Little bird, big nest

The Sparrow Adventures

[mamab1rd]

[mamab1rd]

So You Think You Can Sleep

Karma is a funny little thing. I am pretty sure it’s all my fault that Archer hasn’t slept through the night in his own bed since he was 5 months old. I had no problem when he was 2 months old screaming at the top of my lungs that he has been sleeping through the night.

There I was on baby 3, sleeping in my bed, having sex whenever I wanted, going on date night and seeing shows. Ugh. I should have never said anything. Neither of us have slept without him attached to my boob in 3 months. That’s Karma.

With the older boys I let them cry it out and have been perfect sleepers since they were around 7 months...but they were also weaned. With Archer, he has some major boob attachment issues. He won’t even tolerate Dad holding him when he is sleepy and the boob is near. I either needed to go on vacation for a week while Dad sleep trained Archer or find a better solution.

So after many google searches and self help book skimmings I found a solution that seemed to have the perfect mix of what I know I needed to do, and what I was willing to do.

The Sleep Lady’s Good night, sleep tight sleep shuffle seemed pretty legit. One the first night you start off in a chair next to the baby offering reassurance and gradually move your chair out of the room until your child can sooth himself to sleep.

The incredible Infant spells it out pretty good, but I also bought the kindle version of the book and found the chapters by age very helpful.

The Cheat Sheet 

Archer’s current Schedule vs. Suggested Schedule

8 am - Get out of bed

9 am - Breakfast

10-11 am Nurse to sleep in MY bed

12-1 Wake up & Lunch

3 - Nurse to sleep in MY bed

4:00 Up and play

5:30 Dinner

8: Nurse to sleep in MY bed

10:30 Wake and Nurse back to sleep and I usually stayed in bed with him

1-7 am waking up on and off dream nursing ALL NIGHT LONG

Sometimes he would wake at 3am wide awake and I would let him play (bad Mommy, I know)

When I ran errands during the day he pretty much slept in the car or in the Ergo.

Suggested Schedule

7am -Wake and Nurse (give bottle) and have breakfast

9am - Nap (Ideally, 1 to 2 hours) Nurse and Lunch

12:30 Nap (1 to 2 hours)

3:30pm (depending on when he got up) Optional Nap (45minutes to a 1 hour)

5pm Dinner

6pm Bedtime routine and last nursing session (bottle)

7pm Bedtime

This seems like the miracle drug I have been looking for!

Sleep Goals for Archer

Sleeping every nap at home in his crib

Sleeping through the night in his crib

Dissociating Nursing with sleep

*Spoiler alert: I am on day two of this program and I can’t express how “easy” it has been. I slept all night last night in my bed without a baby attached to me!

Please let me know if you have any questions or want to discuss what you are doing that could help other people!

[mamab1rd]

Naturally Disinfecting Baby Toys

Everyone in the house finally has a clean bill of health. Over the past few weeks we have all been struggling with winter colds. Now, I am not a neat freak by any means, but when it comes to little ones I tend to get super aware of where they can be getting their germs.

When I worked at a daycare many years ago we cleaned all the toys in diluted bleach water. When it comes to Little A, I am not sure I want him mouthing on something that has been soaked in bleach. The past few years I have shied away from commercial cleaners and sought out natural remedies to keep our home clean. 

Vinegar has disinfecting qualities and is a natural oder eliminator. I keep a spray bottle of half water, half vinegar under my sink that I use for cleaning everything. I haven't used any harsh cleaners in over a year and I have never had a problem. 

So, to get those toys clean:

Supplies:

Sink with Hot Water

Vinegar

Tea Tree Oil and Peppermint oil

  Step 1) I fill the sink up with the hottest water I can get and add about 2 cups of vinegar along with a few drops of oil.

Step 2) Place all wood and plastic toys in soak. Make sure they are all covered or you mix it around every 10  minutes or so.

Step 3) Let Soak for at least 30 minutes. 

Step 4) Drain the water and rinse.

Step 5) Air Dry

What about those stuffed animals and fabric toys?

I wash the fabric toys in a separate load with baby detergent. I let air dry then place in a freezer bag and leave in the freezer overnight.

On items that you can't submerge in water I would suggest spraying a cloth with the solution and wiping down. 

Vinegar has been my best friend for a couple of years now. Hopefully, this has been insightful! 

[mamab1rd]

Happy Mother's Day to the Unmothered Mother

This Mother’s Day isn’t very different from Sundays at my house. I woke up and snuggled Jonathan and the boys. Jonathan made me coffee and breakfast and later tonight we will go to my Dad’s for dinner. I am so fortunate to be shown appreciation and love everyday.

  The past few weeks I have had a heavy heart when I think about Mother’s Day as it pertains to my own Mother. It might be the pregnancy hormones or me being in my late 20’s and developing more as a woman. This Mother’s Day has brought me anxiety, and a reminder of what I wish I had rather than appreciation for what I did have.

  When you lose your Mother at a young age, by death or abandonment, it makes you feel like an outsider. You are marked, unmothered..we miss out on that nurture and experience of the ancient wisdom that has been passed down from Mother to child for as long as time. There is a sense of insecurity and loss that never goes away.

  I see these effects when it comes to building relationships with other women...with men...my children...my own self.

  I can’t remember the last time my Mother asked how my day was or was happy for me. I don’t understand how she could go so many holidays without her daughter, or move cross country to be with a man she had met once, but couldn’t do that for her young children. I don’t understand why she couldn’t accept the help she needed...for her children, if not for herself.

  I never felt like I wanted children because I never felt maternal. I was scared that I would abandon my children like my Mother did, and like her Mother before her. I couldn’t imagine loving someone more than myself, because I had not witnessed being on the receiving end of that love.

  The first time I held my son, I fell in love. Even when I found out I was pregnant again, with a child I knew didn’t deserve to be brought into my current situation, I loved so fully. Sometimes it was so hard to show that love, and think about what was best for them, rather than what was easy for me. When I made the hard decision to leave their Dad without any money, without any belongings...I proved to myself that I was not my Mother. I had to fight so hard. I was 22, working full time and going to school full time...alone with a 1 and 2 year old. It would have been so easy to give up, in all reality that is the only example I had been given by my Mother.

  Once I became a Mother it hit me harder. Why couldn’t my Mother love me the way I love my children. No miles, no person...nothing could stop me from having a relationship with my children.

  It is a hard road of Motherhood when our Mothers aren't there...not matter the age you are when you lose your Mother. If no one has told you lately...you should be proud and you deserve the love you receive!

  I am thankful for the wonderful Mothers I have in my life now. I honestly think one of the reasons Jonathan was brought into my life was to provide the boys and me with a group of truly amazing women. I look at his Mom, Aunts, and Cousins and see family and acceptance. I am truly lucky to have them.  

  I am so proud of myself for breaking the cycle. My Mother doesn’t acknowledge my strength or show pride for me...I have learned to have to do that for myself. Unmothered Daughters, like myself, have to work 10 times harder at being a Mother than most. So to all Moms, especially the ones whom I share this bond, Happy Mother’s Day.

[mamab1rd]

27

Today I am 27...

I was born November 21, 1986. I was due the 22nd, but something knew I was going to have to be a scorpio. I can remember my 5th birthday; I got a VCR and Disney’s Robin Hood was the first video tape we ever owned. My 16th birthday I got my tonsils taken out. On my 21st I was still exclusively breastfeeding Bradley but was able to sneak away to Applebees (the closest place in my hick town that served alcohol) to purchase my first legal drink.

This morning I woke up to William, who will be 7 in about two weeks time, snuggling up to me with too much excitement to contain. He was so ready to give me the present he picked out and the smile he had on his face was the best present I could have gotten. I have spent the day wrapped in love.

So much has happened between November 2012 and November 2013:

My heart broke when I woke up Christmas morning without the boys. The boys and I got to go to Ohio and see family. We moved to Atlanta, changed jobs, and started the path towards my dream job. Went camping, to Austin, and so many shows with the love of my life. Got really down, but built back up. Made some friends and lost some friends. We also found out we are expecting a 5th family member, Baby Nesbitt due June 2014.

This has been the easiest and most lived year of my life. The best.

This coming year I will be working on being a more grateful and patient person. I struggle, but I am thankful to have people around me everyday that show me love and make me want to be my best. I grew up fast and for a long time I have lived in survival mode. I don’t have to do that anymore, but it takes time to adjust to a new way of life and living with unconditional love everyday. I am thankful that I have a partner in love and in parenting and two little boys that call me Mommy.

I really don’t know how we are going to top this last year, but I so look forward to trying!