miss atomic bomb

━━ "she was unstoppable not because she did not have failures or doubts. but because she continued on despite of them." chey johnson | 25 | videographer

[doctorjane-foster-deactivated20]

“The killers are  great. “ Clarke grinned and walked alone with Chey. “Clarke.” He said  “I just moved back to town so I am getting my bearings.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around before focusing on her face. “So.. what do you do Chey?”

[mandacheyj-blog]

      And just like that, the stranger became a friend. Anyone who even slightly appreciated The Killers was a friend of hers. She smiled at the comment then looked at him as they walked. “Oh, so you’re from here? Welcome back.” Chey put her phone and earbuds back into her purse and threw the strap over her shoulder. “I’m a videographer. I mainly work for the local new station, film some freelancing gigs when I can. What about you?”

[mandacheyj-blog]

5, 6, 19, 22.

What  are you looking forward to in the next week?

My brother and his family are staying with me for a bit next week! Haven’tseen them in months, so I’m pretty pumped.

Did you go out or stay in last night?

Go out on a Tuesday? The club may have been going up, but I however wasnot. I definitely stayed in and mentally counted the hours and minutes untilthe weekend.

Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

Uh, yeah, actually. That’s kind ofa creepily specific question.

Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

No way, except for that time I was inan orgy – KIDDING. Of course not, I’m a loser, I’d be lucky to kiss one in one night.

[emptynewacc]

“It is a cool name,” Harlow agreed, nodding her head as she approached the box to her nose to smell it again. “Thanks, feel free to tell my boss that.” She joked, although she really appreciated the compliment. Harlow had been working in this store since she arrived in town and even if it wasn’t her dream job she didn’t mind working here. “I have to admit they really do smell good.” She said, laughing softly as she observed her taking a few boxes. “I guess it depends on the person. I didn’t believe in any of this at first, but it has helped me. Maybe it’s because I tell clients that it works so often that it messed with my head and lead me to believe it or maybe it actually works. Whatever it is, you should give it a chance. If it helps then great, if it doesn’t your place will smell great.”

[mandacheyj-blog]

     It was nice not having to hear the woman lie and guarantee that the incense has magical powers. Most people just tried to shove a product down the customer’s throat. “Mind over matter. It always works,” she added, fully aware that she’d most likely trick herself into believing the mumbo jumbo of it all. Chey brought the boxes closer to her nose and got a slight whiff. “Wow, these do smell good.” She chuckled and looked at the clerk. “Thank you for helping me out. I didn’t catch your name..”

[mandacheyj-blog]

50 questions

1: What would you name your future daughter?

2: Do you miss anyone?

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

5: What are you looking forward to in the next week?

6: Did you go out or stay in last night?

7: How late did you stay up last night?

8: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

9: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

10: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

11: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

12: Have you pretended to like someone?

13: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

14: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

16: Think back five months ago, were you single?

17: Have you ever cried from being so mad?

18: Hold hands with anyone this week?

19: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

20: Who did you last see in person?

21: What is the last thing you said out lot?

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

23: Have you ever been to Paris?

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

25: Do you use chap stick?

26: Who did you last share a bed with?

27: Are you listening to music right now?

28: What is something you currently want right now?

29: Were your last three kisses from the same person?

30: How is your heart lately?

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

32: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

33: What do people call you?

34: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?

36: What are you listening to right now?

37: What is wrong with you right now?

38: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

39: Do you make wishes at 11:11?

40: What is on your wrists right now?

41: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected?

42: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

43: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

44: Have you hugged someone within the last week?

45: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

46: What were you doing at midnight last night?

47: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

48: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

49: Have you ever been to New York?

50: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

[wordsnquotes]

She wanted to say ‘Don’t leave me,’ but she couldn’t do it, not again. She was so tired of begging people to love her.

Kristin Hannah, The Nightingale  (via itsalwayslydia)

[allbullshiit]

High school had kept Weezie busy. Between treatment in the Montgomery hospital and her extracurricular activities and homework, she didn’t have much time to herself. The small girl with overly curly hair and large glasses was elected class president because no one else ran against her and she was the club chairman.

“I took Spanish courses in middle school, so by my sophomore year in high school, I had taken all of the classes that were offered to me. So, I took Spanish classes online my junior and senior year.”

[mandacheyj-blog]

     Chey’s eyebrows rose and she nodded at the girl’s words impressed. She had taken Spanish in middle school herself, but once junior year came, she dropped it like it was hot. All she wanted was enough credits of a foreign language to graduate with honors – perhaps that’s why she never really retained any of the language she learned.

     “Wow, you’re dedicated,” she chuckled. Her lips parted to comment more, but suddenly the lights flickered back on and a loud hum rang through the elevator shaft. They began to move. “Power’s back on!” She stood up and dusted off her pants then smiled over at Weezie. “Look, I know you’re a little late and all, but you should stop by my place real quick and have a drink. I just went grocery shopping so I finally have actual beverages and snacks.” She chuckled to herself, “but if you gotta go, maybe you can stop by after? Or feel free to run far, far away from me because I sound so needy and in need of company.” Was that a lie? Probably not.

[doctorjane-foster-deactivated20]

Clarke listened as she told him the confused directions each word making his smile wider. “Might be best if you just show me as so far you have told me to walk in a circle.” He chuckled. “What are you listening to ?” He asked as they walked along. 

[mandacheyj-blog]

      A small sheepish smile slipped her lips. She looked up at the man, squinting her eyes slightly to block out the sunlight that beamed down. “Yeah, if it wasn’t obvious, I’m terrible at giving directions.” She nodded her head for him to follow, suddenly craving coffee herself. She began to roll her earbuds around her phone when he asked what she was listening to. “Oh, The Killers,” she told him. “I always think that one day I’ll get tired of listening to their old stuff, but you know, I never do.” She chuckles. “I’m Chey, by the way.”

[doctorjane-foster-deactivated20]

Clarke walked through the streets of Frey and then headed to the the lighthouse. He liked watching it as  gave him a symbolic hope that if he kept looking, he could finally meet someone who would help him get over the past. He walked along, watching the people pass by. Kids playing with kites and bike riders went passed him as he walked. He watched a woman throw a stick into the sea and a dog bound into the cold blue to get it back. As the sun slowly moved behind a cloud, making the breeze colder, Clarke wrapped his coat around him and pushed his glasses back up his straight nose. “Excuse me.” He asked the nearest stranger. “Is there a cafe or coffee shop nearby?” he asked with a soft smile. 

[mandacheyj-blog]

     Work was over, the girl had no plans, and that felt amazing. Maybe it shouldn’t have felt this good to be free to do whatever, but Chey was one to enjoy doing things less productive. In other words, she could be lazy from time to time, but rightfully so. It had been a long day, so long that she felt a desire to walk down to Glass Half Full. Maybe she’d pick up a bottle of wine or something of the likes. She walked with her earphones in her ear, upbeat music keeping a certain pep in her step. When she saw someone address her, she nearly walked right past them. Quickly backing up, she yanked the earbuds out of her ears. “Ah, sorry,” she started with a chuckle. “Um, coffee… yeah! There’s this place not too far from here called Extract. All you gotta do is take a left at that light… wait, maybe it’s a right… No it’s a left. You definitely take a right at some point….” She paused and tucked in her lips embarrassed. “Okay, I’m terrible at giving directions. Want me to just lead you there?”

[emptynewacc]

“That is true, great for movie plots.” Harlow agreed with a nod. She looked at the shelf again, she had organized it a few moments before but she knew it never stayed in order since it was the one shelf that people always liked to touch and move things. Still, she didn’t mind as she enjoyed ordering the boxes every day she tried a different order and sometimes if she liked one enough she stuck with it for a few days. Harlow scrunched her nose when she mentioned buying one from Walmart, she knew how those things smell and it was too strong. “This is definitely better, and I can assure you it won’t mess with your allergies.” She looked as the other woman looked at the box. “Lotus and musk are very good for clearing your head too.” At her question, she looked at the shelf again and grabbed her favorite box. “Dragon’s Blood. The name is not very nice, I have to admit but I like it because it’s a mix between sweet and spicy. Apparently, it dispels the negativity.”

[mandacheyj-blog]

     Clears your head, dispels negativity. All the incense she listed off seem to fall perfectly in line with what Chey was seeking. Negativity often lurked around her in her life, filled her head with doubts and thoughts that keep her restless and awake at late hours. She was always searching for a sense of balance, things to ease her into a comfortable living style. “Dragon’s blood,” she echoed amused, “I actually dig the name.” Looking over all the incense, Chey looked at the woman rather impressed. “You know, you’re pretty good at your job,  because I’m already sold on buying one of each.”  She began to pick up the boxes, then looked over. “Even if this stuff is just sticks that smell good, I’ll probably psyc  myself out into thinking it works. Which, mind over matter can be just as effective. Unless, do you have experience with it actually helping?”

[kingcordelia-blog]

“Well then,” Cordelia cleared her throat, scribbling something on her clipboard before peering up to meet the brunette’s glare. It was obvious this client of her’s was what she liked to refer to as a tip-toer. Someone who liked to avoid the issue, avoid medication, and liked to consider themselves under control. People like this enjoyed handling their own mental illnesses and chose to avoid any outside interference because they believe they’re doing just fine on their own. These kind of clients, the tip-toers, were very hard to manage because they focused more on self-managing then admitting that they had a real problem they needed help with. Cordelia, on the other hand, loved these patients, simply for the challenge involved.

“You’re fine? What’s the problem from your viewpoint, then, since you’re fine?” She asked, clearing the floor and allowing her client room to speak. If she believed she was perfectly fine, then what was the point of her coming to see Cordelia today? For the time being, she was going to focus on this question, considering there must be some pull Amanda felt to come visit, other than the worry of her prior therapist. 

[mandacheyj-blog]

      Truth be told, she didn’t believe in medicating her disorder. Living life with a cloudy mind, strung out on another Prozac, didn’t even feel like living at all. It always felt as if her emotions, her thoughts, her capabilities were out of her hands when under the influence of antidepressants. It was a feeling she wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially herself – then again, she was a bit controlling, wasn’t she? If she didn’t feel in control of her own life, that’s when things get worse for her. Depression increases, even if it subsides for the momentary haze of medication. Deep down, she’s still broken. Taking medication instead of healing herself… that just felt weak. She was done with being weak.

     “There is no problem,” she told her. “I’m not telling you that I’ve been cured, that my depression is completely gone… But it’s better. It’s manageable without medication. I no longer have thoughts of suicide, and of course I’ve never attempted since the last time.” She hesitated and glanced down at her shoes for a moment. Normally she found it easy to hold eye contact, but bringing up that part of herself made her feel almost shameful. She cleared her throat. “I guess, it’d be nice… to talk about these things. I guess that’s the only problem I have. I’m far away from home, I don’t have family here, and my friends are mainly guys from work who obviously don’t care about anything other than trying to out drink me at the bar. Just feels lonely, I guess. And that… for the lack of a better word, sucks. I kind of feel like I’m holding back, not really being myself.”  After the words left her lips, she paused. She was surprised she had even said that much.

[notamusicsnob]

Visit Original Link

We’re reeling through an endless fall

We are the ever-living ghost of what once was

[pistolpiper]

Piper was literally on the struggle bus, party of one right now with the way she was trying to do everything all at once. She decided to accept her defeat and set her coffee down before continuing, only to notice a girl next to her doing the literal same thing she was doing, plus a cinnamon roll. Why didn’t she have one of those? Mental note: get a cinnamon roll.

Okay, enough sidetracking. As she reached to pin up another flyer, she heard a faint food-muffled mumble coming from the woman next to her. Piper laughed as she apologized, unable to help it. This girl was right there on the bus with her, and for a minute, it made her feel a little better. “Yeah,” Piper chuckled, “My old roommate fucking bailed in the middle of the night. For her boyfriend, or something I guess? She left like half of her month’s rent on the counter and dipped. With one of my Wii remotes, I might add.”

Piper’s eyes looked over at the girl’s flyers, the word roommate shouting out at her. “Wait, you are too?” Her eyebrow quirked, feeling as though destiny had just brought them together. Destiny, cinnamon rolls and coffee.

[mandacheyj-blog]

      A dramatic gasp escaped her lips, though she nearly choked by inhaling left over crumbs of the cinnamon roll in her mouth. “That’s brutal,” she said with the shake of her head, “leaves then takes a wii remote? That shit ain’t cheap. Plus, it’s not fun when there isn’t another controller involved.” She was sure there was much larger problems with the situation, but for some reason she was really keen on focusing on that wii. Chey never had a knack at prioritizing the important things.

      Maybe it was a shot in the dark, a leap far too large for her to even be considering, but what were the odds they both seemed to be looking for a roommate in this area? Now, Chey might be spontaneous from time to time, but she wasn’t rash to the point she’d immediately jump down the girl’s throat with invitations to live with her – yeah, she’d sound creepy. But, she was hopeful, a little optimistic for once, that this girl might be interested in having her as a roommate (even if she slightly embarrassed herself with the help of a cinnamon roll).

     “I’m actually looking for a roommate. I haven’t had one since college and after a couple of years alone… I kind of realized I like to have roommates.” Leave it at that. Chey’s eyebrows rose as she very carefully, a little too slowly, handed her a flyer with her info on it. “Maybe… I might be a good candidate? Feel free to crumple this paper up and throw it in my face if not. Or, we can have coffee and talk about it. You’re call.” 

[museinspo]

museinspo’s aesthetic series  — the summer baby

Summer has filled their veins with light and their heart is washed with noon.

[emptynewacc]

Harlow offered the woman a small smile followed by a nervous chuckle. “Oh yeah, it always brings terrible consequences. Although, I’ve heard very interesting stories from people that have used it,” she said, looking at her as the woman stepped further into the store. Harlow continued organizing the candles, in a small store like this there was not much she could and she developed the habit of keeping everything tidy and organized as a way to fight boredom while she was on work. “There are many things here, although the store is mostly popular for the candles and incense.” Harlow replied with a friendly small smile before nodding her head and lead the woman to place where the incense was. “Here you go. We have a wide variety of them and each one of these work for something different. Like this is good for meditation, you know if you’re trying to discover something or remember stuff.” She explained as she grabbed the amber incense.

[mandacheyj-blog]

      “It makes for pretty awesome movies,” Chey added with a playful grin. Adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder, she followed the woman to the incense and took notice of their wide collection. Her eyes scanned all the fragrances as she spoke, looking at all the little details it gave for each one. These type of shops, the local kind that sells things with the purpose of living a peaceful life, always enlightened Chey in the best kind of way. “That’s perfect,” she told the woman, “The last one I got was some… I don’t know, tropical scent from Walmart and it did nothing but mess with my allergies.” Picking up a box of the amber incense, she mumbled mainly to herself, “Lord knows I need something to clear my head.” With a soft inhale, she looked at the clerk and smiled. “Which is your favorite scent?”

[allbullshiit]

Weezie graduated top of her class from her small little high school, which wasn’t hard at all. If anything, it as hard not to be in the top of the class. Weezie wasn’t even a straight A student, but you had to be making straight C’s to not be in the top 25% of the class. The graduating class was made up of fifty kids and ¾ of them had little to no motivation to do well, so that made it much easier fro Weezie to stand out among her graduating class.

“I wouldn’t worry about it. That’s just about as much as these kids I’m tutoring can say,” Weezie smiled, “The main Spanish teacher around here just went on maternity leave.”

[mandacheyj-blog]

      Thinking back to high school always made her internally cringe. Oh, the days of teenage angst and way too many punk bands ( though at the time, she was not complaining… hell, she still isn’t ). Chey remembers doing fairly well in Spanish, always getting complimented on the way she seemed to grasp it so easily. Yet, here she was drawing a blank on almost all of the most basic phrases.

      “Well, I mean. If I was going to Mexico… I’m honestly set just asking where the library is. Everyone knows that’s the most important question to ask while you’re there. All my problems would be solved.” She snickered at herself – she does that a lot – and looked at Weezie. “So, how do you know Spanish so well to be able to tutor in it?”

[romanvmdx-blog]

“You and me both the first was the best but I still did love the last one. I love all of them really…” he made a face “well besides the second icon man that was a wreak’ he laughed then smiled. “But I know I am so happy he’s able to be there. I just hope they do it right and keep him in the gang.

[mandacheyj-blog]

      A small chuckle escaped her lips. “Well, of course I still loved it. At this point, marvel could slap their name on anything and I’m sure I’d love it all unconditionally. But, you’re totally right. Wasn’t a fan of the second Iron Man. I was a fan of third one, though.” The girl could go on for days about all things comics - and she most likely has. “They gotta do it right. This is the third Spider-man.. Third time’s the charm, right?” She laughs to herself. 

[wnq-writers]

‘It’s all in your head.’ “Precisely my problem.”

A. Fischang (via wnq-writers)