in selfies or mortal souls?

[making-smiles-come-true]

Mortal Souls are best! continue to spread the joy ^_^

[making-smiles-come-true]

I heard you had masks to sell….as the only iteration of the links with good financial sense…I’m prepared to invest…

Ah how WONDERFUL! How much haha how many smiles will you spread ^_^

[making-smiles-come-true]

Do you have a mask that’ll make me blend in with the Gerudo? I want to go sell things there…but unfortunately…the hood isn’t a good enough disguise, and Sheerow keeps getting lost.

I’ll give you a cut of the profit.

as a matter of fact! Happy shopping Have Faith and keep smiling

[bunnynotravioli]

I live again!

[making-smiles-come-true]

Ahh good to see I'm not the only one here still to pester the links ey ^_^

[making-smiles-come-true]

Uhh.. hey, I think my dad knew you.. do you happen to have a mask that could send the wearer to the twilight realm?

Hmm unfortunately dearie you'd need a teleportation rune for that... but if you seek protection from the twilight well He grinned with a creepy smile pulling out a delicately carved worlf mask that looked almost too human

I suppose this could help y'know they say this mask holds the hero's spirit as well but those are just rumors I suppose this was a hard mask to aquire so that ups the price ^_^

[guyfromordon]

how do I get a teleportation rune? @making-smiles-come-true

[making-smiles-come-true]

Well I unfortunately only sell masks but @bunnynotravioli or @beedlesshopshipshape might know as I only dabble in magical masks

[making-smiles-come-true]

Uhh.. hey, I think my dad knew you.. do you happen to have a mask that could send the wearer to the twilight realm?

Hmm unfortunately dearie you'd need a teleportation rune for that... but if you seek protection from the twilight well He grinned with a creepy smile pulling out a delicately carved worlf mask that looked almost too human

I suppose this could help y'know they say this mask holds the hero's spirit as well but those are just rumors I suppose this was a hard mask to aquire so that ups the price ^_^

[menicemajora]

Hello Majora I hear your getting into shenanigans again ^_^ - @making-smiles-come-true

YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE, BE GONE FOUL FIEND

[making-smiles-come-true]

Oh But Dearie is that truly a way to greet an old friend chasing em out

D̴͔̫̫̼͒͌͋̑̊̀̌̕͜͠ͅȏ̸͙͔̼̱̫̌̾̽̃n̴̘̔͆́̂͊̿͝t̷͇̎̏̋̈́͠ ̴̻̪̟̺̣̬̩͓̑̋́̒̾̃̂͜͝͝y̷̰̰͖̘̳̖̖̩̟͉̏o̸̖̖̘͎̞̳̔͊̿̓͝u̵̯̓̂̓̓͝ ̸̨̱̰̗̱̜͈͆̃̂̾͒́̕r̴̟̓̈̈̉͑ę̴̧͓̗͚͙͐̋͊m̵̨̦̜̦̣̞͙̥̦͆̊͆̕ę̸̧̥̮̩̭͇̗͗͊̇̿̕͜m̴̗̜̫̖̪̫̟͉͎̾̽͐̊͐b̵̡͉̪͙̙͓̈́͌͝é̵̺̤͖̂̍͐r̷̢͖̬͊͘ ̴͉̺̯̙̘̲̀̀ͅã̸̱͎ḷ̸̺̳̋̀͘ͅl̶͓͙͑̄̈́̂̀̕͝ ̵̢̟̫̞̠̬͑͋͆̕t̴̗͕͍̫̟̤̉̋̋̐͑̅̓͝ͅḩ̴̢̳̹̞̯͍̪͆̒͜ͅe̴̳͌̈́̄̍͐̐́͘̕ ̵̢̦̣̈́̈́̈̾͌͗̈́f̴͍̟͈͓͇͐̄u̴͔̞͈͑̇̕͠ņ̶̗̫̈́̍̿̊̓͊̔̃̊͝ ̷̨̧̢̪̦̫̱̳͇̪̔̌̈́W̸̢̨̧̟̥͈̤̲̝͗̋̋͛̈́͑̌͘̕ͅę̸̩͕̣̑̇̇́'̷̥̯͎̗͛̎̈͛̊̇̈́͂͘v̸̯̜̤̯̬̩̮̤̼͕̒̑̀̾͐̆̔͘͠ḙ̸͉͋͜ͅ ̶̡̌̓̀h̴̢̢̨̢̢͚͙͚̦̠̄̈́̎̇͆͗̒̚̚ä̵̳̯͓̬̗̮́ͅd̵͕̦̈́

^_^

[menicemajora]

You're SO rightttttt, how about we play a game! You can be the ancient evil that needs capturing and I can be the hero that seals you up for eternity! :D

[making-smiles-come-true]

Whatever Makes you happy dearie

Ȳ̵̨̺̩̠͓̻̻́̿͂̉͂̐̕o̴̱̪̞͚̔͑u̸̧͔̥͉̮̮̒̅̔̍̄'̶̢̟̘̖̖͐͗͗̔͘͝l̴̢̢̛͇̙̝͉͉͑̽͑̈́̕͝l̸̙̳̲̐ ̵̬̩̙̈́͗̊ǎ̷̢̼̤̝͉̜͍͇͋͜͜ĺ̴̡͙̯̙͉̪̣̦̼̂̌͌̓̀̔͐͝ͅw̴̧̳̭̱̹̻̙͕̖̍͋́͛̐â̷͈̎̍̓̉͒̄͝y̵̳͕̱̙͓͍̯̒̃͌̄̕s̵͕͇͕̲̜͚̮̯̰̬͊̔̽̾͗̾͠ ̴̡̧̟͉̅̾̀͂̄̇͒ͅͅF̷͕̼̠̠͍̺̓a̶̧̩͍̳̯̼̟̙͌̔͊̔̀̌̊i̷͕̮͉̇ͅl̶̨̜͇̟͉̝̮͐̆ ̵̱̭̟̭̤͕̥͓̼̍͒̀w̵͎̰̦̖̫̭͈͗̔́̐̂̋h̸̢̛͚̘͍̣̮̜̐͗͑͆̈́̚͝͝͠ͅẹ̷͓͍͔̬̠̻̗͒͐̃̍͌̊̾͝ͅn̶̗̝̝̋̀̑́̊͝ ̴̰͎͓̹̀͐͐͛͊į̵̘̮̙̙͚̑͛̓̐͆̔̂̕t̶̢̩̹̘̪͐͐͗̐̀̒̉́́ ̴̦̔̐m̸̪̮̙̣̀̿̀͒̅̆̋̒ḁ̸̏̔͆͊̎͑͊̂͘͝t̵̨̢͈̘̬̤̦̣̲͌̅́̿̃̂̂͝t̶̗̖͑́̑͐͘e̵̬̙̫̥͒ŗ̶͚̮̥̼̓̎̀͑̒̏͘͝s̴͕͔̜͍̙̤̗͉͚̣̍̎̉͝ ̸̤͐̈́̓̾̈́̆̆̆m̸̡̛̱̹͂́͋́̆̽o̷͉̱͛͑͗̉̀̓ͅs̸̛͇͊t̷̡̛̙͕̮͙̣̻̂͗̐̎

^_^

Dont you remember playing that little game with a simple child of the woods in green I remember that was a fun game dont you think

[menicemajora]

:< Would've been much more fun if you hadn't changed the rules!

[making-smiles-come-true]

I never changed the ruless dear the stakes merely changed